WOLVERINE AND SPIDER-MAN RPG ISEKAI EPISODE 5 : TAKING IT EASY
Hey, quick disclaimer, today's episode is pretty chill. The boys needed a breather after their last adventure, so, grab a pint of mead and enjoy a day off in Boar Bramble.
"Now just lay back," instructed the nun.
It was the middle of the night, but Spider-man was having too much pain in his shoulder to stay asleep.
He was at the healers. Curtains for privacy were hung from the ceiling of the tiny convent and the wooden walls were engraved with scenes of the divine, lit by dim candles. A single healer, an elderly nun in brown robes and small round glasses was tending to him. Apparently the healers were duty bound to take in the needy no matter the time of day. Spider-man appreciated that.
"Will it hurt?" he asked laying back on the bed as instructed.
"No love. Why would it hurt?"
"Health potions hurt."
"Health potions and spells add mana to the body to accelerate the healing process. That's why they hurt. We sisters simply redirect the body's own energy to the places that need it more. It won't hurt. All that will happen is you'll get very sleepy.
Spider-man yawned.
"I already could go to sleep, if it wasn't for my blasted shoulder."
The nun gave him a polite chuckle.
"Now," she said in a low, calm voice. "Close your eyes. Feel your breath moving in and out. Feel your toes. Feel your fingertips. Feel your heart beat slowing…slowing…down."
Spider-man took a deep breath as he felt her pull his arm out of its sling and place it beside him.
"Yes adventurer, you are at a place of safety, of warmth, of peace…"
She started chanting in a language Spider-man didn't recognize and began gently ghosting her hands over his skin.
He felt warmth leave the majority of his body and swell in his shoulder. The nun was right. It didn't hurt like the potion. It felt nice on his wound, strange everywhere else. A fog swallowed his mind and he quickly fell into a deep sleep.
Spider-man opened his eyes. With surprise he noticed the sun rising out the window.
"Oh," said the nun noticing him. She was walking through with a box of supplies.
"You're awake early."
"I tend to mend quick," said Spider-man sitting up and stretching. "Of course, I've got nothing on old Logan. As he stretched, he noticed he was using his bad arm like normal.
"Hey," he said surprised looking down at his hand.
"How's it feel love?" asked the nun coming over to inspect him.
Spider-man rolled his shoulder.
"Wow! That feels good as new!" he said impressed.
"Now how would you know what it felt like new?" she asked, her wrinkled face smiling. "You would have been just a baby."
"You've got me there."
"Not that that was that long ago," she said putting away her supplies, some ritualistic items she used in her healing.
"I'll choose to take that as a compliment," said Spider-man giving her an eyebrow.
"You were an easy one for the graveyard shift" she continued ignoring him. "Healing the broken is a lot easier than curing the sick. You did a very good job tending to your wound before getting it to us."
"Thanks, I poured booze on it."
"By the divine. That sounds dreadful."
"It works. Believe me. So can you like heal anything?"
"Oh no love. We healers only use the magical energies to quicken the body's natural process. If it couldn't heal without us, it can't heal with us."
"Huh."
"But a gouge in the arm is well within our power. Just don't go getting branches stuck anywhere more important."
"I'll try not to," he said laughing.
She handed Spider-man some herbs in a little sack as she escorted him out.
"Mix these herbs into your drink or meals until they're gone. More importantly I want you to take it easy today. You hear that dear, no adventuring."
"No adventuring huh?" asked Wyn. She had caught him on his way out the door. Apparently she lived here at the convent and had heard he had spent the night. It was weird to see her out of her armor, opting instead for a cotton tunic and trousers.
"Those are the doctor's orders," nodded Spider-man.
"What's a doctor?"
"Oh sorry. It's nothing."
"Anyway, yah I can see the sisters saying that. They tell me I should be taking it easier all the time. Still, I don't think it's a bad idea. I think we could all stand to take a day off after our quest in Ashen."
"No kidding," said Spider-man. "I could go another three years without doing something like that again."
"Oh, maybe we could work on some training today," said Wyn starting to get excited at the prospect. "Do you and Logan know how to use a sword?"
"No," said Spider-man concerned.
"Wonderful. Don't worry. I'll get everything set up!"
She hurried off.
"Hey Wyn!" called Spider-man catching her before she was out of ear shot. She poked her head out from behind a corner.
"Yes?"
"Um, is there anywhere, you know, I can, uh, clean up?"
Spider-man was in nothing but his filthy tights still covered in mud, river water, blood, and Logan Jr. slime.
Throwing open the door, Spider-man stepped into his and Logan's small inn room.
"Hey Wolvie, you up yet?" he asked throwing a pile onto the mutant's bed.
Wolverine was a lumpy blanket cocoon.
"No," he grumbled.
"You're not hung over are you? I didn't think you did that."
Wolverine, and half the guild hall, had hit the pub pretty hard last night. It wasn't every day two adventurers earned their sapphire ranks.
"No."
"Well then, are you going to get up? Boksee's waiting for us downstairs."
Logan smelled wet soap.
He turned over to see Spider-man in a cotton shirt and trousers with damp hair.
"You smell…clean," he grumbled raising an eyebrow.
"Yah, as it turns out, Boar Bramble has a bath house. It's not much. Pretty much just a cellar with some wooden tubs, but I will gladly take that over taking a bar of soap down to the creek."
Logan grumbled something.
"Also, it's a his and her group bath so that was an awkward encounter with the barkeep. Oh! And I found a launderer, so I went ahead and dropped off our clothes which is why I had to buy us some new threads to wear in the meantime. I stole your clothes by the way. You didn't wake up. Yours are over here," he said motioning to the wad he threw on Logan's bed. Logan just buried himself deeper in his blanket.
"I think they should fit fine," continued Spider-man. "You can just pay me back. The laundry lady said we can pick up our quest clothes this evening. She was pretty happy I had gotten them to her so early in the morning. I think she was trying to hook me up with her granddaughter or something but I…"
"FINE!" barked Logan throwing off his covers. "Fine! I'm gett'n up! Just stop talking!"
Spider-man just grinned as Logan grumbled and cursed under his breath, stuffing himself into his new clothes.
Wolverine, Spider-man and Boksee Junior were sitting at the inn enjoying breakfast. It was a nice day, warmer than it had been, so they were sitting at one of the few outdoor tables.
"So, you two get a bath this morning?" asked Boksee.
"I did," said Spider-man. "Wolvie didn't. Not that that's anything new for him."
Logan gave him a look.
"How's your shoulder feeling?" continued Boksee to Spider-man.
"Good. The healers really fixed it up."
"That is good," mumbled Wolverine with a mouth full of sausage. "That means I can punch you in it again."
"Always looking for the positives aren't you?"
"It's one of my best qualities bub."
Boksee chuckled.
"And Logan, how is your coin sack feeling?" she asked with cheek.
"Yah Logan, how's your sack feeling?" asked Spider-man.
Logan took a swing at him.
Spider-man dodged.
"Come on! I just got out of the healers!"
"My sack is feel'n nice and heavy," he said jingling a leather pouch. "Should be enough to keep me going for a little while anyway."
"Me too," said Spider-man. "It should be after that mess of a quest. I don't know about you guys, but I could go seven more years without going back into Ashen."
"Agreed," said Logan.
"Right, anyway, the sisters really fixed up my arm but they said I had to take it easy today."
"Easy huh?"
"Well naturally," said Boksee. "They used up a lot of your mana to heal your wound."
"Right," said Spider-man a bit skeptically. "Anyway, I'm really interested in the healing magic of this land. I don't think I could ever learn to cast a spell, but I might be able to learn how the potion system works. Do you think the apothecary would let me shadow them?"
"I'm afraid you're not going to have any luck with that," said Boksee.
"What? Why?"
"Potion making is a carefully guarded trade. The only way to learn is to attend an academy. You can't just ask how an alchemist or even an apothecarist creates their brews."
"Not even if I ask nicely?"
"Afraid not."
"Darn."
"Besides, who said you can't learn to cast a spell? Anyone can do it if they put in the time and effort and with the right instruction. Even a barbarian can learn if he wants to, though it might complicate your class a bit."
"What kinda train'n does it take?" asked Logan.
"Usually months of dedicated study, meditation, and instruction with a master. It only took me three weeks myself to learn detect magic, though that is one of the easiest spells there is."
"I'll pass, thanks," said Wolverine.
"See, and that's the reason why most people don't learn magic."
"Most of us just aren't talented enough," said a friendly chap approaching the table.
"Bah. Talent is the rudder of a ship. It points you in a direction but it's your hard work that gets you there."
"Can we help you?" said Spider-man to the man.
"Yes," he answered. "Are you Spider-man?"
"That's me."
"Message for you," he said handing him a letter.
"For me? Thanks!"
Spider-man took it as the courier took his leave.
Spider-man read it and gasped.
"What?" demanded Logan.
"Oh my gosh! Butternut is expecting," he said putting a hand to his mouth in delight.
"Wow! I don't care," said Logan who went back to his breakfast.
"Whose Butternut?" asked Boksee.
"A horse," said Logan bitterly.
"Aw, that's cute."
"I'm gonna have to stop by the stables today," said Spider-man happily.
"To harass the poor old thing?" asked Logan. "Why's the stablemaster sending you letters anyway?"
"Because I care. Hm. Well if I can't learn to make potions, do you think the stablemaster would teach me how to ride in exchange for helping out around the stables?"
"Probably," said Boksee.
Logan snorted.
"Sounds like free labor."
"Spider-man wants to work on his horse master skills. Nothing wrong with that," said Boksee. "Speaking of which, Wyn's probably waiting for us by now. She was clonking rather excitedly. We should head on over."
As the group stood to leave Logan grumbled.
"Like I don't know my way around a horse," he muttered scarfing down the last of his food.
The group stood in a lush field. Birds chirped, the wind blew, and Wolverine and Spider-man sat on their knees as Wyn stood before them.
"The way of the sword is the way of the warrior," she said, a long gleaming sword in her hand. "It is the most versatile and universal of all crafted weaponry."
She flourished her blade through a series of stances, her long lavender hair swishing behind her like a cape.
"I don't wanna use a sword," said Spider-man raising a hand.
"I don't need to learn to use no blasted sword," said Wolverine beside him.
"Whine all you want but you're both learning the basics of sword craft," said Wyn, her mood unhampered.
"Swordcraft eh?" said Logan with a devious glint. "I don't know tuts. I feel like I might know more than the basics," he said out the side of his mouth.
Spider-man held in a laugh.
"You've been in a few sword fights there Logan?"
"Kid, ya got no idea."
"OH!"
Wyn just made a face.
Boksee laughed, sitting on a fence beside them.
"Oh, come on boys. Give the paladin a break you sinners. Even I know how to use a blade," she said.
"You don't use a sword," said Spider-man at Wyn.
"No, but I know how to use one. I know how to use several weapons, as one should. There's no good reason not to learn how to use a sword. On your feet men."
Boksee tossed them both a pair of wooden swords. Unenthusiastically, they both caught them out of the air.
"Now," said Wyn. "Follow my steps and we will begin with learning basic stances, footwork, and vocabulary."
Logan groaned.
The sun was rising over head as the day carried on.
Stepping forward with quick, steady footwork, Wolverine came at Spider-man with a basic stabbing attack.
Spider-man threw up his sword to block it but didn't do it well.
Wolverine's wooden blade slid down his and cracked his knuckles.
"YoW!"
He recoiled.
Taking the opening, the mutant wacked him over the head with another basic attack.
"Logan!" snapped Spider-man grabbing his head.
Wolverine laughed and got him in the side.
"LOGAN!"
"Alright you made your point," laughed Wyn. "Stand down men.
They both lowered their swords.
"Claws, you rascal," said Wyn. "You already know sword craft. Great work. Spider-man, the pain will teach you," said Wyn.
"Told ya' I didn't need to learn to use no blasted sword," said Wolverine swishing around his sword. "Still, I'm hav'n fun."
He wacked Spider-man with another attack.
"We were on a break!"
Spider-man grabbed the wooden sword out of Logan's hands and moved to snap it.
"Woah now! Easy man!" said Boksee.
Spider-man realized what he was doing and threw down the sword.
"I hate these things," he grumbled walking away.
Wyn chuckled.
"Boksee why don't you keep running drills with Wolverine? Spider-man, come work with me. We'll work on your stances some more."
"Ok," he sulked.
Sometime later the group came to a stop.
"Excellent work men," declared Wyn. "Wolverine, you may already be a proper swordsman but practice never hurt. Spider-man… you made a lot of progress."
Wolverine just laughed at their ignorance.
Spider-man slugged him.
"Son of a -," he cried grabbing his bicep.
"Alright enough sword play," said Boksee. "Time for you men to take a turn under my tutelage.
The pair now stood before Boksee. All four adventurers were holding a bow and a quiver of arrows. A target had been set up at the far end of the lush field. Someone's goat had wandered in and was nipping at it.
"Bugger off you hooved devil!" said Boksee throwing a rock at it.
As it scampered off, she turned back to the men.
"Now, the bow is the essential long-range weapon," said Boksee. "It shoots farther, and aims straighter than any other devised. Unless you're a magic user, every adventurer should be able to let loose an arrow."
"Even I know how to use a bow in a pinch," said Wyn.
"Spider-man," said Boksee. "It will be especially important for you to learn. After all, a ranger is practically defined by their bow skills."
"What's that have to do with anything?" asked Wolverine.
"Yah, what does that have to do with anything" asked Wyn.
"I was thinking," said Boksee. "Spider-man doesn't have a class just because he hasn't picked one yet. He's new to adventuring. With his acrobatics and the way he can silently glide across the tree tops like the most elegant of elf, I think there's no doubt he should be a ranger."
"Huh?" asked Spider-man.
"That's ridiculous," said Wyn.
"Agreed," said Logan. "Kid hates the woods."
"No," said Wyn. "It's ridiculous because Spider-man clearly has very developed skills already. You can't be as skilled in combat as he is without having a class," she paused. "…we just don't know what it is."
"Mm hm," said Boksee raising an eyebrow. "Well if he's so skilled already why are we training them today?"
Wyn flustered.
"Because you can always learn more! By the divine," she muttered.
Boksee snorted.
"Anyway," she began to instruct. "Using a bow isn't as easy as I make it look. You're going to need to use proper technique."
"Now what you've got there are pretty standard weight recurve bows, sized for men. So, start by putting your feet about shoulder length apart, left foot in front of the other. Hold your bow down like this," she said demonstrating. "Place your arrow like this. Now we're going to be shooting from the outside so, watch me. Using your core, back and shoulders pull the arrow, quickly line it up down your shaft and release."
She let her arrow fly. It flew in a lovely arc straight into a bullseye.
The group clapped appropriately.
Boksee blushed.
"Make sure you keep your arm straight during the release," she instructed. "Otherwise, you're aim is for naught. Alright, who wants to try first?"
Logan walked up.
Without waiting for instruction, he stopped, prepped his bow, pulled back the string, aimed and fired. His arrow flew straight through the air and lodged itself into the third ring of the target.
"Wow!" shouted Spider-man.
"Nice shot!" exclaimed Wyn.
"Way to go barbarian! Looks like you've got some bow skills already," said Boksee.
"I've been around the block," said Logan shrugging. "Work with him. He's the one that's going to need it."
"Oh," said Spider-man looking at the bow in his hand like it was some strange animal.
"Don't be scared junior ranger. I'll help you through it," teased Boksee coaxing him forward.
"The day I become a junior ranger is the day I go into real estate with the sinister six."
Boksee tried to get him to hold up the bow.
"Though, Kraven the Hunter has some nice property. Not gonna lie," he said distracted.
"You been to your villain's house?" asked Logan.
"Haven't you?"
"Would you concentrate you silly chattering magpie!"
Boksee finally got him to try to shoot an arrow.
"Ok, keep your wrist straight. This arm up. No, like this…" she muttered as she and Spider-man both struggled to get him in the right position.
"Stay right there! Now pull back, aim, release. It's gonna be fast. You can only pull a bow back for a quick second. The tension is incredibly strong."
"Ok, pull back," said Spider-man doing just that.
He stopped, bow fully drawn.
Boksee made a face.
"Um…release?" said Wyn.
"Huh? I'm aiming."
The entire bow was trembling from the tension but Spider-man was holding it back, fully drawn.
"How are you doing that?" asked Boksee astounded.
"He's really strong," said Wyn.
"That's not strong. That's inhuman. Blow me fuck'n down."
"Darl'n language," said Wolverine cheeky.
She punched him in the arm.
"Spider-man release!" she cried.
"What?"
Spider-man let go in surprise.
The arrow flew through the air and hit dead bullseye.
"WOW!" cried Boksee.
"Lucky shot!" said Wyn impressed.
Logan looked at the bullseye, then he looked at Spider-man, then he moaned.
"Ugh, luck had nothing to do with it," he groaned.
"Here, let's do it again," said Boksee.
After another session of Boksee and even Wyn this time trying to wrangle Spider-man into the proper technique, he let another arrow fly. It also landed a bullseye, a little lower than the first.
"How…" asked Wyn.
"I knew it! You're great with a bow! You're going to be a ranger, no doubt!" exclaimed Boksee.
"Uh yah, no thanks. I don't think bows are for me," said Spider-man giving it to her.
"What‽"
"I'm just good at aiming at stuff. I don't really want to use a bow. Too, uh, fatal."
"Well, you're at least going to learn," scolded Wyn. "We've already rented them. Logan, get back over here and practice." He had wandered off to mess with the goat.
Spider-man shot another arrow. This one flew up in the air. They heard a crash far away and someone shouting.
Spider-man went wide eyed and recoiled.
"You didn't have your arm straight that time," said Boksee.
"Good training today," said Wyn as they started packing up their gear.
"Didn't feel like much of a training session. We were only at it, what two, three hours?" asked Logan looking at the sun overhead.
"True, but the sisters would kill me if I had Spider-man out here too long."
"Ah, does precious baby need special care?" asked Logan throwing an arm around his shoulders.
"Buzz off," said Spider-man pushing him away.
"So, what are we going to do now?" he asked.
"I'm going to head back into town. I've got some errands to run," said Wyn walking past him.
"What about you?" he asked Boksee.
"I told ma I'd spend some time with her. See you boys around."
Boksee and Wyn headed their separate ways.
"Alright," said Spider-man left standing. "So, Wolvie, looks like we've got the rest of the day to ourselves. Do you want to…"
"See ya kid," said Logan throwing a hand and quickly walking away.
"…And I'll take that as a no."
Spider-man stood awkwardly as he was left in the empty field. The goat wandered up and started chewing on his pants leg.
Logan was making his way back towards town on one of the many dirt roads leading to Boar Bramble. A few cows from a nearby farm noticed him and gave him a long moo.
He took a deep breath and stretched.
Finally, a moment alone. He felt like he had been joined to his party by the hip these last few days, especially to Spider-man.
Logan shuttered at the nightmare scenario of actually being joined at the hip to the man.
Well, now what was he going to do? He could go clean up but a group bath didn't appeal to him. He could maybe grab a book, enjoy a quiet moment in the library. Fuck, maybe he'd just spend some coin and head down to the pub, strike up a conversation with some locals. Was it too early for that?
After traveling for some minutes, he finally made it back to town. As his feet hit the cobblestone of the main street, Logan watched the townsfolk. The villagers here were no different than a crowd in any town. Despite their odd, medieval-like clothing they wandered about, yelled, laughed, bought, bargained and went about their days just like the people of his world.
Back home, on his days off, he might work on one of his bikes, probably train some. Hrm.
As he continued down the street with no real direction, Logan watched as a couple, a man and a woman with long red hair walked past.
He wondered how home was doing. It wasn't so unusual for him to run off for days or weeks on end. The X-Men were used to it. Still, it really bothered him that he didn't remember what he was doing when he ended up over here in Narnia or whatever.
He smiled as he saw a gaggle of small children run up to the couple and quickly be embraced.
Well, he already did the training part. What else could he do today? He definitely wasn't working on any hogs here.
He stopped. A few villagers had to walk around him.
"Huh, hogs," he muttered.
And with that, he headed off.
Throwing open the heavy double doors, Wolverine entered the guild hall. It was fairly empty as most of the adventurers were out on quests. Glancing around the vacant room, he lumbered up to the back counter.
"Hey guild man," he said.
"Ugh," groaned Boksee. He was slumped over, his face in a particular shade of clammy pale. He put his hand over his eyes. "Oh Logan. A little quieter for me huh?"
Wolverine snorted.
"I thought we were drink'n ourselves stupid last night, not you," he said crossing his arms.
"I never turn down an opportunity to celebrate," groaned Boksee. "I'd take it as a compliment I drank to the two of you."
"Taken," said Logan gruffly. Over the scent of Boksee's hangover, he smelled a familiar pungent stench. He gave the air a sniff trying to locate it.
"What's that, oh no. What's that thing do'n here?"
He turned to see a familiar ham shaped worm with an ugly old man's face laying limp on the long counter.
"What? Logan Jr.?" asked Boksee pulling it over. "He's my new cleaner."
"Your what now?"
"In the wild, blotfathers' natural prey are mud crabs, that's why they like shiny things, and with how good the little fellow can climb he can suck the crabs right out of that blasted taxidermy."
"How the fuck do they keep gett'n up there‽" Logan snapped.
"AHhh! Keep your voice down please!"
"Uh, sorry. Anyway, guild man. I gotta question. Can adventurers take solo quests even if they're in a party?"
"Sure."
"Fantastic," he genuinely growled.
"Your party might think it's rude though," called Boksee as Logan made his way over to the quest wall.
"I don't think they'll mind."
He ripped down the paper he was looking for and slapped it down in front of Boksee. After giving it a quick read the guild master looked up and grinned.
"I knew you were a boar slayer."
Logan grinned back a fanged smile.
"Gonna go work on some hogs."
"Spider-man! By thunder son, I barely recognize you outside that costume," said Stablemaster Willard leaning on his cane.
"Well, that is the point of it."
Spider-man was standing in the rustic stables outside of town. Horses trotted and were lead about. Men cleaned out stalls, worked on horseshoes, and generally tended to the animals. He had decided to try his luck here…you know…since everyone had ditched him.
"Thanks for bringing our goat back," said Willard motioning to the goat from the field. It was nibbling happily on a piece of wooden fence.
"I didn't know she was yours. She just followed me here after she ate my pants."
Willard laughed.
"Anyway, teach you to ride?" asked the stablemaster. "Sure, we've always got a pupil or two running around here. Have to say, they're usually quite a bit younger than you though."
"Yah," said Spider-man putting a hand behind his head. "Horses are pretty rare where I'm from."
"Ah," said Willard. "So, this is the usual deal, an hour of work, an hour of learning. Sound fair?"
"Absolutely. Oh, also, can I see Butternut while I'm here?"
The stablemaster chuckled.
"I'd be insulted if you didn't. Well, I'll hand you over to Jorunn then. Jorunn!"
A studly man, older than Spider-man, much younger than Willard, made his way over.
"Son, this is Spider-man I was telling you about. Spider-man, this is my oldest, Jorunn."
"Oh," said Jorunn happily and shaking his hand. "You're one of the ones who felled the giant."
"Yah."
"He's going to be one of our pupils."
Jorunn made a face.
"Apparently where he's from, horses are a bit rare so he never learned to ride."
"Ah," said Jorunn as his dad answered his question before he had a chance to ask it. Then a grin crossed his face. He put his hands on his hips and laughed. "So, I've got a free man today, eh? A free man strong enough to fell a giant at that."
"You sure do, try not to scare him off."
"Friend, I'm going to work you hard," he said crossing his muscular arms. "Work hard, ride hard. I'll make a horseman out of you yet. You're going to need these," he said pulling out a pair of high boots and overalls.
Spider-man gave them a look as they were shoved into his arms.
"Suddenly, I realize I should have done this before the bath," he said.
The horsemen laughed.
Hunched in the bushes of the bright green Nehfar forest, claws prone, Wolverine spotted his prey.
A small sounder of wild boars, three of them, was foraging in the undergrowth.
Wolverine had smelled them a mile away.
They hadn't smelled him yet.
The good life of pillaging local farms had made them dull and lazy.
They hadn't even smelled the splattered blood of the half a dozen other boars on Wolverine's clothes, or the severed boar's tails in his belt to prove his kills.
Logan grinned a wicked, fanged smile. His blue eyes were vibrant with the adrenaline of the hunt.
Before the dumb animals had even noticed he was there, the mutant leapt from the bushes.
"One!" he shouted throwing his claws through one of the beasts. Blood shot up into the air and the two remaining boars squealed and fled.
He dashed after a second.
"Two!" he cried stabbing it through the shoulders.
The third was a distance away now but it wasn't moving fast enough. Wolverine sprinted after it, leaping and ducking through the underbrush. He was closing in. He raised his arm ready for a decapitation.
"THREE!" shouted a strange voice.
Suddenly an arrow flew through the air and lodged itself into the neck of the boar. Logan startled as the beast collapsed to the ground.
Furious at whoever had just stolen his kill, he whipped around.
A trio of adventurers was making its way through the woods toward him, a man and two women.
Logan stood to his full height and crossed his arms.
"Well, this outta be good," he growled.
"Hey, barbarian," said the obvious leader with a sneer. He was a ranger by the look of it, dark green cloak, bow in hand. "We've got a bone to pick with you."
"Fresh outa' bones. Move along slick."
"There is no way any adventurer can earn sapphire rank in a week," said a female spellcaster.
"Better count your days sweetheart," sneered Logan. "I earned it in four of 'em."
"There is no way!" shouted the other woman, a fighter. "You must have paid off the guild master. No one can go up that fast, especially not the world's smallest barbarian having a midlife crisis!"
"We all know you didn't come by that rank honestly. Stop making a mockery out of our guild," said the ranger.
Logan looked the three of them down.
"Well then," he said. "Since you all seem to have such a strong opinion, why don't we have a little test? I got noth'n better to do today. Name it bub," he said stabbing his finger into the chest of the ranger. "Anything you pick, I bet I can beat you at it."
The ranger laughed.
"Don't see why you're laugh'n bub. Looks like you and me are the same rank."
The man's face dropped into fury.
"I actually earned my rank!" he snapped.
"Just challenge him to archery and have it done with," said the spellcaster.
"Oh real brave huh?" said Wolverine. "A ranger challeng'n a barbarian to archery. I know I said name your game but I didn't realize you were going to be a dickless coward about it."
"How dare you-!" shouted the fighter.
"How about this," interrupted the spellcaster. "You claim to be a sapphire. Then you should have no problem taking on a sapphire ranked quest."
She gave the ranger a look and clearly something was communicated between them. The ranger agreed.
It was Logan's turn to laugh.
"After the shit I been through. Just name it."
Spider-man was sat atop a tan horse.
"Great mount," said Jorunn beside him. "You sprung up on that horse like a right cavalryman. Excited huh?"
"I heard its normal for a man my age to spring when excited."
"Alright, well this is ol' Dusty," said Jorunn giving the horse a pat. "He's a sturdy, steady old boy. He'll take good care of you."
"Because he's a gelding right?" asked Spider-man.
"That's right."
"Now. Riding. Keep your legs firm around him. Don't be yanking on his reins now. You wouldn't want someone yanking your mouth around would you? Lean back just a little. Give him a little kick in the sides to get him to go. Give him a gentle pull on the reins to get him to stop. Alright, you got all that?"
"Yep."
"Good man. Let's take him for a go."
With Jorunn still walking beside him, Spider-man eagerly gave the horse a double kick to its sides. With little enthusiasm, the old boy started walking into the paddock.
"Hah! Ha ha!" exclaimed Spider-man happily as he wobbled back and forth atop the slow horse.
"Good. Now take him left."
Spider-man tugged the reins leftward, and the horse moved in the right direction.
"Good," said Jorunn.
Spider-man breathed deeply.
An evil gleam shown in his eye.
"Hey, Dusty," he whispered to the horse. "You aren't old right? You don't have to take that. You've still got a fire in you. You wanna have some fun?"
The horse's ear twitched.
"I'll take that as a yes."
"Now let's take him wide around the paddock," said Jorunn.
Ignoring him, Spider-man mimicked what he had seen on T.V. He cracked the reins, leaned in deep, and shouted.
"H'ya!"
The horse took off in a gallop.
"WOAH!" shouted Jorunn.
"HA HA! That a boy Dusty!" cried Spider-man.
Spider-man sped through the paddock like a seasoned jockey. He was up on the balls of his feet, hunched flat to the horse's back as it galloped faster and faster. Horses, and stables and stable workers, much to their surprise were passed by in a shaky blur.
Spider-man grinned from ear to ear as Dusty's hair whipped in his face. He'd never really admit it to anyone, but he had always dreamed of riding a horse!
"Woah! Woah!" shouted a faraway voice.
Dusty trotted to a stop and turned.
"Hey, what'd you stop for?"
There was a long high-pitched whistle and, outside of Spider-man's control, the horse calmly walked his way back to a waiting stablemaster Willard.
"Well, someone was feeling his oats," said the stablemaster giving the horse a pat on the neck. "I haven't seen old Dusty move like that in years. Must'a felt your energy you cocky little shit," he said to Spider-man. Then he laughed.
Jorunn came up running.
"What in blue blazes you think you're doing green horn!" he shouted angrily.
"Oh, the lad was just testing his legs," said Willard.
"I've whipped stable boys for less!"
"True, but he's a stable man. How much of you and your brother's nonsense do I have to deal with?"
"I'd whip my brothers too if you'd let me," he grumbled.
"Next time son, ask for permission," said Willard turning to him.
"Where's the fun in that?" asked Spider-man.
"Less fun perhaps, but less chance of you running someone over or breaking a horse leg."
"Oh," said Spider-man realizing what he had done. "I see. I'm sorry. I'll behave."
"You better!" shouted Jorunn. "You're mucking out three more stalls for that little stunt!"
"Ooh," said Spider-man.
Stable master Willard laughed.
Wolverine and the trio of adventurers were making their way through the fields of the northern agricultural area.
"There's been a sighting of a kelpie today at the fishery," said the spellcaster showing him a quest paper. "Our quest is to find it, and kill it."
"Straight forward enough," said Logan.
"You pull this off," said the ranger. "And I'll believe you actually earned that pendant around your neck. Kelpies are no joke."
"Like I really need your approval junior."
"Of course you should know all about that," said the fighter ignoring him. "Since you're a sapphire and all."
In not too long, they reached the fishery. It was a series of wooden buildings built along the deepest portion of the river. Men were out in boats with nets catching today's harvest.
"We'll wait here," said the adventurers.
"You ain't gonna watch?"
"We don't wanna risk us going soft and helping you out," said the fighter.
"Just bring us back something to prove your kill," said the spellcaster.
"If you don't come back, well, we know what happened," said the ranger with a sneer.
Logan shrugged and without a word headed off toward the river.
"What, they gonna wait around all night if I don't come back?" he thought. "Bunch of morons here."
He sighed and started to consider he might have made a mistake. It was going to be a lot less fun without an audience. Oh, well. Maybe he'd still get a good look when he wrecked their cocky little egos.
Heading down the path he came to the first group of fishermen.
"Hey!" he called to them.
They turned to him in their boat.
"What‽"
"I'm look'n for a kelpie!"
"Oh, thank the divine!" shouted a fisherman.
"We spotted it there, up that creek!" shouted another.
"It's already nearly drowned four men!"
"On it!" shouted Logan.
With that, he turned and followed the men's instructions.
"Kelpie, kelpie," he thought as he made his way from the river up the creek. "I know what that is. That's another one of those evil river horses."
He pushed his way through some thick, leafy branches.
"Hey, didn't tuts mistake that näcken for a kelpie? What's with this place and evil horses? Heh, wouldn't it be someth'n if this one was…"
Suddenly Logan spotted it. A familiar, a very familiar white horse stood by the shallow water.
Logan's jaw actually dropped open.
"You gotta be…" Logan thought.
"Minty!" he shouted out loud
The horse whipped around, saw him, then threw its head back and let out a loud neigh.
Suddenly a naked man with long mint hair was standing before him.
"You‽ Again‽ Seriously‽" he shouted. "Wait, what did you just call me?"
"Shit," snarled Logan at himself under his breath.
He was gonna kill Spider-man when he saw him. Now he had to save face for a river horse.
"Minty bub. 'Cause of the hair, ya know," he said closing the distance between them.
The näcken raised an eyebrow at him.
"Anyway…What do you want?" snapped Minty crossing his arms.
"Well, what I'd want is for you to stop flopp'n your Johnson in my face."
"I don't know what that is."
"But what I need is to ask ya, you ain't hunt'n humans here are ya?"
"You know I am."
"I can't let you do that bub."
"And how are you going to stop- hey!"
Logan lunged at him, claws stabbing at the air. The näcken dodged. He spun on a heel and just barely avoided the blades. Logan lunged at him again. The näcken flung himself on all fours and landed in the shape of a horse. He bucked and tried to gallop away.
Logan dodged and landed a slice on the horse's thigh.
It let out a neigh and stumbled as it landed. The näcken transformed back into a man clutching his bloody leg.
"AH! You stupid, ugly, oafish, son of a whoring bitch!"
Logan grabbed him by his long hair and yanked his head back.
"You wanna run that by me again?" he growled with a grin.
"Rot at the bottom of the river."
Logan held his claws to the näcken's neck.
Minty went silent.
"Now, that's better. Are we gonna play nice or are we gonna have a problem?"
"What do you want me to do?" asked Minty exasperated.
"I want you to stop hunt'n humans, or dwarves and halflings…people!"
"Oh yah," he snarled sarcastically. "What if I asked you not to eat?"
"Seriously? You gotta be able to eat someth'n else."
"I drain life force."
"And why can't you eat from animals?"
"Why can't you eat a rock?" mocked Minty.
"Hrm," said Logan.
"Welp, looks like I'm just gonna have to kill ya' then bub."
Logan reared up to decapitate him.
"No no no no!"
"Well then, we're gonna have to work someth'n out then ain't we? Look, life force, is it someth'n people regenerate or do we only have so much?"
"You regenerate it of course."
"Great. Then why don't you just take it from people little at a time instead of kill'n 'em?"
"Because why would I?"
"'Cause I'm gonna kill ya."
"And how do you know I'll keep my word?"
"Hrm. You're right. Better say your prayers," he said rearing up again.
"Wait wait wait! Fine! You win! I swear on my own name I will never kill a person again!"
"On your own name?" asked Logan. "What kind of swear is that?"
"The best swear I have! If anyone says my name I'll die."
"Alright, I see."
He relaxed his grip on the hair but didn't let go.
"Listen bub, and I mean really listen. There's a quest out for your kill so either you skip town or your gonna have to keep low enough that no one notices ya again."
"Wait, are you helping me?"
"I ain't such a bad guy right? Just keep your head down or more adventurers are gonna come hunt you down, and they won't be as friendly like as me."
"Alright. I'll try it your way man. I'll only feed a little at a time, and I'll do it without drawing attention to myself…somehow," said the näcken unenthusiastically.
"Good. Oh, there is one more thing. We gotta prove I killed ya."
Logan reared back to slice.
Making his way through the trees, Wolverine approached the trio of adventurers.
"That was fast," said the fighter. "Give up already?"
"Nope. Killed it."
He showed them a two-foot-long head of mint colored hair.
They all looked stunned.
"That fast?"
"No way," said the ranger. "Agna, examine it."
The spellcaster took it.
She chanted a spell and ran her hand over it.
"It's magical!" she said in disbelief.
She chanted something else and the hair transformed into a white horse's mane.
"It's real!"
"Well looks like I'm a sapphire rank after all," sneered Logan taking back the hair.
The trio looked at each other.
"Looks like it," said the ranger a little stunned.
"Thanks sapphire…," said the fighter. "Thanks, for doing our quest for us!"
The trio burst into laughter.
Logan scowled.
"Easiest money we've ever made! Just bruise an old man's ego and he'll do all the work for us!"
"See you around sapphire."
The trio turned and started making their way back towards the road.
Logan just sighed
"Looks like you were right Minty!" he shouted through the woods. "Have at 'em!"
From not too far off, the sound of violin started playing through the trees.
The trio looked concerned but almost instantly succumb to the glorious music. As they began to walk deeper into the woods Logan made his way back towards town.
Minty was pretty smart. He had caught on instantly that the group was in a win-win situation after he had told him what he needed his hair for. Logan got so caught up in his ego he accidentally got caught doi'n free labor. Oh well.
There was a shriek and scream from deep within the woods.
"Now," thought Logan ignoring it. "How about them boars."
Spider-man was making his way back towards town from the stables when he heard a child crying.
Following the sound, he found a wagon absolutely loaded with lumber stopped in the middle of the road.
Three kids, ranging from maybe five to fourteen were gathered around it. The cow that had been pulling it was collapsed on the ground.
The smallest girl was crying. The oldest boy was assessing the animal.
"Hey, are you guys ok?" asked Spider-man walking up.
"No sir," said the middle boy.
"What's wrong with Maybell?" cried the youngest girl.
"She's dead!" shouted the oldest boy.
"Calvert!" snapped the middle boy.
"It's true! It was probably living in that old barn that did her in! Shit!" he shouted kicking a rock.
"Um. Do you kids need some help?" asked Spider-man.
"We were supposed to get this haul back to the farm," said the middle boy. "Now we don't have a cow."
"Oh, is that all?
Spider-man reached down and gave the dead cow a pet.
"Sorry, old girl."
Then he pulled the yoke off its neck and put it around his waist.
With just a moment of struggle to get his momentum going, the super hero started pulling the loaded cart down the road.
The kids looked on amazed. Then they started shouting excitedly as they followed beside him.
"So," grunted Spider-man. "How much further to the farm?"
He was starting to get tired. Maybe pulling three tons worth of cargo on his medically mandated day off wasn't such a great idea.
"Faster!" shouted the little girl. She had somehow ended up on his shoulders kicking him like a horse.
Oh great, now he knew how he made Dusty feel.
"How are you so strong?" demanded the oldest boy.
"Oh, you know, drink my milk, eat my vegetables, don't do drugs," he panted.
"You're full of shit!"
"Kid. Your mom ever wash your mouth out?"
Was it too late to drop the cart and make a run for it?
"It's only one more mile. Thank you sir for helping us," said the middle boy.
Oh alright. For his sake, he was going to get this thing back for them.
"Faster!"
Breathing heavily, the farm finally came into view.
There were people shouting.
Spider-man went on edge.
This wasn't working shouting, happy shouting or even angry shouting. This was panicked shouting. He could recognize the sound anywhere.
"What's going on?" asked the middle boy.
The kids gasped.
"What?" snapped Spider-man.
"The barn!" cried the oldest boy.
"It's, it's not there!"
Spider-man dropped his yoke and bolted down the road.
The barn had collapsed.
The walls had fallen sideways bringing the entire structure down in a heap of jumbled wood.
People were swarming around it desperately trying to find a way in.
Spider-man ran up to a man pulling away at some rubble.
"Was anyone inside?" he exclaimed.
"Yes!" shouted the man. "My daughter! My daughter!" he screamed.
Spider-man quickly spotted a high window and threw himself inside.
He landed on a fallen support beam.
"Hello!" he shouted. "Hello can anyone hear me‽"
"HELP!" shouted a small desperate voice.
Spider-man leapt to the floor below and found a young girl pinned under a fallen loft.
"Help," she sobbed.
"It's alright. I'm going to get you out."
Spider-man took a quick second to assess the situation.
"Ok. When I lift this up I need you to run out quickly," he instructed.
"I…I can't feel my legs," she cried.
"Oh. Um, ok. It's ok."
Spider-man bent down and grabbed ahold of the fallen loft. With a shout of exertion, he lifted the massive wooden structure then twisted himself underneath it. He supported the weight of it with his back while he grabbed the girl, picking her up off the ground and curling her up tight in his arms.
He shouted and grunted from the effort as he forced himself back to his full height, his neck bent forward and the loft balanced on his shoulders.
"Alright, this is going to be a little hairy. Are you ready?" he grunted.
The girl shook her head in a sob.
"No, it's ok," panted Spider-man. "I'm gonna take care of everything. We're just gonna move ok?"
He was going to have to be fast, and man, it was probably going to hurt. Clutching the girl tight, Spider-man took a deep breath and braced himself for what he was about to do.
"Ready, on one, two…THREE!" he shouted.
Spider-man screamed as he sprinted forward, the entire weight of the loft scraping his shoulders as he pushed himself out from under it. What was left of the barn collapsed around them.
The farmer and his family were outside.
They could hear the stranger shouting from within, then the worst happened. What was left of the barn creaked then fell in on itself becoming nothing more than a pile of rubble.
They screamed.
The girl's father bolted forward and started desperately clawing away at the chunks of fallen building.
"Wait!" cried a man catching him. "Look!"
Shoving some large debris out of the way, Spider-man emerged, the girl carried in an arm.
Her family came running as Spider-man ran her over to the grass and put her down.
He tried to look her over.
She was scuffed and bruised with some bloody spots.
Spider-man carefully stretched out her legs in front of her.
"Sweetie, can you move your toes for me?" he asked.
She looked down at her feet.
Spider-man felt a pit drop into his stomach as her toes didn't move.
She started whimpering.
"It's gonna be ok," he said putting his hand to her shoulder. "It's gonna be ok."
Her parents were beside her.
"What's wrong? Are you ok?" asked the girl's mother grabbing her.
"She can't move her feet," said Spider-man quietly.
"We need to take her to the healers right away!"
The rest of the kids finally caught up. They were all shouting.
"The barn! It came down!"
"Jalea! Are you ok‽"
The youngest girl started sobbing.
The girl's father scooped up his wounded daughter in his arms and the two parents started running her down the road, not even waiting for any sort of transportation.
Spider-man was left standing as other parents and relatives came to collect and comfort the remaining children.
"Thank you," said a man walking up beside him.
"No problem," said Spider-man somberly. "I'm sorry I couldn't do more."
"I don't know what else you think you could have done adventurer."
"Right," he sighed. "Do you think the healers will be able to help?"
"What do you mean?"
"The sisters told me if something can't heal without them, it can't heal with them."
The man looked concerned.
"What was wrong with her?" he asked.
She couldn't move her toes.
The man made a pained face.
A handful of adventurers wandered back into the guild hall after a multiday quest. They'd have to wait though. The guild master was occupied with another member.
"One, two, three, four, five silver coins," said Boksee counting out Logan's payment. "For boars well slayed," he said putting them in his hand. "Did you have fun, lycanthrope?"
Wolverine stood before him, his hair thrown back in a furry mess and his new cloth shirt and trousers splattered in blood.
"I ain't a werewolf," he said grinning. "And I had loads."
"Sure you aren't, wink," said Boksee doing just that at him.
"By the way," said Logan. "A group of sapphires needed some help with a kelpie. I ended up doi'n the whole quest for 'em. I'm gonna need payment for this one too."
He pulled the quest paper from his belt and put it on the counter, along with Minty's mane.
"Blow me down. Those three needed help with that? That was the easiest sapphire quest on the wall. I'm going to have to seriously re-evaluate their ranking."
Logan laughed as he walked out of the guild hall.
"Well, that was a fun way to kill a few hours. Fun and profitable," he thought jingling his heavy coin sack.
They were going to need the cash if they were planning on staying at the inn every night. Sure, he hadn't actually killed the kelpie but then again there hadn't been a kelpie to kill. Can't blame him if the quest was invalid to begin with. He stopped it hadn't he?
Now where to? He could head down to the pub, but he didn't feel like socializ'n no more. He needed some place quiet.
Still bloody and in his laundry day clothes and not giving one fuck about it, Wolverine stepped into the library.
"Ah nice and quiet," he thought pleased. He took a deep breath enjoying the scent of real leather-bound parchment and handcrafted shelves.
"Can I check out the books?" he thought. "Take 'em somewhere real nice? Maybe find a tree. Somewhere kid can't find me," he chuckled.
Ignoring the few other patrons, and they happy to ignore him in return, Wolverine started perusing the shelves. What was he in the mood for? What did they even have? Sure is lucky they wrote in English. This was all in English right?
"Hey claws!" called a familiar voice too loud for a library.
Wolverine let out a sigh. And here he was hoping to get some time to himself.
"Hey ya tuts," he said turning and spotting her across the way. "Long time no see. A whole four hours."
She was sat at a table surrounded by a fortress of opened and stacked books.
"Great timing," she said, her face buried in a tome and missing his sarcasm. "Could you pass me…uh…just go ahead and pass me the rest of that bottom shelf there," she said pointing.
Logan added the last of the tomes from the poor bookshelf to her stacks.
"Ya seem…engaged," he said raising an eyebrow.
"I'm researching this amulet we found in Ashen yesterday."
"Oh yah. Find anything?"
She slammed her book closed.
"Nothing," she sighed.
"I've gone through every book that has so much as a rune in it and I haven't identified any symbols that match."
"What's it even matter?" asked Logan.
"I guess it doesn't but I hate a mystery. Between this symbol and Spider-man's class I feel absolutely at my wit's end."
"Hrm," grumbled Logan.
He looked longingly at a promising bookcase.
He turned back to Wyn.
"Can I see it?"
"Sure," she said handing over the amulet.
He turned it around in his hand.
"Know what kind of metal this is?"
"What?" Wyn asked.
"The metal. It ain't steel, or iron, or anything I recognize off the top of my head. Could the metal maybe be a clue or someth'n?"
"Logan!" she said excited. "You're a genius. I was so focused on the symbol I missed other clues. Yes, you're right. I don't recognize the metal. I should take this to the blacksmith. He might know. Thank you!" she declared clonking loudly out of the library.
"Paladin!" shouted the librarian running behind her. "I told you! Three books off the shelf at a time! Three!"
Logan chuckled.
"Hey, book girl," he said to the librarian. She turned to him and went wide eyed at his bloody clothing.
"So, can I check out a book?"
Walking through a residential area, Spider-man held his clean suit up to the light. The shoulder was torn and there were a few odd rips throughout it.
"Man, I don't even remember where these came from," he said sourly looking at the smaller tears.
After the fiasco at the barn, he had decided to check to see if his and Logan's clothes were done at the launder. They were, but man, they were in some sorry shapes.
He was going to need to do some repairs.
"Now, where does one buy thread in Boar Bramble?" he thought out loud as a few villagers walked past him. "Or needles for that matter?"
He passed by a few women traveling the road.
"I could just ask someone," he thought, side eyeing them. "But that feels stupid. Maybe I could find Wyn or Boksee, they'd know and not judge me."
"Well fancy running into you again Spider-man."
He turned his attention back around to see the barkeep walking toward him.
"Oh hey," he said pleasantly. He felt like he was on pretty good terms with the man now. Nothing jump starts a relationship like sharing a six-foot wooden bath with someone.
"What are you doing out here?" asked Spider-man.
"I'm heading home. Forgot my keys. Wife's gonna have a field day with me. Have to go fetch them before I can open the pub for the day."
"I just got back from the laundress. Um, speaking of which. You know I'm not from around here. Where do you go to buy needles and thread? They do sell that here right?"
"Of course. You'll want to head on down to the seamstress. It's the building with the blue door on the left side of the main street."
"Thanks!"
Spider-man headed toward it.
"Blue door, why is that familiar?" he thought to himself.
It clicked as he spotted the right building.
"Oh yah. This is the building Wolvie and I slept behind the other day. Oof, hope the shop keeper isn't still terrified of me."
With a little jingle, Spider-man stepped through the door.
Not to his surprise, the place was small. The rustic little shop was very full but also rather tidy. There were clothes to be bought - much more elaborate ones than the cotton shirts and trousers he had gotten from the launder, - dresses, and tunics, and robes. One wall was completely covered in shelves full of fabrics, and a table off to the side had exactly what he was looking for, sewing supplies and a rainbow of threads.
"Jackpot."
No one was behind the counter but the door had been open and he heard voices in the back, so he took his time picking out his supplies.
After selecting the appropriate red, blue, and black threads, along with the equipment to put them to use, Spider-man stepped up to the counter. There was a little hand bell to ring. With some amusement, he picked it up and gave it a few good shakes.
The shop keep, the same woman he had seen with Wyn the other day, stepped out from the back room.
"Oh!" she cried. "Oh, it's, it's you," she said obviously trying to recompose herself.
"Yah. It's me. Uh, I feel like we had a bad start the other day. Uh, I'm Spider-man," he said holding out a hand.
"Funda," she said anxiously taking it. She was a small, mousy, older woman.
"So, I just wanted to buy these," he said placing his items on the counter.
"Oh," said Funda a little surprised. "Does the paladin sew?"
"Huh? Oh no. I just need to make some repairs," he said showing his suit folded on his arm.
"I see," said Funda, her eyes lighting up. "You're one of those city men aren't you? The tailoring type."
"Well…"
"Actually," he thought. "That's not wrong."
"Yah," he said instead. "I just do my own sewing."
"You know, you're a lot less creepy than I remember," she said looking him over. "Must be because you're outside of your cocoon."
"Thanks?"
She quickly registered his purchases and Spider-man paid the asked amount.
"Would you like to work on your repairs in here with us," she asked dropping his coins in her till and walking over to the back door. "We have the best lighting in Boar Bramble for needle work."
"Oh, um, that's alright I…"
She opened the door revealing an entire room of young women sewing away. They looked up at him and looked happily surprised.
Spider-man's eyes went wide. A smile spread across his face.
"On second thought, I'd love to."
The seamstress practically pulled him into the backroom.
Finding a handsome tree a bit out of the way, Wolverine sat down to enjoy his book.
"Ah, The Fruit of Twenty-Two Summer Nights."
Of course, it didn't have a summary on the back like modern books, but a scan through of its pages made it seem like it was an extra sappy romance with protagonists that were no doubt hopeless idiots but horney as fuck.
He leaned against the solid trunk, a slightly cool breeze on the wind as evening set in on the warm day.
"Yah," he thought. "This is the kind of garbage I'm in the mood for."
With a contented sigh, Logan opened his book.
"Adventurer, adventurer," called an unfamiliar voice.
"Just my luck," he thought.
With a scowl, he looked up and had to do a double take. A horrid, haggard old man was shambling toward him. He was hunched over nearly to the ground. One side of his face was covered in scars and an eye wouldn't open.
"Adventurer," he exclaimed in a crackling voice finally reaching him.
"Name's Wolverine."
"Adventurer," he repeated. "Are you the new-comer with the blades? The werewolf that can track any animal by its scent?"
"I ain't no blasted werewolf, but yah. That's me."
"I need you to help me this instant!"
"With?..."
"A thief!" snapped the old man. "A thief has stolen my entire brood of noxious toads!"
"Someone stole your frogs? Bub, sounds like you're try'n to put in a quest."
"Oh come on."
"I'm an adventurer now," said Logan closing his book. "And adventurer's work for pay. What are your frogs worth to ya?"
"My apothecary barely breaks even as is! You really expect me to pay to get back what is rightfully mine?"
"You're the apothecary guy eh? Alright, I think we can work someth'n out," said Logan standing. "I'll find your toads but it's gonna cost you."
Logan was given the rare privilege of being taken into the backroom of the apothecary. It was filled with loose books and stacks of papers, hanging herbs, caged and tanked animals, bubbling beakers and smoking distilleries. Behind all the clutter, large windows overlooked an overflowing and overgrowing garden of medicinal plants.
The apothecarist shambled through his hoard and motioned to an unremarkable crate.
"They were right here adventurer. This is where I breed my toads."
Logan looked down into the empty cage with skepticism. Didn't look like noth'n one would keep an animal in.
"And you're sure they didn't just escape?"
"Absolutely not! What do you take me for‽ I keep all ingredients under strict lock and key!"
"Uh huh. Wait, are these frogs dead or alive then?"
"They're alive of course! And they are toads you hairy troll!"
"Listen bub," snarled Logan starting to lose his patience. I didn't come here to be insulted."
"No, you came here to extort a quick coin out of a desperate old man. Just do your job would you."
Logan growled.
He turned away from him before he did something he'd regret and took a long sniff of the cage.
"Well, what'a ya know," he said surprised. "There was someone else here. Maybe you ain't as crazy as you look old man."
He turned to him, a wicked snarl on his lips.
"Now then, my price. And for a miserable old bastard like you, pal, it's gonna be steep."
A beaker over a small fire screamed as it began to boil and bubble over.
"Absolutely not! Preposterous!" barked the apothecarist at Logan's request.
"Well, good luck find'n your frogs then," said Logan heading for the door.
"Wait! Fine. I'll do it," he said miserably. "You're lucky I barely give a skeever's ass about regulations these days. Now find my toads you insufferable oaf, and make it quick! An old man like me doesn't have the time to take things slow anymore!"
Wolverine walked back over to the crate, and after another long sniff, he started tracking down the scent.
"Thanks again ladies!" called Spider-man as he stepped out of the seamstress' door. He had his freshly mended suit folded on his arm. Even Logan's clothes had been spruced up. It had been crazy. He had done all the repairs himself but just barely. He practically had to keep the girls from fighting over his stuff. Who knew women could be so excited about sewing?
Spider-man wore a tired smile, pleased with himself, as he made his way down the main street of Boar Bramble. He yawned with a stretch. He was thinking about going to the inn and taking a nap. He was wiped out. He had the feeling he hadn't been taking it as easy today as he was supposed to.
As he walked through town, he casually watched the flocks of white birds gathering on the wooden roofs. They reminded him of the pigeons that he often shared his perches with back in New York. His thoughts began to wander.
How were they going to get home? Would they get home? He always got home, but how this time? He didn't even know how he had gotten here. Where would he even start? Logan seemed to be sure that those ruins in Ashen had something to do with it but whatever it had been, whatever it was, it wasn't there anymore.
Spider-man stopped and looked up. A few birds flew by under the fat, white clouds of the calm evening.
"He wondered how home was doing. He hoped everyone was alright. This wouldn't be the first time he had disappeared for days, weeks, months on end, but it didn't mean that his absence didn't hurt people's lives, including his own, every time it happened. He wondered how many times he had been declared missing at this point. He wondered how many times he had been assumed dead.
Spider-man sighed.
He'd get home. He always got home. Hope the city was still standing by the time he did.
"THIEF!"
Spider-man looked ahead.
The barkeep ran out of the pub shouting.
"What happened?" asked Spider-man dashing up to him.
"Some snot nose little punk just stole my entire till!"
"On it!"
Barely even thinking about something so routine as catching a thief, Spider-man shot a web line and yanked himself onto a roof. He landed in a squat in a flock of flying birds like a gargoyle and peered around.
"Ah ha!"
A teenage boy was sprinting at full speed. Spider-man saw him just as he headed into the woods.
Throwing another web line, the super hero flung himself in pursuit.
The boy had a huge lead on him, but he was already as good as caught.
Spider-man landed on the first tree branch of the woods and started leaping across the canopy behind him. He was really getting better at navigating trees. It definitely required a different skill set then web swinging. Instead of trusting his spider sense to aim web lines onto tall buildings, he had to trust his spider sense to gauge his jumps onto tree branches sturdy enough to carry his weight. He had to trust it to jump onto the branches at all.
As he sprinted above the forest, the boy came into view.
"I could just web him now," he thought watching him run and struggle through the underbrush. "But where's the fun in that?
The teenage boy, with his till of stolen coin, was finally sure he hadn't been followed. He trotted to a stop and caught his breath.
Following the subtle marks he and his friends had put on the trees, the boy made his way to their hang out. An old shack, overgrown, leaning to one side, and clearly abandoned some odd years ago came into view.
As the boy approached the dilapidated door, a voice called out.
"Wow, that sure looks like a heavy box."
The boy nearly jumped and whipped toward the sound.
A man, at least he thought it was a man, in the strangest red and blue clothing stepped into view on the roof.
"You wouldn't have happened to have stolen it now, would you?"
The boy was too flummoxed to even reply.
"Oh, don't have anything to say for yourself? I guess that's fair," said the man casually. "I mean, when you're caught you're caught. Any names you want to call me? Curses to shout?"
The boy just looked like he wanted to run away in terror and confusion.
"Man, you're no fun at all," complained Spider-man.
Leaping down behind him, Spider-man webbed his wrists and ankles together. The till, and the teenager dropped to the ground.
Spider-man picked it up.
"Well, I got some cardio in today at least, not that I really needed it," said Spider-man putting a hand to his head. "So, I guess I take you to like, a guard or something? Who even handles law breakers in Boar Bramble?"
"No! Please! Please don't tell my dad!" the boy shouted.
Suddenly the door to the old shack flew open.
Wolverine stepped out.
"Logan?" asked Spider-man.
"Are you fuck'n kidding me?" he asked.
"Uh what?" asked Spider-man utterly confused. "What, what are you doing here? What were you doing in there?"
A haggard man shambled out behind him.
"You!" the old man snapped at the boy then he noticed Spider-man. He did a double take then shook his head. "No matter! You! You little bastard!" he shouted at the teenager. "How dare you steal my noxious toads!"
"What is going on?" cried Spider-man.
"I was hunt'n down a frog thief," said Logan. "Found his hide out. What are you doi'n here?"
"I was chasing down a…uh thief thief. He robbed the bar."
"Did he now?" Logan approached the hog tied teenage. "Well son, looks like you've been a busy little burglar. You're in a whole heap of trouble."
"Didn't you hear us in there?" asked Spider-man.
"This old man wouldn't shut up look'n for his stupid frogs."
"Toads!"
"Well since you got him, take him in with us will you kid?" asked Logan.
Spider-man shrugged then threw the boy over his shoulder as the four entered the shack.
It was the medieval version of a sketchy teenage hang out if they had ever seen one.
Bottles of stolen booze littered the area. Hay and hides for lounging on covered the floor and Crude writings and drawings were on the walls.
"Alright kid. Where are the frogs?" asked Logan putting his hands to his hips.
"You can't tell my dad."
"Kid," he growled ejecting his claws.
"They're in the bag, under the table there!"
"AH HA!" declared the old man as he scampered off toward it.
"What made you want to steal some fuck'n frogs?" asked Logan.
"Probably to sell them on the black market," accused the old man. "AH HA!" he declared pulling up a burlap sack and verifying it was full of living toads.
"Nah," said Spider-man. "Some toad skin contains psychotoxins. I'm betting he just stole them so he and his friends could lick them."
"Oh, it's a drug thing," nodded Logan.
The kid made a face only a guilty teenager could.
"NO! He'll contaminate my fungus!" shouted the old man.
"Come on then," said Logan. "I got my frogs, you got your thief. Let's get outta here."
As the men made their way back through the woods, Spider-man piped up.
"Couldn't you just smell the toads in there?" he asked Logan.
"Couldn't smell shit in there. All I could smell is the stink of teenage boys."
"So dirty feet, crusty socks, and pot?"
"Pretty much. And booze. Little piss."
"Hm."
Logan leaned over and gave Spider-man a sniff.
"I smell someth'n on you though. Where you been today?" he asked cocking an eyebrow.
"The seamstress."
"I smell a dozen different gals on you."
"There were fourteen of them actually," he said grinning.
"You son of a bitch," said Logan matching his smile.
"You got into the backroom‽" cried the teenager over his shoulder.
"So, who are you?" asked Spider-man to the shambling old man.
"I'm Gustel the apothecarist of Boar Bramble! Who are you you brightly dressed buffoon?"
"Friendly fellow," said Spider-man.
"Ugh. Have you no shame whatsoever? I can see every shape of your body. Are you some sort of jester to be called upon for favor?"
"Uh…"
Logan laughed.
"Told you you dress like a slut."
"Is that what he just called me?"
"Well Gustel," said Logan. "Sorry to inform ya, but he's your new student."
"What?" asked Spider-man.
"HIM‽" cried Gustel.
"I told him I'd find his frogs but only if he'd be willing to give ya a lesson. Don't say I never did noth'n for ya."
"Are you serious," asked Spider-man stunned.
"Yah, for a miserable old geezer like him, couldn't think of a higher price."
"T-thanks!"
"Be at the shop at the crack of dawn!" snapped Gustel.
After dropping the teenage boy, the stolen till, and some testimony from Gustel and the barkeep to the constable, and after feeling some amount of sympathy for the poor dumb kid when it was discovered the constable was his dad, Logan and Spider-man headed toward the inn.
"So where'd you find them?" Logan overheard someone asking as they walked down the main street.
"By the fishery. Pretty sure they went to fight a kelpie but they couldn't handle it. It's a miracle they all survived."
"Are they going to be ok?"
"Oh yah. They'll be fine. Now their egos, that's another story.
Logan grinned.
Spider-man noticed a man in a workman's apron wheeling a freshly made wooden wheelchair toward the healers.
It was well into the evening, twilight was starting to fall, as they reached the inn. They had planned to have dinner there with Boksee and Wyn before heading in for the night.
Boksee was waiting for them by the door.
"Hey boys, ready to eat?" she asked.
"Starved," said Logan. "Where's tuts?"
"Don't know," said Boksee. "But we agreed to meet at sunset."
They waited until night fell in full and then some. Eventually Boksee spoke up.
"Alright, I'm getting some dinner. Ms. Paladin can catch up," she said heading inside.
"Sounds like a plan," said Logan following her.
Spider-man protested but gave in and followed as well.
The gang shuffled into the crowded dining room. It was small and packed, mostly with locals. People chatted and cheered, drinks clanked, forks and knives clattered against plates, and there was even a bard playing in the far corner.
The bar maiden made her way over to them as they took a table.
"What can I get for you lot?" she asked over the noise of happy diners.
"Whatcha got?" asked Logan.
"What else?" she said happily. "Pork."
Spider-man groaned.
"Yah. I'm just about sick of the stuff."
"We've also got some pottage over the fire."
"Yes, that, please," said Spider-man.
The bar maid chuckled.
"Pottage for three and three mead?"
"We've got a forth coming," said Boksee.
"Yah, and actually, what do you have that's non-alcoholic?" asked Spider-man.
"Well, you're just a little fuss pot aren't you?" teased the bar maid.
"I'm not a fuss pot."
"You're a fuss pot," said Logan not even looking in his direction.
"We've got a ginger tonic. Will that suffice?"
Spider-man nodded and looked away in a huff.
Boksee snickered.
"Change mine as well," said Logan. "Whatever the strongest stuff you got, I want two of 'em."
He flopped his coin pouch on the counter to pull out some money. It was twice as heavy as it had been this morning.
"Sure thing hon."
The bar maid took her leave.
"Where did you get so much money?" asked Spider-man shocked.
"Where else? I did some work today. What'd you do?"
"I…mucked out horses' stalls and pulled a wagon."
"For free?"
"Yah, for free," he said shamefully.
Logan snorted.
"What did I say? I told you it sounded like free labor."
Spider-man sighed.
Soon a pot of a thick stew was placed on the table and the adventurers were each given a wooden bowl, spoon, and their drink. Wyn's was left vacant.
"Should we wait for her?" asked Spider-man.
"Paladin should learn to be on time," said Boksee filling a bowl.
"Agreed," said Wolverine grabbing his.
Spider-man sighed but like before, quickly gave in.
"So, does this meet your exotic palette fuss pot?" asked Boksee as they tucked in.
"I have no idea what half these vegetables are, but yah, it's refreshing to not have a dead pig in my mouth."
"Why you gotta phrase things like that?" asked Logan.
"And that's coming from a guy who loves hot dogs."
"I ain't convinced hotdogs are actual meat."
"What's a hot dog?" asked Boksee.
Soon the meal was eaten with Wyn still nowhere in sight. Logan sat and listened to the room as Spider-man and Boksee talked about something he wasn't interested in.
"Oh, you already got your frock back?" Logan heard the barmaid asked Glenda, the innkeeper.
"Oh yes," said Glenda. "I heard Ol' Funda got the girls working hard today."
"How so?"
"She managed to bring a dashing young lad into the back with them. Those girls' sweet little fingers were moving like the wind, trying to get the privilege of patching that boy's clothes for him."
"Never did that for us," complained the barmaid.
Logan snorted under his breath.
Spider-man groaned.
"What's wrong with you?" asked Logan.
"I don't think I took it as easy as I was supposed to today. My head's killing me," he said putting a hand around his forehead.
"Yah. What part of being hit with a wooden sword and muck'n out a horse stall is take'n it easy?"
"Well, when you say it like that."
"Healing can take a lot out of you," said Boksee. "It drains your life force you know. Next time listen to the sisters you little fuss pot."
Spider-man just groaned again.
"Don't wait up," he said standing. "I think I'm just gonna turn in for the night."
"We'll tell tuts you couldn't be bothered to wait for her," said Wolverine waving.
"Why are you such a jerk?" asked Spider-man.
Wyn suddenly burst through the door and came clonking up to their table.
"Speak of the she-devil," said Boksee with cheek.
Wyn quickly shoved her way through the crowd and met their table.
"Men," declared Wyn triumphantly throwing down an envelope.
"We are going to Ries."
The end.