Perfect Agony

Anna didn't know if she had it in her to beg him to stay...not for her...not for their daughter...but for the part of his soul that felt dead now...one day he would wake up and be sorry he missed a chance to say goodbye. Still, she couldn't seem to stop herself from saying the words, she promised she would never say to him again. "Don't go," she whispered softly. "Please don't use Ethan as an excuse to check out on the world...not again."

"Is that what you think I'm doing," Robert asked her...pain and regret written all over his face?

"Isn't it...can you honestly look me in the face and say that this isn't about wanting to escape...wanting to forget that our daughter is no longer a part of this world...you can't...you can't just pretend that she's on a vacation Robert...you can run...but you can never avoid the quick sand...please...please don't leave me...I don't think I can do this without you."

He turned around to face her and Anna saw the tears...tears that matched her own...no matter what happened between them over the years, they had always loved their daughter beyond measure...and now she was gone. He reached for her as her body trembled...holding her tightly against him as they cried. "Never again Anna...Never again."

She knew the meaning behind his words and in the past she might have tried to rationalize or stop it...but now...now she needed it...part of what kept Robin alive was the love that created her. Part of what kept them from sinking was being able to hold on to something real...they held on to each other.

They never thought past the next minute...their grief kept them from making any life altering decisions. Still, there was a part of her that would always love him and a part of him that would always love her. "I almost lost you to cancer...and then we lost our daughter...how can any of this be real?"

He knew it wasn't a real question...she was struggling to find sense in the senseless. "I'm so sorry for all the time we wasted...for all the things we didn't get to do...things she didn't get to do...things were supposed to be different when I survived cancer."

"They still can be," she said, as she greedily grabbed his face and pressed her mouth to his...there had always been a chemical reaction when they touched...a longing they had never quite felt with anyone else...and when Robert felt her tongue slip inside his mouth and beg him for more...without having to say the words, he knew he would do anything to feel her once more.

"Anna," he whimpered, as she pulled his pants loose.

"Robert," she responded, feeling him tear her shirt off her body. They were still drenched from the rain outside but the storm was really raging inside their own hearts...burning with lust as they quickly, urgently, got each other naked beneath the fire that burned in the fireplace. Robert looked up into her eyes and smiled..."You always were beautiful...you still are."

"You always were a charmer...you still are."

They didn't need to mention that part of the attraction was to help them forget the pain...they still felt the familiar ache...She was digging her nails into his back as she held on to him for dear life...and he was kissing away all of her tears as he thrust himself deep inside her tight hole...It felt as good as they remembered...it felt like they had come home...

"I need you more then I ever thought it was possible to need someone," Anna admitted, as she lay nestled on Robert's chest, after the lovemaking had subsided.

"I need you too..."

They stayed that way for hours...holding each other until the fire fizzled...trying to block out the world and the memory of their daughters death...by making love until it was all they could feel. Somehow it gave them the strength to get through the agonizing months ahead...They would never simply get over her death...but together, they had somehow learned to survive it...maybe they had been meant to be all along...maybe this was Robin's way of giving them something to hold on to...something that would never burn out.

THE END