Reason To Stay
She must have tried on at least a hundred dresses in the course of the day but something was always wrong. Her feet were sore and her neck and shoulders were aching from the long, tortuous day but still she pressed on. The dress was elegant in nature…long, white and lacy…It would have been the kind of dress perfect for her in another life…If she had not already worn one so similar so many years ago.
A Different Man, A Different City…A lifetime of regrets.
"Are you sure you are marrying the right man," a familiar voice asks from behind her? She can see him in the three-way mirror…the same wistful eyes looking back at her as if they had a lifetime ahead of them.
He was supposed to be her man of honor at her wedding and yet he looks at her as if he was the one marrying her. Why does he do that…why does he have to look so damn good…
She turns around to face him and his eyes are sparkling with that familiar mischief she used to love so much…It is in the past Devane…Let it go.
"What kind of question is that Scorpio," she questions. He can sense the hint of challenge in her voice and he was never one to pass up one of her dares. His palm brushes against the side of her cheek as he looks at her... as he feels the slightest hint of electricity course through them.
"An honest one," he admits. "You were thinking about our wedding weren't you?"
How does he do that? How does he know exactly what is on her mind? Damn him…damn that impossible man.
"If your ego was any bigger, your head would swell."
"Then tell me I'm wrong…tell me you were not standing here thinking about the day we made those promises to each other…either one of those days…"
"Robert…"
"You are extraordinary Luv…why are you wasting your time with someone who makes you feel ordinary?"
He caresses her cheek and she can feel her heart beat faster with every touch. "Look at me Annie…just look at me…"
Does she have to? Does she really have to look into those beautiful eyes…eyes that always hold her captive?
He tilts her chin until she is facing him…his fingers brushing the stray hair away from her face. He can hear the sharp intake of her breath as his lips move across hers… Gentle, sweet and inviting at first…all the sensations of two old lovers exploring the familiar places they used to know by heart.
He steps back slightly when the need for air becomes a necessity and then he kisses her again…this time with an intensity he has not felt since the last time they were together. He can feel her lips part as his tongue slips into her mouth and the kiss deepens. She kisses him back…it is not his imagination…she wants him just as much as he wants her.
"I love you Anna Devane," he whispers against her hair as he kisses it. "Don't marry a man who doesn't make you feel alive…don't marry him Luv. You don't have to settle for anything less than someone who is in your blood and in your bones…someone ingrained in your soul…just like you and I."
"And I suppose you are going to tell me that I should marry you instead…"
"I didn't say it…you did."
"You didn't have to…it was implied...What the hell is wrong with you? Why can't you just let me be happy?"
"You are not happy Devane…and if you were honest with yourself than you would admit that he doesn't treat you right. "
"And who does? You?"
"At least I let you be yourself…I don't try to clip your wings. Where is your fire Luv. What happened to the woman you used to be…you are nobody's victim…why do you let him treat you like one?"
"It's my life Scorpio…I'm the one who gets to choose how I live it?"
"Are you really going to be happy playing Suzie Homemaker? I do not think you will be. You crave adventure…you thrive when you are living on the edge of danger…and you feel the most alive when you are caught up in some exotic caper that has your heart thumping out of your chest from the possibility of getting caught…having to think on your feet…kicking ass and taking names…"
"That was a lifetime ago Robert…"
"Not so long ago that you have forgotten how it feels…"
For a half a second, he watched her…His eyes searching the depths of her soul. She cast her eyes downward, as if she was trying to avoid the desire shining in his baby blues, and he presses her against the wall of the dressing room, her legs locking around his torso as he grips her ass in his hands. His mouth is hot on her own, his tongue dancing with hers as the kiss grows in intensity. She curls her fingers in his hair as her heart thumps wildly in her chest. When the kiss ends, he leans in closer, sucking on her earlobe for effect.
"Now tell me you can still marry another man…look at me and tell me you don't love me…That's the only way I'm walking away this time…I didn't fight for you far too many times…you can damn well bet I will fight for you now…"
Her hands tremble when she looks at him again…She doesn't know how he does it…how he manages to strip her of all her defenses… Damn him for making her love him… for still being in her blood…For feeling too damn good in her arms…still looking far too good…
"I don't…don't love you," she says. Her voice cracks and she knows she is not convincing but she has to try. He damn near killed her the last time they fell apart.
"Liar," he says.
Of course, he would see through all of her lies and half-truths…she never could get anything passed him and she hated him for it…well, almost hated him. It would be so much easier if she could make herself hate him…Because there were times when loving him hurt…hurt so bad she just wanted to die.
"You are such an impossible man Robert Scorpio…You hear me? Impossible."
He did not say anything. She was already running away from him. You can run Devane…you certainly cannot hide. We have not had our last rodeo.
She was standing in the moonlight, her silhouette visible even through the pelts of rain that fell down around her. She was beautiful. Even in her stillness, she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.
The wind is roaring around him, the leaves rustling beneath his shoes…Even the traffic rumbles and the rain still batters against him. He does not hear any of it. In those moments of frozen silence, all he can hear is the sound of hearts beating and the world ceasing to exist…Because to him, she is all there is.
She does not even blink when he comes to stand beside her. She simply stares out into the night sky as he lifts her up off the ground.
"It's okay Luv," he says. "I got you."
She wraps her arms around his neck as he carries her into the stables. She is too damn tired to fight it anymore. The storm will last well into the night. It was time to find some shelter and warmth.
He helps her up the ladder leading to a hayloft; the barrels of hay form a makeshift bed for the night. Robert rubs Anna's bare shoulders as she shivers.
"You really should get out of those wet clothes before you catch frostbite," he says.
"You're just trying to get me naked," she quips.
Though his eyes devoured her beauty, he did not agree or disagree. They both knew he did not have to.
"Why don't you put this on," he says, as he hands her a bag. "I'll go look for some blankets."
"Robert," she calls out and he turns around. Her eyes held that radiant glow of happiness he has not seen in years. It is all he can do not to sweep her into his arms immediately.
"Thank you," she whispers, and he knows she is not just thanking him for the privacy. This is what they do. This little dance of intimacy. She pushes him away and he pulls her closer. He can only hope that she will let her guard down enough for him to convince her that she belongs with him.
"You always did like me in Red," she says, when he returns.
He lays the blanket down on the hay as he looks at her.
"Enchanting as always," he says. He takes some candles out of his pocket and arranges them on a small table on the other side of the hayloft.
"You're so Romantic," she muses. "All that's missing is the music."
"We've got that too," he says. He pulls out his phone and pushes a few buttons…Before long there is a song that starts playing. Her eyes are welling with tears now.
"I remember that song," she states. "It's the song that…"
"We used to make love to," he finishes. "I know. Why do you think it is still on my phone?"
"Aren't you being a little presumptuous Scorpio…I never agreed to anything."
"You will," he says, and smiles. Damn him for still having that devilish smile and those piercing blue eyes. How can she resist him when he is still the most charming man she has ever met? He knows it too.
He steps closer to her, kissing one of her bare shoulders. "You are everything to me Luv. Why can't you see that? Why can't you see that I would give everything to be your anything?"
"Don't say that Robert. It is not fair. You shouldn't have to beg for anyone to love you."
"I'm not. I am just telling you what is in my heart. The first time I met you, you knocked the wind out of me."
"I did not."
"Yes you did. We were partners Devane…but I could not take my eyes off you. You challenged me…you amused me…you watched my back and you kept me on my toes. I have never met anyone like you…and no one else has ever had that kind of effect on me in my whole life…no one."
"Why do you have to do that huh? Why do you have to walk back into my life and rearrange everything? I was perfectly fine without you."
"Then why are you so tense Luv? You've got so many knots that I am surprised you can focus at all."
She closes her eyes when she feels his calloused fingers knead into her flesh…His hands expertly massaging her aching muscles. Why had she not noticed this before? How much she needed this. How good his hands felt on her body…
"Does your fiancé tell you how beautiful you are Annie? Does he cherish you just like this? You deserve that Luv…You deserve a man who will adore you every day…Does Finn do that…Does he treasure you?"
She wants to tell him that he is not affecting her…that yes; of course, Finn does…except she can't…because she cannot remember the last time he did anything like this for her….Finn does not think of the little things like that...not like Robert. Nobody was like Robert. It was a simple question with a simple answer…but nothing was ever simple between them.
"You deserve more than that Luv…you deserve to be cherished…let me cherish you."
She was about to say something about how wrong this was…how she was not free to give him what he wanted…except at the moment all of her reasons for not wanting him back suddenly seemed so far away. She can see him so clearly in her mind…the way he looked when she first laid eyes on him up until the moment she discovered that he was still alive. Why did she not fight for him then? Why didn't she throw her arms around him in gratitude instead of kicking him in the head,…he was her husband…a husband she grieved for…loved beyond reason for most of her life…
"I'm such an idiot," she finally says. "All this time I was trying to convince myself that we were right to not go down that road again…that there was too much water under the bridge…too much hurt and too much time gone by. What I should have been doing was running after you…telling you that it wasn't what I wanted and that I still think about what we had…that I miss it…God how I miss it. I miss you Robert. How did I not see this until right now? I love you…of course I love you…I am so sorry that I didn't take you back the moment that I found out that you were still alive…"
"You were understandably upset…"
"But I understood…Who better than me to understand? You protected Robin and me just as you always do…just as I tried to do for you when that monster took me away from you again…How could I ever make you feel guilty for that. I love you Robert Scorpio. I have loved you for as long as I can remember. Oh, I love you so much."
She throws her arms around his neck as he breathes in the scent of her lavender shampoo mixed with the rain. She smells so good…she smells like sin and seduction.
"Oh how I do love you Anna Devane," he says, his lips caressing her neck as he pulls her closer and closer. "God how I love you...How I adore you."
She smiles seductively as she looks at him; for the first time in a long time, she knows what she wants. She knows who she wants.
"You know the best thing about this negligee?"
"What's that luv?"
"It looks even better off of me?"
Her hair is shorter now but he still weaves his fingers through her dark locks, brushing the wisps of hair away from her face. He can feel her quiver as he caresses her neck with his lips, his hands gliding down her thighs.
"Are you sure," he whispers against her ear. "I need you to be sure."
She does not need words to convince him of her consent. She arches her hips until she is facing him…pushing him down onto the hay and straddling him as she reaches for his belt buckle.
"Does that answer your question," she challenges, tugging his pants down his legs.
"Perfectly," he gasps, as her fingers massage his massive erection.
"Oh God," he panted. "God that feels…"
"Yes," she questions, her eyes wide with longing.
She is on her knees now…her warm, wet lips closing around his engorged shaft. He is practically screaming her name now as his cum coats her throat. God he tastes good…better than she remembered…but then she had never given him a blowjob before. She will have to remember to do it again sometime. She likes it when he screams for her that way.
He pulls her into his lap, his hands moving under her negligee…his lips caressing her bare skin as he pulls her red teddy over her head.
"Dear God, you still take my breath away," he says.
There he goes again making her blush…is it showing.
His expert hands move across her breasts…massaging…caressing…touching.
He hears the sharp intake of her breath as his mouth closes around her nipples…kissing…sucking…bringing her to the edge of desire…
"Robert," she pants. "Oh God Robert."
He loves how she tastes…how she feels…and damn it; it still makes him giddy to hear his name on her lips that way. He has missed this…missed her…How the hell did they go this long without it?
"I need you Robert," she cries. "I need you now."
Her arms wrap around his neck as she pulls him in for a kiss…her tongue slipping inside his mouth as she presses all of her desire into him. He slips his leg between hers as he shifts her until she is lying underneath him.
"I love you Anna Devane," he whispers as he listens to her heart beating as rapidly as his.
"I love you too Robert Scorpio," she whimpered.
He pleads with her to look at him as he enters her; he wants to see the desire in her eyes as he does; she sees the same in his.
"Oh God," they gasped in unison as a wave of pleasure washes over them.
She digs her nails into his back as he continues to thrust into her repeatedly…her long legs locking around his torso as he brings them both over the edge of ecstasy. She collapses against him with her head on his chest, as they both try to calm their racing hearts and shallow breathing.
"Was it as good for you as it was for me," he questions.
"You have to ask, "She quipped.
"I don't know…maybe you should remind me."
"I can do that," she laughs, as she rolls on top of him and they spend the rest of the storm making love in the hayloft. How is it possible for her to be this deliriously happy? He brings out the woman in her…makes her completely insatiable. She never wants to lose this again…lose him again. She is finally home.
"I can't marry you Finn," Anna says, the next morning. She puts the ring in his palm and tries to walk away.
"That's it…you are just going to walk away. Don't you think I deserve an explanation for this?"
"I don't want to hurt you anymore than I already have," she insists.
She did not think of Finn even once when she was in Robert's arms. Is that not bad enough.
"The truth Anna…I want to hear you say it."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"Do you honestly think I don't know…you smell like him…you smell like sex…were you ever going to tell me that you were screwing your ex behind my back?"
"It's not like that Finn…and don't think you can stand here and insult me. I'm not going to put up with it."
"You cheated on me…don't you think that warrants some anger…"
"Of course it does…but not like this…do you want the truth or not?"
When he says nothing, she takes a deep breath and continues.
"The truth is that I was trying on wedding dresses when Robert showed up. He sensed something was off and he was right. My heart just was not into this wedding. How could I marry you when I was thinking about my wedding to him? I tried to fight it Finn. I did. But then he was telling me things that I have wanted to hear for years…he was fighting for me…"
"He was your man of honor for God's sake…some honor he turned out to have…"
"Don't you blame him…don't you dare…Robert Scorpio is a damn good man…"
"How touching…"
"I get that you are upset okay…I do…but don't you dare take your anger out on him. He is the one who spent years being tortured just so I could live…so Robin could live…and how did I repay that sacrifice…I left him…I kicked him in the head…you have no idea how much I regret that. I should have taken him back the moment I found out he was still alive. "
"So what you are saying is that you don't regret that you cheated on me…that you made a fool out of me…"
"I regret that we hurt you…but I don't regret that it happened. I will never regret loving him."
He was angry…so angry that he threw a decanter across the room and it shattered. "Get out," he screamed. "Just get the hell out."
She takes one more look at him and walks towards the door. "I am sorry that I could not be what you deserved…but let's be honest here…you were not what I deserved either. I did not deserve to be treated as some sort of consolation prize. I deserved to be cherished."
Of course, she would bring that up…Robert's words were ringing in her ear once again…damn it…damn him.
She closed the door behind her and smiled. She was finally free to be happy.
He opened the door of his apartment in a towel. Damn he looks good…It should be a crime that he still looks so damn sexy after all these years. She smiles when she sees the flowers on the table.
"Are those for me," she questions.
"I was going to send them to you but I didn't know where you were staying now."
"Hopefully with you," she says. "We've wasted so much time. I just want to be with you."
She steps into his apartment and he cups her face in his hand. "Does that mean you are my girl again?"
"It means I never stopped being your girl."
His eyes were dancing with unbridled passion as he took her into his arms and kissed her. Every time he looked at her, she could sense how much he wanted to undress her.
"I hope you haven't taken a shower yet Scorpio," she says, as she tugs his towel loose.
"What Shower," he asks, lifting her up off the ground.
She giggles as his lips claim hers and he carries her into the bathroom.
He kisses her under the faucet as they lean against the shower wall. "You going to help me clean up Scorpio?"
"Later," he says. "Much later."
Her legs curl around his torso when he lifts her up into his arms…gripping her bare ass as he kisses her. They make love under the faucet as their screams of pleasure echo throughout the room. Only Robert could do this to her...Only Robert could make her act like a lovesick teenager...she was perfectly fine with that.