Author's Note: I know this is jumping right into the story, but that is where my inspiration struck. Rest assured, there will be flashbacks throughout the story every now and again as we go forward. This shall take us from Prisoner of Azkaban through Deathly Hallows and beyond. Bear with me on updates, I am a mama to three and plan to attempt updating twice weekly. Let's pray ha!
"You wanted to see me, Professor Lupin?"
Even from the far back of the classroom, her words were louder than her knock. She was a bright and bubbly young witch. Remus turned on his heel behind his desk and looked up at her. He took a split second to take in her kind eyes, glistening much like his used to, and her soft and curly, chestnut hair. She wore her tattered Hufflepuff robes with pride and walked slowly toward the desk as he raised a hand to motion to her.
"Yes, Miss Whitticker, please have a seat."
He stood awkwardly before her as she obliged, clasping his hands together and ringing them around eachother once before forcing himself to sit opposite her, the large mahogany desk separating them. She breathed in deeply the smell of old books and Belgian chocolate.
"Are you alright, Professor?"
Her kind eyes shined at him once again and she smiled politely. Somehow, he managed a smile back.
"Yes, I'm sorry," he chose his words carefully. "I want to deliver this news as gentle as one can, is all."
He watched the color leave her face as her lips parted slightly.
"Oh, Merlin, I've failed my term paper, haven't I?" She shot up from her seated position and began pacing in a quickly induced panic across his floor, muttering to herself about surmounting to nothing in life.
"Emeline!"
She broke clean of her reverie and looked up into his eyes, realizing then her professor had her by both shoulders gently.
"You haven't failed anything."
Wheels turned in her brain like the innards of a clock and it shown plainly on her face.
"Well, what have you to tell me then, Professor?"
She watched him swallow hard before slowly lowering his hands and standing over her, looking down with his usual cozy demeanor. But the love she felt in his gaze was different than even his usual teaching spirit.
"Emeline, you're my daughter."
There it was: her clockwork turning again, however this time it took much longer to tick. She stared up at him blankly as she grasped to register what he'd said. Hands stuffed in his pockets, he kept his gaze unwavering, although turning a bit concerned as he searched her face for any sliver of impending comment.
"Em-"
"-your daughter?"
His heart broke at the unusual meekness in her voice.
"Yes."
It only took a moment longer for her to complete her absorption of this earth-shaking admission. Before he could have a chance to process, she pulled him into a close hug and began to cry quietly against his worn, tweed coat.
"I always dreamed you existed."
Her immediate proximity and sharing of dreams had him taken aback, but he tapped into instincts he always dreamed he had if they were admitting hopes, and rested his hand on the back of her head, pulling her closer.
"I'm so sorry you've lived in that for so long."
She released her grip and looked up now with a furrow in her brow.
"Why didn't you come to me sooner?"
He'd never seen hurt or anger flash across her face before, so he wasn't sure which it was. But guilt enveloped him like a suffocating blanket.
"Why don't we sit again?"
He waited for her to take a seat, pinching the bridge of his nose and breathing in deeply before taking his own again.
"I imagine that you're aware that your grandparents.. weren't my largest supporters," he spoke cautiously, the last thing he'd desire to do was insult the only family she'd grown up with aside from her mother. "They made that very quickly known to your mother and I."
"But," she looked torn but didn't break her stare. "My grandparents never spoke of you; not any father for that matter."
Remus lifted his head in a half-nod of understanding and leaned back in his chair. He supposed that did make sense now, however it was never a theory he had entertained. In fact, there was only one he subscribed to.
"I thought for sure they'd make it known to you as well, the ultimatum that stood."
If Remus expected any response from her, it certainly wasn't a laugh. Yet here Emeline was before him: that precious smile she'd always worn turned all the way up into a chuckle.
"Forgive me - what ultimatum would have grounds to keep me from my own father? Murdered someone, have you?"
The air grew thick, though Remus knew he was the only one who could feel it. He'd pondered this exact moment all of his life since learning he'd be a father. Naturally, he never could've dreamed he'd be separated from his child for thirteen years. However, he did often wonder how he or she would take to the news when they were old enough to comprehend it.
Exactly what he was; exactly how dangerous he was.
She wore a new expression now. He could recognize this one, she wore it in class often: she was hanging on his every word.
"Emeline, I'm not sure I have the words for this-"
"-you certainly came out with this announcement easily enough and it is the biggest news of my life. What could hold more weight than that?"
He watched her quietly. How could he gain her and lose her in the same few moments? All that pressed him on was simply the fact that he knew he must. He had to make sense of this for her.
"Your grandparents had every reason to forbid your mother and you from allowing my involvement."
"What did you do?" Her words were a bit more forceful now; perhaps they were tinged with slight hesitation. Nonetheless, it was now or never.
"It was never what I did but rather, what I am."
Emeline's face paled into an almost white that was so solemn Remus struggled to accept it was the same student he'd come to know this year.
"You don't need to continue, Professor. My grandparents only ever hated one thing in this world." Her voice sounded bitter, an emotion he'd never seen from her whilst teaching.
"Werewolves." He whispered, nodding.
She shook her head frantically and held up her hand.
"Please. Don't."
He quieted and sat back immediately, feeling the weight of what he was sure being before the Wizengamot would feel like. He pleaded his case with the look he cast her, awaiting her next response for what seemed a decade. As he waited, he took a moment to absorb the gravity of the situation in front of him. Despite knowing all along that Emeline was his sole reason for returning to Hogwarts and he couldn't have helped the ultimatum he was given all those years ago, he felt like a fraud. How had he really let her grow up without him? In the silence, he was able to take in her gentlest quirks; the way she had found an object to fixate on already much like he used to as she toyed with the fraying end of her cloak. When they were finally in an entirely new millennia by the time she spoke, she took him by surprise.
"I said my grandparents hated them, not that I do." Her facial expression softened as he watched her find her own footing and belief right in front of him. She didn't look as pale now, he noted.
"Em," he reached his hand out to her across the desk, remembering momentarily when her newborn fingers clutched around his for the first and only time. He pulled back when she failed to respond and it occurred to him just how much of a stranger he was to her. "Forgive me. I don't know how to make this better but it appears I certainly know how to make it worse. I appreciate your kindness but you need not pretend on my account and I only hope to navigate this as you see fit. However on that note, I have one more necessity to discuss."
She nodded at his return to teacher monologue. "I've never found reason in my life to lie and I won't start now, Professor. Please, continue."
"This entire discussion is emotionally taxing, I'm sure you'd agree. I've always only wanted what's best for you and I have missed you from the day I had to say goodbye, Emeline. I know you may not believe that right now, but I swear to Merlin not a day has past I haven't thought of you. Even the days of the moon. In wishing to shield you any further confusion or pain, I've had to be convinced of this by Dumbledore. It seems he disagrees that there is any reason for our family to remain separate now… in light of recent events." At his last word, his voice broke again out of the confines of teacher. She saw the tears stinging to be free from his eyes and swallowed thickly.
Emeline had been wondering where she'd call home now that her mother was gone, following her grandfather who held out for quite some time after her grandmother. It had all happened so quickly with her mother, that she agreed to return to Hogwarts for third year in a mourning haze. Dumbledore promised her he would have her home life sorted and offer her the comfort she desperately needed to pull through this insurmountable loss. Emeline couldn't have possibly fathomed that the details were so pristinely ironed out behind closed doors, though. She has given up the dream of a father a long time ago. It almost stung, being left out in the dark until now. Why wouldn't Professor Lupin have collected her immediately? Why the 'welcome back' and 'meet your new Professor' charade? Nevertheless, she shook her head to release the emotions bubbling inside her. She was an easy crier and her eyes looked similar to her father's at present, though she was desperately teetering on the chasm between composure and floodgates at the mention of her mother and at the dawning of this life changing news.
"I have so many questions." She choked out.
He couldn't avoid it any longer. He stood swiftly and was relieved that she did as well, sobbing against his chest as he came in to hug her. It felt as though she was weeping years of heartache from her body and at that moment she couldn't have cared who was in the room. She clung to him tightly; the only family she had left.
"I will spend my life answering your questions, Emeline."
Author's Note: There it is – our first chapter! I have such an idea for this story and so hope you all would enjoy following along. If fanfiction still has active readers who are enjoying this, please give me a favorite or review – it is so encouraging to know I am not alone in the tumbleweeds out here writing Remus for over fifteen years now, haha!