Cute, beady eyes shifted back and forth to gauge their surroundings. A wet little nose scrunched up with determination. Finally, whiskers twitched with anticipation before tiny paws scampered across the open floor.

Edmund Esquire the Third and a Half, or "Eddy" as some tourists liked to call him, tip-toed between exhibits in the Seriously Cool Museum of Artifacts and Stuff with satisfied glee. Hours ago, the museum shut down, and all operatives made to head home immediately. As staff and tourists alike filtered out the door, no doubt confused, the little hamster saw his chance to strike while the iron was hot.

It was the heist of the decade, Edmund Esquire the Third and a Half (or Eddy, that's fine too) thought to himself as he clutched a can of limited edition Grapey Gush X-Treme soda in his dexterous paws. With everyone so thrown for a loop and exiting in a hurry, no one would catch him making his way into the Soda Prohibition exhibit to swipe the ultimate prize.

The other hamsters called him crazy—nay, insane even! It was impossible to pull off such a theft, they squeaked. Only one can was left in the entire tri-state area after its limited run, and Numbuh One o' One had it under tight lock and key. To make off with such a coveted prize and taste its one-of-kind carbonated nectar was unpossible!

Never let it be said that Edmund Esquire the Third and a Half backed down from a challenge.

So caught up in his feats of grandeur, and envisioning the rich sugary soda on his taste buds, Edmund Esquire the—we're just gonna call him Eddy from here on, okay?—Eddy failed to notice the wet floor sign as he cut through the renovated ear-wax statue exhibit. His hubris cost him, as he slipped on a stray tile. The hamster fell on his furry stomach and looked up as his prize rolled across the floor.

Eddy froze. He was not as alone as he thought. Three humans—teenagers, he panicked—were facing off in the center of the exhibit. The two on the left appeared to be together, a bald boy who Eddy could tell definitely needed a bath, and a girl with curly black hair and an expression of steel under her sunglasses. Across from them was a lanky boy in a lab coat with a self-serving smirk and frizzy orange hair. He smelled...odd, but Eddy was more concerned with the clunky device the boy held.

A tense silence filled the air, and Eddy was paralyzed with confusion and a healthy dose of fear. The soda can rolled through that tension. The teenagers blinked, looking to take in Eddy in all his caught-red-handed glory.

Shifting his eyes, Eddy slowly stood on his hind legs, raised his front paws peacefully, then awkwardly shuffled back into the shadows.

Nigel raised a brow as the hamster retreated, but shook it off as he returned his focus on Numbuh Seven-Four-point-Two-Three-Nine in front of him. "You know, just once, I'd like something on this crazy mission to be straightforward."

"Come now, Numbuh 1, where's your sense of whimsy?" Seventy-Four-point-Two-Three-Nine asked. "You're a Kids Next Door operative. A galactic level one, at that! What fun is an assignment without a few rouge variables?"

"Cut the crud, Dave," Abby said with an edge to her voice. Any surprise the scientist had on them had passed and her blaster was leveled nicely with his face. "You went through all the trouble of setting us up in a trap, the least you could do is not waste our time."

"Trap is such a strong word, but you're right. It'd be remiss to drag this on longer than it needs to," Dave conceded. His bravado dimmed as he used both hands to cradle the KNDNA Tracker to his chest; his last lifeline out of his debacle. He centered his gaze on Nigel before saying, "But why don't we just talk, okay? We can be civil and discuss things. I'm sure you, out of everyone, are exhausted from all the needless skulduggery."

If Dave's words were affecting Nigel, he didn't let it show. "Then talk."

"Right, yes," Dave said, albeit with hesitance as his fingers tightly gripped the device. "It's quite simple. You need the KNDNA Tracker to find your target, and I need some … insurance."

"Insurance?" Nigel repeated incredulously. "Just hand over the tracker, Numbuh 74.239. With it, we can locate Rachel, stop her, and secure the evidence before things get worse. Like you said, simple as that. It all can finally be over."

"Yes, all over." A pained expression broke out across Dave's face as he held the 2x4 tech closer. "That's what I'm worried about…how everything will end."

While Nigel was taken aback by Dave's somber tone a thoughtful look fell over Abby's face. Her eyes slowly widened as she put two and two together, and suddenly, the sneer she wore so casually these days returned, and the only reason she didn't open fire was out of concern of damaging the device that would lead her to who she truly wanted. "It was you," she hissed, "you're the one who gave that bitch the evidence on the galactic KND!"

Nigel flinched at the pure anger rolling off Abby in waves. "N-Numbuh 5-!"

"How could Numbuh 5 have been so stupid?" Abby went on, ignoring her friend. "You been actin' so damn weird these past few months, weirder than normal for a nerd like you! Tellin' us, 'Oh, I got it! I'll track down the leak in no time,' when you were just buyin' time to save your own ass! Numbuh 5 should've known better! Dammit!"

While her temper ran hotter than he expected, Nigel could not ignore the obvious right in front of him. When Abby took a breath, Nigel used the brief second to wrest back control of the conversation. "It's true, isn't it, 74.239? Why would you—"

"I didn't have a choice, ok!?" Dave shouted, and Nigel grunted at being interrupted. Again. "You think I just woke up one day and went, 'gee willikers, wouldn't it be fun to expose the GKND and frame the Important Ones?' You, of all people, know what those jerkwads are like and what they can do!"

"Yet you gave Rachel evidence anyway?"

"She blackmailed me!"

"Oh, give me a big fat break," Abby said with the heaviest roll of her eyes. "What was she gonna do? Tell everyone how ya still wet the bed? Leak your weird Yipper fanfic to the TND higher-ups? Oh wait, let me guess, she was gonna tell us how you secretly look up Rainbow Moneky rule 34?"

"...Okay, first of all: ewwwww. Second: that's none of your concern!" Dave tightly gripped the KNDNA Tracker and hoisted it high. Despite themselves, Nigel and Abby tensed and Dave grinned. "The point is, you need this to find her or we're all going down. You don't have the luxury of time, so either you comply with my demands, or the entire earth Kids Next Door is history!"

Abby growled. Nigel caught her gaze and gave her a stern look. She returned it, then, after a moment, huffed and lowered her weapon. But only ever so slightly. Nigel, for his part, raised his hands and let his blaster go limp before taking a careful step forward.

Dave still held the tracker high but made no sudden moves otherwise. Satisfied, Nigel chose his words cautiously before asking, "And what are these demands of yours?"

"Good to see your intergalactic tenure has turned you into a kid of reason," Dave said. "In all honesty, I wish to be left alone. I'm tired of looking over my shoulder, thinking she's come back for more or that Numbuh 65.3 will have a moment of clarity and go over some reports that'll crucify me. I'm tired of wasting my time over this nonsense!"

Abby snorted. "Poor widdle Dave, cocky enough to try and cook in the kitchen, but too much of a wuss to take the heat for it."

"Don't you dare judge me," Dave growled. "You imbeciles don't know anything!"

"Let's all settle down here," Nigel said, butting in before tempers flared too wildly. "So that's it? You want a get-out-of-jail-free card? That's a big ask, especially after what you've done."

"What? Numbuh 1 is suddenly unable to do the impossible unless it suits his needs?" Dave taunted. At Nigel's frown, he relented, expression softening as he gently lowered the tracker. "Look, I-I know I messed up. What I thought was a calculated decision blew up in my face, and no amount of 'I'm sorry-s' can undo the damage I've enabled. But you don't understand what's at stake for me!"

"Then tell me so I can. This has to go both ways."

"I-no. No, I can't take that risk. Not again," Dave looked at the bald teen, eyes misted over in a way that gave both Nigel and Abby pause. "Just let me go and ensure this won't trace back to me. Those are my terms. Once you've agreed to that, you can have the tracker. Please, I'm just so tired of this. I don't want to lose everything."

Lose everything. It seemed to be the constant problem Nigel encountered ever since he returned: chasing after shadows, friends and enemies alike, who were too desperate to let something go. In a way, it reminded him of how tightly Wally and Kuki held on to one another. It reminded him of possible motives Rachel had that Chad alluded to all that time ago. It reminded him a bit of himself, wanting to hold onto his honor, not abandon his duty while retaining some connection with all he held dear without burning bridges.

What Dave wanted was impossible. Extorted or not, what he'd done had put countless lives at risk. The safety of all the innocent kids on Earth was on the line. Galactic regulation—heck, even Earth regulation was clear that he just couldn't walk away, hands clean. But he stayed silent. Nigel considered all the options before him before turning to look at Abby. The girl was also holding on to something. Abby held on to anger and resentment with a vice grip. He could see it in her body posture, how her finger was just itching for a reason to pull the trigger. While he did not the full scope of the trauma she endured ever since he left, he could see she wore the scars with an almost twisted sense of pride. It proved that, despite it all, she could still do what needed to be done.

His eyes met hers, and he saw something else deep down. Something that, despite everything, still gave him hope that this would work out. That no matter the odds, they come out on the other side. His free hand clenched, and he glanced between Dave and his old second-in-command. Yes, his friend was still in there.

So, just like old times, he turned to his friend. "Your call, Numbuh 5."

Abby and Dave's look of surprise mirrored each other. After a moment, the scientist looked ready to bolt, and Abby simply looked at Nigel as if he had grown a second head. "This is above Numbuh 5's pay grade, spaceman."

"True, but this is also your case. You've been on this way before I came in to steal your thunder. You know the ins and outs. I can't think of anyone else's opinion I'd value more right now."

Abby rolled her eyes. "You tryin' to make Numbuh 5 blush?"

"I'm trying to trust Numbuh 5 to make the right call." Nigel smiled at her. "And I want her to know, that no matter what happens, she can trust me to have her back."

Her mouth fell agape, just staring at the bald boy. She stared down at the floor, her sunglasses obscuring the thought working itself behind her eyes. Then, she just chuckled. "You have no idea what to do here, do you?"

"Not in the slightest."

"Guess it's Numbuh 5's turn with the brain cell, huh?" She centered her sights on Dave and regarded him. He looked like a cornered animal, ready to lash out at a moment's notice. Her lips thinned as she remembered his crimes, remembered all the pain he caused just by giving Rachel the silver bullet she needed. A bolt of rage curled her spine, and she sharply inhaled to cast her verdict. But something—something in her stopped her and asked her to look at Dave again. She did, and upon looking him over one more time, she figured he didn't look like a cornered animal.

He looked more like a scared kid.

We are the Kids Next Door. We save kids. That's our job.

"Fine, we'll help the dork," Abby said with a sigh. "Guess he can join the 'getting screwed over by Numbuh 362' club."

Nigel's expression darkened at that. "Shame how we keep getting more members…"

"Y-You mean it?" Dave asked, tears of relief falling freely as the two operatives stowed their blasters. "You'll agree to my demands?"

Nigel held a finger up. "Now, agree is a strong word, but you heard Numbuh 5. We'll help you if—"

"Oh, thank you!" Dave immediately dove and hugged Abby's ankle. A noise of shock erupted from her throat as the ginger-haired scientist began blubbering at her feet. "Thankyouthankyouthankyou!"

"Get your nerd tears off my shoes, man!" Abby said, wrangling her legs free and taking a step back. She sent a glare Nigel's way as Dave composed himself. Nigel just shrugged. Abby pinched the bridge of her nose, hoping she wouldn't regret this. "Ugh. Numbuh 1, grab the crybaby and tracker so we can get back to the Basement."

"Agreed," Nigel said. "The sooner we get back, the sooner we can arm up to find—"

"Wait, hold on, the Basement?" Dave's question caught them off guard. The boy was pensive. "W-Why do you need to take me back to the Basement? There's no need for that!"

Nigel and Abby shared a side glance. Her hand slowly inched towards her blaster as Nigel carefully approached the rattled teen.

"Easy, we are going to help you," Nigel said, keeping his voice even. "Just come back with us to debrief Numbuh 9. Once you explain things to him, I'll make sure we can—"

"Debrief Numbuh-no, nonononono, noooo. I am most certainly not doing that!"

"Yeah, just keep interrupting me. That's cool."

"No. I'm not going back to the Basement. If they do, they'll ask questions. If they ask questions, then they could find out that—" Dave stopped himself. A wild look broke out across his face as he took several strides back. "J- Just make something up! Make something up, delete a few files for me, and I'll drop off the tracker at an agreed-upon location. That's all I want, I promise!"

"Dave," Abby said, drawing his attention. She caught Nigel's glance out of her peripheral vision. She nodded, signaling the go-ahead while she locked eyes with Dave. Her fingers deftly undid the clasp of her holster. "You know that's not how this works."

"Says who!? No! No, I just need more time!" Dave tucked the tracker under his arm as he extended a finger. "I just need more time!"

It all happened so quickly.

Abby whipped out her blaster as Nigel snuck forward. The bald operative went to tackle Dave but instead stumbled over a forgotten can of Grapey Gush X-Treme soda (thanks Eddy). The momentary fumble alerted Dave to Nigel's presence, allowing himself to pivot accordingly. Cursing, Abby fired a stunning shot as Nigel hit the floor. In the chaos, however, she missed, not risking hitting her partner, and Dave had all the time he needed to plunge his finger up his nose and teleport away in a gooey mass of boogers.

Nigel pounded his fist into the floor while Abby went to help him. She lifted him to his feet, but that was all they had time for before the intercom system went live. There was a screech of white noise before the airwaves flooded with Dave's hysteric voice.

"You just had to be difficult! You just had to be so…so…so uncompromising!"

The two co-leaders of the former sector V stood back to back as the lights flashed. Slowly, the steel doors to the exits slammed shut as the base entered lock-down.

"It could have been simple. It could have been easy, but nooooooo! Numbuh 1 and Numbuh 5 have to stay on their high horse! But now—now you know too much!"

Abby yelped, and Nigel turned to what startled her. They watched as a glimmering green substance rose from the cracks of the floor tiles and slithered and curled towards the wax figurines.

"NOW, I CAN'T LET YOU LEAVE!"

The two teenagers watched as the strange substance snaked into the wax figurines, starting with the sector V statues before moving on to the other wax-made mannequins. Nigel felt an odd sense of deja vu as he watched the green goo slide into the ears of the figurines.

"Dear lord," he exclaimed, his face paling in recognition of galactic-level technology. "He's using BOOGER-MITES!"

Galactic 2x14: B.O.O.G.E.R.M.I.T.E.S

Class: [REDACTED]

Rank: [REDACTED]

Bio. Organic. Operatives. Generating. Eerie. Reconnaissance. - Manipulating. Infiltrated. Target. Enemy. Systems.

"I'm sorry," Abby said, not liking how the eyes of the wax figures were starting to glow neon green in the dim light, like something out of a B-movie show. "He's using what now—oh my god."

Abby's eyes widened as the wax figures began to twitch. Her mouth gaped in horror as they began taking sluggish steps towards them. Terror caught her voice as she saw warped, wax imitations of her old team begin stalking forth with manufactured murderous intent.

Nigel gulped, watching Hoagie's wax doppelganger gingerly pick up an exhibit rail guard. The figure slowly became more animated as the BOOGER-MITES took control. It took the railing and snapped it in two, and the bald operative tensed as the creature twirled the sharp instruments between its fingers.

"They're nanorobotic 2x14 technology made from the snot of the war-mongering adults of Mucinex-VI," Nigel said as he reached for his blaster. "They were designed to infiltrate and disable enemy systems from the inside. But after the incident, the Important Ones actually did something smart and had the tech junked."

"Something tells Numbuh 5 that she don't wanna know why."

"You'd be right," Nigel confirmed as the wax figures stalked closer. Both loaded their blasters as the figures tensed, ready to go on the offensive. "But you're about to find out anyway."

And that was when Dave decided to cut the lights.

Flashes of lasers gave snapshots of the chaos. One moment, Nigel fired towards wax-Wally, then hissed as wax-Hoagie cut through his shirt, the steel of the broken guard rail nearly lethal if not for Nigel's instinct. Abby leaped into a kick at her doppelganger, but a glimmer of darkness interrupted, and she was pinned. The girl yelped, her head jerking right as a rail spear pierced the floor.

Nigel barreled into his wax clone, giving Abby a moment to seize the spear and kick herself up. Her feet dug into wax-Wally's chest. He stumbled back, Abby regaining her footing. She bent the spear, letting it go to smack wax-Kuki.

"Well?" Abby shouted as she unloaded her blaster into 'Wally', the animated wax figure using the darkness to bob and weave around the lasers. "Any ideas, spaceman!?"

Nigel grunted as he pushed his wax double off him, only to curse as wax-Abby snuck up and put him in a choke-hold. The statue forced Nigel to his knees, its elbows trying to lock around his neck. Between breaths, Nigel got out, "It'd help to see!"

Abby groaned, batted to the side by Wax-Kuki. She used the momentum to roll further away, her eyes frantically scanning the darkness. Her friend had a point; with barely any visibility, they were toast. She relied on potshots, both to deter her earwax assailants and use the scant light to find anything to solve their issue. A glitter caught her eye. Abby looked up to see a giant disco ball suspended from the canopy surrounded by an artful array of prism glass. Recognition crossed her face; that's right, it was from when she and Wally crashed Cree's senior prom right before Abby became Supreme Leader.

Good times, though Cree would probably disagree.

"Light show, comin' right up!" Abby lowered the setting of her blaster before quickly shooting the disco ball. To her relief, her plan worked as the laser began bouncing and reflecting off the disco ball and onto the prism glass display. It gained traction and was locked in a dazzling display that brought rainbow illumination to their impromptu battlefield.

Low light returned to the exhibit hall, and Nigel smirked at hearing Dave fume over the intercom. He back-flipped, the two wax figurines colliding with each other. Mid-air, he landed solid hits on both of them, making a three-point landing as his assailants went down.

The boy rose while he reloaded. His self-satisfied grin was replaced with a frown of trepidation as wax-Abby and wax-Nigel rose as well, the laser holes in their torso reforming with slick squelches.

Not far away, Abby was holding her own against wax-Kuki. Clip after clip of depleted energy cells clinked across the floor as the lithe girl fired upon the duplicate of her energetic teammate. But like her bald partner across the hall, Abby too was realizing this was going nowhere as laser-holes flawlessly repaired themselves faster than she could make them. Wax-Kuki pressed on with a wild grin. Abby ducked to reload, but the wax clone twisted her body to a grotesque degree to kick the blaster out of Abby's grip. The lifeless attacker's form contorted in unnatural ways, limbs bending and twisting beyond the limits of human anatomy. Kuki's waxen eyes gleamed with a malevolent glow. With an unsettling creak, it lurched forward. Its fingers elongated into grotesque, needle-like appendages that reached for Abby. Each movement was accompanied by a sickening squelch as the wax deformed and reshaped itself.

Abby staggered, horror etched across her face as wax-Kuki's form continued its relentless advance. The figure's limbs elongated and stretched, resembling tendrils more than arms. The visceral dance of slashes sent shivers down Abby's spine.

After taking a breath to recover, she grabbed the improvised spear hilted on the floor. With a swift motion, she thrust the spear forward. The steel pierced the malleable surface of the wax body, causing an unsettling resistance before finally pushing the animated figure away. The wax tendrils recoiled, releasing an otherworldly sound akin to the tearing of fabric, as Kuki's distorted limbs struggled to maintain their monstrous form.

Abby back-stepped away from wax-Kuki, cursing under breath as the figure continued to reform despite the assault. The hairs on her neck rose, and she ducked to avoid a swipe of figure behind her. Both hands tightly gripped her spear, and with a scream of effort, she lunged back and impaled the earwax monster into a random museum piece. Her scream devolved to one of terror as she looked up to see Hoagie's pained expression. Her hands leaped from the spear as if lashed, and fell on her backside while she desperately crawled away.

Eyes wide, her frame convulsed. Her breaths came out shallow. Her hands and feet tingled as she stared at Hoagie's face through a fish-eyed lens. It wasn't him. It wasn't really him. That mantra repeated itself over and over, but her logical mind retreated further away and became muted as she kept staring.

It wasn't Hoagie. But his face looked so much like Hoagie's back on that terrible day.

Wax-Hoagie recovered quicker than she did. She gasped as it powered forward, the wax material making slick noises as 'Hoagie' forced himself off the spear. She had to get out of there. She had to get away.

Abby scampered clumsily to her feet and ran. Ran far away from that thing that stole her friend's face. Her heart thudded in her eyes with each frantic step. All that mattered was running away. Running far, far away.

This is all your fault, something whispered to her.

A hand reached out.

She struck first.

"Ow! Hey—Abby?" Nigel's agitation immediately fizzled away as Abby collapsed in front of him. He leaned down and shuffled her to face him. The faraway, terrified gaze she held cut him more than any cheap sucker punch. "Calm down, it's me. Are you okay?"

The dazed girl took short, quick breaths. Her pupils came into focus as she tried to remember where she was. "I-I…A-Abby's fine. She just—" The fight in her took over as something moved in the dark. Nigel was so concerned for her that he didn't even notice it. "Look out!"

Abby grabbed Nigel and rolled away with him in tow just as Wax-Wally buried a serrated plastic axe into the spot they just occupied. The two operatives rolled back onto their feet, now back-to-back, and realized the other waxen fighters of sector V were converging on their location. Nigel whipped out his blaster, and Abby grabbed a pair of exhibit stanchions and started swinging.

"So, these BOOGER-MITES," Abby said in between swings. She was grateful it was her double and wax-Nigel advancing on her end. The stanchions became extensions of her body as she whipped them with a flourish, sending the two figures back. "How we supposed to deal with 'em?"

"Keep the pressure on and damage the bodies!" Nigel yelled over blaster fire. He aimed precise, charged shots at wax-Hoage and wax-Kuki's feet. "After they've infected something, the mites are useless if their host becomes unsustainable!"

"What do you think Numbuh 5's doing!?" With a grunt of effort, she swung hard with her makeshift nun-chucks, knocking both wax assailants away and taking off decent chunks of their heads. But to her dismay, they just jumped to their feet as the wax around their noggins reformed. "They just keep comin'!"

"That's all I've got, okay?" Nigel snapped back as he shot a hole through wax-Kuki point blank, grimacing at how she only reacted with a waxy giggle. "How was I supposed to know alien mucus and earwax made durable armor?"

"Well, maybe you would have if you read any of my dissertations!" Both operatives flinched as Dave's voice filtered over the intercom. The boy seemed far gone, devolving into shouting mad ramblings to his captive audience. "But does anyone respect my work? No! It's only 'Dave, give me GKND evidence or you're dead meat!' or 'Dave, give us the tracker while we leave you rot!'. It's only what I can do for YOU! None of you care about me! Nobody cares about what I put on the line to help—"

BOOOOM-zzzZZztzZZztz!

With one well-placed shot, the once lively intercom was reduced to a smoldering junk heap as bits of ash rained to the floor. Abby gave it a dry look while holding Nigel's blaster-wielding hand. With that distraction gone, she released his wrist. "So, you got a plan yet or what?

"We've got to find a way to inflict a lot of damage at once," Nigel said, kicking wax-Kuki away and pelting wax-Hoagie with his last laser clip. "You know, hit them really, really hard?"

"That sounds like something Numbuh 4 would say!"

"Well, maybe he's actually on to something—ABBY!" Nigel panicked as wax-Kuki wrapped her tendrils around Abby's neck, lifting her into the air and choking her. He screamed as he turned to tackle the thing, and in the scuffle, the wax figure screeched, discarding and tossing the girl to put its focus on the boy mashing its face in with the blunt end of his blaster.

Abby wailed as she flew through the air. Her head smacked with a wince-inducing THUD against the large signage of the museum's closed snack bar, before promptly tumbling and falling behind the bar. The plastic countertop buckled under her weight, and packages of busted open chewy pellet packets, pretzel salt, and nacho pepper potato chips fell on her.

Her hand rubbed soothingly where her head made an impact, the headache already making itself known with a dull throb. Despite the pain, she could hear the sounds of battle Nigel was having with the wax-sector V. However, she peaked an eye open as she noted an odd series of squeaking noises that sounded much closer.

Abby's head jerked back, surprised as she saw a hamster squeaking frantically atop the raspberry Slurpee machine. The thing was hopping up and down, shaking a can of soda—wait, Grapey Gush X-treme? Didn't Mr. Fizz have that discontinued?—and wildly gesturing to something in her lap. She looked down and raised a brow at what lay upon her abdomen.

A bag of pop rocks?

Wait.

Her brows knitted together as she remembered Nigel's plan. With a smirk, she held out her hand, the hamster dropping the soda. "Thanks, lil guy."

Eddy made his exit—the other hamsters were definitely not going to believe this—and Abby vaulted over the counter with a trembling soda can in one hand and a bag of pop rocks in the other. She went into a sprinting leap, jumping onto the tables of the snack area, and rushed to the battle with an athletic display of snack tale hopscotch.

The wax monsters were in a huddle, ganging up on Nigel. She gave the soda can one last good shake before popping it open with her thumb. Her teeth tore into the sterile packaging of pop rocks, ripping them free before mashing them into the Grapey Gush.

"Numbuh 1!" Bracing her knees, Abby gave one last vault as she soared upwards. She reared back her arm and chucked the bubbling can into the fray, the fizz residue tingling on her fingers. "They lookin' a lil thirsty!"

Nigel parried a jab from wax-Kuki and deflected a blow from wax-Wally. At Abby's shout, he saw her tossing something straight towards him. Quickly accessing the situation, he gave his would-be waxen assassins a smug grin and a two-fingered salute before clicking his heels together and rocketing away. The wax sector V snarled as Nigel escaped. They made to give chase before something fell in the center of them. They looked down at the bulging soda can and had just enough self-awareness to widen their lifeless eyes as the can of Grapey Grush X-treme exploded.

"Guess too much soda is a bad thing," Nigel chuckled, holding his arm up to shield his eyes from the purple sparkling soda shower. He stuck his tongue out, catching a stray pop rock. He savored the taste before looking proudly down at his teen-in-arms. "Great thinking, Numbuh 5!"

Abby whipped her frizzy hair back, one hand flying to her hip as she indulged in a long-ignored need to strike a cool pose. "You expectin' anything less? Now let's go track down Dave before he—"

CLANK!

Nigel was blindsided by a giant frying pan. The bald boy went careening downwards, crash landing in the made-to-half-scale macaroni replica of the candy pirates' Sweet Revenge. Abby's worry for her friend was cut short as she noted the pan boomeranging back towards its owner; an animated wax statue of Gramma Stuffum. With her weapon in hand, the large wax woman stampeded through several exhibits to bee-line towards Abby.

The girl raised her fists, preparing to charge head-on, only to see stars as she was slapped with so much force it sent her flying. Her face stung, but she opened her eyes to look ahead at the sound of a POOF. Count Spankulot, or at least his zombie-fied wax double, appeared in the center of her sudden flight path. The waxen vampire gave a sinister grin as he reared his hand back, giving Abby another smack head-on before she could recover. She was slammed downwards, her body bouncing from the recoil. The Count refused to relent, using a third attack to send the girl sailing into the clutches of Gramma Stuffum.

Nigel rose from the cracked pasta and chipped spaghetti, nursing the new lump on the side of his head. He tensed, enveloped in a large shadow. Acting fast, he grabbed a comically oversized piece of elbow macaroni and rolled over to shield himself from the downward slash of a candy-cane cutlass.

The wax imitation Stickybeard gave a toothless grin as he put more weight on his blade. The sharp candy sunk deeper into the macaroni, very near to slicing through completely. Nigel heaved, exerting himself to the point of sweating. Stickybeard rose his cutlass back up to go for a fatal blow. Seeing an open, Nigel stomped the heel of his left boot, the rockets giving his kick enough thrust to sweep and knock over the wax pirate. The jets carried him into a barrel roll that allowed him to become airborne once more.

Before he could assess the situation, a mix of earwax and fluoride clogged his thrusters, sending him back to the deck of the fake Sweet Revenge. The boy started to get off his knees when a wax Knightbrace, swinging in on a vine of floss, pummeled into him feet first. The impact sent Nigel over the port side of the ship down to the lobby below.

Abby, meanwhile, managed to recover enough to react to her attackers, mostly flipping and twirling away from her foes to regain much-needed footing. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a dazed Nigel about to hit the floor. Eyes wide, she broke into a mad sprint, leaping to catch the boy in her arms before he made contact with the ground. She helped him to his feet, and a plan of action was nearly off his lips when the two became squeezed and ensnared in a waxy wrap of triple-Ply toilet paper.

The animated Toiletnator figure grinned. He gripped his toiletry bindings, and once taut, he heaved them over his shoulder, flinging Nigel and Abby into the air before bringing them down with a mighty slam that shook the foundation of the museum, birds outside abruptly awoken and fleeing the branches of the tree-house.

Despite their battered forms, the two operatives struggled within the carter Toiletnator had made for them. They broke through two of the three-ply layers before being bombarded by a cascade of mucus and earwax that pinned them down completely. The wax figure of the Common Cold slowly descended from the air, landing among its fellow animated villains. Abby and Nigel were trapped as the waxen sinister six stalked forth.

"Well ain't this peachy," Abby weakly muttered, her exhaustion mounting and adrenaline fading fast. "We're getting our asses handed to us by the Toiletnator."

"It's not just him," Nigel said, managing to crack an eye open to see the wax villains grinning down from atop the carter. "The BOOGER-MITES adapt to their hosts with deadly efficiency. The longer this goes on, the more dangerous they become."

"Somehow, that doesn't make me feel better."

"It wasn't supposed to."

The cold, dimly lit room echoed with the distant sound of dripping wax. The air was heavy with an unsettling stillness as the two heroes paused to look up, now surrounded by the eerie circle of wax villains.

The flickering disco light cast long shadows across the waxen faces, making them appear more lifelike and malevolent. Abby and Nigel exchanged wary glances, realizing they were trapped in this nightmarish museum of horrors. Suddenly, a low, guttural hum filled the air as the wax figures moved closer together. Their movements were slow and deliberate as if controlled by an otherworldly force. Stickybeard's wax hand gripped the cutlass tighter, Spankulot's fangs glinted menacingly, and Stuffum's grotesque cooking utensils seemed to shimmer with an unholy aura.

As the figures closed in, an unnatural union began to take shape above them. Wax limbs fused, forming a grotesque and towering entity that bore the features of each villain. Gramma Stuffum's head, body, and upper arms. The Common Cold's right arm and snot-cannon. Count Spankulot's fangs and gloves. Stickybeard's beard and candy peg leg. Knightbrace's headgear and belt. And finally, the Toiletnator's lid and toilet paper cape. The newly formed Amalgamation's eyes glowed with the sickly power of the BOOGER-MITES as it twisted and contorted, a fusion of a kid's nightmares made manifest.

Nigel visibly deflated while Abby's expression went stark white. "Really wishing we had some hydrogen peroxide right about now…"

Above them on the second-floor balcony, booger particles materialized into the form of a distressed Dave. One hand held the KNDNA Tracker, the other a manner of video-game controller turned operating device. The frazzled scientist looked down at his former comrades, various emotions filtering through his eyes: fear, guilt, shame, and then finally, anger.

"Why couldn't you just assist me?" he raved, pacing back and forth as the floor creaked under him, "It didn't have to be this way. I-I didn't want to resort to this, honest. But you gave me no other option!"

"We weren't lying, man. We were gonna help," Abby argued. Her tone went quiet, head leaning closer to Nigel to whisper, "But Numbuh 5 is starting to second guess that decision."

"Understandable," Nigel quietly conceded, given their predicament. His face hardened, determined to make the scientist see reason. "And we still can help, Numbuh 74.239, but only if you stop this madness. You know this will only make it worse for you!"

"Yeah. Practice what you preach and think for a second," Abby said. "They send you to pick up the tracker, the museum locks down, and then me and Numbuh 1 don't report in? Don't take a genius to tell you that won't add up!"

"I know that," Dave said, though the mounting panic in his voice said otherwise. One could hear the gears turning in his brain as he desperately searched for a solution. "I'll just, uh, blame it on Numbuh 362! Yeah, of course! What's one more strike on her rap sheet at this point? Yes, I-I'll just use my leftover tech to frame her and everything will be okay! Just need to get rid of you two first…"

Abby and Nigel's eyes widened. "You're going to kill us?"

"Wha? No, geez! I mean, I'll just decommission you or something."

"Because that's so much better, right?"

"It's a mercy! You get to go on, all stupid, oblivious, and happy. Not a care in the world, cause you get actual normal lives! Free of all of this. Go back to your families, and friends, not having nightmares over what you did," Dave went on, his voice weakening the longer he went on. Tears prickled his eyes as he stared blankly out into the dead halls of the museum. "All the time in the world to be who you want."

The teen operatives below were at a loss for words, the melancholy in his voice making them uncomfortable. A rumbling closer stole their attention, and they focused their gazes on the briefly forgotten Amalgamation as it gave another reason to feel unsettled.

The wax horror's canon arm rose and bubbled, slowly reshaping into a new abomination. The material stretched, tore, and then congealed into a razor-sharp edge. Abby gulped, seeing something akin to an executioner's axe forming as the Amalgamation's lips curled into a vicious grin. "Uh, Dave? Don't think you and your Frankenstein are on the same page."

"Okay, first of all; I would be Frankenstein in this allegory, and that would be Frankenstein's monster. Did you even read the book?"

"Nerd."

"Second: stop being dramatic. Now that you're subdued, I just got set the mites to passive mode," he said, shuffling the tracker under his shoulder as he fumbled with the controller. The relief was palpable between Abby and Nigel. Still between a rock and a hard place, but hey, Dave was just unknowingly giving them more time to work a way out of this mess. The relief turned to apprehension, however, as the Amalgamation kept raising its axe and Dave started fidgeting. "Come on, you piece of crud, listen to me!"

"Anytime now, Dave!"

"It…it's not responding," Dave whispered, though, with the silence of the museum, the two below heard it as clear as church bells. The scientist was petrified with horror, coming to a slow, sick realization of what he was about to witness. What he had just enabled. "No. Nononononono…"

Grim acceptance crept into Abby's eyes as she saw the Amalgamation shake off the last chains of Dave's control and peered down at them with sentient murderous intent. "Please don't tell me this is why the mites were blacklisted."

"Okay," Nigel said, his tone neutral. With the apparent inevitable looming in front of them, there was no sass—no bravado in his voice as he said, "I won't tell you."

Dave found himself on the floor, legs having lost all feeling. Numbness reigned over his body as absentmindedly rocked back and forth. All his plans collapsed in front of him and he could only see the truth. He was out of time. He was a failure. He was a coward. He was a traitor.

And he was about to be a murderer.

"I'm sorry," he cried, tears falling freely as he curled in on himself. "I'm so, so sorry…"

Abby stared past the Amalgamation as it inched its blade to their necks, eyes greedily analyzing the perfect angle. It slowly reared the axe back, bringing it over its head and preparing for one mighty chop.

Her life flashed before her eyes. She saw the pride in Cree's eyes as Abby passed her Cadet Next Door exam with flying colors. She saw scorn and resentment in those same eyes when Abby chose her duty over her sister. She heard the mirthful laugh of Henrietta as they shared the spoils of their first candy haul. She heard the hateful curses spew from the same mouth as Abby abandoned her in Guatemala. She felt the warm, loving embrace of Nigel, Hoagie, Kuki, and Wally as she made it back from a suicide mission, teasing them for doubting her skills. She felt a cold empty loneliness thinking of those four faces and how, now in the end, she let them all down.

This is it, that voice from earlier whispered. The Amalgamation was ready to deliver its final blow. This is what you deserve—

"Abby."

Nigel's voice silenced her inner one and she looked his way. His eyes bore into hers, resolute in their softness. Bold despite their fear. A fear, she realized with a tear streaming down her cheek, wasn't for himself. Because of course in his last moments, he wouldn't be selfish. How could she forget the truth?

Friends came first for Nigel Uno.

"If this is it—if this is how it ends, then I want you to know," he said, and he struggled, his hand fighting its way into hers under the disgusting bindings. He smiled. "I'm glad it was with you."

Abby stared at Nigel, a buhmillion unspoken things conveyed that, between them, never needed to be said aloud at all. She smiled and squeezed his hand. "Me too, Nigel. Me too."

The two stared at the Amalgamation head-on as they blew raspberries.

ShhHHHHIINNNNnk-CLINK!

The two paused mocking the face of death as something whizzed through the air, sharp and powerful enough to slice clean through the Amalgamation's wrist. The creature groaned, stumbling at the shift of weight as the axe end of its arm fell behind it in a clatter. Nigel and Abby simultaneously blinked, then looked over to see what they owed their lives to.

Embedded in the wall was a distinctly T-shaped shuriken.

"I am the terror that goes bump in the night."

The disco laser display that dimly illuminated the exhibit hall exploded in a storm of fiber and glass. Darkness spilled into the area once more before being washed away by the rays of spotlights focusing on the wax Amalgamation.

"I am the phantom haunting the exhibits of evil."

Nigel squinted as the voice echoing off the walls sounded familiar. Abby's brows knitted, racking her memory as well while the wax terror hunched over them seething and looking for the new intruder. Dave snapped from his stupor, rising to his feet and backing away. There was a sharp zip noise as his heel backed into something, and he yelped, swept off his feet, and yanked into the air. The KNDNA Tracker fell forgotten as he found himself hoisted by a yo-yo-string trap.

"I am retribution. I am your fright," a shadowy figure bellowed from above. All eyes turned to the peak of the third-of-life-size Sector V Tree-house diorama. A cape billowed in the air-conditioned breeze, the brim of an oversized fedora obscured the face of a cunning lad, and a devilish portly visage stood stark against the pale moonlight. "I am, THE—"

"Tommy!?"

"Gee, thanks, guys," Tommy huffed, glaring down at the dumbfounded faces of Abby and Nigel. He crossed his arms, wobbly balancing atop his perch. "I only spent the whole ride over here working on that intro, but hey, it's whatever."

Dave flailed around, flabbergasted by the turn of events. "Who the heck is this kid? How did he know to be here—OW!"

His tirade was cut short as the nozzle of a nasal spray bottle shot up his nose. The hastily made dart shot a stream of serum straight into his sinus. To his utter horror, Dave found them quickly drying up.

"You shall feel my wrath soon, evil-doer," Tommy said, his hand lowering after tossing the nasal dart from his utility belt. He dramatically pointed his finger down to the small group below him, his steely gaze centered on the bald boy of the duo. "But I have come for you, Numbuh 1!"

Nigel blinked.

"But first, let's get dangerous," Tommy said, narrowing his gaze at the wax abomination between him and his prey. The Amalgamation roared, waxen spit and snot spraying everywhere. Tommy swung his cape with a zealous flare before shouting, "Now, loyal sidekicks!"

With a battle cry, Kuki—the real Kuki, Abby was shocked to see—leaped from the shadows and onto the back of the Amalgamation and slashed wildly into its neck with the sickle of her GO-road-sign staff. The creature snarled in surprise, clumsily stomping back and trying to reform wax tendrils to knock the girl away.

Nigel and Abby renewed their struggle as Kuki hacked away at the beast. It trampled back and forth, awkwardly swaying on its candy peg leg. The bindings of the waxy Common Cold's snot bomb were starting to loosen, but not fast enough, as Nigel and Abby looked up to see the massive boot of the Amalgamation about to accidentally crush them in its daze.

In a blur, something rolled in and pulled them out of the fray as the boot came down, causing a quake that rattled the entire treehouse. Abby's entire world spun for a second, and when things came back into focus, she could only gasp, "Wally?"

"Who else would save your butt?" Wally said, his hands busy with tools trying to free his friends. He paused, glaring up at Tommy, and with a snarl said, "And I ain't no one's cruddy side-kick!"

Kuki growled, tearing into the wax monster with swift, lethal strikes. Small mucus appendages sprouted from the Amalgamation's back and made greedy attempts to strangle her. The spry girl was quicker, dodging to the side and slicing the hands away. As she let up on the main body, the monster took advantage by using its free arm to twist around, grab Kuki's ankle, and slam her down. The Amalgamation looked down at the Supreme Leader and raised its fist to crush her. A hail of lollipop bullets barreled into its side and caused it to start tumbling back, allowing Kuki the window to retreat.

Numbuh Eighty-Five screamed as he slowly inched forward, hands braced on his candy-machine gun and unloaded barrage after barrage on the fearsome horror. The hard candy assault had the Amalgamation on the back foot, and when Patrick noticed there was enough distance between it and his commander, he shuffled into a holding stance and kept up the suppressing volley.

A stray lollipop jammed the cartridge of the gun, a mechanism forcibly ejecting it as a safety precaution. The stray strawberry-kiwi-flavored treat fluttered through the air until it landed in the awaiting mouth of Numbuh Eighty-Three. Sonia swished the lollipop around as she swerved around Patrick, her Rainbow Monkey roller-skates gliding effortlessly over the polished floor. Her blonde pigtails flowed behind her like comet tails as she approached the towering titan. With each spin and twirl, she evaded its attempts to grab her.

Nmbuh Eighty-Five continued to suppress the monster with a relentless stream of lollipops, creating a sticky, multicolored spectacle. The air was filled with the scent of grape and blue raspberry, creating a surreal and hypnotic atmosphere. Sonia closed in on the pinned monster, pulling out a pair of high-powered squirt guns from her belt. The water inside glowed with vibrant carbonated energy, promising a dazzling display of liquid gunplay. With precise aim, Sonia unleashed torrents of seltzer water into the air, creating a mesmerizing dance of bubbly projectiles.

The Amalgamation, momentarily blinded by the wet assault and lollipops pelting its gooey exterior, lowered its guard. Seizing the opportunity, Sonia dashed forward with a burst of speed, leaving a trail of water droplets in her wake. She leaped gracefully into the air, performing acrobatic flips before unleashing a concentrated stream straight into its mouth.

Above, Tommy gave another flap of his cape before diving down to glide into the chaos. While reaching for his belt, he called out the last member of their squadron of righteousness. "Now, Lee!"

At his cue, Lee darted from his hiding spot as Sonia landed behind the Amalgamation. Her hand grabbed him, and the young girl grunted as she spun on her heel, her skates swirling her and Lee faster and faster until she used to momentum to chuck him towards the monster. Lee shot between its legs, his fingers flinging twin yo-yo bolas to encircle its waxy ankles. Lee landed alongside Patrick, who dropped his weapon to link arms with his teammate. The boys nodded and gave a mighty yank.

The string of the yo-yo went taut, and the Amalgamation teetered slowly before crashing into the ground. Tommy floated down on its chest and locked eyes with the beast. It opened its maw to let loose a roar but found it plugged with a carton of hydrogen peroxide.

With a cunning smirk, Tommy back-flipped off the abomination, turning to have his back to the creature. Without even giving the creature one last glance, he methodically pulled a detonator from his belt and raised it high for all to see. And with one little push, the hydrogen peroxide bomb exploded, taking the horrible wax creature with it.

The Tommy flashed a cocky smirk as sector W plus Numbuh Eighty-Five gathered around him. He saw Kuki running to Wally to help both Nigel and Abby to their feet. Noting the look of disbelief on the latter two, the young vigilante dusted his knuckles against his cape before cheekily saying, "No need to thank The Tommy, fair citizens. It's all in a good night's—"

SPLOOOOSH!

The aftermath of the explosion descended on them, a black lash of dried, crumbly ear wax and sterile space nose candy covering them all head to toe. Nigel and Wally gagged as they grimly picked at their shirts. Kuki and Sonia squealed, running in frantic circles to shake the gunk off. Lee gingerly wrung the mess from his trapper hat, grumbling all the while. Poor Patrick was on his knees, clutching his throat with choked cries of, "It got in my mouth! It got in my mouth!" repeating ad nauseam.

Abby's face blanked, staring dead on as goop and muck seeped into body parts she didn't know she had. The events of the last hour were slowly processed in her brain. After a long sticky moment, she leveled a dry look the younger Gilligan's way and with a snark chip to her voice said, "Thanks, Tommy."

The droopy brim of Tommy's fedora covered his face, but it was evident in his rigid posture that he was far from amused. "I said there was no need."

THUMP!

A commotion drew everyone's attention to the second-level balcony. Dave had managed to undo his bindings and fell to the floor in a heap. He groaned, massaging his backside before looking down upon noticing eight pairs of eyes staring up at him.

There was a pregnant pause.

Eddy, who had been munching on potato chips while watching the whole affair, coughed into his paws.

Dave carefully and ever so slowly grabbed the KNDNA Tracker…

… and proceeded to book it.

"After him!"

At Nigel's shout, all KND operatives plus Wally snapped to attention and began running, flipping, and parkour-ing their way up to the balcony to cut off Dave's sloppy escape. Tommy, for his part, raised his cape to cover himself. He shifted his eyes and he skulked back into the shadows.

Short frantic breaths escaped from Dave as he sprinted down the hall, the only thing louder than the distant footsteps was the pounding of his heart in his ears. He turned several corners, desperately trying to remember which emergency exit led to the hanger. This was all wrong. Things weren't supposed to get so out of hand. None of this was supposed to happen.

He had to get out of here!

The rogue scientist found himself in the Cadet Next Door Refrigerator Art Expose—aw, look at that, the little rascals had managed to keep the colors inside the lines, he was so proud—but skidded to a halt as he saw Nigel and his posse appearing at the opposite end of the circular room. He turned to backtrack, he could lose them in the Sector Z Memorial Wing.

"HIYA!"

But any plans of escape were dashed with a sneaky uppercut, courtesy of one daring boy of mystery.

Tommy popped up from some dark corner, sending Dave and the KNDNA Tracker flying. Abby and Nigel yelped, going into a slide to catch the device before it crashed against the floor. Kuki and Wally went to pin down the scientist as sector W emerged from behind. Tommy's hands went to his hips and puffed out his chest. "I told you, evildoer, no fiend escapes the furious wrath of The Tommy!"

Dave let loose a blood-curdling scream.

"Oh geez, oh geez!" Tommy panicked, seeing the red-haired boy spasming as if in the throes of a seizure. "I didn't mean to hit him THAT hard, honest!"

"You…didn't hit—AH—me," Dave hissed as if he was losing some unforeseen battle for control. Those close noticed something in his chest was short-circuiting, the electric arcs rolling across his body as he broke into a cold sweat. "You hit—y-you hit my—AGRH!"

Abby picked Nigel off the ground, both eyes widened with shock as those surrounding Dave gave him a wide berth. A shimmering coat of light enveloped him, outlining his form. Gasps of fear and surprise broke out into the hall as Dave's form shifted from that of a normal teenage boy to something else entirely.

What crouched before them was Dave, or at least they hoped it was still Dave. Where there was once pale, squishy skin was now hardened, rigid bark. Normal human eyes were replaced with orbs that held the same shade of green as fresh spring foliage. Dave's ginger hair and locks had disappeared; twigs with tiny luminescent leaves at the ends now in their place. As he moved, the leaves rustled, creating a melancholy melody reminiscent of wind whispering through branches. It was fitting, as now fully exposed, Dave crumpled in on himself, letting out otherworldly-sounding sobs of fear and regret.

Wally stared gobsmacked at the whimpering tree-boy-thing that sat in front of them. "Holy sh—OW!" He winced at Kuki's pinch. She glared up at him, then made glances at sector W and Tommy reminding him that children were present. "Oh, quit babyin' 'em, I've bet they've heard worse!"

"Sweet Rainbow Monkey Mary," Sonia gasped as she and other children huddled frightened behind their Supreme Leader. While the boys shivered behind Kuki's legs, Sonia raised a shaking finger to point at Dave. "He turned into a monster!"

"No, he's not a monster," Nigel said, a bit of awe creeping up his voice. He left the tracker with Abby, ignoring her protests as he got closer to analyze Numbuh Seven-Four-point-Two-Three-Nine's new appearance. He had seen this type of being before, but not on Earth. "He's a Birchbarkian. He's a—"

"Alien, yes. Very astute observation."

Everyone sans Dave jumped at the new voice. Kuki and the teenagers went for their weapons while the younger KND operatives and Tommy stood confused at what was transpiring before them. The newcomer stepped from the shadows, dress shoes clacking evenly against the hardwood planks. Those formerly of sector V recognized the so-called diplomat immediately.

"Good to see you again, Numbuh 1, and in good company, no less," Numbuh Infinity said, face stoic as stone. The young boy had his hands clasped behind his back, noting how hesitant sector V seemed to be to completely lower their weapons. His eyes wandered over sector W—that was going to be a lot of paperwork later, oh joy—and landed on the depressed form of Numbuh Seventy-Four-point-Two-Three-Nine. His gaze softened and he went to adjust his tie with a sigh. "I hoped to meet under better circumstances, but it appears fate had other plans."

Tommy scratched under his fedora confused as the atmosphere got a heck of a lot more serious. He looked over to sector W, annoyed that he was out of the loop. "What's the big deal? This kid important or something?"

A/N: Weekly updates until the end.