Chapter Eighteen:
A/N: Trigger Warning for slight abuse and a panic attack.
Selena woke up with a jolt. Her heart was beating out of her chest and sweat covered every inch of her body. She thought that it had all been a dream
Everyone was on The Bus, Ward wasn't Hydra. She, Jemma, and Fitz never made it to the bottom of the ocean. Her and Skye's father had never found them. And most importantly, Trip wasn't gone…..dead.
But it wasn't a dream. It was reality and that thought alone was enough to reduce the child to unbridled tears.
Everything was so…wrong. If it wasn't for her and Skye's lunatic father, Trip would still be alive right now.
He would be here, laughing and joking…making everyone smile…
He didn't deserve any of this. It wasn't his fault. It wasn't!
Selena angrily wiped the tears from her eyes and hopped out of bed. She couldn't go back to sleep, that much she knew. At least, not alone.
Usually when she couldn't sleep, she'd go straight to Skye's bunk, but Skye wasn't there. She was in the lab. In quarantine.
Whatever happened in that chamber was so serious and alarming, that she needed to be put in quarantine until further notice.
So tearfully and as quietly as possible, she snuck down the corridors (with a blanket and pillow in hand) and into the lab, making sure that no one saw her.
They were worried too much about her as it is. She didn't need anyone mothering her right now.
She just needed Skye.
She set her pillow down on the floor next to her sister's pod before laying down and covering herself with her blanket.
It wasn't ideal, but it was better than sleeping all alone after a nightmare.
Skye was still there.
And Selena fell asleep knowing that she always would be.
As the sun rose several hours later, Coulson made his way into the lab and sat down in a chair, watching Skye sleep.
He'd be lying if he said the he wasn't completely worried sick about her. He loved her as if she were his own daughter.
He just wanted her to be okay. She had led such a hard life thus far, and she deserved a break.
But it seemed like she wouldn't get one for a while.
The agent watched her toss and turn before she eventually stopped and sat up, narrowing her eyes at him once she saw him.
"I haven't been able to sleep either." Was all he said in greeting.
"I keep thinking Trip is gonna come see me. Make fun of me for being stuck in quarantine, call me a goldfish or hamster or something…...but every time I wake up…..." Tears filled Skye's eyes. "I remember all over again. I just can't believe he's not coming back, he shouldn't have been down there."
"You both went in for a good reason." Coulson stopped her from blaming herself. "To prevent HYDRA from starting a cataclysm."
Obviously, Skye wasn't easily convinced. "He was trying to save me."
"He may have saved all of us." He got up from his seat and walked over to her. "The Obelisk triggered a massive earthquake. Imagine how much worse it could have been if he hadn't destroyed it. He died a hero."
"How's everyone doing?"
"Everyone deals with it in their own way." Coulson nodded to the floor where he had just noticed Selena's sleeping form.
He knew she hadn't slept very well since the incident, and was glad to see that she was completely out now Even if it was on the cold lab floor.
"She's been there all night?" Skye followed his gaze.
"Probably." Coulson smiled.
"How long did it take Mack to get out of quarantine?" Skye continued to watch over her sister.
"He cleared pretty quickly. Whatever took over his system is gone, but he's pretty shaken up."
"And Simmons? Is she back?"
"No." Coulson shook his head. "Not yet. She has a team documenting whatever they can in the tunnels, cleaning up...….but it's slow going with no electricity." He sighed. "She'll assess the structural integrity of the place and if possible, blow one of the vertical shafts under the ocean floor, flood the city with water—"
"—And drown it for good." Skye finished for him.
"Hopefully, the bedrock wasn't too badly damaged by the quake. The temple collapsed on itself. It's a miracle you're still alive. "
Skye guiltily looked at him and her sister, not wanting to think about what would happen to Selena if she didn't come back.
"Did you find Raina's body yet?"
"There's a lot of rubble to dig through, but not yet. Whatever gas came out of the Obelisk hit you too. That's why we're being extra cautious. It's hard to make sense of all this."
"What?" Skye shot up with tears threatening to escape. "What? No! No it isn't!"
Even though she was yelling, Selena didn't even stir.
She was fast asleep, drooling on her pillow.
"We lost! We failed!"
"Skye, don't say that."
"If I didn't go down there, you could've blown the place!"
"That was one battle, this is a war!"
"And Ward…and — and my father—"
"—Skye." Coulson tried to stop her, but she just continued.
"The rotten core at the center of everything!"
Only when Coulson slammed his hands on the glass, did she stop and Selena stirred.
The two stood completely still and waited for Selena to fall back into her deep sleep.
They didn't want her to hear any part of this conversation. She had enough on her plate.
"Listen to me." Coulson's voice was just above a whisper, but still firm. "We did not fail. Trip prevented a disaster and Whitehall's dead. We cut off the head. And while HYDRA scrambles for a new one, I will crush them. I'm gonna make somebody pay, whoever it is."
"I trust you." Skye nodded, fighting back a sob. "But if anything does happen to me, I need you to promise me, that you'll take care of her." She nodded to her sister.
"Skye, nothing is going to—"
"—Promise me! You cannot let him get to her!" Skye's voice cracked as she looked into his eyes. "Please! She's all I have!"
"I promise."
"Hey." Bobbi knocked on the glass before lifting up a bag. "Quarantine survival kit." She smirked and opened up the drawer to Skye's quarantine pod, setting the bag in it and closing it.
Skye opened the bag and looked at what was inside.
"A deck of cards for solitaire, bag of homemade trail mix if you wanna be healthy, a couple of candy bars because I know you probably don't, headphones, and a few magazines." The blonde explained.
Skye smirked and took out a canned drink she had never seen before.
"Cactus cooler." Bobbi supplied. "I keep a stash. I mean, you can only get it in California, its the best…...Anyway, I've been in quarantine before and I know it can drive you absolutely nuts."
"Thanks. I was beginning to feel like a leper."
"Are you kidding?" Bobbi asked incredulously. "You managed to be taken hostage by three known murderers, you gunned down Ward, then were blasted by an alien chemical weapon and walked out unscathed. Leper? I think you're a rockstar."
"Thanks."
"Is she okay?" Bobbi looked at Selena, who was actually still sleeping on the floor.
"She's fine. She hasn't been sleeping well and I just let her stay there. What time is it?"
"A quarter after three."
"Can you wake her up and get her something to eat? It's later than I thought."
"Sure." Bobbi nodded, bending down to shake Selena awake. "Wake up kid."
Selena groaned and rolled over, only to feel that annoying person shaking her again.
"Come on Selena. If you get up now, I think I can whip up some of that oatmeal you like." Bobbi poked her side.
"Skye too?" Selena rubbed the sleep out of her eyes.
"No, not today, kiddo." Bobbi helped her stand. "You can come back and see her later, but right now, you have to eat."
"Okay." Selena stopped rubbing her eyes and waved at her sister. "Bye Skye."
"Geez kid, you're coming back and I'm obviously not going anywhere." Skye joked even though she had never felt worse. This whole thing had brought on a horrible case of separation anxiety for Selena "Bring me back some cookies, okay?"
"Okay!" Selena perked up. "C'mon Bobbi! Skye wants cookies!" She grabbed the older woman's hand and dragged her to the kitchen.
"Oatmeal first." Bobbi told her once they reached their destination and lifted Selena up on the counter. "Then cookies."
"Okay…...but don't forget the cinnamon!" Selena watched as Bobbi put the oatmeal together. "And the apples."
"Green apples." Bobbi added, slicing up the apples and putting more cinnamon in the oatmeal than it really needed. "Here you go kid. Enjoy."
She watched as the child grinned and shoved a large spoonful into her mouth.
"Thank you Bobbi." Selena spoke with a mouthful of food.
But she was so cute, Bobbi didn't have the heart to tell her she looked like a mess, so she just took a towel and wiped the child's face.
"Hey, Shortie." Mack came over for a cookie. "You look like you just woke up." He ruffled her hair.
"I slept 'till three!" Apparently, she was proud of that. "And don't do that! My hair's a mess!"
"I'll fix it for you after you finish your oatmeal." Bobbi smoothed some those unruly curls down. "And don't shove it all in your mouth. It's not going anywhere."
"Okay and cookies after, right?"
"Cookies after."
Selena grinned as she finished the entire bowl and put it in the sink.
"Okay, oatmeal sugar for you and chocolate chip for Skye." Bobbi handed her the cookies, sensing the new tension in the room. "Go find your sister."
"Okay! Later Bobbi! Later Mack! Bye Fitz!"
"He's getting better and at the same time, it's like he's getting worse." Mack ran a hand over his face, referring to Fitz, who had been fiddling with something, but was now lost in thought.
"Give him time. What he went through was really traumatic and he needs to heal emotionally more than anything that's physical." Bobbi put a hand on the gentle giant's shoulder before making her way out the door. "Talk to him, maybe he'll open up."
Mack smiled as he watched her leave before turning his attention back to the daydreaming scientist. "Staring off into space there, Turbo?" He asked, getting himself something from the fridge.
"Uh…i-it's Skye's bio-meter watch." Fitz stuttered. "It was damaged in the cave in." He finished his thought before using some tweezers to look at parts of the item.
"That records her heart rate?" Mack asked.
Fitz nodded. "And skin temperature, lots of data…...If I can fix it, I might be able to get a better...…" The Scotsman struggled to find the word he was looking for. "…...Uh, like a-a snapshot of what happened down there. I can't make any sense of it just now, anyway. The…...data in my brain is jumbled today."
"I'll get my small electronics kit." Mack offered his help. "You know, you can start tinkering. You know, working with my hands always cleared my head."
At the mention of his head, Fitz perked up. "How is it…..your head, since—"
"—I told you. It's not gonna help to give you a play by play." Mack snapped at him.
Fitz was hardly phased and kept pushing. "I've never known you to be afraid to talk about anything."
"Yeah, well you didn't feel it…...and I can't describe it so…"
"Well it's not good to keep things to yourself, Mack. I know what you're going through."
"Really?" Mack was nearly at his breaking point. "You know what it's like to lose control, to be trapped inside your own body, unable to tell it what to do? To watch yourself hurt the people that you care about?!"
And without any reciprocate anger or malice, Fitz responded with a simple, "Yes."
"I'm sorry, buddy." Mack apologized as his anger dissipated and he realized that he was really snapping at the wrong person.
"It's okay."
"I'm a little on edge. I guess I need to keep myself busy." After looking at Skye in her cell, munching on her cookie and talking to her little sister, who was laughing at something funny she had said, he continued. "Hey, can you request access to the schematics of the base? I want to double check the ventilation systems and make sure the quarantine is fully isolated. I don't want anyone else to fall prey to this alien crap."
"With a prisoner exchange? Using Bakshi out in the open like that, it's dangerous strategy sir." Bobbi added her two-cents to their current situation.
"I know it's high risk, but we have a small window to take advantage of HYDRA's lack of leadership." Coulson explained his motives.
But Hunter wasn't having any of it. "It puts us out on a limb."
Selena watched on as she sat on a stool next to her sister's cell. The team was having a meeting about something she didn't really care to know the details about, but as the discussion grew more and more heated, she wondered how much she really didn't know and understand about current events.
"With a chance to deliver a crushing blow to those responsible for Trip's death. I'll take it." Coulson responded.
"Responsible, huh?" To say that Mack was upset by the whole situation was understatement.
"You have something to say Mack?"
"Plenty, but I'll keep it to myself."
"Don't mind him, he's just coming down from the worst alien acid trip of all time." Hunter joked.
Clearly, the joke was ill-timed. No one laughed.
"That's not funny." Fitz frowned.
"Just trying to lighten the mood, mate."
"Yeah, well Mack didn't ask for this to happen to him." Fitz watched as Mack turned his back towards them.
"Of course not." Hunter nodded, that isn't what he meant.
Selena knew this was going to get out of hand and looked at Skye to see how she was holding up.
If her big sister wasn't scared, why should she be scared?
"No one asked for any of this to happen." May tried to be the voice of reason. "HYDRA forced our hand and now Coulson plans to force theirs."
"Did they? Did HYDRA force our hand?"
Selena's hands shot up to cover her ears as Mack's voice grew angrier and louder.
She wasn't in a foster home anymore. She didn't need to be afraid. That was a long time ago.
They were just talking loud. They weren't going to hurt each other.
"It's okay Selena. It's okay." Skye tried to comfort the eleven year old as best she could without being able to touch her. "You're okay."
"Calm down Mack." Bobbi tried.
She hated arguments with a passion. She'd heard enough and involved herself in enough of them to know that.
"Repeatedly, but we have a chance here—" Coulson was cut off by Mack, who was only getting angrier.
"—Or did we hand them detailed plans and the locations of that city?"
"HYDRA took them when they took Skye." Coulson stepped closer to him, refusing to back down.
Selena's hands were tightly cupped around her ears, attempting to block out the noise. Her breath picked up as the argument got more intense and she didn't know what to do with herself.
She didn't like fighting.
Mr and Mrs. Matthews were always fighting.
"We never had anything to fight over before you brought that kid into our house!" Mr. Matthews screamed at his wife. "I told you, we didn't need one!"
"We get money in the bank with this kid Allen!" His wife defended herself. "She's just a stupid kid! All we have to do is feed her!"
"I don't want that kid in my house!" Allen threw an empty beer bottle at Selena, but she screamed and ran out of the way, locking herself in a closet. "She's useless! I don't know what you thought we were going to get out of this Karen, but she needs to go! I can't stand her! She belongs on the streets! She's a good-for-nothin' street rat!"
"I'm not there anymore." Selena rocked back and forth. "I'm not there anymore." Selena shakily whispered to herself. "I'm okay. Skye said I'm okay, so I must be okay."
"Are you saying we shouldn't have gone in to save her?"
"I'm okay. Skye's okay. We're okay." Selena brought her knees up to her chest. Why was this all coming back to her now? She was fine before!
"I'm saying there wouldn't have been anything to take if you and Skye hadn't been obsessed with the alien messages in your head!"
Selena's heart lurched to her throat as the screaming continued, and it was getting harder and harder to convince herself that she was safe.
She wanted Trip.
They wouldn't be fighting if Trip was here.
And even if they did, he would hold her and make sure she was okay.
He wouldn't let her be afraid.
"I'm okay. I am okay."
Once the harsh words left Mack's mouth, everything stood still.
If they had listened closely, they could've heard Selena whispering to herself to calm herself down.
"Alright, let's all just—" Bobbi started, but was cut off by Coulson.
"This isn't about blame."
"No one would've left Skye there. That's not what he's saying." Fitz tried to amend.
"We should've left her at that blasted orphanage where she belongs! She doesn't deserve a family!"
So many things were racing through Selena's mind, she couldn't catch her breath! What was happening?
Why were her hands shaking? Why did her chest hurt? Why was she crying?
"I shouldn't have to ask any of you to save one of our own."
"You never ask!" Mack growled, coming toe to toe with Coulson. "You just give orders, no matter how cracked out they are!"
Skye had been trying to focus on her sister this entire time they had been forced to watch this unfold, but now she was getting nervous.
Her heart rate was speeding up, causing the monitors to beep like crazy and everything inside the pod started to shake.
"Mack, you'd do well to remember your rank." May advised.
"Really?" Hunter scoffed. "Rank? At a time like this? I'll tell you what you can do with your—"
"—Not helping Hunter." Bobbi rolled her eyes.
"Guys, stop." Skye tried to quiet them down as the shaking and beeping got worse.
But she wasn't loud enough, they didn't hear her.
"No, it's cathartic. Do you have any thoughts of your own, or do you just parrot his?"
"Coulson's only trying to stop HYDRA." May's voice was calm, void of emotion.
"We didn't stop anything! We unleashed something on the planet!" Mack fired back.
"Stop!" Selena screamed to no avail. The blows just kept coming. "Stop! Leave me alone! Please?!"
"Leave you alone?! You destroy everything when I leave you alone!"
"No!"
"Shut up!"
"Please?!"
"Please?" Skye pleaded.
"No one knows what happened yet." Fitz didn't believe there was any need to panic. Yet.
"Trip averted disaster. It could've been a lot worse! Mack and Skye made it out alive!" May interjected.
Skye grabbed a can that had been rattling on a metal tray and sighed when the noise stopped.
"That's enough!" Coulson had had it. "If Trip was here, he wouldn't be arguing. He wouldn't be complaining. He would be gearing up to do what needs to be done. Yes, we're dealing with forces we don't understand, but HYDRA I do understand." He took a deep breath and faced everyone else. "I want everyone ready when the sun comes up, end of discussion." He finished before walking away.
Everyone else, save for Bobbi, followed.
She looked at Skye and gave her an encouraging smile. "Hey, it isn't your fault. Mack is just upset. This will blow over in a few days."
"Yeah."
"Hey." Bobbi turned her attention to the eleven year old girl, who hadn't moved a muscle. "Selena, it's okay."
When she reached out and touched her, Selena had jerked away so fast, she almost fell off of the stool. If Bobbi hadn't grabbed her, she would've. "No."
"Selena, it's okay." Bobbi had no idea the argument was going to affect her like this. "Look at me. It's Bobbi and Skye. Everything is okay."
"I c—can't breathe." Selena's breath was choppy. "I—I can't…"
"Help me!"
"Trip! No!"
"Skye!"
"Stop it! You're hurting him!"
"Stop it, or I'll shoot!"
"Fitz! Fitz!"
"Yes you can." Bobbi remained calm, motioning for Skye to stay quiet. "Keep looking at me. Tell me five things you see."
"I c—can't…"
"Yes you can. Do it."
Selena sobbed and looked around the room. "M—Microwave….Chair….Table…T—The door…and my shoes….."
"Three things you can feel."
"My heartbeat….." Selena began to calm down significantly. "Your hands….and my socks."
"Two things you can hear." Skye caught on.
"Your voice and Bobbi's voice."
"And one thing you can smell." Bobbi finished.
"Cookies." Of course.
"Feel better?" Bobbi tugged on one of the braids she had done for the child hours before.
"Yes." No. Not really.
"I'll leave you two alone then. Everyone argues sometimes, it's okay." The blonde smiled before leaving the room.
"Are you okay?" Skye asked the young girl.
"I think so." Selena let out a deep breath. "Are you okay? Your heart was beating fast."
"I'm okay." Skye tried to reassure her. "I promise. Don't worry about me."
The two sat in silence for a while before Skye opened up another conversation.
"Does that happen to you often?"
"What?" Selena furrowed her eyebrows.
"The panic attack you just had. Does it happen a lot?"
"Sometimes.' Selena shrugged. "It goes away after a while."
"Why did you have one just now?"
"Cause everybody was yelling."
"Yelling scares me too." Skye admitted, watching Selena get up and stand up in front of her. "But it's okay. Things are different now."
"How do you know that?" Selena asked, pressing a hand up against the glass.
"Because no one here would ever hurt us. I won't let it happen." Skye reciprocated the action.
And that's how the two of them stayed for the next few hours.
Face to face. Hand in hand. With only the glass separating them.
A/N: Okay, so we're finally back to where we were before :). I had to modify the chapter and I think I made it a little more intense than it was originally. From here on out, I might have to dive deeper into Selena's anxiety and her thought process. She has so much trauma by this point, it would be odd to ignore it. The team isn't going to catch on as quickly though. :(