Chapter Three | Every Crew Needs a Witch

"Eh?" One of the cooks sneered at Gin, a heavyset man with arms as thick as Quinn's thighs. "You got any money?"

"D'you take lead?" Gin laughed, cocking the pistol he'd snatched off the marine and aiming it at the cook's head.

"Oh for- Gin," Quinn interrupted, reaching out with a trembling hand and pushing the pistol down. She pointed up at the ceiling, where a massive, splintered hole gaped down at them. "I fix your ceiling, you able to feed us?"

"Fix it first, you can get some food after."

A foot planted itself against the cook's cheek and in an instant he was launched to the other side of the room. Quinn blinked as the waiter, a blonde man with the strangest eyebrows she'd ever seen was kneeling in front of her, cooing and simpering. "Please ignore my co-worker. He doesn't know how to treat a woman," he effused, stars in his eyes. "I can make something for you this instant, my dear. No payment necessary."

Unimpressed, Quinn raised an eyebrow at the man. "And my friend?"

The waiter looked at Gin as if he'd just noticed him, and his eyes glazed over with resignation. "Of course, my dear. Anything for a beauty such as yourself."

"Alright. Uh- I'm guessing it's mostly seafood here so uh- fuck it. You got anything that's just straight up filling?"

"Of course, of course!" the waiter (cook?) cheered, practically spinning as he flounced towards the kitchen.

"Just our luck they have a pervert workin' here," Gin muttered, winking at her.

"I don't give a shit who feeds me at this point."

"Fair. That other guy would've probably kicked my ass."

"Really?"

Grinning, Gin set the pistol down. "Can barely lift the damn thing. I'da been fucked one way or another."

Someone shuffled over to the table and Quinn looked up to see what she assumed to be a viking in a chef's hat, judging by the braided moustache that fell damn near to his gut. "You said you'll fix that hole in my ceiling?"

"You the head chef?" The man nodded, and Quinn hummed. "Sure thing. Don't have any cash, so I have to find a different way to pay, right?"

"Aye. You'd be doing me a hell of a favour. See those buffoons over there?" he asked, pointing at a far-away table. Sitting at it was a boy in a straw-hat, a red haired woman casually sipping on a glass of wine, a guy with a very, very long nose, and a man with three swords (three?) and dull green hair.

"Yeah, I see 'em."

"Shot a cannon through my bedroom and knocked that hole in the ceiling. That captain of theirs has got his head on alright, but I was going to have him work off the repairs and I have a feeling I'd end up out of pocket if he did."

"Cannon? Pretty sure it was the marines who shot that cannon."

"You don't say?" The chef's lip jutted out in thought, and he frowned at the group. "Thought that straw-hat kid was just pulling my leg."

"Nah. If anyone would know, it's us two," Quinn said, gesturing to herself ang Gin. "Seeing as we were locked up in the brig without food for the last… how long were we down there?"

"Two weeks."

"Two weeks. Jesus. How are we still breathing?"

How am I even conscious right now?

Gin frowned at her, but instead of saying anything he just pointed at the sky, at which Quinn nodded.

"Well, you keep your word after you eat and I'll be more than pleased. Also, the name's Zeff," the chef said, shaking Quinn's hand. "Enjoy your meal."

He hobbled away, and that was when Quinn noticed he had an honest to god peg-leg and all her assumptions about this world were immediately proven true. And as he left, their table was interrupted by not one visitor, but two – the waiter from before dropping two steaming plates of fried rice in front of herself and Gin, and the straw-hat boy she'd spotted pulling out a chair and inviting himself to join them, a massive grin on his face.

"I heard you're gonna' fix the restaurant!" the boy cheered. Quinn just glanced at him, letting out a quiet 'shush' before she began to dig in. The rice, oh my god, the rice. She couldn't help but let out a quiet moan, tearing away at the plate and barely taking the time to breathe between bites. Quinn didn't know if it was because she'd been starving or if the food was just that good, because she couldn't stop shoveling it into the trash compactor that was her mouth.

It took herculean effort to draw her eyes away from the food and look at Gin who, just like herself, had been reduced to an animal as he damn near buried his nose in the plate, just so he could bring the time it took to scoop up the rice and shove it in his face to a minimum.

Okay, the food was just that good.

By the time she'd pushed through the entire plate, Quinn wanted to sob with relief and mourn the fact that she could no longer enjoy the goddamn ambrosia that had been placed in front of her. Either way, Quinn pushed the empty plate away and leaned back, hands across her belly. She looked through half-lidded eyes at Gin, who wore an expression of pure satisfaction that she knew she wore as well.

"Holy shit that was good," she groaned, a blissful sigh escaping her lips.

"You're tellin' me."

"This place's cooking is the best, isn't it?"

"Pretty damn good."

"I know, right!"

Through one eye, she spied the straw-hat kid still grinning at her, arms on the table and his chin nestled between them. "You gonna' keep talking at me or are you gonna' tell me your name?"

"I'm Monkey D. Luffy! I'm going to be the King of the Pirates!"

"Is that so?" she mused, Gin choking on his own spit across from her.

Putting his hand out as if to stop Luffy, Gin gave him a look like that of a concerned parent. "Kid…"

"Yeah?"

"You goin' to the Grand Line?"

"Of course!"

"Don't."

"Eh?" Luffy pouted. "Why?"

"Because it's a goddamn death-trap, kid."

"Pfft. No. I'm gonna' go."

"Seriously, you don't get it. We had five thousand men, five thousand, and they were gone in the blink of an eye."

"He's not lying," Quinn interrupted, looking the kid in the eye. She didn't know how strength worked here, how magic could be wielded, and if the idea of a single man cutting down an entire armada in the span of fifteen minutes hadn't been so absurd she'd have written off this boy entirely. But… there was something in that grin and the sheer, exuberant energy the kid exuded that made her doubt Gin's words.

"I'm gonna' go to the Grand Line." Luffy crossed his arms and for good measure, raised his chin at them indignantly. "And no one can stop me!"

"Seriously, it's- hell. Fuck it. It's your funeral, kid."

"Whatever, whatever. Hey, you! Scary lady."

Quinn pointed at herself. "Scary lady?"

"Yeah! You said you're gonna' fix the old man's restaurant?"

"Oh yeah." Taking out her wand, Quinn pointed it at the ceiling. The restaurant fell silent as the splintered chunks of wood still resting on the floor flew up and fused together, slotting into the jagged mess like it had never been broken in the first place. "Where's the rest of the damage?"

Luffy all but teleported beside her, gaping at Quinn with wonderment. He oohed and aahed as he looked between her and her wand, his smile growing wider and wider until it stretched well past the point any human's mouth could. She pulled away, but Luffy only closed the gap, getting closer and closer to her until he yelped, the red-haired woman he was with yanking him away from Quinn.

"Leave her alone, Luffy."

"But she's so cool!" he whined, grabbing at the air like a greedy toddler. "Scary lady! Join my crew!"

"Is that from a Devil Fruit?" the woman asked, still holding Luffy by the scruff of the neck which- wait she was actually holding him by the scruff, not his shirt.

"Is that from a Devil Fruit?"

"Yeah." She lifted Luffy higher, his pout drooping further with every inch he was raised off the ground. "He's a-"

"I'm a rubber man!"

"-rubber man."

Well, he certainly looked rubbery.

The woman dropped him and Luffy groaned, rubbing his back. "Oi, Nami. Is she your sister?" he asked, pointing at Quinn.

"My what?"

He brought both hands up and grabbed his hair, waving it around. "You're both red."

Quinn felt a hand against her shoulder and looked up to see Gin, the man looking at Luffy with poorly hidden amusement and more than a little pity. "I gotta' get out of here before those marines wake up, but I just wanted to say thanks. That cook woulda' beat the shit out of me if you hadn't stepped in."

"Oh. I should probably-"

"Nah. I don't think you have to go anywhere," he said, pointing over her shoulder at the head chef, Zeff, who was still looking up at the ceiling with astonishment. "Think that guy is gonna' try and hire you to be a handyman or somethin'."

"Been here all of twenty minutes and I've already got a job?"

"Don't sell yourself short, Witch." Gin gave her another clap on the shoulder and wandered away, turning around at the entrance to throw her a jaunty salute before he was swallowed up by the sunlight that poured through the open doors.

It was then that Quinn realized she was completely and utterly alone, something that felt both liberating and more than a little terrifying once it had settled in. Luffy, whether he sensed Quinn's sudden anxiety or if it was just because he was a social bulldozer, launched himself into the seat next to her and laid his head on the table, his grin now reduced to a thin, but no less sincere smile.

"So, you ate a Devil Fruit too?"

"Uh- yeah. I'm a… Witch?"

"That's so cool! So you can do all sorts of witch stuff, right? Can you turn me into a frog?"

"You want me to turn you into a frog?"

Luffy nodded frantically, sitting up straight with his hands planted on his knees, almost vibrating with excitement. "Uh…" She looked at Nami? Nami, and gave her a look as if to say should I? At which, the woman just shrugged. "Sure, I guess."

With a wave of her wand a little frog sat in Luffy's place, ribbitting loudly and almost falling on its back as it tried to look at itself. Another ribbit, this one easily identifiable as pure, exuberant joy, as Frog-Luffy stretched his goddamn arm across the room and poked the long nosed guy in the cheek with his tiny frog hand. The guy then turned, following the arm as it snapped back into place, and it was only when he saw it was a frog that had poked him did he scream.

"Luffy's a frog! Luffy got turned into a frog!" He pointed at Quinn, who still had her wand pointed at Luffy, who still had his little green hand pointed at his crewmate. "That witch turned Luffy into a frog!"

The swordsman next to him took a deep swig from a bottle of wine and set it on the table, and as he stood his thumb flicked at the guard of one of his swords, just barely pushing it out of its sheath.

"Oh, fuck that," Quinn muttered, immediately cancelling the transfiguration.

"Zoro! You jerk! You made her change me back!"

"Eh? You wanted to be a frog?"

"Yeah! Scary lady, turn me into a frog again! And, and- you have to join my crew!"

"Kid- Luffy, I don't even know you. And… I don't know how I feel about going out to sea with an actual child."

"I'm not a kid, I'm seventeen, almost eighteen!"

"Bullshit."

"Ha! You sound just like Ace. I'm really seventeen!" he insisted.

"Nami?"

"Yeah, Scary Lady?"

"It's Quinn."

"If you say so," Nami said, and Quinn could tell she was completely intent on referring to her as Scary Lady for as long as she could.

Maybe Quinn would turn her into a goddamn frog.

And honestly, she wasn't scary! Was she? Sure, Ginny had always said she had… what was it? Angry eyebrows? But she always said it in an affectionate way.

"Is your… Captain? Is he really seventeen? He doesn't act like it."

"Not my captain. And yeah, I'm pretty sure he's not lying. I don't think he actually knows how to lie."

"Not your captain?"

"I'm just along for the ride."

"Nami's my navigator!"

Quinn nodded. "Is she, now?"

"Yup!"

All Nami did was sigh and walk away, snatching the bottle of wine away from Zoro (of course the swordsman's name was Zoro) and topping off her glass, from which she took a hefty gulp.

"Who's the other guy on your crew?" Quinn asked, to which Luffy proudly replied, "Usopp! He's my sniper!"

"So… sniper, navigator, swordsman… if I joined your crew, what would I be?"

"The Witch, obviously." He frowned at Quinn as if she'd just asked him the stupidest question in the world. "And that means you do all sorts of witch things! Like turning people into frogs when they want you to… or when they don't want you to because frogs are really easy to punch. You can do cool magic shows and stuff too, right?"

"Like this?" she asked, waving her wand through the air. A trail of shining sparks was left in its wake, glittering with every colour of the rainbow. At Luffy's awed expression and the way his other crew members looked on, Quinn smiled widely and twirled her wand. The sparks danced, forming the silhouette of a boy in a straw-hat that leapt and danced, bursts of light exploding around him. One of the crew, Usopp, got up and wandered over to her table, his eyes shining with excitement as he sat down next to Luffy and watched Quinn perform, his previous fear of her completely forgotten.

These light shows were something she did for Teddy whenever she stopped by Andromeda's house. A little dancing man prancing through the air, miniature fireworks going off around him with each and every leap. God, the kid loved the shows she put on, and-

The lights went out and Quinn's arm fell, her gaze locked in the distance.

Teddy.

She'd never see the little guy again. Her godson, Andromeda, left all alone and – fuck, she didn't really visit all that often and she should have, she really should have, but she was so busy with work and-

He was turning six in a month. Six years old, more than halfway to Hogwarts, and she'd never see him again.

"I'm sorry," Quinn whispered, monotone. "I need some fresh air."

She stood, wide eyed, and wandered outside the restaurant, hands instantly finding one of the rails as she followed it around the bend of the ship. Quinn walked, slowly, and fumbled at her jacket pocket for a pack of cigarettes that wasn't there. Cursing, she realized the marines had probably nicked them. "Fuckin' scumbags, stole my smokes," she hissed, smacking her palm against the hand-rail.

"If I may?" a voice spoke, and Quinn glanced towards it to see the cook from earlier holding out a cigarette.

"Cheers," Quinn uttered, taking and lighting it with a snap of her fingers.

"A woman of many talents, eh?"

"Not the ones I need to know."

"Please, don't fret my dear, I'm certain I can-"

"Can you shut the fuck up, please?" Sighing, Quinn shook her head. "I'm sorry, just- give it a rest, alright? I'm gay anyways." She raised her hand. "But thank you, you know, for the smoke. Well, actually- where the hell do you get these out on the bloody ocean?"

"Mail order?"

"Ah. Birds?"

"Gulls."

"Huh. Back home they use owls."

The cook smiled at her, none of his previous debonair attitude behind it. "I'm Sanji."

"Quinn," she replied, reaching over and shaking his hand. "Thanks again for the food. Best I've ever had."

"Ah, you're far too kind."

"No, seriously. It was bloody good, and I'm saying that as someone who loves to cook. I've never had anything like it before. Actually-" she pointed at him, taking another drag as she did. "How did you pack that much flavour in the rice? MSG? I've never used it myself but I've heard it can do plenty of heavy lifting when it comes to seasoning."

"MSG? I don't know what that is, Quinn, my friend, my muse. In fact, the special ingredient in all my food is-"

"If you say love I'm going to smack you."

"Lo- lard? Lard. Tallow. Fresh animal fats of all varieties."

"Sounds about right."

They both smirked, and Quinn huffed quietly, turning her gaze back to the ocean. On and on it stretched, an infinite expanse of shining blue that, if she looked closely, she thought she could spot a small boat sailing away in the distance. She pointed at it with her cigarette, her other hand shielding her eyes from the sun. "That my friend sailing away over there?"

"The ruffian? Yes, that'd be him. He said he was going to go look for his captain."

"Good luck with that. He's probably been at the bottom of the ocean these last two weeks."

"Was what he said true?"

"What, about his whole fleet getting taken out?" Sanji nodded. "Every word of it was true. Saw it with my own eyes, actually. Almost got chopped in half by some guy who I couldn't even see, he was so far away."

"The bastard, attacking a woman like that!"

"Seriously, what the hell is your problem?"

"Me?"

"Yeah, you. I'm not some goddamn damsel in distress."

"I never meant anything of the sort! Simply that such beauty shouldn't be marred by-"

"Stuff it."

"If you insist, my dear."

Completely mystified, Quinn shook her head and stubbed out the cigarette, flicking it into the sea. "Seriously, mate. Keep it in your pants, or you'll never get yourself a girlfriend. Acting like that is bloody annoying. You're gonna' get punched in the mouth being disrespectful like that."

"Disrespectful!?"

"Yes, disrespectful! It's fuckin' annoying. It's infantilizing, being treated like a bloody child."

"Hey! Cook guy!" Both Sanji and Quinn turned to see Luffy standing behind them with his arms crossed, not displaying a hint of shame for interrupting their conversation (even though Quinn was plenty happy to have it be interrupted). "Join my crew!"

"I refuse."

"I refuse your refusal!"

Quinn snorted loudly. She was starting to like this kid.

"You can't do that!"

"I just did!"

"You don't even know my name!"

"It's Sanji! I heard you say hi to Qui- Quon? Qwun? Witch lady," he settled on, pointing at Quinn. "You cook and you fight. You'll be a great pirate!"

"Oh, you can remember his name but you can't remember mine?"

"Quinn!" Luffy shouted, fist slamming down into his flat palm.

"'Attaboy."

If it were possible, and it was, Luffy grinned even wider. Really, it should have been frightening to look at but somehow it hardly bothered her. "So, Sanji! You're joining my crew!"

"I'm not!" Sanji shook his head and sighed, flicking his cigarette overboard and letting it drift alongside Quinn's. "I owe that shitty cook Zeff too much to just quit."

"Ah." Nodding sagely, Luffy crooked a finger around his chin. "You're protecting his treasure."

"Yeah, yeah. Something like that. Listen, it was nice chatting with you but I have to get back to work," Sanji said, offering Quinn a short bow and then flitting through a side door, back into the kitchen.

"I like him. Don't you?"

"I could do without the womanizing, but… he seems like an alright guy. Just a bit confused."

"Well, you're my second mate, so you have to like him!"

"I'm your what, now?"

"Second mate! Zoro is my first mate and you're a fighter too, that means you're my second mate."

Before she could muster a retort another voice rang out. "Hey, Witch!"

Oh god, who now?

"Yeah?" She asked, glancing over to see Zeff hobbling around the corner of the restaurant. "Chef."

"Just Zeff is fine," he tutted, waving her off. "Mighty fine work you did with the ceiling there. Never seen anything like it before, and I've seen a lot of things in my life."

"Is it that strange?"

"For the East Blue? Absolutely. For the Grand Line? Not so much."

"I'll keep that in mind."

"Eh, so long as you follow this brat I think you'll be in good hands."

"Yeah? What makes you think I'm going with him?"

Zeff gave her a knowing look, his smile wry. "You're on his crew already, you just haven't clued into it yet."

"Whatever. Gin seemed to think you had a job for me. If that's true, I think I might stick around here for a while."

"Well, I could certainly use someone who can fix up this old heap o' scrap when my cooks end up kicking some poor marine through a table. Not to mention, you still haven't worked your magic on the hole in my bedroom wall," he added, pointing at the top level where, from this angle, Quinn could see a gaping, splintered hole that looked distinctly Luffy shaped.

She looked at Luffy, back at the hole, then back to Luffy again. He at least had the decency to look slightly ashamed. "It wasn't my fault," he groused. "That pink-haired bastard shot a cannon at our ship."

"Fullbody?"

"I think that was his name?"

"Yeah, that was the asshole who starved me. I'm not even a pirate and he just took a potshot at the raft I was on. No warning, no nothing."

Clicking his tongue, Zeff swore under his breath. "Sounds like the marines to me. Sanji took care of him, and last I checked Fullbody was still unconscious. He's all yours if you want him."

"Fuck that, I'm not getting on the wrong side of the marines. Fingers crossed that guy just forgets I exist, and it's not as if he'll want to report to his superiors that he let two prisoners go missing after he'd already beaten and starved them."

"Whatever you say," Zeff drawled. "But don't be surprised when he does tell his superiors about you, because the marines would be very interested in someone who managed to escape custody, especially after being beaten and starved."

"What?" What kind of insane world is this?

"You come from a remote island or something? You're pretty green around the gills."

"Something like that."

"Well, whatever good you've heard about the marines… forget most of it. Not all of it, mind you, but most of it. Anyways, you'll have a roof over your head and hot food so long as you stay here. Marines don't much care for floating restaurants, and we've got our fair share of runaways working the kitchen and front of house."

"Thanks. And I'll head up to take care of the rest of the damage. Show me the way?"

"Gladly."

Just as Quinn went to follow Zeff, Luffy gently took hold of her arm. "Hey."

"Yeah?"

"We're going to wait for you, okay?"

"Luffy…"

"Nope! I refuse your refusal before you can refuse!"

She couldn't help but laugh, shaking her head at the kid turned captain. "Whatever you say, but don't get your hopes up, alright? I know you and Zeff are up to something, but it's not going to fly by without me noticing."

"Fly? Why would you fly? Wait, can you fly?"

"I can float."

"Awesome."

Laughing again, Quinn patted Luffy on the cheek. "Don't go wasting your time waiting for me, alright? Otherwise you'll be waiting a long, long time."

With that said, she followed Zeff, once more wondering if the people she'd run into so far were the norm for this place, or if they were just as mad as she thought they were.