Becoming Lavinia Herbert

by InternationalPessimist

A fairly standart "Reborn as a Villaness" story. After awakening as Lavinia Herbert, one of the vilians in her favorite Visual Novel, our protagonist sets out to change the fate of the various girls of the seminar for the better. Should be easy. But will she really achieve this without problems along the way? And can she manage live her live in Victorian London?

2. The rest of your new life

2. The rest of your new life
Just a few weeks. That kept running through my head. Just a few weeks until Sarah will go through hell. Since I was halfway coming to terms with the fact that I would now suddenly be the antagonist in my favorite children's book, I naturally asked what anyone in this situation would ask. How can I use my knowledge of the story to create a better ending. The first thing I had to do, of course, was figure out which version. After all, a book that is more than a hundred years old has a few adaptations. Lucky it is apparently the Visual Novel. Luck in misfortune. At least this is where I know my way around best. But then I realized the gigantic difficulties that lay ahead. And most of it had nothing to do with the story.
Seriously. Why does anyone wish themselves into a story? Sure, Isekai has its appeal as a genre in the sense of "That could happen to me!" But seriously, that mostly shows ideal versions. Sure, I've been reborn in my favorite story.
Why reborn, actually? I don't remember dying and we are in the middle of the story, sixteen years after Lavinia's birth. I have her memories, but I am a different person. With Lavinia's memories.
And she's not at home. I can shout all I want in here. Back to the debate. Almost always people are reborn as nobles, princesses or just rich. The new worlds they live in are always sooo accommodating to them, their hobbies, their personalities and never have any problems with any form of discrimination.

And here I am, a lesbian girl in Victorian London. I actually liked the modern society of the 21st century. And the technology. Besides, I have so much to look forward to: In my thirties to an economic crisis, I'll be fifty to World War I and the Spanish Flu, I'll be sixty to the crises of the Decaying Empires, and if I survive all that comes World War II. At least I am the only heiress of a rich family. But the money belongs to my father or later to a husband. So I can use it very limited at the moment. And let's not even talk about legal restrictions of this time. Hooray for sexism.
And I can't "invent" discoveries from my world either. I was a philosophy student and not a mechanic, damn it. I have no idea how these things work. And I can't come up with any great new philosophies either, no one cares or prints anything like that in this day and age coming from a woman.
In addition, I would need a man as a legal guardian. However, I have no desire to marry, and I can only hope that my new father will not include that as an item for inheritance in his will. I should already be thinking about how to stall him without him getting the idea of forcing me.
But this marriage problem shows a very different problem: Why should I waste my energy on improving the story when I have a whole life ahead of me that probably won't go my way? "Sarah, the Little Princess" went on for a little over a year in almost all versions except the original. My new life, hopefully, longer. Even if I disappear at the same age I disappeared from my old life, that would be ten years. So why so much focus on one small section?
For three reasons: First, the story is the only fixed point I have. It's familiar to me, it's where I know my way around. Outside of that, I'm pretty much at a loss, since Lavinia didn't know much else and I'm not at all familiar with this time, aside from what I've read in passing or ironically in this story. I can make a difference here with my knowledge instead of just standing around anxiously without a plan.
Secondly, it's a kind of occupational therapy. Focusing on this gives me something to do and keeps me from completely panicking because I'm suddenly here. In addition, "learning by doing". If I find my way around here, I'll be able to do that later outside the seminar as well. And since we are at least nominally in a school here, my lack of knowledge doesn't necessarily stand out. I thank whomever for giving me Lavinia's memories in addition to mine. So
not only do I know the behaviors of the time and Lavinia's in particular, I have information that wasn't in the story that way. Would be embarrassing if I didn't recognize my current father.
And third, it is ethically imperative that I help the other girls in the seminary. Lavinia no longer needs help, I am at peace with my identity and sexuality. Yes me. I am Lavinia Herbert. My old identity is practically dead, there is no point in hanging on to it. I am Lavinia Herbert with new memories and a new outlook on life.
And this Lavinia does care about the suffering of others. I may not be able to make the inconceivable misery in Whitechapel or elsewhere at this time go away or even begin to alleviate it, I simply don't have the means, but I can reduce or prevent the suffering in this seminary. I know what Sarah will be going through. I know what Becky is going through, I know what is happening and will happen to Jessie and Ermengarde. And I have the opportunity by knowing about it to change it for the better. And that obligates me to at least try. I can fail, but try I must, because I can't just stand by and ignore everything like the old Lavinia. An insight or result of my 21st century morality? Who cares, certainly not those I help as long as it helps them.
And I want to help, as I said. But in order to help, I have to break with the old Lavinia. No one would accept help from her for fear of manipulation. And no one would believe her or help her
when it matters. Besides, it would create speculation and mistrust if Lavinia suddenly behaved differently. I want to behave differently, but I have to present it as a natural process. And my hysterical breakdown after waking up as Lavinia is the perfect justification for behaving differently. Lavinia has realized something and now lives for it, therefore to change. No one needs to know that the reason for the breakdown was memories from another time.
With the intention of changing Lavinia to change her environment, I have begun to apologize to all those whom the old Lavinia has wronged.
Even though I don't really feel guilty. Other person and all that. I would have behaved differently in the same situation, after all. But for the others I am the same person only with a different
behavior. And this "different" Lavinia wouldn't be believable if she didn't seek forgiveness for her old behavior. Besides, I don't want to profit from her old behavior, which is why I had tried to distance myself from Jessie. And Jessie wanted to remain my friend. This surprised me at first, in the story Jessie was very unhappy by Lavinia's behavior, but then I realized two things: First, we are before Lavinia's worst abuse of Jessie's friendship and second, she can still hope to escape a forced marriage through me.
However, I am now quite happy that we are friends. Because without the toxicity of the old relationship, this is a very good friendship that I would miss. The opinion of the old Lavinia or the new Lavinia? No matter. I have to finally accept that change goes both ways. I influence Lavinia and she influences me. Together we are something new that, out of pragmatism, still calls itself Lavinia Herbert.

And Lavinia Herbert is on her way to her fourth apology.
The first one towards Jessie went so well that I almost became suspicious that I was missing something. I really didn't expect to stay friends with Jessie. Excuse number two was across from Ermengarde St. John. She just listened to everything silently as I asked her to forgive me for bullying her and then nodded silently. Then she left. She continues to avoid me. But that was to be expected. According to my new memories, I have been mean to her constantly for no reason since we met. Of course she would remain suspicious of me. We would probably never have a really good relationship. Who likes their school bullies anyway. But the beginning is made and as long as
I leave her alone, we should at least be able to be polite to each other. And that's all I want at the moment.
Apology number three was for Lottie Leigh and went rather poorly. After some back and forth, she did accept my apology, but probably more because Miss Minchi came over and practically coerced
her into it. And Lottie insisted that she would only accept my apology if I got her candy and a new doll. Already at this age so manipulative and greedy for profit. She may yet become something. But
she gives me an excuse to go shopping and I should therefore be fine, because so I can buy the necessary things for the
second part of my plan. I just need to persuade Ms. Minchi to let me go off on my own as well, like she allowed Sarah to do. Maybe my father can help. Speaking of Sarah, there's her door. Time for the final and most important apology.