5. Birds and Becky

Permission to go. Finally. I already feel quite limited in just walking around the same house all the time. And the seminar isn't that big or varied.
Anyway, it will be a distraction from the pitfalls of Victorian education that I was so unaware of. When I cursed yesterday, Miss Amelia washed my mouth out with soap and I can still taste it. For the supposedly soft motherly woman, that's pretty harsh punishment. Or at least gross. At least she didn't run to her sister with it. But her presence gives me pause. She wasn't part of the visual novel staff, but here nonetheless. I had assumed I was in the VN since I look like that Lavinia, Jessie like that Jessie, Sarah like that Sarah and so on. But if Miss Amelia is here, what else has changed? Can that interfere with my planning ahead?
After all, there's no reason to assume that this reality has to follow the original story exactly.
Well, not as if I could change that. So off to town we go. But when she overheard that I was going to town, Miss Amelia told me to bring soap, since I'd used up the old one (haha). And then when I said I needed someone to carry it, Miss Minchi sent me to get Becky. I was going to take Jessie, but better not disagree. And now I'm looking for Becky.
Wait, there's Sarah and Ermengarde in the hallway. Sarah will know where to find them. Wait, Ermengarde's crying. What's going on?
What's the best way to proceed? The best thing to do is just ask.
"Hey, what's going on?" Sarah and Ermengarde looked up. "The birdies, they..." What kind of birds? Oh, wait, that nest Ermengarde has outside her window? "You mean the nest outside your window? What about it?" Sarah, who had her arm around Ermengarde's shoulder, replied, "Tybalt climbed into the tree and ate them." Ermengarde let out a sob.
Tybalt? Oh, Miss Minchi's cat that old Lavinia loved to play with. I mostly ignored him. Not that I have anything against cats, quite the contrary, but the critter acts far too much like his owner.
Maybe I should say something. Ermengarde doesn't look good at all.
"Well,... Maybe we should have expected that. I mean, cats eat birds, after all?"
Cats eat birds after all?! Very nice Lavinia, Ermengarde is crying even more now.
Try to fix that somehow. "I mean, it's a natural part of nature. You can't blame Tybalt for what he would naturally do."
That didn't seem to help. Ermengarde looked up. "Im not angry at Tybalt. I'm just sad. Can't you understand that?!"
No I can't. I've never had or lost a pet before.
"I... No... Just wanted to help..." "Lavinia please stop. You're not making it better." Ouch. But Sarah is right. Just ask her about Becky.
"Have any of you seen Becky? I need her help." "She's cleaning my room right now. What do you need her for?" Sarah seems to have already developed a bond with Becky. Good for them both.
"I need help with the groceries. Miss Minchi gave me permission to take Becky with me. Speaking of which, do either of you need anything from town? I could bring something" And without thinking I added, "Maybe a bird for Ermengarde?" Ermengarde just looked at me and then ran away sobbing. What had I...
Oh, damn. That really wasn't very tactful. I looked to Sarah. "I said the wrong thing, didn't I?" "Yes. You might want to leave Eremengarde alone for now." Sarah looked almost pitying. "I understand that you wanted to help, but that really wasn't good." She's right. I really do have to watch what I say. After all, if I don't, Ermengarde will think I'm just pretending to want to help. I have to get out of her way for now so everything can cool down a bit. Not that I had high hopes that Ermengarde would ever want to be my friend. I shook off the thought.
"I'll...go get Becky then. Have a good day, Sarah." I turned and began my walk to Sarah's room. No need to stand in the hallway any longer.

Along the way, my thoughts inevitably wandered toward the letter that had made this excursion possible for me. And with the letter, my thoughts wandered to the father I now had.
My new memories were not clear at this point. His relationship u me is distant, but for what reason? I can't tell from my memories whether I or he is responsible. Moreover, I am not sure I even want a new father, certainly not one with Victorian fathership ideas and Victorian morals.
But no matter what I think, I depend on him. And a good relationship with the person funding me can't be a bad idea.
In addition, I don't have the faintest idea how my existence came about.
From the VN is so far clear that my mother was Indian and is dead. However, I have only circumstantial evidence of how and why she and my father had a relationship. The fact that he accepted me as a daughter and raised and financed me as his own daughter speaks in itself for the fact that it was actually a love relationship.
But certain things make me doubt it. Why did he send me to seminary so early and practically never visited me or let me come to him? Getting rid of the unloved child or just Victorian parenting? Why do I have no knowledge of my mother, other than the portrait in the necklace? Was he trying to hide something, or did old Lavinia deliberately ignore anything that indicated her "half-breed" status? And how did the relationship come about in the first place? A servant in his house in India? And would she have been able to resist his advances at all? Did he really accept me out of love or because he needed an heir? Against it speaks that he could have married again in the meantime and have more children. Or is he no longer able to do so? Questions upon questions and I have no answer. And I can't ask either, because I don't know how my father would react. I can't afford a rift or mistrust. Not now. But the distance also has its good. It will be easier to hide from him that his daughter is no longer one and the same.
Ah, Sarah's room. Time to pick up Becky.
Becky seems to have collapsed from exhaustion again. At least that's the explanation I have for her lying asleep in Sarah's chair. Mariette is nowhere to be seen, but I don't think she would have woken her up. If we follow the timeline of the original story, this is the second time, the first time she made friends with Sarah. I will have limited opportunity, but a good relationship with Becky seems useful to my plan for Sarah.
I shake her awake.

Becky was suddenly awakened by someone gently shaking her. She had fallen asleep again in front of Miss Sarah's fireplace, helped by the warmth and her exhaustion. Cook had been shuffling her around all day and she hadn't had any breakfast.
Drowsy, she straightened up, half expecting to see Miss Sarah or Miss Mariette, but then she saw something purple, looked up, and stared into the face of Miss Lavinia.
She immediately jumped up. "Oh miss, I'm sorry about that. The fire was so hot and I couldn't... Please don't tell Miss Michi, I wouldn't get any supper."
Miss Lavinia, who had not moved a bit from the spot, raised her hands placatingly,
"Please come back down, I won't say anything." Becky thought she had misheard. From all she had heard about Miss Lavinia, she had assumed she would be dragged straight to Miss Minchi. "Really?" was all she could produce. "Really," came the reply.
"I know Sarah doesn't have a problem with it, and this is her room, so what should I complain about." Becky felt like she had just barely escaped damnation. Hesitantly, she asked, " Is there anything I can do for you, miss?"
"Yes, that's why I'm here. Miss Minchi has given me permission to take you shopping in town. I will need help carrying it."
Becky's courage sank. This meant a lot of work and running, on top of the other, and she was already exhausted. "When, miss?" "Now. Will you come with me, please?"
On the way out, Becky tried to give herself courage. How much could Miss Lavinia possibly need?

Okay, what do we have so far? The doll for Lottie, a book about birds as an excuse for Ermengarde, Miss Amelia's soap, rat poison, two warm blankets of cashmere, two warm blankets of wool, two wanting nightgowns, warm undergarments, two pairs of new shoes for work, sandpaper to keep the new shoes from looking new, new pens, a set of blank cards, warm socks, a knife, a long rope, matches, and a set of candles.
With that, I have most of the things I need for my plan, but something essential is still missing.
And a gift for Sarah. My eyes lingered on a bookstore. This one seemed to carry fiction as well. Should I buy something for Sarah? The new Lavinia would do that, but...
I mean, any gift I give her would soon be taken by Miss Minchi, and I don't feel like financing that bitch any further. And Sarah wouldn't be able to enjoy the gift either. But if I give it to her afterwards? As a sign that I want to help her? Continue our friendship, regardless of her status?
I looked in the display. A book caught my eye. Oh, this was too good to ignore.
I told Becky to wait and entered the store. The bookseller asked me what I wanted. "The French edition of Jules Verne's Five Weeks in a Balloon from their display."
Back on the street, I couldn't stop grinning. Sarah would love that book and maybe it would give her some comfort in the weeks ahead.
I think Jules Verne in general would appeal to Sarah. I can hardly wait for him to write 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea.
Oh yes, the other part of the plan. This is where I would need Becky's help. I turned to face her.
Woah, I hadn't considered how much that was to carry. She looks pretty worn out.
I'll have to do something good for her later. But first, this. "Becky, do you know where I can buy canned goods?" I actually didn't. No one had invented the supermarket yet. "There's a grocery store two blocks down that has those, miss." "Even in larger quantities, boxes for example?" I could literally see desperation creeping into Becky's eyes. Hastily, therefore, I added, "You won't have to carry that. I'll have those delivered." Becky exhaled in relief. "There's a wholesaler around the corner that carries those, miss. He delivers too, Miss Minchi has ordered things from there before."
So we went to the wholesaler. It was quite busy there, but one advantage of being a proper young lady is to stand out immediately in such a place. Almost instantly a clerk approached us. "Good afternoon miss. What can I do for you?" "I would like to place an order with them and have it delivered. I would need a larger quantity of canned goods. Pickled meat, fruits and also vegetables, such as sauerkraut. Everything at least one year durable, better still two, for two people. I'll leave the exact contents of the boxes up to them, but it should all be evenly mixed."
Meat for protein and fat, fruits and vegetables for vitamins and against deficiencies, especially scurvy. Can't imagine that not happening with the food Miss Minchi allows her servants to eat. And Becky already has significant deficiency symptoms. She looks more like twelve or thirteen, in no way fifteen. "Do you need baked goods with that, miss, like rusks?" "No." They'll have plenty of bread. "All right, we can handle that. When and where do you want it delivered?" "To Miss Minchi's seminar for selected girls. It would be best to make the delivery tomorrow, Sunday between 10 and 11." Then Miss Minchi and almost everyone else will be at the church, and the whole thing can be brought to my room in secret.
"Good, and how do they pay?" "In cash, half now, the other half tomorrow on delivery. Can you give me an invoice, please?" "Of course. This way please miss." I took the bill. It would cost me the last of my money for the month, but it would be worth it. I signed the bill. And walked with Becky back to the street.
It was time for a snack for me and my companion. I'll take the coffee shop over there. Not necessarily an upscale place, but it does offer hot food. That'll do. I sat down at a table in the back of the guest room off to the side and motioned for Becky to sit down as well.
She looked around anxiously. God, that girl has really been through a lot. And the worst was probably yet to come. "What are we doing here, miss?" "We're having lunch."
Her eyes nearly popped out of her head. "Me too, miss?" "Of course. You helped me a lot, had to carry a lot, and were exhausted before I took you. It would be really unfair not to allow you to strengthen yourself." Was that too much to ask now? But Becky's eyes were already comically wide. "You would really do this for me miss, for me?"
My God, what kind of life has this girl had that she sees such simple gestures as impossible promises of salvation. Instead of answering, I waved to a waiter and ordered soup and drinks for both of us. Coffee and bean soup may be anything but my favorite, but the thick soup would help Becky a lot and I wouldn't trust the water at this time. And we were definitely too young for alcohol. And if I didn't eat that, I think Becky would be very happy to help me.
We ate in silence. Becky seemed to make every effort not to gobble everything down immediately like a starving wolf, and ate with all the table manners she had ever picked up. For a young lady, that would still have been the height of rudeness, and it surprised me how different the sight made me feel. But I reminded myself that we could talk through table manners when she was no longer directly starving.
Eat first, morals later. The meal lasted maybe ten minutes, in the wake of which Becky ate her portion and almost all of mine, since I couldn't warm up to the dish. Next time I'll order one of the sandwiches here.
And there would definitely be a next time. Lending both Becky and later Sarah to go shopping and consequently buying them a meal far away from Miss Minchi would definitely help them a lot.
We made the way back much faster than the way there, despite the extra load.
Apparently, well-fed servants are able to do their work faster and better.
Who would have thought that. Certainly not Miss Minchi.
I took all the groceries to my room along with Becky and thanked her for her help.
Along with what I have planned for tomorrow, I am sure I will soon have her convinced that I am a new, better person.
Enough of that. Time to nurture my relationship with Jessie.

First Apperance of Becky. I cant write a Cockney Accent to save my live, so please just imagine it for her dialogue.