7. The faithful day

Over the last few weeks, Sarah had been waiting eagerly for the post. Each time she hoped to receive a letter from her beloved father.
Ever since he had written to her that he might be in London to visit her on her birthday, she had lost sleep almost every night with excitement. The other girls at the seminar had been easily infected by her excitement, although the majority were probably looking forward to the birthday party rather than her father.
Sarah thought that was understandable; after all, she wouldn't be looking forward to seeing any of the other girls' fathers. But she didn't dwell on these thoughts for long, the anticipation of her birthday was too strong.
Over the last few days, she had infected almost every one of her friends with her anticipation and spent happy days with them. Ermengarde, who had recovered from the death of the little birds and talked to her about her aunt, Lottie, who, despite her spoiled nature, had confessed to her that she tried to love her father as much as Sarah did, Becky, who was almost overflowing with gratitude at her invitation to her birthday and had beamingly presented her with her little home-made cushion as a gift, and finally Jessie, who had shared her dream of a trip around the world. Sarah's thoughts lingered on Jessie.
In recent weeks, Jessie had often sought out her side, spending several afternoons with her and talking about fashion and India.
In the dance lessons, Jessie had always taken turns dancing with her or Lavinia. Dancing in particular was a recurring theme between her and Jessie, but traveling and India were also a recurring theme.
Sarah sighed inwardly. Jessie had been very inconsistent lately. One half of the days she was almost exclusively with Sarah, gushing with her about her various dreams, from being a ballet dancer, to the rich suitor she would meet at a ball, and her latest dream, to a big adventure, a trip around the world.
On other days, Jessie and Lavinia were inseparable. Even though Sarah could see that Jessie no longer followed Lavinia unconditionally and that Lavinia no longer treated Jessie like her personal servant, she wasn't sure what to make of it all.
Jessie seemed to have become incredibly flighty. She seemed to be constantly running back and forth between Sarah and Lavinia, unable to calm down.
Sarah wasn't sure how to respond to this. Ermengarde had hinted to her that Lavinia was only behaving differently to profit from her diamonds, Lavinia had already warned her before the diamonds that Miss Minchi was only interested in her money, something that even Sarah could see now.
Sarah sometimes wondered if it was any different with Jessie.
But then she remembered how Jessie had sought her out at the beginning of her time at the seminary and wanted to talk to her about India and dancing, but had always been prevented from doing so by Lavinia.
Jessie was only with her more now because Lavinia was different, that was all.
Sarah was glad that her doubts about Jessie were allayed. She liked the red-haired girl.
She had been the first friend in the seminar with whom she had been able to dream together. Becky, Ermengarde and Lottie were always good at listening, but not at creating their own stories. And Lavinia had always been too busy being the perfect lady at all times to join in.
After her apology, Sarah had half hoped to sit down with her, to hear about the dreams she must surely have or to talk to her about India.
But Lavinia had avoided her and had spent almost all her time doing schoolwork or going for walks.
Only Jessie had been able to create a story, a dream, with Sarah.
Sarah chased away her confused thoughts. There would be more than enough time to spend with Jessie after her birthday. She concentrated on the preparations again.
Marinette had just finished with Sarah's hair and was concentrating on the final details of her dress. When Sarah had first seen the pink thing, she hadn't been sure if it would look good or even be a smart choice of dress, but Miss Minchi had told her that her father would certainly like it and that was reason enough for Sarah.
She looked at herself in the mirror. It would certainly look better once she got to the party.

There was a knock at the door. After a short pause, Lavinia entered.
"Hello, Sarah. Happy birthday." Sarah beamed at her, even though Lavinia's greeting sounded more like "my condolences" than "happy birthday".
"Thank you, Lavinia. Did you know my dad might be coming? I've been waiting all day to see if he might come." Lavinia looked at her with a strange sadness in her eyes.
"I really don't want to spoil your joy, but I don't think he's coming."
Sarah frowned. "Why not? He told me in his letters that he might come, and my dad always keeps his promises."
Lavinia still had that sad look on her face, but she seemed to have pulled herself together.
"I don't doubt that, but I also don't want you to be disappointed and then not be able to enjoy your birthday. I mean, the journey from India is quite long and maybe it's been delayed somewhere. It could be tomorrow or a week from now."
Sarah realized that, even though she had the slight impression that Lavinia had meant something completely different. "Well, you have a point. But why are you here? Not just to warn me about my father?" Sarah could have sworn that Lavinia flinched slightly at these words, but she immediately regained her composure and looked at her with a perfectly neutral face.
"No, that just came up. I'm actually here to apologize."
That surprised Sarah again. Had Lavinia done something again? She was sure she hadn't heard anything about anything the other girl had done.
Lavinia took several steps closer and was now standing so close to Sarah that she had to look up at Lavinia. Lavinia had always been a little taller than Sarah, but it seemed as if she had grown in the last few weeks.
"So I would like to apologize for not being able to attend your birthday today."
Whatever Sarah had expected, that wasn't it. Lavinia would never miss a party. Was Ermengarde right and Lavinia was still jealous of her? Didn't she want to see her have a bigger party than her? But Lavinia's birthday was still weeks away. Surely she couldn't be jealous of something that was yet to come?
Lavinia seemed to have read her mind, or at least knew which way her thoughts were going, because she launched straight into an explanation.
"I really would have liked to come, but I have something important to do in the city. And it will probably take too long for me to get back in time for your party. I have to apologize for that, because even though we don't have the best relationship at the moment, you still invited me. It would be terribly rude not to let you know and not to apologize."
Sarah could believe that. Nothing would be worse for Lavinia than appearing rude and not behaving absolutely perfectly.
"Where exactly do you have to go?"
"Something has come up at short notice. It's nothing exciting, on the contrary, it's quite boring, but it will take time." Lavinia turned to leave. "I had chosen a present for you, but unfortunately I don't have time to give it to you now. I'd give it to you tomorrow, if that's all right with you. But now I really have to go." And with that, she was out the door again.
After a short pause, Marinette said, "Well, that was very polite, if surprisingly brief. Miss Lavinia does seem to be in a hurry."
Sarah agreed with her maid and told her to get back to her hair. While she was still thinking about what Lavinia was going to give her, she realized that she hadn't received a clear answer from Lavinia again.

An important appointment. I'm glad Sarah is so gullible, otherwise I would have been in real need of an explanation. Luckily I didn't bump into Miss Minchi on the way out, she would definitely have insisted that I stay.
But I can't go through with it. Even the brief visit with Sarah was almost too much. Sarah definitely noticed something was up, and only her gullibility saved me from answering some really awkward questions.
So I'm in town, walking around the park in circles like a fool. If I really don't want to hear about the party, I'll have to stay here until it gets dark. That's at least five hours. Not that I want to hang out in the park for five hours, but I can't concentrate on anything else at the moment. So the next round.
I really can't be at the seminar when it happens. And there are two reasons for that.
The first reason is simple and rational: I wouldn't be surprised.
In the original, even Lavinia was surprised and distressed, even if she immediately became really disgusting.
I, on the other hand, have known for months what was going to happen. In my opinion, this is a problem in all stories where the protagonist knows in advance what is going to happen. You have to be a very good actor to act surprised. And I'm not very good at faking an emotion. It always comes across as latently sarcastic.
And what does that look like? Lavinia is sarcastic when Sarah is dealt her worst blow? Then the others would just hate me.
I'll just wait until everyone's in bed, sneak in and claim tomorrow that someone told me in the evening. Then I don't have to feign shock.

Another round. At least it gives me time to think about everything again, especially the last steps of my plan. And about the second reason.
The second reason is much more diffuse. A mixture of empathy and guilt.
The scene in which Sarah's world collapses was one of the saddest in my childhood stories. I remember crying uncontrollably about it when I was twelve. The same scene in the VN was at least as bad because of the illustration. The whole thing live and in color? I would have broken down emotionally. It might have looked real, but I need a clear head for what follows. And it would have been funny if Lavinia, who was so detached, had suddenly wept unrestrainedly over Sarah of all people. Appearances have to be kept up.
And I would have reproached myself. Good, I blame myself now too. Couldn't I have prevented it somehow? With my prior knowledge? Is it really okay to stand by, knowing that someone will die and leave an orphan behind?
But my rationality immediately tells me that I can't do anything. Sarah's father should have believed me first. And why should he? After all, I'm a complete stranger to him. A letter could have been lost on the way to India. Or arrive too late. And then there's the fact that Ralph Crewe died of an unspecified tropical disease. Prevention is hardly possible without knowing about the disease. In any case, illness is one of the few ways parents die in literature that can hardly be prevented. Accident or soldiers of the evil overlord? Easy. Common things like illness or exhaustion? Hard.
So I'm not to blame. But my sense of guilt is not rational.

Another lap through the park. Maybe I should stop this slowly before a policeman stops me and takes me to Bedlam. After all, three hours have already passed.
Maybe I should go over my plan again. I've been working on it since I woke up here, but it never hurts to double-check everything.

1. Apologize to Jessie and Sarah, salvage my friendship with Jessie, and establish a friendly but distant relationship with Sarah.
Done.

2. Get my father's permission to move freely around town to get everything ready.
Done.

3. Gather resources and information for the plan.
Done.

4. Improve my overall image and reputation in the seminar.
Only partially worked, but enough.

5. Build a relationship with Becky and present myself as a definite but friendly servant whose word can be trusted and who rewards good work well.
Done, but will need to continue.

6. Wait for Sarah's birthday and then do damage limitation. Currently in progress.

7. Make sure Sarah stays friends with Jessie and Ermengarde so they can support each other. I just need to influence some of the scenes right after the birthday. Lottie and Becky shouldn't need any help there.

8. Secretly support Sarah and Becky with food and clothing to minimize the impact of Miss Minchi's "kindness".
The "secretly" will be the hard part, since I'll have to do this especially at night.

9. Track down Marinette and take her into my service for her experience.
The best way to do this is to place a time-delayed, very specific ad in the servants' register, which I can do right away so I don't have to keep running around the park pointlessly. I just have to convince my father to accept it. But I already have an idea.

10. Make sure Sarah's faith in miracles and other people doesn't die.
My secret gifts should achieve that.

11. Stop Jessie from running away, joining the ballet or thinking about suicide.
I think I can do that by being a good, true friend to her instead of the toxic bitch that the original Lavinia was to her.

12. Use Sarah's case as an argument to convince my father to grant me financial independence or work towards it and get him to set up an emergency font.
This could go either way, I have to make a really good case.

13. Get Jessie and Sarah together.
They make a good couple, the two dreamers, but the main reason is that Sarah's fortune is the only way to save Jessie from her arranged marriage.
I'm not rich enough to do that, and I really don't want to put Jessie through that. Mainly because she was almost suicidal over it. I don't want to lose my only friend.

14. As soon as Sarah's father's boyfriend moves into the house next door, just pay him a surprise visit in the role of neighbor, steer the conversation towards the girl he's looking for and then tell him everything. Sarah gets her fortune, can help everyone with it and only has to suffer for four to five months instead of a year and a half.

15. Ensure that Miss Minchi doesn't find out anything until the end.
Easier said than done, but it has worked well so far.

16. Use my financial independence to avoid having to get married, or at least to be able to decide who it ends up being.
Further away than the other items on the list, but closer than I would like. After all, I'm almost sixteen. In the terminology of the time, a good age to get married.

That was it. All in all, a good plan. Although perhaps a little too much planned for the individual characters to behave exactly as they do in the story. At least I have no doubts about Miss Minchi. But I'm actively trying to change the others. That could lead to me thwarting my own plans. And then.
I should get on with something else. Continuing to brood unnecessarily doesn't help anyone.
Off to the servants' register.

I have to admit that there is little strategic reason to hire Marinette as a Maid. But she has exactly the skills a good personal maiden should have, her story is a similar bad one to Sarah's and she is an innocent victim of the whole story just like Sarah. Minchi has taken all her belongings, something I suspect is completely illegal, and thrown them out on the street without reference.
I can help her as far as getting a good job through me. I also want to keep all the characters from the original story close to me as much as possible. Maybe out of paranoia, but they might become important again. And then I don't want to have to search half the city.
The ad in the registry has to fit perfectly so that I actually get Marinette.
I was thinking: "Young lady seeks maid as personal maid, with knowledge and personal experience in the service of a young lady. She must know how to take care of her mistress's wardrobe and speak fluent French and English. In fact, coming from France and with darker skin preferred."
That should be specific enough.

It's all taken longer than I expected, but it's all better than having to sit in on what's going on in the seminar. I'm just wandering aimlessly through the streets to kill the last of my time. And I don't want to run through the park again.
Marinette should get in touch with my dad next week and hopefully I can convince him to hire her.
My father is another blind spot. How come I know practically nothing about him?
He wasn't in the original story, Lavinia wasn't the focus. In the adaptations he has some characterization, but you can tell we're not in the anime just by the fact that I'm not blonde or American, and in the VN he's only mentioned in two sentences. Beyond that, I don't seem to have gotten any memories of him from Lavinia for whatever reason. Some vague information about name, job and place of residence, nothing else. I don't even know exactly what he looks like. I have better memories of my father from my old life, and he died when I was ten.
And I need to get to know him better if I want to know how to convince him to give me more freedom. It sounds like I'm trying to manipulate him, and honestly, that's true. Until I know him better, he's just a guy who has way too much power over me and my future.
The lantern bearers light the gas lamps. It's late enough to return.

Everything has worked out. No one noticed me when I returned to the seminar and everything is quiet. Now just go to bed and then everything else tomorrow. My plans will start tomorrow. I should start writing to my father.
The others will need some time to get used to the new reality. But I was prepared.