After I exited the Maze I bonded him… and the feedback knocked me out."
Narcissia hissed in rage. "He released a Basilisk on the School… endangering Our Son…"
Harry swatted her shoulder. "Control yourself and harness your Rage. You are a Slytherin trained Black. Stop acting like a common Gryffondor. Think, how best to Hurt Luci? Where are his soft spots? No. Don't tell us. This is Narcissia Black's first duty to earn her Place in the House. You show us how to do the greatest Harm to those who threaten us… and I will ask his Lordship to name you our Proxy."
That stopped Narcissia cold. Her Ambition, Pride, and Bloodlust rose, coiled about each other, and ignited into a cold fire. Then she smiled.
All three wizards drew back, and covered their valuables.
Andi started to laugh. "Think Cissi. Your returning to Black would weaken Lucius's Political Clout as most of that power came through your link to Black. As the Proxy, you out rank him. You mentioned that Lord Black is recalling all debts to current, and because you co wrote those loans as Lady Malfoy…"
"Madam Black is untouchable in court, but Lord Black has the right to recall the loans as it could be considered Theft and Fraud." Cissi continued to grin evilly.
Sirius clapped his hands. "So… Lunch? Cissi lunching with Lord Potter and her Sister… Harry, Call Kreature."
"Bad Dog Master call?" The old Elf sneered from Harry's knee. "Miss Cissi. You are looking good." He bowed his wrinkled head to the two toned haired Witch.
"Kreature. Andi and Dora are returned to Favour of House Black." Harry scratched behind the bat wing ear. "Ladies, Gampy Kreature is avoiding the Townhouse until Sunset."
The older witches were quick to congratulate the old Elf as Tonks frowned.
"What is Gampy? You say it like a title and a big deal."
"As I understand it, it's a position like Honoured Elder. He is responsible for the running of the house, if not House." Harry enunciated the difference between the word House. "While it is rare for an Elf to achieve this title in House Black, he mostly gets to boss other House Black Elves around and teach the younglings the history and glory of House Black."
"Kreature. Narcissia has petitioned Lord Black to reclaim her. He has agreed. He needs a Black Elf to retrieve the Black Matriarch Broach."
"Why me?" The younger sister asked.
"Because you are the Black. Andi still is a Tonks." Sirius looked from his cousin to the Elf and raised an eyebrow.
"As Master Bad Dog commands." Kreature snapped and disappeared.
"Which reminds me, please remove the ribbons." And Sirius reformed as the Grim… with pink ribbons in his fur/hair.
Andi snorted and flicked her wand at him and the ribbons fell out. The ribbons rolled into a ball and flew into her handbag. "What was the idea behind that?"
"Kreature doesn't like Sirius. I objected to him trying to gled Sirius by concussive force. But pranks like braiding his hair with ribbons is fair game." Harry grinned. "Lupin. As Potter Steward, please take the lead for my Grim Familiar. I will be dining with my cousins and escorting Cissi so she can pack up and move to the Townhouse."
"Steward?" the surprised werewolf gasped.
"Well, you are the only person who can handle my Familiar other than myself. I don't count the big breasted bim-bitches whose laps and heaving bosoms that he insists on resting, his weary head."
Only Padfoot didn't snort in contempt or disbelief. Instead he thumped his tail and preened.
"And now I see why Kreature wants to gled him." Cissi sighed.
"No." Moony sighed in defeat. "The little bastard just hates him. Something to do with Reggie. One final bitch slap from the grave."
"Ah… Slapsgiving Three, the slap that keeps on giving." Harry signed.*
Dora sighed. "I need to hurry. I only have an hour for lunch."
"Just tell Bonesy that you were keeping me from killing anyone else at Dunnings." Harry Potter smiled.
Cissi took a pinch of powder and threw it into the floo. "Dunnings Dare. Party of Six." She ducked into the green flames. Lupin and Padfoot went next, followed by Andi.
"Uh, I am horrible at this." Dora sighed. "See you on the other side." And she was gone.
Harry followed quickly…
And ended up face down in her cleavage.
"Why Auror Tonks, Suprise meeting you here. Remind me to travel your way more often.
"Lord Potter. Please stop sexually assaulting my niece." Narcissia spoke loudly.
"Sorry Mistress Black." Harry climbed to his feet before he helped Dora to her feet. He flashed his fading scar and Lord Potter Ring. "I was so eager to answer Lord Black's request to meet with you."
Kreature chose that minute to return with the broach worked in platinum and jet displaying the Black Crest. "Lord Black send Mistress Matriarch Broach. House Black is returning to Glory." And he vanished with a snap.
"Padfoot! No!" Lupin was pulling on the lead as the Grim whined and wagged his tail as he pulled towards a big breasted blonde witch with a very low cut top. Harry could tell that the only thing keeping her assets contained was an overworked restraining spell.
"Padfoot Heel." Harry barked. "You can chase the shepherdesses after lunch."
Padfoot whined and pouted at the blonde witch with puppy dog eyes. She giggled, her boobs bouncing, before waving him away. Padfoot yipped and wagged his tail and returned to Lupin's side.
"I'm sorry but we don't serve their kind here." The maitre d looked like a cross between Albus and Hercules Prior. His mustache was full, lushish, and long. he kept it combed and waxed.
Harry Potter snapped about. "Are you talking about my Familiar or my Steward?"
The Man in a waistcoat swallowed. "You have a…"
Harry just raised an eyebrow at the man.
"But they are Dangerous."
"And who am I?" Harry glared at the now wilting wizard. "The title that I detest."
The man wilted even further.
"Say it." Harry hissed.
"The Boy Who Lived."
"Good. Now, if I can shut HIM down, do you think a Grim on a leash or Werewolf two weeks from the Full Moon is beyond my ability to control?"
The Wizard swallowed. "How many?"
"Six, and two empty chairs please." Narcissia Black took the reins. "Make that Five. And an empty space between Lord Potter and his Steward. We will need two chairs for visitors."
"And the Auror?" The man licked his lips as he pulled his handlebar coiled mustache.
"I am here to wrangle Lord Potter should he feel the need to… 'Umbitch' anyone."
"Umbitch?" Cissi turned to the Auror. Everyone in hearing range knew was the target of the Slander.
"It seems he walked in on her trying to pressure the Sub Director of Demetor Control into sending two of them to his Muggle Residence." Tonks sighed. "Everyone says she drew first, but we don't know what spell she used as he 'accidently' stepped on her wand. When the first on the scene arrived, she ordered him to attack Potter, and the spell ricocheted into her shoulder. Director Bones tasked me to escort him home." Dora hooked her thumbs into her Metro Belt. "He just seems to be taking the long way home. Now you do have the right to refuse him service…"
Everyone heard the words she didn't say.
"Of course. You will be wanting the centre table, I believe. Three wines? We have a bottle of the latest Potter Villa Vintage."
"Two Wines, leave the carafe. A Lager and two butterbeers." Lupin smiled at the man. "I believe the Grim would like a 'Sex on the Beach' in a soup bowl."
Padfoot thumped his tail.
As the maitre d, led the way, Harry started softly singing,
"If you've only got a mustache
A mustache, a mustache
If you've only got a mustache"*
Lupin and Tonks just glared at him. Padfoot doggy grinned and panted.
Once they were in sight of the Table, Harry switched tunes.
"Mr. Boombastic
What you want is some boombastic romantic
Fantastic lover,
Mr. Lover Lover, Mmm, Mr. Lover lover, Sha
Mr. Lover lover, Mmm, Mr. Lover lover
She call me Mr. Boombastic
Say me fantastic touch me on the back
She says I'm Mr. Ro
Mantic, say me fantastic
Touch me on the back, she says I'm Mr. Ro
Smooth, just like the silk
Soft and cuddly hug me up like a quilt
I'm a lyrical lover
No take me for no filth
With my sexual physique, jah know me well-built
Oh me oh my, well well
Can't you tell
I'm just like a turtle crawling out of me shell
Gal you captivate my body put me under a spell
With your couscous perfume
I love your sweet smell
You are the only young girl who can ring my bell
She call me Mr. Boombastic
Say me fantastic touch me on the back
She says I'm Mr. Ro
Mantic, say me fantastic
She call me Mr. Boombastic
Say me fantastic
She says I'm Mr. Ro
Mantic, say me fantastic…"
Tonks slapped him up the back of the head. "Don't start that now."
Rubbing his crown, Lord Potter turned on the Auror. "Damn Witch. You hit like a muggle."
A Wizard sipping Firewhiskey snorted three feet of flame and torched his dining partner's hair and blouse. She slapped him and flounced from the main room.
"Don't worry about that." Cissi whispered to Harry as he held her chair for her Lupin doing the same for Andi and Dora. "She was getting tired of that dress, and now he has to take her to get fitted for another. They'll have a thrust in the changing booth and she'll parade her new dress before everyone tomorrow. If you want to send an apology… buy their meal."
"Mark their lunch on me." Harry whispered to the maitre d. "But I don't think I will do it again… today."
"Milord." The Wizard clicked his heels and bowed his head.
Three minutes later the Witch returned in a new dress.
Dora snorted. "The Lad makes a comment at the right time and some bloke gets shagged two nights running." Looking at Harry, "You free Friday Night? I need a wing-wizard."
"Can't do Muggle Clubs and I don't think my Fiancées will take kindly to me making the rounds without them." He settled in his chair, across from the empty chairs.
"As in more than one?" Andi laid her napkin across her lap.
"Thanks to Lord Malfoy, I am contacted to Greengrass. House Potter has a Contract with House Bones. And I need a Lady Potter." He mimicked the witches with the napkin. "Then there is the snafu I had with the Patil Twins." He froze and looked at Dora. "Damn. Dobby and Winky are going to be so thrilled. By the First of August, I am bringing how many people to live in the Townhouse?"
"Let's put it this way." Lupin leaned back in his chair. "You better hope that they sinc with me or you will be spending a lot of time running on all fours."
"Yes… many weeks looking for the Potter Manor." Harry nodded. "We will need Kreature to keep the tent as Dobby helps me and Dan to comb the Potter Estate. Of course you and Padfoot will be there in case I find something that I might need help with?"
Lupin snorted. "Like what, ribbons in your mane?"
"When was the last time Moony had a flea bath?" Harry smiled at the Wizard.
"You wouldn't." the look of horror on the scared face raised an eyebrow or two around the table.
"TRY ME." Harry dropped to a low rumbling voice.
Tonks swatted him again. How she did it from across the table, Harry had no idea.
Over the next hour, people came by the table either alone or in pairs. Most were just saying hello. But one out of three on average had a question for Narcissia or Andromeda. Most smiled at Harry, frowned at Remus, sniffed at Dora, or the like.
When the carafe of wine ran out and everyone had finished their light meal, Harry stood and asked Remus to Walk the Grim, and asked Andi to drop by the Townhouse before the weekend.
He then channeled his magic into his Lord's Ring and pressed it into the bill for the two tables. He then hooked his left arm through Cissi's right arm and headed back to the Floo.
TBC
Same Author, just can't get back to the first account.
Songs are 'if only you got a mustache' and 'Mr Bombastic ' by Big Cheesy, a spin on 'Bombastic' by Shaggy