Decisions
During the return to the castle Sev continued reminding Hippolyta, in chronological order, of each of the situations they had experienced together and explaining to her in detail what he liked about her. Of course, he didn't get to tell her everything. When they left the Forest they checked their Patronus, Sev's happiest memory had not changed either. This time, the birds of prey, instead of fighting, flew very high and very quickly, as they did on a broomstick.
They did not separate to enter the castle, they went through the passage behind the greenhouses and arrived home together. They both went to their bedrooms to change their clothes, since their underwear was wet, and they arrived late for lunch. Sev felt emotionally exhausted, not hungry despite the walk, the fighting, the bath, and the late lunchtime.
Ugh… now I'm going to fall too, I don't know how I'm going to get out of this. At the moment I need a lot of peace to eat, I'm not going to bond with anyone. In the last few days I have done just enough, with the excuse that I had many issues to discuss with the old man, and in fact we have already solved many things that were pending for us.
My whole family has already noticed the change I have made since Monday. Valerie no longer kisses me or links me when we leave the Great Hall, she realizes that I don't feel like it at all and leaves me alone. Lily and Lauren have also noticed that I'm not so affectionate with them anymore, but they don't reproach me at all, they chat among themselves and that's it. And Lily must have also felt it in the feeling of the Bond, that I still love her but I don't desire her.
I'm going to have lunch quietly, trying not to think, just about eating, and on the way home I will ask Deborah to chat with me for a while about Hippolyta's problem, it is very serious and I need help. He did so, he ate his two dishes relaxed, concentrating on eating, and managed to finish them.
As soon as he did, Deborah bonded with him. "How was your morning, Prince?"
"Are we in private?"
"Of course."
"Too intense," he replied.
"Not just the morning, the whole week, right?"
"How well you know me, Deborah."
"As they say, as if I had given birth to you." She smiled at him.
"Oh…"
"And you also forget that you have a Couple Bond with me and Valerie. We already noticed the change on Monday at noon."
"Of course…" Sev realized. "Then why haven't you brought up the subject until today?"
"Because today is when you need to talk about it. You know one of my mottos, wait until the right time."
"Sure…"
"Shall we go home now?" Deborah asked. "This way we get into the hidden space of your bedroom and we are calmer."
"We are not going to be comfortable there unless we lie down on the bed and I don't even feel like that."
"Well, there are two beds, one in each one. And if you prefer to chat face to face, we'll both sit on the same one or we'll Summon some chairs."
"Okay, let's go," he agreed.
They got up and left without saying anything to anyone else.
"Do you have an exam in the afternoon?" Sev asked her.
"No, we had it this morning."
"Great, then we have more than two hours."
"It won't take us that long, don't worry," Deborah said.
"You already have everything thought out, right?"
"Of course."
"There is an issue that you do not knowand it is the first thing we must deal with," he said.
"Something that happened this morning?"
"Yeah."
"No, things are better in order," she objected.
"I don't want to give you details of the rest."
"You don't need to give them to me, I'll talk about what I think is essential."
"Thank you, Deborah."
They continued home without saying anything else, went to Sev's bedroom and entered the hidden space.
"Bed or chairs?" she asked.
"What I really want is a good armchair, I'm exhausted."
"Let's Summon."
"True."
They Summoned two armchairs, each one to their liking, and sat facing each other.
Deborah began, "Background of the situation.We have saturated you.Excesses."
"Of course."
"The weekend was too much for you."
"And also all previous," Sev clarified.
"You can handle four physically but not emotionally."
"That is."
"Just know that we have already talked about it between us," she informed him.
"I should have imagined it. How have you done it with Lauren?"
"Through Lily."
"Great, you've stayed together," he deduced.
"Of course."
"Do they know about Hippolyta?"
"No.None," she replied.
"Thank you, Deborah. What I do?"
"Take time."
"Do I have to give them explanations?" Sev asked.
"Not if they don't ask you for them. We all understand it."
"Oof… what a relief. I think that at least I should say something to Lauren, I'm not going to see her all summer and I absolutely have to meet her before the end of the school year."
"Absolutely?" she asked.
"Yes, for a matter outside of the relationship and that I should have told you already, but at this moment I don't have the mood to do so."
"Yeah. Meet her then for what you have to do, and what I have told you, give her the explanations she asks for. She's not going to ask you for any, she also took her time deciding whether to be with you or Jack, she chose him and in a way she left you in the lurch. She now understands that you also need time. She will wait for you and respect what you decide to do."
"Does she no longer care about not Bonding as a Couple with me?" he asked.
"She doesn't, Prince. Not if you are not convinced to do it."
"Booff… I promised her many things."
"Feelings change, Prince," Deborah reassured him. "The one you have now will also change.Take time."
"Lily?"
"The same, she will wait for you indefinitely. You waited for her more than six years."
"Ugh… but we were going to spend the summer together," Sev objected.
"And you will spend it, if you want, as friends, as always."
"She must be knackered."
"No, Prince, she is not. It's enough for Lily to know that you still love her and to be your friend forever, just like Lauren."
"I'm already about to cry."
"Well, cry."
He cried. "We had already planned when to do the Union of Souls."
"Yes, she already told me. Don't worry, you know that she has an alternative, she will wait for you as long as she considers appropriate and when she sees fit she will begin her relationship with Black. If you decide to return to her as a couple, she will also be there for you, even if you are not the first for her."
"I don't deserve her."
"Yes, you do deserve her, more than any of us, you have been working for her since you were nine years old," she said.
"But she is at risk of death because of me."
"She would be the same because she is a Muggle-born, Prince, and you have found her an unbeatable profession and the best protection. She realized by herself, from a conversation you had at the beginning of the year in which you talked about the interviews for the OWLs, that you were also aspiring to the position of Potions professor that Slughorn would leave vacant when he retired when he discouraged you from prepare Defense, and that you gave it up for her without even telling her, because she had had the same idea."
"True.Valerie?" Sev asked.
"Delighted with life because of the experiences she has had with you. Your friend forever and your lover whenever you want. You've fixed her life in one week, she's another."
"Have you been together?"
"Of course," Deborah replied.
"You?"
"Same as Lily. I will wait for you as long as I consider convenient. Now I have Valerie, I'm in no hurry, I want to live the experience with a girl to the fullest. When I see fit I will start with Paul."
"But he has decided to wait for you," he objected.
"It's his decision, not mine. If he changes it, don't let him wait for me."
"Sure."
"And about me, in another area, I have not changed my mind regarding what I told you on Sunday," she added. "I will mark myself with you if you decide to do so."
"Don't bring that up, Deborah, not now."
"Okay, Prince, I'm sorry. More questions?"
"No."
"Well, it's your turn."
"I no longer have four Patronus, I only have one, new," said Sev.
"Welcome back to mediocrity."
They laughed.
"Twin?" Deborah asked.
"Yeah."
"Well, then it is not mediocre."
"No, it is not," he confirmed.
"Would you like to show it to me?"
"Sure."
Sev conjured the bird of prey.
"Wooow... a raptor, wonderful, hunter but monogamous," she commented.
"Monogamous?"
"Of a single couple, like most birds, not like mammals."
"Oh…"
"And it reflects you both perfectly," Deborah added.
"Of course. We have conjured them twice, the first time they fought, and the second time, in the meadow in front of the castle, where they could fly freely, they flew like we do on broomsticks."
"Wow... Can I ask you things?"
"Ask, I'll see if I answer you," Sev replied.
"Is the memory from this morning?"
"It is."
"Compromised?" she asked.
"Not at all. Nothing has been compromised."
"Incredible."
"Don't let it seem that way to you," he said. "I have returned to innocence, to the feeling I had for Lily before we were dating, but reciprocated."
"Wow... Have you confessed it to each other?"
"We have."
"Now I understand it all," said Deborah. "Has she known how to be discreet to escape?"
"Yes, but we are not going to hide anymore. Later I'll tell you, continue with the questions."
"Has she been suspicious of you?"
"Not at all, she had me completely gotten," Sev admitted.
"Wow... How has she gotten the curses?"
"I have never seen anything like it. Everything at the first time."
"Even Avada?" she was amazed.
"Even Avada, and four other killing ones at the first attempt."
"Wooow…" admired. "And the combat?"
"Amazing," he replied. "Unbeatable reflexes and aim.She has it all, innate, she is perfect, she will become legendary if she ever fights.She lives up to her name."
"I'm dying for you to tell me more."
"She has learned the controlled Sectumsempra in less than ten minutes and the entire non-verbal OWL syllabus and their counterspells in less than an hour."
"Wooow…"
"She sings like angels, much better than Valerie, and she has more gifts for music than her and me," he continued. "And it was the first time in her life that she had sung, the counter-spell of Sectumsempra, the same thing that I sang for the first time."
"Oh…"
"And she loves numbers and Astronomy, like me. My soulmate."
"Have you told her your story?" Deborah asked.
"Yes, except for Lily. In two minutes she has understood and assumed everything. She herself asked me if I had thought about becoming a Death Eater."
"Incredible. Stay with her and forget everything else, that's my advice."
"I prefer the one you gave me before, take my time," Sev objected.
"Of course. Let yourself be carried away by what you feel, the heart is never wrong. Also go look at yourself in Erised."
"I was already thinking of doing it, maybe when we finish chatting. Are you done with the questions?"
"Yeah."
"Well, let's talk about a very serious issue that I must discuss with you," he began. "I need advice and help." He told her about Hippolyta's thinness and problems with eating.
When he finished, Deborah said, "Yes, it is serious, very serious, and I already smelled it, for some reason I asked you the other day what she looked like in Erised.In the end you didn't show it to me.Can you show me now?"
He did it, showed her the Mirror image in his mind.
"Boof… And there she is already twenty-something years old," she was worried. "I explain to you.She is anorexic."
"What's that?"
"A mental illness, which especially affects adolescent girls and which is very difficult to cure. They become obsessed with being thin and even if they remain skinny they still see themselves fat. And that's probably why she looks younger than she is and she's not a woman yet. She is malnourished."
"Booahh…" very alarmed.
"Surely she is going to need a psychologist or a psychiatrist," Deborah added.
"What's that?"
"The doctors of the mind."
"Shall I tell you what I have thought and done?" Sev asked. "Let's see if I've done it right."
"Sure."
He explained that he wanted her to sit with them in the Gteat Hall or read her every day, how he had tried to encourage her to eat by making her see that she would miss out on doing all the things she liked if she was not strong, and how he had tried to raise her self-esteem by valuing her for who she was as a person and downplaying her physique.
"You've done great," Deborah valued. "You have acted as her doctor, and your word is worth more to her than that of any doctor, because you are the boy she wants to be liked by."
"Sure…"
"But even if she wants to get out of the hole, she may not be able to on her own or only with our help. We can try to force her to eat, but in that case anorexia can degenerate into something worse, bulimia."
"And what is that?" Sev asked.
"Purposefully vomiting everything you eat."
"Booahh…" very alarmed.
"With which you destroy your digestive system," she concluded.
"Then it's not enough to force her to eat. We must also read her to make sure that she does not do it."
"Sure."
"I'll met with her again this afternoon," he said. "I wanted to take her to sing and perhaps to Erised."
"Didn't she have to study?"
"She told me that she is over the top."
"Has she proposed it to you?" Deborah asked.
"Yeah."
"Don't trust, maybe she is lying to you to be with you."
"Sure."
"Tomorrow they have a Transfiguration exam.Do you remember the complete third-year syllabus?" she asked.
"Of course."
"Then do that instead of going to play. You kill three birds with one stone. You make sure that she gets the subject, you stay with her for a while longer, and if you haven't managed to convince her to sit with us, you finish doing it. Reading her once a day is not enough, we have to read her at every meal to make sure she hasn't vomited the previous one."
"Sure."
"And in summer we need to talk to her parents without fail," Deborah added. "They must not have realized the seriousness of the matter."
"I bet not. If they are both witches, they don't know Muggle medicine."
"How have you appointed with her?"
"At five in the Common Room," Sev replied.
"Do you have anything else to talk to me about?"
"I don't."
"Do you want to go to Erised now?" she asked.
"No one needed the Room of Requirement this afternoon?"
"No, I have reserved it for you, I was already expecting something like this."
"Wow, Deborah… you are the best. So yes, I'm going.
"Alone?"
"I don't care, come if you want."
"Since you are not going to play with Hippolyta, you can stay in the free time you have playing, it will be good for you to disconnect," she suggested.
"True, then you better not come."
"I'll accompany you to Erised and I'll return."
"Great, let's go."
They went, on the way they continued talking.
"Has it been good for you to chat?" Deborah asked him.
"Yes, great, I should have done it before."
"Have you been thinking about it a lot during the week?"
"No, not at all, but yes this morning," Sev answered. "The storm of emotions has caught me by surprise."
"Well, then it was good that you didn't talk about it until today. If you had analyzed everything previously, you probably would not have experienced it with the same intensity. Things turn out better when they are not planned, they are lived and that's it, as they come."
"True. How are you with Valerie?"
"Wonderful.We complement each other very well," she replied.
"Don't you fight?"
"Yes, all the time, but we reconciled immediately."
They laughed.
"Wow... Have you look ay yourselves together in Erised?" Sev asked.
"We have."
"And what desire has predominated?"
"Hers," Deborah replied.
"Well... Finally you see something more than skirmishes."
"Well yes."
"How are we going to do with Hippolyta?" he asked.
"I'm going to notify the whole family so that we can be home this afternoon, I will explain the situation to them without revealing that it was you who discovered it. We'll all sit at the table, we'll fit in, and we'll also chat with her. Let her feel welcomed, supported, as soon as possible. We will also think about the new layout in the Great Hall."
"It seems fine to me, but I would like for the latter to let her choose who to sit with, after she has dealt with us for a while. That she feels that she also decides something, that she does not completely lose her freedom."
"Of course, very well thought out," she agreed.
"She may want to sit next to me to chat, or in front, so I can look at her."
"Sure."
"I would also leave her freedom so that she can change places every meal or every day, as she wants," Sev continued. "Above all, make her feel comfortable."
"Of course yes, and we will have to stop chatting bonded, so that she finds out what is happening."
"Well, we will talk bonded about what she can't find out about."
"Of course," Deborah agreed. "Something more about the meals.If she is used to eating very little at a time she will not be able to eat both dishes and dessert today.The stomach becomes small when you put little food in it."
"True, it also happened to me at the beginning of wanting to eat more than I did. It filled me up and I couldn't fit anymore."
"We have to be patient with her for that. If she eats the first and half of the second she is already fine for the moment. Something gradual."
"Of course, and in any case, if she feels like it, let her also eat some of the dessert from any of us who don't eat dessert," he suggested.
"It is better if she fills herself up by eating healthier food, but yes, if she feels like eating more on a whim, we will do it that way. It is convenient for her to gain weight in any way, calories, and sweets are what have the most."
"Sure…"
"And above all, she should have a good breakfast, especially these days of such long mornings," she went on. "We will arrive at the Great Hall earlier so that she has plenty of time.She will eat very slowly."
"Sure…"
"You're knackered, huh?"
"Of course I am," Sev replied. "I get out of a problem to fall into a worse one, I don't have a single calm week.I'm going to spend the entire summer worrying about her.In summer we will not be able to read her three times a day."
"But we will alert her parents, they will watch her when she finishes eating so that she doesn't vomit. We will look for a good doctor who will at least advise them, if they do not decide to take her, who will tell them how they should treat her."
"We could also watch her so that she doesn't vomit."
"Yes, let her spend time with us after meals, accompany her to the service and things like that," Deborah suggested.
"Booff… she's going to feel very bad, very controlled."
"This is how we have to do it, Prince, to get rid of her bad habit and so that she doesn't acquire a worse one."
"And about talking to her parents, how do we do it?"
"Don't worry about that now, Prince, we'll think about it, we'll talk about it with her. If she doesn't think it's appropriate to invite you to her house because you're a boy or because they may have seen you in the Daily Prophet, Valerie and I will go and I'll explain the relationship we have through Shelley."
"Sure, great. We'll read her this afternoon as soon as we sit at the table to find out how much she ate for lunch, she said that she was very hungry."
"Of course, because she has done a lot of physical exercise, that will be great for her. When we make sure she does well on her exams we will keep her busy with physical activities."
"Booff… then she will lose more weight," he objected.
"We will evaluate it, depending on how much she eats."
"Okay."
They arrived at the Room of Requirement and demanded the storeroom. They entered, went to the Mirror and Sev looked at himself.
"Do you want to tell me what you see?" Deborah asked him.
"Yes of course. I'm with her, alone."
"Oh... the family's premonitions are over."
"No, I wasn't the only one who had them," said Sev.
"True. And how is she?"
"Quite thin, not as thin as in the image I showed you before, but more than normal."
"Boof... Well, that means that she is going to remedy the situation, that you have already changed destiny in a certain way, but that she will always have a tendency towards thinness, like there are people who have a tendency towards fat, it doesn't have to bebe worrying," she reassured him. "How tall is she?"
"She is almost as tall as me."
"Ugh... That's why she's so thin, she has a lot of growing left to do and she's not going to do it in optimal conditions. How old are you?"
"About thirty, as in the family wishes," he replied.
"Childless."
"Yes, without children."
"Are you happy?" Deborah asked.
"We aren't."
"Ugh... Is the scene developing?"
"No, nothing special happens," Sev answered.
"Come on, then don't look at yourself anymore and give me a hug if you feel like it."
"Sure."
Sev turned away from the Mirror and gave Deborah a very warm hug. He cried.
"Prince, don't let your life stop because of this, don't give up the happiness or affection of those around you. Even if you no longer feel like having physical relationships, continue enjoying the good feelings you have for others and that we have for you, the warmth, the friendship. You can't live without that, and even less so with such burdens on your shoulders."
"Sure…"
"Ugh... You're knackered, we shouldn't have abandoned you all week. We have failed you again."
"Not at all, Deborah, it was me, who didn't feel like interacting. Deep down, my ideal state is to be alone. This has been how I have spent most of my life and it is how I am most in tune with myself. The excess of relationships saturates me, I need my periods of solitude to live my own inner life, which is a lot. All week I have fed on an illusion and I have been perfectly. If I'm like this now it's because of what happened today. I'm very worried."
"Don't worry so much, Prince, today you have just taken a small step, you have planted a seed. Let it germinate and grow, over time the desire will change, you are already seeing that your desires change several times a week, just like your Patronus. It did it today, remember that. This morning, yes, now, you have lived the happiest moment of your life."