The Thing About Fights

The thing about fights was, Hayden hated them.

Being at odds with someone didn't sit right with her, especially a sibling. It was different with Delia; they didn't fight so much as constantly disagree due to their completely opposite personalities. It wasn't like she enjoyed being irritated with Delia either, always wondering when the menace would strike and what treasured possession of Hayden's would be her next victim. The stress was giving her headaches and ruining her flawless skin.

However, when Kase called at the crack of dawn, Hayden was willing to rethink her position on the matter. The video message tone rang, and rang, and rang until Hayden slapped the accept button, ready to fight her idiot brother out for disturbing her sleep.

Auden's going to kill me, Hayden thought.

Then, she remembered. Auden wasn't here.

"Put Titus on the phone," Kase requested, leaving no room for feeing sad when she could feel deep irritation instead.

Hayden was going to jump down the line and strangle him. "Did you seriously call me at six in the morning to chat with your dog?"

"Just do it."

So Hadyen spent the better part of what should have been her last two hours asleep listening to Kase coo to his German Shepherd and tell him all his problems like Titus was suddenly going to spout infinite wisdom from his slobbery jowls. The only good part was that Titus was warm, and heavy like a weighted blanket, and he allowed Hayden to snuggle up to him and run her hands through his fur. It was going to be a bitch to beat out of all the pillows later, but worth it for the tiny bump of serotonin Titus provided.

When Kase was done, Hayden got out of bed and started getting ready for her day. She had agreed to meet Vesper at her office before they headed out to lunch. It was becoming a thing they did, going out places and doing things. She saw more of her boyfriend's sister these days than her boyfriend.

It was strange, not having to tip toe around the room anymore. Auden was such a light sleeper, so easy to wake at the slightest of creaks in the bathroom door. Now, Hayden could make as much noise as she wanted. She could leave the door open while blasted music in the shower, could turn the hairdryer up to high, could clatter around her closet in search of the perfect pair of heels to match the dark academia aesthetic of her matching golden plaid blazer and mini skirt. While it was liberating not to have to mute herself for a change, it just made her miss Auden more. And with missing Auden came waves and waves of anger -

Don't go there, she told herself. Titus whined from his perch on Auden's bed, large ears cocked to the side as he sensed distress, a little too good at his job. Do not ruin your morning.

The dining room didn't do much better for Hayden's nerves. She had a pounding headache and the added vocals of two dozen strange men did nothing but make the headache worse. Thankfully the coffee was brewed on the stronger side, and after downing a cup and a half, the ache in her temple receded...marginally. No amount of caffeine or sleep would make it go away completely.

From the opposite side of the table, Essie scribbled away at her coloring book with the most alarming shade of pink crayon, one of the Selected roped into helping her choose which color to do next. He looked woefully out of his element. Delia should eliminate him now to spare him future awkward family encounters, but the woman in question was too busy hiding into the collar of her oversized sweater. At least she wasn't stealing from Hayden's closet this time, though Gabbi's clothes were a far cry from fashionable. Elodie talked policy to Mom and Dad, completely in the zone. Everyone else was absent. Which meant that Hayden was invisible.

Eating in silence wasn't Hayden's idea of a good time. The empty chair next to her throbbed like an open wound, mocking her. Hayden managed a few bites of her omelette before deciding to excuse herself from this agony. She had other plans anyway.

"Where are you off to?" Mom asked as Hayden pushed in her chair. Oh, so now she decides to pay attention?

"Downtown."

"Is this with your study group?"

Ah, yes, the clever lie she had concocted in order to cover up all her more noticeable outings with Rhys. She told her parents she was thinking of applying to Yale Law School, and was meeting a study group to prep for the LSAT. That lie was running thin, though. One admission season had already passed, much to the confusion of her parents when she 'forgot' to submit her application and had to talk Dad out of calling the admissions board. Besides, despite the fact it was her best subject, she hated law. She would have to think of something else, and soon. She could have just told Mom that she was going out shopping, but that was the excuse last time. Too much shopping at once got 1) suspicious and 2) a lecture about responsible spending and taxpayer money.

"Yeah. It might run late. Don't wait up."

"Have fun 'studying'," Delia said as she wagged her eyebrows suggestively at Hayden on her way out. Hayden scoffed and hurried her pace, hopeful that Mom had not caught that.

Out on the front steps, sure that no one was listening, Hayden allowed herself a frustrated sigh. Why did her family have to be so difficult all the time? The headache would not give up, so she popped four ibuprofen and slid into the backseat of her private car. The driver, her usual, didn't ask any questions and didn't make conversation, just the way she liked it. She gave him an address and he dutifully plugged it into the GPS and went on his way.

The further they went from the palace, the more relaxed Hayden felt. That, or the drugs were kicking in and her head didn't feel ready to split in two. A combination of both, she compromised.

Vesper's office was located on the top floor of one of the sleek, modern high-rises in the heart of the business district. There was more security in that building than the palace, security crawling over every door and entryway. Someone even escorted Hayden up the high-speed elevator and used a badge to swipe her into the required area. The whole process was so overwhelming, she almost missed Vesper standing two feet in front of her.

"So glad you could come," she said as she pulled Hayden into a hug. "I have a few things I need to finish up first, then we can head on our way. I have heard wonderful things about this boulangerie that opened up last month, just around the corner."

Hayden should have said that everything sounded great. She should have effused excitement at the idea of gourmet French pastries and café au lait. She should have asked Vesper if she needed any help with anything so she didn't waste any of her time.

Instead, Hayden blurted, "Do you know if there is anything going on with Rhys? I tried to call him the other night but he never picked up. He always answers my calls."

If Vesper was startled at the abrupt change in conversation, or the urgency at which Hayden hurled it at her, she rolled with the punches without so much as a flinch. "Sorry, I'm afraid that was my fault. Rhys was being a darling and helping me move into my new office the whole day. He didn't even get a chance to check his phone until late."

"Oh."

Stupidity and relief flooded through Hayden in equal amounts. The missed call had been weighing on her more than her pride would like to admit. The truth was, she was afraid Rhys had finally had enough. That he decided to ghost her as his way of saying they were over, that he couldn't be with some heartless Schreave who yanked him around, dangling on a string. Someone who didn't even have the decency to tell him she lo -

"The poor lamb was probably exhausted after all that heavy lifting," Vesper continued, oblivious as she watched the elevator's numbers climb higher and higher. "I would have hired a moving company but there is something rewarding in doing a job yourself. I promise, he would have called you if he could."

"I know."

The elevator dinged on the hundredth floor, opening its sleek metal doors to reveal an upscale, all-glass lobby that gave vision to the upscale, all-glass offices. The floors and ceilings were solid, of course. It would be quite inappropriate to have a constant line of sight that direction; would make wearing skirts impossible. Vesper swiped her fob on the locking mechanism of her door, the light flashing green and letting the two of them into the large, open space. The furniture was black and expensive, no doubt: a large L-shaped desk, state of the art computer, filing cabinets, ceiling-high shelves. There were a few plants in the corner, natural sunlight encouraging them to thrive, as well as a few pieces of art, but other than that the office was surprisingly sparse of personal touches. Vesper had a minimalist style, Hayden knew, but this was practically Spartan.

"This is quite a view," Hayden said as she walked to the edge of the window-wall.

"It's why I chose this space. From here, I can see the whole the city."

"Good thing you're not afraid of heights." This high up could give someone with a weaker stomach vertigo.

"I'm afraid of very little," Vesper said, thought it hardly sounded like a brag. More like a cold, hard fact. "Had to be. There's no other choice when you're born an Illéa."

They tried not to bring up their names and families when they were together, but eventually the topic was inevitable. Such a treacherous minefield to navigate.

"Rhys doesn't see it that way, or at least if he does, he hasn't told me."

"Rhys is…gentle, kind. He sees the best in people, only has the best of intentions." Only Vesper could make that sound like it was a bad thing. She leaned against the edge of her desk, crossing her arms over her chest as she continued, "I suppose some of that is my fault. I was always trying to protect him, shelter him from our enemies. Sometimes I'm afraid I made him too soft."

There was a photo on Vesper's desk of a beautiful young woman with dark hair and hazel eyes, her lips curled up in a precocious smile though she showed no teeth. Her face was done up heavily, her cheeks rouged more than necessary. There were ornaments in her hair; feathers, if Hayden had to guess. It took a moment, but Hayden was able to recognize the photo for what it was: a headshot, and a professional one at that.

"This is your mother?" she asked. Perhaps Vesper was sentimental after all.

"Yes. Her name was Nadia." Vesper's expression took on a wistful quality, like she was somewhere far away. Her lips quirked into a smile as she picked up the frame. "When Rhys and I were very little, we would sneak into her studio and watch her practice for hours. We tried to learn the steps but always ended up tripping over our toes, giving ourselves away."

"She must have loved that."

"No, she was stern. She'd yell for the nanny to come get us, take us back to our rooms to play. She never liked it when we disobeyed, could never stand to look us in the eye, like she would find something she didn't like. And I suppose, in her own way, she loved us, even if she never said it. But now…well, now I will never know."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. She died when I was a child. I barely knew her."

"I guess that's why Rhys considers August and Georgia his parents, because they took care of you, showed you love?"

"August and Georgia did their best." Vesper's smile was thin and strained, putting an end to all August and Georgia conversation.

Hayden's phone buzzed in her pocket. She never liked to answer calls when she was with other people; it was rude and tasteless and a surefire way to let the other person know that you didn't value their company. But one look at the caller ID, and Hayden could not resist answering.

"You didn't call me," she said immediately, not giving Auden any time to say hello.

"What?"

"After the shooting at the parade. You didn't call me." As if Hayden had to clarify. As if Auden didn't know exactly what she failed to do. Auden wasn't stupid. Auden was the smart one. Playing dumb didn't suit her.

"I'm sorry. Mom called me, I told her to tell you - "

"That's not the same!" Hayden hissed, at her limit. Anger deeper than any she had ever felt before poured from the edges of her composure. "How could you not tell me! I had to learn from the fucking TV!"

"I-I didn't have time, Hay! Besides, I'm calling you now," Auden defended, having the audacity to be angry at Hayden, like Hayden was the one in the wrong. "There was so much going on, so much to do. I had to be debriefed and fill out paperwork. You don't even know - "

"Then enlighten me. What could be more important than calling your twin sister and telling her you're alive?"

"I'm sorry, Hayden. Really. But I have responsibilities to Portugal, and - "

"Fuck Portugal! You have responsibilities to ME!" Hayden screamed into the phone, tears streaking her face and dripping down her lip. The empty room was bad enough. The lack of video chats or letters or phone calls cut deep. But this? She could deal with being left behind, but she drew the line at being forgotten. "I am your TWIN! Someone shot at you and I DIDN'T KNOW! Do you have any idea how that felt?!"

The line went silent. Hayden had the brief thought that Auden had hung up on her.

"Hayden…" Auden sounded miserable, at a loss for words.

Hayden found she had nothing left to say. She spoke her peace, got out what was weighing on her her. Now, she was tired, and miserable, and wanted this nightmare phone call to end. "Listen, I have to go."

"Hayden don't - "

Hayden was the one to hang up on Auden, for real this time.

The mortification set in about the same time as Vesper subtly cleared her throat and called her desk assistant for some water. Hayden had just screamed in front of Vesper. Vesper who was now staring at her like she had grown a second head. Fuck. If Elodie were here she would demand Vesper sign ten NDAs about what she just witnessed. All Hayden could do was slump on Vesper's ridiculously expensive couch and throw her head in her hands. Funny enough, her headache disappeared.

"I'm sorry you had to hear that."

"Think nothing of it." Vesper handed Hayden a tissue. She probably looked like a fucking raccoon. A messy, snotty-nosed raccoon. "Rhys and I have had our fair share of knock down drag outs over the years, though none so explosive as that." The desk assistant came scuttling in with two tall glasses of water with lemon and cucumber slices. Vesper thanked the woman with a smile and she quickly made herself scarce, leaving Vesper to make sure that one glass made it safely into Hayden's shaking hands. She was unbearably gentle as she asked, "Care to share what's on your mind?"

"Not really. Maybe." Hayden watched condensation form on the edge of the glass, watched it bead and drip down the side, watched it inevitably fall off the glass and onto the ground. "Who does she think she is? Suddenly she's getting married and she's what? Too busy to give me the common curtesy of a phone call?"

"Maybe it's not as sinister as you think," Vesper suggested, her tone light and objective. "She's your sister. She loves you."

"I know, it's just - "

"Just what?"

"I'm afraid she's pulling away from me. That we are growing apart."

A juvenile fear, one far better suited coming from a mouth of a ten year old girl parting with her imaginary best friend, but it was the way Hayden felt nonetheless. She and Auden were twenty-two years old. They were adults, coming into their own personalities and places. They weren't going to be joined at the hip their entire lives, and yet...that's always the life Hayden envisioned. She never saw them outside the palace, or if she did, she pictured them in apartments side by side, forever roommates or hallmates or neighbors. Never half a world apart. Never this separate.

"But isn't that natural? Siblings grow up, relationships change."

Deep down, Hayden knew Vesper was right. She just couldn't reconcile it with the life she'd built in her mind. Was it selfish of her to expect Auden to do the following? Was it selfish of her to allow herself to envision growth so long as Auden was the one who remained the same? Was it despicable for Hayden to secretly wish that this arrangement didn't work so that she could have her best friend, sister, twin back under her wing, where she belonged?

"I don't want us to change," she admitted, feeling miserable and so very desperate. "I've always had her. I don't know how to be alone."

"You're not alone, Hayden," Vesper said, reaching out to clasp her free hand. "You have your other siblings. You have Rhys. And you have me."

The truth was, she didn't know if she had her other siblings. Elodie was the heir, and that meant she lived in her own little world of paperwork and royal business; Hayden couldn't remember the last time she and Elodie talked about something that wasn't work-related. She and Kase had developed a little bit of banter, but it wasn't like he could pull his ass out of his own problems to help Hayden with hers. Delia was a lost cause. Gabbi was young and...well...she had enough to worry about. Rhys wouldn't answer his damn phone. Hayden only ever had Auden. And now, she supposed, Vesper.

She squeezed Vesper's hand. "Thanks. I seriously don't know what I'd do without you."

Vesper's lips quirked into a smile. "Strong girl like you? I'm sure you'd land on your own two feet."

Hayden huffed and wiped at her eyes one last time, confident the last of the tears had passed. She didn't feel so strong right now, but managed to scrape some together to get up and check her reflection in the glass of the wall, assessing how much damage would need to be fixed before she left the office. She was grateful she brought the Birkin today and had the foresight to throw in some extra foundation and mascara.

"You give me more credit than I deserve. Being 'strong' is exhausting," Hayden said as she pulled out the tube of mascara and started reapplying. Vesper's office windows were surprisingly clear. She must spend a fortune on window washers. "Mom is planning this stupid gala at the end of the season. Auden and I helped host the last three years. It was our thing, you know? Mom asked me to do it again this year, but the way things are going, I seriously don't know how I'm going to get through it."

"The Hope Gala?"

"Yeah, that's the one. You've heard of it?"

"It's only the most coveted invitation in the upper echelon of Angeles society." Vesper picked at an invisible piece of lint on her jet black skirt as she crossed and recrossed her legs. "There are rumors that this year the value may be depreciated, that the Queen is changing tradition and allowing anyone to attend."

"I don't know about that, but it's always been miserable." Hayden didn't give a single care about who attended. She doubted it would change the outcome. "Everyone asking me when I'm going to meet someone, settle down, get married, have children. It's awful being single at one of these things. Everyone wants me to meet their thirty-year-old sons or nephews."

"Why not just bring Rhys?"

Hayden shot Vesper a look. "You know why."

Vesper's eyes narrowed and her expression darkened. "So ashamed of us, are you?"

"No!" This was why she hated bringing family matters into conversation. She was just so comfortable with Vesper, she slipped and forgot, just for a moment, that they were much more than two girls with broken family dynamics. "My father would lose his shit. You know how he feels about your family, ever since..."

Well, she didn't know exactly what had transpired between Kaden Schreave and Marid Illéa to make the name Illéa banned in the royal palace, but it had to be bad. Dad never spoke of it, and neither did Mom, the only two people who would have been around to see the friendly tides Georgia and August made turn to rough, inhospitable ones.

Vesper hummed, staring unhappily out the window. "Why is it that we must be punished for the sins of our fathers? It's unfair that we must remain beholden to the rules their mistakes created."

"So messed up," Hayden agreed, allowing herself to pout just a little. Put that way, it was really ridiculous, and incredibly unfair. "I mean, my dad hasn't even met you. If he did, I'm sure he'd see how much of an ass he's been about the whole thing. You're like, the coolest person I know."

"How unfortunate, then, he's removed every way to meet me."

The gears in Hayden's head started turning. Her brain formed a scenario that was crazy, no, absolutely insane...or absolutely genius. "I couldn't send out a formal invitation or put you on the guest list; that would be too suspicious. But I am allowed a plus one. Rhys always tells me how much he hates parties, so I can't bring him...but I could bring you."

"Me?" Vesper asked, shocked. "We've just been over why this is a bad idea."

Hayden was beyond caring about anyone's feelings. Kase didn't care about her feelings when he woke her up, not to catch up with her, but to get access to the dog he dumped on her last minute. Delia didn't care about her feelings when she tried to embarrass her in front of the Selected and blow her cover with Mom. Auden didn't care about Hayden's feelings when she left her in limbo, believing Auden was dead. Why should Hayden care about hurting the feelings of her parents who made her feel so guilty about being in a relationship with an Illéa that she had to keep it a secret in order to keep it at all?

"Please, Vesper. You're my only friend," Hayden pleaded. She'd already embarrassed herself in front of Vesper once this visit, what was a little begging on top? "I would feel so much better if you were there."

Vesper's face flickered from conflicted to conspiratorial as she made up her mind. "Well, when you put it that way, I'm sure I could make room in my schedule."

Satisfaction spread through Hayden, warmer than any buzz. She raised her glass of room-temperature water in a toast. "To smashing old prejudices."

Vesper raised her own, lips curling into that signature smile. "To building new bridges."

It was true, Hayden didn't like fights, but this fight was one worth finishing. And to think her father never thought an Illéa and a Schreave could work well together. He was wrong, Hayden knew that now.

She and Vesper were going to change the world.