Chapter 9

Bella's POV

"And I would love to feel

alive again but I'm no

good with change."

"You think now is a good time for this?" Edward says out of the blue.

I look behind us to see who he's talking to, surprised it's Rosalie.

"Yes, it's the reason I'm here." She replied to him before turning to me. "Bella? Can I talk to you for a few minutes?"

I try to hide my surprise that she's addressing me directly. "Um, sure?" It comes out like a question.

"Edward?" Rosalie prompts when he doesn't move.

He sighs in response before kissing my forehead. "I'll be upstairs if you need me."

"Okay. . ." I say as I watch him leave us alone.

Rosalie sits down on the adjacent sofa. "Bella. . . I wanted a chance to explain why I voted the way I did, if that's okay."

I nod hesitantly, pulling my legs up underneath me.

"How much has Edward told you about my human life?"

"N-nothing really. He doesn't like to tell others' stories because he sees more than what most are comfortable sharing." I answer.

She smiles though I don't see any happiness behind the gesture. "I was born in Rochester in 1915. My father was a banker, well off. The Great Depression was happening but we managed better than most. My parents wanted me to do better, and were hoping that by marrying me off to someone more well off they would benefit as well. . . I was eighteen when met Royce King II. He was the son of the richest man in Rochester. It seemed perfect, and I hoped that by marrying him we could start a family. I always wanted to be a mother, Bella. My best friend Vera had a baby boy, Henry. He was everything I ever wanted." She begins, a far off look in her eyes as she remembered. ". . . It was a week before our wedding. I was walking home from Vera's when a few blocks from my street I heard the drunken laughter of a group of men. I realized one of them was Royce. . . He called me over to introduce me to his friends and they. . ." She stops herself. "I'll save you the details. They abandoned me thinking I was already dead. . . I wished I was. . . Carlisle found me and changed me."

I don't know how to respond so I stayed silent until she continued.

"Bella I- I voted no because I wish someone had been there to vote no for me. This is not the life I wanted."

"But why? You have Emmett and a great family. I-I don't understand." I wish I was lucky enough to have a family like hers, and a guaranteed eternity with the man I love. I still wasn't sure where I fit in with them, I thought I had before but I was mistaken.

"It's not all happily ever after."

"I never thought it was." I'm sure I came off as defensive but I didn't want her to get the wrong impression. I know what I'm asking for, the future I want isn't a decision I'm making lightly.

"I know. . ." She nods, her voice softer. "Did he ever explain it to you?" Rose asks, her tone different than before. "What it's really like, for us? Has anyone ever told you?"

"He didn't have to."

"He should have."

"Well, he didn't." My words were harder now, and petulant. "He didn't, Rosalie."

"I'm happy now but still there is nothing I've ever wanted more than to be a mother. Nothing I wouldn't trade or give up for a baby of my own." She admits. "You have that ability now, I don't think you understand what you're giving up, Bella."

"I-I've never wanted to be a mother, Rosalie. I could give you a million reasons. I was a mother to Renee because she couldn't be an adult. . . And I know what it's like to be unwanted, to stand in the way of your parent's happiness because you were unexpected and unwanted. . . I would never want to have a child who could possibly feel like I did. The world isn't safe right now, especially for me, and no child deserves that."

"You feel that way now but how will you feel in ten years? In 20?"

"If I ever did want children I know I would want them to be Edward's, and that is not possible. If I did come to regret my decision not to have children then we can always adopt like Carlisle and Esme."

"Just. . . Think about it. It's not a choice you can come back from."

"I will. . . but it won't change anything. I know this isn't a choice you'd make for yourself but you've also never been in my place: alone with vampires planning to kill you slowly so you suffer, hoping that your father and or friends aren't caught in the crosshairs. Having to worry that if you scream someone will come to try and save you and instead get killed in front of you, knowing it's your fault because they were looking out for you. . ." I trail off. ". . . Even if I were to survive all of that my Grandparents died of Alzheimers, Rosalie. It was slow and it was painful and they lost every part of themselves. It killed my Dad having to watch that. I don't want to go through that or let Edward go through that. And that's. . ." I trail off with a sigh, my thoughts in a jumble. Even if my future was guaranteed if I stayed human, if that was truly an option, my future wouldn't be the idyllic human future Edward imagined for me.

My Grandparents were both cursed with early-onset Alzheimers. Renee left and took me with her, but Charlie couldn't leave. He had no other family besides his parents, and if he left no one would have been around to take care of them in their ailing state. He had no choice but to stay.

Charlie refused to get tested, he said he didn't want to know. . . but I had to. Both his parents had a genetic mutation that led to their early-onset Alzheimers, which meant Charlie was more likely than not affected with the same mutation. With only one of my parents a carrier, I had a 50% chance of also inheriting their disease. . . Well, a 50% chance until the blood tests came back and that fifty turned into one hundred.

I've never told anyone. I didn't like to think about it. Before Edward, I knew I never wanted to have children, especially if I would have passed this on to them. With Edward, a future where my brain slowly degrades until I lose any autonomy I once had was no longer my only future. . . and when he left the only thing I was sure of was that I wouldn't live that long, my diseased mind wouldn't be what killed me in the end.

I never told anyone, I didn't think I had to. The truth wouldn't change anything.

"I understand your reasoning, Rosalie, I do, but do you understand mine?" I ask her. "It's so much more than just me wanting to be with Edward forever. Not all of my reasoning is selfish." I tell her, trying not to cry at the pictures that haunted my mind during their absence.

"We won't let that happen, Bella."

I shake my head. "You can't stay here forever, Rosalie. You can't protect everyone and yourselves. . . I hear what you're saying, I do, but you are going to have to respect my choice. This isn't just about you. If I'm part of this family, then I'm going to be part of this family. You don't have to agree with my choice. But you do have to accept it." I realize it's probably not the best idea to piss off a vampire, again.

She studies me silently as I start to wonder if I crossed a line. She sighs. "We knew the risks," said Rose as I looked at her with confusion clear on my face. "We knew how volatile our kind could be, and yet we left anyways. Edward thought you would be safe. He never dreamed—"

I stop her short. "Don't. Don't, please."

"I'm not making an excuse for him. Believe me. I'm first in line to declare how incompetent Edward is."

"Then what, Rosalie?"

"For what it's worth. . . I'm sorry." She pauses then smiles. "I think I've come to like you, Bella. It's nice that you've grown to defend yourself. Don't let my brother walk all over you." She reaches forward and pulls me into a hug. "He needs someone to put him in his place."

I'm frozen, part of my brain wondering if this is a dream.

"And you can call me Rose."

I don't respond. There is no way this is actually happening.

"I have no idea how you put up with his insufferable attitude to begin with." She rolls her golden eyes, a smile on her lips. "But I know you love him. Don't forgive him so easily, make him work for it. God knows he deserves it. . . Bella I don't agree with your choice to become one of us but I don't hate you. . . Personally, it helps me that you don't have much of a choice anymore." She pauses. "What I mean is that if you're happy then I am as well, or at least I'm getting there." I don't think I've ever heard Rosalie speak so much at once, to me especially.

I feel relieved when her words sink in. "Thanks."

I shouldn't have been surprised when a few moments after our talk was finished, Edward appeared, sitting next to me and pulling me into his side. "Can I have my mate back?"

Rose rolls her eyes at her brother. "I like her more than you, you know?"

Edward shakes his head. "I am well aware, Rose."

The familiar sound of gravel under tires and the garage door opening.

"It's Carlisle," Edward answers my unasked question.

I sit quietly in his arms, my mind going over everything. Rose says goodbye as Carlisle greets us. The world moves on. "Can I ask you something?" I look up at Edward until our eyes meet.

I'm planning on the next chapter being a real turning point. I have most of it mapped out, I just have to put it all together. Anyways, please review!