Disclaimer: Alcohol. The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems – Homer Simpson
Brockton Brass
Greg didn't know why the lady in the hat had come through a portal into his room, flashed her tits, and had then proceeded to expose every dirty secret and conspiracy in the world but he did know two things; the first was that she had a nice pair, the second was that they were better enjoyed in person than via the internet, and the third . . . three things, he did know three things and the third was that he was going to blow the lid off of it all. They didn't call him the great Void Cowboy, seeker of the truth for nothing. For a moment his he hesitated before making his post that would change the world and almost certainly result in his death as the mighty sought to avenge their unmaking but only for a moment. Greg might fear death but Void Cowboy did not, Void understood that sometimes a willing sacrifice had to be made for the greater good.
He closed down his computer and walked down stairs to let his family know that he'd be staying with a friend. Hopefully the powers that be would leave his family alone if he put some distance between himself and his loved ones and made it easy for them. Greg felt a bit of shame at the way he was just giving up without a fight, Void would have fought to his last breath and died with a smile on a pile of corpses, but Greg was in the real world and Greg was the one that had to deal with the consequences. He spent the walk to the park filled with self loathing and wishing that he was more like the great Void Cowboy and less like himself. Wouldn't be long now.
The young martyr wandered through the park until he reached the swing set. It'd been his favorite place as a child, a place filled with comforting memories, it felt right to wait here for the end. It was hard to keep the tears from flowing as he slowly swung back and fourth, he couldn't help but think about all the things he'd be leaving behind, his family, his online friends, but he drew strength from the fact that his actions would bring about a better world for them so that made it all worth it.
He wasn't sure how long he'd sat on the swing-set before the boredom set in. You'd think a dimension spanning conspiracy could have gotten their death squad there by now. He snorted in annoyance, bad enough they were going to kill him but to make him wait until they had a spare moment to do it? That was just insulting.
He swung for a bit longer before a horrible thought occurred to him. What if they were at his house? What if they'd gone after his family? He sprung off the swing and began sprinting towards his house, stopping after about two hundred feet to catch his breath. Damn but he was out of shape, it was almost a good thing that he was about to be brutally murdered or else he'd have had to start exercising.
It took forever to get back to his house since he kept trying to run and kept having to quickly stop to catch his breath. As he approached his front door, Greg forced himself erect, pushed his chest out and his shoulders back. He'd lived his life as Greg Veder but he was going to meet his end as the great Void Cowboy, the man who'd brought down the greatest conspiracy in the history of several worlds.
The house was normal, too normal. He'd expected it to be quiet, he'd expected to find a scene of horror, what he found was his family whole and hale with nary an assassin to be found.
"I'm back," he announced numbly.
"Did you go out?" his mother asked absently, eyes fixed on the television. The rest of the family didn't even bother to acknowledge his presence.
"Yeah, I told you that I was going to," he replied.
"Sorry, honey, I must not have been paying attention she murmured.
"It's okay," he said automatically. Maybe they'd gotten to his post before anyone had a chance to read it and there was some sort of warning or threat in his private messages? He logged into his profile and checked to find that not only was his post still up, but that it had gotten more replies than any other post he'd ever made. Each one calling him either a liar, an attention seeker, an idiot, or some combination of the three. That didn't hurt, what did hurt was a comment on page three.
PHO: The Truth
Page 03 of 03
AnalPotato69 (Often banned, never to be imitated)
Even if this was true, which it isn't because you're a liar. No one would believe any of it because you're a liar. How bout you do everyone a favor and you delete your account and destroy your computer. I'd give you more life advice but it'd get me a ban. In summation, and the horse you rode in on.
Leprechaun Lover
Harsh but fair
Fly by Wire (Verified Pilot)
Truth hurts. Hopefully a bit of truth will make Void into a real boy. Nah, never happen.
Finger me Elmo
I for one believe every word he posted. Then again I did just eat a massive number of shrooms . . . then there was all that acid I dropped . . . nope, probably all that crack I smoked earlier that makes anything Void posted sound reasonable. Uh . . . oh . . . crack's wearing off, he sounds like an idiot again.
03 of 03
Greg felt like he was a spectator watching everything happen in slow motion, he'd thought Potato was one of his closest friends. He'd thought several of the people in the thread saying negative things about him were friends but Potato? They'd role played, they'd sent each other private messages, Potato had even named a character in one of his fanfics after him. Greg thought he was going to be sick, he thought his heart was going to explode. He'd blown the lid off the biggest conspiracy of all time and no one believed a word he said.
He collapsed onto his bed. The world was shit and no one did anything to make it better. He'd tried and they'd mocked him for it. He was willing to die for them and they'd called him an attention seeking liar. Black spots invaded his vision as his breath quickened. To hell with them, to hell with all of them! They weren't worth it, none of this was worth it. He was done, he didn't care anymore. They didn't want help? Fuck 'em. The world was ending and no one cared, the world was ending and no one was trying to save it. He'd tried and they'd spat on him. One last thought formed before darkness claimed him. He may have lived as Greg Veder but he was going to die Void Cowboy, as his true self.
IIIIIIIIII
Alexandria was the last to take her seat around the round table and the first to begin the discussion.
"I've recently became aware of a possible threat; a poster named Void Cowboy, real name Greg Veder, on PHO has revealed nearly every one of our secrets. He states that a woman in a fedora came through a portal into his room, showed him her breasts, and told him everything." The hero's gaze, along with everyone else's settled on Contessa.
The Cauldron's thinker covertly swallowed a couple more pills to help deal with her hangover as she tried to remember the events of the previous day. "Alexandria, in seven minutes you need to door to his room and either expose yourself or perform some sort of sex act, a kiss would be sufficient, and then tell him that you are also the Chief Director of the PRT. Eidolon, in three days seven hours and seventeen minutes you need to door to his room wearing only the top half of your costume and assless chaps in place of the lower half and reveal every dark thing you've done in the fight against the enemy. Legend-" she took a breath and did her best to avoid vomiting, why in the hell had she drank so much? Was it part of a path that she didn't remember? "Micky Mouse shirt over your regular uniform, door to his room in one week, three days, six hours, and twenty two minutes, and whine that no one tells you anything and that you're basically a sap that we keep around as comic relief or something along those lines. Just generally bitch about how none of us respect you at all Now if you'll excuse me, I have a path which requires me to be elsewhere."
Legend looked around the table. "You guys respect me, don't you?" Everyone ignored him.
"Door to my quarters." She made it to the toilet with seconds to spare.
IIIIIIIIII
Greg wasn't sure if he should be enraged or depressed. The response to his second post revealing the truth were, if anything, even worse than the response for his first post.
BigRedGroat
Post 01: Giant conspiracy controlling the world? You've got me interested. Scion actually an alien that grants powers and is planning to destroy the world? Sounds reasonable. The Triumvirate in charge of the conspiracy to fight him? Of course, who else would it be?
Post 02: The Chief Director actually being Alexandria? Not cool outing a member of the Triumvirate, but it all makes sense . . . wait, I skipped over something . . . let me go back . . .
Post 01: A woman willingly showing Void her breasts.
Post 02: Any woman let along Alexandria showing Void anything or showing him any amount of affection? Welp, my suspension of disbelief has been tripped. Guess it was all a lie. You had me, you really had me going but you went too far. Should have suggested something more believable like . . . I don't know, being able to get powers from a milkshake made from blended alien brain matter or something. Now that I would believe. Void seeing tits that weren't digital? Not a chance.
Gregs teeth ground together. It was maddening! He'd been willing to die for these people and this was how they repaid him? This? Fuck them! FUCK ALL OF THEM! He'd show them! HE'D SHOW THEM ALL!
IIIIIIIIII
Doug eyed the creepy loaner as he made his way through the school. Something about the way the odd kid carried himself bothered him. It spoke of someone pushed too far, of someone that no longer had anything left to lose.
"You know what's up with the spaz?"
Mike shook his head. "I heard he told Eric Weiss, you know, the Empire kid, that the whole reason he joined a gang was so that no one would find out that he was a closet case and then he told Erik to fuck himself or he, Veder would fuck Weiss' mom."
"What'd Weiss do?"
"Nothing, just kinda stared at him till the spaz stormed off."
Doug thought about it for a moment. "He's either got powers or a gun. Put out the word that we leave him the fuck alone."
"Yeah," Mike agreed. "And we keep an eye on him just in case we need to start thinking about calling in sick."
"Just in case," Doug agreed. "See if he has any friends. They all call in sick, we get the fuck out of school. Just in case."
IIIIIIIIII
Greg couldn't calm down. He was still in a rage when he got to school and didn't bother trying to hide it. When the school's biggest Nazi came up to him he told the fucker exactly what he thought of him, exactly how Void Cowboy would have done on the forums.
"Um, Gregory," Mr. Gladly tried to get his attention.
"What!" Greg barked.
The teacher forced a grin. "You know that you can come to me if anything is bothering you, right? I've always been on your side and I always will be."
"Sure, fine, we'll pretend like that's true," he said dismissively, hoping the man would get to the point.
"Anyway. As I was saying, you know how I've always been on your side and I was hoping that you'd be willing to tell me ahead of time if it was a good idea to call in sick?" The man said delicately. "I wouldn't tell anyone," he added quickly. "It would be our little secret if you wanted it to be."
"Fine, sure, whatever."
"Good." The teacher seemed to relax. "Should I call in sick for the rest of the day or should I finish class? Whatever you decide?"
"Finish class, I guess?" Greg started to get over a bit of his anger as confusion.
"Great, you're the boss," Mr. Gladly agreed. "We'll finish class since you said we can but we can stop and I can leave at any time if that's what you'd prefer."
"Uh . . . sure . . ."
Greg spent the rest of the day lost in thought
IIIIIIIIII
Eidolon turned off his brain and just let flow a stream of everything that came to mind, of every horrible thing he'd every done, every horrible thing he'd even contemplated from the time he'd gotten his powers to the present. He didn't bother looking at the kid at any point during the tirade, why would he? Contessa had not told him it was part of the path and it wasn't like the kid mattered at all beyond the path.
"Door to my office."
If he had he'd have seen the look of horror which adorned Greg's face from about a third of the way in. The boy contemplated what he'd learned and he contemplated the fact that no one would believe him no matter how hard he convinced them of the truth. Shoulders slumping, Greg Veder gave in to despair and Void Cowboy took his place. Void didn't care that no one would believe him, Void did what he did not for recognition but for duty.
PHO: The Triumvirate: HEY HAT LADY!
Page 07 of 15
BigRedGroat
I'm not going to touch what you said about Eidolon with a ten foot pole. There are more than enough people telling you exactly what they think of it, and you, that I don't feel the need to pile on. His assertion that the PRT gets most of their off the books budget by shoving coal up Alexandria's ass and having her shit out diamonds on the other hand . . . now that has promise.
MileDown
I've already drawn a pic of what that might look like link
Reiko-CHAN!
I for one would like to think BigRed for reminding us all that we're the PHO, we shouldn't give a shit about the fact that Void defamed one of the world's greatest heroes. We should give a shit about the fact that Void has given us all a new fetish.
FwapFwap
I think the rest of it was just a troll for the EndBringer Cults. Eidolon x Endbringer BDSM anyone?
DevientArtist
I've got the roughs half finished, Fwap, give me a bit more time and I'll have something up that'll give everyone an idea of how I see it going.
Reiko-CHAN!
GOD DAMN DO I LOVE THE INTERNET.
IIIIIIIIII
Doctor Mother nodded as Alexandria arrived to the meeting room. It was just the female members of the conspiracy that day. There was no need for Legend and inviting Eidolon would be counterproductive, considering the fact that he was one of the subjects they needed to address.
"Sorry I'm late," Alexandria stated. "My test went a bit long."
"No problem," Doctor Mother stated. "Have a seat."
"I'd prefer to stand." Alexandria said.
"Suit yourself. How did the test go?"
"Viable," Alexandria said, placing a perfect clear diamond on the conference table.
"Excellent." Doctor Mother made no move to pick up the sample. "Get it to the labs. We need to see if it has any unusual properties that natural diamonds lack."
"Moving on to the other issue. Have you looked into his allegation that Eidolon subconsciously controls the End Bringers?" Alexandria asked curiously.
"I did," Doctor Mother replied. "I also found it to be true and have devoted resources to controlling the situation."
"So we'll no longer have to deal with End Bringers?"
"So they'll be directed at more appropriate targets," Doctor Mother corrected. "Was leaving me out of your path to create a powerful thinker part of your path or was the creation of a powerful thinker a side effect of your path to destroy several investigations into the existence of Cauldron."
"Yes," Contessa agreed, trying to keep her meal down. Why in the hell had she decided that the best cure for a hangover was another drink and who in the hell had said that you can't be hung over if you stay drunk? She regretted everything.
"Good," Doctor Mother said in satisfaction. "Be sure to have a path dedicated to keeping him safe. Alexandria, be sure to dedicate some of our other assets to do the same to help keep the path simple."
"Done."
"Was it beer before liquor or liquor then beer?" Contessa muttered to herself. "Absinthe before wine and you'll be just fine?"
IIIIIIIIII
Greg resisted the urge to roll his eyes as Legend droned on about how the rest of the Illuminati only kept him around so that they could ignore him and keep him in the dark and how he could make hard decision too if he really needed to. The first time a member of a vast conspiracy had come to his room to tell him the darkest secrets man was not meant to know, he was excited, now he was just annoyed and hoping the man would get it over with as quickly as possible. To think he'd once been a fan of capes.
"Thanks, Greg, you're a really good listener," Legend said, finishing things up. "I know I shouldn't dump all this on you, but Contessa told me it was a vital part of one of her paths and . . . well, I just feel a lot better after getting everything off my chest. I guess I just needed someone to listen."
"No problem," Greg said, trying to bring his attention back to the conversation. "Here's my suggestion. Don't try to be something you're not. You're a good guy, the good guy. Don't try to be some dark asshole. The world's got too many of those and not enough good guys." Greg sighed. "Partly because no one respects good guys and everyone shits on them constantly."
"So what do I do about that?"
"Maybe remind the world that you're a good guy because you choose to be a good guy," Greg spit balled. "Find a target that most people hate and let yourself lose your temper. Fill a hospital with people who're going to be released only to go to a prison forever or something."
"Any suggestions?"
"Well, I do live in a town full of Nazis."
IIIIIIIIII
Eric knew he was going to die. Had known that he'd been living on borrowed time ever since he'd been outed at school but he didn't expect that his end would be quite so messy as it looked like it was going to be.
"I'll give you this," Hookwolf said. "You didn't make me run. Shows you have more stones than your kind usually do." Blades grew out of the man's body. "But you know what we do to fairies in this town, don't you?"
"No," an unfamiliar voice said calmly. "Why don't you tell me."
Eric's eyes widened in shock when they settled on the world's most powerful blaster hovering above them.
"Now," Legend continued. "We can either do this the easy way or we can do it the hard way. The choice is yours."
Eric flinched as Hookwolf stepped forward and swung a spike covered fist towards his throat.
"I see that you've chosen to do this the hard way," Legend said conversationally. Night turned into day.
IIIIIIIIII
Emily groaned awake as her phone dragged her from sleep. This had better be good or she was going to personally destroy the suicidal idiot that thought it was a good idea to disturb her rare moment of rest.
"Piggot!" she barked.
"Legend's in town," the voice of the night duty reported. "He came across Hookwolf about to kill a boy for being gay. He isn't happy. He's bringing in every member of the Empire he can find and he isn't being gentle at all."
"Send a car," she ordered.
"Yes, ma'am. It's already on the way, ma'am."
IIIIIIIIII
Kaiser considered what he'd been told; a member of the Triumvirate was in town, had caught one of his capes in mid hate crime, and had reacted badly. That bad reaction was splattering on the rest of the Empire.
"Put out a statement that says we don't have a problem with the . . ." what in the hell did those people like to be called again? "But bandits. Say that Hookwolf was out of line and tell the rank and file to start flying those stupid rainbow flags."
"Uh." His minions gave each other side eyed glances. "I'm not sure this is a good idea-"
"Well I'm sure that this is a great idea," Kaiser interrupted. "And since I'm the boss, we're doing things my way."
To Kaiser's shock, he was incorrect. Legend was, for some reason, not amused by the rainbow swastikas the Empire members began sporting and ended up calling in reinforcements from the New York Protectorate to help with the mop up.
IIIIIIIIII
Some people might have seen the success they had with Legend and become inspired to embark on a career as a therapist or psychologist. Others might have been inspired to attempt to use their new found abilities for more nefarious purposes. Greg? Greg just posted more and more insulting and provocative allegations about the Triumvirate, the PRT, the Protectorate, capes in general, and a long rant about the relative merits of Barbara Eden vs Elizabeth Montgomery which surprisingly was what got him a temp ban. Apparently one of the mods was both a petty unprofessional dick and a fan. Who knew? Which was why he was poking around his room looking for something else to occupy his time when he came across the hat lady's flask.
"Fuck it," Greg muttered to himself. "She didn't want people drinking out of it, she shouldn't have left it lying around." He needed something to help him relax and what was the worst that could happen?
IIIIIIIIII
Lung glared at the boy urinating on his shoes. Obviously a new cape that thought they had some power that would allow them to face him in combat. The rage dragon forgot about the group of thieves that had just robbed him, he had a much bigger insult to avenge and a much easier target to vent his rage upon.
That was of course when the swarm of bugs attacked.
Later . . .
"So let me get this straight," Greg said. "In exchange for letting you take the credit for the take down, she gets what? A pat on the back and nothing else?"
Armsmaster resisted the urge to frown. "She gets to avoid putting a target on her back."
"Do you have some sort of exotic way of wiping Lung's memory so he forgets who actually took him down?" Greg didn't wait for the hero to answer. "No? Go fuck yourself. Let me restate your offer. In exchange for you taking credit, she still gets a target on her back and you get adulation and maybe a bonus. Fuck you again." Huh? He'd expected to at least be arrested without charge by now. "What's the bounty on Lung up to? You just trying to avoid paying it? That's what it is, it's it you cock licking scum bag."
"That is not-"
"By the way, I've been streaming all of this live," Greg interrupted. "Fuck you again."
This time, Armsmaster did frown. "Recording a member of law enforcement without their consent could-"
Greg interrupted, "we're in public, eat my ass."
"COULD-" Armsmaster raised his voice.
"EAT MY ASS!"
"SIR, I NEED YOU TO-"
"EAT MY ASS, BITCH!"
Armsmaster increased the volume control on his loudspeaker. "SIR! YOU ARE CAUSING A PUBLIC DISTURBANCE. IF YOU DO NOT CALM YOURSELF, I WILL HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO-"
"EAT MY ASS!" Greg interrupted. "Because you're a bitch."
"I AM NOT A BITCH!"
"Yeah you are, you're an ass eating bitch!"
"Uh!" the bug hero raised her hand. "I think Lung needs medical attention."
Armsmaster dragged his attention from the battle of wits he was fighting and to the perp. "YOU ARE-" he lowered the volume. "You are correct. He appears to be going into cardiac arrest." With the speaker turned down he became aware of the voice in his earpiece frantically ordering him to stop arguing with the city's newest and most popular hero on livestream. "If you will excuse me for one moment, my defibrillator is on my motorcycle."
The bug hero turned to her classmate. "I don't think he's going into cardiac arrest."
Greg shrugged. "Do you give a shit if Beardmaster kills him through incompetent medical care?"
Taylor looked down at the gang leader and considered the matter. "Not really."
"There you go. We didn't kill him and that idiot is supposed to be the professional here."
"Why do you smell like a distillery?"
"Why do you have such perky motorboatable tits?"
"What?"
"What?"
Armsmaster returned with a large complicated tinker tech defibrillator. "Do not be alarmed, this has been developed by me, extensively reviewed by me, and determined to be safe for general use by me. There is no need to worry, I guarntee that I will not be harmed in the use of this device." He hooked the machine up to the squirming Lung. "Sir, I am attempting to render medical aid. Stop resisting."
Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on your point of view, a PRT armored transport slid to a stop and a suited man leapt out the put a stop to things. "That won't be necessary, Armsmaster!" the man said quickly. "We have a full compliment of medical equipment with us. No need to waste your valuable time on first aid when you could be using it to . . . uh, do valuable things elsewhere."
The hero nodded in acceptance and began packing up his dangerous looking 'defibrillator.'
"As for you; Mr. Brass, Ms. Ladybug." He snapped his fingers and two troopers stepped out, each carrying a briefcase. "I have your rewards for taking down Lung. Will cash do?"
Greg snorted. "Give 'em both to Bugs."
"What?" the girl exclaimed in shock. "Me?"
"I didn't do anything," Greg interrupted. "Take all of it and go to Carol Fucking Dallon and use a portion of it to hire her to royally fuck everyone involved in your getting powers. Everyone gets powers by being royally fucked. The money and a lawyer will let you fuck them back twice as hard."
IIIIIIIIII
PHO: Brockton Bay: Livestream
BBWalks (Original Poster) (First Post)
Livestream of me walking around the shithole I call home.
Potache
I can see my house from here!
MikeHammer (Call me Sledge)
Dude, that's a urine soaked alleyway.
Potache
What can I say? Times have been tough.
Froggy!Doggy
Boring
Froggy!Doggy
Boring
Froggy!Doggy
Boring
Froggy!Doggy
Boring
Froggy!Doggy
Bo-HOLY SHIT! IS THAT LUNG!
BatLife
Dude's about to die. Guess the BB in his name stood for brass balls. I don't know if I can keep watching.
Froggy!Doggy
RUN BRASS, RUN!
IHOGGEDURFATHER!
He'd only die tired.
MikeHammer (Call me Sledge)
I believe in my boy Brockton Brass! COME ON BB! He would't have started this if he didn't have a plan. We're about to see Lung get wrecked.
Froggy!Doggy
Where the FUCK did all those bugs come from? I think Brockton Brass is gonna pull it off. Holy FUCK! We're seeing Lung get his shit pushed in!
ThatFUCKER
FUCK HIM UP BROCKTON BRASS! THAT PIG FUCKER BURNED MY SHOP AND KIDNAPPED MY DAUGHTER. FUCK HIM UP!
MikeHammer (Call me Sledge)
Lung's down and Brass is still pissing. God damn is he awesome. Look at all those fucking gang bangers, none of them knows if they should run or shit themselves and then run.
Froggy!Doggy
You do not fuck with our boy Brockton Brass!
Froggy!Doggy
Beardmaster on scene. Is he . . . is he seriously trying to take the credit from our boy Brockton Brass?
MikeHammer (Call me Sledge)
He is. PRT on scene and they're not having it. Meanwhile, Brass is giving all the credit to his Ladybug. Like a gentleman.
HypnoHeart
Do gentlemen talk like that?
NemoSquared
You gonna be the one to tell Brass that they can't?
HypnoHeart
I withdraw the question.
IIIIIIIIII
Bakuda squealed in surprise and pain when someone cut her off in mid rant with the worst wedgie experienced by any tinker since the unspeakable incident of '89.
"Door to containment cell 6589 Alpha," Contessa said, not letting go of the unstable tinker's panties. "And through you go." She turned to Lee. "I'm in charge now." The teleporting assassin stared at her impassively. "Glad we agree." She stepped over to Lung's desk and removed a special key from the third drawer and then walked over to his liquor cabinet to select a very special bottle. "Door to my quarters. Move everything alcoholic to that room," she ordered.
Lee hastened to comply.
IIIIIIIIII
Greg woke up the next morning with a jumbled memory of what had gone on the night before. None of his memories made any sense at all. Just what had been in that flask? Tinkered alcohol? He briefly considered checking PHO to see if anything had happened but decided not to. He was still on a ban and he didn't feel up to creating yet another fake account at that moment. Probably nothing interesting anyway. Fuck them all anyway.
A bit of movement at his side caused him to lift the covers to find that he was not alone, the woman in the had had decided to join him sans hat and sans every other stitch of clothing while he was, sadly, still dressed in his Eidolon jammies.
"Mmmmm," the woman mumbled, clutching her flask to her chest like a teddy bear.
"You're right," Greg agreed. "It's too early to deal with any of this." He carefully lowered the covers and went back to sleep. Hopefully things would make sense when he woke up again.
Greg woke up several hours later to find that one; things did not make sense. Two; the woman was still in his bed. And three; one little drink to start the day was probably not his best idea. Oh and four, he was quite late for school but it was such a shithole that it was likely to the point of almost certain that no one had noticed his absence.
The school, several more hours later:
"I said-" Greg smashed the girl's nose with his forehead. "-shut the fuck up!" The class went silent as the school nerd effortlessly owned the school track star. "I have a hang over, I'm more than a bit drunk, and I am in no mood to deal with your shit. Understood?" His bloodshot eyes took in the rest of the room. "Anyone else want some?" No one did.
On the ground, Sophia was frantically thumbing her duress button and wondering if maybe, sinking through the floor and outting herself wasn't worth it to get the fuck away from Veder who was appearently NOT prey.
Back in Greg's Room:
Well, that was something he would find out anyway but all charges would end up being dropped so it wasn't like the lesson would stick.
IIIIIIIIII
Amy wasn't sure why she was pulled out of class and she wasn't sure of who the woman was that she was pulled out of class to meet. All she was sure of was one thing:
"I don't do requests," she said flatly.
"Your phone is going to ring in three seconds. Answer it," the woman said smugly.
Amy's brow furrowed when it did and the caller id stated that it was her mother. "What do you want, Carol?"
"I just got off a conference call with the Triumvirate, the Chief Director, and the President. I don't know who you're with, I don't know what they want, I don't want to know and I don't want you to ever tell me just please for the love of god do whatever they want you to do!" Carol's voice could be heard clearly through the speaker.
Amy's frown deepened. "I will take your request under advisement." She hung up the phone. "Who are you?"
"Think of me as your own personal genie," the woman answered. "I am able to grant you a limited wishes in exchange for receiving what I want." The woman smiled. "Your every heart's desire."
Amy's breath caught. "Every one?"
"That one would require getting you both into a relationship with the same man. Your sister can be quite kinky but she requires at least one male to be involved to convince herself that she's not involved in an illicid relationship with her beloved sister, she's merely engaged in a common male fantasy. The relationship would ensure that it was more than a one time thing."
"So I have to date Dean to get Vicky?"
"Dean is much too concerned with his public image to be willing to go along with something like that. I can arrange everything if you like. From getting rid of him to finding someone more suitable." Fortuna leaned in to whisper into the girl's ear. "I can also arrange it so that both of you are in a relationship involving multiple people if you'd prefer. Just tell me the combinations you'd be most comfortable with. Or I can arrange something else if you'd rather not."
Amy flushed. "Why . . . why don't you tell me what you want before we discuss payment?"
"Of course. I require my biological age to be wound back to approximately fifteen."
"Why?"
"Because your culture is significantly different than the one I grew up in," the woman said calmly.
"How many wishes do I get?"
"How many do you want?"
IIIIIIIIII
Piggot stepped into the dimly lit observation room and stared at the monitor for several seconds. Taking up the entire screen was the image of a weedy looking kid with a bad case of acne and a stupid look on his face.
"What do we got?" Piggot asked.
"Kid assaulted Shadow Stalker in her school, both unmasked. Same kid that told Armsmaster to." The agent smirked. "Quote, eat his ass, last night after the Lung takedown."
"Any indication on what his power is?"
"Possible thinker, he make agent Johanson burst into tears earlier and he made Franks so angry she leapt across the table and tried to throttle him."
"Giant Johanson?"
"The same. Kid said some pretty hurtful things, shrinks say that they think Johanson's had something of a breakthrough and can finally start the healing process."
Piggot shot her agent the side eye. "Who do we have in with him now?"
The tech adjusted the image to show the whole room. "Calvert."
"Joy."
"What do you suppose he just said to cause Calvert to look like he was about to shit himself?" the agent wondered.
"Hit the replay," Piggot ordered.
"The whole stupid mastermind villain thing you've got going on is idiotic and inefficient," Greg said condescendingly. "What kind of idiot actually does any of that with your power? Simulation, right? You should be living a completely normal life and running all your business through cut-outs. The fact that you're dumb enough to even be here despite the whole two timelines thing is proof that you're too stupid to live." Greg smirked. "You just died in your other timeline didn't you? You wanted to interrogate me with both timelines to play the whole all knowing thing and I either blew you in both . . ." the boy got a sour look on his face. "Let me rephrase that, I outed you in both or you did something stupider in the other one. Having thinker powers doesn't make you smart, idiot!"
"Shall I call someone to go arrest him, Director?" the agent asked.
"Seal the door to the cell," Piggot ordered. "Foam them both if it looks like either one is going to do anything stupid."
"Yes, Director."
She pulled out her phone. "Code pink five, Calvert is a parahuman with the power to simulate at least two timelines. Calvert is a parahuman with the power to simulate at least two timelines, code pink five!"
IIIIIIIIII
Vicky wasn't sure what was wrong with her sister, the girl had an odd look on her face when she returned from wherever she'd been called to go to from class. It wasn't till after the bell rung that she was able to corner the other girl.
"You okay, Ames?"
"Vicky, are you aware that Dean is only dating you because he thinks that you make a good arm ornament and he thinks that he's important enough to deserve the best because of how popular he is?" Amy asked, sounding distant.
"Sure am, Ames, it's one of the reasons I haven't let him get past second base."
"Oh." The girl went silent for a few moments. "Vicky?"
"Yeah, Ames?"
"What do you do if the devil offers you a deal to give you your heart's desire?"
Vicky blinked at her sister. "You say no, Ames."
"You're god damned right you do!" Amy nodded sharply. She'd had a devil whispering in her ear since she'd gotten powers, one more voice hadn't been much of a challenge.
IIIIIIIIII
Carol glanced at her intercom automatically when it chirped to indicate that a message was incoming.
"Ms. Ladybug to see you, ma'am. She does not have an appointment."
Carol's eyebrows went up. She, like just about everyone else in the united states by that point, had seen the takedown video and was more than a bit flattered that the independent hero had recommended her as her attorney to the other independent hero. "Send her in."
"Yes, ma'am."
The hero shuffled into her office and awkwardly slumped into the left client chair. Poor girl must have been a first gen not long from her trigger event. "Brass suggested that you sue everyone involved in your trigger event," Carol offered. "Is that why you're here?"
"No . . . yes, but not just that," the girl blurted. "He got arrested. I snuck out of class and came here as soon as I could after it happened."
"For insulting Armsmaster?"
"For breaking a girl's nose with his forehead after she tried to punch me," the girl murmured almost too quiet to hear. "I don't think he knows that I'm the same one he helped last night."
Carol took a deep breath. "I am your lawyer which means that I am the keeper of your secrets. So long as you don't confess that you are planning to commit a crime then your secrets are safe with me. Do you understand?"
"Uh huh."
"Good. Why don't you start from the beginning. Tell me everything."
IIIIIIIIII
Emily wasn't back in her office more than five minutes when her secretary stuck his head in to ruin what little peace she was pretending she had.
"Director Piggot, bad news," her secretary said.
"What is it?" she asked, her tone indicating resigned acceptance.
"It's about the kid we have in the interrogation room," the man said nervously.
"The one that told Armsmaster to eat his ass?"
"Yes, Director?"
"He still locked up with Calvert?"
"He is, Director."
"Calvert tried to hurt him?"
"Calvert has offered him several bribes to stop talking and has resorted to begging to be made his minion, Director."
"What?"
"I'm told it's gotten pretty pathetic, Director. Calvert's promising anything so long as the kid will protect him from the hat lady."
Piggot sighed. "Lay it on me."
"Carol Dallon is here wanting to know what your interest in her client is, Legend is here wanting to know why you have a friend of his in lockup, and Alexandria is here-"
"Let me guess," Piggot interrupted. "She's dating him."
"No director, her ward is." Her secretary gulped. "Her ward is young girl wearing a fedora and Alexandria has told me that the ward is considered to be the most powerful thinker in existence. I think the ward is the person Calvert is afraid of, Director."
"Of course she is," Piggot groaned. The woman considered the matter. "You know what? I'm compromised."
"Director?"
"Calvert and I served together for years meaning I can't be trusted. Tell my deputy . . . who also can't be trusted." She owed him that much. "Tell Armsmaster that he's in charge." Fuck him. "Until after we've been cleared or until Washington gets an acting director here."
"Yes, ma'am?"
"You want to be compromised too?"
"Very much, ma'am."
"Fine. Post a sign up sheet or something for the staff and cross out the names of any assholes that sign up. Any of the assholes complain just tell them that if they want to be compromised, they should have thought of that before they decided to be assholes."
"Yes, Director."
AN: Just a little something to pass the time.
Omake: Nineteeth
"The nine is in town," Greg sighed. "Of fucking course they are." He reached over and took Fortuna's flask out of her jacket. "No sense dying sober."
Later . . .
"YOU!" Greg bellowed. "Just the mother fucker I've been looking for."
Jack grinned. "Want to join up, do you?"
"Join up? With you idiots?" Greg laughed till tears poured out his eyes. "Not a fucking chance. I've got shit tons of stress to work off and you've just volunteered to help me work it off."
"Now then, I don't-" Jack cut off when the first half of the brick caught him in the face. It didn't do much damage but it did distract him long enough for Greg to get close enough for the second half the one in Greg's sock, to be in maximum effective range. Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack had undergone numerous modifications from the world's least ethical bio-tinker but Jack was still human enough to be overcome by numerous strikes to the face.
AN: Improvement suggested by Kristopher Rothkopf