I didn't have biology with Edward like Bella did. In fact, I had yet to have any lesson with any of the Cullens which was a good thing, but judging by the impending sense of the doom that overcame me as the bell rang, I had a feeling my good luck had probably run out.
I was correct of course.
I walked into my American history class, pink slip in hand, my eyes scanning the room that was quickly filling as I waited for the teacher.
A tall blond man who looked slightly older than his peers sat at the back, dark ochre eyes unblinking as I met them across the room. Dread coiled in my stomach as I looked away, taking my slip and textbook from the teacher, already knowing the words that would slip his mouth.
"All the other seats are taken, so feel free to sit next to Mr Hale at the back," Mr Johnson said with a cheery smile, completely unaware of my inner turmoil.
Taking a deep breath, I squashed my feelings down, realising Jasper was probably privy to them and walked confidently over towards him.
"Hello," I offered in polite greeting, gingerly sitting down on the seat next to him. I wasn't sure how vampire thirst and human scents worked but I tried to keep my movements to a minimum so as to not agitate him any further.
I couldn't help myself looking over at him however. His stiff posture, clenched jaw, tense muscles as well as the faint bite mark scars barely visible, peeking over his collar and sleeves, they all sent alarm bells throughout my body, telling me that the man next to me was dangerous and rightfully so. But still, there was this air about him, this slight haze that surrounded him that made him alluring and calming, that lulled into a false sense of safety and relaxation.
I hadn't quite felt that around Esme and Carlisle. Maybe it was his gift. I couldn't tell if he was projecting onto me, to stop me from fearing him or if it was just his natural aura.
It was quite the juxtaposition, to be so relaxed around a man you feared so viscerally.
Jasper remained looking straight ahead as I stared at his profile. While he wasn't directly looking at me, I could tell he was also watching me from his peripheral, so I quickly looked down at my textbook.
"Okay class!" Mr Jackson began the lesson. "As you all know, your big project is coming up worth 50% of your final grade. After much consideration, I have decided to let you work on it in partners or groups or individually if you prefer."
He was interrupted by the class cheering and classmates talking to each other, no doubt planning on the partners they'd pick.
"Quiet! Let me finish," Mr Jackson yelled, catching everyone's attention. "That doesn't mean my weekly quizzes don't stop."
The group collectively made a sound of disappointment, resulting in the teacher shouting again for silence.
"If I see continued poor performance in your quiz grades, I reserve the right to change your group pairings as I see fit."
Students raised their hands and began drilling him with questions and I zoned out, already knowing I'd be doing whatever the project was on my own and that I'd probably be failing all the quizzes. I flicked through the textbook, internally resigning myself to give up the notion that I'd be an academic weapon in my second life too.
"Miss Amani," I looked up, only having noticed the teacher stood over me.
"I understand you're new to the curriculum?" I nodded in response, unsure where he was going with is.
"How about I pair you up with Jasper, my star student for the project? He can also help tutor you so you can catch up with your peers for the final exam," Mr Jackson smiled.
"Uh that's okay, I'm fine on my own, I don't think Jasper-"
"Jasper, you don't mind do you? Perhaps this can be the challenge you so desperately need in my class," Mr Jackson said, looking over at Jasper. I turned to look at the man beside me, who had a stoic expression, but after a moment or two of silence, he gave the tiniest nod of his head to the teacher.
"Excellent! I'll let you two discuss," Mr Jackson concluded with a clap of his hands before walking away from us.
"Listen Jasper, you don't have to do this. I can do it on my own and say you help but-"
"It's fine." I looked up at him in slight shock, not expecting to hear his voice. It was low and smooth, with a slight strain. I noticed his chest wasn't moving which probably meant that he was holding his breath.
"For the project, we can do whatever you want and for the tutoring, just point me in the direction of some good books and I'll get on with it," I continued.
"No," he exhaled. I waited for him to expand and watched as he carefully took a slow breath in, his nostrils flaring. He turned his head slightly towards me, his nostrils still flaring and this time I was the one holding my breath as he essentially sniffed me.
Whatever he smelt thankfully didn't offend him but judging by the way his shoulders relaxed the tiniest bit and the way he turned his body towards me, I wasn't a blood singer or a tempting type either.
"We should work on this together, properly," he continued, his voice not sounding as strained now. I blinked at him as he met my gaze.
"Okay. When and where should we work on this?"
"Let's start with weekly sessions in the library. What time are you free?"
I pulled out my schedule from my bag, handing him the paper so he could decide what worked best for him. He seemed to mull it over, for a great deal longer than I thought, seemingly deep in thought as he stared at the paper I handed him.
I had to wonder if he was somehow communicating with Alice. Debating all the options to make sure he was doing the best thing. Maybe Alice was in a nearby classroom and he could hear her?
After a while I dropped it and looked around the classroom, already bored.
"Why are you in this class, aren't you older?" I found myself asking before I realised. I looked back over at him to see my schedule neatly folded on my side of the desk.
"Yes," he swallowed. "I have too many free periods so the school forced me to take an extra lesson,"
His response only raised more questions but I shrugged it off, getting distracted again. The feeling of impending sense of doom was back for some reason and I was struggling to shake it off.
I was racking my brain, trying to think what could warrant such a strong and awful feeling, but I was coming up short. Alice's face from earlier in the cafeteria briefly crossed my mind and the dread in my gut only increased.
Between the looks they all gave me in the cafeteria and now being partnered up with Jasper, I doubted my original plan of avoiding vampires and the supernatural would hold.
With a quiet sigh, I closed my eyes and put my head down to rest on top of my crossed arms by on the desk. I took a deep breath in, holding it for a few seconds, before slowly releasing it back out. The swooshing feeling in my stomach lessened.
I still had a hard time believing this was it, that this was my new reality. It all felt like a dream, a weird dream, or a really immersive game I was just stuck in. I'd find myself stuck in endless loops of wanting to tell my friends and family about the crazy day I'd had, only to realise I couldn't. I'd never had to grieve a loss before and suddenly grieving everyone I ever loved and cared about at the same time was proving to be too much.
I was barely halfway through my first day of attempting to hold it together and I was struggling. I had no hope getting through the rest of the semester.
I really did not want to cry in in front of a class but I couldn't deny the sting behind my closed eyes. It felt like the little facade I had built over the last couple of days was shattering and I was back to square one; back to being an inconsolable tearful mess who wanted to hide under the covers.
Suddenly, I was overcome with exhaustion. My body slumped further onto to e desk, my tense muscles giving out and relaxing without my consent. My breathing slowed and I felt like I was going to fall asleep.
As quickly as it came it was gone. The heavy blanket of relaxation quickly lifted and I regained the feeling of my muscles. I sat up, blinking my bleary eyes in confusion. I had been fighting sleep all day, but it had never been that intense where my body threatened to pass out unexpectedly.
As my brain revived from the fog and regained full awareness, I glanced at the vampire beside me. His dark eyes watched me as I realised he must have used his gift on me. I didn't quite get why he made me feel so sleepy but I guess my depressing emotions were annoying him.
After a slight staring contest, I looked away to gather myself together. Mentally, I picked up the pieces of my image and rebuilt my little facade I had established. I looked down at my textbook, reading the passage and an idea for our project struck me.
"How about we make our project about the American Revolution?"