"Can I ask you a question?"
Elliot's looking at her with careful eyes, always afraid to dive into a difficult conversation from his absent days. She told him she wants it to be a two-way street, but he still feels so hesitant, as if he's not allowed to know her life of the past decade. He feels intrusive and unworthy, but she's made it clear that she wants him to ask. So, he's asking.
"Of course. What's up?" They're content today, sitting on a bench at the park, watching the world go by as they enjoy a quick cup of coffee. There's nothing nipping at the frayed edges of their friendship, they're relaxed. Why he's asking this now, he has no clue, except for the fact that this ease between them is making him brave.
"Have you and Barba reconciled yet?"
"Sort of, I guess. We've agreed to disagree. Trying to move on from it."
"He's been a big part of your life."
"Yes, he has. He filled a huge void. Became my closest friend when I needed it."
"My replacement." He's not mad, just stating an obvious fact. Another layer revealed defining her life in his absence.
"Well, not exactly. It's different. He's not you. I don't know, Rafa is a great sparring partner, a great listener. With him, there are no strings attached. We never owed each other anything. It's seamless. Effortless."
"Until now. Until I came back and complicated your life. Added some more strings."
She doesn't respond, and he takes it as a confirmation of the truth.
"Barba took the case on purpose. Why?"
At that, he can see he struck a nerve, Liv's demeanor becoming more defensive. "He took it because it's his job."
"At first, I thought it was a dig on me or something. He's pissed off for you, so he was going to make me pay. But that's not him. He's an honorable defense attorney, he must be, to be so close to you. You wouldn't have it any other way."
"Let it go, El."
"It's almost as if he took it to protect you or something. What's he protecting you from? Me?"
"No. That's not it."
"But there's something."
She lets a minute pass, contemplatively sipping her coffee. He gives her patience, can see her wheels turning, crafting a response. Finally, she exhales a frustrated sigh. "No one's told you this, El? I mean, you've been back for a year. No one's mentioned my story?"
Well, shit. Now he's completely perplexed, because no, no one's told him anything. He's not sure if he should be infuriated or grateful. She has a story. What the fuck does that even mean? She must sense his shock, because she softens her demeanor and relaxes back into him, eyes focused on a squirrel precariously perched on a branch in front of them.
"Look, it's a long story, and I guess I'm kind of relieved that you haven't heard it from anyone else in the department. I don't want to get into the details of it right now, but I'll start with this. A few years back, I perjured myself on the stand."
Now he's all ears, because this is not what he was expecting. "Liv, that's not you."
"Tell me about it."
"No, seriously, that's not you. What happened?"
"Let's just say that I'm not the same person you once knew, Elliot. Anyway, there was a reason for it and Carisi would have squelched it, but in front of this jury, the damage would have been done."
"And you would have been raked over the coals."
"I suppose. I've dealt with worse, believe me, but he wanted to protect our credibility."
"So he defended Wheatley so that he could control the narrative. He could steer the questioning away from your past. Keep you safe and the department looking good."
"Something like that, yeah."
They're quiet now, Elliot's mind racing with too many thoughts. He's going to honor her request to drop it, for now, but he's unnerved by the fact that he missed something so big. He takes a chance, reaching his arm around her shoulder, feeling the need to just hold her and be there for her, and smiles when she nuzzles in instead of pulling away. Again, way more than he deserves.
"He's a good man, Barba. I'm glad he's in your life. Part of your family. Glad you two are making up."
She looks up at him and smiles, and he feels her warmth radiating through his soul. "Someday I'd like you to meet him under better circumstances."
"I'd like that too."