Liv's never laughed so hard in her life.
In her defense, they didn't know she was there, and she swore she didn't mean to eavesdrop.
With Noah at Fin's for a sleepover/boys day, Liv decided to get a very early start to her morning in order to hopefully duck out by mid-afternoon. She showed up to work at 5am, a giant cup of coffee in hand and the task of responding to at least a dozen emails at the top of her list. She kept her door shut and the lights off in her office, aside for her small desk lamp. No interruptions, at least until sunrise.
So when Rollins and Carisi come giggling into the squad room an hour later, Liv shakes her head and smirks as she types away. She's on a roll and does not want to intrude on whatever is going on beyond the threshold of her office.
It isn't her fault that they are so damn loud.
Liv knows those laughs, recognizes the flirty timbre, the cadence of an afterglow. She is genuinely happy for them, albeit a little wistful about her own lack of a love life. After the whole mess with Burton Lowe, she was just fine avoiding men in general. Trevor was sweet and she had a great time at his event, but felt nothing after their warm kiss goodnight. That's all it felt like, two old friends kissing each other goodbye. And Elliot… Well, Elliot was a mystery for the time being. He needed therapy and they needed time. She kept him at arm's length out of necessity; she honestly didn't trust herself to stick to her boundaries. There was no denying the chemistry that always connected them to one another, but acting on it scares her to death.
As she listens to Sonny and Amanda tease each other, it brings back warm memories of another former partnership many years ago. The parallels don't go unnoticed. Was she flirting with Elliot back then? Did she mean to? Regardless of what it could have been, it was a solid friendship. Best friends. And she missed that so damned much. The banter, the shoulder nudges, an occasional reassuring hand on the back of her neck. Two hugs that she held onto for a decade.
And then, it happens: something hilarious that breaks her reverie. Rollins makes fun of Carisi's fancy coffee addiction, and that's when Carisi delivers the worst pickup line; the cheesiest, corniest, goofiest thing she's ever heard in her life.
"Well, Amanda, everyone has an addiction, mine just happens to be you."
Oh my fucking God.
Liv clamps both hands over her mouth to stifle her laughter and not give herself away, but she's practically wheezing. If she had taken a sip of coffee right then and there, it would have sputtered out of her nose for sure. She quickly gets up from her desk and runs to her back office, holds a pillow to her face and snorts. These two were going to be the death of her with this nauseating nonsense. It was refreshing to see them openly adore each other, but this is just too much saccharin for one day. Who says that shit out loud?
She collects herself after a fashion, and when Carisi leaves a short time later and Rollins walks him out, she takes that opportunity to open her office door and pretend like she's just getting in. The remainder of the morning is quiet and unassuming, both women getting a shit-ton of work done without the boys there.
She's mildly surprised when Elliot texts her at lunchtime, asking if he can join her for some quick takeout. Ever since the Wheatley saga ended, he'd been more present and available, consistently making an effort. She can't say no to his genuine attempts at rekindling their friendship.
Amanda conveniently meets Sonny for lunch (Liv isn't supposed to know that they've already met for breakfast), and it is nice to have the entire squad room to herself when Elliot arrives. They can freely chat with her office door open and no prying eyes. Liv takes this opportunity to share the highlight of her morning with him, and resumes cracking up when she gets to the punchline.
What she isn't expecting is a very silent Elliot, eyes darting from hers and suddenly finding his pork fried rice very interesting. She eyes him curiously and stifles her laughter.
"El, did you hear what I said? I mean, come on, isn't that just a little ridiculous?"
He meets her eyes, and she swears she sees hurt behind them. "El? What's up? Did I say something wrong?"
He takes a deep breath, setting his chopsticks aside. "In a parallel universe, it will always be you and I."
"What?"
"The letter."
She wants to roll her eyes at the mention of that offending piece of paper, but his mood stops her in her tracks.
"The part I wrote. I don't know, it doesn't sound much different from Carisi."
She huffs out a breathy sigh. "It's completely different."
His gaze turns to steel. "How?"
"Pardon?" She isn't sure if he's half-joking, or if she should brace herself for a fight that is confusing the absolute shit out of her.
Apparently, it's neither, because he's breaking her heart instead.
Elliot is quiet, but firm. "Carisi is telling her how he feels. He's being honest. He's saying he loves her without saying he loves her."
Her stomach drops, and Jesus, she's not used to this. She's not used to her partner being in love with her. She simultaneously flushes with embarrassment for poking fun, and flushes with warmth over his truthfulness. She thinks back to their courthouse conversation.
I guess I didn't know how to begin.
Does anyone?
At that moment, she sheds her jaded facade. She looks him over, thinking of how much of himself he put into that sentence. Everything it revealed, everything it confirmed. The risks and rewards. The love.
He shrugs, and tries to lighten the mood by stealing a piece of her sesame chicken. As he leans over with his chopsticks, she makes a decision, and captures his lips with her own. It's simple but electrifying, surprising but comfortable. It's right. It's home. This is how they'll begin.
She breaks the kiss, grins, and bites the piece of chicken off of his chopsticks for emphasis. He stammers out a breathless laugh, and she's happy she's rendered him speechless.
"I'm addicted to you, Stabler."