Noah's dance recital is nothing short of a prodigious affair.

It better be, Olivia muses, for the amount of money debited from her bank account each month.

It's an elite dance studio in Manhattan, so the end-of-the-year show is Broadway-esque in pomp and circumstance. She has to purchase tickets in advance, at a hefty sum (no discounts, even for the parents shelling out tuition), so she keeps it simple this year. Amanda is officially in nesting mode and ready to burst- Olivia decides it's best to tell her to stay home with her feet up and not potentially go into labor while enduring three hours of dance mania. Fin would go if she asked, but she didn't ask, instead inviting Fin and Phoebe to meet them afterward for a celebratory dinner.

When she asked Noah if there were anyone else he'd like at his show, three names jumped from his lips.

Connor, Elliot, and Uncle Rafa.

Connor was an easy one. A dance recital was the epitome of normal suburban life in the McCann world, and the whole damn family was attending. While it made Olivia's life easier and she didn't have to add trips back and forth to Woodstock into an already jam-packed weekend, she was still bothered by how damn perfect they were and how damn imperfect their family (unintentionally) made her feel.

Explaining Elliot's absence was difficult, but Noah understood the perils of the job better than most of her unis. Sadly, her son was privy to disappointments often, and the excuse rolled off of him just like the many others he was so used to hearing. His shrug of indifference, the pretend understanding mumbled underneath a crestfallen face, made her ache.

Imperfect again.

Which is why she gritted her teeth, took a deep breath, and texted an invitation to Rafael, which he accepted immediately. She exhaled. Maybe this could be the start of forgiveness and healing. She's still hurt, confused, and upset, but she misses him.

This was her greatest weakness and greatest strength: missing the men in her life that have caused her the most pain and allowing them back into her heart.

Yet another dichotomy for Lindstrom to dissect.

She's already dropped Noah off backstage and greeted the McCanns sitting a few rows behind her. She finds her assigned seat and spots Rafa in the seat next to hers. It should feel more awkward, but Olivia decided today was not the time and place for negativity. Rafael stands to properly say hello, and she embraces him warmly and kisses him on the cheek. A relieved smile is painted on both of their faces as she sits, and they make safe but friendly small talk, mostly about Noah.

The lights dim, and the show is spectacular. After the second number, Olivia reminds herself that this is worth every penny to have Noah involved in this experience, living his dreams, and she's proud. She's proud of him, and she's proud to be his mother. Her eyes mist, and she allows herself a moment to let it all sink in; their tumultuous year, the discovery of more family, the people forever in their corner. Elliot. She might not embrace normalcy, may even fear it just as her partner detected, but sitting here at her son's dance recital is excitingly, contentedly, and relaxingly normal. She laughs through her applause and tears and relishes the feeling of being a good mom with an amazing son.

When the show ends, the lobby is a sea of families searching for their children to emerge from the wings. It's loud and celebratory, crowds brushing against armfuls of flowers, the studio's professional photographer capturing candids of congratulatory smiles and laughter.

Olivia hears Noah before she sees him, a yelp of delight as he races towards their crew. Rafael scoops him up in his arms, barely getting him a foot off the ground before chuckling over how tall he's gotten this year. Noah high-fives Connor and lets his parents squeeze his shoulders before depositing himself into her awaiting arms. She's a puddle of emotions as her glistening eyes betray her, and warm tears flood her cheeks for the umpteenth time that afternoon. Noah takes her phone on a quick selfie tour with everyone and is searching for a few of his friends in the crowd when he gasps in surprise at a face he spots across the room.

"Oh my gosh, it's Elliot!"

Olivia's head snaps toward the direction Noah's running, and it's him. Elliot is there, a mere twenty feet away, hugging her son like it's a normal Saturday afternoon.

Only he's away on a case- for god knows how long- yet he's here.

(And Rafael is here and the McCanns are greeting Elliot because apparently they are old pals now, and her brain is swirling with questions and her stomach is doing flip flops, and her heart…)

Her heart.

Her heart is fluttering at a hummingbird's pace, leaping at the sight before her, and she absently grasps the compass adorning said heart and thumbs it to try to soothe the mix of panic and elation flooding her veins.

The McCanns wave goodbye from where they are standing with Elliot, leaving to take in some family favorite city sights before meeting up with them again tomorrow morning for breakfast. Olivia pretends to be normal, giving them a quick wave back, but her brain is Jello. She might combust.

Elliot and Noah approach them now, her and Rafael, and she tenses. However, the men simply nod at one another, and Olivia picks up on their unspoken truce, the white flags waved for the sake of a gobsmacked preteen and his equally astonished mother. Raphael excuses himself, offering to take Noah around to find his friends and take pictures, leaving the two staring at one another. She opens her mouth a few times to attempt to speak, but his impish grin and sheer proximity are embarrassingly incapacitating. So she waits.

"I'm still on the case- I fly back in the morning."

"You flew here… for Noah's recital?"

"He invited me back when I picked him up from Woodstock. I wasn't sure if I'd be able to make it, so I didn't want to say anything in case I'd have to let him down. I hope it's okay that I'm here."

She's still stunned, and all she can manage is, "Where did you sit?"

He laughs then, pulling her into a hug that she accepts wordlessly. She didn't realize how worried about him she was until that moment, and she melts into him, letting the stress dissipate.

"The necklace looks good on you, Liv." He murmurs into her hair, and she pulls from him to get a good look at his face. She's enamored, touched by this declaration of friendship and permanence.

This is trying. This is perseverance.

This is home.

"So you left your case, which is somewhere far enough away to travel by plane, to spend three hours at a dance recital? Why would you do that?"

"Do you really want me to answer that?"

It's rhetorical, she thinks, the delivery of it in itself a declaration, but she can't muster a single sound of affirmation. She's staring again, this time with intent, encouraging him to state what he's already said at a wayward intervention, what she already knew in her soul.

She wasn't ready to hear the words then, but she's ready now.

"Because I love you, Olivia Benson, and I love your son."

She wants to reciprocate, wants to say the words she knows he's longing to hear, but her voice eludes her again. She squeezes his hand instead, and he mouths an 'I know' to her in response. He understands her better than anyone.

"I'm going to go check in on Mama. Could I come by later and-"

"Yes."

They both laugh; two more giggles in the cacophony of post-recital bliss. She's suddenly aware of their surroundings again and takes a step back, as Noah runs towards them, full of excited chatter.

There's still so much to discuss, a plethora of experiences to learn about one another, but she takes in this moment and realizes that this is the most normal she's ever felt in her life.

And it's damn near perfect.