ZERO / BLEACH / TWIST / REVERSE (here) / DYE / RED
There are two kinds of guilt: the kind that drowns you until you're useless, and the kind that fires your soul to purpose. -Sabaa Tahir
One of the water spirits perched on Madara's finger.
"No one was here but you two," she assured him. Then, glancing over at Sakura, she added, "But this one went far away. Just for a moment."
"What do you mean?" Madara asked.
"She wasn't dreaming. She was elsewhere," the spirit insisted.
"Where is elsewhere?" Sakura pressed. She held a hand out. And even though it was Madara who she held a contract with, the spirit pushed off Madara's finger and glided over to her instead. They were funny that way. She curled around Sakura's hand, wrapping around her wrist too. The water felt pleasantly cool against her skin.
"Your body was here, but you went underneath the dream. To the place where dreams come from," the spirit explained. She didn't really have a clearly defined face, but Sakura could tell that the spirit was smiling.
"I'm glad you're back. Sometimes people don't come back from that place."
The spirit jumped in the air. Then she was gone, probably back into the pipes where she was most comfortable.
Sakura stared down at the dried splotches of blood on her sheets. Her shirt. Her hands.
"Where do dreams come from?" she wondered out loud.
"The mind," answered Madara. He gave a tired sigh as he turned to her. "But don't take the spirits too literally. They don't see the world the way we do. Truths and half-truths are about the same thing to them."
"Does it still hurt?" he then questioned.
"…I don't think so. I just feel… weird. Dreams aren't supposed to hurt," she slowly replied, trying to piece her thoughts together. "What if it happens again?"
Madara's face softened.
"I'll take care of it," he promised her. Like he had always promised her when she woke with nightmares. Part of her ached to believe him. Because up until now, there was no problem he hadn't been able to solve by cracking his books open.
But this time, Madara seemed at a loss.
"I've never heard of the dreaming and waking worlds interacting like this," Madara muttered. His gaze fell on her middle, eyeing the dried blood on her shirt.
The look on his face seemed… off for some reason. It didn't frighten her. If anything, it made her chest squeeze with pity. He looked lost, somehow. Sakura reached out to put her hands on top of his.
"I'll be alright. I have you, don't I, Papa?" she said.
Madara's eyebrows slanted down. For a moment, it almost looked like he might cry. But the moment passed, and he was back to looking more like himself.
"Yeah. Exactly," he agreed. He smoothed his free hand over her sheets, whisking the blood away in a quick spell. He got to his feet, shaking the wrinkles out of his robe. He took a deep breath through his nose.
"Try to get a little more rest. I'll be across the hall," Madara then said. He left the door cracked open behind him. She could see his shadow moving as he paced back and forth. He was probably reading, maybe even reading two books at once. Searching desperately for answers that she knew he wouldn't find.
She didn't fall back asleep. Couldn't. When her alarm went off, she rose from bed, eyes dry and a little puffy. There was a single knock. The door swung open all the way. Madara stood there, book in his hand. His glasses swayed from the chain around his neck.
"I think it would be good to take a day off, don't you?" he suggested.
Sakura was already standing at her dresser, rubbing her eyes.
"No. I think I'll feel better if I'm out and about. And it's not like I'll be sleeping if I'm out doing stuff."
Madara's upper lip went stiff. The way it did when he disagreed.
Sakura then added, "I can have Shisui or Itachi come pick me up so I won't be alone."
Madara nodded. "Or Sasuke. He's always dependable in a pinch."
Sakura turned her back to him so he wouldn't see her face when she lied: "I think Sasuke said he was busy today."
Madara didn't challenge her. He left her room to give her some privacy.
Itachi showed up to pick her up less than an hour later. She knew it must have been a huge inconvenience. He might have already been halfway to the store and done a U-turn to come get her. But he didn't complain. Just said "Morning, Uncle," to Madara and then asked her if she'd had a chance to eat breakfast.
Sasuke had already brewed a pot of coffee by the time they arrived at the store. Shisui was there too, scowling and rubbing his temples as he filled out an order form for new supplies.
When Sasuke's customer arrived later that morning, Sakura pulled Itachi and Shisui into the break room to recount the strange happenings of the morning.
"Are you alright?" Shisui demanded. There was a creak from above. All three of them froze, waiting, until they decided that it must just be from Sasuke walking around. Sakura pulled the edge of her sweater up to reveal her right side. There was a faint pink line there, but no blood.
"And you said this has never happened before," said Itachi. Sakura nodded, tucking her sweater back into her jeans.
Shisui's mouth twisted to one side as he rubbed his chin. "I thought the worlds of the dreaming and waking don't overlap like that. That's why you can die in a dream and wake up like nothing happened."
Itachi nodded. "Uncle always said they run parallel but never overlap."
All three of them put together still couldn't come up with an explanation for what had occurred. In the end, Shisui hugged her. It was really the only thing he could do.
Any spare moment she had, Sakura practicing weaving her magic in the way the scrying bones had shown her. She stared at each thread of magic, observing the weight, the tension. They snapped back with surprising resiliency when pulled in any direction. Even when she had Sasuke smash against a barrier with one of his stronger attacks, the threads held firm.
She began to experiment with things outside of shields. Illusions wove with these grid patterns seemed more rooted in reality. Transmutation spells were more detailed. It was like all spells cast this way were stronger and more resilient. Which only confused her more as she wondered why Madara, who loved efficiency more than anything, wouldn't be casting in this way.
Itachi tried to copy her technique. He grimaced as the threads dissolved between his fingers.
"It's… very finicky. You have to…" Itachi trailed off as he tried to cast the net again. A shimmering grid appeared between his fingers like webbing. He turned his hand over, admiring the lines in the light. "…really concentrate," he concluded. The second he spoke, the spell sputtered out.
"Can you show me again?" he requested.
Sakura copied his earlier spell. She coaxed the molecules together, urging the magic to take the shape she wanted as they cooled and hardened. A fine mesh of magic appeared between her fingers. Shisui leaned over Itachi's shoulder to jab his finger into the spell. It sprang back, shoving Shisui's finger away.
"It's no wonder it's not popular. If you're right and this is better, it doesn't matter. If people can't cast it, it can't be useful," Shisui pointed out. He attempted the spell too. It flickered to life, but the individual threads were switched between transparent and solid, like they couldn't decide which to be. Shisui observed this, then dismissed the spell with a shrug.
"Tricky," Shisui agreed with Itachi.
"But why can I do it then? I had trouble casting even a basic light spell as a kid," Sakura wondered. She recalled watching with envy as her classmates threw out glowing orbs from their hands.
"Everyone is different. Why are you a water affinity? Why am I fire? We just… are," Shisui replied. When he held up his hand again, this time, a flame rested in his palm. He held it up to Sakura. She gathered water to her fingers. When they pressed their hands together, the flame went out with a hiss. A single wisp of smoke rose into the air.
"Where did you even learn this technique?" Itachi then questioned.
Sakura hesitated. There didn't seem to be much point in keeping secrets after revealing all of this to them.
"The scrying bones showed me," she confessed.
"Your scrying bones?"
"Madara's."
Itachi turned to exchange a look with Shisui. And Sakura heaved a sigh when they turned their gazes to her. They didn't even need to say anything for her to feel judged.
"I know."
When Shisui mashed his lips together, Sakura pushed his shoulder. "I know!" she repeated.
After a moment, Itachi seemed to give up that train of thought. And then his expression turned inquisitive. "Wait, how did bones show you magic? I thought scrying bones were dead dead."
They had all learned in school that scrying bones were made from the remains of powerful magic users. There was a long process of cleaning and treating the bones to make sure that they were safe to use. And then an even longer process to make sure that those bones could withstand the stress of having magic channeled through them. The final step was to burn them in an extremely hot furnace with a variety of herbs and incantations to sever the ties between the bones and whatever spirits or contracts might have clung to them in life.
A particularly good set of scrying bones might cost the same as a house, depending on the source. Madara never said how much, but Sakura could bet that they were worth more than her, Itachi, and Shisui put together.
"Well, given that they may or may not have caused Sakura to bleed through a dream, let's not speak in absolutes just yet, Itachi," Shisui interjected.
Itachi's eyebrows rose. He thought that over before he nodded a few times.
Shisui stayed close to her all throughout November and into December. It might have made Madara ask questions if Shisui crashed at their place all the time. But as Sakura discovered, if Shisui stayed at Sasuke's, which was closer to Madara's place, she could reach him in the dream world. Which raised even more questions.
"That's still far, you know," Itachi said when they told him of their discovery.
"Apparently she's just breaking all the rules now. So let's just go with it, Itachi," Shisui responded. Itachi sighed, raking both his hands through his hair. He fumbled for his mug. Cheek in his hand, Shisui pushed it over with the wrong end of his pen.
It would have been easier for Shisui and Itachi to switch off on guard duty, but any moment he wasn't working or debriefing with them, Itachi was out in the city keeping tabs on Naruto. He stole ("Borrowed," he protested the word.) equipment from the police station to help him better monitor Naruto and to study his movements.
After graduation, Naruto had given up his variety of odd jobs. Now he was working at the city's menagerie where he worked the night shift for security. Naruto disliked getting up early in the morning, and he loved animals, especially the slimy ones, so everyone had been excited for him when he had first landed the gig.
Itachi was constantly drinking coffee or squeezing in naps in 15-minute intervals. But he always met them with a his notebook crammed with new notes he had taken.
"He isn't checking off any of the things we normally see in an expiring contract, but that doesn't mean we can relax. Sometimes the switch happens very suddenly," Itachi then added, smothering a yawn at the end of his sentence.
Sakura was sorry. For putting such a burden on the both of them. She was sorry for spying on her friend, too. And she was even sorry for the way that Sasuke sometimes gave them odd looks as he noticed them wrapping up conversations when he joined them at the counter or in the break room.
When the second week of December rolled around, Itachi began noticing differences. Some aggression. Naruto began to trail off in the middle of his sentences. Sometimes he would turn, nostrils flaring, as if smelling the air. But he always snapped out of these weird moments and returned back to his normal life, shaking his head as if confused.
"It's going to happen soon," Sakura realized.
"It might not. Things might turn out differently this time," Shisui tried to reassure her, nudging her arm.
She didn't fall for it.
"You don't have to lie. I'm alright," she assured him instead.
One of the last days of December, Sakura asked Ino and Sasuke to grab dinner. They met at the diner. It was a particularly blustery day. Sakura made sure to wear a sweater that covered the back of her neck..
Ino must have arrived straight from work. She was in a blouse and a pair of high-waisted pants. She was reapplying her lipstick using her phone as a mirror. She waved at Sakura with her phone before she finished fixing her makeup. The static from her clothes made her gold hair stick to her collar.
"You look tired," Ino observed as Sakura slid into the vinyl booth. Sakura reached out. She cast a quick charm to dispel the static. Ino blinked.
"Oh. Thanks. Where's Sasuke?" Ino then said, handing Sakura a menu.
Sakura flipped the menu over like she needed to read it. As if each of them didn't order the same thing each time they came here. "Coming from the store. He's-"
Sakura stopped talking as her phone buzzed. It was Sasuke complaining that he couldn't feel his ass. Then asking where they were sitting.
Sasuke rubbed his hands together as he sat down next to her a minute later. He didn't accept the menu Ino offered to him, scoffing.
"You'll get french toast, she'll get pancakes and eggs, and I'm getting a turkey club. Why are you pretending you need to think about it?" Sasuke snorted, pointing at each of them as he listed off the orders. Ino wrinkled her nose.
"I might be in the mood for an omelet!" Ino protested.
Sasuke rolled his eyes. "No, you're not," he retorted. And then he looked over at Sakura, his expression softening a little.
"So? You finally going to tell us what's going on?" Sasuke asked. The waitress arrived. Grumbling, Ino quietly relayed everyone's orders, including asking for Sakura's eggs over easy. Because Sasuke was right. Ever since college, their orders had never changed.
"Sorry. I've just been… stressing a lot about things. My thesis… and other stuff too." Which wasn't quite a lie. Some of her research for her thesis did overlap with some of what was going on.
Sasuke's face told her that he knew that wasn't all. But when she added, "But still, I'm sorry I haven't been around as much. You're still my favorite cousin."
His mouth twisted as he looked away.
"Whatever," he muttered at the window.
Ino spoke up, playing with the salt shaker. ""I tried to get in touch with Naruto to ask if he wanted to come. He never answered my texts."
Sakura froze. She tried to control her face. She was so thankful that neither of her companions was looking at her.
"Weird. He always answers his texts," she forced herself to remark.
"I know, right? I'll hunt him down later. He's probably marathoning The Lord of the Rings again or something," sighed Ino.
"Maybe it's because he still owes you for dinner from last time," Sasuke suggested. Ino's eyes widened.
"I forgot about that! That sneak!" she exclaimed, slamming the salt shaker down. Sasuke snorted. Ino burst into laughter, launching into a rant about all the times Naruto hadn't paid her back for sodas or subway fare over the years. Sakura laughed along too.
She wanted to remember them this way.
Ino's eyebrows moving the way they did when she got super into a story. And the way Sasuke curled his hand over his mouth to try to hide his smiles.
As Ino went on, Sasuke cast a glance her way. His forehead creased. He lowered his hand.
"You're being weird," Sasuke observed.
Ino fell silent mid-sentence. Her eyes fell on Sakura too.
Sakura tried to laugh it off, saying, "How do you know when I'm being weird. Maybe I'm always weird."
Sasuke rolled his eyes again. He gave her a jab with his elbow.
"Because. When you get to know someone, you know. It's like… little parts of them become part of you. And then you just… see."
Ino wrinkled her nose. "Woah. Sasuke being all sentimental? Am I dreaming?" She pinched herself.
Sakura's smile faded.
Sasuke searched her eyes. Begging for an answer.
She answered him with a smile. Because otherwise, she would have started crying right then and there. "I'm alright," she assured him.
Itachi was supposed to meet with them at Shisui's on New Year's Eve. Shisui brewed a pot of coffee. Sakura brought bagels. They chatted about the weather, and then about the morning traffic as they waited.
9 am passed.
Itachi was never late for anything.
Shisui paced in front of the stove, crossing and uncrossing his arms as he tried to look busy.
When 10 am rolled around, Sakura got to her feet. She grabbed Shisui's arm.
"Let's go find him. Maybe he overslept." Neither of them believed that lie. But it felt better than saying whatever else it could have been.
They took the subway to Itachi's apartment. Shisui's hand firmly grasping hers, as if he was worried about her flying off if he took his eyes off her for even a moment. As soon as they walked into the building, Sakura's stomach twisted with the wrongness. Something about the quiet made her uneasy. She hesitated in the hallway, lingering in front of the mailboxes.
She almost begged to leave until Shisui squeezed her hand. They climbed the stairs up to the second floor. The air up here felt even heavier. There was a smell that she recognized. She wished she didn't.
The linoleum floors squeaked under their boots as they counted the apartments. Finally, they arrived at Itachi's place. Shisui punched in the code. He pushed the door open, calling, "Itachi?"
Sakura saw red. She didn't even have the energy to scream. She was on her hands and knees, gasping for breath as she watched Shisui run through the pool of blood.
Itachi was dead.
He was dead, hole gaping in his chest. The light gone from his eyes. His knife by his limp, battered hand.
He was dead and it was all her fault.