Chapter 5: Guilt

"Len, promise me!"

"Huh? Promise you what?"

"Promise we will be together forever! Promise me you will love me forever, and only me!

"Um..But Rin-"

"Promise me, Len!"

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"Ok, I promise, Rin,"

If only I were careful, if only I were more responsible and had more self-control, he would have still remembered. So, that's the damage I caused to him, to us. Len.

What would he think if he found out that his amnesia was caused by my recklessness, yes he took my oranges and ate them all that day, but it doesn't mean he deserves to have his memories gone. Who am I kidding, why am I even arguing over the fact that he deserves this for eating all my oranges? Of course he doesn't, no one deserves such a fate! Haha, now i'm just acting like someone from a movie.

Currently, in my room, I sat in the edge of my bed. I had arrived abruptly. I believe I didn't come out of my room after what happened. Kiyoteru tried to make me come out, but I didn't respond and kept my door lock. Eventually he stopped and said "Rin, if your hungry, the food is on the table," he was always a supportive brother, even back then, he comforted me, telling me it's not my fault that Len ended up leaving the neighborhood.

It was good, it was great that I did get over it, but now knowing that his loss of memory was the cause of that incident, it made me feel guilty. The feeling in my chest hurts. To be honest, that's not all, because if he did forget, then it means he really did forget our promise. And it felt worse knowing it was my fault.

What should I do? Because now this Len is really not the Len i knew and love. "How hopeless," I sighed. Maybe it could still work? Maybe I could get to know him again. It might not be the same, but.

I stood up with determined face. I look at a picture in my desk, I was me smiling like a idiot while Len was smiling beside me as well. "Well, childhood friends, childhood crushes," I sighed, guess i have to restart from scratch. The guilt is gone, but I need to tell him the truth about everything tomorrow, even our promise, and after that i can restart, and make him love me again, he may be different and he doesn't remember our memories together anymore, but in the end, he is still Len, and nothing will change that.

I heard my stomach growl, I chuckled sheepishly, "Well, i better go eat, I'm hungry from all the contemplating."

"What's up with you, Len?" Kaito said, breaking me out of my thoughts. "Huh, what?" I replied. "Well, you've been spacing out lately, what's up with you?" He said.

Oh, right. Me and Kaito don't have our houses near each other, but we do cross paths on thw way to school, that's how I met this ice cream freak.

"Well, you know Rin, right?" I said to him, not facing him as we both continue to walk side by side. "Rin...you mean the girl that looks like a genderbent you?" He finally replied after a few moments of his thinking noises. I nodded. I sighed: "Yeah, yesterday sh-" I was about to say, but Kaito rudely interrupted, "Oh! You mean you have a crush on her?"... I punched him lightly at his side for one; interrupting me. And two; for making such, I wouldn't say absurd, but fast judgment of the situation.

"Ugh..err, I guess I'm wrong then, sorry," He said, chuckling a bit as he rubbed his side. I sighed, "It's ok, and sorry as well." Kaito then turned to me "So, what were you about to say again?" He asked. "Well, yesterday Rin, she cried and left running," I said, I look at Kaito to make sure he won't say anything yet, he nods. "I didn't know why, but...Kaito, i trust you enough that I will tell you this, don't tell anyone, ok?" I said to Kaito woth a serious expression, he nodded, his expression also slightly becoming more series.

"I have amnesia, I don't how or why, my Parents said it was a accident, and I believe them, but they didn't tell me what caused it," I said, Kaito stayed quiet, wanting to me to finish what I wanted to say. I smiled, thankful for his patients, despite his obvious lack of manners, he is still kind and respectful, he just doesn't have the knowledge.

"I assume, maybe that accident relates to Rin, maybe that's why she left me yesterday crying. She felt guilty for causing me this amnesia," I said, then nodded, finally done with my turn and giving him his. He goes deep in thought, hand in chin before finally saying, "Do you have any negative feelings towards her with what you just explained?" I shake my head, yes if my theory were true, then it would be her fault, no denying that, but in the end it would still be an accident, and if it was an accident, then it means it wasn't planned.

"Then, tell her that first, and..talk," He said with grin. Such a simple, but rational solution, I nodded, agreeing. "Yeah, I'll do that later."

"Oh, we arrived, well, see ya later, Len, Luck to you," Kaito said before parting ways with me, but not before he flashed me a grin and a thumbs up.

I chuckled and did the same before I went my way. He rather took the news well. No "Wait? What!!!?" or "No way!" or something like that. Then again he was always a simplistic person, from my time with him, nothing fazes him much, so maybe I should have expected this? Whatever, no time to dwell on that. Right now, I need to go to class, and talk to Rin at lunch, or even later when I arrive at the classroom, I don't mind when, as long as it's today.