Chapter 38
The Silver Doe
The dark water was still churning where Laurel had plunged. The dark waves were going to crash up to the boulder from where Remus waited desperately for the woman to re-emerge.
"Shit,"— he cursed under his breath as he began to take off his jacket, ready to go looking for her.
"Don't jump, Remus." — Laurel had resurfaced a couple of meters away. — "It is frozen cold",
The woman swam quickly to shore, her bare feet seeming unaffected by the pebbles. Her drenched hair covered part of her face reddened by the cold, the long black robes stuck to her body, revealing the distinctive curves of her figure.
Remus felt a slight tremor in his legs as he saw how the woman walked towards him, looking at him with a mischievous smile as she combed her hands through her hair, freeing herself from seaweeds and small twigs stuck in it. She was alluring, dangerously alluring.
He took a deep breath, taking in the scent of the Akardos, making sure the apparition in front of him was not a Kelpie, a shapeshifter spirit of the Scottish lochs known to hypnotise and drag its victims to the bottom of dark waters. He stared at her feet waiting for them to transform into horse hooves.
"What´s wrong with my feet?" — Laurel asked when noticing Remus' gaze.
"I thought…" —The wizard shook his head and descended from the rock. — "Never mind".
Laurel started shaking while doing her best to wring out the water from the robes, her nails turning slowly blue.
Remus pulled out his wand, and whispered a few words, drying her clothes.
"It´s a shame you cannot do much for my hair" —she chuckled.
"What were you thinking? You will freeze!" — He exclaimed, approaching her and placing his wool jacket over her shoulders, hugging her tightly.
Laurel opened her eyes, taken aback by the sudden physical closeness. She allowed for a couple of seconds to pass by before trying to wiggle out of his embrace.
"Thanks, but I am heading back". — she said while removing the coat, but he stopped her.
"Jumping out of nowhere into a freezing lake is not rational behaviour, Laurel. You have to tell me what's going on".
"I have already told you…"
"I know is not related to Harry". — Lupin doubted to say the next. — "Is Severus being stern with you? Mistreating you?"
"I wanted to get rid of that horrendous pumpkin juice, that's all". — Laurel put on a fake smile and hugged herself, staring back at Remus. — "About Sev, I don't see why you should care".
"I care. Do you seem fair I tell you all my problems with Dora while you don't bother to share yours? Trust me, if I saw you happy, I wouldn't bother asking, but you seem gloomy recently":
"He doesn't mistreat me". — Laurel felt a sudden heat on her cold cheeks. — "Stern yes. You know him".
"If you are not happy with a relationship, why do you pursue it? He is the coldest man I know. You two don't fit in".
Laurel shrugged her shoulders.
"Tonks didn't have much of a choice who to fall for. You either. It just happens, you know? I just wish…". — Laurel let out a nervous chuckle. — "Look, you are assuming we have something serious, steady… but reality is nothing like that. We have no plans, no future dreams".
"He cannot. Not when he's You-Know-Who's right-hand man. There's nothing for you in his life, Laurel".
"Yes. You are probably right, Remus". — She felt a burning sensation in the back of her throat, her eyes turned red. — "Maybe I am just putting too many hopes on him? I feel ridiculous sometimes, especially because I know he keeps comparing me…"
Laurel stopped on her tracks and let out a tremulous sigh. She looked at Remus with shy eyes.
"I am not enough for him".
He hugged her and she allowed it this time, her hair wetting the wizard's ragged sweater.
"You are wrong. You are too much for him". — He muttered, breathing deep into her sweet scent. — "A bit of separation maybe good. I can ask Dumbledore to let you stay in Hogsmeade. The Hog's Head is not luxurious, but we can arrange a nice room".
"I don't think it necessary. I am happy where I am".
"He's undeserving of your love".
Laurel looked up at Remus' amber eyes in disbelief.
"How can you say such thing? You among all others, Remus. You think yourself unworthy but there is Tonks, loving you unconditionally. We all deserve to love and be loved".
"It's different".
"No, it's not". — Laurel broke away from the werewolf's arms. — "I really think you should go with Tonks. It would be a great surprise for her and her parents".
"But…"
"Leave me with my problems. Anyway, I will have to be staying in the castle". — She smiled slightly — "The maturation of the new batch of Lupinaria will be completed in time for the next Lunation. And that reminds me…"
The woman rummaged through her robes until she found the potion kit that had been given to her earlier that day. She breathed a sigh of relief to see that the small satchel and its contents were intact but, knowing how cautious Severus always was, it didn't surprise her much.
"I think I can come up with an analgesic for your night pains". — She mixed a few ingredients together and handed the tiny bottle to Lupin. — "I'll ask Severus for something stronger later. He must be very busy with Dumbledore."
"Thanks". — He said, putting the bottle inside his pocket. Then, staring into the castle he sighed:
"Always so busy. Always so secretive. It's a pity he doesn't have much free time left to share with you. This view is truly wonderful".
"I suppose is related to the Order". — Laurel sighed too, feeling her eyes burning again.
"My invitation still stands, you know? Hogsmeade is not far away, Dumbledore and Severus will be very busy and a good old butterbeer will make you feel better".
Laurel grew silent for a long moment; the soft breeze came back, and the sun rays grew weaker. She turned to look for her shoes.
"Let's go".
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The afternoon was falling surprisingly quickly as Remus and Laurel walked in and out of the different shops in Hogsmeade. The Akardos walked happily among the cobbled streets, her head turning in all directions, spellbound by the beauty of the picturesque town and smiling so much that her cheeks began to ache.
Honeydukes was getting empty as closing time approached, the two adults being the only ones left in the farthest corner of the store. A sign announced:
UNUSUAL TASTES
"I bet you can't eat the whole thing." —Remus pointed to a jar filled with what appeared to be caramelized peanuts. The label read: Cockroach Clusters.
"And I bet you couldn't stomach even a single one".
"Go ahead. Butterbeer is on me if you do".
"Challenge accepted, Remus".
Laurel felt how her stomach churned at the first bite, nonetheless she did her best to keep a straight face.
"You really have weird tastes" — Said Remus with a mixture of amuse and disgust in his voice.
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The Three Broomsticks was a tiny, noisy, smoky tavern.
They made their way to the bar where a curvy woman with golden curls and a very pretty face greeted Remus with a warm smile. However, she didn't extend the kind gesture to Laurel. The woman looked her up and down, disapproval on her face.
"Where is Dora?"
"With her parents. She'll be back soon" —Remus replied, blushing weakly— "This is Laurel..."
"The same?" —Madam Rosmerta interrupted him, appearing totally indifferent to Laurel.
Remus nodded and soon two foaming tankards of hot butterbeer were in front of them.
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Enough of your jokes, Remus, it's time to head back to the castle," —Laurel chuckled as she stood up.
"Wait, what's the rush?"
"It's late, Sev must be worried".
"He must still be with Dumbledore".
"How do you know that?"
Lupine shrugged and surreptitiously glanced at his wristwatch.
"How about another round?"
"Answer me, Remus".
"I don't know, it's just a guess. If he hasn't been interested in coming to look for you, it is because he must be very busy, right?"
Laurel paled and sat back down next to Remus, taking a swallow of Butterbeer to wash away the bad taste that had suddenly risen in her mouth.
"And it´s about Severus who I would like to talk about. I know you are in love with him. Even thought I can't understand… It is my belief you need to set boundaries. He might respect you more as a serious relationship if you do. I think you need to speak to Dumbledore".
"What are you babbling about?" — Laurel looked at Remus with a frown.
"Where are you going to spend your summer, for example? You have no plans, do you? You rely too much on him. Look, he needs to see you standing on your own two feet. Show him you are not the abducted girl, still under his wing. —Lupin craned his neck, vacillating. — "Speak with Dumbledore".
"I have thought about that. I could ask the headmaster to allow me to remain in the castle".
"That's right!" —He smiled. — "How about another round to celebrate you are coming back to your senses…"
But before Remus could call out to Madame Rosmerta, a sudden, beautiful and haunting melody completely silenced the din from the tavern. The song lasted only a few seconds, but Laurel had the impression that it had flooded her entire soul.
"What was that?" — She asked once the singing died down and the merriment resumed.
"Fawkes". —The man murmured. — "I think you should go and speak with Dumbledore now. Come, I will take you to his office".
"Didn't you say he might be busy?". —Laurel was shocked to see him standing up abruptly. —"It's very late, I can go tomorrow".
"There's no better time than the present!"
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Lupin was holding her hand, guiding her through the castle. The hallways were empty and dark, and Laurel's stomach was in a knot. Why did she feel so restless? It wasn't the first time she had spoken to Dumbledore in his office, but it didn't take long for her to notice that Lupin also seemed rather apprehensive, growing pale and sweaty as they approached the headmaster's office.
They stopped when they reached the ugly stone gargoyle that guarded the entrance. To Laurel's surprise, the gargoyle stepped aside without needing to mention a password.
"See you soon, Laurel". — Remus whispered. — "Good luck".
"But I thought…" — Laurel watched strangely as the man walked away quickly.
She swallowed and hesitantly placed a foot on the circular staircase and very slowly it began to climb until it reached the oak doors.
The woman took a breath and was about to knock when a familiar voice reached her ears. She approached slowly and noticed that the doors were not completely closed. Peering through the crack she could see the back of Severus, sitting in front of Dumbledore. They seemed to be in the middle of an argument.
She was about to turn and leave but curiosity got the best of her when she heard that name.
"I have spied for you and lied for you, put myself in mortal danger for you. Everything was supposed to be to keep Lily Potter's son safe. I cannot take part of this. I will not…" — Severus buried his head in his hands, his voice sounding crushed.
"That is touching. Has your infatuation with Laurel made you soft, Severus? Made you realise there is more to life than defeating Voldemort? Has she made you forget Lily's sacrifice?"
"Never… Don´t… I don´t…" — Severus stood up, moving away from Dumbledore, his eyes closed in horror.
"Do you love that woman enough to make you forget that it was because of your actions that Voldemort marked Harry as his equal?"
"I don't! My whole life, I have only lived for Lily, and nothing will ever change that". — Severus voice cracked. — "Expecto Patronum"
From the tip of his wand burst a silver doe: She landed on the floor, bounded once across the office, and soared out of the window.
Dumbledore watched her fly away, and as her silvery glow faded, he turned back to Snape, and his eyes were shinning.
"After all this time?"
"Always". —said Severus.
Laurel closed the door as softly as her shaking hands would allow.