Chapter 13: The Dirt, Part II

ROUND 1

February 22, 0008

The next day, Tifa and Cloud were spotted arriving in Rocket Town. Sure enough, the press had a field day, hounding them as they arrived.

"Ms. Stife!" one reporter called. "Did you hear? What do you have to say about Jack Balen's comment that he would 'fill your void?'"

Yep, that was somehow recorded, and it leaked pretty fast. Everyone has a cell phone these days, so you might want to be careful what you say.

"I'm here for a friend's birthday," Tifa insisted. "But, on record, he said something very inappropriate. And I have it recorded, too."

With that, Tifa pulled out her cell phone, and played back the now-viral recording.

"What do you mean, I can't defeat Tifa Strife?" Jack Balen's voice could be heard saying. "I'll defeat her, and I'll defeat her badly. She won't know what hit her."

"And then, you'll fill the void," Sumner Balen added.

"I'll do more than fill the void after I defeat Tifa Strife," Jack Balen sneered. "I'll fill the void, and then I'll fill her void."

"She's married," a female voice called out.

"I don't give a shit," Jack Balen replied. "I've had more married women than-"

The recording ended there.

"I really hope that's not who you want as your president," Tifa remarked. "And I would certainly never betray my husband. That's all."

It was enough to quiet the crowd, with some even applauding as Tifa went on her way.

LATER…

"You said you would fill the void, and then fill her void," a reporter commented at a press conference in North Corel that happened to be occurring simultaneously.

"That was locker room talk," Jack Balen defended. "Who's never said anything like that?"

The crowd was silent.

"I thought so," Balen continued. "It's called being human. The average man wants to sleep with a woman. Otherwise, we'd all be extinct. Each and everyone of you is here because of that kind of desire. I rest my case."

"What if a man wants to sleep with another man?" someone in the crowd asked.

"Or a woman with another woman," someone added.

"As president," Jack Balen replied, "I will introduce legislation to crack down on that."

There were some cheers, though not as loud as usual.

Those cheers mainly came from the Downing men, as Dirk and his oldest son (who was old enough to vote) were present.

Of course, this was another reason Tifa was running. She wanted to protect all the Western Continent's LGBT citizens, especially Reeve and Parker.

Their lives were on the line in this election.

THAT NIGHT…

Cloud, Tifa, Barret, Jessie, Red XIII, Reeve, Parker, Sage, Yuffie, Vincent, Lucrecia, Tseng, Elena, Tobin, and I were seated at the long table in the backyard in Rocket Town. They had all just finished dinner, when one of them decided to bring up Mr. Balen again. It wasn't exactly the wrong place or time, since it was on everyone's mind.

"So he's going to crack down on LGBT people now," Shera muttered.

"I'm not surprised," Jessie said. "Since he is sexist and homophobic."

"He's not homophobic," Reeve pointed out. "But his supporters are, so he needs to listen to them. The first thing he'll go after is marriage."

Parker took his hand, offering him support but acknowledging what was at stake.

"And then, basic rights," Red XIII added.

"And women, too," added Elena. "He'll want all women living like the Downings."

"I am not giving up my science career to be a homemaker!" Shera announced. "And why is it not okay for two men to love each other, but it's okay for him to sleep with Janie Lyons?"

"You mean Jeri Lyons?" Jessie asked. "The pop star?"

"No, her twin sister, Janie Lyons," Shera clarified. "The porn star."

"How old is she?" Elena asked.

"Half his age," Tseng replied. "Younger than all three of his ex-wives."

"This is why we need you, Tifa," eleven-year-old Sage said. "I want a career. And I want my dads to be allowed to be together."

"We need you, Tifa," Jessie added.

"The whole Western Continent depends on you!" Red XIII said.

"Thanks, you guys," Tifa insisted. "But this day isn't about me. I'm not the one hitting the big three-three."

Everyone turned to Cid, who covered his face; it was his thirty-third birthday.

"Thirty-three's the new twenty-three," Shera insisted. "Besides, you have an eighteen-year-old girlfriend."

That was the one thing that didn't seem to sit well: Shera was eighteen. That means she was only one when Cid was learning to drive. Of course, Shera was very mature for her age (she graduated college at thirteen), and Cid was very immature for her age, so it worked.

"Besides," Tifa added, "we have a surprise for you. Shera?"

Shera got up from her seat and trotted over to the large object by the fence that was covered in a white sheet. Everyone's eyes, especially the men's (minus Reeve and Parker), were following her, and I'll get to that in a moment. Anyway, she pulled down the sheet to reveal a familiar-looking plane.

"The Tiny Bronco," Tifa announced. "Fully repaired."

"Thanks, everyone," Cid said sheepishly.

It was the most grateful he usually got.

Meanwhile, everyone was glancing sporadically at Shera. It was mainly because of how she was dressed, though everyone did their best to downplay it.

Finally, one of them lost her ability to resist.

"Why a bathing suit?" Yuffie asked.

"Because it's my boyfriend's birthday," Shera replied as she returned to her seat.

"Why a one-piece?" Yuffie then asked.

"It flatters my butt," Shera bluntly replied. "Not to mention it's easier to get off than a bikini. As soon as the party's over, this comes off and we have coitus."

"TMI," sighed Yuffie.

"I considered not wearing anything at all," Shera added.

"Thanks for choosing otherwise," Yuffie said, unable to tell whether she was pulling her leg or being serious.

ROUND 2

February 23, 0008

The question of Jack Balen's fling with a porn star was addressed at another press conference the next day.

Sort of.

"Mr. Balen," a female reporter began, "how can you justify having sex with Janie Lyons? She's less than half your age!"

"She's over eighteen, isn't she?" Jack Balen replied.

"That's not the point," the reporter insisted. "How can you promote the traditional family when you're thrice divorced and sleeping around with a porn star?"

"I think I've had enough," sighed Balen as he pointed his finger toward the exit. "You've got to go!"

Two security guards grabbed both of his arms and led him out of the press room.

"Anyone else have an opinion?" Sumner taunted.

The press was silent.

"Good," Sumner complimented. "We should be here to make sure Tifa Strife never sets foot in the president's office.

"If you want to see my wholesome side," Jack added, "I'll be on tomorrow's episode of Down on the Downing Farm. And you'll all see just how much of a family man I can be."

"We'll all be watching," someone shouted in the crowd.

I decided that I would be watching, too. I knew it would be a ploy to sell his campaign.

I just didn't know how successful he would be.