Chapter 72: The Proud Clod, Mark II
The corridor shifted to the right. We continued our way down, looking desperately and eagerly for the security room where Cloud and Tifa's daughter, Ada, was being held.
I was amazed how Tifa still had it. She took out five men by herself (with her bare hands, mind you), and was able to lift Tobin while he was lifting Cloud. I'd seen Tifa in action before, but never with such seemingly superhuman strength like that. That didn't happen until that night.
What really struck me is that she hadn't seemed to age a day since our double wedding two years ago. I also noticed this in Zack and Vincent as well. I began to suspect something.
Tifa, meanwhile, despite her worries about her daughter, noticed this.
"What's on your mind?" she asked.
You can't lie to Tifa, by the way. She's one of those people who knows when you're lying, able to tell by your eyes and face. She's a walking polygraph.
So I was just honest.
"So I've noticed something," I began. "I haven't seen you in a while, but you don't look any older than you did when we both got married. It's the same as Zack and Vincent. It's like none of you aged a day."
Tifa began to look troubled.
I immediately felt guilty; she was already worried sick about her daughter, and I had just rubbed salt in the wound.
"I'm sorry," I apologized. "Was that something I shouldn't have asked."
"No," Tifa replied. "I knew you'd all figure it out eventually. I just didn't know how soon."
So there was something going on.
"Figure what out?" I asked.
"The three of us had a private meeting about this," Tifa began. "We were going to find the time to tell the rest of you, but I think the cat's out of the bag."
I knew something was up. Tifa, Vincent, and Zack hadn't aged a day. And they all had one thing in common.
"Being dipped in the Lifestream does more than just heal your otherwise-fatal wounds," Tifa continued. She sighed. "It stops your aging process."
"It stops your aging process?" I echoed skeptically.
Despite my trust in my cousin-in-law, I found this pretty hard to swallow.
"I'm never going to get old," Tifa clarified. "Ever."
"So you're really still only twenty?" I asked.
"Nope," Tifa replied, "I'm twenty-two. I was still born in 1987. But I'll look like I'm twenty for the rest of my life."
"Are you immortal?" I naturally asked.
Tifa shook her head.
"I live indefinitely," she said. "Not forever. I won't get old, but I can still get sick or killed. I'll die someday just like everyone else."
"You don't seem to be happy about that," I noticed.
"There's consequences to it," she said. "And some of them are pretty heartbreaking."
I was surprised. I still had trouble believing it at the time, but I thought it was a wonderful gift. Later that night, I would understand why it wasn't.
"Look out!" Cloud suddenly called.
I looked up to see four spherical, purple brain pods coming our way.
I got one with my shuriken.
Tobin got the second one with his nunchucks.
Cloud got the third one with the third one.
Only one got a chance to pull its top off to reveal the dummy inside before Tifa kicked it over the ledge.
Now, about getting dipped in the Lifestream.
If you read Tobin's memoir, you probably already know that Zack was severely injured by Shinra gunfire. So we took him to a McDougal Island, where this strange hermit guy named Skrug dipped him in the Lifestream, saving his life.
Two more people got dipped into the Lifestream. The first was Tifa, who was severely beaten while looking for her father. The second was Vincent, to make him alive again.
But, they all now have to deal with the side effects. All three of them live indefinitely. I know this sounds like a weird time to introduce this, but it becomes a big issue later on, so I wanted to mention it now.
In the present, we continued forward.
On our right appeared to be a food court.
On our left was a carousel.
Tifa took both of Cloud's hands in hers, and looked at him sincerely.
"When we rescue our daughter," she began, "let's take her on there."
I wanted to cry when I heard that.
Like I said before, I was amazed at how Cloud and Tifa were able to keep their composure.
"Incoming!" Tobin suddenly announced.
I looked ahead to see two hammer blasters coming our way, rolling on their plates.
These things were robots that seemed to have only an upper torso, and were connected to the plate by a stick.
I took my shuriken, and sliced one of them. The upper torso fell to the ground and shook for a few moments before ceasing to function.
Meanwhile, Cloud took out the other one with lightning.
We then passed the food court and the carousel.
We were now at one of the larger stores.
And standing in front of it was a large, familiar bipedal contraption, with long arms and claws for hands.
It looked just like the Proud Clod, only it was gold.
The cockpit then opened up, revealing the three occupants inside.
"Well, well, Madam President," Jack Balen taunted. "This is as far as you go."
"Just give me back my daughter," Tifa pleaded. "And it will be as far as I go."
"You know what to do," Sumner said.
"I don't think you're listening," Cloud added. "Give me my daughter...now!"
"You are in no position to demand anything," Sumner retorted. "House husband."
"Even the most powerful woman in the world is helpless against us!" Jack insisted. "We have the Proud Clod Mark II!"
"Don't you read history?!" Tifa demanded. "If you did, you'd know Heidegger and Scarlet attacked us in one of those. We blew it up and they were killed in the explosion!"
"It's not so simple this time!" Jack warned.
"Ada's with us, too!" Sumner added. "She'll go down, or should I say up, with the two of us! You can't win!"
We quickly saw what he was talking about.
Ada was seated between them, unable to move.
We all felt defeated; there was no way to rescue her.
And then, Aerith appeared.
"You can if you target the engine only," she advised us. "If you can destroy the engine, that thing will shut down."
That was a no-brainer, but...
"How am I supposed to know where the engine is?!" I objected.
"Because you have a ghost as a friend who can go through it and see the insides," Aerith replied. "You'll find the engine on the dorsal side, above the fork in the legs. In English, its ass."
"How do I destroy it?" I asked.
"You'll have to open the latch on the back," Aerith informed me. "Once you do, that shuriken of yours should do the job."
Just then, the Proud Clod Mark II's knees opened, releasing a flame in our direction.
We all jumped back to safety (except for Aerith, for obvious reasons).
It was then that I noticed that Tobin was missing.
"Tobin!" I called.
No answer.
"Tobin, where the hell are you?!" I demanded.
Still no answer.
"Cuz?" Tifa called.
No response, of course.
"He's a coward!" taunted Jack Balen from inside the Proud Clod.
The Proud Clod fired a laser beam from its wrist, causing the three of us to jump out of the way.
"No," said Aerith with a grin, "he's a genius!"
And then, the Proud Clod Mark II stopped attacking, and knelt down.
"Shit," Cloud muttered.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"It's getting ready to fire the beam cannon," he replied.
"What does that mean?" I asked.
"It means we're fucked," he answered.
Just then, a plate on the Proud Clod's backside suddenly fell open.
A moment later, Tobin decloaked behind the Proud Clod.
Did you forget he had a cloaking bracelet?
In the moment, I did, too.
"The engine's exposed!" Tobin announced. "Waste it!"
Cloud, without hesitating, charged under the legs, and jammed his buster sword into the Proud Clod's "ass."
Sparks briefly flew.
Then, the Proud Clod shut down.
Cloud retrieved his buster sword.
"That has to hurt worse than a curtain rod," he quipped.
Tifa smacked her forehead in embarrassment.
Suddenly, a trap door in the now-ruined Proud Clod opened.
Out came Jack and Sumner Balen.
The latter was carrying Ada.
They quickly darted for the other end of the complex.
Ada was giving her mother a longing look.
MOMENTS LATER...
The chase was on!
Jack and Sumner Balen were running as fast as they could. The pathway shifted left again, and they gave it everything they had to lose us.
We were only a few yards behind them. We did everything we could to catch up to them, but the Balen brothers were extremely fast. We ran so fast that the stores on each side seemed to flash past us.
Then, a change came. We no longer saw stores on our sides, and the floors below were no longer visible. We seemed to be in a hallway, and all we saw were Ada, and her kidnappers, up ahead.
And then, the hallway came to an end, and we saw what the brothers were running towards.
It was an open elevator.
It read "service" above it.
Jack Balen jumped into the elevator.
Sumner Balen followed him, holding on to Ada tightly.
Tifa, leading us all, leaped off the floor, hoping to land in the elevator.
Instead, she slammed her body into the closed elevator door.
Tifa got up immediately, and did what she could to pry the door open with both of her hands.
But it was no use.
She pounded on the door with her fists.
She kicked it.
But that was of no use, either.
They had no choice but to wait for the elevator car to return.