4 Cheer up

"So, you aren't excited about the news?" BonBon asked. I could picture her legs kicked up in the air as she sat at the edge of my bed, bubble gum in her mouth. Through the thick blankets, I heard her chewing loud and wet, which only aggravated me. I smashed my face into my pillow and pulled more comforter over my head until I looked like a large lump in the middle of my bed.

"No!" I cried.

I heard her chewing some more, and then, "But then, maybe you can be in the Royal Guard. Being regent to the whole kingdom, no one can say no to you. And you and Vince can go exploring, fighting goblins, and running off into the sunset or whatever."

I don't know why she had to add that last bit, especially when I never thought of Vince as a romantic companion. I couldn't even picture him hugging, let alone smiling or holding hands. The image made me shiver.

"We aren't like that!" I reminded Bonbon, and my blanket mound moved when I turned my head to try and see her through the fabric, but only a haze of light seeped through the soft threads.

"Besides," I began, quieter, "The Trine Council is against it."

Bonbon sighed. "What's the point of being Regent when you have a group of grumps telling you what to do anyway? Just kick them out."

I smiled at her simplicity. "They make sure the Regent makes the right choices for Slumberland," I muttered, my smile gone.

I could feel Bonbon scoot closer to me as she said, "well, at least you won't be winging it then." She was trying to cheer me up, but it wasn't working so far.

I've just spent the last four hours listening to Professor Genius's lecture, and then writing a paper about it all. My writing hand ached, and my pinky was red and raw from rubbing against the paper for too long. It all left me in a sour mood on top of dreading what my next encounter with Father would be like.

"Camille…" her tone told me she was going to say something I wanted to avoid hearing. I pressed my lips together, pretending to see her through the white comforter while I waited.

"After what happened, I think this will be good for King Morpheus. Maybe put yourself in his shoes. If you were depressed, would you want to be here?"

I blinked, instantly thinking, "no", but didn't say it just yet. With Father's state of being the way it has been lately, I wonder how that's affecting the rest of the kingdom and how people slept in Middle Land. I didn't notice a change, but then again, I hadn't looked for it either. Everything seemed to be in place, colorful, cheery, and bubbly. Was I missing something important? Was this more than just father taking a vacation?

I didn't realize I'd been quiet for a while, and Bonbon was uncomfortable in silence because she began to squirm.

"Hey! I know!" she gasped. "Let's go for a ride!"

I returned to a fetal position, still hiding from her with a grumbled, "no, thanks".

Suddenly, the bed shook, and a heavyweight fell atop of me, causing me to shriek. Bonbon threw herself over my pathetic form, almost pushing me down further onto the mattress, shaking me around as she shouted with humor, "You need to get out of bed! Come fly with me! Now! Please?!"

She wasn't going to stop until I gave in. My shouts and grunts soon turned into chuckles and laughter after being tossed around, her hands pushing into the blanket to grab me like sock puppets.

I laughed, pushing the blankets off and taking a pillow tight in my hands. With a gasp, I hurled it at Bonbon's face, and it made an impact right before she made a look of shock.

Before we knew it, we shrieked with laughter, hitting each other with pillows and stuffed animals around my bed. Feathers scattered into the air, falling all over the room like snow. I gave in to Bonbon's demands, thinking she would make a better queen than me.

I found comfort in the wind hurling against my face, tossing my long hair back like a red cape. In a simpler day dress of teal, I could sit comfortably while I wrapped my arms tight around the long neck of my giant swan, Fenella. Her extensive white wings glided with ease, each flap another gust of power to keep us afloat among the airstream. Flying next to me, with her hat off, Bonbon smiled at me while riding atop a glamorous creature that suited her.

Her peacock, Juju, fluttered its wings hastily to keep up, with long-tail feathers shimmering under the sunlight, sparkling like a long train of silks from a dress of blues, greens, and yellow. Bonbon's peacock had wings that glimmered in silver and orange, her dark arms wrapped around its elegant blue neck while she settled her knees over her leather saddle. The wind blew back Bonbon's sorbet hair freely, her skirt fluttering around her to wrinkle over her dark thighs.

We shared a satisfying look, and then she steered her bird to fly in a bit closer.

"Aren't you glad we did this?!" I heard her bellow through the gusts of wind.

I smiled wide and gazed over the horizon of the sun setting. I thought I could see all of Slumberland below us, its entire spread glistering by the sunset, so everything appeared to be made of gold. Not a cloud in the sky, exposing only dark blue space above us.

I gazed back at Bonbon and shouted, "Yes, I am now! Thanks, Bonbon!"

And then, I closed my and inhaled the lovely scent of fresh mountain air from miles away. Looking down, I could see the palace to the far South, like a miniature toy set made up of dozens of white towers with golden peaks. The property was surrounded by hundreds of halls, apartments, and outdoor gardens. The city to the North lay like hundreds of tall candle sticks, many of them in different colorful patterns, with bridges between them. Right below us, the Lake of Dreams appeared clear and blue, its full shape close to that of a large crescent moon. Around that and surrounding the palace grounds were all forests, gardens, and fields of wildflowers.

We flew over herds of geese, swans, cranes, and a couple of air balloons with friendly waving passers.

Thinking of where to land, I steered Fenella to fly closer to Bonbon and pointed right down to the lake.

"Let's land down there. I want to sit by the lake!"

Bonbon grinned from ear to ear. "You got it!"

She rubbed her fingers gently into the feathers of her peacock and whispered into its ear. Moments later, she began to descend. I was ready to follow her, but not before I glanced to the far-off West mountains. The sun was sinking behind lush green peaks, but I knew hiding behind such beauty lay Nightmare Land, a far darker and more dangerous place guarded by flying monsters and sea creatures. Vince's father went that way this morning. I wondered if he returned, bearing news of his patrol. I paused a moment to stare, hoping to see a glimpse of the fleet returning, but there was nothing but the far-away mounds of mountains. Not a trace of Nightmare Land was visible, even from this high. Was Vince worried? Did he ever worry?

I swallowed and began to steer my steed downwards gently in a spiraling fashion to catch up with Bonbon.

Bonbon and I settled along the lake's edge, our bare feet resting in its calm waters. The water was clear and gentle, flapping peacefully towards us till it licked around our ankles. Fenella and Juju settled nearby, resting their wings.

What I liked about the Lake of Dreams was its simplicity. It was quiet and unaltered, just a lake and nothing more. I looked to its horizon, a quiet place free of boats and activity. Every few minutes, a tiny fish would jump out of the water as though to spy on us on the shore.

Now that the sun was behind the mountains, the orange sky was fading into blue. I looked at it, noticing the first set of stars starting to show up. I sighed and sank my cheeks into my hands, elbows resting on my bent knees.

Bonbon eyed me. "You have to go back eventually."

I sighed again and dropped one of my hands to let my fingers catch a tiny wave up to us. The water was cool and comfortable over my feet as it danced around the tips of my fingers in it. The water reeled back, leaving me with wet sand to fiddle with.

"I know," I began, not looking up. "It's just that, sometimes when I leave the palace, there are times I don't want to go back. But then I'm left with nowhere to really go either. I feel stuck."

Bonbon hummed while looking up to the early stars.

"You can always find a shooting star and make a wish. Wish for something you want that may help you!" she suggested, upbeat despite my tone. I vaguely looked up and shrugged.

"I don't know if that's true," I mumbled.

"People in Middle Land do it! I just found out today from gossip. Isn't that something?"

I eyed her suspiciously. "Does it come true?"

Bonbon grinned and looked away. "Of course!" She chirped. I couldn't tell if that was a lie or not, but she wouldn't look back at me. I bit my lips together and glared.

"Then you do it!" I challenged.

Bonbon sighed and leaned back with an "okay then!" She scanned the darkening heavens, searching through the growing number of stars. The calm lake reflected the sky, giving an illusion of us sitting along the edge of space.

As determined as she was, Bonbon was also impatient. I searched with her for a long time until she let out an irritable grunt and fell back over the grass, arms sprawled out.

"I can't believe it. There aren't any!" she squealed.

"You haven't even waited long enough yet," I giggled, and I let my head fall back with hers, our heads almost touching. With hands settle over my belly, I was mesmerized by the show in the sky. On a clear night, Slumberland had an abundance of twinkling wonders. Some stars were asleep, with their eyes closed, and settled up there for the night. Others were like diamonds, frozen in time, shimmering in all different sizes. There, at the far edge of space, settled the Moon, its eyes closed to indicate it was asleep while its blue-white body embittered a gentle glow to the kingdom. Everything the moonlight touched was encased with a thin silver shell.

"Hey, Camille?"

"Yes, Bonbon?

"If you saw a shooting star, what would you wish for?"

I looked at her from the corner of my eye, noticing her staring at me as I looked at her soft profile against the stars. The moonlight added a pale winter glow to her summer skin.

I blinked back to the sky when I replied, "I don't know. I think I have too many."

Not to be Queen.

"What about you?" I tossed back, and with interest, I watched Bonbon again. She smiled to herself, silver green eyes up there at all the possibilities.

"I think I'm actually okay. I don't have a wish," her silky voice purred.

I gawked at her, almost rolling onto my side. "What? You mean there's nothing you would wish for? Then why were you even looking for a shooting star?!"

"I was looking for you, silly," she immediately replied, voice gentle with a chuckle.

My body jolted, still scanning her while I breathed very quietly to hear her voice through the gentle waves.

She turned her head a little, her sorbet green hair almost silver under the sky's night.

"Nah. I'm happy with my life." She returned to smiling at the stars, and I just watched her, awestruck at her simple contentment. Her smile appeared genuine, her lovely thoughts to herself as she probably thought of all the reasons why she enjoyed her life.

A discomfort settled between my throat and chest like I swallowed a stone, which was now stuck. I swallowed, unable to push it down, and tried to distract myself from the night sky. I had so many wishes. Did that mean I was unhappy with my life? My eyes burned, ready to moisten, while a numbing sensation began to coil around my chest. I tried to take a deep breath to calm my nerves but failed at it, only having it shallow, which only made me even more anxious.

I sat up, almost gasping, and touched my heart.

This peaked Bonbon's attention, sitting up with me. "Hey, what's wrong?"

My eyes laid over my feet in the dark waters with stars, shaking my head slowly to myself while I blinked back the tears.

"You're so lucky, Bonbon. I wish I didn't feel the need to make wishes, to have a life that fulfilling," I admitted.

Bonbon lifted a foot out of the water, watching drops fall off her heel back into the lake. "That's okay, though. You make wishes, as many as you want, until you run out. And then, maybe that's when you will feel happy."

She then pulled her other foot out and rested both her feet in the grass, and smiled at me. "Got it?" She winked.

The stone in me dissolved only a little bit. Not enough to disappear. It grew a mouth just so it could whisper to me, "No matter how many wishes come true, you will always feel the same."

I pressed my lips together before forcing a smile, whatever pleased Bonbon.

"Kay."

Bonbon rose, brushing loose grass off her skirt. "We missed dinner, didn't we? You think King Morpheus will want to talk to you tonight?" She gave me her hand and helped me up.

"No. I don't know what father does after dark, but he never comes to my room personally. He usually waits till the morning for important family discussions," I explained, noticing how soft her hand was with mine. I didn't mind the grass stains on my dress nor the wet sand squishing between my toes. I allowed the grime to stick to me like a badge of honor.

A night breeze rattled the tall grass and trees around us with scurry behavior, urging us to get moving.

Bonbon jogged ahead, her heels in one hand. She suddenly froze, the wind blowing her hair over one shoulder and pulling her towards her sleeping peacock.

"Camille, did you ever talk to Morpheus about your odd dream?" She turned to me to read my expression. Instantly, I was startled, mouth open with a gasp. That told her enough, and she turned away, but I saw a look of disappointment before she could hide it.

I had completely forgotten.

I scrambled up to Bonbon as I struggled with, "I completely forgot!"

Quick to make an excuse, I hurriedly added, "but it's probably nothing anyway. I've already forgotten most of it." I lied and instantly regretted it. I didn't lie to Vince, but I did with Bonbon from time to time without meaning to until it was too late. My lips pressed together firmly as I walked towards Fenella, and put gentle fingers into her white feathers to wake her lightly. The swan stirred, her eyes fluttering open.

Bonbon was quiet as she, too, woke up her peacock with a slow rub of its neck with her hand.

"Bonbon, it's not a big deal. Why…" I hopped onto my leather saddle and stared across at Bonbon, still rubbing at her bird. The lump never fully dissolved, for it continued to agitate my throat, and I swallowed again.

"Why does it bother you so?" I asked while I settled my hands in my lap.

Bonbon jumped up and landed on her seat with ease.

"Because, unlike you, Camille, I like how things are. I like Slumberland and want it to stay that way. If there are any signs that Nightmares are making their way into our land, then your father needs to know about it. Sometimes I…" she paused and huffed, cutting herself off short. Her bird stretched its multicolor wings out and flapped them lightly to get ready.

I froze, eying her carefully to see her face twisted in frustration.

"What? Say it!" I demanded, my royal voice accidentally exposed.

Bonbon shot me a look over her slender shoulder with disapproval over my tone, the trees rattling their leaves heavily behind her as though shaken by our discussion.

"Sometimes I wonder if you want there to be chaos."

Such words rattled me to the point of being unable to move. I wanted to explain that I didn't, that she was wrong, but nothing would come out. The stone trapped my words from coming up, all in a pile in my chest till I choked.

Before she could let me disagree, Bonbon kicked her heels at her peacock's side. The beautiful bird let out a shrill from its beak before taking a run, its wings flapping while waiting to gain momentum. And then I watched her take flight, almost a shadow against the stars, with a thin silver topping from the moonlight. Reluctantly, I waited, watching Bonbon until I could no longer trace her in the sky. I hated leaving our disagreements up in the air. I knew she would not mention this conversation again at our next meeting, like the new day was a fresh start, a reset. That was a tradition in Slumberland. Uncomfortable discussions left to be unresolved, hope to be forgotten when a new day takes hold.

Again, I didn't wish to return to the palace, but as always, where else could I go? I was left sitting on my saddle, Fenella waiting patiently for me to decide when to fly away, but I just kept staring up at the sky, searching.

Searching for what?

My fingers curled my dress into my hands, tightening. Slowly, the sleepy moon was making its way towards the center of the night sky till its light was almost too bright for me to stare at it anymore. I dropped my gaze to the lake and watched silhouettes of mermaids in the dark, their heads clustered together above the surface, giggling like they were enjoying themselves. One of them leaped out of the water, her tail a sparkling black form across the stars, and then she dove back into her world.

Fireflies took to the breeze, letting it take them anywhere, like a stream of tiny lights crossing the lake.

Even the night of Slumberland seemed to be a symphony of beauty, a perfect score. Did I really want there to be chaos in all of this?

"Do I want chaos?" I questioned myself aloud, perhaps to let the wind carry my words and take them up to the heavens. I looked up again, awaiting an answer to be revealed, but there were no signs.

And then, I saw something spectacular. Traveling across the sky with immense speed, a streak of light. It faded as quickly as it appeared, a star has fallen from its home.

I kept looking up, though, pretending the shooting was still there and made my wish anyway.

Aloud, I whispered, "I wish I didn't feel so alone."

1