"What's going on out here?!'' Angus has Never seen Mrs Cosie look so cross. Or brandishing a wooden spoon with the weight like a medley weapon. "Angus McDonald what in the name of raspberry jam are you doing up there? Get off the counter-!"
she caught sight of the stricken customers. And Mrs Cosie suddenly shifted attitude: protective, ready to help, and get things ship shape. People always think of halflings as jolly and chatty. But though they be but little, they can be bluddy fierce.
"Dale, cast a heal word or something. now. Angus, run and get that young lady a healing potion or two from the first aid cabinet!" she commanded, and then added, "Ruby get the mop."
Taako grabs Angus' arm and tries to pull him down. "Hey Ango! maybe NOW is the time we blew this joint-?"
but Angus ignored him and shook him off. He uses mage hand to summon the requested first aid kits, frozen to the spot. Folk's scramble to their feet, bruised and grazed. Mrs Cosie joins in the gaggle of customers helping up the orc who is groggily apologising profusely. Ruby starts righting furniture and cleaning up the bigger spills. Mrs Cosie Taking the first aid kit from his mage hand and starts to treat the minor injuries; whilst Dale's hands are a-glowing over the halving knocked out by the table. Miss Ada seems to take a lot of healing but is Coming around.
Everyone's talking all at once, but all Angus feels is static.
"Angus? Angus can you hear me? Get down." Mrs Cosie has come back to the counter and is scooping ice from the box into a tea towel. She hands it to the train guy who puts it on his head. Then she turns back to her barista. "Oh Angus. Come on, dearie. You've had a nasty shock."
"Yeah, come on Magic boy. Feet on the table ain't very hygienic." Taako agrees.
"I didn't-" Angus starts clambering down to the shop side of the counter, with them both trying to help him. "Mrs Cosie, I swear- I'm sorry I'm so sorry."
"Sorry? For what?" She asks and then glares at Taako. "From what I hear you didn't cause this."
"I did. By being here." Angus interrupts. He really doesn't want to cry.
"What do you mean?" Mrs Cosie frowns.
"I shouted at a customer then he stepped into her? and that started the fight!"
"Pfft fight? I only hit her for fourteen damage." Taako dismissed.
"You hit her for fourteen damage?!" Mrs Cosie gasps.
"And tripped me." The Orc scowls.
"She pushed me first! for like seven!" Taako said. "That's a lot of hit points for a wizard!"
"What about Them?!" Angus says gesturing to the rest of the shop. Dale is holding two fingers up to the train conductor who is holding up four back: clearly seeing double.
"Not my damage." Taako argues.
"Ada's nursery schoolteacher! not an adventurer!" Said the Half elf Who'd been with her. She cradled Miss Ada in her lap. She also Had drawn her staff and readied an action.
"Miss Hecate, I'm so sorry about what's happened. I'm sure we can resolve this." Mrs Cosie tries. No wonder. Black Cat's Nursery and infants' school is another local institute in the halfling side of town. Most of the staff and parents come in here and Cosies even hold their Candle nights high teas.
"Oh, I really hope you do so!" Miss Hecate replies.
"Not everyone's a level four spell slinger, Arse hole!" Another customer agreed, cutting in over Mrs Cosie to scold Taako.
"Level four? Fuck off!" Taako snaps "do I look level four?"
"He had hold of Angus's arm." Ruby chimed in pointing at Taako. "This guy's a right creep, Mrs Cosie!"
"Oh, not another one!?" Mrs Cosie groaned.
"He repeated to you twice that he was working!" said one person.
"And you were rude to the lad." Added another customer.
"I heard him!" Piped up the orc. "Right before he stood on my foot. didn't even say sorry! And he shocked me."
"Wait. You called him dad. Didn't you? I didn't mishear that?" Dale accused. "Ang, is this a family drama?!"
"Oh no. Angus, is he?" Mrs Cosie asks.
"Yes, yes I am the magic lad's dad." Taako grins, in a flamboyant show off voice.
"Funny because I don't know THIS person." Angus says in the same tone.
Mrs Cosie shakes her head and turns to her second.
"Right. Dale, call the city guards. And fantasy social services!"
"Oi!" Taako squawked.
Angus scowls. "And even if you were related to me, you shouldn't just show up and throw spells around in here!"
Taako laughs. "Little man, when have you known me NOT to throw spells about?"
"Sir." Is all Angus said to that. Angus has never said that word with such disrespect. It feels like it did at least two hp damage. Taako flinches.
"'Sir?' Angus, love, I'm confused. Is this your father or not?" Mrs Cosie asks. "Do you actually know this man?"
"I've never seen his face before in all my life." Angus said truthfully.
Taako laughs nervously, his own joke used against him. "Very funny. Like I said I am one of his many many legal guardians. Well not legally-legally but you know."
"Riiiiight." Dale draws. There must have been a bit of vicious mockery there because Taako withers a little from it too. The crowd, already turned against him, are getting mad. Angus knows how awful for Taako that must be. You know, call back to the aftermath of Glamour Springs and all? But right now, at this moment Angus can't find a single care to lend him.
"Alright. Look, mister, I would like you to leave. This is not a tavern. we'll have no more adventuring going on in here." Mrs Cosie tells him. "Angus, help Dale clean this mess up."
"But Mrs Cosie-!"
Before he can protest, Taako pulls Angus behind him.
"Pfft He can do what he likes!" He says cockily. All weapons are suddenly raised at him.
"Woah woah! Woah! achie-matchie! I'm just saying, you, Cosy, can't tell Angus what to do? But you know, you heard the lady, lil bear? Let's leave? We'll go get ice cream-!"
Taako turns them both toward the door. Only for Angus to push him out the way and march back to Mrs Cosie's side.
"Of course, she can ask me to do work?! She's my boss sir, it's her café!" Angus says.
"Tea shop!" Mrs Cosie corrects.
"Sorry. Tea shop."
"Oh, come on?! Angus! It's me-!"
"Do I have to fetch the city watch?" Dale asked resigned.
"Oh, can I?" ruby asks. She giggles and points at Taako. "I always wanted to tell them 'Arrest that man.'!"
"ha-ha. All cops are pigs, honey. Er. Angus. Come on?" Taako tries. "My name is…Justin. Yeah Justin. Angus lives with me! He knows me, I swear, this is just a big, big mix up."
"Angus?" Mrs Cosie frowns.
Angus sighs and tells the world.
"He's right, he is one of my… Dads."
There's a mutter through the customers. Not all the weapons are put back. There are a lot of shitty parents in the world after all. the bell above the door tings. A dude walks in, sees everyone turn to look at him and the damage surrounding the shop. And walks back out.
Angus then adds, turning back to Taako (slash 'Justin',). "But that doesn't give him the right to be here and he's still being a complete and utter dick!"
"Hmm…" Mrs Cosie says. "Well, there's no need to cuss Angus. But you're right, that still doesn't mean he can come in here and start shocking random people and throwing spells around. especially not before two."
"I know! He's not even meant to be here." Angus says, feeling very frustrated.
"Eh I'm in here so often I could be floating this whole shop. and my husband! You should be thanking me for the extra business!" Taako said.
"I've never seen you before in my life." Mrs Cosie replied.
"I'm here every day!"
"I don't know any Justin's."
"You know this one! I'm like the most regular regular bar a regulator you've ever had?"
"You are most certainly not."
"He is." Angus interrupts, "he's been every day. Sometimes multiple times. Like this is the third time just today. And he's wearing a disguise-self or costume kit all visits, every one of them. He's wearing one now!"
"Whatever for?!"
"No no this is me! Angus is confused." Taako starts smiling sweetly. And an eighteen plus six persuasions. "Poor guy! Like you said he's in shock, right? Maybe his glasses are broke. But I'm no one. just his dad and mentor. this is how I always look-!"
"TAAKO STOP!"
Angus swung his wand with a whip lash. And Dispel Magic hit Taako, right in the fake smug face.