Chapter 42 – What's wrong?
GN
It's been almost two months since school started again, and George had given me my travel book back a few days after we arrived back at school. I totally forgot that I brought it over to Grimmauld that day over Christmas break. But ever since George gave me the book back, he's been withdrawn. He spends a lot of his time with Fred and Lee in their little hide-out or in their dormitory. We still hung out and I came over to the tower a couple of times a week, but he was always keeping busy with things for the shop. The twins had been happy about the shop, the fact that I had found it but now... they wouldn't tell me anything. They just told me they had been owling to the owner but nothing more. I knew I couldn't ask Fred; I didn't want to put him in between us, the chance that he would say anything was slim. So, I didn't push him, thinking he was just so focused on the shop and kept myself busy with my schoolwork, my Hufflepuff friends and my plans for after Hogwarts.
Cedric and I didn't talk about the kiss and fell into our old ways. Cedric even went on a few dates with a fifth year Hufflepuff girl, Hannah. She was sweet, maybe it could work between them, who knows.
Right now, I was walking around the dark corridor taking a moment to myself. Lyra and Odin had a date, Cedric and Hannah were playing wizard chess in the common room, so I decided to go on a walk. It was chilly in the corridors, and I pulled my scarf tighter around my neck. I stopped by an open window and looked at the large full moon that was shining over the dark forest. I leaned my head on my hands as my arms rested on the windowsill. I closed my eyes and took in a slow deep breath.
"Hey." A voice came from behind me, making me jump. I turned to see Hermione standing there in her neatly pressed school robes. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you."
"No, it's okay. Shouldn't be out here so late anyway."
"No, you shouldn't." Hermione said sternly but a smile appeared. She stepped up next to me and we both turned to look at the night sky. "It's beautiful, isn't it?"
"It is." I smiled, my eyes on the moon. "Until you think about what's hiding in the forbinnen forest." I chuckled as I saw some trees rustle.
"Got a point there." Hermione smiled. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, why do you ask?" I turned my head to look at her.
"Because you're wandering around the castle alone, at night."
"Hm." I pursed my lips. "I guess something is on my mind." I looked back at the clear sky ahead of me. "George has been distant since school started again. I know he's been busy with things for the shop but..." I sighed and rubbed my hands over my face. "Before he told me everything. I even helped making products and look for a shop."
"They both have been distant." Hermione answered. "I guess starting a shop does that to you. Especially now that they found out the owner accepted their offer."
I tried to keep my face straight and swallowed thickly. My heart hammered fast in my chest, and I had a hard time trying to keep my tears at bay. They found out they could start their shop, to realize their dream, but he chose not to tell me. Even after I helped them find the shop that suited them perfectly. I try to keep my voice steady as I spoke. "Yeah, it's probably just that." I straighten myself, and tried to control my metamorphmagus, to show no sign of hurt. "I better get back to the common room."
"Do you want me to walk with you in case another prefect or teacher finds you?" Hermione asked. If she had noticed my sudden change, she didn't comment on it, but I highly doubted she had.
"No, the twins showed me their shortcuts, I'll be down in my common room in a jiffy." I forced a smile. "Thanks for listening, Hermione."
"Anytime, Gwen. Good night."
"Goodnight." With a last smile, I walked past the fifth-year prefect and walked down the dark lit corridor.
GN
It was the middle of March, and I was sitting at the Gryffindor table next to George while Fred sat opposite of us. They were talking about the shop again, and I looked down at my plate as I pushed my eggs around. Their voices were just a light buzzing in my ear as I tried to tune everyone out. If I would have looked up, I would have seen Lee look at me with a worried look, but since my eyes were cast down, I didn't see it. It was getting harder to go on like this, the only person I truly spoken about everything was Lyra. I didn't want Cedric or Lee to know. Cedric would barge right up to George if I told him, and I didn't want to put Lee in the middle of it, just like I didn't want to do that to Fred.
I came out of my stare at my plate when George put an arm around me. I looked up to see that Fred and Lee were gone. I cocked my head to look at George.
"Ready to go?" He asked with a small smile. I nodded as I stood up. George's arm fell off me but grabbed my hand when we walked out of the great hall. When we reached an empty classroom, he pulled me in and kissed me. A kiss we haven't shared in a long time. My arms went around his neck and pulled him close. We have kissed of course over the last few months, even went on our weekly date nights but it wasn't so fill of lust like that in a while, it always felt like he held back.
"Where did that come from?" I asked with a smile when we pulled back.
"We got some good news. And I wanted to celebrate." He grinned, kissing the top of my nose. And I tried to calm my heartbeat as I was thrilled, he was finally going to tell me about the shop.
"Really? About the shop?"
"Sort of. We finally perfected our daydream charms, and I wanted you to try it first." He said pulling a little box out of his pocket.
"Oh." I said disheartened and lowered my hands from his neck.
"What's wrong?" He asked confused as he lifted my head when he cupped my cheek. I stepped away from him, placing the little box on one of the tables.
"What's wrong?" I huffed, trying to push back the tears, my back to George. "I can't believe you asked me that."
"Guinevere?" He placed his hand on my shoulder, but again I shrugged him off. I turned to him, and by the shocked look on his face, I knew my eyes were changing colours. But I wouldn't know which colour, as I felt angry, hurt, sad.
"Do you want to know what's wrong, George? Ever since we've been back you have been distant." I put my hand up when he wanted to counter it. "Don't tell me you aren't because you are. You've been distant and withdrawn. The only time we spend alone together is on a Thursday, all the other days we are always in company of either Fred, Lee or my friends. And I know that the owner accepted your offer for the shop! After everything I did, you didn't even tell me. So, that's what wrong George!" I was nearly shouting as the tears that formed in my eyes were clouding my sight.
"I- I -" George stumbled, never expecting me to tell all of this. I looked up to him, waiting for him to explain, but nothing more came out. I pushed past him to the door, but George stopped me as he took my hand in his. "I'm sorry." He whispered. I looked over my shoulder and saw him looking down at his feet. "I know I've been acting distant." He took in a deep breath. "When I found your book, just before we went back to school, I felt hurt that you wanted to leave us, leave me. That's why I pulled back; I know it wasn't fair."
"You could have talked to me. I wasn't planning on leaving the country the day after graduation!" I pulled my hand away. "It could have been a year or more. I wanted to make plans with you! But it seems that you don't want to make any plans with me." I walked to the door and my hand rested on the doorknob. "After everything I did for you, just even last break... I can't do this anymore, George."
"Guinevere, please wait." George pleaded but I didn't turn around. I knew if I would face him, I would fall right back into his arms. But he had hurt me, really hurt me. My heart broke a little more day by day with his actions, even though they were simple and small, it broke me. Two and a half months of his pulling away, his kisses or touches that didn't feel like he meant it. I couldn't do it anymore, how much I loved him, I couldn't.
"No." My voice trembled as the tears rolled down my cheeks. "It's over." Without waiting, I turned the doorknob and disappeared out of the classroom, leaving George standing there alone.
GN
Thank Merlin it was a Saturday, and I didn't have classes. The moment I left George behind, my knees started to shake violently, but I kept going. I needed to get away as fast and as far as possible. I found my way outside into the chill air and without looking where I was going, I went to the boat house. Just like I did a year and a half ago, I lied down into one of the little boats and let it float out on the water. At least now there wasn't a storm or any rain. I curled into myself as I let my tears that I had pushed back for months fall. Once my tears ceased falling, once my eyes had dried up, I let the boat float back to the boathouse as I didn't want Cedric and the others the worry about me again. To my surprise I saw Cedric waiting at the boathouse and he offered me a hand when I arrived at the dock.
"Cedric, what are you doing here?" I asked when I accepted his help.
"I-" He stopped when he saw my face and pulled me in a hug. "What's wrong?" I wrapped my arms around him and rested my head against his chest. "Is it Bash or Charlie?" I shook my head against him. "What then- Is it George?" His voice already a shade angrier. I didn't respond, but he knew. While we were wrapped in each other, he guided me to a bench and sat me down. "I'm here." He whispered as he stroked my hair.
I don't know how long we sat there, but when I started to shiver, I pulled back. "Can we go inside?"
"Yeah." He traced my cheek as he looked at me before taking my hand in his and pulling me up. He didn't ask me anything as we made our way down to the common room. Just before we entered the castle, I hid my hours of crying in a flash. Cedric had his arm protectively around me shoulder as he guided me through the corridors. I was relieved that we didn't spot any Gryffindors we knew on our way there. Just before we reached the common room, Cedric stopped me.
"Go to my room. I'll be there in a minute."
"I'm not hungry." I said already knowing what he was about to do.
"You need to eat, Winnie. Don't argue. Go in, I'll be there in a minute." He kissed the top of my head before walking over to the painting of the kitchen. I turned to tap the right sequence before walking in the common room. The common room was full of students, and I noticed Hannah sitting in a corner talking to her friends. I felt slightly guilty as I walked over to the boys' dormitory and hoped the girl didn't notice. His dormitory was empty, and I crawled into Cedric's bed and covered myself with his sheets. Before I knew it, I had fallen asleep in the familiar and safety of his bed. I didn't hear him come in with a tray of sandwiches. He had a sad smile on his face as he put the plate down on the nightstand next to his bed. He just crawled into bed with me, and I unwittingly rolled to him, my head on his chest. He wrapped his arms around me tightly and rested his head on mine, falling asleep soon after. We would talk later. We would talk well into the night about everything that had happened between me and George. And I had managed to convince Cedric not to go after George. The next day, I informed Lyra and Odin about everything and the four of us spend a nice and quiet Sunday in the boys' dormitory. The others pulled out old photos or games to distract me, and I smiled at my best friends as they succeeded in just that.