I'm not the one who acted like a hoe.

"A four out of five, eight out of ten, three and a half out of five, there are nothing but amazing reviews here Dean."

"Thank you so much sir."

"No no, I need to thank you. It goes without saying, you've brought this amazing spark here."

"Thank you sir."

"But hey, as much as I can sit here and talk all day about your ideas and directions, business is business after all."

"Absolutely sir."

"Siren's Call is done, we gotta get another comic going."

"Ofcourse."

"Now you tell me, what do you think our next direction is?"

"Well sir I actually have a handful of ideas I've been meaning to-"

"Oh geez, I'm sorry Dean. I don't mean to cut you off. Just remembered."

"Oh it's fine. What's up?"

"So, like I said. You've had nothing but good ideas. But there's been whispers all around we've been heading one singular direction."

"Direction?"

"Yeah, direction. In a sense, it seems we are limiting ourselves to certain genres."

"Certain genres? But sir we've-"

"I know I know, Dean, I know. To certain readers ofcourse, we've published something for everyone. But what certain people are seeing are just that. 'Certain' readers."

"Sir?"

"Alright, whatever. We gotta expand the demographic. Even more."

"Okay, I'm fine with that. I mean, I'll have to think outside the box but if you just tell me what you want I'll do what I can."

"Thatta boy. So let me double check the email here…uh…. Yeah so, we need something more adult themed."

"But isn't most of our work already adult themed? In Siren's Call alone, we received reviews about the gorey scenes and-"

"Not that kind of adult themed."

"Well what else?"

"Uh…god this email sucks. Look, they want something sexy. You know, like nails down the back kind of sexy."

"….Porn? They want us to develop a porn comic?"

"No ofcourse not. Not porn. Just sexy, like I said."

"But sir how can something be adult themed, sexy as you put it, but not porn?"

"That's what we have you for kiddo."

"Oh but sir I'm not-"

"Don't worry kid, you aren't alone on this. You do what you do best and let the team take care of the rest. See, that even rhymes."

"No, I mean, I know that sir. But I'm not sure about sexy stuff-"

"If it goes too far we can talk to the censor and publishers. It's amazing what people get away with these days."

"Yes I agree, but sir I'm trying to say I'm not qualif-"

"You need to stop bringing yourself down with that Dean. Everytime we get you a new project you are 'never' qualified. But then you write some new age exorcist shit, new age Indiana Jones, literally everything."

"But Sexy I can't do anyth-"

"Come on, I won't talk about nitty gritty with you. You can write emotions and sensations amazingly, just think about times with your old girlfriends."

"Sir I ne-"

"You're the best Dean. I mean tha- oh speak of the devil. I'm sorry man, this is the publishers now. Gotta take this one. Look, have a good weekend, I'll see you Monday."

"Y-you too sir."

"Brandon, you jerk, I was expecting your call earlier."

Reference for horror is just horror movies. They make you feel scared, so I can write what it's like to be scared.

Reference for action is watching Die Hard every Christmas and using the same imagination you use to win fights and arguments in the shower but on a grander scale.

Reference for gore is just emphasized childhood trauma.

I could reference all of that. Easily.

But what my boss wouldn't let me tell him is that I'm a virgin.

I can't reference sex at all.

So looks like I'm fucked.

Metaphorically that is.

It always is.