Chapter 67 – Farewell

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I heard someone speak to me, and after a few seconds I figured out it was George. But I couldn't open my eyes, I felt like I was stuck between a coma and a being conscious. When I heard Cedric's name fall from his lips, I remembered. I remembered everything. The battle, Tonks, the explosion, the giant, ... Cedric. I tried to open my eyes but still nothing. I heard him say how afraid he was of losing me. And then the soft touch of his lips on my forehead.

"You have a whole family that loves you, -" I heard him say. "- that wants to help you get through this. I'll try and help you through this." He was silent for a second, and I thought he had left. "I love you." I felt him squeeze my hand and felt him slip away. Panic soared through me, and I tightened my grip on his hand and my eyes flew open. George was looking at my hand with a little frown, I saw that his eyes were red from tears. He turned to look at me, his eyes wide, his mouth slightly open in shock.

"Don't go. Can you stay, please?" I've never felt so alone in my life, so relieve coursed through me when he nodded and climbed into bed. Once George was tucked next to me, I broke down. I don't know how long I cried into his shirt, but he never complained, or tried to talk to me. He just traced circled on my back as he held me. When I finally stopped crying, I pulled away. "I'm sorry."

"You never need to apologise, Guinevere. Certainly not about this." He still held on to me.

"What happened after..." I couldn't finish the sentence, it literally got stuck in my throat. So, George told me about the barrier, which I have no recollection of whatsoever. About the seizures, how the others had to hold me down. How we won the war and Voldemort was dead, who we lost, who was still in the castle, how long I was out.

"Two weeks?" I breathed out.

"Almost, yeah. Pomfrey said your magic was almost completely drained; you're not supposed to use magic for at least another month. And -" He took in a deep breath, and my stomach plummeted. "The baby is fine."

"You know?" I looked at the blank wall across from us, feeling sick. I wanted to ask that question from the moment I woke up, but something inside felt him there.

"I think everyone knows by now." He said scratching the blanket with his fingernail. "When you put up the barrier, we saw how it was draining you. Charlie shouted we needed to get to you, before we would lose you and the baby. Only me, Fred, Bash and Percy were there. But when Poppy wanted to see the baby was fine, and a heartbeat was heard across the great hall... well, yeah, they all figured it out. Odin and Lyra were there too. They are both fine." He added quickly when my head snapped towards him. I started rubbing my stomach softly. "You're not alone, Guinevere.

"I know, I heard you."

"You did?" He squeaked a little, but that's when the large doors opened. Bash and Charlie walked in, they both looked tired, and Bash's eyes were bloodshot. When Charlie saw me awake, he stopped in his tracks. Bash looked at him with a frown before his gaze turned to me. They both stood there for a long moment, then they leaped forward. When they reached my bed, they hugged me as closely and carefully as possible. George had moved from the bed, standing at the foot end. It was all tears again. And so it would be with everyone that followed that day. With Odin and Lyra, with Hermione and Fred, with Molly. And while Fleur cried uncontrollably, Bill tried to be the strong one, but he couldn't help but let a few tears fall. Then it was Olive and Amos, they looked as grey and pale as I did, the sorrow and pain edged on their faces. Olive and I wrapped around each other as we cried, while Amos sat at the end of my bed, holding our legs as he silently cried.

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It was the night before the funerals, and I was wide awake in my bed in the hospital wing. Charlie and Bash were sleeping on either side of me. Molly had finally convinced the twins to sleep at the burrow. Amos and Olive had been giving private quarters a level above them. I stepped out of bed, and once I found my footing, I slipped out of the hospital wing. Even though it was May, it was still cold in the castle corridors. I wrapped my bathrobe closer together as I walked the corridors on bare feet. The castle was still in pieces. Broken walls, windows, ceilings. Blood spatters, that looked like they tried to remove it, but weren't as successful. My feet carried me all the way up an abandoned classroom on the first floor. I took in a deep trembling breath as I stood before the room, I heard Bash and Charlie whisper about. I pushed it open, a cooling charm nearly knocked me off my feet. There were three tables with white covers over them. I walked over to the two closest first. And with hesitant and trembling hands, I pulled the cover back.

Tonks and Remus. It looked like they were just asleep, but I knew they weren't. I remembered Tonks' distance gaze at the open ceiling. My heart broke for my two friends, for the parents of my godchild, who was to grow up without his amazing, wonderful parents. For Andy, who's left all alone, no husband, no daughter. Only baby Teddy.

"I'll be there for him." I said looking at their peaceful faces. "Once I'm ready, I'll be there for him, and I'll tell him about all his wonderful parents. I wish we had more time to get to know each other even better, or for you to know your talented son. I'm sorry I couldn't stop whoever did this to you. I'm sorry I didn't force you to go home." I said the last thing to Tonks. "I hope we meet again." I said before draping the covers back over them.

Then the third cover, my hand was visibly shaking as I reached over. I stopped as I held the rim of the covers in my hand. It felt like I heard a clock ticking as I stood there. I closed my eyes, took in a deep breath and pulled back. Cedric's hair that was covered in dust was now clean, looking like he just run his hand through. His strong jaw, and the light stumble was visible in the moonlight. He too, looked like he was sleeping soundly. But my heart fell into a million pieces, my insides clenched together as I thought that he would never hold me when we slept, his hands will never caress my stomach again. He would never see my belly turn into a balloon, or watch his son grow up. He would never look at me again with his lopsided smile and his kind, brown eyes that were always filled with love. I would never feel the soft touch of his lips against mine or see the way he lit up when he flew a broom. I would never see him sitting underneath a palm tree again as he wrote his next article. I would never...

"I can't do this without you, Ced." I trembled all over. "I need you in my life, I need my husband. I need the boy who I met when I was eleven. I need the love of my life with me. You promised me." I whispered the last part barely audible, but the dead couldn't hear me anyway. "I - I-" My breathing became erratic as a panic attack flared up. I stumbled to the ground, pulled my knees to my chest and rocked back and forwards. "I can't do this. I can't do this." I muttered to myself repeatedly.

Once my breathing slowed, I stood back up. "I love you." I placed a kiss on Cedric's preserved body, his lips still soft like I remembered. "I can't do this."

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I tiptoed in the hospital wing, but Madam Pomfrey was nowhere to be seen and Bash and Charlie were still sleeping soundly. I tucked my wand in my pocket and grabbed a quill and parchment from the nightstand.

I'm sorry, I can't do this.

I already said my goodbyes to Cedric, Tonks and Remus.

I love you all, don't come searching for me. I just can't -

Bye

I didn't write anything more; I didn't know what to say after all. One day I would find out how the note made everyone feel, what they all thought I was going to do or where I was going to go. But in that moment, I didn't care about what the others might think. I was truly lost and broken, and I needed to get out of there. I placed the note on Bash's nightstand, kissed the two men farewell and disappeared into the night.

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The next chapter is part four, and also the last part of this story. It will have a little time jump from where we we left off.