Whenever Rei had no other obligations, she was in her apartment and waited.

Doing nothing had always come natural to her, ever since her creation. For years, her entire universe had been a single room beneath the Geofront, surrounded by machines constantly monitoring her physical state, and only the Commander's visits had broken up the monotony of her life – bright points of light in a grey mist. His Scenario was the only thing that had ever given her life any meaning at all. Only piloting EVA was giving her a tenuous bond to the world at all. Without it, she would have nothing, be nothing.

So anything outside the Scenario and the Commander's orders didn't matter. Anything beyond that had just never been part of her life. There was nothing for her to do during times not spent on NERV or school. Those times were irrelevant. She only existed for the sake of the Scenario, and hence would do nothing else.

It had become easy to accept that these past years. Ritsuko's medication had become stable, with no more side effects, and it had made it easy to not care about anything happening at all. She had requested those meds to reach that state.

...and now, it was over.

As she was no longer taking the meds, restlessness began to take up ever greater parts of Rei's day. Unfortunately, she didn't know how to deal with it. She couldn't just sit on the sole chair in her apartment anymore, surrounded by dust and heaps and stuff, and watch the hours pass by. What was more, the Commander's Scenario was no longer having that singular hold on Rei's mind. There was also the Commander's son. That strange fluttery feeling she had inside whenever the two were speaking with each other or just standing close together – it fully justified not taking the meds anymore, and made the torturous boredom that began to fill her days worth it.

She just wished she knew what to do with that feeling. It was like an aching for more, but Rei did't know more of what. It was like a desire to be near Shinji constantly, but that would of course have been unreasonable.

Rei turned her head towards the long corridor towards her door after there had been a sudden knocking on it. She didn't pay it much more heed than that; if it was something important whoever it was outside could just come in after all.

"Ah… Ayanami? Are you home? Sorry to bother you, but I got something for you."

Red eyes widened slightly. There it was again, that fluttery feeling in her stomach. It was Shinji. Before she had even realized it, Rei was up from the chair, and in small, fast steps had come over to the door. She opened it.

Shinji stood outside in his usual school uniform, with his usual far too large belt, and with both hands behind his back.. Rei had long since tuned out the clutter and garbage on the ground outside, or the overflowing of the mailbox in her door, but Shinji stood out, like something that shouldn't be here. But she was glad he was.

He seemed somewhat surprised at the quick reaction; then he smiled awkwardly. "Ah, hello, Ayanami. I… I really hope I didn't disturb you or anything." Rei vigorously shook her head. "I… well, you really helped me at the aquarium, and… uh, with everything else." There was a blush on his face. "So, I thought, I… I should thank you."

"Oh," Rei merely said. She didn't think anybody had truly thanked her before. The Commander had always just expected her to do her duty, which made sense – it was her duty after all. She would do whatever necessary to see the Scenario fulfilled. Appreciation didn't enter into that.

So why was it so strangely satisfying to be appreciated? Because it was Shinji? But there was more to it. It just felt… good. Most of all, it felt like something, and that itself was new and good.

It was now that he brought his two hands from his back to the front – and they were holding a small bouquet of flowers. "Ah… just to show my gratitude. I'm really grateful to you." That blush on his face was still there. Somehow this made the fluttery feeling inside Rei all the stronger.

However, the meaning of his action was still a mystery to her. She looked at his face, her heart pounding in her chest and then, hesitantly, at the flowers. "I do not understand. Why are you giving me flowers?"

And Shinji just smiled softly at her. Rei had gotten used to people scoffing at her questions, or just ignoring her, or talking down to her. None of this mattered as long as she would get an answer, or even if not that was irrelevant if the question didn't actually matter for the Scenario. How people treated her in all of this had never been a concern.

Yet Shinji never scoffed or talked down at her or ignored her. He always did take the time to explain. And while this shouldn't have mattered… it did to Rei. She was surprised by that herself.

"It's a common present to show appreciation," he explained in this friendly, soft tone of his. "Not very utilitarian, I guess, but, uh… they say that isn't the point."

Rei slightly furrowed her brows. "I don't like flowers. They are all the same, and yet without use."

And just like that, the smile on Shinji's vanished. "Oh." It sounded so depressed. Rei felt like she had done something wrong. She desperately wanted to have that smile back. She got so little… so little Shinji during the day that she didn't want to waste this moment. But she didn't know what she had done wrong. Shinji began to turn around. "I suppose… you can just… throw them in the trash or whatever."

"Ikari!" Rei called out. The boy stopped. "Show me what to do with flowers. I want to use them."

The smile returned. Rei was relieved. "Ah… may I come in then?"

Rei just nodded and stepped aside to let Shinji enter. After some searching, he found an old glass bottle that had stood in a corner of Rei's sleeping room, filled it with water, and then put the flowers into there. Then he put the bottle with the flowers on Rei's small desk. He smiled when he was finished, but then looked around in the room and sighed.

When Rei didn't comment on that, he finally said, "Well, I suppose it's a small improvement." Rei just looked at him. "I – I mean it's your apartment, Ayanami, but I think it would be nicer for you if it were more… decorated." He began to mumble. "And with less trash around. And some light in it." He sighed. "But I shouldn't impose mysel…"

"What do you mean?" Rei asked.

Now it was Shinji who furrowed his brows. "Do you really like living like this?"

"Like?" Rei echoed in a small voice. That was a thought that had literally never come to her. She lived here, and the apartment was functional. That was all that had ever mattered to her.

An awkwardly long silence ensued. Finally, Shiji smiled again. "Would you mind if I helped you a bit with your apartment?"

Rei blinked when bright light was suddenly falling on her face. She raised her hand over her eyes, and even took a step back from the window.

Shinji smiled at her over his shoulder, still holding the dusty curtains he had just opened in his hands. Truth be told, they smelled a bit, a slightly sour odour, but Shinji was ignoring that. He was after all just a guest in this house. Light was now flooding the room, sweeping away its former gloominess. The first step had been taken.

It turned out that it wasn't like Rei had no idea how to keep her apartment clean. It was a combination of a total indifference about the environment in which she lived, and very strange habits that seemed to have formed over the years. For example, she was actually orderly: All her dirty bedsheets were gathered in one heap, all her used bandages in a small cardboard box, all her medicines on the small desk she had. There was a sense of order, but she seemed to have absolutely no conceptions on how to go about such things.

In keeping with this theme, Rei actually had a roll of trashbags around. It was in yet another small cardboard box, together with scissors, cutlery and some old newspapers, all of it covered in dust, but it was there, and so far completely unused. There was a pattern to this behaviour, Shinji felt, but he couldn't quite grasp it. For now, he was simply happy he did have trashbags to work with.

It was quite the labour to be done, but Shinji didn't mind. He had always been a tidy person. Cleaning up was better than… than what Rei was doing for his sake now. As he picked up things from the floor or swept away dust from the drawer, he got into a real flow of things. It was a bit embarrassing for a boy, but it seemed he always had had more a knack for this than fighting. However, even that wasn't so bad. Fighting was something Rei could do by herself. This here gave him an outlet to show his gratitude towards the bluehaired girl.

At first, he had been glad that Mari's offer of service had given him a girl to call upon in such questions, and also somebody who would keep close-mouthed about it. However, Mari's advise had turned out to be rather… unhelpful. Her first suggestion about how Shinji could thank Rei was to remind him of all the hour hotels in the city. Her second suggestion had been to grab and kiss Rei. And as third suggestion she had pleaded that he could at least give Rei a small peck. By that time, Shinji had been reduced to a redheaded stuttering mess who could only wave his hands to signal Mari that no, he certainly wouldn't do that.

Only then had she suggested flowers, even though she had called that idea 'boring'. To Shinji, it had seemed a very good idea at the time.

Rei watched intensely as he worked his way through her apartment. Normally, he would have found that a bit annoying, him doing all the work and she just watching. However, it seemed the bluehaired girl truly didn't know what to do. Watching and learning as he cleaned up her apartment was hence maybe really the best she could do.

A small bit of red coloured his cheeks when he mentally admitted to himself that, besides, there were worse things than Rei standing nearby and watching him. He still didn't want to burden her with all those strange impulses and desires that she seemed to increasingly awaken in him, but even so having her around simply felt good. The world felt stable when she was around, like nothing could happen. Even if the greatest catastrophe were to break out now, she would protect him. She always was taking care of him.

And so he would take care of her.

"Say, Ayanami..." he said, looking up from the trashbag. "You don't have much in the way of furniture do you?" And in a mutter, "Or in the way of anything else."

"It is sufficient," she merely replied.

"Well, there isn't much I can do about furniture, but… the walls could be painted, you could have something like pictures or posters on them… maybe some more pillows… just to make it look nicer here, you know?" Shinji suggested. "Ah… of course, only if you like."

"Nicer," Rei echoed softly and looked around in the room. Finally, she said, "I don't know much about what is nice."

"Ah well… hrm…." Shinji didn't quite know what to say about that. It sounded sad, but he didn't know what he could do about it.

"How do you know what is nice?" Rei asked.

"Ah… well, uh… everyone has their own… I mean, normally you just look at… and…" Shinji really didn't know what to say to that. It was just so strange!

"Could you show me?" Rei inquired.

"I mean, we could go to the stores together..." Shinji began to suggest awkwardly. But you are supposed to like it, not me…

Rei immediately interrupted him. "Yes."

"Yes?" Shinji inquired.

"We will go to the stores together," Rei confirmed.

Shinji smiled awkwardly. Well, that was blatant. He felt hot, and did his best to not think about what this could mean. So he just returned to work.

There wasn't much left to be done, though. The apartment also had an old broom which looked like it hadn't been moved out of the corner against which it was leaned for months or years, so Shinji began sweeping the ground. He actually had to cough once or twice, as so much dust had gathered there. And Rei not only sleeps here but also walks on this barefoot, changes in here and err… Unbidden, certain memories rose in him. Yes. She definitely changes in here.

Since sweeping was so monotone, his thoughts began to wander without conscious control over them. A certain part of him wondered how it would be if Rei were in the same state as he had found her last time he had been here. It did make for some very pleasant images and thoughts in his absent minded daydream. But when he caught himself and also noticed that Rei, of course, was still there, right next to him in fact, his face was turning a dark red. It wasn't just that he had thought of her that way, but it also embarrassed him how good those thoughts had felt.

"I… ah, I think that's as much as I can do for now," he told Rei, quickly trying to change his thoughts back to the task at hand. "Anything more will require more material and preparation."

He noticed Rei wasn't looking at him. Instead, she was looking at the floor in front of her. Even that could not hide her red cheeks, though. "Thank you."

Shinji still felt the heat on his own cheeks. "It was no problem. Don't you think your room looks nicer now?"

Rei looked up again, and then around. "...yes."

Shinji looked at the flowers in their bottle on the small desk, and then back at Rei with a soft smile. "So tell me… do you want the flowers here? As decoration? Or…"

Rei looked at the flowers, at Shinji, back at the flowers. Then she shook her head. "I still don't like flowers."

"That's okay," Shinji told her, the smile still on his face. "You need to like it here. You can… I suppose you can just throw them away."

Rei's face got a puzzled look. "You aren't disappointed?"

"I'm glad I could help you here," Shinji explained. "That's better than giving you flowers."

Rei didn't react to that. She just kept on looking at him. Strangely, this didn't make Shinji nervous. He was often so anxious about having said or done something wrong when people didn't react to him, and felt judged under their stares, but here… there were just Rei's red eyes, and those had always promised safety to Shinji. Fascinating, amazing red eyes in a face of alabaster, surrounded by hair of the colour the ocean once was.

A captivating image.

Shinji's reverie was disturbed by loud, blarring noises. Outside there suddenly was a high-pitched wailing sounding throughout the entire city, while at the same time the mobile phones of both Rei and Shinji went off at their highest volumes.

"The angel alarm..." Shinji stated the obvious. There was fear in his voice. "We should… we need…"

He was about to run outside, but Rei merely lightly grabbed his upper arm. "Section 2 will soon come. They will take us to the Geofront"

Oh, of course. That did make the most sense. The pilots of course would not take the train to an emergency. Shinji was unsure what to do now. Wait here? Just stand around? Rei, meanwhile, simply sat down on her bed.

"You should sit as well," she simply told him. "You have just worked a lot."

It didn't really sound like an invitation, more a statement of fact or a medical advice, but eventually, Shinji did hesitantly sit down next to her. Section 2… Officially, NERV's security and intelligence branch, but Shinji thought of them more as NERV's henchmen. The guys who always had him in their eyes, the guys who had brought him back to Misato when he had ran away. They would ensure that the pilots would all be there, that they would go into their Evangelions, enter those LCL-filled entry plugs, smell its blood-like odour, wait terrible seconds until the launchpad would start, get out into the open to see what horror they would face now, and then and then and then….

"You won't pilot. I will. I will protect you."

Shinji turned his head around to find Rei looking straight at him. As nearly always, there was no facial expression on her, just that intense look. Shinji smiled back weakly.

I'm so pathetic that I need her protection… and her reassurances.

He hadn't lied to Kaji. He trusted Rei, and hence would let her pilot if she said she was ready and willing to do that job. But he still felt so small whenever it became apparent how much he needed her – not only physically, not only as the one who took over the job, but apparently also mentally. Weak, weak, weak…

And he just couldn't shake off this fear that had suddenly befallen him as soon as he had heard the angel alert, which was still wailing outside. It made it hard to focus. Shinji felt his nerves fraying. He knew he wouldn't have to pilot, but he would go to NERV, would put on that plugsuit, just in case, just like he always had and then…

Something brushed against his hand. Another hand, soft, small, gracile and somewhat cold, had taken it. Rei's hand. He didn't look around to see her. He only looked down, blushed…

...and smiled a little.

He didn't know how to react to that. A girl… no, Rei, was holding his hand. And yet that was exactly what he had needed. This was far from the relationship gossip that seemed to dominate the talks of their classmates at times. This was something that seemed to go deeper.

Even so, he still had no idea how to react. He felt a little nervous about that now, and also felt a bit hot and awkward, but that was okay. He just didn't move, except for the hand Rei had taken now also taking hers, their fingers intertwining. He didn't think about what that could mean. The only thing mattered was her comforting presence.

He didn't react at all. The two just sat there, hand in hand, until the Section 2 agents were opening Rei's door.

Kensuke cursed under his breath. He had come so close to beating his old high score!

Oh well…

One couldn't become a regular arcade visitor without being a good loser. Kensuke in general felt little frustration at setbacks and losses. Life always went on. His only frustration was how empty and unfulfilling that life was sometimes. Nothing he did mattered in the grand scheme of things. Nations fought wars, angels attacked, and he was just a random middle schooler somewhere in Japan.

Playing games let him forget that for a time. And watching mecha anime, gathering every obscure tidbit of military news or rumours, or painting mecha or jetfighter models… that let him imagine for some moments that he could maybe matter. That an actual mecha organization was in town, actual mecha pilots in his class, and actual mecha fights happening now and then, that was exciting for him, but it also added to the frustration: It was so close, but he had no part in it.

He had in fact had one association with it all, but he had fucked that up. Yes, Shinji quitting in the face of all the pain and hurt, that was not how it was supposed to be – it just felt wrong to Kensuke on a primal level. But the hero getting shouted at, that was just not right, either. That happened, but usually marked the people doing so as assholes, at least in that moment.

Godsdamnit. I was such an idiot. I lost the connection to mecha piloting I had, and worse, I probably made things even more miserable for Shinji.

The ex-pilot's freakout in the aquarium had made it obvious how hard everything had been for him – and how cold-hearted Kensuke had been. Ever since, Kensuke had been unable to really talk with Shinji, feeling too embarrassed. And as for the other pilots…

He looked around in the arcade hall. He saw arcade cabinets, some of them just simple boxes and some really sophisticated machines with special seats and special controls. He saw retro neon lights, a dirty and used carpet and only some few visitors, mostly boys somewhat older than him… but no Asuka.

He sighed. The girl hadn't come the previous two days, either. Desperately looking for a way to undo his mistakes, but believing he had fucked up for good with Shinji, he had reached out to another pilot. Granted, it didn't hut how easy on the eye Asuka was, but that was also true for a couple of other girls in the class who were considerably less dangerous to approach.

...yeah okay, she was in fact smoking hot. Ever since she had first presented herself to the class, Kensuke's eyes had always been drawn to her. As a foreigner with just a small amount of Japanese heritage, and a redhead besides, she was obviously exotic. An exotic, hot female mecha pilot! And her standoffish nature only added her to her aura. It was like she knew what she was worth, and Kensuke could appreciate that.

But of course such a girl, attractive, intelligent and a mecha ace pilot besides, would never want to have anything to do with him. He should have seen that coming. He truly hadn't intended to ask her out for a date. He truly was looking for someone, anyone, who could share his enthusiasm for gaming, and he had wanted to undo his fuckup with Shinji. But that had probably been presumptuous of h…

Oh gods. There she is!

Kensuke saw the distinctive fluff of red hair entering the arcade hall. Asuka was wearing short jeans and a simple pale red shirt. Come to think of it, he had never seen her in her school uniform outside of school or her way to and from there. She had her typical facial expression of dismay and standoffishness, looking around as if the whole building really was beneath her level… but she did in fact show some interest in the various machines and games.

I… I should go to her…

But suddenly, Kensuke was nervous. Asuka kept looking around, eventually just standing in the middle of the hall at an intersection of arcade cabinets marked on the stained carpet by a circle of nearly washed out yellow, with her arms crossed. People seemed to automatically stay a good distance away from her. She looked very good in those short jeans, but her entire posture was signalling 'aloof' and 'unapproachable'. But it was also clear she didn't quite know what to do here.

So Kensuke gulped, and then waved over to her. "Hey, Shikinami! Want to check out this game?"

Asuka jerked her head around immediately stared daggers at him. Oh gods. That was too artificially cheerful, wasn't it? I should have gone over to her and said hello first… but that would have been way too formal; this isn't a date after all…

However, Asuka then did walk over to him, in large, aggressive strides. Kensuke didn't know whether to be relieved or to be even more afraid. And he tried his best to not keep staring at her legs.

"So, this is the arcade hall you meant," she said.

"Ah… yes," Kensuke simply answered.

She flipped her hair. "Hm, doesn't look like much. If there hadn't been so much shouting in the apartment…"

"Ah… shouting?" Kensuke asked, only to realize belatedly that this was probably none of his business.

However, Asuka merely shrugged. "My former guardian, the one I had in Germany, came over to visit Misato. The two argued. I don't know about what; I left as soon as the shouting started for real."

"Oh," Kensuke merely replied.

An awkward pause ensued. Finally, Asuka asked, "So, what are you doing here apparently every day?"

Kensuke managed a grin. "Wanna give it a try?"

It turned out that Asuka really had a natural knack for video games. Even though she hadn't played a single one of the games in the arcade before, she was pretty good at holding her own against Kensuke. Or maybe Kensuke just was a bit distracted. Asuka was quite lively at the arcade machine or the controller, twisting and bending even when there was no need to. And that was goddamn hot – almost as much entertainment as the games themselves.

But she also was an incredible risk-taker. Sometimes that worked, and Kensuke was just overwhelmed by Asuka suddenly charging ahead blindly. But most of the time it didn't. And that behaviour only increased when they were playing an Augmented Reality game in one corner of the hall.

"You should be a bit more careful, maybe," Kensuke advised after he had won another match. "I mean, you're really good at that. So don't throw games like that!"

Asuka just scoffed. "It isn't like losing means much. Might as well go for the jugular then."

"Yeah, I suppose that's true," Kensuke agreed. It was a good attitude to have. "But…"

"I don't even feel it when I lose," Asuka continued.

Now Kensuke stopped paying attention to the electronic game pistol in his hand, and turned around to her. "What do you mean?"

Asuka shrugged. "It's kinda like the simulators in my training. Just without feedback."

"Feedback?" Kensuke asked.

"Light electric shocks," Asuka answered, in her usual disinterested, dry voice. "Just enough for pins and needles. At least at first."

"Ahhh..." Kensuke answered. That seemed… off. Truth be told, Kensuke had never greatly considered what mecha pilot training could be like. But it didn't quite fit in with the vague expectations he had.

"Another round?" Asuka asked, still sounding the same.

"Ah… alright, yeah," Kensuke confirmed.

For a newbie, Asuka was very good. Normally somebody who had never played that game before shouldn't give so much trouble to Kensuke, who had played it dozens if not hundreds of times. He really respected her skill. It sure seemed that finally he had found an equal sparring partner. Nonetheless, she was in fact new to the game, and that meant she lost most of the time.

And that seemed to increasingly agitate her.

"Ah damn, I'm getting exhausted, Shikinami," Kensuke finally said, suddenly very aware of his scrawny and untrained body. "Let's call it a day?"

"Already?" Asuka scoffed. "I've only just warmed up. I'll begin defeating you from now on."

Kensuke grinned lopsidedly. "If you say so."

"We'll do some more rounds," Asuka stated as if she had authority here. "I'm capable of outplaying you."

This dodged insistence confused Kensuke. "Uh… well…"

"You'll just leave me at having lost most times?" Asuka, well… accused him.

"It's just a game," Kensuke mumbled, unsure what was happening.

Again, Asuka scoffed. "But one I could certainly win! I'm good enough!" She seemed almost… fearful. "I really am."

"I… I believe you," Kensuke said. "You did really good for a newbie."

Asuka suddenly… stopped. She just stopped all movement and remained silent. Then finally she spoke up again in a dark voice. "Yeah, okay."

Now Kensuke was worried. What was that all about? That was no normal reaction to some lost games. Kensuke had seen sore losers before, but that wasn't it. That had been outright despair. But why…? What did she fear?

Asuka was whispering something to herself. Kensuke could only hear part of it, but that made him even more concerned. "…nothing will happen…".

"Well, we… we can resume this tomorrow," Kensuke suggested. "I don't think something will happen today, right?" He tried a reassuring smile.

"I suppose," Asuka muttered.

It was just then that the angel alert began wailing outside the arcade hall.