Chapter 71 - Panic

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Harry had taken CJ and Teddy to an indoor muggle playground, giving me and Andy some free time. While Andy went to visit Tonks' grave, I made my way to Diagon Alley. My stomach was twisting and turning inside itself as I walked past the shops. I had changed my appearance, so nobody would recognise me. I had long brown hair, dark brown eyes and had changed my nose and lips slightly. A smile decorated my face when I saw the bright and colourful shop of the twins in front of me. The last time, the only one time, I visited the shop, it was empty. Now, as I was coming closer, you could hear the people talking and shouting inside the shop. People going in and out there like a rotating door. It was an amazing view. I stopped in front of the shop's window and looked to the display, mustering up the courage to go inside.

"You know -" A voice came from the door. I turned to see Lee standing there smiling, his hair now all over the place as he had ditched his dreadlocks. For a moment, I thought he recognised me, and I almost leaped towards him. "- you can see it better from the inside." He chuckled pointing his thumb behind him. "First time costumers get a free sweet sample."

"How do you know I'm a first-time costumer?" I asked with a slightly altered voice as I walked closer.

"I think I'd remember you." He winked and I chuckled. I've never been on the receiving end of his flirtation ways, but it was funny to see it. He's going to be so embarrassed when he finds out.

"Hm." I hummed as I stopped in front of him. I peered over his shoulder. "So, are you going to give me a tour then?"

"Certainly, milady." He offered his arm, and I took it. We walked in the crowded shop. Besides all of the customers going around like headless chickens, there was a young woman with blonde hair manning the till. Was that Verity, the twins talked about years ago? Somewhere near the fireworks was an older man, around his seventies showing the kids how to use the fireworks. "Oh, that's Earl. He was bored after he retired a few years ago. So, the owners let him help at the shop."

"That's sweet."

"Earl is nearly as popular as the owners." Lee chuckled. "At the till is Verity, she's been working here since the shop opened the first time."

"And the owners?" I asked, as my stomach recoiled.

"Uhm." Lee said as he glanced around the shop. He was standing on his toes, peering over the kids. "I think they're in the back, making more of our amazing and unique products." He said in a real salesman voice.

"Wow, you really want me to buy something do you?" I laughed. Lee grinned, but his eyes were searching me. She cleared her throat and looked away. "What about the tour?"

"I think I can handle it from here." An all too familiar voice came from behind me, and I froze. My eyes were wide as I recognised George's voice in an instant, through all the noise, even after all those years. I tried to reign back my shock before I turned to George. Lee was still looking at me with a questioning look. "I'm George Weasley. One of the proud owners of this fine establishment." He bowed deep.

I took in a deep breath before I answered. "Nice to meet you." George had let his hair grown out, he had it partially tight up in a bun while the rest rested over his shoulders. I could see the part were his ear used to be and I subconsciously touched the scar on my stomach. Curse buddies. I could hear Fred shouting in the back, George looked over my head to presumably his twin.

"I'm sorry, I have to go. I think I left my iron on." I walked past George and Lee, and nearly ran out of the crowded shop. I fled into an alley as I tried to breathe slowly, as I tried to stop the panic attack. Once I calmed down a bit, I apparated to Andy's home. Harry wasn't back with the kids yet, so I climbed the stairs and curled up in a ball on the bed.

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"Gwen?" A gentle hand stroked my shoulder. I opened my eyes slowly and looked up to a worried Harry. I was still curled up in a ball but had apparently fallen asleep. "Are you okay?"

"Yes. No." I pushed myself up and Harry came to sit next to me. "I went to the shop today." Harry waited patiently for me to continue. "I went in disguise so that they didn't recognise me. I saw Lee first. He hasn't changed much since-" I let the sentence hang there. "He even flirted with me; he has never done that." I chuckled. "I don't know – but it looked like he recognised me, or my laugh at least. I don't think he knows it was me, but it made him think. Then George came over." I sighed. "It was all too much."

"I'm sorry." He wrapped his arm around me and rubbed my upper arm.

"I've been good, you know. But seeing people from my past, from my time at Hogwarts, the battle..." I tear rolled down my cheek, I quickly wiped it away. "It can send me in a downwards spiral, I started to have a panic attack." I glanced to Harry. "That's why I can't face the Weasleys all at once, I need to do it, step by step. One by one."

"I understand." He gave me a side hug. "You're meeting Odin and Lyra next week, yes?"

"Yeah." I nodded. "They are coming with CJ and me to the Zoo."

"I can come if you want. Be your back-up, just in case. I can bring Teddy; he loves the zoo."

"Don't you have to work?"

"I don't. I'm completely free." He smiled.

"Then I would love your company." I nudged him with my own smile, before I leaned in to rest against him.

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Seeing Odin and Lyra again, it felt liberating, like a weight lifted from my shoulders. At first, the panic I had when I saw them waiting for us was becoming too much, but then CJ squeezed my hand, and Harry gave me an encouraging smile as he guided Teddy forward. I took in a deep breath before I fell into Lyra's arms. We hugged and cried for a few minutes. Then I moved on to Odin. We were never the hugging type of friends, but then we were. CJ and Teddy looked confused from us to Harry.

When I pulled back, I wiped the tears away before I turned to my son and kneeled. "CJ, this is Lyra and Odin. It's been a while, but they are mummy and daddy's best friends."

CJ glanced over my shoulder, and I looked back too. Lyra and Odin were looking at us with tears in their eyes.

"Guys, this CJ."

Lyra bent down until she was face to face with CJ. "It's so good to meet you, CJ. You look so much like your daddy."

"Mummy said I was born with a long brown hair like daddy." He beamed. "I like his hair."

"It's perfect for you, and I like the purple streaks." Lyra smiled.

"I'm like Mummy and Teddy. I'm a meta -metama

He stumbled over the words and Teddy tried to help. Now the two boys were trying to pronounce it, both falling miserably. I glanced at Harry, then at my old friends with an endearing smile.

"A metamorphagus."

"Yeah!" The boys chimed.

"Why don't we go see the lions?"

"Yes!" The boys shouted and CJ followed Teddy into the zoo.

"Shouldn't we stay close?" Odin asked watching the kids run. We were walking slowly behind them.

"Teddy knows the zoo like the back of his hand." Harry smiled. "We'll see them just around the corner, gawking at the lions."

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And so, the day went on, as the kids looked at all the animals, we caught up on lost times. Lyra and Odin were engaged for the past two years, but with both of them working hard, they still haven't got around to it. Lyra told me about her healing carrier. While Odin talked about his Masters in Potions and the job offers that were waiting for him. They talked to Harry about his Auror position and how we had gotten close. Harry raised an eyebrow at me, asking if it was okay to tell them. With an approving nod, he told them about how he found me in Australia all these years ago. Then the conversation turned to me. I didn't tell them everything, they already felt bad enough. I told them about the early birth, about Ced's parents coming to live with us in Australia. And finally, the news that we were moving back.

"WHAT?!" Lyra squealed in delight.

"You heard me, we moved back." I grinned and Lyra wrapped me in another tight hug.

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"That went well." Harry smiled as he looked over Teddy's shoulder to me. Teddy had been exhausted at the day in the zoo and after Harry had picked him up, he slept in his arms.

"Seeing them now, it just hit me how hard I missed them." I glanced over to CJ, who had his hand in mine. "We are almost at the apparition point, sweetie."

"Alright, mummy." He smiled but I saw the tired look in his eyes.

"Do you want me to carry him?" Harry asked.

"No, he's okay. He's used to it by now."

"Used to what?" He asked as we reached the apparition point.

"I'll tell you once we get those two to bed." I turned and Teddy squeezed me hand before we disappeared from a few streets behind the zoo.

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Once the kids were in bed, Harry and I sat down in the living room where Andy was watching the telly. Harry waited patiently as I poured us some tea and handed out cookies.

"It's the scar." I started and touched my stomach. I lifted the hem of my shirt and showed him the scar from years ago, when they had removed my appendix after a dark cursed hit me. "When I was pregnant with CJ the pain completely disappeared and it stayed away until I stopped breastfeeding. But only three weeks after, CJ was about 20 months then, the pain started up again." Harry's eyes lifted from the scar to my face, looking worried. "It comes and goes. Sometimes I can go days without feeling anything but other times... Especially after a long day, it can with the slightest movement."

"That's why you don't pick him up." Harry said. I saw Andy in the corner of my eye. She was watching the telly but I knew she was listening intently. She knew all this, of course, she was the one who told me to confide in others.

"Yes. When we just started travelling, I picked him up and the pain coursed through me so bad, they had to take me to the hospital. CJ had nightmares for weeks, afraid he'd lose me too."

"I'm sorry." He pulled me in a hug, and I rested my chin in the crook of his neck.

"It's okay. I learned to live with it, I just need to remind myself to take it easy from time to time. I told CJ I wasn't going anywhere, but we had to look out for mummy's boo-boos."

"There isn't anything that can be done?"

"No, not that I've found. We travelled the world, saw all types of healers. But none can figure out how to cure it."

"Then George is the luckier one then." He grumbled a little and I quirked an eyebrow. "I mean, yes, he got cursed too, and lost an ear, but he doesn't have any pain or other symptoms from the curse. Snape blasted it off and that was the end of it. You have to live with uncontrollably heavy pains for the rest of your live. And you don't even know when they will occur."

I gave him a small smile and rested my hand on top of his. "Try not to think about it too much. There is nothing we can do about it."

"But-"

"I got an idea." Andy interrupted and I gave her a grateful smile. I know Harry just wanted to help, but I searched for almost two years for a cure. I know there isn't any. "Why don't you two go out next weekend."

"What?" Harry and I asked, because that wasn't what I expected.

"Harry, you barely gone out since your split with Ginny. And Gwen, you have been travelling with CJ for two years, you can't have gone out much."

"I don't know." I said as I bit my lip. "What if we bump into someone?"

"Wait." Harry said as he searched his pockets. "They were handing this out a few streets outside the zoo." He said as he unwrapped the paper and handed it over.

The corner of my mouth twitched up as I glanced from the paper to Harry. "Karaoke?"

"Well, we don't have to sing." He pushed his glasses up his nose. "But it's muggle and new, so the chances of running in to someone you know is pretty small."

"Alright." I grinned. "But if we are doing this, we are singing, Potter."

Harry groaned into his hands. "What have I got myself into."

I glanced at Andy, and we both grinned. When I turned back to Harry, I said. "You have no idea."