Chapter 73 – Addiction

OoO

We left the stage, hand in hand, and when we stepped off the steps I turned to Harry. "That was fun! Let's go choose another song!"

I tugged him through the crowd before he could answer. "You're quite the kisser, Harry." I looked over my shoulder, Harry was still red in the face. "It was just a kiss, Potter." I laughed. "I'm sure you kissed plenty of other witches. I didn't expect you to go in fully but-"

My voice trailed off as I looked back forward. Right in the eyes of the one I wasn't ready to see. "George." I gasped, my heart beating fast in my chest. Why was my heart beating this fast? Why did my stomach clench together at the sight of him.

The man, who I could easily read before, was now unreadable. His face was set in stone as he looked at me. His hair was again, partially tied up in the back, while his free locks rested on his shoulder. I saw movements in the corner of my eye, Fred who was standing on George's right, had his hair short, a large contrast to George's. On his left was Lee, his hair in the afro I saw a few weeks ago. We all stared at each other for a long moment, the music and the noises of the crowd filled the deafening silence. I couldn't take my eyes off him, his hard eyes flickered to my hand that was clasped in Harry's. Harry quickly let go as he saw this too and rubbed his neck nervously.

Then, to my horror, George turned and walked out of the pub. I watched him go and pushed back the tears that were started to form. Fred opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He shot me an apologetic look before he followed his twin. Lee reached over and rested his hand on my shoulder. When I turned to look at him, he enveloped me in a tight hug. I hugged him back with everything I had, trying to show him how much I missed him.

"I've missed you." He murmured in my ear. "I'll talk to him. I guess it was just the shock." He pulled back and kissed my cheek. "We'll catch up. Can I write to you?"

"Write or text if you have a phone." I said softly, still in shock of seeing them, seeing George's reaction and departure. "I'm staying at Andromeda's."

"Great." He squeezed my hand, with a half-hearted smile and a nod to Harry, he followed the twins' footsteps.

I turned to Harry with tears in my eyes. "What was that about everyone being happy to see me?"

"Oh, Gwen." Harry pulled me in a hug, and I rested my head on his shoulder, the tears rolling down my cheek. Harry moved us, until we were in a dark secluded corner and he apparated us out of the karaoke bar.

We landed straight in my bedroom. Without saying anything, he transfigured my dress into a nightgown and tucked me in. I curled up in a ball again, just like weeks prior, the tears rolling down freely now. He kissed the top of my head. "It will all be fine, trust me." He whispered before he walked out of the bedroom. I curled even more into myself, hugging my knees against my chest. Trying to block everything out.

OoO

"Harry?" Andy asked surprised as he bounded down the stairs. "Where is Gwen?" She looked behind him worried. "What happened?"

"We bumped into George, Fred and Lee." He rubbed his hand over his face.

"Oh."

"That's not all." He dropped down on the coffee table in front of her. "I saw them when I was waiting at the bar, I wanted to warn her, but the DJ just called us up to sing."

"Okay." She said slowly.

"We sang together, it was fun. As it was kind of a romantic song, people asked us to kiss at the end."

"And of course, you kissed."

"What do you mean of course?" Harry said flabbergasted.

"Well, you're both single, young and rather good looking. Probably had something to drink too. So, why not?"

"Maybe because we're friends? And the fact that George was in the same room."

"Just friends?"

Harry pursed his lips at Andy. "Yes, you know we are. The kiss was great, and I got a little carried away, but just friends. And if you saw how she looked at George..."

"There is still something there?" She asked surprised and he nodded. "For both of them?"

"Seems that way. I don't know if she knows it herself, but her look said everything."

"Oh, wow." She leaned back in her seat with a surprised look. "Where is she now?"

Harry sighed. "Curled up in her bed. George didn't speak to her, he just turned and walked away. Fred too, only Lee spoke to her."

"And let me guess, you were on your way to the twins' flat?"

"Uhm." He rubbed his neck. "Yes?"

"No."

"No?"

"No, they were probably in shock seeing her after all those years. Upset that she didn't came to them when she arrived here. She just popped up in a bar, singing with Harry bloody Potter. A guy she never really befriended; you know."

"I know. But she's really upset." He glanced to the ceiling.

"And you're a great friend who's trying to spare her any pain."

"She's already been through enough."

"Do you know?"

"About the addiction?" He asked, and she nodded. "Yeah, she told me a few weeks ago."

OoO

Two months have passed since the battle, since I've lost my husband. I was sitting in a dark hotel room again, now in Singapore. The room was littered with opened daydream charms and used IV bags. I heard the noises from the busy life outside coming through my window. My hand cradled my large stomach as I held a daydream charm in the other. I glanced at the IV on my right and sighed. When I caught my own reflection in the mirror it was shocking really. I was just a shell of the woman I used to be. My hair was lifeless and dull brown, my eyes lost all of its sparkle and the heavy bags under it said enough. My cheeks were hollow, my collarbones were sticking out, the only thing that looked healthy about me was the baby bump. I knew what I was doing was wrong. That it doesn't help me move on, but I couldn't help myself. I haven't seen anyone since the battle, this was a way to see him again.

"Are you ready to see daddy, little one?" I said looking at my stomach, a soft kick was the confirmation I needed. I leaned back on the pillows and opened up the IV drip, then I took the daydream charm and opened it, sending me into the vivid daydream in an instant.

OoO

Bash had gotten information on her whereabouts from a friend in Singapore. The Patronus had just disappeared, and he let the spoon drop in the pot he was stirring and charged out the cabin. He knew where Charlie was working and ran to the Stonewall's enclosure. He was looking worried and wild-eyed around the reserve in search of his husband. Then he noticed the familiar red hair.

"CHARLIE!" He called out. Charlie turned away from the gate he just had closed, and when he saw the look in his face, his face paled. "I've found her, I know where she is!"

"Where?" He ran over.

"A hotel in Singapore. Darius, he said it doesn't look good." Bash's voice shook as he said it. Charlie wrapped him in a tight hug.

"Alright, let's go get her." He pulled back and gave him a soft kiss. "We'll set the Portkey and we'll be on our way. Let's go get our girl, yeah."

"Thank you for... everything." Bash leaned his head against Charlie's. "I love you."

"I love you too." He intertwined their fingers together. "Let's go."

OoO

The hotel she was staying in was a simple muggle hotel, so it was easy to open the door to her room. The scene that appeared in front of them was shocking. Bash was already crying and frozen at the spot as he saw his sister in the bed. Skinny except for her belly, her eyes were open and glossed over, for a moment he thought the worst. Charlie had rushed in the room, nearly tripping over the boxes and bags on the floor. He quickly casted different diagnostic spells over her, and Bash breathed out in relief as he saw the familiar blue light shiver over her. He stumbled closer, until he fell on his knees next to the bed.

"G-Gwen." His voices shook as his hand stroked her hair. "Charlie-" He looked at the IV. "What is she doing?"

Charlie's eyes scanned the room quickly, looking for clues. "Nothing good. We need to get her to the hospital, now."

Bash nodded and wiped his tears away and put his arms under her legs and neck. "She's so skinny, do you think we can apparate her?"

"We don't have any choice. Her heartbeat is slowing down, we have to." His eyes flickered from him to Gwen. "Do you want me to carry her?"

"No, I'll be fine. But can you apparate all of us?"

Charlie wrapped his arm around Bash and Gwen, with one last look around the room they vanished.

OoO

A certain amount of time later, my eyes flickered open. I noticed I wasn't in my hotel room, and I started to panic. As my heartbeat sped up, I heart a fast-beeping noise in the room. I went to sit up, but a firm hand pushed me down.

"You're okay, Gwen."

"B-Bash?" I choked out. Bash leaned in closer, and I burst into tears when his face came into view. Bash pulled me gently against his chest, holding me close. The beeping noise receded as my heartbeat slowed.

"You're going to be okay." He rubbed my back softly. "I'm here, we're here. And we are going to help you through this."

I felt a second hand going over my hand, and I knew it was Charlie. "I - I can't."

"You can, love." Charlie's voice whispered closely. "You are strong and courageous. We know you can beat this; we know you can move forwards."

Still with my head against Bash's chest, I reached out for Charlie. He took my hand quickly in his and kissed it. We stayed in that position for a long time, I only stopped crying when I fell asleep on Bash's chest.

OoO

The next time I woke up, I saw Charlie and Bash both sitting on my bed whispering to each other.

"Where am I?" I croaked; my voice hoarse.

"At the hospital, little one." Bash reached over and stroked my hair back. "We almost lost you."

"Lost me?" I asked confused and then my hand went to my tummy. "The- the baby?"

"The baby is fine. He's in perfect health, unlike you." Bash's eyes filled with tears. "What were you thinking?"

"I can't live without him. The daydream charms, they let me see him, like he never d..." I couldn't finish the sentence.

"You'll never be able to move on like that."

"Who said I want to move on?" I snapped at my brother. Bash opened his mouth again, but Charlie was faster.

"Gwen, love. What about the IV? You're malnourished, severely."

"I-" I looked away ashamed of what I did to myself, on how far I let it get. "I enhanced the charms, so they last longer. I used the IV to keep my fluids and nutrients up for the baby when I was under." The tears started to flow freely again. Bash and Charlie enveloped me in a hug again as they caressed my head.

"It's okay. We'll get you through this, together." Bash murmured against my hair.

"You can come back with us."

"No." I shook my head between them. "I don't want to go back to England, I can't."

"You'll stay with us in Romania." Charlie said. "We have room."

"But Gwen." Bash pulled back to look me in the eyes. "We need to inform Amos and Olive." I looked panicked between the two and my breathing started to get erratic. "Shh, it's okay, little one." Bash pulled me back in. "We don't have to tell them everything, not until you're ready."

"I'm sorry." I whispered.

The two men just hugged me tighter. "We love you." And two nights later, with the potions and instructions of the healers, I went home to Romania. I gave birth to CJ in Bash and Charlie's cabin, both men with me, not even two months later. The special potions helped me to my normal weight quickly, and Bash convinced me to see a therapist to help me grieve in a healthier way. It took a while before the want for a daydream charm receded... I haven't used one since that night.