(A/N: Here we go. After a pretty big cliffhanger last chapter, almost literally, where a lot of things happened and the situation continued to grow more and more dire, it's time to see what our... remaining heroes have up their sleeves to stop the seemingly unstoppable Bill. Not too fond of the chapter title, but I couldn't come up with anything else.)

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter 14: Out Of Options

The light disappeared completely as the group fell, giving way to complete darkness. Luz had a solution for that though as she fumbled around in the dark. Bill may have burned all her pre-made glyphs, but he had left her with her pad of blank paper and her glyph stamps, and she felt along the imprints of her stamps for the right one.

"Can't see anything," Sasha complained.

"Hold on a second," Luz replied as she found the right stamp. "I just need to… There we go."

She stamped down on her pad and then tapped the glyph it had left on it. The piece of paper crinkled up and then became a ball of light, illuminating their fall into nothingness.

"Oh, great, that's so much better," Eda grumbled. "Now I can actually see you guys as we fall to our imminent deaths." She turned to glare at Dipper. "Why'd you have me fly us into here?"

He held up his hands. "Don't worry, we're not going to die. This pit acts as some kind of wormhole. It's literally bottomless. It'll eventually just spit us right back out the top."

"We told you about it when we were exchanging stories, remember?" Mabel reminded the others.

Willow's eyebrows rose slightly in remembrance. "Oh, yeah. Guess I forgot about that part. Honestly, it felt a bit like filler to the main story."

"But why have us come down here?" Hunter asked impatiently.

"To buy us time," Dipper replied, as if this should have been obvious. "We'll be falling for about…"

"About as long as a thirty-minute TV show," Mabel summed up, "minus all the commercials, opening theme song, and ending credits. Then we'll end up back on the surface."

"Thirty minutes!?" Amity exclaimed. "Do you know how much damage Bill can do in thirty minutes? Uch, of course you do, you've dealt with him before. What if he uses that time to take down that barrier thing that keeps him confined here and takes Weirdmageddon worldwide? Or dimension-wide. Multiverse-wide. Whatever!"

But Dipper just shook his head. "It's fine. It doesn't matter how much time passes for us, only a couple of seconds will pass by up there."

Eda scowled. "So then we'll just be right back to where we were before."

Dipper crossed his arms. "Hey, it's the best I could do. At least this will buy us some time to try and come up with a plan that won't get us killed."

Next to him, Mabel gasped. "Dipper!"

"What?" he asked impatiently, then followed her gaze over to Sasha and Marcy, both of whom looked highly distraught. His eyes widened in realization at the carelessness of his words. "Oh. Oh, no. Oh, man. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean… I wasn't referring to Anne. I just meant–"

Sasha held up her hand. "Don't. Just, don't, alright. There's…" she sniffed and rubbed her eyes as she blinked back tears, "there's no time to feel sorry for our losses right now. Anne, King, all the palismen, we'll mourn for them all later. Right now, we need to focus on what really matters, and that's stopping Bill."

"I…" Marcy said tearfully, her tears leaving a trail behind as she fell. "I don't know if I can. Anne, she's… she's…"

A growl escaped Sasha and she reached out and grabbed Marcy by her shirt. "Listen, Marcy, this is just as hard for me as it is for you; just as losing King is just as hard on them as losing Anne is for us. But if we don't use this time to do something about it, then their deaths will have been in vain, and I'm not going to let that happen. So suck it up and be sad later, because we can't afford to waste any time."

Marcy stared at her in surprise. In an instant, she knew that she was looking at full-on military leader Sasha from her time leading the rebel army against Andrias and the Core. And she was right, as hard as it was, there was no time to dwell on their losses. Dipper had said that they had about thirty minutes, give or take, before the hole spit them back out the top and they would have to confront Bill again. That gave them precious little time to come up with a solution on how to stop him.

Sniffling, she rubbed her eyes with the back of her sleeve and nodded. "You're right, I'll… hold myself together."

Sasha released her. "Good. Now," she looked back at the others, her eyes narrowed in determination, "what are we going to do about Bill?"

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Anne became aware of the fact that she was waking up, and as that awareness returned, she struggled to reach that form of consciousness. She reached it suddenly and woke with a loud gasp, jerking up off the ground.

"Oh, man, that was a bad idea," she said breathlessly.

Immediately though, her gaze was drawn to her surroundings. It was impossible for it not to be, even if she had been here only once before. And while it had changed slightly, it was still a small island with a little house on it floating in the depths of space as shooting stars flew past it.

A smile spread across Anne's face. "But it looked like it worked." Her smile instantly fell away. "Good thing too; I would have been in real trouble if it hadn't." Suddenly a thought occurred to her as she thought about her friends. "I hope I didn't worry anyone. I didn't say it, but I thought it was obvious what I was doing back there."

Getting to her feet, she rushed over to the little house, throwing the door open and stepping inside without so much as a knock. Inside was the same familiar setting she remembered, though it had been redecorated since she had last been here ten years ago. And this time, there was no old-fashioned computer waiting for her.

Frowning slightly, Anne closed the door and walked further inside. "Um, hello? Hello? Guardian? Are you here? Guardian?"

Just then, she noticed what appeared to be a note sitting on the table where she remembered the computer being. Curious, she walked over to the table and picked up the note. She scowled when she saw that it read, Out to lunch.

"Oh, come on!" she cried in frustration, throwing her arms in the air. "Is this some kind of joke!?"

"Yes, it is. I thought it would be amusing."

Anne froze at the sound of the familiar voice. It sounded older now, more grown up, but it was a voice she had never forgotten. And, slowly, she turned around to see the familiar face of a bipedal, pink frog. He was older than she remembered, but there was no doubt that this was her best friend and adoptive brother, Sprig Plantar.

"S-Sprig?" she asked, blinking back tears that threatened to fill her eyes.

The pink frog shook its head. "No, this is merely the form I took to meet with you this time. Speaking of which, you were right, that computer I appeared to you as before really was very out of date. I should have paid closer attention to your world's technology."

Somehow, Anne's brain managed to work through the shock of seeing her old friend again to put together what was actually going on. "Three Stones Deity?"

The Sprig doppelganger frowned. "That's not my actual name. That was just the username I went by on the computer so you would know who you were talking to."

Anne blinked as she suddenly realized that she never did learn the Guardian's name, if it actually had one, and had simply only ever referred to it as 'the Guardian'. "Oh, well, um, what is your name?"

Acting in accordance with its current form, the pink frog hopped up onto the counter, casually kicking its feet as it let them dangle. "I actually have many names. Most of us deities do. But you can keep calling me 'the Guardian' since that's how you know me as." It motioned to itself. "I took on this form because I know how much you miss your friend and long to see him. This is what he currently looks like." It cocked its head to the side and frowned as it noticed that Anne's eyes were wet. "You are sad. Perhaps I made a mistake in choosing this form. Shall I take on another?"

Anne quickly waved her hands. "No, no, no. It's fine. I was just caught off guard. It's…" she rubbed the back of her head," it's actually really good to see Sprig again, even if it's not really him. Oh, and it's good to see you too, Guardian."

The Guardian gave her a smile. "And you as well, Anne Boonchuy, even if you did resort to extreme measures to arrange this meeting."

Blushing in embarrassment, Anne averted her eyes. "Yeah, I didn't know how else to get in contact with you. You're not exactly easy to reach."

"Perhaps on your end," the Guardian commented, "but I have been keeping a close eye on you ever since we departed, and I must say, I'm very proud of the person you've become. I truly made the right choice in picking you as my successor. Speaking of which, have you given any further thought to taking over my job when the time comes?"

By which Anne knew it meant when she died. "Yeah, I've been thinking of that, and it's still a no for me. Sorry, but the whole guardian of the multiverse just doesn't seem like it's for me."

"Argh!" the Guardian exclaimed, slapping its forehead. "You're killing me, Boonchuy!"

Anne waved her hands at it, giving it a reassuring yet nervous smile. "Hey, hey. That's only my decision right now. I mean, you did say that I'm supposed to live to be ninety-one. I could warm up to the idea and change my mind by then."

The Guardian flopped back onto the table. "I hope so, otherwise I'm going to have to start my search for a successor all over again, and who knows how long that will take."

"Oh, come on now. Surely there must be someone else out there who meets your expectations. I can't possibly be the only one. That's statistically impossible."

A sigh escaped the Guardian, and it lifted its head. "Well, I was considering this one girl named Star Butterfly who lives on an alternate version of Earth; although now I suppose it's an Earth-Mewni combo. But then she went and destroyed all magic in her multiverse. I mean, I understand why she did it, but that decision was a little too reckless, so she's out of the running."

Anne blinked, not fully following everything the Guardian had said in that. But one thing stood out. "Wait, did you say there's an alternate version of Earth?"

Sitting up, the Guardian raised an eyebrow at her. "Of course. What do you think multiverse means?"

"Um, that there was a bunch of different universes or dimensions or whatever out there, not that there's multiple versions of the same one."

The Guardian just chuckled. "Nope, it's much bigger than that. There's not just alternate universes and dimensions, but alternate realities of those alternate universes, and even multiple timelines of those alternate universes, all of them existing within their own dimensional pocket of their own reality. It's practically infinite. That is what the multiverse ultimately is."

Anne felt as if her brain had just been fried. If that was how vast the multiverse really was, then the thought of being the new guardian for it was sounding even bigger than what she had already thought was too big of a job for her. "And in all of those realities and timelines and dimensions, you haven't found anyone but me who meets your expectations? Anyone? Not even some alternate version of me in a different timeline. That's a thing, right?"

The Guardian nodded. "It is, but a different timeline means different events occurred. And different events shape people differently, even different versions of you. You, this specific version of you, is the one I've determined to be the most suitable for my position. Which is why I'm really hoping you'll change your mind about the job."

Anne wobbled her head uneasily. "Well, I guess we'll see, but yeah, maybe start looking for alternatives successors."

Suddenly, something seemed to occur to the Guardian and it pointed at her. "By the way, you can stop worrying about whether or not you're the original Anne Boonchuy or a clone of the original one. When I said that I made a backup of you, I meant that I made a copy of your body, which, yes, is entirely human. After you died when you used the gems to destroy Amphibia's moon, I snatched up your soul before it crossed over to the afterlife and put it in the new body I created. That's what I meant when I said that for all intents and purposes that you were the real Anne Boonchuy."

"I'm really, really glad you clarified that," Anne replied with wide eyes, smiling a little too much, "because that was really bothering me all this time."

Her response made the Guardian chuckle. "Well, I suppose I could have made what I meant clearer. And don't worry, I did the same thing now that I did then, caught your soul before it departed and made another new body for you. You're still the same Anne Boonchuy as before, the one and only."

Suddenly, the smile left the Guardian's face, and it now became serious. "On that note, you have to take better care of yourself. That's twice now you've died. I was able to intervene the first because I chose you as my successor, and again this time because, well, I should have told you what I'm about to say last time. And that is that I can't keep bringing you back to life each time you die, nor will I be able to do so again. The next time you die, you're going to have to stay dead. Do you understand, Anne?" It gave her a very serious look. "The next time you die, it will be for keeps."

Anne gulped nervously. She wasn't sure why that thought unsettled her. She should have known better than to think that her standing with the Guardian came with a permanent get-out-of-death free card. Not that she had initially been thinking that, but when she had confronted Bill, she had been counting on the Guardian resurrecting her once again.

"I'll keep that in mind," she replied, deciding it was time to get down to business. "And on that note, the reason I needed to see you wasn't just for some social call. See, my friends and I are actually facing a pretty big problem, and we really need your help. Earth has been invaded by this super powerful, interdimensional, one-eyed triangle guy."

The Guardian frowned. "Yes, Bill Cipher."

Anne blinked. "Oh, you know about him?"

"Of course I do. I'm the Guardian after all. Why wouldn't I know when such a powerful being is attempting to dimension hop and cause chaos across the multiverse? He's actually been a thorn in my side for a long time."

Anne let out a sigh of relief. "Oh, thank Frog; that makes this so much easier. So, yeah, Bill's on Earth and is causing all kinds of havoc. And apparently, he's found a way to get out of Gravity Falls' weirdness bubble. Wait, you know all this already, right?"

"I do," the Guardian replied with a nod.

Anne clapped her hands together. "Great. Then can you come back to Earth with me and help get rid of him, right?"

A look of discomfort crossed the Guardian's face and it rubbed the back of its head while averting its eyes. "Yes, about that… I'm afraid I can't help you."

The smile immediately fell from Anne's face. "What?" At the Guardian's bashful shrug, she almost lost it. "What!? But, why? What do you mean you can't help? Bill may practically be a god, but you actually are one. Surely he's no match for you."

The Guardian nodded at this. "You are right. As a god, my power does indeed surpass that of Bill Cipher's. However, I'm not allowed to help you."

Anne threw her hands in the air. "What do you mean you're not allowed? He's illegally dimension hopping and causing trouble! You're the guardian, so guard!"

With a sigh, the Guardian hopped off the counter. "I'm afraid it's not that simple. I'm forbidden to interfere with the lives of others."

Anne frowned. "What do you mean you're forbidden?"

"Just what I said. It's against the rules. Why do you think I didn't do anything the first time Bill appeared in your world, or why I didn't do anything against the Newtopian invasions of other worlds over the past several millennia, or even anything with what happened on the Boiling Isles? It's not allowed."

Anne was trying to make sense of this. "What are you talking about? What rules?"

"The rules of interfering with the lives of mortals. If we deities keep getting involved in your lives, well, then you wouldn't be living your lives. Not to mention if we do things for you mortals, then you become dependent on us rather than doing things for yourselves. That's why it's against the rules."

Anne slapped her forehead in frustration. "Oh, come on. You're a literal god. Can't you just break the rules if you want to?"

The Guardian sighed. "Anne, I may be a god, but I'm not the only deity out there. There are others that greatly outrank me. If I break the rules, I could get in real trouble. I'm sorry, but I can't get involved in the affairs of mortals."

Anne suddenly began to grow panicked at the thought of what might be their only hope at stopping Bill being dead on arrival. "But you already did interfere. You saved me. Twice."

The Guardian acknowledged this with a nod. "Yes, but only because I chose you as my successor. But this is actually why I can't bring you back again anymore; too much interfering. I've been given a grace period for your case, but any more will be pushing it."

A feeling that bordered on desperation gripped Anne, mixing with the anger, despair, and fear she was feeling about her predicament. "Then what good are you? It's your job to be the Guardian, but you're telling me you can't do anything about anything? So why even have a guardian?"

At her words, the Guardian's eyes narrowed as it displayed anger for the first time. That effectively silenced Anne. Having "Sprig" look angry with her was one thing, but knowing that she had angered the Guardian sent a deep feeling of unease through her.

"I understand your feelings, Anne Boonchuy," the Guardian coolly scolded, "but do take care of how you speak to me. As you yourself said, I am a god."

Anne gulped nervously. "Sorry, dude. I'm just worried about my world, you know."

This seemed to appease the Guardian, as its anger seemed to fade as it leaned against the counter and crossed its arms. "And I do handle things. I may not intervene directly, but I do act through others. That's how we deities tend to act. For instance, providing Leif with a vison of the future revealing her world's destruction, or having my disciple guide you through the Temple Of Heart, or providing a prophecy on how to save the world to the Mother Of Olms."

Anne's eyes widened at this. "So then, you're saying you…?"

The Guardian smiled. "We deities guide people in life, but it's up to them to decide what to do with that guidance, whether that be accept it, ignore it, or even oppose it. That's the beauty of free will and independence, but also the downside. You get to make your own decisions, but it also means you're on your own."

Yes, Anne supposed she could understand that. Was it really all that different from when her parents had let her go back to Amphibia? They may not have liked her decision, but they let her make her own choice while offering advice and helping her where they could, but were unable to interfere with what happened back in the frog dimension. Yes, free will and independence was indeed a good thing, but it came at a price, and with consequences for poor decisions.

That still didn't make Anne happy about her situation though, and she collapsed to her knees as she realized that she and her friends were really on their own to deal with Bill. She still didn't have a clue as to how they were going to beat him, but the Guardian was not going to be able to help them.

"Then…" she began, but hesitated. Several long seconds of silence passed before she took a deep breath, as if preparing herself. "Then what if… what if I took your job, like, right now?"

The Guardian raised an eyebrow. "You would do that?"

Taking another deep breath, Anne nodded. "I don't want to, but if… if it would give me the power I need to stop Bill, then yes, I'd be willing to do it."

Crossing its arms, the Guardian gave her a look of admiration. "And that is exactly why I picked you to replace me, Anne Boonchuy. But…" it shrugged, "I'm afraid it won't do you any good. Even if you do take my job, you would be bound by the same rules as me, so you wouldn't be able to use your power to stop Bill any more than I could."

Anne stared, feeling her last ray of hope die. She wanted to rage at how stupid these rules were, but at the same time, she could see the logic behind them, even if they proved to be a real nuisance right now. And who was she, a mere mortal with her limited understanding of… everything, to argue with whatever deities came up with these rules to begin with? That would definitely be overstepping.

"So that's it," she said, more to herself than anyone else. "We're really on our own?" She threw her hands up. "I died for no reason!?"

The Guardian chuckled. "Well, not for no reason. We did have a nice chat, and you learned quite a bit from all the, I believe it's called, 'data dumping' I just did. And we got to clarify a few details and clear up some misunderstandings and misconceptions."

Anne sighed and gave the Guardian a pleading look. "If you can't help us, then can you give us any advice on how to stop him?"

The Guardian crossed its arms in thought. "There are ways in which he can be defeated. Not many, but some. He's powerful, yes, but he's not invincible. Your new friends, Dipper and Mabel, did defeat him on more than one occasion in the past."

"But they don't have the memory eraser gun anymore."

"I'm not referring to the memory eraser, and that would only work while he's in someone else's mind."

Anne resisted the urge to roll her eyes. That was incredibly unhelpful. But if the Guardian couldn't do anything about Bill, then she was wasting her time here. She had to get back to the others so they could figure out a way to stop the interdimensional being.

Sighing, she got to her feet. "Well then, I guess I better stop wasting time and get back. Who knows, maybe we will pull off some miracle." But then her eyes widened as something occurred to her. "Wait, hold on. You said that there were alternate versions of worlds and stuff. Does that mean that if we somehow do manage to defeat this Bill that there's actually another one out there somewhere we might need to deal with?"

The Guardian gave her a reassuring smile. "Don't worry about that. There's only one Bill. The Nightmare Realm he originates from is essentially universal across all realities. So there won't be any other versions of him popping up anywhere."

Anne sighed. "Well, better be grateful for small favors." She then gave the Guardian an expectant, asking looking. "So, uh… would you mind?"

"But of course," the Guardian replied and snapped its fingers. There was a flash of light as a rip in space and time tore open and a portal appeared. "It was good to see you again, Anne Boonchuy. And do remember what I said about dying again; this is your last redo."

Anne nodded as she approached the portal. "I remember. The next time I die, I stay dead, got it."

The Guardian nodded. "And please give more thought about taking my place someday. I don't want to have to start my search all over again; who knows how long it will take to find someone else worthy."

Anne just gave it a bashful smile. "No promises, dude." Then, without knowing if it was appropriate or not, but somehow feeling that it somehow extended to the real Sprig, she reached out and ruffled the Guardian's head. "Wish me luck."

"Good luck, Anne. I'll see you again someday, one way or another."

Letting out a humorless chuckle, Anne paused before stepping through the portal. "That day may actually be today. If you can't do anything about Bill, then I may end up dying twice today."

At that, a smirk spread across the Guardian's face. "Oh, I didn't say that I wasn't going to do anything."

Anne had been in the process of stepping through the portal, but now she whirled around with wide eyes. "Wait, what? But I thought you said you couldn't get involved."

The Guardian's smile only widened. "You're right, I can't. But I can get in touch with someone who can."

And then, before Anne could question the deity further, it reached out and pushed her, sending her through the portal.

"Farewell, Anne Boonchuy," the Guardian's voice echoed all around her as Anne fell through a kaleidoscope of light. "I'll be rooting for you."

"Wait," Anne called as she fell, "who are you talking about!?"

But she received no answer.

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Scowls of impatience and frustration were present on the faces of all those present as they continued to fall. Any fear that they might hit the ground seemed to have faded as Dipper and Mabel's words proved to be true, that this bottomless pit did indeed seem to be a wormhole that would eventually spit them back out the top.

As per Dipper's plan, they were indeed hoping to use this time to come up with some way to defeat Bill, but so far, they weren't having very much success with that. Sasha eventually pulled out her phone to check the time, only to find that the clock remained unchanged since she last checked, which seemed to go with what Dipper had said about no time passing by on the surface.

Still, the lack of time-change only seemed to frustrate the blonde girl, and she let out an irritated cry. "This is ridiculous! I can't believe none of us have come up with anything! We've just been falling in silence all this time, not saying or doing anything! You could cut out what's happened to us as we've been falling from a story and it literally wouldn't change anything!"

Marcy pulled out and checked her own phone. "And we're almost out of time, if Dipper and Mabel are right about how long we're supposed to fall."

Sasha gave her a glare that was both annoyed and curious. "How do you know? The clocks on our phones stopped ticking."

The Taiwanese girl held up her phone. "Oh, I set a timer on mine. That still works. I set it for the standard length of an anime episode, minus the opening and closing themes."

"Will you two be quiet," Eda growled irritably. "We're literally no closer to figuring out how to beat Bill than we were when we first came down here, and we're almost near the bottom… or top. However this works. So just throw whatever you've got out there. Does anyone have any ideas?"

Luz sighed. "Afraid not. The only thing I can think of is using a spell to send Bill into someone's mind again like we were sent into Marcy's. But the only one here who knows that spell is Eda."

"And thanks to my curse, I can't use that spell without Owlbert since we don't know the glyph combo for it," the Owl Lady finished, following Luz's train of thought.

"Even if it worked," said Dipper, "we don't have the memory eraser. And since Bill has a body now, he could just exit whatever mind we magic him into on his own."

"And since he'll physically be in someone's mind in that case," Gus added thoughtfully, "there's no telling if we even could erase him away like that."

"Or what it would do to King if we did," Luz finished. "That's why I dropped the idea."

Mabel groaned and rubbed her forehead. "Uch, all this thinking is making my brain hurt, and mine's not even coming up with anything. Come on, brain, make ideas!"

"Petrification," Hunter suggested suddenly, and all heads turned to him. "It's all I've got. We just turn him to stone, boom, it's instant death."

Dipper raised an eyebrow. "Really? It wasn't when Bill turned a bunch of people to stone seventeen years ago. They turned back to normal when we moved them from their positions."

"Maybe it's because Bill was warping reality instead of using magic," Marcy theorized.

"Well, it's death when using magic," Hunter replied. "Honestly, I don't see how you survive turning to stone." He glanced at Luz. "You figured out that glyph combo, didn't you?"

She shifted uncomfortably. "Yeah, back when I was experimenting with the original glyphs. But what's the point? Bill's already shown that he's more powerful than our magic; he could just resist the spell."

Willow tapped her chin. "Maybe the key isn't defeating Bill, but bringing back King. Maybe if we get into his mind, we can find the part of King that's still there… If it is."

Dipper shivered. "Going into Bill's mind just sounds like a bad idea."

"And again," Eda added, "no glyph combo for the spell."

At that moment, the timer on Marcy's phone went off. She pulled it out, looking at it nervously before showing it to the others. "Guys, it looks like we're out of time."

Looking worried, Dipper glanced down. "Yup, right on cue, there's the exit."

The others looked down as well. Where beneath them there was once nothing but blackness, there was now a light that was getting closer and closer, and it did appear to be the other end of the hole. But then, just as the Pines twins had said, it was revealed to be the same hole they had originally jumped into, spitting them right back out once more. And there waiting for them was none other than Bill Cipher.

"Oh, hey, you're back," he commented nonchalantly. "You have a good fall?"

"Quick, back down again!" Mabel shouted.

She turned around to leap back down the bottomless pit, but with a "Nope" from Bill, the interdimensional being's hand stretched out, and then, as if from out of a cartoon, he picked up the hole and snatched it away, causing Mabel to fall flat on her face.

"No more hiding in your hole," Bill told them as he twirled the hole around on his finger. "It's time to bring this little game to an end."

Eda transformed into her harpy form, spreading her wings and moving in front of the others protectively. "Just stay behind me."

Bill tossed the hole over his shoulder, where it came back down to become a bottomless pit once more, only now several meters away from its original spot. "Fine then, Owl Ladies first."

He pointed his finger at Eda as if to blast her. She held her ground though, glaring up at the interdimensional being, unwilling to show any fear.

Suddenly, there was a flash of light from behind Bill, and he turned around just in time to see a portal appear. This drew everyone else's attention as well, and they looked on in astonishment as Anne came tumbling out of it. The portal immediately closed behind her as she sat up, rubbing her head.

"Ow," she mumbled. "That was a much rougher drop-off than I remember."

"What!?" Bill exclaimed. "Impossible! How the heck are you alive!?"

"A-Anne?" Marcy asked hesitantly.

The girl in question glanced past Bill at them and awkwardly held up her hand in greeting. "Um, hey, guys."

"Anne!" the others cried. Sasha and Marcy charged at her, running right past the interdimensional being, both of them enveloping her in a hug that knocked her off her feet.

"Anne, you're really here!" Marcy cried with tears in her eyes. "We thought you died!"

Anne was about to say that she did die when Sasha suddenly grabbed her by the front of her shirt and began angrily shaking her. "You scared the heck out of us, Boonchuy! What in the world were you thinking!?"

Once again, before Anne could say anything, both Sasha and Marcy were yanked back by an unseen force and thrown into the others. Bill flew right up to her, startling Anne back as he hovered in front of her angrily with is hands on his hips.

"I believe I asked a question first. How are you alive? I know I blasted you to bits. So what gives?"

Anne crab-crawled away from him as he hovered closer and closer. "I… I… I was just, uh–AHHH!"

Her stammering gave way to a yell as she ended up crab-crawling backwards right into the bottomless pit behind her. Bill looked down into the pit to see her disappear into its depths, her cry slowly fading out.

Sighing, Bill rubbed his eye in mild annoyance before crossing his arms, tapping his fingers against them. "Three, two, one."

He glanced back down the hole, and suddenly saw Anne come flying back up and out of the hole to land hard on the ground. A moment later, she sat back up and looked around in confusing before throwing her hands in the air.

"What the heck was that!?" she exclaimed. "I was falling for, like, thirty minutes! And how am I back up here!?"

"All good questions," Bill remarked and flicked his finger. Anne was yanked off the ground and left dangling upside-down in the air. "And it was more like nineteen and a half minutes for you, not thirty. But answer my question first. How are you alive?"

"Anne!" Marcy cried.

Ignoring Bill, Anne glanced back at her friends. "You guys, I'm sorry I scared you. I thought if I could get Bill to kill me that I could see the Guardian again and get it to help us."

"The Guardian? As in of the multiverse?" Bill asked, drawing Anne's attention back to him. "That old headache?"

He flicked his finger again, and Anne was thrown into the others. Angry at being constantly knocked over, Eda sat up and glared at him. "Stop throwing us at each other!"

The interdimensional being just laughed, though his amusement seemed to be because of Anne. "Man, you must be a real idiot to think that the Guardian would do anything. Don't you know that deities don't interfere with mortal affairs anymore?"

Anne sat up and groaned. "Yeah, I learned that the hard way."

Sasha punched her shoulder. "That was your plan!? To frickin' die and ask the Guardian for help? What the heck, Boonchuy!?"

She glanced at her blonde friend nervously. "Well, it may not be a total loss. The Guardian did say that it was going to send someone to help us."

Bill loomed closer, growing in size as he approached. "And whoever it is, I'll be sure to make them regret making the trip. Especially since all they'll find are a bunch of flattened meat bags."

He lifted his foot, and it grew colossal in side, more than big enough to crush the pile of humans and witches. But as his foot came, there was a flash of light, and Bill's crushing foot came to a stop at the last second as it came in contact with something that held it back.

Dipper, who had closed his eyes as he readied himself to be crushed, cracked them open. "What… happened?"

He looked up to see that Bill's massive foot had been held back by a single index finger that had blocked it. And that finger belonged to a little boy dressed in a strange outfit decorated with suns and moons on the sleeves. His face was two-colored, resembling a crescent moon, with one side being dark yellow and the other being light purple, with three stars-shaped marks beneath his left eye.

"Hey, this looks fun," the boy said cheerfully. "Mind if I join in?"

(A/N: Ok, a lot to unpack here. Dipper had a fairly decent plan, using the bottomless pit to buy some time to come up with a plan. Unfortunately, no one was able to come up with anything useful before their drop was over. And Anne's plan was a bit of a bust too. I'm guessing you all knew she wasn't going to stay dead and was just trying to get to the Guardian. Predictable, maybe, but necessary for the story. But it seems that even though the Guardian has the power to do something about Bill, it's not allowed to. Ah, but what's this. It seems that someone knew has entered the scene at the last second. You should be able to tell who it is based on his description. If not, you'll have to wait until next time to see who it is, and how this will change the game. Things are really going to start to get interesting now. By the way, did you know that reviews make the world go round. Hint hint.)