Papa's Home, Party's Over
You can't go home again.
-Iris Shining Sword Belzerg
"So, you ready to kick some ass?"
Iris looked up from adjusting her gauntlet and nodded. "Yes. Help me with this, Katsuki."
He grunted, picking up the enchanted adamantoise plate and helping put it over her head, then adjusting the straps. Technically, this was the sort of thing an armorer or body servant should do, but in the current circumstances they had no spare hands for those tasks, and as such Bakugo attended Iris' needs.
Not that she minded, these days. He was surprisingly deft at the job, and his sure hands quickly had her fully girded for battle. He'd never been blushing or awkward about it, nor when he helped treat her wounds, nor she his, after a fight. It was obvious that he found her appealing, and if Iris was honest with herself, she was increasingly appreciative of his own physique. But they didn't have time for insipid romance. They had a war to fight.
"Well, do you think you shall be able to keep up with me?" Iris asked once she had on her gear.
Bakugo snorted and hefted his axe. He was bare chested, save for a loose leather vest, and his pants were simple trousers. "Shit, I ain't the one haulin' around a few dozen kilos of metal. You just have to keep up with me."
That prompted a feral grin from Iris. "It wouldn't kill you to wear a little armor yourself, you know."
"What, and make it too easy? That shit would just slow me down anyway," Bakugo laughed. He paused then, a strange look passing over his face. Concern? That was new. "You take care out there today, alright? These fuckers are up to something. Our little hit and run campaign has worked too damn well. I just...I dunno. Feel like shits about to hit the fan."
"I have you, do I not? My faithful shield. With you at my side, we shall not fail," Iris said, reaching up to rest a hand on Bakugo's shoulder. He was quite tall. She liked that in a man. Which was fortunate, as she seemed doomed to share her mother's less than impressive height.
A wide grin spread over Bakugo's face, and he laughed. "Well alright then! Come on. Let's go fuck shit up."
Outside the tent the Crimson Demons were waiting, along with Wiz, Vanir, Sero, Eris herself, and the two other heroes from Japan; Ashido and Kirishima. Unless Iris very much missed her guess, those two were involved with one another, perhaps even more than Yunyun and Sero. She didn't have a problem with it, but did factor that into her tactics. They'd fight harder to support one another, and were likely to do something reckless if they thought their lover was in danger, and would likely break if their partner was injured or died. Still, they seemed capable fighters, and Iris rather enjoyed Ashdio's bubbly attitude. It was refreshing in this bleak world.
"You all know what it is we must do," Iris said to the assembled group. "Guren must be frozen, that Sir Bakugo and I may destroy him. Ashido, Kirishima, you shall assist Eris in slaying Evil Lord Envy. Sero, you shall support the Crimson Demons and ensure they are able to cast their spells without interference. Questions?"
"We'll win, your majesty, don't worry!" Ashido said, giving a thumbs up and a dazzling smile to Iris. That made her smile; it reminded her of Kazuma's own optimism.
"Very well. Lady Eris, before we depart, might we ask for your blessing?" Iris asked.
The young looking goddess nodded seriously, then closed her eyes and spread her arms wide. Around her, the others knelt, bowing their heads. When Iris did the same, Bakugo slowly sank to his own knees, though he kept his eyes open, always on the alert for danger. Or maybe he just thought little of religion. She wouldn't blame him; after being damned she would have struggled to look on the goddesses with favor.
"I, Eris, Goddess of Fortune, grant you all a Divine Blessing. The will of heaven marches with you this day, and I shall be at your side. Go forth, knowing that our cause is righteous. Today, we shall end the scourge that threatens our people, and free Belzerg. This, I, Eris, Goddess of Fortune, say, for I have-"
Eris let out a sudden girlish shriek at the same time Bakugo let out a roar and launched himself forward, his axe swinging in a fiery arch towards the neck of a smiling man in strange clothes that had appeared at the edge of the clearing. The axe came to a sudden halt only millimeters from the man's neck.
"Oh ho, don't mind me! That was very sweet, Eris, an excellent blessing, bravo!" the man said, clapping politely as Bakugo's muscles strained and his nostrils flared, every ounce of his will being directed at swinging his axe. Bakugo's hand trembled, attempting to point at the man's chest and unleash a blast.
"Now now, none of that. Please, why don't you have a seat?" the man pointed, and Bakugo was flung back to Iris' side, landing on his rear end. Iris tried to rise, but found an impossible force pressing her down. She grunted, straining against it, but couldn't even lift her hand.
"Please! Everyone! Calm down. This...this is...oh god...This is Upper Management," Eris said, her face a mask of horror. "He's...he's my boss."
"Oh, I like to think of us as friends, Eris! After all, you're a valued member of our organization!" the man laughed.
Eris flushed and prostrated herself. "Director Koizumi, please! This, this is my world, and these are my followers, I had to, I need to-"
Koizumi clicked his tongue and shook his head, the smile never slipping from his lips. "Now Eris, you know the rules, don't you? You're not supposed to be here. This is in the quarantine zone. Belzerg is a Tomb World now. You know how many gods and goddesses Demiurge has killed. And he's here. Are you really willing to risk it all to save this world? There are so few humans left here, it's hardly worth the bother."
"Hey pal, fuck you!" Bakugo snarled, visibly trembling with effort as he continued to struggle against the will of this god. "These are real people! You can't just-"
"Ah, mortal passion. How quaint. I shall let you know when your input is needed, Mr.-" For the first time, Koizumi's smile slipped as his eyes settled on Bakugo. "...That cannot be right."
Bakugo's lips moved soundlessly now, and Iris let out a snarl of rage. "Unhand him, coward! That is my Sworn Shield, Sir Katsuki Bakugo! He is second only to myself and the goddess in authority in Belzerg!"
"Hmm, ah, yes, you I know, you're supposed to be here," Koizumi said, the smile returning to his face. Then he glanced at Sero, Ashido, and Kirishima, and it slipped again. "How are…? Eris. You have some explaining to do."
"Director Koizumi, I...I merely saw an opportunity to aid my followers," Eris said, her tone pleading. "Please, let me fight alongside them! These mortals, they need our help! We NEED them! I have so few followers left, at least let me fight and die alongside the people I love! What is the point of being a goddess if I cannot fulfill my duties!?"
"Eris. Tell me where you got these...individuals," Koizumi barked, his eyes now burning with an eerie light as an orb of burning golden light appeared above one hand.
"T-they are from Japan, Director. Um, I was judging their souls, and well, I noticed they were strong. Very strong. With their help, we've been pushing back the forces of the Tomb! Bakugo, he and Iris slew Pandora's Actor!"
"What?! Impossible!" Koizumi barked, striding forward to loom over the quivering Eris. "He is the creation of The Lord of the Tomb, his son, an Area Level Guardian! Only the strongest of gods have ever managed to defeat one of those, and only temporarily!"
"It's true! Can you not sense it? The Tomb is losing on this world! We close, so close to finally ending their reign of terror and freeing my followers! Please!"
The golden orb vanished, and Koizumi stalked over to Iris and Bakugo. No! She would not allow this! With a scream of rage, Iris managed to summon Caliber to her hand, swinging it in a low arc towards Koizumi's chest, as Bakugo bellowed and let loose with a small explosion.
A force like nothing Iris had ever felt before picked her up and slammed her down into the ground, driving the breath from her body and crumpling her armor. Bakugo gasped in pain, and Iris thought she heard his ribs crunch as the same happened to him.
"We shall see the truth of this," Koizumi hissed, and put a hand to both of their foreheads. Iris shrieked in pain as something reached into her mind, dragging forth memories. It was all too much, and for a moment, she blacked out. When she came to, she heard only laughter. Groggily, she opened her eyes, and found Koizumi standing over her and Bakugo, his head thrown back as he cackled.
"D-director?" Eris gasped, clutching at her throat. Her feet were kicking at the daggers impaled in the ground as she hung suspended in the air. Apparently, she'd tried to attack this 'Upper Management' person as well.
"Ah, forgive me. It has been some time since I have been surprised. I seem to have overreacted. My apologies, Eris, and to your followers."
Iris sucked in a breath as golden light bathed her body, her wounds healing as her armor was suddenly repaired. Eris dropped to the ground, gasping and trembling.
"So. From Japan, eh?" Koizumi said, standing over Bakugo and looking down. "You have the smell of Shonen about you."
"Fuck off," Bakugo hissed, getting slowly to his feet.
"Ah-ah. I have forgiven your actions once, Bakugo. Try to harm me again, and I shall send you right back to where you should be. And you know where that is, don't you? You'll never see your queen again."
Bakugo paled, but stepped sideways to put himself between Iris and Koizumi. "I'll fight you anyway. I swore an oath to-"
"Oh, I know. It's hilarious! To think, someone such as you falling in love with-but ah, we've had our genre's mixed up for some time, haven't we? I suppose this is only appropriate. It is well that Kyon told me to look into this. I would not have guessed- still, time enough for that later. So, Eris, you think you truely can defeat Demiurge, and free this world?"
Rubbing at her throat, Eris slowly nodded.
"Good." A wide grin reappeared on Koizumi's face, and he bowed. "For now, I shall leave you to your task. Should you succeed, you shall be rewarded. And if you fail...well, you'll all be dead, so the consequences won't really matter to you, will they? I'd say good luck, but well, that's really Eris' thing. Me? I haven't believed in luck for a long time. Farewell."
And as suddenly as he had appeared, Koizumi was gone. Eris got slowly to her feat, her breath slowly returning.
"Eris?" Iris said, her voice sounding shaken in her ears. "Who was that?"
"That was...Upper Management," Eris croaked. "He is...well, you know Aqua? She's a Senior Goddess. Me, I'm just a Junior Goddess, the lowest ranking level of deity. Above Seniors are Elder Gods, Regional Supervisors, and Area Domain Level Supervisors. And...and above them are the Four Directors in Upper Management, then the Chief Goddess. That was...that was Koizumi, Director of Space."
"He's a fucking asshole is what he is," Bakugo snarled. "Fuck him! I-shit, sorry, Iris, I just...damn. I'm sorry. He kicked my ass. I couldn't do anything."
"Considering that he is several levels above a god, I think you can be forgiven," Iris said, feeling utterly shaken. She shook her head. "What was he talking about? Quarantine Zone? Fallen gods?"
Eris sighed heavily. "I...I was forbidden from incarnating here. And...and if I am honest...I did not incarnate. This...this is me. All of me. Not an avatar, not a manifestation, not even an incarnation. I came here, to Belzerg, in all my power. Should I fall here, now, that's it. Goddesses do not have an afterlife. I would die, along with this world. But it was the only chance of victory, and Fortune favors the bold."
"Um, why'd he look at us so weird?" Ashido asked nervously. "He acted like we weren't supposed to be here either."
"I do not know," Eris said slowly. "Shonen...but we are-I do not understand. I shall have to inquire in the Divine Realm. But nevermind. This is still our chance. Do you all feel up to it, to fight the Tomb today?"
"I'm so pissed right now I need to either kill something or fu-or find something to blow up," Bakugo snarled, small pops and cracks sounding as he twitched and lit off some explosions.
"Are we all hale?" Iris asked, looking around. The others nodded, though they all looked shaken. Iris took a deep breath. "Very well. I suppose we have the blessing of the goddess, and of this Upper Management now. Let us begin."
They separated into their groups as the noncombatants began to break down the camp. They'd move as soon as possible, as this location would likely be compromised, the arrival of the strange Koizumi notwithstanding.
Iris took a deep breath then took hold of Komekko's hand, Bakugo taking the other.
"Dark Lady watch over us," Komekko muttered, a prayer to her long dead sister. "Teleport!"
They appeared on a hill overlooking the long, snaking column of the enemy army. Despite constant raids by the Crimson Demons, it hardly appeared as though they'd managed to do any significant damage to the force at all, and Pandora's Actor himself rode at the front on a massive dreadstead. Well. That changed today.
No sooner had they arrived than an icy wind began to blow, and the sky darkened to pitch blackness. Snow and sleet began to rain down as Iris and Bakugo prepared to charge.
"HEAR ME, SISTER! LET THE SOULS OF THE FALLEN CRY OUT IN VENGEANCE! LET YOUR DARK POWER FLOW THROUGH ME!" Komekko screamed to the heavens. "EXPLOSION!"
A massive blast heated the air momentarily, wiping out dozens of demons that had been turning towards them. Komekko gasped, dropping to the ground, but pulled out a hunk of meat and began to chew on it. Somehow, she could metabolize food directly to mana. Invaluable for a mage, and probably why she ate as much as three people twice her size.
"CRYSTAL ICE PRISON!" Wiz's voice bellowed, and a massive ring of icicles formed around Guren.
The ice hissed and began to melt, but Iris extended her hand as she and Bakugo raced forward. "DIVINE BLIZZARD!"
More Crimson Demons nearby cried out spells as well, icy orbs and bolts impacting Guren and turning his fiery body to jagged stone.
At the same time, Vanir and Eris attacked Pandora's actor at the head of the collum, the shapeshifter taking on the form of a bird like monster and firing a stream of magical arrows, even as the goddess and Duke of Hell struck back. That battle, however, was not the one Bakugo was focused on.
"We've got him!" Iris snarled as Bakugo laughed and launched himself forward on an explosion.
And then Guren shifted, shrinking in on himself. Bakugo and Iris stumbled to a stop, their breath misting before them. "What the fuck?"
"Ach! Frauline! I was beginning to wonder when I would see you again!" a familiar, cheery voice called.
"No," Iris growled. "No!"
The ice around where gurren had been shattered and broken, and from within the icy prison strode Pandora's Actor, twirling a marshal's baton. "Oh, but you disappoint me, Frauline. Such a cold reception! It does not befit one such as you."
"DIE!" Bakugo screamed, jumping forward and swinging his axe in a blaze of smoke and flame, only for Pandora's Actor to catch it on his baton.
"Are you not curious?" the strange generalisimo asked, his tone injured. "Do you not wish to know how I am alive, Wutjager?"
"DON'T FUCKIN' CARE!" Bakugo roared. "IRIS! What do we do? We fight, or what?"
"Kill him!" Iris snarled, and lept to the attack. "Kill them all!"
"Such a lack of manners! Ach, a man creates such a cunning illusion, and no one cares! Na dann dann. Sehr gutt, to business then! Come, mine friends, it is time for Frauline Iris to join her father and brother."
Two dark portals opened up beside Pandora's actor, and two demons strode forth, one that appeared to be a beautiful young man with plate armor and dark wings, the other a brute with curving horns and large fangs and claws.
"The Evil Lords serve the Son of Ainz Ool Gown," the brute hissed. He grinned at Bakugo. "Ah. One who lives by wrath. Today, human, your sin shall be your downfall. I shall-"
"DIE!" Bakugo screamed, and unleashed a barrage of explosions on the two newcomers as Iris raced in and began a deadly dance with Pandora's actor.
"My daughter, why do you resist?" her father said as the shapeshifter took his face and body. "Law down your sword, your father commands it!"
"MY FATHER IS DEAD!" Iris screamed, tears freezing to painful crystal on her cheeks. "AND YOU KILLED HIM!"
"Sister, please, there is no need for this violence," Jatis her brother pleaded. "Come, rest with us. Here, there is peace. Better yet, swear yourself to the Tomb. Save our people with your sacrifice!"
"DIE!" Iris shrieked, unleashing a barrage of destructive magic. "DIE! DIE! DIE!"
Bakugo suddenly attacked Jatis from behind, his axe biting deep into the prince's back. From the corner of her eye, Iris saw Sero and Yunyun now battling against the two demon Evil Lords, along with half a dozen Crimson Demons. They didn't appear to be winning, but at the same time, they didn't look to be losing either.
"Two on one? Have you no honor, my sister?" Jatis demanded as me backed away.
"My honor is the blood of my people!" Iris snapped.
"Fuck off pal, this is a fight, not a duel!" Bakugo cackled. He raised his axe above his head, flames suddenly wreathing his body. "RED! IT'S TIME TO PARTY!"
I COME, MASTER!
From the inferno a massive red dragon appeared, roaring in anger and rage. BURN, DEMON!
The flames washed over Iris, but instead of consuming her, life flowed through her body as her wound knit. Flowers bloomed in the icy ground, and grass sprang up around Iris' feet. Thus was the power of the Divine Axe, and the spirit of the Red Wyrm within it, made manifest.
The Son of Ainz, however, only tutted as Jatis burned away. "This is the best you have?"
"DIE!" Bakugo roared once more as Vaelastraez returned to the form of an axe. Iris fell into synch with him, and together they both unleashed a barrage of explosions, Bakugo from his quirk, Iris with the aid of Caliber and her Sacred Explode.
This time, Pandora's actor's for twisted, and Vaelastraez was suddenly pierced by a black arrow as a skeletal sorcerer appeared. He bore a golden staff, and had a broad mantle that seamed to be made of the bones of some massive creatures. Bakugo didn't think it was that impressive of a form compared to the others he's seen from Pandora's Actor, until it spoke.
"This farce has gone on long enough. I tire of these games. Now, witness the glory, of AINZ OOAL GOWN!"
The staff glowed, streams of power shot out in all directions. Iris and Bakugo tried to dodge, but some of them impacted them anyway, flinging them about. Still, they pressed on, ignoring the pain. Bakugo tried to charge in from the left as Iris bore down from the right, only for waves of ice and flame to drive them back.
"You see now. How futile it all is. This is the form of my father; the Lord of the Tomb himself. In the end, you mortals are nothing but-"
"DIE!" Bakugo screamed, firing off his quirk again, as Iris shouted "SACRED EXPLODE!" Both their attacks cut off the speech and staggered their foe, and they charged in yet again. Just as Iris was about to deliver a crushing blow with Caliber, something gripped her heart, and she fell to her knees, gasping for breath. Her vision swam, and part of her saw Bakugo doing the same, retching and chocking as he clutched at his chest. Somehow, that was more painful than her own agony.
"All this effort, for naught. Did you truly think you could face the might of Nazarick, humans?" the Lich sneered as he raised a skeletal fist that pulsed with a sinister light. "No mortal can."
"Well what about a goddess?" Eris demanded, and lept from the shadows, her daggers slamming into the back of Pandora's Actor. He stumbled, and the goddess shouted, "SACRED TURN UNDEAD!"
The invisible fist gripping Iris's heart vanished, and she gasped and stood. Pandora's actor had shifted, this time to a massive six armed creature wielding a halbert.
"Goddess," the thing hissed. "I should have known. Well we have accounted for this."
"ACCOUNT FOR THIS, ASSHOLE!" Bakugo roared, and jumped at the bug monster. He was nearly skewered by it's weapon, only for Iris to interpose her blade. The creature was stronger than she, but by blocking her attack, Eris got another opening, circling around and stabbing at it again. When the creature swept it's weapon after the goddess, Bakugo and Iris attacked again. After a violent struggle, Pandora's actor fell, scorched by Bakugo's quirk, bleeding from Eris's daggers, and mauled by Iris's magic.
"This is not over," the Floor Guardian hissed backing away.
"I think it is." Iris raised Caliber, bringing it down in an arc to deliver the final blow. Instead of cleaving Pandora's Actor in half, a metallic tail snaked out, deflecting the blow.
"Well well," a smooth, cultured voice chuckled. "What have we here?"
Ice colder than even Wiz's spell ran through Iris' veins. She swallowed, taking a step back. Bakugo, sensing her worry, raised his axe in a guard position, his lips bared in a soundless snarl.
The Demiurge stalked from the shadows, his glasses glinting in the dim light. "The lost heir, in the flesh. You have caused problems for us. And heroes from another world," Demiurge purred. "That leaves only-"
More ice shattered, and Kirishima, Ashido, and Eris charged through. Instead of retreating, Demiurge smiled.
"And here we all are. Pandora, are they ready?"
The Generalisimo slowly stood, panting. "Ja. The Gottjager are ready, sent by the Godslayer."
"Godslayer?!" Eris gasped. "Kill them, kill them before-"
Demiurge suddenly threw a glowing glass sphere to the ground, and Iris sagged, as if her enchanted armor's full weight were dragging her down. Eris raised her hand, shouting, "Sacred Exorcism!" but nothing happened.
Demiurge laughed, shaking his head. "There will be no more magic here today. Nor shall there be any levels, World Class Items, or other trickery. We shall fight as we were born, with only machines to aid us. Of course, my machines are slightly better."
"What the fuck is he on about?" Bakugo growled, circling between Iris and Demiurge.
"Anti-magic zone," Iris panted, forcing herself to stand. Caliber felt dead in her hands, a simple hunk of iron instead of the Divine Blade. "Our magic. It's gone."
"Bakugo, we got trouble!" Kirishima called as he raced forward, Ashido at his side. "Wait, holy shit, those guys have-"
There was a sound like great curtains being ripped, then dozens thudding impacts on the ice and Kirishima's body, followed by thudding booms.
Demiurge laughed, withdrawing a metallic object that Iris had never seen before from his suit. "Indeed. The Gottjager are armed with what the Godslayer calls 'modern' weaponry. I quite like it." He raised the weapon, and Bakugo started laughing.
"Are you serious? Are you really serious?"
Demiurge grinned. "Of course. Never bring a sword to a gunfight." There was a sharp crack, and Iris cried out.
At the same time though, Bakugo let loose with an explosion, and Demiurge stumbled back. Something whined by Iris' head.
"There's a reason no one brings a gun to a quirk fight," Bakugo growled. "Kirishima?"
"Man, they got grenades. I can feel those," Kirishima said, his tone more that of a whine than anything resembling concern. "No AP rounds though, so I'm good. Mina, just stick behind me, let's deal with these clowns."
"How...this is impossible! You cannot use any magic or skills in an Anti-Magic zone!" Demiurge hissed, taking a step back as Pandora's Actor began to creep away from Bakugo.
"This ain't magic, you stupid son of a bitch," Bakugo laughed. "This is my quirk! Sero! Don't let Hans here get away!"
Pandora's Actor broke into a run, but tape shot out, wrapping him and then dragging him back to where Sero and Yunyun had arrived to the fight.
"How," Pandora's actor groaned. "I do not wish to die...mein vater, I-"
Yunyun plunged her dagger into the eye socket of the shapeshifters mask. He twitched, then lay still. Even as that played out, Bakugo attacked Demiurg, who was using both his gun and his claws and tail to desperately try to hold the boy at bay.
"How! What are you? Are you even human!?" Demiurge demanded as he desperately tried to escape from Bakugo. His demonic strength and agility were letting him evade some of the attacks, but he was clearly taking heavy damage. Bakugo, on the other hand, seemed to know exactly what to do, moving erratically and using his explosions and the smoke to hide himself.
"You don't know shit! The first thing they train us on is to how to fight some asshole with a gun!" Bakugo cackled. "That's hero course prep 101! And of course we're human, just like you!"
"I AM NO HUMAN!" Demiurge roared, drawing a hidden blade to slash at Bakugo and scoring a shallow cut on his chest. However, he also took a hit from one of Bakugo's explosions, which sent the demon flying.
"Nice try. Looks like this is the end of the line, four eyes," Bakugo laughed, striding over to the battered Demiurge.
"Not quite," the demon gasped, and pulled out a glowin cylinder. "You should pay more attention to your surroundings. Teleport."
Bakugo pounced just as Demiurge vanished, apparently out of Anti-Magic zone. Iris clanked over to his side, panting heavily from needing to move her heavy plate without the benefit of her skills. She sighed in relief as she stepped outside of the Anti-Magic zone, and looked around.
Between the two of them, Kirishima and Ashido had annihilated the Gottjager, which turned out to have been made up of heavily armed trolls, goblins, orcs, demons, and other monstrous races. Apparently, their strange and powerful weapons had been nearly worthless against Kirishima's quirk, and their armor had offered no protection against Ashido's acid.
"That bastard!" Bakugo growled, stalking over to Iris. "You OK?"
"Yes. But this is not over," Iris said, her expression grim. "Yunyun reported their fortress was nearly empty. We've defeated their army. The time to strike is now."
"Finally!" Bakugo laughed. "So what do we do?"
Iris glanced over at the others. The Crimson Demons mostly looked drained and exhausted as they excited the Anti-Magic Zone. Kirishima was being treated for minor injuries, and Ashido had produced enough acid that she'd burned her own skin, while Eris was unconscious. As a being of near pure mana, the Anti-Magic zone had hit her hard. Wiz and Vanir were still dealing with the remaining demons and undead themselves. Only Komekko looked to be recovering quickly, gulping down a hunk of bread and cheese.
"We go alone," Iris told Bakugo softly.
"What?" Sero said, looking up from treating Yunyun's wounds. "Don't be dumb! You two run off now, you'll just get yourselves killed!"
"Komekko, can you take us to the old palace?" Iris asked, ignoring Sero's objections.
Komekko slowly nodded, swallowing the last of her food. "If that is your will, Iris. It will be dangerous."
"We shall never have a better time to strike. Quickly, before Demiurge has a chance to recover or rally his forces," Iris ordered.
"As you will. Let this be finished," Komekko agreed, stepping to Iris and Bakugo's side.
"No, wait, don't-" Yunyun shouted, but then it was too late. Iris closed her eyes as Komekko took them to her old home.
They arrived in the old courtyard, but it wasn't the bright and shining place of marble Iris remembered. Now, the stone was black and grey, and icons of the Great Tomb adorned it instead of bright banners of Belzerg. But he was here, stumbling away from them, still wounded. The Demiurge. Her prey.
"DIE!" Bakugo screamed, launching himself forward and bringing his axe down in a wide arc.
Demiurge rolled away with a hiss, coming up on his knees and adjusting his glasses. "I didn't think you'd be this foolish. Well. This changes things."
"Yeah, cause now you die!" Bakugo sneered.
"I think not. GUREN! It is time!"
Behind them, the city suddenly erupted in flames as Gurn the Slime surged forth from beneath the stones. It was a monstrous creature, easily twenty feet tall, it's body made of liquid flowing lava, and it began to surge forwards towards the palace.
"I am immune to flames," Demiurge hissed as he backed away from Bakugo. "Can you say the same?"
Komekko turned towards Guren, frowning. "My queen. It has been my life's dream to see this land restored. Fare you well. I go now to be with my sister."
"Komekko!" Iris gasped. "What are you-"
"Come forth, magic of my soul! I grant you the power of my essence, my blood, my very will! Come forth, Crimson Magic, and consume all! EXPLOSION!"
A searing light roared from Komekko's mouth as the sky filled with a rainbow of dazzling lights. Iris gasped, jumping forward and grabbing Bakugo, then leaping for the shelter of the palace as Komekko wrought her last and greatest spell. The air rippled with power, and the earth bucked and trembled. Then, the blast came. A white light so bright that even looking away Iris cried out in pain from it's terrible beauty. The shockwave picked her and Bakugo up and tossed them like toys through the stone walls of the palace that shattered around them. The sound made Iris' ears pop and bleed and for a long while she lay amidst the ruins of rock and stone, dazed and unable to move.
Somehow, Bakugo got to his feet first, grabbing Iris and hauling her up. For a moment, his lips moved and she heard no sound. Then it all returned in a roar.
"-coming through that fucking portal!" Bakugo was shouting. "Demiurge is heading right for it!"
Blinking, Iris looked and saw that the palace had crumbled, but at its center somehow, impossibly, a portal stood. A great green swirling maelstrom of mana and power. Through it strode endless ranks of undead warriors dressed in glimmering golden plate. Demiurge was limping towards the powertal, despite everything, still alive.
"We have to destroy it," Iris snarled. "Otherwise, this is all for naught! That army will overrun Belzerg!"
"Right," Bakugo agreed. "You ready?"
Iris raised Caliber, took a deep breath and nodded. Then, together, they ran forward towards the advancing ranks of undead.
At first, they blitzed through the skeletons, Caliber slicing through their golden armor like it was made of cloth, while Bakugo's explosions shattered them to shards of bone and metal. But then the undead started to counter attack. Impossibly, each of them seemed to be armed with a divine weapon of some sort, from swords that crackled with lightning, to hammers that made the earth shake at their touch, to spears that when thrown multiplied into dozens of projectiles. Some of the blows were deflected by Iris' armor, but more bit into her and she was already wearied and wounded. She cried out in pain, but pressed on, firing off spells and forcing her way through.
She had just blasted a dozen undead to dust with a Divine Explosion when she heard a grunt and thump behind her. She turned to see Bakugo with an axe buried in his chest, his eyes glazing over with pain. The undead had closed in around them, and Iris realized that the blow had been meant for her.
"Fucker," Bakugo gasped. "Sorry. Guess I failed. Got...got one more in me."
"Katsuki!" Iris cried, fear driving a nail into her heart. No! Not again! She wasn't going to watch someone she loved die all over again!
"Get it done," Bakugo wheezed as the undead closed in. Then he turned towards the portal and jumped forward. "DIE!"
Bakugo's last explosion scattered the final rank of the undead, revealing the portal and Demiurge. Bakugo's axe went spinning through the air, taking Demiurge between the shoulder blades. He stumbled into the portal and vanished, even as more undead soldiers strode forth.
"NO!" Iris raged. She leapt at the portal, Caliber swinging down with all her might at the base. "DIE!"
There was light, and pain, and then all else faded. The next thing Iris knew, she was sitting in a circle of light in an endless void. Across from her sat Director Koizumi, a wide grin on his face.
Iris didn't hesitate. She leapt across the intervening space and her fist slammed into the gods chin. He flew out of his chair, slid across the circle of light, and vanished into the void.
"WHERE IS KATSUKI?!" Iris screamed, picking up the chair to use as an improvised weapon. "I SHALL NOT ALLOW ALL AROUND ME TO DIE AGAIN!"
She raged for long minutes, tossing about the two chairs and slamming her fists into the invisible barrier between the light and the void. All of her anger, all of her rage, all of her supposed power, proved to be completely impotent. At last, Iris dissolved into tears, sinking to her knees and burying her head in her hands. It didn't matter. None of it mattered. Everyone was dead. Even her.
"This wasn't what my life was supposed to be!" Iris wailed. "Where is the joy! Where is the adventure! The laughter, the smiles, the love! I have nothing! Not even ashes are left to me now!"
"Well, I guess that about sums up my current problem too," a weary girl's voice said.
Iris sprang to hear feet, spinning around to find a girl about her own age sitting cross legged in the pool of light. She had yellow ribbons in her dark hair, and was wearing some sort of strange uniform, composed of a white and blue blouse and skirt.
"Who...who are you?" Iris managed, her hands balling to fists.
"God," the girl replied. "But you can call me Haruhi."
"I have met many gods. What makes you special?" Iris demanded.
"Well, I'm an uppercase G myself," Haruhi replied. She extended a hand to Iris. "Haruhi Suzumiya. Chief Goddess, Comedy Division."
Numbly, Iris shook Haruhi's hand. Comedy division? "Well. I suppose you're the god of someone else's world then, My life has been anything but a comedy. A tragedy would be more appropriate. I have had nothing but war and sorrows."
"Yeah. That wasn't how this was supposed to work. You were supposed to be the imoto character in an isekai harem spoof," Haruhi sighed. "Heck, you were even supposed to be the strongest character in your universe."
"Much good it did me," Iris muttered. "The imoto? That was what Kazuma called me. And isekai...does that not mean 'another world' in Japanese? What is this you speak of, goddess?"
"Things are...complicated," Haruhi sighed. "Basically, I screwed up. Well, not just me, but I'm the one I suppose you should blame, considering I'm supposed to be the ultimate authority in your genre. I've spent two centuries trying to figure out a way to fix my mistake."
"Would that be the Lord of the Tomb?" Iris demanded, her eyes narrowing.
"Pretty much, yeah. Unfortunately, I'm the Goddess of Comedy, and Ainz is from some sort of villain protagonist power fantasy in Horror. He's been going around stomping my worlds, and there's not much I can do about it," Haruhi admitted.
"Are you not a powerful Goddess? Why can you not put a stop to this!?" Iris demanded.
"Oh, I tried. Nearly killed myself doing that. But I don't have any power over Ainz; he's outside of my domain. And one thing Comedy lacks is fighters as strong as the ones that the Tomb has. I mean, you're literally the most powerful fighter I have access to, except maybe Seiya, and you got stomped. Even with that Shonen boy's help."
None of that made much sense to Iris, but she rose to her feet anyway. "Then I demand you do something! Send me back! Let me fight again, and free my people! Pandora's Actor escaped from death! Do the same for me!"
Haruhi slowly nodded. "Ok, but you won't be going back to Belzerg. Not at first. I've cut a deal, and I want to read you in on it, but you're going to one of King Kai's planets."
"That is not what I want! I want to free my people, and...and to have Katsuki back! He is the only one who ever stood by my side in battle! How am I supposed to find another Shield such as him?!" Iris demanded.
"You fell for him, didn't you?" Haruhi asked with a heavy sigh. "You weren't supposed to like bad boy types."
"He is the strongest man I have ever met. The only one worthy to stand by my side, and help defend my people. Love has nothing to do with this," Iris spat, but inside her emotions were a turbulent storm even she couldn't understand.
"Well, the good news is, I'm sending you to a highschool AU. Going to have to find SOME way to get the comedy ball rolling again," Haruhi said, getting to her feet. "And don't worry, Katsuki Bakugo will be there too."
"Truely?" Iris gasped, her hand going to her chest as her heart pounded. "You shall...but no! You must send me back to Belzerg! We were close, so close, to finally freeing my people! I am the queen of Belzerg, you cannot-"
"No time will pass in Belzerg while you are gone, don't worry. But Iris, you just drove out Demiurge. The entire world is still full of monsters, demons, and worse. If you just go back on your own, you'll die again."
"Then what is the point?" Iris demanded, hot tears leaking onto her cheeks. "How can I save my people?"
"The school I am sending you to is a school for heroes. It's the one Bakugo attended, along with the other three you met. You might just find help there," Haruhi pointed out.
Slowly, Iris nodded. "Very well. I shall find heroes willing to help me reclaim my kingdom."
"Good plan. But Iris? Just...take some time to learn to laugh again. Be a girl. Have some fun. Live a little. The world you're going to, well, it's not totally safe, but it's a good one. Just...smile, OK? I'm the Goddess of Comedy. Without laughter, what's the point?"
Iris forced a grin on her face. "Very well. I shall learn to smile again, if I can."
"Great. And keep this quiet, OK? Just between the two of us," Haruhi said. "Super. Glad we had this talk. Well, good luck. Guess this is the reverse isekai I've been wanting…"
That last line was confusing, but Haruhi reached out, touching Iris' forehead, and she fell into a deep sleep.
As usual, she dreamed of blood and death. She wondered if she would ever dream of anything else again.
Author's Note:
This is the last flashback chapter. We have a special interlude with Da Chief and some DEEP LORE, and then it's back to your regularly scheduled wacky hijinks and existential dread.