Putting the Band Back Together

Izuku: It's 500 kilometers to Osaka, we've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of poke, it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses.

Kazuma: Hit it!

-The Isekaitus Brothers

"The first meeting of the Axis Church in Japan is now in session!" Aqua declared, and banged her gavel on the table.

Izuku put down his bag of chocolate flavored Doritos and sighed. He along with the rest of 1A were gathered in a corner of the lunch room, where Aqua had apparently decided she was holding court today. It had been two weeks since he'd come back to Japan, and things were settling down a bit. Well, at least as much as they could with a mercurial former goddess and a bunch of aliens. "Aqua, we agreed to eat with you, but I thought you wanted to talk about our quiz on Wednesday. Have you ever done any of the homework?"

"Huh? No, it's dumb, I don't like it," Aqua said.

"You're gonna fail~" Uraraka said in a singsong tone.

"Who cares, school is dumb and boring! I only come because it's lonely at home by myself," Aqua sniffed. Izuku saw Darkness roll her eyes, and had a pretty good idea other motivators were involved. "But this is serious! We need to start on our recruitment efforts! So far, only you guys and All Might have converted to the Axis Faith!"

"Aqua, why am I here?" Eris sighed. "I had my own cult."

"Well, because you're just sitting around like a couch potato, playing video games and doing nothing!" Aqua argued.

Eris groaned and pinched her nose in exasperation. "Only when you're over. Otherwise I'm actually studying so I can pass our classes. If you recall, I had decent grades when we were at that other school, and I'm not going to let them slip now."

"Well, then consider this a challenge to my junior!" Aqua proclaimed. "You can get your own church off the ground, Eris, I believe in you!"

"What's the point? I was a mortal before. I sort of like being one again. Maybe I'll find a cute boy and settle down with him," Eris said, folding her arms over her chest.

"Ooo, that's tough, the only boys in our class that are single are Iida and Kaminari," Ashido said, rubbing her chin. "Who do you like better?"

"That's not the point!" Aqua growled. "Kazuma, you explain this!"

"Look, it's simple. We all know that Ainz and-MMPH!"

Both Eris and Aqua had leapt on top of Kazuma, putting their hands over his mouth.

"Are you dumb?!" Aqua hissed. "Don't say his name! He could hear you!"

"Especially since he might not even know where this world is," Eris added. "So, kindly, say 'The Lord of the Tomb."

"But you said his name before," Kazuma accused, his voice rather muffled.

That made Aqua flush and jerk back as Eris glared at her. "Stick to the point!"

"Right, look. We all know that 'The Lord of the Tomb' and his flunkies are still out there. And, for some reason, Iris is still dead set on going back to Belzerg and confronting him. So, Aqua and I came up with a plan: We have to turn her back into a real goddess. You too, Eris."

"That's dumb," Bakugo muttered, popping a bite into his mouth. "You can't just turn someone into a goddess."

"Actually, you totally can!" Aqua said eagerly. "You just need enough worshipers, and a connection to the divine realm to sponsor you! I bet if I get enough worshipers here, the Chief will let me be a goddess again! Plus, I can totally still do most of my miracles with my quirk, even if it does tire me out."

"That does seem a viable plan," Iris said slowly, frowning. "But, why Aqua? Eris was the more popular goddess."

Aqua jumped up and looked like she was ready to strangle Iris, until Eris pulled her back down. "Well, Aqua's stronger against the undead. As a water and healing goddess, her powers are extra effective against the Great Tomb. I am, or, um, was, a Goddess of Fortune. I can help in a fight, and I can banish undead, but I'm just not as good as Aqua. Plus...well, I was already mortal once. This isn't as big a deal to me."

"And also Aqua will whine about it if Eris becomes a goddess again before her," Kazuma pointed out.

"That's nice and all, but how exactly are we supposed to start a religion?" Izuku asked. "It's not like people here will be all that impressed with a little bit of healing. There are plenty of similar quirks, even if Aqua's is stronger."

"About that. I actually looked it up," Kazuma said, holding up a copy of A Guide to Your Divinity. Where he had gotten one, Izuku didn't know, but he had a feeling he didn't want to ask. "You see, it just says that mortals have to offer offerings and devotion to their chosen god or goddess. So we're going to make Aqua into an idol singer."

Izuku blinked. "Come again?"

"Oh my God," Uraraka groaned, and rested her head in her hands.

"Goddess, actually," Aqua corrected. "But I think it's a super neat idea! I like the idea of being an idol!"

"Can you even sing?" Tokoyami asked, sounding completely incredulous.

"Duh," Aqua said, rolling her eyes. "I'm a great singer!"

"Yeah I have no idea," Kazuma admitted. "But I mean, that's not the important part, we can have her lip synch or something. She's a cute girl with a rockin' bod! That's all you really need to be an idol singer. The dancing and singing can come later."

"But I can sing!" Aqua protested. Everyone else, however, ignored her.

"I seriously doubt that will be enough," Izuku said with a sigh. "Idol singers really aren't that popular unless they're pro heroes too, and Aqua's a long way from that. Plus, what would her routine be? She'd need to be able to sing and dance well, and we'd need back-up singers and dancers, a band...I mean, I know Katsuki can play the drums, what about everyone else?"

"I can sing and dance!" Aqua wailed.

"I play guitar, I believe Kaminari does as well," Tokoyami offered. "Perhaps he would be interested. Though I don't know how much that will help unless we get Aqua some singing and dancing lessons."

"Alright, that's enough!" Aqua snapped. She jumped up on the table. "I'll prove it to you! Yaoyorozu! I need an instrument!"

From her table table a short distance away, Yaorozu blinked, turning in her seat. "A guitar?"

"Yes, and a microphone," Aqua said. "These people don't believe I can sing and dance!"

"That's because you're a clumsy idiot," Todoroki said from his place beside Yaoyorozu. Aqua swelled up, but Yaorozu pulled first an acoustic guitar, then a microphone headset from her navel and tossed them to Aqua.

"Knock yourself out. I suppose this will be amusing at least," Yaoyorozu said with a small grin.

"Hmph. What is this thing? Let me see…" Aqua played a few discordant notes on the guitar, making Izuku wince.

"Well, that rules out her playing her own instrument," Izuku sighed. "We really should-"

Aqua suddenly played a series of perfect notes, nodding to herself. "Right. Here we go!"

She then began to play a melody Izuku had never heard before, swaying in time to the beat, stepping a slow, mesmerizing dance. Somehow, it reminded Izuku of being in Royame, setting out from the village with Mei early in the morning to hunt for materials for her inventions.

Leaving in the morning, without a word to say

from my house into the world, in the light of day

I might seem courageous, but once the sun goes down

you'll find that I'm the biggest crybaby around…

As Aqua played and sang, Bakugo began to tap out a beat on the table before him. After a few moments, Yaoyorozu produced a drum kit and handed it to him, then pulled out a keyboard for herself, and began to play along with Aqua. With a grin, Ashido got up and began to dance in time to the beat below Aqua on the ground. From across the room, Jiro came over, swaying slightly to beat. Out of nowhere, she began to harmonize with Aqua on the chorus, her vocals blending perfectly with Aqua's.

Izuku could only stare in open mouthed astonishment as the lunch room fell totally silent as everyone watched Aqua perform. When she finished, Aqua grinned and bowed. "See? I can totally sing and dance!"

"Aqua," Kazuma said, his eyes nearly bugging out of his head. "Where did you learn to do THAT?"

"Learn?" Aqua blinked, tilting her head to the side as if the question baffled her. "You don't learn to sing or dance. You just do it."

"She's a muse of the arts," Eris said, her tone half reverent. "She...she still has it. That creative spark."

"That was incredible, Aqua!" Jiro cheered. "You have to write that song down for me! I love it!"

"Write it down?" Aqua wrinkled her nose. "I dunno. I just made it up."

"Oh man, I think I remember most of it. Quick, someone give me a pen and paper!" Jiro demanded.

Izuku dutifully passed Jiro his own notebook and pencil, and she quickly scribbled down the notes and lyrics to Aqua's performance. She held it up before her, nodding. "Right. I think this is most of it? Oh man, Aqua, you have got to start a band! You'll be a huge hit!"

"I," Aqua said dramatically, putting her hand to her chest. "Am going to become an idol singer. That way, I may once more be worshiped as the goddess that I am."

Several students from the support course or the general studies course who had previously been interested now began to look at Aqua as though she had some sort of mental illness. Izuku understood the sentiment.

However, the reaction from the Hero Course students was rather different.

"Are you really a goddess?" Mineta asked suspiciously. "You just look like a regular chick."

Aqua tossed her hair over her shoulder and gave the small purple boy a grin. "Well, you might not believe it, but though I am now a mortal, I was once Aqua, Goddess of Water of Healing, and leader of the Axis Church. I seek to reclaim my position, that I might once more lead the forces of good to triumph over the Lord of the Tomb!"

"Oh good grief," one of the general studies students said. "She's a chunni lunatic."

"DON'T YOU DARE DISRESPECT MY CULTURE!" Megumin roared jumping up on the table next to Aqua. "I was a goddess too you know! I still have access to my dark powers! Beware, or I shall reign Explosions down on you once more!"

Mineta seemed to consider this, then turned to Subaru. "I dunno. What do you think, man? She legit?"

"You know, I actually think she is," Subaru said, rubbing his chin. "I...I can almost remember her being a goddess, and opposing the Lord of the Tomb sounds right for her...I...maybe I remember him being afraid of her? I'm just not sure…"

"Duh, don't you remember Subaru?" Aqua demanded, hopping down as the buzz of conversation in the lunchroom resumed. "You were totally in class with us! You were there with Emilia and the others! You saw me fight Ainz, you know I can win!"

"I was? I do?" Subaru asked, frowning. "I can't remember…"

"So, what, we have to sign up to worship you or something?" Mineta asked.

Aqua grinned, reaching into her bosom and somehow pulling out a parchment and pen. "Yep! Just sign up here, and you'll be members of the Axis Church! You get a free, what did you call it, Kazuma?"

"Free Aqua nendoroid with each sign up," Kazuma said, coming over and putting a sealed cardboard box about 12 cm tall on the table by Mineta. "Wiz ordered them for us."

Minteta picked up the box, examining it. "Super cute doll of the Water Goddess, Aqua. Comes with one of 12 facial expressions and unique poses. Collect them all." Mineta studied the box, then shrugged. "What the hell. I've done worse." He scrawled his name on the parchment, which vanished into blue sparkles the moment he finished.

"Perfect! Welcome to the Axis Cult!" Aqua cheered. "What about the rest of you?"

"Will it help us fight the Lord of the Tomb?" Emilia asked.

"Yep! If I get my goddess powers back, I'll be super strong against dumb old boney and his stupid minions," Aqua promised.

That news got the rest of the Hero Course students to quickly line up to sign up for Aqua's church, even Naofumi.

"I'm loath to pledge myself to a so-called goddess, but I admire your capitalistic spirit," the other boy said, examining the nendoroid box he was given. "I take it you have to purchase the rest?"

"You get one free one for every five recruits you sign up!" Eris informed him. "Extras are only ¥5,000 each!"

"What, no, we we're giving those away," Aqua said. "I want my followers to worship me."

Eris rolled her eyes. "Aqua, you have to create scarcity to make yourself more desirable. If you just give them away, what's the point? Sure, you give them the first one free, but what if their friend has a cooler one? They'll want to get more, but it's random! They can trade or sell their extras, and we'll make sure some are rarer and more valuable than others. Plus, we'll have special editions, limited run ones that are golden, all kinds of stuff!"

"Now that is a properly capitalistic religion," Naofumi agreed. He gestured to his companions from Class 1C. "We'll all sign up."

"Midoriya, what Aqua nendoroid did you get?" Mineta asked, holding up his. "Mine's crying Aqua. She's pretty cute, but I like Nature's Beauty Aqua better."

"Er, I didn't check which one," Izuku admitted. 'Um, Mei, what did we get again?"

"Huh? I don't care, they're dumb," Mei said, looking up from Izuku's gauntlet which she'd been tinkering with. "Mineta can have mine."

"Here, I'm not really interested either," Izuku said. "You're, er, not going to do anything weird with them, right?"

"Please. I've grown past that," Mineta sniffed. "Besides, I have a girlfriend. Hey Felt, here, I got some extras, which one do you want?"

Mineta walked over to Felt, who giggled and took one of the extras, but didn't open it. "Save them, Mineta! Subaru says unopened original run nendoroids are always worth more on the secondary market!"

Things were just starting to get out of hand when All Might walked in. "Midoriya, just what is going on here?"

"All Might!" Aqua cried. She ran up, holding up a wrapped package. "I got something special for you, since you were my first follower in this world!"

"Um, Aqua's starting a religion, I think," Izuku explained. "She's, er, going to be an idol singer."

"Come again?" All Might said, taking the package from Aqua and blinking.

Mei walked over, giving Aqua a skeptical look. "I think she wants all her goddess powers back, so she's doing the same thing she did in Royaume. I think it could work, it did last time. I suppose this means we have to make Megumin a goddess again too."

"Absolutely not!" Megumin declared. "I like having sex too much!"

"I really didn't need to know that," All Might groaned as he opened the package. The contents turned out to be a shirt, which had a picture of Aqua on it, with the caption '#1 ONE AXIS FAN.' "Er, thank you, Aqua, but-"

"Wiz made it!" Aqua said excitedly. "Put it on, All Might! Come on, I want to make sure it fits! We had to get the extra super huge size, since you're just so tall and muscled."

All Might looked embarrassed, but Aqua seemed so happy and hopeful, he obliged, slipping the shirt over his head and blushing slightly.

"It's perfect!" Aqua cheered. "If you wear it, I just know I'll get loads of followers!"

"Woah, wait, All Might's joining this chick's religion?" a support course student that was walking by asked. "Dude, sign me up for that!"

"Of course!" Aqua agreed, producing yet another parchment. "Just sign right here, then get your nendoroid from Eris or Kazuma!" The student quickly signed, then hurried over to get their merch.

"Midoriya, do you think this is a good idea?" All Might whispered. "I mean...Aqua seems like a sweet girl, but having her running around as a literal goddess again…"

"Kazuma seems to think this is the best way to beat the Lord of the Tomb," Izuku sighed. "So, I mean, I guess?"

"Very well," All Might sighed. "I agree to er, help you promote your religion, Aqua. But only if you agree to offer your healings to those who need them freely."

"What?! Of COURSE healing is free! It is a Blessing, to be given to those in need!" Aqua proclaimed.

Eris sighed. "Sure I can't get you to change your views on that, Aqua? It really would be a great revenue stream…"

"No! Healings are free, and that's final! Next you're going to tell me you were going to charge people for my songs and stuff!"

"Um, that's sort of the point of being an idol singer, Aqua," Kazuma pointed out.

The look of horror on Aqua's face was comical. "What!? You can't charge people for art! No one owns art, it's an expression of beauty and creativity! Music was created by the gods to bring joy! Charging money for it...that's just, it's just...Midoriya, what's the word I'm looking for?!"

"Um, practicable?" Izuku offered.

Mei shook her head. "No, she doesn't think it's good. Horrible? Mean?"

"Yes! It is horribly mean!" Aqua huffed. "Everyone should get to enjoy my songs, no matter who they are! Now, if they want to make an offering or donation to the Axis Church, that's different."

"What if every song comes free with a one hundred yen donation?" Uraraka suggested.

"No, that is paying for it. You can't trick me! Art is free, and that's final!" Aqua declared.

"Well, it'll make you popular, if nothing else," Kazuma sighed.

Izuku shook his head. "Mei, let's just go to the workshop, we've still got 20 minutes until lunch is over."

"Great! I've come up with a new super cute baby for when we fight bad guys! I want you to help me test it out!" Mei agreed, and the two of them left the lunchroom, where even the reluctants in the general course were lining up to join the Axis church. It was starting again.

Helping Mei in the workshop was actually rather fun, and reminded Izuku of their time in Royaume when he'd helped her at the forge there. Here, however, Mei was working on far more advanced concepts, and her latest invention turned out to be a suit of powered armor.

"This is pretty neat, Mei, but I don't think it will be more useful than the suit you already made for me," Izuku said, examining the blue prints.

"That's because it's not for you, silly, it's for me! That way, I can still move around after I use my Explosion. Plus, this way I'll be able to help more," Mei explained.

"That's a great idea!" Izuku agreed. "What can I do?"

"There's a list of parts I need machined, you're pretty good at that, and there might be time to finish a couple," Mei said, giving Izuku a kiss on the cheek. "Thanks! I think our babies will be even cuter than the ones I make on my own."

"So long as you're both talking about contraptions and not the other kind," a voice growled, and Izuku blushed and turned to see Power Loader grimacing at them. "I warned you, Hatsume, I-"

"Yes, yes, Mr. Maijima, no explosions, I remember," Mei said dismissively. "Megumin is not here so we should be fine."

"Why they put you in the hero course I'll never know," Maijima muttered, shaking his head as he walked over to examine what Izuku was working on. "Hmph. Maybe you should be in my class too, Midoriya."

"Er, does he know?" Izuku asked, glancing at Mei.

"What, about the time travel and the various aliens and gods running around campus? Oh, I know," Maijima said with a sigh.

"Speaking of which," Izuku said, remembering his promise to help Aqua. "how would you feel about converting to the Axis church?"

"You try that on me and I'm kicking you both out for good. God damn. No wonder Aizawa's smoking again…" Power Loader muttered and stalked away.

Izuku blushed, but Mei smiled at him. "It is good you are trying to help Aqua. She has been very sad having to be human."

"Yeah, well, I figure if I have to join her wacky religion, at least my misery can have company," Izuku said, though he was at least half joking. It was sort of comforting, being friends with god. Even if she was Aqua.

"I have located the target, Gelb. Shall I proceed?"

There was no hesitation from the other side of the communicator. "No. Proceed, Braun. He is the best recruit we have found so far."

"Ja, at one," Kommandantin Viktoriya Ivanova Serebryakov agreed, and clicked off the device. It was known as a "cell phone" and was similar to the things she had used, long ago, when she had once been a mortal human serving in the Empire's army. The technology here was far more advanced than what she was used to, but she was adaptable. You had to be, after two centuries of combat.

Tucking the phone away in her purse, she walked quickly down the alley way, the padded heels of her boots nearly silent on the pavement, even without the use of a spell. She followed the scent of blood and death, knowing what she would find.

She turned a corner as a woman breathed her last, slumped in a pool of her own blood. The scent of excrement filled the air, but Visha did not wrinkle her nose. It was a familiar scent. She did not care about the killed, but rather, the killer.

The man who had just delivered the coupe de grace spun, raising his swords with a snarl. "You have stumbled upon that which you should not have."

"Nein, that is, no, I know where I am," Visha said, keeping her distance. Though he was but a mortal man, this human could disable her with a blow unless she very much missed her guess. These quirks were dangerous, even to one such as her. Still, one did not go hunting gods without learning both precaution and how to evaluate a threat. And Stain the Herokiller was a dangerous man.

"Who are you, some hero hopeful, out for glory?" Stain hissed, slowly circling towards Visha.

"That is far enough, Herr Stain," Visha said calmly, showing him the pistol she had drawn as she entered the alley. It was a variant of the mauser she was familiar with, though enhanced in the forges of Nazarick. Visha had killed two gods with such a weapon. Stain would not be so hard, so long as she was cautious. "I wish to talk."

Stain eyed the pistol and stopped his forward progress, but he shifted from side to side, clearly ready to lunge. He was close enough to be dangerous, but Visha was prepared. If he attacked, he would die. "Who are you?"

"You may call me Frau Braun. I wished to inquire, what is it you seek, Hero Killer?"

"To reform society. Are you one of those fools who wishes to become my disciple? This is a path I walk alone," Stain growled.

"Nein. I only wonder, do you know of the Tyranny of Gods, Hero Killer?" Visha asked.

Stain jerked back, clearly not having expected that line of inquiry. "Gods? There are no such things. Superstition, and nonsense."

"If only this were true," Visha said grimly. "The gods are quite real, Herr Stain. And they have taken an interest in this world. Soon, they shall seek to enslave it. Even now, they have infiltrated your society, and have begun to corrupt it."

"Society is already corrupt, we do not need to blame figments from mankind's past for it. Now, step aside, or I shall be forced to remove you," Stain hissed, tensing and raising his swords.

"And do you not wonder about the change in behavior of your idol, All Might?" Visha asked. The sudden shock on Stain's face told her she had scored a hit there.

"...what do you know?" Stain growled.

"A moment," Visha said, turning sideways. A man in a strange outfit with pipes like those on an automobile dashed around the corner.

"You! Hero Killer! At least, you shall be brought to justice! I am the Hero Ingenium, and-"

Visha calmly raised her mauser and shot the man between the eyes. He'd had his eyes on Stain, not her. A foolish move.

"Tsk. This place is getting crowded, Herr Stain. Will you come with me? I can take us somewhere we are less likely to be interrupted," Visha said, turning back to her quarry.

"You killed him with no hesitation," Stain growled. "Did you know him to be a false hero?"

"All heroes are false if they serve the gods, and that man's brother has been inducted to the vile cult of Ristarte," Visha replied. "He needed to be purged."

Even so, Visha felt the slight pang of regret she always did when slaughtering her fellow Man. It was a faint pang though, one she barely noticed. If mankind were ever to be free, they would have to cleanse their ranks of traitors.

After all, Visha owed a debt. Even if she could never pay it, she could at least follow orders.

"You are serious about this," Stain mused, eyeing the pool of blood forming around the fallen hero. "Very well. I shall listen. Where is this place you would take me?"

"Teleportieren!" Visha cried, and she and Stain vanished and appeared in a vacant warehouse her superior had secured.

"Warping quirk," Stain growled, backing away from her and eyeing his surroundings. "Hmm. Interesting."

Visha shook her head, a small smile on her lips. "No quirk. Magic, Herr Stain. I am not from this world."

"I doubt that. You sound German, though your Japanse isn't bad," Stain said, moving to a more open part of the warehouse, his eyes shifting about as he eyed the shadows.

"Ja. Das Vaterland was like your Germany. Khotya moya rodina byla blizhe k tvoyey rossii. Ah, but I have been many things now over the centuries, over many worlds. What I am now is Gottjäger. I seek to free humanity from the yoke placed on them by the cruel gods."

"Then the rumors I heard of All Might becoming religious are true," Stain mused. "A goddess did heal him." He suddenly smiled. "Then I know my path."

Visha suppressed a sigh. She had been so hopeful. But she saw Stain's muscles tense as he prepared to charge. She didn't waste time. He was watching the Mauser. A foolish move. He should have been watching her.

"Gezackter Blitz," Visha barked even as Stain moved. He was fast, and good, she would give him that. He dodged her attack easily. But she was already moving, soaring into the air and firing with her mauser. He dodged her bullets as well, moving behind cover. But it was time to end this.

Visha dove in, drawing her combat knife as she did so. Stain leapt out at her. He was good, he was fast, better than most, better than nearly any mortal man.

But Visha had killed more than one immortal. She opened her mouth, and exhaled. "Flammenatem!"

Stain screamed as the flames enveloped him. He tried a slash and a feint, but Visha blocked the slash and dodged the faint, then blew a hole in Stain's chest. She landed as he lay coughing and gasping, one lung gone. She didn't hesitate. She fired again, and he shuddered, then lay still.

"Best not to let you go to waste, then," Visha said, and drew out a wand. For she now served Nazarick. And to the Great Tomb, death was no barrier to service.

She should know. It was a debt she could never pay to Tanya. So Visha fought in her superior's crusade. Tanya was far more than just her commander now. And she would do anything to create the world Tanya dreamed of.

"Rise, Herr Stain. Rise and serve. Nazarick calls."

"And I answer," Stain's corpse moaned as it shuddered back to life, the holes in the body reforming. It was not a Wand of True Resurrection, those were saved for allies. No, merely a Wand of Greater Undeath. "What is the will of the Tomb?"

"Return to your task. Find these heroes, and slay them. Recruit followers and allies, those who will become Gottjäger, who will aid us in slaying gods. But remember: it is no longer All Might you serve."

"I serve for the glory of Ainz Ooal Gown," Stain said, bowing as he spoke the name of their master.

"Alles ist gut. If you have aught to report, call for me. Dismissed."

"I hear and obey," Stain replied, and lopped off, faster and more deadly than he had been in life.

Visha allowed herself a smile. One step closer to repaying her debt. Now, to see what else Tanya needed. It was not for the glory of Ainz, Visha served. But for her oldest and closest friend.

The woman who had given everything that Visha might live again.