Chapter 3: I am sorry
I returned to her hut the following day. She seemed to think that somehow ignoring me would make me leave. She was wrong. I usually lacked patience, but for her, I would wait. I could wait her out forever if that is what it took. I sat there in silence as she tended to her herb garden. Her hair had still been up from the previous night. The sun was high and the day was hot. Beads of sweat rolled down her slender neck. A sheen of sweat covered her forehead. A slight tinge of pink colored her skin; from the heat. I wanted to touch her more. My fingers were starting to forget the feel of her skin, and I desperately needed to be reminded of it.
"You are still angry with me." I'd said.
She said nothing, she continued picking her herbs. Her stubbornness was amusing, to say the least. I took a step forward and she froze, looking over her shoulder.
"Do not take another step towards me you brute."
I smiled. She was trying to pretend to be strong. I continued on. She shot up to her feet. No doubt ready to give me a piece of her mind.
She poked my chest. "Why you-"
I grabbed her finger, and she quickly pulled her hand away.
"I am sorry."
The words felt foreign leaving my lips. It had happened almost as if it were a reflex. I had never said them before this moment. To a mortal woman at that. She seemed shocked. I looked down at her. She was so small that I towered over her. Most mortals had a smell lingering around them. It was a smell I knew all too well. The smell of death, but not her. It was a sweet smell that I could not quite put my finger on. Even covered in sweat like this, she was still intoxicating.
She cleared her throat, stepping away from me. "I do not accept your apology."
I walked towards her, backing her against a tree, and trapping her with my arms on either side of her.
"Why not? I have apologized."
She wrapped her arms around herself. "That is not how that works. You called me a whore Sesshomaru."
"I called you no such thing. I asked if you were a whore."
Her eyes narrowed. "Why would you ask a woman that!? Do I seem like a whore to you!?"
"You are unlike any other woman I have ever met. I asked out of curiosity. That is all. Most mortal women in Thebes are whores. I am sure you have seen them before the war started. There are some who linger in the streets even now. Hoping to pick up some unfortunate man to take them away from all of this ruin."
She stared at me. I could see the realization washing over her. She realized that I was right, but she said nothing and turned her back to me. I was right and she would not admit it.
"I meant nothing by it," I said softly.
She paused for a moment, but she still said nothing. Her thin dress was damp with sweat and beginning to stick to her skin. You could see just how slender her body was. Moments such as this I was thankful that she lived away from the town with men, and their prying eyes. I set my hands on her shoulders and she went tense again. Was she not used to being touched, or was she not used to being touched by a man? She took that moment to sidestep me.
"Why do you keep touching me?" she asked quietly.
It seemed to be a genuine question.
How innocent.
"I have only done so twice."
"Still. That is one too many times. You have yet to ask my permission to touch me."
She turned her head from me, trying to hide her blush.
"Then may I touch you?"
She seemed surprised that I had asked but brushed my hands off of her shoulders, saying nothing.
"Do you think I am my father?"
Her lips pressed into a tight line.
"I do not fault you for that."
"Why?"
"I do not understand what you mean. I am his son. I cannot blame-"
"No. I mean why do you visit me like this? Why are you kind to me? You are the God of war. You are not supposed to care about mortals. Or are you still using me to quiet what is up here?" she said tapping her temple.
She doubted my intentions. Rightfully so, I was still unsure what my intentions were. Only that they were not disrespectful.
"I do not care about other mortals. You are different than they are."
"I do not want to be used by you. It is no different than what the other Gods do to the rest of my kind."
"Yes. I admit that is how it started out. However, it is your company that I have come to enjoy."
She looked at me. I could tell she was unsure of whether or not to believe me.
"You do not have to believe me, but it is the truth. As I said, I do not lie. I do not see the point in it."
Her features softened. "Why me?"
"I do not know why it is you. Only that it is you."
"I see."
She wiped her forehead, fanning herself with her other hand.
"You need to cool down."
She nodded. "There is a river downhill, right through those trees. I will go there soon."
My eyes widened. "A river? Is that where you bathe?"
She nodded. "I do. Is something wrong with that?"
"What if someone were to see you? What if men are watching you."
"You are making excuses. I told you no one comes here. The river runs down the mountain and it runs off the cliff into the ocean. The mountain is at my back, and I am surrounded by trees. The only way to reach it is by coming up that hill and passing my hut. No one here is going to do that."
"If men that are not from here happen to come through this town?"
She folded her arms. "Why would anyone come here?"
"I have watched you, mortals, fight over land time and time again. Soon someone else will claim this one. There will be new people in these lands eventually. Then what?"
She threw her hands up in the air. "Then I will pack up my things and move to a place where no one knows me."
I pinched the bridge of my nose.
"That is what I am suggesting."
"Yes, but it has to be my choice Sesshomaru, you do not get to tell me what to do. Much less tell me where to live."
"This is for your own Good. You will appreciate it once you have seen what I have planned. You will be thanking me."
"I do not need to thank you, because you will be leaving this matter alone."
"I will do no such thing," I called over my shoulder.
She continued to call after me, but I kept on. I had work to do.
Several days had passed since I had last seen him. I could not help but wonder what he was doing. Whether or not after his interest in me had finally worn off; and had been given to some other mortal woman. It was not jealousy that I was feeling, just curiosity. Those several days I would peek through the window to see if he was skulking around somewhere waiting for me to tell him to come in, but he was not there. I could at least admit to myself that his company was… nice. I was alone here. It felt good for someone to not be afraid of me, who did not think that I was a monster. I suppose all good things must come to an end. Or so I had thought. Suddenly there was a knock at the door. I went over to it, opening it. It was him. He always looked so different when he did not wear his armor. Still, even wearing simple robes like this. He looked like something out of a painting. Or a statue sculpted by the most accomplished artisan. His hair favored starlight. His face was possibly the most beautiful I had ever seen. Despite being the God of war, there was not a single scar on him. At least from what I could see. I stepped aside, letting him inside.
"I need you to pack your things." he'd said.
I closed the door. "Where have you been?"
My question seemed to surprise him. Had she been waiting for me to come back?
"If you pack your things I will be able to show you."
"You cannot disappear for several days and then show up here in the middle of the night, ordering me to do things without any sort of explanation."
"You cannot stay here."
I threw my hands up in the air. "Why? I have been fine all this time."
"The mortals left in this town are either dead or have left. You will be alone here."
I wrapped my arms around myself. "I have been alone for a long time. I will be fine. I am fine. Besides, I cannot leave my herb garden behind."
"I have brought a trunk for your things and pots for your herbs."
"Well, you're just very prepared aren't you."
"You sound displeased."
"I am. You do not get to barge in here and demand things of me. Sesshomaru why are you doing all of this? I want the truth."
"This hut and this dirt hill are not good enough for you. You deserve nicer things. I wish to give those things to you. You say that you have always been alone, but anyone with eyes can see that you are not happy being alone. This is the only time I have demanded anything of you. There will not be another time."
"I have always lived like this. I am content like this. I do not need any more than this Sesshomaru."
He leaned against the wall. "You say you do not need any more than this. How would you know that if you have never had more? Contentment does not equate to happiness."
"I do not want your handout Sesshomaru."
"These are gifts for you Kagome. Not a handout."
He rarely said my name. This was only the second time he had.
I put my hands on my hips. "What do you expect in return for these gifts?"
He reached out, grabbed me by the wrist, and pulled me to him. It had caught me by surprise. I froze. I always did when he was this close, or when he touched me. He leaned down, stopping only inches away from my face.
"I want for nothing." He whispered. "Only to give you things."
"So that one day you may take them away?"
"You said that I was not a monster. So why do you assume that I would do such a monstrous thing?"
I had nothing to say. He released me. Walking outside, he returned with the trunk he spoke of. As well as a crate of plant pots.
I folded my arms. "I still have not said that I would go with you."
He simply looked at me but said nothing. He brushed by me and began to pack my things into the trunk. I did not have much, but it was a rather large trunk. He had my things packed in a matter of minutes. Next were my herbs. I followed him out into the garden. I watched him dig them out and place them into the pots. It was a site to see. The God of war practically doing chores. He carried the trunk out of the front door. Next, each plant pot one by one. I followed him outside to see where he had put them. I stood at the top of the hill. Whether it was day or nice, the gold of his chariot never shined. I looked into my hut. It was bare. Only the curtains and wooden furniture were left behind. He came back up the hill stopping in front of me.
"You have also not said no, and you have watched me pack your things." He held out his hand to me. "Come."
I looked down at his hand, then back up at him. He was right when he said that I was not happy with being alone. I took his hand and he led me to the chariot. I had only ever heard stories about them; the Hippoi Areioi. They were much bigger than any normal horse I had ever seen. Each was a different color, but each was equally majestic. He helped me onto the chariot. The trunk and pots were tied down with a net and ropes. He stepped up behind me. I stood between him and the reins. He gripped them, wrapping them around his wrists. He whipped them, and they took off. I fell back into his chest as they flew to the sky. I held onto his arms for dear life. My hair whipped around wildly. I could feel my heart pounding inside my chest. I was afraid I would fall out.
"I will not let you fall," he whispered next to my ear.
They had slowed down, so the ride had become easier. I felt one of his arms slip around my waist.
"Where are we going?"
"Another town far away from here."
We had been flying for quite some time. She had not let go of me since we'd flown up into the air. She gripped my arms and pressed firmly against me. I was grateful for her fear of heights. It was the reason for our prolonged closeness. She was so small. I could feel her heart pounding, it vibrated throughout her entire body. I could see the town off in the distance. I smiled to myself. She was afraid of something as simple as heights but did not fear me. The God of war. What a peculiar woman.
"Brace yourself," I told her.
The chariot shook violently. Her feet left the chariot floor, but only for a moment. That was enough to frighten her. She quickly turned around, latching her arms around me. If this was how she was going to behave, I would take her for chariot rides much more frequently. We landed more gently than the ride itself. We had stopped moving but she had not realized it. I looked down, and all I could see was the top of her head. She had her face buried in my chest. I smiled, standing there watching her. I wanted to stand like this for a bit more. Unfortunately, she slowly pulled away from me and looked around. Stopping once she had seen it.
She looked up at me with wide eyes. "Is this…" she trailed off.
"Yes. It is yours."
I watched her step down from the chariot. As she took it all in. I had found a town. It was quiet and tucked safely away from the ravages of war. I would make sure that it would stay untouched. The sea sat at its back. The mortals here seemed to be honest and friendly enough. They would not shun her nor call her a witch. I had this house built a safe enough distance away from the cliff. She would appreciate the view, and there was still enough land with rich soil. Her garden would thrive here. I went over to her, taking her by the hand. I took her inside. The house was much larger on the inside. It was entirely made of marble. It had been built well. The furniture was made out of dark oak as well. It was money well spent. The more money I threw at the mortals the faster they worked. Her hand slipped out of mine and I missed the warmth of it. She went up the stairs, and I followed after her like some lost dog. She had found the bath.
"The ocean is close. You may take your water from there, boil it, and bathe with it. You will no longer need to bathe outside. Your front door has proper locks on cross bolts on it. Lock it, whether I am coming or not."
She smiled walking past me, and again I followed after her. She had found the bedroom next. She had a proper bed with pillows and blankets, and places to store her clothes and books. She turned to me, her cheeks slightly red. I was beginning to recognize what her different shades of red meant. She was embarrassed. She liked it here and was trying to find the nerve to say thank you. I took a lock of her hair, twirling it between my fingers leaning in close.
"You do not have to thank me. You are welcome." I said, and let her hair slip from my fingers. "Get settled. I will take care of everything."