Chapter 5: Continuous Faults
It had been a little over three days since I had last visited her. I had made my way back to Mount Olympus. I had confined myself to my room. I stared out the window. Looking out the night sky, as the clouds slowly passed by. This is all I had down for these few days. It took all of my strength to not go and rip that boy to pieces. I knew what this was. I had seen it before. The instant connection between two people. The shared familiarity, and lingering looks. They were each other's half. I had unknowingly delivered them to one another. It was selfish of me to not want them together, but I did not want her with anyone. I would not get in her way, but I would not tell her the truth either. There was a knock at my door. I was grateful for the interruption.
"Come!"
I listened to the door open and close. I did not need to look to know who it was. I could hear the light clicking of heels and the jangling of the jewelry.
I sighed. "Aphrodite. What do I owe this pleasure? Or am I to believe you are a glutton for punishment? Have you come to enjoy my rejection?"
She came in front of me, getting on her knees hands clasped in her lap. A pained look on her face.
How pitiful.
"Who is she?"
I raised a brow. "She?"
She set her hands on my knees. "The woman who has bewitched you. The woman who… you have deemed more beautiful than me. The one who stole you from me! You were to be mine. I am to carry your children, but at every turn, you find fault with me. What have I done for you to begrudge me so?"
She desperately gripped my thighs. I pushed her hands aside.
"That is why you are here because your ego is bruised, and to sate your own curiosity. She stole nothing from you. I was never yours to begin with."
"Why Ares? Why do you hate me so much? What have I done to deserve such treatment from you? I have only ever wanted to please you."
I leaned forward peering down at her. "You are vile and crass. You are too caught up in your reflection to notice anything else going on around you. You think that your looks can solve any problem you have. Overall you are just vapid and shallow, and not worthy of my time. I will never care for you. You will never carry my children."
Her eyes glossed over. The rims of them became red.
Hand over her heart. "Who are you to judge me?! You are a monster! The only thing that matters to you is violence and bloodshed. You are too afraid to get close to anyone so you bury yourself in it. Always looking for your next war. It is your addiction. Whoever this woman is, she will never return your feelings. She will see you as you truly are. An unloveable monster, who does nothing but take and destroy."
"Yes, I take. It is in my nature. No, it is my birthright... I take whatever I please and I will continue to do so. I will continue to take everything I please. Everything except for you. I will always be out of your grasp, and that will always burn you."
Her face dropped. She rose to her feet, not taking her eyes off of me. I leaned back into the chair. As menacing as she tried to seem, she would never be frightening, not to me. She raised her hand, swinging it. I caught it, grabbing her by the wrist with ease.
"If you ever raise a hand to me again. I will do much worse than this." I said, snapping her wrist.
"AHHH!" She cried out.
She held her wrist, cradling it against her chest running out of the room. Those who do not hear will feel, and she was going to learn that I was not to be trifled with. Especially when I had to say no one too many times. I turned my attention back to the window. The sun was beginning to rise. I was going into the fourth day of having not seen her. I could not do this for much longer. I was beginning to waver. I gripped the arms of the chair. I had already made up my mind.
I needed to see her.
It was a hassle having to hide my chariot and such on the outskirts of the town. Mortals knew better than to put their filthy hands on it. Here I did not want to be known as Ares. I walked through the town. I could feel their eyes on me. Mortal women and their jealous husbands. I could hear them gossiping. Wondering what my name was. Whose husband I was. As well as how lucky my wife was. I ignored them all, carrying on. I had finally reached the house. I could hear her laughter coming from behind the house. She was in her herb garden no doubt. I went around the side, stopping when I heard another voice. It was him, that boy. I peered around the corner. The two were laughing. He sat too close to her for my liking. I could see the way he looked at her. It made my blood boil. I came out of hiding and she was surprised to see me. It slipped my mind that she was possibly still upset with me.
"Sesshomaru."
I sat beside her, my thigh touching hers. I missed hearing her say my name.
"Kagome."
I brushed the stray hairs out of her face, her cheeks turning red. I looked over at the boy and I could see the irritation on his face. If he wanted her, he would have to fight for her, but I was not someone who lost; ever. I took a lock of her hair, bringing it to my lips and kissing it. Her cheeks only reddened more.
"These past few days have been lovely, my lady. I hope to grace your company another time." he'd said.
He waved to her. glaring at me before he left. She quickly turned to me. I leaned forward, her nose brushing against mine. A slight gasp left her lips.
"What do you think you are doing?"
"Visiting you. Or has that job fallen to him now?"
She tried to push me away, but I did not move.
"Do not make assumptions, Sesshomaru."
"You told me to leave."
"Yes! For that day. Not for almost four days!"
I smirked. "Does it bother you that I have been gone this long?"
She started at me. There was something that she wanted to say, changing her mind at the last moment.
"I do not wish to talk about this."
"Stop avoiding the question Kagome."
She tried to get up but I grabbed her wrist, pulling her back down. Causing her to fall on my lap. She tensed and her back straightened. I grabbed her by the small of her back. Slipping my other arm around her waist so she would not run.
"Stop it," she whispered.
I placed my hand on the back of her neck, resting her forehead on mine. Her breathing was slow. She gripped her dress in her hands.
"Is this how you let him touch you?"
She pulled away from me. Only having seen her face did I regret saying what I had. She stepped back from me. Her eyes had glossed over. Had what I said hurt her that much?
"I am so-"
"Is that what you think of me? That I let men touch me as they please?"
I could hear the tremble in her voice.
"I am sorry. I did not mean to offend you. My temper got the better of me."
"I do not want your apology." She said storming away.
I followed after her. She tried closing the door in my face, but I managed to slip through.
"I do not wish to see you or speak to you."
"I am not going to leave."
"Why!? You have done so many times before! Or are you here to keep an eye on me? Make sure that no one gets close to your possession!?"
"I did not say that I owned you. I do not own you Kagome."
"Your behavior says otherwise." she bit out.
"He is one of the only two friends that I have made here, and you drove him away. You say that I should not be alone. Yet you try your hardest to isolate me."
"He wants to be more than your friend, and it seems that you share the same feelings."
She threw her hand up. "What is so wrong with that?"
"He cannot have you!"
"Why not!? That is not your decision to make."
"BECAUSE YOU ARE MINE!"
Her face dropped and her shoulders slowly sank.
"I knew this would happen." She whispered. "You Gods are all the same. I should have known better. You do not give and expect nothing in return. You only take. You think you own me now. You are wrong. You can keep all of your gifts. You can take it all back. I do not want it, any of it."
I put my hands up. "Wait, that is not what I meant. Please let me explain."
"No! You have said enough. I will take only what I came with and leave. I will find my way back."
"Wait! You do not have to leave. I will go. You stay here. Please."
I sounded so different. So, whiny. Like I needed her… then the realization dawned on me. I did need her. I did not want her to go away. She just stood there arms folded and chest heaving. Her skin was flushed from anger.
"What will make you stay?"
Her shoulders relaxed slightly. "The truth."
"You are not a possession. I do not own you. I do not expect anything from you in return for what I have given you. It is yours. You are not indebted to me. Yes, there are certain… things I want I will not take them from you by force. I want you to want to give me those things of your own volition. I meant what I had said. It is your company I enjoy. I should not have called you mine when you clearly are not. I will not touch you without your permission. I will not get too close without your permission. I apologize to you Kagome. Truly. So please, do not be angry with me."
Her arms dropped slowly. She seemed to be calming down. She averted her gaze to the floor.
"I did not mean what I said… about wanting the same things as him. I said those things because I was upset with you."
I relaxed. Hearing those words was a relief.
"What is it you feel for him?"
I could sense her hesitation.
"I enjoy being close to him. He feels familiar. As if I had known him my entire life. He fills the empty feeling I have when you are not here."
"Do you really not want more with him?"
She shook her head. We stood there a few feet away from one another. The tension filled the space between us.
"Do you wish for me to leave?"
I could feel a tightness in my chest, as I waited for her response.
"Stay." She whispered.
I went to move, but I stopped in my tracks remembering my own words. I would not get close to her without her permission.
"Come closer," she whispered.
My body moved on its own, quickly going over to her. Stopping only an inch away from her. I looked down at her, while she looked up at me. Her cheeks were a deep red. She reached out and touched my chest, resting her head on my chest and surprising me. I was going against every fiber of my being by not touching her. She moved closer, wrapping her arms around me. She was so small and so warm, and she smelled so sweet. How was it possible that this small mortal woman was able to reduce me to this?
"I do not like arguing with you." I heard her say.
"Nor do I."
"You can touch me," she said quietly.
I wrapped my arms around her, burying my nose in her hair; I inhaled deeply. Unconsciously I began to run my fingers through her hair. It was as if my body was moving on its own. I just wanted to touch her, it did not matter where. I did not stop there. I grabbed the back of her thighs, lifting her and wrapping her legs around me. I smirked at her blush, burying my face into the crook of her neck. Kissing her neck and collarbone. I could feel her head leaning back. Her breathing was quiet and shallow. I wished she would stop me if it came to that. I fear I would not be able to do it alone. I held her close by the waist and walked her up to the bedroom laying her down. She was beautiful. She lay there looking up at me. Hair fanned out all around her. I could see she was tense. She was not ready. She did not want this. She was listening to her body and not her mind… or her heart. I balled up my fist, digging my nails into my skin. Hoping the pain would distract me. Quickly, I turned away from her, trying to slow my breathing.
"Sesshomaru?"
"I'm sorry. I must go."