Chapter 8: Confessions

I had spent every waking moment with Sesshomaru. He had kept his promise about not leaving me again. He was never more than a few feet away from me, and that made me happy; more than happy really. We went to town. He helped me with my garden. He'd managed to find some new dresses that hid most of the marks he continued to leave on me. For a while he only left marks where no one could see, but now that the weather was starting to get cold. I'm sure he would stop. Part of me did not mind. Part of me wanted them. I enjoyed any and everything that had to do with him. Even moments where we just sat in silence. I enjoyed spending time with him. I wanted to keep him close... always. I had never wanted anyone this way. We were a real couple.

"Are you alright? You seem to be lost in thought." He said.

I looked up at him. "No, I was just wondering where Hojo was." I lied.

I regretted saying his name the moment I had. I hope Sesshomaru will not be angry.

"Hn."

That Hn, was not monotonous like his others, but an irritated one.

"You do not like him,"

"That much is obvious," he said.

"Why?"

"He wants you to be his."

"Why does that upset you?"

"I will tell you the answer to your question. If you tell me what it was that you were really thinking about."

I could feel myself blushing. He was starting to be able to read me more and more. I looked away from him.

I knew why it upset him. Part of me just wanted to hear him say it.

"It seems we both have secrets," he whispered in my ear.

It sent a shiver up my spine. I could feel his lips on my neck. His hands gripped my hips.

"Sesshomaru," I whispered. "We are outside."

"I will not take anything off. I just wish to feel you."

His hands found their way to my breasts. I leaned against him. He slipped his hand under my dress. Before he could touch me, he suddenly stopped pulling his hands away. I opened my eyes looking at him, but he was looking straight ahead. I followed his gaze and I froze. It was Hojo. How long had he been watching us? I quickly stood up, going over to him.

"Hojo. I-"

"Lady Kagome, why would you… and with him?" He bit out. "Do you not know what he is? Who he is? The things he has done? He is evil… you are unmarried!"

"Hojo-"

"Come with me. It's not too late. We can still fix this." he pleaded.

"Hojo... I cannot."

"Don't you know how I feel about you? I know you feel it too, I can make you happy. We are supposed to be together."

I sighed. "You only feel this way because you are my half."

He grabbed my hands and held them tightly. "You see! I knew it. You could feel it as well. We are meant to be together. You and I are meant to be. I cannot be in this alone. I know you feel something too."

"You're right. There is something that pulls me to you… but I cannot leave him alone. My soul calls for you, but my heart, my mind. Every other part of me wants him Hojo."

"Do you love him?"

Hojo I-"

"Do you love him?"

"I do," I said quietly.

His hands dropped. The look on his face hurt me. I didn't mean to hurt him. It was the last thing I wanted to do. I wanted to hug him, but I stopped myself. His eyes were on the floor.

"I see," he said softly.

He turned from me, walking away. I watched him disappear down the hill. I turned back to Sesshomaru. He hadn't left his spot under the tree. I finally had to admit it to myself. I love him. At some point, I was going to have to admit it to him as well.

I sat across from Sesshomaru. I read my book quietly and he sat and watched me, as he usually did. I sighed, putting my book on the table, and looking up at him.

"What is wrong?"

"You knew Hojo was watching us, didn't you?."

"I did."

"Why would you do that Sesshomaru?"

"He needed to be taught a lesson. He must know when he has lost. He overstepped. He did not say that you were his, but he was staking his claim on you."

I folded my arms. "Lost? What is this game? Am I some prize to be won?"

"We have known one another for only a short time, but in that time I have realized something. In all of my millennia, I have never felt this way; about any being. Human or God. To me, you are a prize. Your value is extremely high. Not because of your powers, your body, or your beauty, but because of who you are, Kagome. So, yes. You are a prize, and I have won. That boy needs to understand that. I will not give you to him. You are mine and I am yours. If you think I think of you as some possession, then you own me as well. Mind, body, and soul; because I will never belong to anyone else. I will always be yours; entirely… because I love you."

My arms dropped slowly. I did not know what to say to him. Here I was, on the cusp of starting an argument. Yet all he was trying to do was confess his love to me. For the first time since I met him, I saw an unfamiliar look in his eyes; worry.

"I…"

His shoulders sank. "You do not love me back."

His eyes landed on the table. He was the God of war. He was not supposed to look so defeated.

"I do."

His hope-filled eyes shot back up to my face.

"What?" he asked quietly.

"I love you Sesshomaru. I just… I did not know how to tell you. I only realized how I felt about you recently. Truth be told I was afraid. That you would not return my feelings. There is this lingering doubt in the back of my mind, that I was only something fleeting for you. One of your many conquests, but it has gone too far for me to worry about it now… because I love you. You see yourself as this monster, but you are not. You are anything but that. You are so much more. You are the man that I love. You are caring, helpful, and at times jealous; but you are so wonderful. From your soft whispers to the warmth of your embrace and the fire I feel when you touch me… I am… yours. I do not care for my half, or whomever else the Gods have set in my path. It is simply you and I. Nothing; no one else. You are my home… you are my person, and I love you."

It was his turn to be shocked. I had never left him speechless before. I could feel myself panicking. Had I said too much? Had I said the wrong thing? I had so many questions.

"You love me?"

He seemed to be in disbelief.

"I do."

He kept his eyes on me. He stood, making his way around the table. He got on his knees, looking me in the eyes. He took my hands in his kissing the backs of them. He rested his head on my lap. This big powerful God was so vulnerable before me. I put my hand under his chin, making him look at me.

"I am not worthy of you," he said.

I cupped his cheeks and kissed his lips softly.

"You are more than worthy."

He stood, grabbed my waist, and held me in his arms.

"I wish to hide you away from the world and keep you to myself. To fill you with my children, and wait on you, hand and foot," he whispered into the crook of my neck. I could feel myself blushing. He picked me up, and carried me up the stairs, heading for the bedroom. My heart was pounding, I knew what was coming next.

I lay on his chest exhausted. I was spent. While he was perfectly fine. I felt him kiss the top of my head.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

I smiled. "As of right now yes. I am sure tomorrow I will be singing a different tune."

He chuckled and it vibrated in his chest.

"You wish to fill me with your children remember?" I asked looking up at him.

He smiled. "I believe I just did."

I felt my face get hot.

"Do not blush." he'd said. "You started this." he joked.

"I love you," I said seriously.

He looked me in the eyes. "I love you. The love I have for you knows no bounds. It is everlasting."

I bit the inside of my cheek. "Even after I am gone?"

I could see a pained look in his eyes. "That is not something I want to think about."

I laced my fingers with his. "It is inevitable Sesshomaru."

I watched him look up at the ceiling. "After you, there is no one else. There never will be; only you. There is no room in my heart for anyone else. Together or not, in life or death. It is you."

I sighed.

I wish sometimes fate could be lenient.

"I will die happily knowing that you will be the last thing that I see."

I could feel him tensing up under me.

"I did not mean to ruin the mood... but uncomfortable conversations are necessary Sesshomaru."

"I do not want to think about a time when I will be without you."

"I know but, still," I said softly. "You will be fine without me."

His hold tightened around me.

"That is where you are wrong Kagome."

"Sesshomaru... one day the pain of losing me will not ache much. You will not weep, and your heart will not grieve. You will be at peace and move on."

I saw his jaw clench. "I will do no such thing."

I sighed. "Do not hate the world once I am gone. Do not let your heart harden. They did not take me from you. Time is to blame... time is a thief. Do not let your sorrow consume you. The grief you will feel for me. Is proof that you loved me. That I was once yours. That you are capable of loving and being loved. No matter how short-lived it may have been."

"You ask me to be kind to a world without you. To a world that has always forsaken me."

"Even if they have never seen you. I have always seen you. Since that very first day. Show them the you, that I know. Not Ares, but Sesshomaru."

He flipped me onto my back kissing me down to my navel. He looked up at me from between my legs.

"Enough of this depressing talk."