Chapter 11: Him
My chest heaved up and down. As I tried to catch my breath. Each time I sucked in the air, the tighter my chest felt. A nightmare. That is what this must have been, I lied to myself. That was the only possible reason I could come up with. As to why Hojo would do something so terrible like this. My delusion was shattered before it could even fully form. His yelling snapped me out of it.
"You dared to touch her!?" he yelled.
"I did not fuck her if that is what you are asking. Besides, it is not as if she was pure, to begin with. She was living with that man. I had a bit of fun, that is all."
He grinned smelling his fingers before he licked them. I shook uncontrollably. I could feel their eyes on me. Somehow his saying those words out loud made everything worse. Hojo went over to him quickly pulling a dagger from his robes. He stabbed him in the gut and twisted it; dragging it upward. He wanted to make sure he felt it. The masked man dropped to the floor in pain. I watched the scene in horror. He climbed on top of him and grabbed the hand he had licked.
"You touched her."
He snapped a finger.
The man's scream rang in my ears.
"With this filthy hand of yours."
He snapped another.
This scream was even more piercing than the one before.
"You are nothing-"
Another finger went.
"But a disgusting criminal."
He snapped another finger, twisting it.
The man was sobbing now. The other masked men did nothing but stand by and watch. Frozen in fear just as I was.
"It is my fault. I should have taken her myself. Instead of leaving it to the likes of you."
He grabbed the last finger; his thumb.
"Please," the man begged. "I am sorry. I should not have touched her. Please no more."
The man's pleas fell on deaf ears. Even I could see Hojo had no intention of letting him go.
"Look at her," he ordered.
The masked man kept his eyes on Hojo. Most likely too afraid to look away.
"LOOK AT HER!" he ordered again.
He slowly turned his head to me. His eyes were filled with regret. He ripped the mask off him, and I wished he had not. Now, I was able to put a face to the terrible things he had done. His face would haunt me.
"You were not worthy enough to touch her. Her face will be the last thing you see. You've touched what is mine, and you will pay dearly for it." he said snapping the last finger on his hand.
He pulled the knife from him lodging it in his neck. The wet gurgling sounds he made as he bled out and choked on his blood, were sounds I would not soon forget. I watched as he spit up blood. While the life disappeared from his eyes. Hojo stood wiping off the man's blood onto his robes. A smile on his lips as if he had not just taken someone's life. At that moment I doubled over, vomiting. I desperately wanted this night to end.
"The rest of you leave now."
They wasted no time as they scrambled to their wagon. Hojo turned to me. His eyes softened. He reached out to me. His face had splatters of blood across it.
How could I have been so terribly wrong about someone?
"Kagome-"
I winced as my name left his lips. A word that once sounded so sweet now sounded so sour. He took a step toward me. I took two shaky steps back.
"Kagome," he said sternly. "Come here."
I swallowed hard looking at the dead man by his feet. I looked back up at him. I took off running into the trees taking shelter in the darkness. He called after me. It only made me run faster. Branches slapped against my face, arms, and legs. Ignored them and the pain I'd felt in the soles of my feet, as my feet slammed into the rock. I ran as fast as my legs would take me. I made the mistake of looking behind me. I could see a single torch following behind me. Hojo's face in its glow. I tried my best to run faster. He was gaining on me. I tripped over a root hitting the ground hard. It felt as though the air had been knocked out of me. I crawled into a bush. Ignoring the thorns that scratched me; and snagged on my clothes and hair. I tried to slow my breathing. I could hear his footsteps getting closer.
"Kagome please come out. I did not mean to frighten you. I... did not mean for that to happen to you. You were only meant to be brought to me, not to be harmed. Forgive me. I love you Kagome. I knew it the moment that I saw you, but he got in the way. You and I know that we are meant to be together. We were made for one another; made together. Just let me show you how much I love you. I can make you happier than that monster ever could. If only you would give me the chance to show you that."
I stayed silent. He was getting closer to me. I could feel him. I heard the cracking of the torch getting closer. He took a few more steps. He was next to me now. I held my breath. I hoped a prayed that he would walk right past me.
"You know Kagome. I have been exploring these woods since I was a child. I know them like the back of my hand. I saw you fall. I know that you could not have gotten far. There is not a corner of this earth that you can go, that I will not find you. That is how deep my love for you runs Kagome."
I nearly jumped out of my skin when the torch hit the ground. I felt his hands around my ankles as he dragged me out of the bush. The thorns ripped into my skin as a result. I kicked and screamed. I swung my arms, my elbow hitting him in the nose. Blood immediately spurted from it dripping all over me. He gripped his nose groaning in pain. He then backhanded me with the same bloodied hand It felt as though my brain rattled in my skull.
He pulled me to his chest. "My sweet Kagome." he cooed. "I did not mean to do that. I let my anger get the best of me. That is all. I just need you to calm down. Alright?"
He stood up throwing me over his shoulder and grabbed the torch.
"Do not worry Kagome. You have me now. You and I will be happy."
He began to walk. My arms dangled freely. My body was exhausted. I could feel myself slipping. Everything slowly faded to black.
I opened my eyes. My entire body was sore. It hurt to move; to breathe even. I slowly sat up leaning against the cold stone wall. I looked at my arms and legs. They were covered in scratches. Some were small while others were deeper and had trails of dried blood leading to them. My knees were bruised. Hojo's handprints had been left behind where he'd grabbed me by the ankles. A chain that was connected to the wall had been locked onto my left leg. I moved my dress slightly seeing the nail marks on my inner thigh, that he had left. I shuddered at the thought of it... his touch. It made me want to vomit again. My wrists were rubbed raw from the rope. Still, at least I was alive... part of me wishes I was not. I could hear footsteps stepping coming from outside. I hoped that someone had found this place. That I would be rescued, but I was wrong. I was wrong to dream. The door opened, it was Hojo.
He smiled at me. "Good morning."
He took a step toward me. I rushed into the corner turning my face away from him.
"Kagome please look at me."
I did not move. I prayed that he would go away, but I knew better. He sighed taking my chin between his fingers and forcing me to face him.
"I do not want to hurt you," he said softly.
"I am hurt. You have hurt me... LOOK AT ME! The things that have happened to me. They are your fault. This is not love! You are "
He reached into his robes pulling out the same dagger, he had used to kill that man. His dried blood is still there. He cut the rope from my wrists. He caressed my cheek. I pulled back from him.
"I want to love you Kagome. I want you to let me love you." He said trying to reassure me. "We can be happy together."
"I will never love someone like you. Even if every fiber of my being calls for it. I will fight it, as I have been."
His eyes darkened.
"Because of him?"
I could feel the rage building inside me. It sat in my core slowly spreading throughout me, it slowly creeping up my throat. Before I could think, the words came spewing out of my mouth.
"You have had me kidnapped from my home, in the middle of the night. I have been threatened, beaten, and VIOLATED; but yes most of all because of him. I will never love you, because it is him. It always will be. I do not care if we were made for one another. I do not care that you are my half." I spat.
He roughly grabbed my face.
"I am trying to be patient with you. You have been through some traumatic things, but do not push me Kagome. If I cannot have you willingly. I will take what is mine."
"I am not yours!"
He threw my head back, knocking it against the wall. I groaned in pain feeling it throb.
"That is where you are wrong Kagome. You are mine. You always have been."
I swallowed hard. "Sesshomaru will kill you once he's found out what you have done."
He smirked. "Do you really think that he will come looking for you? To him you are but one mortal woman. Someone to warm his bed. You are replaceable to him. One day you will die and he will find someone else. All you truly have is me. Why can't you see that?"
"Because you are the monster," I whispered harshly.
He sighed lighting a fire and grabbing a pail and filling it with water from the gourd.
"I build this hut for you. I fill it with the basic things you need. I come here to keep you company and spend time with you. I-"
"Chain me to a wall." I cut in.
He ignored my snide comment shoving the pail of water, and a rag towards me.
"Clean yourself." He ordered.
He sat in the chair watching me.
"What?"
"Clean yourself." He said again. "Or I will do it for you."
I wrapped my arms around myself.
"I cannot. You are watching me."
"I am sure a man seeing your body does not bother you."
Was this punishment for speaking out against him?
I pulled my knees to my chest and looked away from him. I hope that he would let me be. I could hear him getting up from the seat. The next I knew a pail of cold water had been dumped over me. The scratches that covered me stung. I shivered my teeth chattering.
"I will be back in a few hours. Hopefully, you will be more amenable when I return."
He left locking the hut door behind him. I listened to his footsteps away, before I moved. I quickly grabbed the blanket wrapped it around myself and scooted closer to the lit fire. If starvation didn't kill me, freezing to death surely would. I gripped the blanket in my hands, trying to focus on staying warm. I had to hold onto hope. He would find me.
I know he would.