Over the Top

by papireaz

When I died, I expected a few manga volumes. Maybe to learn what the One Piece is. Instead, I found myself in a world that I recognised, a story I had read and what's worse was that it was a story I had no interest in wanting to involve myself in! Then and again, the offer to become a Hero is far too tempting...

41. Issue 40

Change - Miwa (Bleach Opening 12)

---

"Yo."

"Hey."

"So, uh, this is new your place? It's nice." I asked Denji. He nodded as he led me through the bottom floor of his house. Well, it was actually a diner. Although it was closed since it was eight in the morning.

"Gramps is currently out, so we can talk wherever you want," Denji told me. "But I'd rather do it in my room. Just so he doesn't accidentally overhear." I nodded at that. Of course, he didn't tell the man who was caring for him.

Denji led me to his new room.

Compared to his previous room, this one was rather empty. It was simply a desk, a single bed, a chair and a picture of everyone in our middle school group altogether. It was the only thing that carried over from his last room. I wasn't stupid, I knew that he had sold all of us stuff.

Which was why I took the money from Yaoyorozu's mother so badly.

"Listen, I know you're short on cash," I said to him before he could get the first word in. I then got the envelope that was filled with way too much Yen for me to count. "Here. It's about ten million Yen, give or take a few thousand. You can pay whatever debts you need to pay with it, then you can quit the Shie Hassaikai."

Denji snorted at that.

"Quit the Shie Hassaikai? Sora, I don't know what world you are living in, but the chances of that are slim to none. Plus, I don't want to leave anyways."

"What?" I sighed, slamming the envelope on his desk. "Dude look at this. I got a contact with the police, hell I even know a pretty famous politician now. If you need protection from some shitty gang, I can provide it for you. I don't know why you are short on cash, why you sold everything in your room, or even why the hell you dropped out of high school."

"...so you spoke to the others about me."

"Did you think I wouldn't?" I asked him, confused as to what he was trying to say.

What I didn't expect was for Denji to stab his middle finger into my chest.

"I thought that my friend wouldn't just ignore me for his own chance at fame! That's what I thought!" He yelled at me. "You went to U.A and we were all so happy for you. You deserved to be a hero. But then the messages started to slow down, from both you and Jiro. Then the attack happened at the USJ, and we all just chalked it up to stress. You know I wasn't able to come to the sports festival to watch you, right?"

I nodded.

"Family emergency?"

"Yeah," Denji nodded. "Gramps had a stroke and was in the hospital. I watched your fights on the TV in a shitty hospital, but you never once messaged me to see if everything was fine. Ok, cool. I thought that was fine since I didn't message you personally after the USJ. But then I heard the news that you and your friend fought Stain, that you saved lives during the Hosu City incident. That you risked it all to save a friend whose brother had been murdered by Stain the previous week."

My throat felt dry.

"You'd go out of your way to risk your life for a guy you'd known for less than a month instead of talking to the friend you've known for two years." I closed my eyes, sitting down on his bed. Denji's voice sounded so…

Hurt.

"I didn't know-,"

"You didn't care to know. And it's not just me either. You know the opportunity Shirou got? The one in Sendai?" I nodded. "You were told last. We didn't even bother telling Jiro, since we knew that you would tell her."

"Wait… you knew?!" But Shirou had told me that I was the first to know-,

"We knew since June. You found out in September. Shirou held off on telling you until it was time to finally go since we all knew how you would react," He explained. "You'd act like you were fine but on the inside, you would be hurting. We didn't want you to get any more stress than you already had. I dropped out of high school in July, also the month where you only messaged us once. I get it, you barely messaged us even in middle school. But it hurt man."

"I-," I'm sorry? Is that what I should say? No. No. Why the hell should I be the one apologising?! "If you felt this way, then why the hell did you not say anything? Any of you? How the hell can you stand there and berate me for my actions when you did nothing to try and make me aware of them?" I shouted at Denji.

"Oh, you're blaming us now? Your friends who stood side-by-side with you in middle school when you were still the 'demon' that everyone feared? Someone that was classed as a bully and not a nice person because you thought you were better than everyone? What, you think just because you go to a nice school, you make a lot of money," Denji eyed the envelope full of Yen with jealousy. "That you got a nice girlfriend, that you are surrounded by people who are influential that it makes you better than us? Is that it?!"

"No!" I yelled back at him. "I never thought that I was better than any of you. I would never-,"

"So then why, why on God's earth would you even forget to send your 'friends' a happy birthday message." Huh? "You don't even remember, do you?"

"What are you talking about?"

Denji shook his head as he chuckled to himself.

"July Fifteenth. Who's birthday is that?"

"Midoriya's," I replied instantly. "It's his birthday."

We even had cake during lunch to celebrate it.

Denji nodded at that. "Yeah, you are probably right. It was his birthday. It was also Keiko's birthday, and you didn't message her, instead, you posted about Midoriya's birthday all over for us all to see. Isn't that nice?" He mocked me.

"Shut up," I growled at him. "Sure, I forgot, but I promise I won't do it next time-,"

"Next time? Sora, what world are you living in? There is no 'next time'! Our group is done. Finished. With Shirou and Sakura in Sendai, you and Jiro in U.A, Renji and Genji getting scouted to play professionally, Kenji's family getting a divorce and Makoto, Saki and Keiko all wanting to go to a different university it's all over."

What…

No. That…

Can't be…

"We all grew up Sora. Middle school is over, we are now in high school. We can drop out at any time and start work. We all got busy with our own lives but we still tried to keep in touch, still tried to keep being friends. All but you. You went to U.A, you made it big, and now all you do is protect them. That's fine, I ain't jealous of you getting more friends, you deserve them. But you ignored us all in the process, so much of a 'friend' you are. That was your decision to ignore us for them, and these are the consequences."

"But I didn't mean-,"

"AND I DIDN'T MEAN TO BECOME A CRIMINAL!" Denji roared. "Gramps was in the hospital, and I couldn't pay off his hospital bills. I sold all my stuff, but it wasn't enough man. We moved houses, but we still couldn't pay it off. His medicine's expensive. I don't want to lose gramps. I saw no way out and I thought it would be better if I left school to work. Gramps still doesn't know what I did, and I'd rather it stays that way."

"So you joined the Shie Hassaikai for money, I gathered that much, but why the hell won't you take my money."

"What am I? A charity?" Denji asked me, running a hand through his hair. "You are giving me the money now that you know, but if you had known before would you have done the same?"

"Of course, I would! You're my friend!"

"Maybe so, but what about if 1A needed help? Who would you have gone to first?" I-, My mouth opened, but no words came out. I didn't know the answer to that question myself.

Yes, I do.

I don't.

I would have gone for-,

Shut.

Up.

"My money is here man. Please, just take it." I pleaded with him.

"I'm doing just fine, Sora. I don't need your money anymore. I'm apart of the Shie Hassaikai-,"

I snorted at his words.

"Apart of it? I saw the fear in your eyes. You're just a little tool they are using because you're useful, that's how criminals work! They'll kill you-,"

"No they won't," Denji cut me off. "I'm one of them. They don't kill each other, they don't abandon each other. That's what it means to be a yakuza, Sora. It's like a family you know? They protect me, I protect them. They trust me, I trust them. Within these last few months they've given me way more reasons to trust them more than you've given me."

What?

"You'd trust criminals over me-,"

"Aren't I a criminal then?" Denji asked me. "I've killed someone. I've sold Trigger to kids. I'm a criminal, so why the hell are you trusting me when I'm not supposed to trust criminals? Why is that, Sora?"

I-,

"Because… because you're my friend," I admitted to him. "Because I care about you."

"That's right," Denji scoffed at me. "If your friends are involved, you lose all reason. You become biased. It isn't about what's moral or not, it's about your own selfish desire. You don't want to save us, you want to save the ideal version of us in your head. I'm not leaving the Shie Hassaikai, and I'm not taking your money."

"Dude, what if you die?" I asked him. "Then what? Then how the hell am I going to explain to your grandpa that his grandson was a fucking idiot? To our friends that you died a criminal? What if your dumbass gets caught and they plaster your name all over the news? Then what? Denji this is bigger than either you or me. There is a gang war starting, one where you would be right in the middle of it-,"

"So you're going to ask me to abandon ship? To let my friends die?"

"They aren't your friends-,"

"THEY ARE TO ME!" Denji screamed. "They are more of a friend to me than you ever will be. Stop talking about them as if they are trash! Like they don't matter! Like their lives mean nothing! Or are you going to kill them like you killed Hojo?" Huh?

"I didn't-,"

"You didn't? Then who did? A gunshot to the head, and his gun was missing. I thought you were a hero, not a murderer."

"How many people did he kill?" I asked Denji, who froze as I asked him that question. "I'm the murderer? I didn't even touch him! I-, He called me a coward. Said I couldn't finish the job and because of that I'm weak, so what the hell are you talking about? And I'd never kill anyone-,"

"Oh yeah? What if someone killed Jiro? Or anyone in 1A? How would your reaction be then?"

I…

"Our youth is broken. Look at us, two good friends now on completely different sides," Denji laughed bitterly. "Sora. I'm begging you. Please, just leave us alone-,"

"I can't do that."

"Why? If you're my friend, then you'll understand. We are friends, aren't we? I've been a part of the Shie Hssaikai for months and I'm fine. I've been harsh on you, but you are still someone that I care about. I still want you to be happy and be the best hero of all time, but I'm not a kid that doesn't know what he's doing. I joined them willingly, and I'm going to fight for them willingly too. I'm not the same Denji you knew from middle school, and you aren't the same Sora that I knew either. We both grew up into adults, so please don't make us fight. I'm trying to avoid it…"

The raid?

Does the Shie Hassaikai know about the raid?

"What are you talking about?" I asked him, trying to gauge his reaction. "Why would I pick a fight with the Shie Hassaikai? All I'm saying is that I can't promise to leave you all alone because of the gang war that's starting to heat up."

"So you don't know?"

"Know what?" I pressed him. "Denji, what are you trying to say?"

He refused to meet my eyes.

"I can't tell you that. It would betray one of my friends, and I won't do that to them."

Huh?

"Hey, tell me," I grabbed him by the shoulders. "I swear to fucking God man if you don't tell me-,"

"Or what?" Denji sneered at me, pushing my arms away in anger. "The hell are you going to do to me? Beat me up? Arrest me? What are you going to do to me? If we are friends, threatening me isn't going to work man."

"You don't understand-,"

"Then help me understand! Sora, no one wants conflict," Denji cut me off, pleading with me as he bowed his head down. "Please, man. I don't care about the rest of the Shie Hassaikai, they could die for all I care about. But there are good people there. The same age as us that are just like me, and just like you. I don't want a gang war to kill them, or worse. Please, can't you do something for them? I don't care about myself, just as long as you can save them. You're a hero, right?"

A hero?

That's what I'm supposed to be.

So what? I'm supposed to let people who've hurt others go because they are the same age as me.

Stop being a hypocrite.

How am I the hypocrite?

You offered to protect your friend, but not his friends. They are all in the same boat, you can't just pick and choose who to save.

Why not?

Because a hero saves everyone they can.

"Let me save you first, Denji."

"What about the others?"

"I'll save them, but only after you've left the Shie Hassaikai."

Denji's face fell.

"I-, I thought you'd say that," He whispered to me, I could hear the sadness in his voice. "I looked up to you. I admired you. But admiration is the furthest thing from understanding, I thought you were a better person than you actually are. I don't blame you, Sora, if I were in your position I'd probably do the same. We are all selfish, but now I can finally see how selfish you really are."

"What do you mean by that?" I asked him.

"Ain't it obvious man? We all thought you were a natural fit for it, but we were wrong. I'm saying you ain't cut out to be a hero," Denji told me plainly. "If they ain't standing right in front of you, no one is saved. Not unless you care about them, the opposite of what a hero should do. That's selfish, Sora."

"You're just saying that cause you blame me for our friend group falling apart!" Why the hell was I going to allow him to call me selfish?! "And what about you, huh? You join a gang, commit a bunch of crimes and think you can run away from your actions? You think that this is just a game and that all of your 'friends' are going to be alright? Your 'family' started a war! Your boss experiments on a kid!" Denji flinched at that.

"I know, that's why I'm telling you that I can't leave. If I do that, Overhaul will kill me, my friends and gramps. Do you think I don't regret my decisions? But the only think I can do is continue walking my path relying on my friends," Denji replied, his eyes met mine and for the briefest of moments I understood. "Stop being so childish, Sora. I'm telling you this straight that I need your help. What's more important, being a hero or protecting those you care about?!"

...Even if I help you, you can't just back out because you are suddenly afraid for your lives, the other gangs ain't gonna take that lying down! Think man, think! Or did you forget to do so when you joined a gang!"

"I don't blame you," Denji replied. "I don't blame anyone for our friend group falling apart. We all went our separate ways, I knew that eventually, we were going to stop speaking to each other as often as we used to do. I mean we all went to different schools, finding our own paths in life, it was bound to happen. I just… I didn't think it would hurt, ya' know?"

I-,

Yeah.

I didn't think it would hurt either.

Bzzt. Bzzt. Bzzt.

Jiro was calling me.

"Go," Denji opened his door for me. "Gramps is gonna come any second now, and I'd rather we not continue this conversation while he's here. It doesn't matter anyway considering I can't convince you to stop, and you can't convince me to stop either. I guess it's fate, huh? We are both trying to save each other from our own worst fears. Maybe I was never meant to belong in a gang… but you know, maybe you were never meant to belong in U.A either."

My breath hitched as he said that, and for a few seconds, I couldn't breathe. It was like whenever the Quirk All For One had used on me to keep my lips shut about the 'truth', I simply couldn't breathe at all. I had a tingling feeling in my fingers, not to mention it felt like my heart was racing more than normal. I grabbed the envelope of money I had thrown down on his desk before I ran out of his room, and eventually his house as I swallowed down my vomit.

Why was my headache killing me?

It was snowing.

It had been snowing for the past week.

It was only a few days before the raid.

Why'd you wait until now?

What was I supposed to do now?

Do what you always do.

But I…

I dropped to the floor, leaning on my bike as the cold snow cooled me down. I was sweating like crazy, not to mention my nausea which made me want to vomit. What was happening to me? Did I have a cold?

I believe the correct term for it is an anxiety attack.

Huh?

A what now?

Anxiety attack? But I've never had that before! Why the hell would I get one now of all times?

Because you are stressed.

You can't handle this.

No… I can! I can do it!

Then why are you sitting on the pavement, covered in snow, trying to convince yourself that you are okay?

I am okay! I'm fine!

How many I'm fine's do you have left to say before you accept the truth?

What truth?

…just give up on the raid.

I can't do that! What if the Shie Hassaikai know what was happening? I can't just decide not to go, who's going to protect everyone there? Who's going to save Denji? Who's going to-,

Denji doesn't want to be saved. You can't help someone that refuses your help, Sora. He's asking for your assistance - He's asking for you to turn your back on being a hero/

No-, But-, He-,

I can't-,

What about-,

And protecting others isn't your job. The raid was set up to take down the criminal organisation, the Shie Hassaikai, not for you to play the hero. If you want the others to be protected, then tell Aizawa so he can inform the other heroes of the chance that their plan may be compromised.

You don't have to do it all alone. Or rather, you can't do it all alone.

No.

They won't believe me!

How do you know that?

They won't.

I'm the only one who can stop this.

Don't be arrogant! What can you stop? Every one of your victories was due to luck, due to someone else coming in and helping you! At the USJ, you only beat Zero's minion because of Aizawa! If it wasn't for Tokage at the sports festival, you would still be stuck on what you want to do! If Midoriya and Todoroki didn't save you at the last second, Iida and you would have died! If Zero didn't help you during the camping trip, you would have lost everything!

What exactly are you going to stop?!

Whatever plan the Shie Hassaikai has.

I'll stop them and save everyone in the process, no matter what!

Do you really think you can do that? I know you. I know how you feel, what's happening inside you, and all your emotions and feelings about this! Don't push them down and ignore them to try and act brave! Arrogance isn't a good look on you, don't ignore your fears! You're walking into an unknown, don't tell me that you don't have a weird feeling about this! First 'Felix Felicis' exists, then a guy called Azrael keeps on being mentioned, the League is involved and now this! Don't be stupid and kill yourself trying to act brave!

Why the hell do you care?

…

It's my decision.

Farewell, Sora.

---

DECIDE

FIVE

'goodbye, halcyon days'

---

"Where the hell were you? It's three in the morning?! You were out for a whole day!" Jiro yelled at me, sick with worry. "Have you eaten anything? I made some yakitori and rice for you, I left it on your shelf in the fridge if you want to eat it."

"I was… out." That was my only reply.

"I know that," Jiro rolled her eyes at me. "Why are you soaking wet?"

"The snow."

"Were you playing in it, or what?"

"I'm tired. I'm gonna go upstairs and sleep-,"

Jiro grabbed onto my arm before I could even reach the stairs. I could see it in her eyes, the hurt in them. She wasn't going to let me go until I told her what happened, especially because of my short answers. But I couldn't help it, even now it felt like I was trudging through water to try and reach the surface only for it to be further away than I thought it was.

She knew something was up, and that was annoying.

I didn't want to deal with this.

"Sora. I don't have to remind you of this, but you can trust me. Keeping things hidden from me isn't okay, you got it?"

"I went to see Denji."

Her eyes softened at that.

"Ah. How's his grandpa?"

"...you knew his grandpa had a stroke?"

"Yeah, I messaged him after the sports festival," Jiro paused as she tilted her head in confusion at my question. "Wait, didn't you know?"

I didn't reply.

"Sora-,"

"It's fine. I'm gonna go to bed now." I tried to walk up the stairs, but Jiro still held on to me, refusing to let me even take a single step. She wasn't going to let me go upstairs until I told her the truth. But what was there to say? That despite saying my friends meant everything to me, I fucked up badly?! No wonder back in June-ish Jiro was clearly questioning if she was a good friend if she knew this...

Why the hell didn't I message him?

"Sora. Don't act like a prick, I don't know what you've been through to skip school completely for a whole day and come back home at three in the morning, but you clearly need someone to talk to," Jiro whispered. "Now we can either do this the easy or hard way-,"

"I'm not in the mood for jokes, Jiro."

"Huh? Sora, what's actually going on?"

"You know the raid against the gang I'm on? The Shie Hassaikai?" Jiro nodded. "Denji's a part of the gang." Jiro let go of holding me as I saw her eyes go through a wide range of emotions. Shock, fear, anger. She couldn't believe it, or rather she couldn't believe me. She was Denji's friend just as much as I was, we were all supposed to be friends. So how could we have missed the fact that our friend was suffering?

That he needed help?

How long was I asleep when it came to helping out my old friends?!

My mind wandered to the rest of the group. If they were in trouble right now, I had no way of knowing that! They weren't about to message me asking for help, not as their first resort, because from what I'd shown them it was okay to not rely on others. I didn't realise it until now, but my friends tried to emulate me. The reason why Denji was like this was that I was like this.

They thought if I could do it, it was okay.

For the first time in my life, I truly felt like I was surrounded by children. Why would they try to act like me?! I wasn't... Wasn't it clear for anyone to see that trying to be like me wasn't okay? The number of times I had nearly died. The number of times I had nearly given up, only to stand back up because I didn't want to lose. The number of people I had worried because of my actions, the number of times I had nearly ruined the lives of others...

Denji, everyone from my old friend group, they all knew that.

So why?

Why were they trying to be like me?!

Why did they admire me?!

"How long have you known?"

"Two weeks."

"And you only met with him today?"

I nodded.

"Why would you…"

"Because," I started, patting her on her head. "I didn't know what to say. Or even do. But I do now, Kyoka. I know what I have to do now. But you are probably not going to like it."

"Cause it's dangerous?" She pushed me against the doorframe, holding me still as her hand pressed against my chest. "Everything you do is dangerous. I've known that about you since we first met since you had a headache in our maths class. It was so long ago that it's funny how you were in pain even back then, but you didn't want to buckle under pressure. But don't be... don't be stupid. I want you to promise me that, okay?"

"Alright." I replied, nodding at her.

"I want to hear you say it. I want to hear you say that you'll promise not to be stupid for once, cause I don't want to nearly lose you again." She whispered, resting her forehead right below my chin.

"I promise."

Yet despite those words which clearly comforted Jiro, I couldn't help but frown. That was a promise I couldn't keep, but I still made it anyways. Why? It was stupid of me to hang on to this feeling of guilt. I'm sure Jiro knew I was lying to make her feel better because I was stupid. I was a self-sacrificing idiot that would fight until I won, and I'd do whatever it took to win even if I nearly died in the process.

That was just who I was.

I didn't need to understand death to understand myself. Even if I didn't want to die, I knew that my body would react faster than my mind in a situiation where it needed to. No, it was more accurate to say that my brain switched off as my emotions took control of me, and there was nothing wrong with that. I may try to act like nothing fazed me, but everyone knew that wasn't the real me.

It was baffling that someone could take a look at the masks I wear and try to wear them as well.

But the fact that deep down I was willing to die for those I cared about without any hesitation...

That was scary.

Just a couple of years ago I was a bully that thought he was better than everyone else cause' I had knowledge that they didn't. And even before that, I was just a loner that lived a mundane life all by myself before I died. How the hell did I reach where I did? How did I manage to get here? By all accounts, being a hero was easily the stupidest thing I've ever done. I willingly put myself in a position where I could die at any time, where villains are looking to kill me.

But it wasn't a decision I regret.

If I didn't come to U.A, I'd still be a kid with a lost purpose in life. Walking around saying I'd protect those I care about without understanding what it meant, without understanding that I had to help save them too. It was weird in a sense how far I had come since I came to U.A, I mean it's only been seven months since the school year started, yet it felt much longer than that. U.A changed me for the better, and for that, I would always be grateful to this school, all the teachers, and everyone in this class as well as the other classes.

That was why the raid on the Shie Hassaikai was so important.

It wasn't just about me saving a friend.

Nah.

It was about proving to myself that I'm a hero.

---

I looked at the papers on my desk.

Yukari Aotsuki's address.

There were only a few days left until the raid, but I still hadn't gone to visit her. What would I say? How would I say it? What would her reaction be to seeing me all grown up? What if she doesn't want to answer any of my questions? They were some of the annoying questions running through my head, and I wished that they would stop. I twirled around on the chair in my room, sighing to myself as I ate another sweet.

I'd visit her tomorrow.

I got up from my chair and put on my slippers, leaving my room to walk downstairs. No one was in the kitchen, but Ojiro, Mineta and Tsuyu were in the living room watching TV together.

"Yo," I greeted, jumping on the couch to watch the TV with them. "Where's Kaminari?"

"Remedial classes for failing the license test," Mineta answered.

"Oh, right. I forgot that idiot failed them," I then turned to Ojiro who was the one holding the TV remote. "What you gonna' watch?"

"I don't know. Maybe something cool like Xaruto."

Tch.

"All I'm saying is that Bleach is better. Not just because I'm writing it, but because it simply is the better series. I mean our volume one sold millions of copies in its first printing, what did Xaruto do?" Ojiro sighed as he put on Xaruto reruns.

"Thirty thousand copies I think."

"Exactly! Bleach is clearly superior."

"Ugh! Can't you guys be any more plain?" Hagakure complained. "Battle series that, battle series this! Tokage's 'Love is War' is a way better series than Bleach." Ojiro sighed yet again as I threw a nearby pillow at Hagakure.

"Take that back!"

"Nu-uh! Romance manga is better than any toilet roll manga you could ever write. Unless you write a romance series!"

"But there is romance in Bleach!"

"Huh?" Hagakure was confused. "Where? I read it weekly, where is the romance?"

"It's more subtle than that, Hagakure. You simply have too tiny of a brain to understand the complex romance between-, AH! What the actual fuck?!" She threw multiple pillows at me for that comment.

"Don't say I have a small brain."

"Would you rather I call you a smooth brain instead?"

Luckily, the pillow that she threw was aimed a little to the left, I ducked and laughed as it hit Mineta square in the face, the bag of crisps he was holding spilling all over the floor. Hagakure apologised profoundly, helping him clean up the mess on the floor before throwing him another pack of crisps from her cupboard.

"These are prawn and cocktail."

"So?"

"I only like cheese and onion."

"Dude," I clapped him on the back. "Cheese and onion is such a shit flavour. Salt and vinegar are clearly the best flavour, right Ojiro?"

"Actually, I prefer ready-salted."

Eh?

"That's such a…"

"Plain flavour. How plain are you?" Hagakure finished my sentence off for me. "What's next, are you going to tell us that your favourite drink is water?" Ojiro refused to meet our eyes after that. "No way! You are the most generic person ever."

"Wait no! I like… weird things."

"What spices do you put on your food?" I asked him.

"...salt. Sometimes pepper."

"Sometimes pepper?"

"Depends on if I'm in a spontaneous mood or not."

Pfft.

I couldn't hold in my laughter at that point, and neither could Hagakure or Mineta. Ojiro scowled at us, but he didn't say anything. How the hell did I not realise that Ojiro was the plainest person in the class? I mean even all of his clothes had no logo's on them, they were just plain colours. Even his hero costume was plain! That made me laugh even harder.

"Plainjiro." I cracked up, pointing at him.

"I swear-,"

"Plainjiro! Plainjiro! Plainjiro!" Mineta repeated multiple times.

"Guys-,"

"Just look at your slicked-back hair as well! How plain is that?" Hagakure joked, but it was that comment that actually got a reaction out of Ojiro. He kicked the table in frustration, before sighing to himself as he laid his head on the couch.

"Uh… you good?" I asked him.

"Yeah. Sorry for the outburst, it's just. Can we not talk about my hair?"

"Why not?"

"It's a weird subject. You probably don't wanna hear about it anyway." Hagakure sat down next to him, and for a second I thought she was going to kiss him on the cheek or something. At least, that's what it looked like to me.

"C'mon, do you think we don't want to listen?" She asked Ojiro. "We are all friends here, don't be a baby and not share! If I hurt your feelings, I want to know why!" Ojiro sighed as he sat back up, stretching his neck while doing so.

"It's not that long of a story," He replied. "When I was a kid, I was sick a lot. One day, my parents were driving me to the hospital when a villain attacked. He was big and scary, almost looking like a giant fly. I must have been four or so because all I remember at the time was being terrified. Until a hero came to save us. Slicked back hair, and martial arts that managed to take the villain down rather easily."

"You modelled yourself after your idol."

"Yeah. You can call me plain, say my food taste is plain, say whatever you want about me," Ojiro paused to stand up and point towards his hair. "But never make fun of my hair. Got it? If not, I'll beat you up to make sure you understand." His tail wagged behind him, much like a dog, which made it even funnier.

"But… you have slicked-back hair." Mineta laughed.

That was until Ojiro's tail whacked him across the room like a ragdoll. I couldn't help but laugh at Mineta as he stood up groaning about his back. I turned to look back at Ojiro, who was grinning at Mineta.

"Want to take another crack at my hair? I got plenty more of that for you. Any of you." He warned us, which only made Hagakure and I laugh harder.

"Mate," I managed to say in between my laughing fit. "No one is going to joke about your hair after this. Not that we did so anyways. But do you mind if I start calling you Josuke?"

"Why Josuke?"

"Both of you get prissy over your shit haircuts."

---

I yawned.

It was so early.

"What do ya' want, Midoriya?" I asked him as I made myself breakfast. It was six AM on a Wednesday. If it wasn't for the fact that we had school in three hours, I'd have chucked the boy down the stairs head first for disturbing my peace. As usual, toasted waffles with Nutella on top and strawberry milk were the best way to start any morning off. At least for me.

"I n-need to talk to you about the raid," Midoriya stuttered out, but it wasn't due to nervousness. It was because he also yawned. "How are you feeling?"

I shrugged my shoulders in response. I didn't really know how to feel if I was being honest. On one hand, I made myself a promise. Even after what happened to me during August, I was still here and I wasn't going to back down. On the other hand, I knew very little about the Shie Hassaikai. About Overhaul. At least Zero was predictable in some ways, and wildly hard to predict in others - But the opponents I was about to face simply didn't exist. I didn't know them, and they didn't know me.

I was essentially walking in blind to the whole thing.

Not to say I hadn't done that before, but this time the tension in the air was palpable even if the raid was only a few days away.

"Fine. How about you?"

"I-I have to ask you something! I need you to make a promise to me!" There it was. Midoriya's nerves came back in full force, but this time Midoriya swallowed down his fear and faced it head-on. He truly was a reliable guy… "During the raid, I might not be there to do the fighting. I have a different goal. But if for some reason I fail, if for some reason I can't complete it, can I trust you to complete it for me?"

"Yeah, no problem."

He sighed in relief, smiling once more.

"Thank you, Sora-san-, I mean Sora! Sorry!" He then looked down at the counter rather guiltily too. "And I'm also sorry for treating you so harshly after everything that happened to you in August. I was just… bitter. You were there helping me, but I couldn't do anything to help you and then when we finally came to save you, the one time we could have helped you when you needed it the most, you refused it. It wasn't fair to take it out on you, but I did so. Please forgive me!"

"Don't worry about it," I replied, giving Midoriya one of my waffles. I didn't realise how sugary they were until I died and found myself in a new world, but I wished that I had eaten them in my last life. Still, they were a pain to find in Japan, which was why I asked Yaoyorozu to get them for me. "I get it. Shit happens, we move on. But I doubt you'll fail with your 'goal'. But hey, if somehow it happens, I got your back."

"You really do have a lot of faith in me."

"I do. Everyone does, even that angry bitch known as Bakugo has faith in ya'," Midoriya chuckled nervously at that, making sure the blonde wasn't nearby as I said that. "Above all else, you're a good person. And that makes you a good hero."

"Don't speak like that! You are a good hero too!" Midoriya told me. "You never back down from a fight, you stay true to yourself and you win. You're so headstrong it's encouraging to watch, not to mention that you fight tooth and nail for us," I tried not to frown as he said all that. But weren't all the things he just listed… me? How did that make me a good hero as opposed to a good friend? "That's why everyone in our class, yes even Kacchan, admires you."

'Admiration is the furthest thing from understanding.'

Denji's words to me only three days prior kept on repeating in my head as Midoriya ate the waffle I gave him. As well as my own thoughts about how Denji was tryong to act like me, and if all of my old friends wanted to act like me as well. I excused myself from the table, ignoring my left hand which was trembling. Why did Midoriya have to say that? I walked out to our garden, putting a cigarette to my mouth as I lit it.

Here I was, smoking at six in the morning.

Maybe I do have a problem.

Jiro kept on telling me it was an unhealthy coping mechanism, but it wasn't like I was using this to cope - It was just something that I did. Plus, so many people my age smoke at this time anyway, sixteen and seventeen is the age for experimenting and trying out new things. But even then, it still couldn't help me get over whatever it was that was going through my body.

Anxiety attacks?

But I… what even is an anxiety attack? Pfft, as if someone like me could ever get one. That's for babies who were confused and lost in life. I have a goal, and I was going to achieve that goal! There was no way that I could ever get an anxiety attack, so surely this must just be a cold or something.

Yeah! That's it! This is just a cold.

It'll pass.

It doesn't matter what Denji said, or if Midoriya repeated it, why shouldn't everyone admire me? Considering all that I've achieved since coming to U.A, it made complete sense. Haha! Why would admiring me be the opposite of understanding me?

That was just stupid.

…

Despite all that, even as I pulled the air into my lungs, I still go no response. While it was oddly comforting that I didn't get a response, as I stood behind our dorm with only the November cold to greet me it made me feel more alone than ever before. I don't even know why, or how, that feeling came to be, but it just did. It was confusing that even a small part of me thought that way, considering all of my friends, family and even girlfriend that admired me-,

Ah.

I took another drag from my cigarette.

It was times like these that I hated the human mind. It was so complex, beyond our understanding, that I actually admired-,

Ah.

Well, that's annoying.

I chuckled to myself, throwing my butt of the cigarette to the ground and putting it out before I pulled out another. Two in a day… not to mention I was probably going to do another one after dinner, and maybe one in school if I was bored enough. If Jiro were here, she'd make a joke about me dying early due to lung cancer or something despite knowing full well that I would be fine. That's why Aizawa was so lenient, as well as genuinely spoiling me a lot, what a fun uncle. Of course, I kept my habit well away from Gekko and Hinata because I just knew the fuss they would put up about it.

And Miwa?

Oh, that dastardly bitch knew all about it and was even trying to extort me! Blackmail material she called it!

From my own sister no less!

…

Still no response.

It was weird, ever since that day, everything was quiet. Too quiet. Even if the jabs were annoying, and it made my head hurt, I sort of missed it. That 'other side of me' and Kurai speaking to me actually made me sane. It probably made me sound like a psychopath in a really obscure way or something. I wasn't a psychologist, but that sounded like it wasn't a healthy thing to miss. Maybe he gave up because he was stunned by my resolve to win!

Ha!

Serves the bastard right, there was no way I was going to listen to them of all people! This was my body after all! It was my life! I was the one in control. It was my decision, and that was final…

So why the hell did I feel so empty? Like I was sinking further and further away from everything?

---

"Yo."

My backpack was slung over my shoulder as I walked back to our dorm with Kaminari and Jiro. I had just evaded detention with Ectoplasm for not submitting my science homework, which I had promised him I left at home despite not ever doing it in the first place. Jiro sighed at me, knowing full well what I had just done, while Kaminari grinned at me.

"Naughty, naughty. Skipping detention? I wonder what Aizawa-sensei is gonna say about this."

"Aizawa isn't going to know," I replied, taking a drag from my recently lit cigarette. "And if you tell him, you'll be eating food through a straw for the next month." Kaminari snorted as he tried to trip me up for that comment.

"Yeah right. As if you could beat me up."

"You wanna go right now?" I asked him, taking off my bag. I was joking, but I didn't think he would take it so seriously.

"Hold on," Jiro tried interjecting, stepping between the two of us. "You guys aren't seriously going to fight, right?"

"Why not?" Kaminari asked, placing his bag next to mine. "Seems like a fun way to pass some time. Plus, we've never actually fought before. Spared I mean. I wanna' see if I can make him bleed."

"What am I, a girl?" I asked him, chuckling to myself as I threw my blazer on top of my bag. My shirt was already untucked, so I didn't need to worry about that. My tie was already in my blazer pockets, so unlike Kaminari, I didn't need to undo it. Jiro threw her hands up in frustration, but still remained next to the two of us as we prepared to fight.

"No Quirks," Kaminari laid down the rules for us. "No hitting in the balls, and no recording the fight. This stays between the three of us. Just a good old-fashioned fistfight, alright?" I cracked my knuckles, nodding at him as he explained how the fight was going to go down.

"First one to the floor loses?" I asked.

"Yep. No takebacks, we get one shot only."

"I'm fine with that," I replied, turning to face Jiro. "Want to give me a good luck kiss?"

She snorted at that.

"I'd tell you not to break a leg, but knowing you two you'll both end up breaking your necks." Jiro joked, but something about her glare gave me a feeling that she wasn't actually joking. As if Kaminari and I would break our necks… Our spines maybe, but never our necks!

I pivoted around to stare at Kaminari, who was still stretching his arms and legs.

"How long are you going to take?" I asked him.

"Not that long… How about now?" I was surprised when he reached down on the ground and tried to throw dirt in my eye. The only problem was that it didn't even come close to reaching me, which made his attack fail spectacularly. I suppose that was funny in a twisted way, especially when he looked at the dirt on the ground like it betrayed him or something along those lines.

"I, uh, that wasn't supposed to happen."

I ignored him as I walked up towards him, and tried to kick him in the shins.

"OWW! What the fuck man?!"

Kaminari was hopping around on one foot after that, but he still didn't fall to the floor. I turned around to laugh at the idiot with Jirou joining in on the fun. Did he think he could beat me after this? It was rather funny to think that even someone like Kaminari still couldn't handle pain in a fight. Although it did make me sober up. Looking at the number of scars I had all over my body from all of my dangerous fights, not to mention the Quirk that allowed me to barter something in return for power, it made sense as to why Kaminari wasn't used to pain in a fight the same way I was.

Getting battered and nearly dying was something I was used to.

Kaminari wasn't.

And I hoped that he would never be in that position.

"You ready to start the fight again?" I asked him. I was going to finish this fight in one punch. Kaminari nodded towards me as we both walked towards each other. I threw a right hook, and for a second it looked like it was about to hit!

…until Kaminari managed to duck under it, swiping my legs from underneath me. Whether it was the calm expression on his face which surprised me, or my shock at actually losing to Kaminari, I don't know what hit me first-,

No.

It was definitely the hard ground that hit me first.

I sighed, knowing full well that I wasn't going to be able to escape this loss for another ten years at the minimum.

"You know," Kaminari started as he helped me back up from the ground. "From all the fights I've seen you in, when you are just using your hands, you always start it off with a kick or a right hook. It wasn't too hard to make a plan to take you out. Next time feint a right hook and go for a jab, maybe even an uppercut. That would be a really good surprise."

"Surprised you managed to duck my punch. Since when could you swipe people?"

"Ehe, I studied martial arts when I was kid," Kaminari rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment. "I wasn't good at it, at least not compared to my peers. But I managed to pick up a few tricks here and there, but I was always more interested in kendo. But this was so long ago that it feels like a different lifetime, like I said I was just a kid when I did all this."

"Then you became a gaming addict?"

"Then I became a gaming addict," Kaminari answered sadly. "But hey, at least I met you and everyone else, right? That's gotta count for something."

"I guess," I replied, shrugging my shoulders as Jiro threw our blazers back at us. She was carrying both of our bags, rolling her eyes at our exchange as she stared at the sky. It was only half-past four, yet the sky was already darkened. It was hard to see the remaining orange in the sky, especially because we lived in a bustling city where we had many skyscrapers obstructing our view of the sky. But I enjoyed the city, Nah, I loved living here.

"You two down with testing your fragile masculinity?" Jiro asked the two of us.

Kaminari nodded, and I shrugged my shoulders yet again.

"I suppose we are. Anyway, I'm hungry so let's go home already. I promised I was going to cook everyone dinner, right?" I asked Jiro, who nodded in response. "Alright. I know exactly what to make."

"Which is?" Jiro questioned, swinging her bag wildly like a toy.

"Yorkshire pudding, roasted meat and roasted potatoes served with gravy. Lots of gravy." It was a staple dish back home for me, at least in my previous life. I loved it, and since we were in the tail end of November, practically December, what better time was there to make it for everyone? It was funny, even though I was born in Japan the majority of the food I ate wasn't even Japanese. Not to say that the food in Japan was bad, it was quite the opposite, but being born here couldn't break my love for foods from Europe.

Then and again, I did spend seventeen years as a proud European.

"British foods?" Kaminari asked me surprised. "Huh. Didn't peg you for the type. But I am looking forward to it! It's been a while since I had a roast dinner."

"You've had roast dinner before?!" I asked him in shock.

"I visited London once when I was younger. It was nice, I'll give it that much. But I much preferred Liverpool. I'm down to help you prepare the food if you want since everyone else is going to be complaining about if the food will taste good or not." I sighed at that, knowing he was completely right. Mineta, Jiro, Yaoyorozu and Mina would be the most excited to try it. People like Bakugo and Iida wouldn't care what was being cooked as long as they could eat it, then we had Todoroki and Tsuyu who would prefer the dish was Japanese.

"Sick. I think we got all the ingredients. Well, I definitely have enough Yorkshire puddings to last us until March, obviously thanks to Yaoyorozu. It's still crazy to me that she can just ask for foods to be imported with shipments to Japan, and they just do it instantly," That kind of power just boggled my mind. "Then and again, it allows me to get cool foods from all over the world so I ain't complaining."

Kaminari hummed at that, deep in thought. Even though he was still staring at me, I could see from his eyes alone that he thinking about something.

"You ever been to London, Sora?"

"We-,"

"He said he did when he was a kid as well," Jiro answered for me. "I asked Miwa but apparently she said she doesn't remember a trip like that, plus his parents said they had never left the country let alone the continent. But to be fair, Sora did say that he went before he met Miwa."

"Yeah. In my second orphanage." I lied to them both.

"Second orphanage? I thought you just went to one?" Kaminari asked me in confusion.

"Nah, I went to two. The first one was the victim of a villain attack though, somehow I managed to survive. Then I moved to a second one right after, and two-ish years later Gekko and Hinata found and adopted me," I explained to him. "But yeah, London's beautiful. A bit rough around the edges, but beautiful. Especially the South East, man I know the South East like the back of my hand!"

"Really? You only went once though."

"I learned the map off by heart."

"Dedication. So if we ever find ourselves in London, you'll show us around?"

I wrapped my left arm around Jiro, pulling her in close for a half hug.

"Already made plans with my girlfriend to do that. Sorry man looks like you'll have to use Google Translate, your shitty English and some luck. But hey, as long as you ignore anyone in big puffer jackets you should be fine," I replied. "Probably." I then added.

"Great, glad to know you care about me." Kaminari grumbled, shoving both Jiro and me forwards in response.

"Oi! Don't make me beat you up!"

"Just like how you beat me up five minutes ago?"

"You-, Don't make me use my Quirk on you!"

"I bet you hit like a girl." Kaminari stuck his tongue out at me. I didn't even apologise to Jiro as I gently pushed her to the side, before sprinting after Kaminari who was screaming in fear trying to escape me. Eventually, I managed to catch up to him and tackled the bastard into the ground, which hurt the two of us plenty.

"Ow! Fuck man, I think you broke my back!" Kaminari loudly complained. "Dude, how the hell am I going to re-arrange chick's insides if I can't even walk properly?!" I didn't have enough time to answer that as Jiro kicked him in the back, causing him to scream in even more agony.

Drama queen.

"Focus on finding a 'chick' first." She glared at him, before turning her gaze upon me. Oh sweet heavens, why the hell was she angry with me?! "And you!" Jiro pointed at me angrily. "Why the hell did you feel the need to just run after this idiot? Is beating him up more important than me?"

"Yes." I answered fearlessly and without hesitation.

"Really?" Jiro smirked at me, tapping her foot against my own. "Fine then, I won't rest my head against your shoulder when you are playing games. In fact, I won't even go into your room anymore."

"Bullshit," I laughed at her. "The reason you come up to my room is that Todoroki and Sero aren't noisy pricks. Even though Hagakure is at the other end of your corridor, the fact is that she probably has ten cameras in your room at all times waiting to record everything we'll do together once I enter your room. Horny bitch."

"Hehe, if you two do a sex tape can I be the first one to watch it?" Kaminari asked the two of us, a goofy grin having been plastered across his face. I watched as Jiro kicked him in the chest for that comment, and judging by his reaction of not being able to breathe for a few seconds, it probably hurt a lot.

"NO! Never in a million years, you filthy freak!" She squealed into the night.

"Why not?" I asked her. "I mean he's basically my brother. And the three of us are pretty close together, I'm not counting Mineta cause there is no way in hell I'm letting him have my sex tape knowing he'd probably release it on the internet for 'archiving purposes'."

"You're joking, right?"

I turned to look at Kaminari, who was begging me to stop talking for fear of more pain.

I then looked back at Jiro, who looked like a death reaper under the moonlight - Her eyes promising pain for whoever had the balls to piss her off.

"Kaminari paid me twenty thousand Yen for first viewing privileges," I answered in amusement, watching as Kaminari whimpered for the pain to stop. But that didn't stop Jiro from throwing Kaminari's bag at his head in rage. If I had popcorn, it would be rather entertaining to see my girlfriend beat Kaminari to a pulp while she raged about 'perverts' and 'freaks' being her best friends.

And then she grinned madly at me.

"W-what's wrong, honey?" I knew I was fucked, but I still tried to calm her down in a sickly sweet voice. I even called her honey! But that only made her roll up her sleeves as she marched over to me and did what every man feared.

She kicked me in the balls.

What was that really soft sound that I could hear? Oh. That was just my wails as I fell to the floor, clutching my testicles hoping she hadn't done any permanent damage to them. It was then Kaminari's turn to gloat at me, even though the two of us were sprawled all over the floor of our dorm looking like a pair of idiots.

"Haha! You got kicked in the balls!"

"You have a bruise on your face!" I shouted at him.

"So?"

"You look like you were just assaulted."

"I was," Kaminari then glared at Jiro who seemed to be proud of the work she had accomplished just now. "You violent little whore. I swear, if it wasn't for the fact that you were my best friend, you would be so out of commission by now!"

"What did you just call me?"

"A whore," I answered for him. "Considering how you apply your make-up, I don't think a whore is good enough. She doesn't even look like a prostitute either, even though her dresses really do give off that vibe. No, do you want to really know what you remind me of? A clown. An evil clown that was fired from the circus." Jiro's brow twitched as I said that, and I swear that one of her veins was throbbing as she walked towards me and sat directly on top of me.

"Say that again now that you can't move!"

"...why would I want you to not sit on me? Although preferably, you'd be sitting on my face-," I didn't get to finish that sentence as she slapped her hand over my mouth, grinning in victory. Damn. Eventually, despite the various amount of teasing both she and Kaminari did, we made our way back to the dorm in one piece. Even if our school had finished an hour ago, and we had basically taken what was a five-minute walk back to our dorm and stretched it far past the normal limit, it was still a fun time and was usually what happened between the three of us (Sometimes Mineta joined us, other times he was with Tsuyu and Shoji.)

However, my plans for dinner were derailed as I saw Yaoyorozu sitting on the couch, a cup of tea next to her while she was reading a book.

"What are they doing?" I demanded from her, pointing at the five men in chef costumes working in our kitchen. "Who the fuck are they? How the fuck did they get here? And why the fuck are they taking over my day to cook dinner for everyone?!" This wasn't fair! I wanted to have Yorkshire puddings!

"Oh, the chefs I hired? They are just cooking us dinner since some of my ingredients were going to expire soon, so I wanted them to be used by proper professionals. How do you like your steak, Sora?"

"Medium-rare," I replied, my shoulders sagging slightly. "There better be peppercorn source. And fried calamari! I swear, if there isn't fried calamari I will commit a crime tonight and you won't like it!" I then turned my gaze to the five chefs. "Oi! Fuckheads! I have a bunch of Yorkshire puddings in my freezer, the third fridge to the left, and at the bottom draw! Peppercorn sauce, Yorkshire puddings and fried calamari! If that isn't on my plate for tonight, you will regret it. Got it?"

One of them nodded at my requests.

Good.

"Do you think they can make cheeseburgers?" Kaminari asked me. I wasn't able to refrain from punching him in the arm.

"Were you dropped on the head as a baby? S-T-E-A-K. That's what we are having tonight. Oh, and you better not complain that your steak was dry considering you always order well-done when we go out. And I swear, if you so much as touch one of my fried calamari, I promise you that tomorrow we will all be having fried Kaminari and you'll be awake to eat it. Got it?" He nodded meekly at that, but I wasn't worried about him.

It was that bastard Sero that always stole my food!

And he always got away with it, a big ass smirk on his face while he wharfed down my food!

"Hey, Sora," Kaminari interrupted my thoughts of strangling Sero whenever he tried to steal my food. "Did you ever open up the gift I gave you when we first moved into this dorm? You know, the present that I said was supposed to be your real gift."

Uh…

"Shit."

How did I forget about the present Kaminari gave me? Well if I was being honest with myself, I just shoved it into one of the drawers where I put all my pens and pencils in. The problem was that I never actually opened up this drawer since I always had a pen in my blazer pocket, which meant that I never brought my pencil case with me so I had no way of remembering that Kaminari gave me a present… All in all, I thought it was a pretty good excuse.

"Sorry man," I rubbed the back of my head in shame. "Want me to go and open it right now?" Kaminari shrugged his shoulders in response.

"It's something you can open at any time. It was just what I originally wanted to get you, but since your birthday is in early May it was hard for me to put it together. Especially since we were all out at the time. Now that I was finally able to give it to you, I thought why not."

Hm?

Interesting.

"Jiro, I'm gonna go now," I told her, "I'll see you in a bit, yeah? Ten minutes tops."

"Sure. Come to my room when you are done." She waved goodbye to Kaminari and me, going up the stairs. Yaoyorozu shrugged her shoulders as she went back to reading her book, the sound of five premium chefs cooking up a storm being an odd choice for background music. Oh well, it wasn't my place to judge. I turned to look at Kaminari, who simply shrugged his shoulders as well. Tucking my hands into my pockets, I held back a yawn.

I really needed to fix up my sleep schedule.

"Alright let's go to mine," I told him, the two of us walking up the stairs together. "How expensive was your gift? I mean I got you some cool presents, so it made us even for the figure you got me. But I didn't know that you were going to get me a second present. Now I'm gonna get you another Christmas present." Kaminari picked his nose before he went up to Mineta's room on the first floor and wiped his snot all over his door handle.

"Honestly it was pretty cheap. Like a thousand Yen - literally the price of a school meal. Just buy me lunch tomorrow and we are even. Hell, you don't even have to buy me lunch, it's not like I want anything for it since the present was so cheap in the first place. But hey, if you want to buy me lunch I ain't gonna say no to it, am I?"

"You cheap bastard," I shoved him lightly. "Cheaping out on me? I'll have you know I have millions of Yen. Courtesy of Yaoyorozu Consolidated. If you weren't such a lazy bastard and you went with me, just imagine how much money we would have earned." And how much more money Denji would have still refused. It still weighed on my mind heavily, but I'd deal with it all in only a few more days.

"But why can't I mooch off you instead?"

"Cause I charge interest! Three hundred per cent per minute!"

"That's absurd," I heard Kaminari complain. "Literally running a scam. How the hell have I been best friends with a scam artist for seven months? Honestly, can't you just like, make me your business partner? Just imagine how much money we can get out of Yaomomo."

"Dude?! We don't scam our friends," I told him after punching him in the arm lightly. "We only scam their rich parents who own a company. So, do we agree that scamming Endeavour is our next best move partner?"

"I'm down."

I grinned at that.

"We are like a twisted version of Robin Hood. Stealing from the rich to give to ourselves, the poor. Well not me, I'm just stealing more money to get richer. You're the poor in this scenario." I told him as we reached my door. Jamming my key inside, I unlocked the door and walked right in, taking off my shoes and putting on my fluffy slippers on that I stole from Jiro's room. They were white and looked like a cat.

"Man, I'm still surprised that you have one of the cleanest rooms in the house," Kaminari whistled as he walked in, also taking off his shoes by the door. "Jeez, how often do you clean your room? There is not a single wrapper on the floor, your bed is made, and everything is in order too. Well, your desk looks a little messy but that's because you put your bag there just now!" Opening my third drawer down on my desk, I finally got the present Kaminari had given me when we first moved into the dorm.

"This one, right?"

"Yep. That's the one."

After closing my window, which had been open all day, and turning on the heating, I tore open the wrapping paper. It wasn't that big of a present, and while my first instinct was a game case, it weighed a lot heavier than a plastic case plus it was only slightly bigger than a normal PlayBox case.

Ah.

I smiled down at the gift.

It was the class photo that was taken of us at Mount Kurohoshi. Right before the League had attacked us. I couldn't believe that it was taken three months ago… it felt like yesterday. The picture itself was horrible, I mean Jiro and Kaminari were screaming in each other's faces while Bakugo and I were trying to trip each other up. Even worse was that Yaoyorozu and Iida were caught trying to scold the four of us, which made their faces look funny while Mina, Hagakure and Uraraka blew kisses to the camera trying to seem more mature than they actually are.

What was even funnier was Shoji and Sero trying not to fall over with laughter at the scene, and in the back, you could see that Koda and Tokoyami were trying to make an injured bird fly. Hell, even Mineta had a mugshot taken of him as Kirishima leaned down and put him in a headlock, and while Kirishima was simply photogenic, Mineta was not. Todoroki and Midoriya were simply waving at the camera awkwardly, which made them look like robots in disguise of humans, and I was definitely going to post that for Todoroki's birthday.

All in all, the only two people who actually tried in the picture were Tsuyu and Ojiro.

But by far the funniest part of the photo was Aizawa standing behind all this chaos, his head buried in his hands as if he were trying to escape the madhouse that was his class. It was everyone in 1A in one photo, and not a generic school photo with everyone in their uniforms standing up straight, trying to look as normal as possible without smiling, over a white backdrop taken by an external company that the school hired which sold the pictures extremely overpriced.

This was 1A.

This was my family.

"Kaminari, I-," I paused, putting the frame on top of my desk. Perfect. I turned around to look at my friend, who had a massive grin on his face. This was a great gift and he knew it, which was why he looked all smug about it. Simply put, this was the best present that I had received all year. No amount of buying him lunch would be able to repay him for the picture. "Thanks. I really do mean it, you're a really good friend Denki." He waved me off, wrapping his arm around my neck.

"Aw man, you don't need to say that. You don't have to say anything, 'cause I know that my gift was simply out of this world!" He joked. "But honestly. You don't need to say anything, 'cause I know how you really feel deep down even if you never really show it. You can act like a massive twat sometimes, but we all know that you care! Perks of being best friends with you, I know how to read your mind. Well actually, it's like we share brain cells together."

"You have three brain cells, I have way more than that."

"Ouch," Kaminari feigned being hurt. "Originally I wanted to do this after the sports festival, I mean by then you were already basically like the older brother of the class. But now it's been solidified. I'm glad you didn't leave 1A, Sora. Really glad. Even if you left, it wouldn't be the same. I mean everyone looks up to you, if you just vanished suddenly I feel like our class would be fine, but not if you left."

"Why's that? Ain't that the same thing?" I asked him.

"Come on man, don't make me spell it out for you!" He yelled, but eventually, he sighed, sitting on my bed. "Everyone cares about you. If you left, and you were still trying to be friends with us, eventually we'd drift away - And that would hurt even more." I froze at that. Friends drifting away… yeah, that definitely hurts more than friends just leaving and never seeing them again.

"That's why I stayed. I couldn't just leave 1A and still be friends with you all. I care too much about everyone for that to happen. But you don't think if I just vanished forever that our class would never be the same?" Kaminari shook his head at that.

"Nah. I feel like if you just never spoke to us again after hurting us, we'd get over it. But if you came back to us, apologised, and then just slowly leave our lives because of our different paths in life? Now that would break us apart. Seeing you would then be a reminder of what we once had, something that can only remain in our memories. Honestly, maybe it's why orphans like us are sort of blessed in this way." I tilted my head in confusion at that.

"I mean sure, we don't have parents. Not a full set of em', and for that, we feel lonely," Kaminari explained. "But because of that loneliness, we never got attached to them. So while we want a parent figure, we don't crave them specifically. Maybe. It doesn't tear us apart because they vanished on us quickly and we never saw them again. But if a parent slowly leaves their child, still trying to be a presence in their life but ultimately fading away, it does more harm to the child than the parent, no?"

"Sorta. Who knew you studied psychology."

"He, I've been known to dabble in various subjects," Kaminari boasted. "It just means I have better general knowledge than you do. But yeah, that's basically it Sora. The photo I gave you is a moment in time that no one can take away from you, but I already know that you'll take good care of it. Proof that despite your exterior, all your frowns and foul language, you do have a heart. Ya know. Us. All of us, from that little perverted grape to Aizawa-sensei. And no one can take that away from me, 'cept you. Or like, a big villain that kills us all. Maybe. I don't know how you would react to that."

"Not very well probably." Kaminari nodded at what I said, looking serious for a moment.

"Then let's hope it never happens. But I've said my piece. Nothing else to say, is there? Neither of us is good with this emotional shit, so let's just skip it. We aren't girls to hug each other, and I swear if you try to hug me I will cut your balls off Sora!" I snorted at that, kicking him in the arm.

"Go fuck yourself, you overgrown Pikachu."

"At least I'm a Pikachu! Fuck are you supposed to be, a used showerhead?"

"And I, a used showerhead, get bitches. You, my friend, are bitchless." I grinned at his reaction to that, groaning in frustration as he realised he couldn't think of a comeback to that.

"Whatever," Kaminari tried waving it off. "Anyways, if you ever need me to just stand next to you while you do something, just ask. I already made you a promise that'd help ya! I know you don't like to talk about your problems, you like to think about them until you find a solution usually by bashing your head against the wall until it comes to you. Whenever you look at that picture, I don't want you to think about your friends or something like that. Think about how many of them in that photo are willing to help you before you do something stupid again."

"Yeah, yeah. Got it." I replied. Even if Kaminari could barely see them, my eyes wandered off to the papers on my desk. Yukari Aotsuki's location. I still hadn't visited her, but I had less than three days before the raid, and I didn't want to put it off any longer. But why? Why was I hesitating? Why did I think that going to her would only lead me to feel like I was even more underwater than I already felt? I wanted to go alone, but I…

Right before Kaminari left my room, I tapped him on the shoulders.

"Hm?"

"You, uh, doing anything after tomorrow?" I asked him.

"Well it's a Friday, so we got school."

"What if we, you know, skipped school that day?" I mumbled. "Not for anything bad or something, just, I, um. I need to do something before the raid. Sure I could go with Jiro, but Jiro's headstrong. Really stubborn, not that I'm not, but if she's displeased she'll take it into her own hands. You know how she is, right?"

Kaminari nodded at that.

"So like, I don't want to drag my feet any longer and I really do want to do this. But going with Jiro is going to make things harder on me," I told him, which was the truth. Jiro would involve herself in my business, and while I loved her for that, it was not what I wanted this time. "So do you wanna' come with? You don't have to do anything, just like wait outside for me while I speak to someone. It'll be like ten minutes tops. Probably. Very likely. Most likely. I assume it will be ten minutes, but it may run a little over."

"Cool. Who are you going to visit?"

"My… A woman called Yukari. She's supposed to be my biological mother." Kaminari's face dropped. Usually, my friend was easy to read since he wore his emotions on his sleeve, but this time he became unexpectedly difficult to read. Maybe it was the fact that his carefree smile was wiped off his face, or that his eyes narrowed or even the fact that he looked more serious than ever before.

"I see," Even though his tone of voice was different, the usual playfulness of his tone had changed into something entirely different. I'll… be there for you. I'm gonna go now, I got to catch up on homework if I'm going to skip school on Friday then. I'll see you soon." And with that Kaminari closed my door, leaving me alone in my room. I sighed, plopping down on my chair and resting my head against my desk. I was staring right at the photo, or rather I was staring at myself in the photo.

Happy.

Three months ago I was a different person.

Before all… before everything else happened. Not to say I wasn't happy now, but to say that I didn't still feel weird ever since I came back would be a lie. Nothing was the same as before. No, I wasn't the same, everything else hadn't changed. It really did feel like I was underwater, and then after a while, I'd feel numb. But was what I was feeling numbness? Or was it something else? I didn't know the answers to that or even what was going on with me. The… 'anxiety attacks' or whatever they were supposed to be, and now this.

Sure, I probably should have gone to Hound Dog, but I'm fine.

I'm good.

It's not a decision I needed to, or ever will have to make.

Maybe I could have told Jiro instead. Or Kaminari? Anyone in 1A would listen to me, and I knew that. But that's not what I did. I just went with the flow, I kept everything bottled up, and it was leading to whatever was happening to me right now. But why? Why did I do this? Was it because I didn't trust them? No, I trusted them, if I didn't they wouldn't even be my friends. So then what was it? Despite doing what Kaminari said, staring into the picture, why couldn't I go tell them about how I felt?

Was it because it was 'unmanly'?

No.

Was it because I was afraid?

But what would I be afraid of?

My frown must have deepened since my face started to hurt. Or maybe it was the fact that half of my face was lying down on a cold wooden desk that was quite uncomfortable. But for the life of me, even as I thought of everything, I still couldn't find a reason as to why I hadn't told anyone about how I felt. About why even though Jiro could have been told the truth, I simply just refused to tell her.

It wasn't about me being ready, it was just…

I sighed.

'Admiration is the furthest thing from understanding.'

Denji's words rang through my ears once again, and this time I could sort of understand where he was coming from. Everyone in 1A did admire me, they did look up to me. It was my decision to get so heavily involved in their lives, to try and help them for my carefree tomorrow, but the result of that was everyone thinking I was a dependable person. That I was someone to emulate, an older sibling. Kaminari was right, my original plan of leaving 1A was far too shortsighted.

I didn't consider it from their point of view, not really.

And I did exactly the same with my old friends. The real reason Denji didn't reach out to me wasn't that he was angry at me for being a bad friend, he didn't think that at all. In his own stubborn way, he was trying to protect me. If he really did know about the raid, then trying to get me to save him and his friends would put me away from the fighting. If I were in his position, I'd probably do the exact same.

That was who I was.

Sure, I knew that leaving 1A them would hurt the class, but I thought they would get over it quickly. But these past seven months - I did more than just be a normal friend. I went above and beyond for them all, and they all knew it. Naturally, they'd come to depend on me, I knew that was going to happen when I first helped Todorki at the Sports Festival. When I saved Iida. When I helped Midoriya get over his fears. When I sat down and actually grew close to everyone when I learnt things about them.

Why they wanted to be a hero.

About their past, their fears and what they wanted in the future.

So why then did looking back on it all feel so… empty? Three months ago I wasn't concerned about looking at the past, I was always looking ahead. What was to come, what to do next, and who I needed to help. But ever since I came back from learning the 'truth' I wasn't doing that, and I didn't even realise it. These three months made me realise that despite all that, how had I grown?

I learnt the truth, sure, but that didn't change me.

All I did these past few months was question myself, I never actually started to change. No, the last time I had really changed was in middle school when Fujiwara-sensei sat me down and told me plainly how wrong I had been at the time. Ever since then I had been fuelled by that. I wanted to not return to the same person that pushed others away that I had looped back around to how I was.

Everyone admired me to the point where I pushed them away because they would never understand me. It wouldn't be a stretch to say that ever since I met with All For One, ever since his death, I was unable to move on. I was still stuck in that room where All For One shattered everything. In that room, filled with only the truth and my thoughts, I was still drowning.

I was simply… going through the motions.

I became quite passive about everything for a few months.

Until now.

Until I found out Denji was a part of the Shie Hassaikai, that they developed a new drug that I was sure wasn't a part of canon. The man Hojo and Aizawa named Azrael, the one who created it. I hadn't met them, but I was sure that they were like me. Another person having been broken by what All For One did to us. The more test subjects I met, the more I was convinced that dying and being brought back to life completely ruined us.

Nanao had attached herself to the idea of justice to an unhealthy amount. To the point where she's turned her back on justice for what she thinks is right. Yozora was similar, he felt like he was the culmination of everything humanity had to offer thus he was providing our ultimate test, to either be the good or evil that we think we are. Both were broken under the pressure of potentially going back to All For One to be experimented on once again.

It twisted them into who they were today.

Much like how I didn't know much about Hachi, or even potentially Azrael, I could see how All For One affected them as well. In Hachi's case, she was running to become the Prime Minister at such a young age - She was choosing to be responsible instead of living a happy life because of her experiences. And presumably, in Azrael's case, they were broken by what All For One did to them to the point that they joined the yakuza and became a prominent member of the Shie Hassaikai.

And then we had Tokage. She was still ignoring me after what I did to her, and I couldn't blame her. All For One's actions had made her admire her mother to an obsessive degree, she put her on a pedestal and wanted to avenge her. To find out the truth. It was easy to see that Tokage didn't have a good relationship with her parents in her last life, that's why she latched on to her mother to an unhealthy extent in this life.

And she was wrong.

Her mother experimented on other children and her own child, leading to Tokage. She didn't want conflict, not really, all she wanted to do was have a nice and easy life with her friends. But that could never happen, not with All For One about and so she was dragged back in and learnt the horrific truth about what really happened. I didn't have to be a mind reader to know that it broke her.

And then... Zero.

He had been with All For One the longest and even stabbed him in the back. Even if I didn't have any proof, I just knew that he was involved in his death, he had to be! All For One had broken Zero, had twisted him into something unrecognisable. Zero wasn't just a villain or a misguided man, he was marching down a path that he believed was right. Zero thought he could save us, the people that All For One had broken.

And then me.

What didn't All For One break? My will to fight? The love I held for myself? All For One ruined me. And I was running away from that fact, I had been doing that for months. No, for years. In a sense, wasn't I using others as justification to kill myself? To run into danger? To fight until I couldn't do so anymore? Why? Why did I do that? I didn't know the answer, but deep down I knew that I didn't want to know why.

I was so broken that I spoke to myself.

I had other 'sides' to me that tried to take control of my body.

How was I supposed to live? The truth was that All For One probably never planned on letting me live. I was supposed to be a punishment for Yukari Aotsuki after all. A curse after her original child was taken away. Either Yukari was supposed to have died before I was born, or she was supposed to have killed me herself. But that didn't happen. For some reason, Yukari escaped.

She gave birth to me and left.

My entire life was just an accident. It was because All For One was curious as to how I would turn out, that was why even though I was the 'Fourteenth' I had no number on my body. I shouldn't even be alive right now. Which was why I was so confused as to why Denji was trying to emulate me. As to why Denji was trying to save me by acting like me. I was broken. Could I even be saved?

Was coming back to 1A really the right option?

There it was.

The question I had been dying to ask ever since I came back. One that I had no answer for. Because I didn't make that decision, Jiro did. Everyone in 1A made that decision, not me. I was already set on leaving, on taking Zero's deal that if I left that they would be protected. Zero still left that deal open for me, even back then he knew that All For One had killed me on the inside.

That was why this time was different.

The fact that the Shie Hassaikai knew about the raid meant someone had told them, and I doubted that Zero would do it. With Azrael's sudden appearance, a new drug and this information it was easy to guess as to why. But it also meant that the raid would be for everyone that I care about, which meant that I had something to look ahead to. I knew what was to come, the raid, and what I needed to do, to prevent anything bad from happening.

And I had people who I needed to help - protect - Denji and everyone else who I knew at the raid.

But this time it felt so different.

In the same way, I couldn't understand what was happening to me, my feelings and whatever was happening to me which definitely wasn't 'anxiety attacks' I couldn't put my finger on what was different. Usually, I'd say out loud that I'd protect everyone and that would be it. But if I did that now, I doubted my words right away. I doubted that I had the will to do it.

That I was strong enough to do it.

That I was a good enough friend to save them.

Realistically, I should have spoken about these doubts to someone and not ignored them, not let them fester in my mind until now. Because recognising them doesn't mean shit, they'll still be there and I'll still not understand it.

So then…

What was stopping me from going down to Jiro's room and telling her all this?

Why were my feet planted firmly on my floor? Why did I not want to leave my chair? Why was my mouth glued shut? Why was my body not going downstairs and telling her everything? Surely it would make everything back to normal, right? Sure, at the end of the day it was my decision to come back to 1A despite wanting to originally leave, even if they were the reasons why the decision wasn't mine, to begin with, but that didn't mean I had to do it all alone. I thought the fact that I came back to 1A was me accepting that it's alright to ask for help.

That I don't need to do this alone.

So why did I feel more alone than ever? I asked myself that constantly ever since I came back. Ever since I moved into the dorms. And yet I still shrugged it off. I still ignored it, I thought I was irrational, I thought I was being stupid. Just what was preventing me from feeling the same way I did when this fucking picture was taken? The carefree smiles, the blind faith in everyone. Why was that gone? Even though I trusted everyone, why did I feel like… like…

Like they don't understand me.

That their love for me makes it harder for them to connect with me.

Not Aozora, the hero that goes over the top for his friends and family!

But for Sora Yamazaki. The boy who died and was born again due to the cruelty of one man. 1A would never understand because of their blind faith and admiration in me, they wanted to pick me up after I had fallen. And it was suffocating me. The reason why I felt like I was underwater wasn't just because of my emotions, because of the 'truth' All For One revealed to me, it was also because of 1A.

They were still kids and as such, they couldn't give up on me. They didn't want to. Nighteye and Aizawa were right, there was a difference between Midoriya and myself. The boundless optimism and hope he had was something I never held. I had died bitter after all, and I held those bitter feelings in my heart even as I started a new life. That was what really created Kurai, wasn't it?

…

Still no response.

Whatever was plaguing me was annoying, but there was nothing I could do about it. It doesn't matter anyway, since the raid doesn't need Sora Yamazaki. It needs Aozora. I can put a mask on whatever this is, I can hide it because it's not an issue. Not really. I don't need to accept it because it doesn't bother me. I'm fine. It'll eventually pass, it's just like a cold, and there is nothing wrong with that. This is nothing, just a period in my life where little to nothing has happened. And the decisions I've made weren't wrong. They just weren't.

And that was the truth.

---

"You don't have to do this," Kaminari told me as we approached the building. "We can always just turn back if you want."

Tomitsukacho, Musutafu, Shizouka prefecture 432-8002.

"I need to do this. I got questions, and I'm going to get my answers." I replied, looking up. She was on the fourth floor, apartment fifteen. Luckily for me, the door was open to the apartment, well to be fair I had waited until someone had opened it and ran as fast as I could to catch the food before it closed. It was around ten in the morning, so she probably should be getting ready to go to work. But her profile hadn't said anything about work, so I assumed she was unemployed.

To be fair, the apartment complex she lived in was expensive. Probably in the hundred million Yen range if I had to take a guess.

"And what if the answers you get aren't ones you like?"

"I'm fine with that too. If you want you could come up with me."

Kaminari looked conflicted at that.

"...I'll stay down here. But if you take longer than twenty minutes, I'm going to buy food. Got it?" I nodded at him, tossing him my bike keys before I fully entered the building. It was extremely nice, with gold ornaments on the stairs. They even had a reception area which was cool. I walked passed that to go to the elevator before I realised I needed a key to actually call it down. I sighed, looking at the stairs. Four floors. I resisted the urge to get a cigarette out and start smoking, only because I knew that the fire alarms would trigger right away.

Walking over to the stairs, I looked all the way up and whistled.

Twelve floors.

Jeez, I'm lucky she didn't live above the sixth floor or else I wouldn't have even tried to get up them. I really am a lazy fuck sometimes. I wondered what her reaction would be to seeing me. Surprise? Annoyance? Furthermore, how the hell would I even start the conversation?!

'Oh hello, do you by any chance remember your tenure as a scientist experimenting on children? Yes, the one with All For One. Well, I'm here to tell you that the little bastard he forced on you is standing right at your door.'

I sniggered at that, purely because I knew that it would probably lead her to start screaming and calling the police on me. Probably. I didn't know her, so I didn't have any clue as to how she would react. Maybe she'd be really nice and offer me, sweets? I doubt it, but it would be pretty cool. And nice. Eventually, I made my way to the fourth floor, and at least I wasn't sweating heavily yet. Then and again, I was wearing like four layers of clothes.

There was still snow outside.

But maybe I should have taken off my coat when I came inside.

Tsk.

Time to find apartment fifteen. My hands started to feel clammy as I went down one hallway, reaching all the way to the end. Wrong hallway. These were apartments sixteen to twenty, which made me turn all the way back around and walk into the other corridor. I swallowed my bile, hopefully, I wouldn't vomit when I saw her. That would be embarrassing. But why would I be vomiting anyways? Did I have an, even more, worse cold than I thought?

Ten…

Eleven…

Twelve…

Thirteen…

Fourteen…

F-fifteen.

A standard oak wood door with a silver handle. The number that was stuck onto the door was also silver, and to be honest it looked nice. This was the final apartment on this end of the corridor, which was rather cool. I mean it was a journey and a half using the stairs, but I'm sure it was nice and easy with the elevator. Okay Sora, this is easy. You can do this. I raised up my fist to knock on her door, I wasn't going to be a Reject x Reject anymore-,

"Tomoya? Mashiro?" My breath hitched in my throat as I heard that voice. That same voice from all those years ago. I slowly raised my arm down, making sure to be as still and quiet as possible so I could hear everything. "Come on you two! I know you said you were sick so you didn't want to go to school, but that doesn't mean you can skip breakfast to play games all day!"

"But mummy, we've nearly finished Spider-Boy! Look we are going to start the final mission."

"You can start it after you've eaten your cereal. The both of you." Yukari said sternly to her children. It was as if I lost all functions in my legs as I fell to the ground, raising my hand up yet again to knock. I couldn't even look at the door. My head was turned so I didn't have to stare at it.

"Mum," a small girl started. "Why do we have to eat breakfast?"

"So you can grow up and be strong and healthy."

"But why? We aren't old yet."

"But you will be. So eating cereal every morning makes you grow, and then when you are old I won't complain about you eating breakfast. You will be able to play games for a whole day then, okay?"

I heard some shuffling on the other side of the door, along with two chairs being dragged across the floor. Two children… They were younger than me. A lot younger than me, by about ten years at least. I had seen from her medical profile that she had re-married, but I didn't think… it didn't say anything about her having a new family. I thought that after her original child, the one All For One tortured and the one Zero killed, as well as me, would have turned her off kids forever.

"Mummy! I know that daddy is busy, and so are you, but why do we have to have a nanny when you aren't here?"

"It's to protect you, Tomoya. What would happen if you fell and hurt yourself, but no one was here to help you? Since you're still my baby, the both of you, someone needs to look after you. If daddy or I can't do it, then Aunt Mei will come and visit. You like Aunt Mei, don't you?"

"No!" The little girl shouted loudly. "Aunt Mei is mean. She tells us eating sweets is bad for our teeth. And that playing games isn't useful." I heard Yukari chuckle, and smile. She was smiling. I heard movement as she hugged both of her children, kissing them on the head.

"Well then, if you don't want Aunt Mei to watch over you, who would you rather do so?"

"Eijun says his older brother is cool! Why can't we have an older brother?" The boy, Tomoya, asked. "He'd let us eat sweets all the time! And play games with us! Like the ones you never let us play! And, and, he'll be way cooler than Eijun's brother. Why can't we have one?"

"But I want an older sister!" The girl, Mashiro, yelled back at her brother. "She'd help me with my hair, we could play dress up and family together. Oh and we could go buy things, and our sister will like pretty things. Mum, can we get an older sister for Christmas?"

"No! I want a brother for Christmas!"

…

Knock damn it, just knock!

My hand was suspended in mid-air, but no matter how much I wanted to do it, no matter how much I wanted to knock, I just couldn't. I lowered my hand and covered my mouth so I wouldn't make even a single sound.

"You two really want an older sibling, don't you?"

"Yeah!" Both the kids yelled at the same time.

"You know… when I was younger before I met your father and before you two little angels came into my life, I had another family."

"Huh?"

"No way!"

"Yes. Now you two are my children, and you always will be. But you two had an older sibling. Raiden. They were my first child, and I'm sure if they were here with me, they'd love you two a lot as well. I'm sure of it."

"Where is Raiden? Can we meet him, mummy?"

"I don't know."

"Mum? Is Raiden in the place where granny went to? The nice place in the sky?"

"...I d-don't know." I heard Yukari stutter, trying to hide her sobs. My heart sank. She didn't even know if her firstborn was alive…

"Mummy? Mummy, why are you crying?"

"Oh, it's nothing Mashiro. It's just rain, I'm not crying. Daddy must have left the windows open again."

"Huh? But why would Dad do that? Mum, when he comes back from work I'm going to show him who's boss! Hyah! Hyah!" Yukari giggled at that, and even if I couldn't see Tomoya, I assume he was trying to fight the air. A smiled at that, even if this door was in the way I could imagine it.

"Tomoya, do you remember what Daddy and I said for you not to do?"

"Not flush the toilet?"

"No. Well yes, but no. We also said for you to never start a fight. Only bullies start fights, and bullies are mean people. But most important of all, you have a job."

"Eh?"

"To protect Mashiro, your younger sister."

"Eh? Why do I have to do that?"

"Because you are her brother. I'm sure if Raiden were here, they would tell you the same thing. Didn't you want a cool older sibling? Then act like how they would," Yukari scolded her son before I heard her kiss him on the forehead. Judging by Tomoya's reaction, he hugged his mother fiercely. "Aha! I got you now, Tomoya! You always say you don't want my hugs or kisses, but then you are the first one to hug and kiss me!"

"...I don't want to share you. Can you tell Mashiro to go away?"

"Tomoya. She's your sister."

"But she's a baby."

"You two are both my babies."

"Am not!"

"Yes, you are. If you aren't a baby, then why don't you stop hugging me and leave me all to Mashiro then?"

Silence.

"That's what I thought. You and Mashiro are both my little babies. It's not fair for me to be nice to one of you and not the other. I love you both equally."

"What about Raiden, mummy? Do you love them as much as us?"

"I-, well that's different."

"Why?"

"Raiden… isn't here. I haven't seen them since they were two, and they couldn't even speak! You two are six, do you remember what it was like being two?"

"No! Mummy, I can't remember being two! Is that bad? Mummy?"

"That's normal, Mashiro. No one remembers when they are two. So Raiden won't remember me. But I still love Raiden, and so should you! They are your older brother and older sister. They might be here with you right now, but I believe they are with you in your heart. Raiden can be whatever you want them to be."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Yay! Can we go play with Raiden?"

"Wait. Mum. Do we have another sibling?"

…

"Yes."

I stared at the door, waiting to hear what would come next.

"You have another sibling. A brother. He should be around sixteen by now, so he's ten years older than you."

"Wow… that's old!"

"Tomoya! Raiden is old too! Wait, Mummy, how old is Raiden?"

"Eighteen."

"So big bro and Raiden are sixteen and eighteen? Wow. I wonder how tall they must be? What does big bro like? Does big bro play games? Where is big bro? Mum?" I heard Tomoya ask her mother, but he got no reply. "Mum? Hello? Mashiro, is something wrong with mum?"

"Mummy?" The little girl asked her mother. "Mummy, are you okay? Mummy, why are you crying? Or is it the rain from Daddy's window again?" Yukari sniffled, and I heard her get up from her chair as she blew her nose. I then heard footsteps as she walked back to her kids, sitting down next to them once more.

"Big bro, huh? Why do you call him that?" Yukari asked her son.

"'Cause you said he's big bro, so now he's big bro!" Tomoya said as if it was simple. Yukari giggled at her son's antics.

"Mummy, what's big bro's name? Or is he just called big bro?"

"Sora. His name is Sora."

"Sora? As in the blue sky?"

"Yes, Mashiro, like the blue sky. I see you've been studying hard."

"Ms Chiyo said I was top of the class!"

"Why is big bro called Sora?"

"Well, Tomoya, unlike you and Mashiro's blonde hair, Sora was born with light blue hair. Almost silvery in the light. So I named him after the sky."

"Wow! Why does big bro have blue hair?"

"Because of his daddy."

"But we don't have blue hair? Mummy, why don't we have blue hair even though we have a daddy?"

"Sora and Raiden have a different daddy from you two. Sora's the only one with blue hair because his daddy had blue hair, but your daddy doesn't have blue hair so you don't have it. Do you understand?"

"Sorta. So if we don't have the same dads, are Sora and Raiden our siblings?"

"Yes. But they are called half-siblings. But they are still your siblings, Tomoya."

"Mummy, can we meet Sora?"

I-,

I leaned forward, pressing my ear against the door.

"Sora… Sora's different, Mashiro. I don't think Sora would want to meet me anyways."

"Why?"

"I-, Mummy did a very bad thing to Sora. Mummy was scared, and she hurt Sora a lot. She knows that and that's why Mummy let Sora go, but what Mummy did still hurts Sora even now. And so that's why you can't meet Sora because then he'll get hurt even more. You don't want to hurt your big bro, do you?"

"Nu-uh! I wanna be a hero, like Hawks! Pow! Pow! Hawks don't hurt people, so I don't want to hurt big bro! But can we really not meet him?" Tomoya asked Yukari once more.

"How about this, if you and Mashiro get the highest grades in your class on the next test, I'll try and see if Sora wants to meet you two. Got it?" I heard Tomoya and Mashiro cheer excitedly.

"Yay! But Mummy, can I ask you something?"

"Anything you want, Mashiro."

"Why did you hurt Sora?"

It felt like my entire body froze as I heard Mashiro ask that question. It was the question I wanted to ask her the most, after all, she abandoned me. Why? It was the one question that had been running through my mind ever since it happened. I didn't hold it against her, maybe when I was younger, but not now. Not after everything I learnt from All For One about her. How she was forced to have me while her only child became a lab rat, one that she would never see again.

She didn't even know if they were alive or dead.

"There was a very bad man. He was my boss, but he was very mean. One day, I did something that he didn't like, which led to me and my friend getting fired. My friend was angry at me, so she left and continued to do the work we were doing on her own, but my boss didn't let me go. Raiden was the only one left, Raiden's daddy had died before they were born, but they took Raiden away from me. And they hurt Raiden a lot."

"Why did they hurt Raiden? Mum, where is the bad guy? I wanna fight him!"

"Tomoya, the bad guy is gone now. You can't fight him, but thank you for being my little hero. Anyways, the bad man took Raiden away from me. So I was sad, and I continued with the work I had to do before I was fired, but by force. I didn't want to work, but I had to. It's like how I force you two to brush your teeth at night. And that work led to Sora."

"Brushing teeth leads to babies?" Mashiro asked her mother, confused.

"That's a story for another day," Yukari replied, clearly amused by what her daughter just said given her tone of voice. It was upbeat. "But as I was saying, I didn't want to work but Sora came from that work. When I was finally free, I didn't know what to do. I wanted to look for Raiden, but I couldn't find them. All I had was Sora… and I took it out unfairly on him. I regret it. Maybe if I wasn't mean to Sora, you'd have your big bro sitting here. I thought Sora was a curse, and I-, I-, I-,"

Yukari burst into tears, sobbing and moaning loudly. I heard her children try to calm her down to no avail, but I heard her hug both Tomoya and Mashiro tightly. To the point where they started to complain about how uncomfortable it was. It made me laugh actually, although it was a quiet laugh so they wouldn't hear.

I heard enough.

I got up from the floor, smiling sadly at the door. If I knocked, Tomoya and Mashiro would meet their 'big bro.' The older sibling the two desperately wanted and begged their mother to get them for Christmas. Yukari would see me again, I'm sure she'd burst into tears once more after looking at how I've grown. I found friends that care for me a lot, not to mention I attend U.A and am training to be a hero. I'm sure she'd be proud of me for all that, and probably a hell of a lot more.

But…

I turned away from the door, stuffing my hands into my pockets as I walked back to the stairs. That ship had long sailed. I had my own family. Gekko and Hinata were my parents. Yukari would just be that to me - Yukari Aotsuki. She would never be 'mum' or 'mummy'. Whoever her husband was would never come close to replacing Gekko, hell they wouldn't even be able to close the gap on the stories Aizawa told me about Oboro when they were younger.

And Tomoya and Mashiro…

They weren't Miwa.

Miwa was my little sister. An annoying little shit that got lippy to me most of the time, a pervert that asked me how big all guys in my class's cocks were. She hogged the TV when I was home, not to mention having an hour routine in the bathroom every morning and night which meant I had to get up extra early and go to bed extra late. And she wanted to be a doctor so she could treat me when I did something dangerous. I had thirteen years' worth of memories with her.

I don't need them in my life.

Yukari might feel guilty, but that wasn't my problem. She had a good life, with a husband and two cute kids. She didn't need to think about me, or my elder sibling, Raiden. I'm sixteen, and Raiden's eighteen - We were quite literally born in different decades to her children. Even if I knocked on that door, it would be hard for me to relate to them. They were six, but I was sixteen. At best I'd see them once a month, if not even that.

I didn't need or want Yukari Aotsuki, Tomoya or Mashiro in my life.

My hectic life was dangerous enough as is. I had my own problems, and that would inevitably clash with Yukari and her family. As much as knocking on that door would make them happy, as much as it would be a dream for them now - What about their carefree tomorrow? It would be selfish for me to walk into their lives, ruin them and then walk away. I wasn't going to do that.

I exited the building to see Kaminari leaning against a lamppost, on his phone.

"Yo." I waved at him.

"Yo," He waved back. "How was it? Meeting your mother?"

"I didn't meet her," I told him, getting my motorbike keys off him. "I don't need to meet her. Like ever."

"What about your questions?"

"I don't really need them all answered."

"That's… strange coming from you. I mean you skipped school for just this? But oh well, as long as you are happy." Kaminari shrugged his shoulders, the two of us walking over to where my bike was parked. When it came to Yukari, I was happy with how this ended. She had a good life without me, and I didn't want to intrude on that because I had a good life without her as well.

Not to mention Raiden…

The sibling that All For One took from her. Her first child, the one that was experimented on, the one that stayed with All For One and was killed by Zero. I'd never meet them, but I didn't have the heart to tell her the truth. That Raiden was dead. But it wouldn't be fair on me to go to Yukari and be accepted, not without Raiden, the one who had everything ripped away from them because of All For One's cruelty.

I couldn't do that.

I had my own pride.

It was better off this way.

That was my final decision.

And for once I could see how selfish I was.

I dared not to look in the mirror of my motorbike because I knew that the person that would stare back...

He would be a monster.

A monster that was drowning in the abyss.

---

Hm.

A weird chapter, but one that I feel is extremely important. There are a lot of flags being waved currently, and I felt the need to address them. Perhaps the metaphor for Sora 'drowning' has been played out by now, but honestly, it's a brilliant description of him and his feelings in the current section of the story. Do NOT take what he's thinking as pure facts, he IS UNRELIABLE.

Because he is judging himself he can't be truthful, not when he can't even accept himself.

The true purpose of not only this chapter, but all of these past few chapters, is to give you an insight into how broken Sora has become. Before he was fine, if a bit unstable, but now the balance has truly tipped and there is no going back. I'd liken it to Ichigo after Ulquiorra was defeated, so afraid of himself that he wasn't able to do anything for a while.

But Sora is entering the raid with a conflicted mind and heart.

This isn't how he usually does things, so what will happen next?

Now you know why the raid is so important and why it'll cap off Part 1.

And of course, this chapter includes the last appearance of many characters within Part 1 of the story. Predominately 1A members that aren't involved in the raid. But even then, only one will really be important as to how it all unfolds. Maybe this chapter includes some final interactions between certain characters... maybe not.

Now time for your reviews!

Vulmos88: I didn't realise that either. I've only played Cold Steel 1 and 2, but Yaoyorozu is definitely Laura. I assume by the company stuff you are talking about the Reinfords in general? Truth be told I had been planning an arc centred around Yaoyorozu and her family company for a long time. There are tons of hints and foreshadowing of the state of her family and the company if you reread all scenes with her.

But Sora being Rean is interesting? Who does that make Crow then? :)

AND THAT's IT FOR ALL THE REVIEWS!

This is reminding me of early on in this story when I would get 1 review per chapter, which is just disheartening honestly. Not for me, but for other authors that believe more reviews = better stats. I got thousands of people reading my latest chapters, like usual, I just get lesser reviews for whatever reason. It doesn't bother me because I can check my statistics to see that I'm doing even better compared to before.

So thanks!

These next five-ish chapters will be a rollercoaster so I hope you stick to your seats as the final section of Part 1 will unfold!

I've been waiting for years to share this with you all!