Chapter 45

Sick Day's

Harry slept nearly the whole next day. Snape had woken him a couple of times to take his potions but mostly he had slept. It was now late evening and Harry was wide awake. He thought he might have a fever.

Rubbing his eyes he looked around his room and noticed two dishes on the floor near the door. Harry startled and looked around for Edgar. When he didn't see him immediately, he climbed out of bed.

"Edgar." Harry called in a low whisper.

He had no idea if Snape was up or not.

The lights in his room were off and only the light from the slightly open door spilled into his room from the hall. Harry tip toed around the bed making light clicking noises. His head felt dizzy standing and he found himself grabbing for the bed to keep himself upright.

With a sigh he wondered if Snape had put him out. There was a light pitter patter of rain hitting his window. Harry felt slight tears sting his eyes at the thought of the little fur ball being back out in the rain.

Harry held on to the wall as he walked to the door. He needed to use the restroom. He hoped he could be quiet about it. He was thankful that Snape had let him stay the day. However, he was still planning to head back to the Sundown. He knew this was not how Snape wanted to spend his summer holiday.

The hall felt like it was swaying with how much his head was spinning. Like being in an endless floo. By the time he reached the bathroom he had to sit down. He hadn't even made it into the room and found himself leaning against the wall, praying he wouldn't start vomiting. He closed his eyes and quickly found that it wasn't helping. He realized it was also getting hard to breathe.

Harry held out his hand and summoned his inhaler from his room. He took several deep breaths before he thought his breathing was mostly back to normal.

Fearing he would end up wetting himself in the hallway, he rolled onto his knees and crawled into the bathroom before shutting the door.

Harry stood at the top of the staircase taking deep breaths. He had managed to use the toilet and wash his hands and face. He'd realized he was still in 'just Harry' form but knew he didn't have the strength to shift. Now, however, he was attempting to go down to the kitchen. He wanted a glass of water and perhaps some crackers if Snape had any. His backpack was mostly empty now of snacks and the ones he had sounded too heavy for his stomach. He would replace anything he ate and hopefully Snape wouldn't mind.

Holding on tightly to the railing Harry slowly made his way down the stairs. When he reached the bottom, he heard a noise in the sitting room. Curious, he held onto the wall and walked to the doorway.

Harry was surprised by the sight. Snape was in his armchair with his head propped awkwardly on one hand. His eyes were closed, and he was softly snoring. His other hand was laying on Edgar who was curled up in the man's lap, also asleep.

Harry smiled softly. He wished he had a camera. He wasn't sure what it was about seeing the usually stern man like this, but it made him happy.

With one last glance Harry headed for the kitchen.

The hall was not exceedingly long but by the time he had reached the sink his whole body was shaking. He briefly wondered if he had ever been this sick in his life but quickly dispelled that thought, remembering times he'd been this sick and his relatives had still expected him to cook and keep house.

Harry held on to the sink tightly for a moment. Trying to will away the memories and current shakiness. He just wanted a sip of water and then he'd go back to bed, he promised himself.

He took a deep breath and reached out for the cabinet, thankful that it no longer squeaked. He pulled down a glass and filled it. He was frustrated when the shaking in his hands caused some of the water to run down the side of the glass and onto his hand.

With a sigh he turned off the tap and moved to lean against the counter. He closed his eyes and drank the water down. The cool water felt so soothing against his dry, sore throat. He opened his eyes with a sigh when the glass was empty.

He refilled the glass and started to make the slow trek back to the stairs. Halfway down the hall his dizziness came back in force. His mouth began to water, and his stomach gave a heaving jolt. Harry dropped the glass in his hand and covered his mouth. He flinched when the glass shattered into a hundred tiny pieces and the water soaked his pajama bottoms and feet.

Harry fell to his knees. His body started to shake as he ran his hand through the water to collect the glass. He felt the sharp shards pierce his skin but paid it no mind. He needed to get it cleaned up before someone saw the mess. His stomach gave another jolt and he found himself vomiting down the front of his shirt and on to the floor.

Harry felt his body rocked by a sob. He tried to muffle the sound. He didn't want to get locked up again. He didn't want to be in the dark. He was so close to the cupboard. They would throw him in there and lock the door. He'd be stuck in these wet, soiled clothes until they let him out. He just wanted to lay down.

Another sob was cut off by his stomach lurching again. Tears ran down his face. Then he heard steps in front of him and looked up in fear. His body shook. He hadn't meant to make a mess. He just wanted to go back to sleep.

"I'm sorry." Harry cried.

Severus jolted awake to the sound of breaking glass. He was on his feet a moment later wand in hand. The cat that had previously been asleep in his lap was now glaring at him from the floor. He listened for a moment and realized he could hear something in the hall.

"Immobulus." Severus whispered, casting at the cat. He didn't need the furball tripping him, or yowling and letting an intruder know where he was.

He whispered a silencing spell at his feet and walked towards the doorway. When he reached it, he glanced towards the front door and the office. when he saw nothing, he chanced a glance towards the stairs and the kitchen.

Then he saw Harry.

The boy was kneeling on the floor in a puddle of what looked like water and vomit, crying. His hands were bleeding and his whole body was shaking.

Severus took two long strides towards him. Harry looked up and he froze in place. His face was covered in tears and snot and vomit. Honestly, it was disgusting. But what stood out most were the fearful green eyes.

"I'm sorry." Harry cried.

Severus swallowed hard. Harry was terrified. He realized he needed to manage this carefully. He had made mistakes last time he had frightened the boy. He wouldn't do it again. On impulse Severus kneeled down where he stood.

"It's okay." Severus said softly. He kept his hands down and his voice quiet.

Harry was still shaking, and Severus took a deep breath.

"I would like to help you. Would that be okay?" Severus asked.

Harry just stared at him for a long moment. Severus could see the shine of sweat on his face and his cheeks where cherry red. His fever had obviously comeback. Finally, Harry shrugged and nodded a little.

Severus nodded back and gave him a slight smile.

"Okay. I'm going to vanish the mess and then will get you cleaned up. All right?" Severus said.

Harry nodded as a fresh wave of tears trickled down his face.

Severus raised his wand slightly and with a muttered spell vanished everything from the floor. He cast a quick scourgify as well then looked at Harry again.

"See, the mess is gone." Severus said softly.

Severus had faced abused children before and many of them in moments of panic reverted to a noticeably young mindset. He wasn't sure that was true for Harry. However, keeping his voice soft and calm could only help in this situation.

Harry looked at the floor and then at his bleeding hands.

"I see you hurt yourself on the glass. We'll get that cleaned up. Can I come closer?" Severus asked.

Harry cast a fearful glance at him before looking back down and nodding.

Severus could see just how taunt the boy was holding himself. Ready to flee at a moment's notice. He could also see just how shaky he was. He was unsure if it was from fear or illness or a combination of both. He would move slowly in either case.

With another deep breath he stood and took a few more steps towards Harry. He didn't want to loom over him, so he kneeled once again when he was standing in front of Harry.

Severus held out his hand and to his surprise Harry placed his right hand in his palm.

Severus gave him a soft smile and raised his wand. He ran the tip near the small slices in Harry's hand and healed them leaving faint pink scars.

When his right hand was healed Harry held out his left.

"Doesn't hurt." Harry mumbled as he inspected his right hand.

"That's good. May I cast a cleaning charm at your clothes?" Severus asked.

Again, there was hesitation, but he eventually nodded.

Severus cast the charm and the boy's face and clothing. They were now clean, though the smell still lingered. He would need a bath and fresh clothing but at least for the moment he was cleaner and dry.

"Is that better?" Severus asked.

Harry nodded.

"I'm really sorry." Harry said softly looking Severus in the eye.

The fear and remorse that was shining in his eyes was heartbreaking.

"It was just an accident. They happen. I'm not mad and you're not in trouble." Severus tried to reassure.

Harry looked wary but nodded.

Severus stood and held out his hand. He smiled softly when he felt Harry take it. Severus pulled him up and he swayed quite a bit.

"Are you dizzy?" Severus asked.

Harry nodded a little.

"Okay. Let's get you back upstairs." Severus said moving his hand from Harrys hand up to his upper arm.

Harry was very shaky on his feet, but they managed to make it up the stairs. When they got to the hall Severus began to lead Harry towards the bathroom. He stopped when he felt the muscles under his hand stiffen.

"Harry, you need to get cleaned up." Severus said softly.

Harry nodded but he still seemed stiff. Severus sucked in a deep breath. He remembered Harry telling him about his uncle's attempt to drown him. He also knew that the bathroom was a rather private place for most people. Not wanting to make Harry uncomfortable he spoke again.

"Do you think you can make it to the loo on your own?" Severus asked.

Harry nodded and looked to Severus with pleading eyes.

Severus nodded.

"Okay. Go ahead. I'm going to grab your bag, so you have something to change into." Severus said.

"Okay." Harry said in a near whisper.

Severus let go of Harry and watched for a moment as he stumbled towards the bathroom. He turned and entered the boy's room and collected his bag. Harry was at the door when he stepped back into the hall. He followed him down the hall with the bag in hand.

When he reached the door Harry was leaning heavily against the sink.

"Do you need help?" Severus asked. He wasn't sure how he could help but the boy could hardly stand.

Harry shot him an alarmed look and shook his head.

"Very well. I'm going to collect your next batch of potions. Is there anything else I can get for you?" Severus asked. He felt terrible for Harry. He looked miserable.

Harry shook his head.

Severus nodded and set the bag near the sink before exiting the room and closing the door.

Harry sat in the bathtub with the shower beating down on him. He hadn't had the energy to stand. He had taken several deep breaths as he sat there and had eventually been able to pull up his walls. He was horribly embarrassed about the scene he had made. It was bad enough he had made a mess dropping the glass but then to get sick over the top of it and then start crying like a baby was mortifying.

Snape had been so calm and comforting as he had gotten everything cleaned up. Harry shook his head. He would need to apologize properly. With a sigh he began to clean himself.

When he was scrubbed raw, he turned off the water and stepped out of the tub. He felt shaky and hoped whatever potions Snape had for him would make the dizziness go away.

Once he was dressed, he lifted his bag and swung it over his shoulder. He hadn't packed everything. Most of his things were still at the Sundown, but he always kept his bag well stocked just in case he wasn't able to return for some reason. A ball of anxiety rolled in his stomach knowing that his trunk was still away from him. All of his important things were in his bag, and he kept it on hand all of the time. However, his old trunk was still shrunk and locked in the bottom of his new trunk. Those items should be addressed soon. He probably should move the trunk to his bag.

Harry rubbed his forehead. He was giving himself a headache. He pulled open the door and froze. Snape was standing on the far side of the hall with his arms crossed.

Harry bit his lip.

"I'm just here to help you back to your room." Severus said softly.

Harry gave him a tight smile. He wasn't sure how to feel right now. Snape had been nothing but kind to him this last weekend and especially this last day. Yet, some part of him felt hesitant. He had made a mess and that had always ended poorly for him. Perhaps Snape was going to lock him in his room. He supposed he deserved that.

Harry nodded and Snape walked closer and grabbed the top of his arm and led him back to his room. Harry had expected the bruising force Snape had grabbed him with when he had first come here. However, Harry found the grip was only firm enough to keep him from swaying too much. When they got to the guest room Harry smiled a little seeing Edgar back on his bed. He was thankful Snape hadn't thrown him out.

"Easy." Snape said, turning slightly so that Harry could sit on the end of his bed.

Harry closed his eyes for a moment as the world spun. When he opened his eyes again, he did not find himself alone, locked away as he had expected. Snape was sitting in the desk chair watching him with concern.

"I have potions for you when you're ready." Snape said.

That made sense, he guessed. Snape had been giving him potions all day. The sooner he got well the sooner he wouldn't be Snape's problem.

Harry took the first vial. He looked at it carefully and then smelt it before tipping the fever reducer into his mouth. The next was the stomach soother. And finally, a pepper-up. He was fairly sure he had taken his regular potions earlier in the day. With a sigh he scooted into place on the bed and flopped the blankets back over his lap. He leaned his head against the headboard and closed his eyes.

"I'm really sorry for breaking the glass and making a mess of the floor." Harry said softly. He kept his eyes closed willing the dizziness away.

"I hardly think it was malicious. Accidents happen and you are very ill. I'm sorry I wasn't up here to help you. I only planned to go to the sitting room for a short while. I hadn't meant to fall asleep." Snape replied.

Harry's brows pinched and he turned his head and opened his eyes to look at the man. Was he serious?

"I don't need help." Harry said trying for firm, but it came out as nearly a whisper.

Snape raised a skeptical eyebrow. Harry just raised a shoulder in a half shrug. He didn't have the energy to disagree with Snape.

Harry felt exhausted but also wide awake. He'd slept most of the day and knew he wasn't likely to go back to sleep anytime soon. Snape had sat back in the chair and looked as if he intended to stay. Harry sighed. What was he supposed to do now?

He thought on this for a long moment before he decided that he would attempt to ask a question. He had enjoyed there little back and forth of questions from a few weeks ago. He had so many questions he wanted to ask. About Snape. About his mother. About the wizarding world that he was really only starting to understand.

What did he start with though? Perhaps the man wasn't interested in talking. What if he was angry at him? Harry thought back to their night of questions. Snape had started off simple asking about Harry's favorite color. Perhaps if Harry started small, he could gage if Snape was interested in talking.

Harry smiled when he felt Edgar settle in his lap. He ran a hand over the small cat.

"What's your favorite animal?" Harry asked, breaking the strained silence.

Snape snorted.

Harry looked over and found that the man had a slight smile on his face.

"Am I to assume you wish to resume our previous conversation of questions?" Snape asked.

Harry shrugged a nodded a little. The pepper-up was starting to work and he felt like his fever was finally coming down as well. He still felt awful but perhaps he could pass the time talking to Snape. A thought that would have horrified him not even two months ago.

Snape nodded.

"Very well. To answer your question, I'm rather fond of birds, though I would never keep one as a pet. I see the utility of owls, though I've never owned one. Other birds… Well, I suppose I consider it cruel to have an animal that can possess such freedom locked in a cage." Snape said thoughtfully.

Harry mulled over Snapes answer in his mind. It hadn't been what he had expected.

"When I came back after my first year, my uncle put a lock on Hedwig's cage. I couldn't even let her out to hunt. I thought when I finally was able to let her out, she might fly away and never come back. I kept her fed best as I could but…I know she wasn't getting enough." Harry said softly, thinking about his poor owl.

He hoped she was all right. He missed her. He knew the Weasley's always took diligent care of her though.

"I always sent her to Ron early in the summer after that. I didn't even take her with me this year." Harry said, biting his lip a little.

He thought about the last time he had seen her. His uncle's bulky frame charging towards her with murder in his eye. Sending her off with a note for Ron, instructing him to keep her at the Burrow.

Harry was alarmed to feel tears burning in his eyes. He took a deep breath.

Severus was surprised by Harry's unexpected contribution to the conversation. Perhaps Lupin was on to something with the cat. Harry had been steadily petting it the whole time and despite sharing something difficult he had remained calm. Though Severus had not missed the slight shine in Harry's eyes.

He was angry on Harry's behalf. He knew that the monsters that called themselves Harry's relatives had hardly fed the boy. If he had also been rationing his food to share with his caged owl, they were lucky he had even returned for a second year. Lucky that he had not starved to death. No doubt also locked up like an animal in that house.

Severus took a deep breath and considered what to ask. He had so many questions. He didn't want to push Harry though. The cat did seem to have a calming effect on the boy, but he didn't know how far that calm would extend, and he was still sick. Upsetting him would not help in his recovery.

"I will not push you to answer if you're still not ready. However, on the topic of animals. I don't suppose you would tell me about how you got bit by a basilisk?" Severus said neutrally, though he was dying to know. Basilisk were rare. Harry surviving such an attack was unheard of.

Harry sighed before nodding. He shuffled around in his bed a little and seemed to be finding a more comfortable position.

"The story is a bit long." Harry said once he was settled.

Severus nodded for Harry to continue. He could feel excitement and anxiety bubbling in his chest.

Severus just sat staring at Harry when he had finished his tale. Severus didn't know what to feel. The Chamber of Secrets was real. Harry had been there. The Dark Lord had possessed a student. Harry had slain the beast with the sord of Gryffindor. Lockhart had not only been a fraud, which Severus could tell from a mile away, but he had also attacked students. Who was Harry Potter? he asked himself again. That question seemed to get asked every time something new had become known.

Severus also felt a little disappointed in Albus for having not shared the full story of what had happened. He would not have argued the Special Services to the school awards. He also should have considered Fawkes as the 'cure' to the basilisk bite.

Harry was chewing on his lip and not really meeting Severus' eye.

"I'm not sure what to say honestly. That story is unbelievable." Severus said shaking his head.

Harry turned and looked at him.

"You…you don't believe me?" Harry asked, hurt shining in his eyes.

Severus shook his head.

"No, I do. It's just a lot. How large was the basilisk? What happened to the sword of Gryffindor? Is the beast's body still in the chamber?" Severus said leaning forward as all the questions seemed to spill out of his mouth.

Harry smirked. He was sure he looked like an over-excited first year.

"I'm not sure how long the basilisk was…maybe fifty feet?" Harry said with a shrug.

Severus sat back taking that in. He remembered how small Harry had been in his second year. How on earth had he slayed a beast of that size with a sword?

"The sword went back to Dumbledore." Harry said.

Then he seemed to be biting his lip again.

"I um…I assume it's still there." Harry said with another shrug.

Severus nodded.

They sat for a moment in thought. Severus wondered if the boy would be willing to go back. If there were basilisk parts down there, they would be worth a fortune.

Severus looked back at Harry and remembered that this was not only another story of near death the boy had faced but an incredible feat of bravery.

"You were very brave to go after a beast like that to save a friend. Foolish but brave." Severus affirmed.

Harry nodded and shrugged a little.

"I couldn't just let her die." Harry said in a near whisper.

Severus nodded. He wondered if Harry's friends realized the kind of friend they had in him. Even Severus had been saved by the boy at this point. Boy hero indeed, Severus thought warily.

"I believe it's your turn if you wish to continue." Severus said, setting in his chair.

Harry nodded and pet the cat.

"When did you stop being friends with my mother?" Harry asked.

Severus felt his heart clench. He had prepared for this question weeks ago, but it was painful. He suspected it always would be.

"The memory you saw in the Pensieve." Severus said quietly.

Harry's eyes flashed in anger at him.

"You called your friend a…that word…why?" Harry asked, anger clear in his voice.

Severus sighed.

"Lily always stood up for me with the Marauders. She always had a temper. Not unlike yours, if I'm honest. I…I was embarrassed by what they were doing to me. In that moment it felt even more humiliating that I couldn't stand up for myself. I lashed out at her." Severus said quietly looking down at his hands.

"Did you apologize?" Harry asked softly.

Severus nodded.

"I sat in front of Gryffindor tower all night. She wouldn't come out. Black and Potter eventually came out and threatened me. I wrote her several letters, but she never spoke to me again." Severus answered.

He pulled up his occlumency walls. It had been such a painful time.

They sat in silence for a while and neither spoke.

"Hermione was broken when Malfoy called her that in second year. I can't imagine how it would have been if it had been me or Ron. I can't condone what you did, but I'm sorry that you lost your friend." Harry finally said.

Severus nodded. It had been unforgiveable. Especially after he had told her that he didn't agree with his house mates. That he didn't see her as less.

"It was cruel. I didn't deserve her forgiveness or yours. I'm sorry your friend has been on the receiving end of that hate." Severus said quietly.

Harry nodded.

"I think she worked out most of her feelings on the matter when she punched Malfoy in the face." Harry said with a snort.

Severus raised an eyebrow.

Harry shrugged his shoulder.

"It's your turn." Harry said settling a little more.

Severus was thankful that the boy was looking a little better.

"Do you think you can eat a little?" Severus asked.

Harry shrugged.

"Maybe a little. I…um…I went downstairs to get water and crackers. By the time I got the water, eating anything sounded like a bad idea. Sorry again." Harry mumbled.

Severus nodded.

"I'll get you something." Severus said and left the room.

Harry had put some food down for Edgar and gotten settled back into bed when Snape returned. He set a tray on the side table. Harry grimaced at the soup. He didn't think his stomach could handle that, but the crackers sounded bland enough.

He plucked up the small plate and held it in his lap as he nibbled on the crackers. Snape had settled back into his chair. Harry felt slightly uncomfortable being watched while he ate. He tried to ignore Snape.

"Um it's still your turn…if you want to continue." Harry muttered.

Snape was quiet for a long minute. Harry could tell whatever the next question was it was going to be a difficult one. He tried to take some deep breaths. He wished Edgar was back in his lap, but he was still on the floor eating.

"I don't wish to push you. I will admit I have several questions about your life but if you aren't up for it tonight, we can stop now. It is rather late." Snape said.

Harry rolled that around in his head. He knew that Snape still had questions. He was sure Sirius and Remus did too. Facing his past had always been terrifying but it had become somehow less upsetting now that they knew in general what had happened.

He chewed on his lip a little and set the plate back on the tray. He turned to Snape and nodded.

"I'll try and answer." Harry said earnestly looking Snape in the eye.

Severus nodded back at the boy.

He looked at the nearly untouched crackers and thought back to the way the boy ate. He had some concerns that Harry's food issues might be deeper than just recovering from starvation. Eating disorders could be a touchy subject.

"I was wondering if we could talk about the way you eat." Severus said somewhat awkwardly.

Harry looked at him with confusion and Severus tried to formulate the question in his mind.

"You are dangerously underweight." Severus said and noticed Harry's immediate reaction. The boy wrapped his arms around himself and blushed heavily.

Severus sighed.

"I'm not trying to make you feel bad. I know that your previous guardians did not properly feed you. That isn't your fault, Harry. Do you understand?" Severus said calmly.

Harry nodded a little but refused to look at Severus.

"Sometimes people get too focused on their own body. They start to worry about how they look and how others see them. It's common with teens. Sometimes that worry can lead to self-imposed food restriction. This restriction can also be a way to have control over something when everything else feels out of their control. It isn't their fault, but it can become a genuine problem. I would like to know if you are struggling that way. So that I might help you." Severus said.

He watched Harry's brows furrow.

"I understand what you're asking. I do hate my body. It's disgusting…but starving myself isn't going to make that better." Harry mumbled looking away from Severus.

Severus' heart sank hearing Harry talk about himself that way. He hadn't seen much of Harry without the glamour, but he was sure from what he heard from Maggie and what the diagnostic showed that the boy was skin and bone. As well as being heavily scarred. Severus wondered if the boy had been using his scar cream. He had offered to help him. Perhaps he should offer again.

"I've read about eating disorders in a muggle medical book. I don't think I fit into any of those categories." Harry said quietly.

Severus nodded. He still wondered if there was something emotional going on. Even if it wasn't for appearance or control, Harry may still be restricting his food for other reasons.

"Do you feel you are eating as much as you can to recover from the starvation?" Severus asked.

Harry shrugged and Severus nodded. So, there was something there.

"Can you tell me why?" Severus asked quietly.

Harry sat quietly in thought for a while.

"You suffered a lot of food poisoning as a child, and I've seen you examining your food and drinks. Are you worried food will make you sick?" Severus asked curiously.

Harry blushed again and pulled his knees up and wrapped his arms around them.

"Those things aren't related." Harry said quietly.

Severus brow furrowed. Perhaps this was a more complex issue than he thought it would be.

"Do you think you can explain it to me? Explain how you feel about food." Severus asked.

Harry sighed.

"I…you've been very kind about everything. I can't even tell you how much that means to me." Harry mumbled.

Severus felt his heart break. Severus felt like he had done the bare minimum as far as the boy was concerned. Harry deserved someone who could do more for him.

"I can tell you some…But I'm…it's embarrassing." Harry said softly.

Severus nodded his understanding.

"I hope you understand that I would never hold anything you choose to tell me against you." Severus responded.

Harry hesitated a moment before he nodded.

Severus watched as he took a deep breath. Then the kitten jumped back on the bed and Harry smiled. Severus smiled a little too. He had never been a fan of animals in the house, but this one seemed special.

Harry relaxed a little and scooped the cat back into his lap and began petting it.

"The Dursley's were never very inclined to feed me. I usually got something every day but not much. When they punished me though, I wouldn't get food. I would get weak and shaky and so desperate for anything to eat." Harry said softly.

Severus felt anger swell in his chest. He couldn't imagine starving a child. He hadn't been the best fed child because of their poverty but his mother had always made sure he had something to eat.

"I um…Sometimes when I didn't think I could go any longer…I um I would go through the trash. Usually at the house…but um… I got caught a few times. I would go through the trash at school or even the library sometimes." Harry said biting his lip and looking away from Severus.

Severus occluded hard. The boy had been eating trash to survive. How had no one else ever noticed. Someone at the school or out in the public seeing a child eating out of the trash should have raised questions.

"You have nothing to be embarrassed about Harry. You did what you had to do to survive. That embarrassment belongs with your relatives for not feeding you. It also belongs to anyone else who saw you doing that and did nothing." Severus said as calmly as he could though he felt rage pounding at his mental barriers.

Harry shrugged and kept his eyes down.

"Can you tell me why you check your food? I can understand how you likely got food poisoning from eating those things, but surely you know the food we make in the kitchen isn't spoiled." Severus asked.

Harry got a sick look on his face and shook his head.

Severus was curious but only nodded. Harry looked exhausted.

"Very well. Would you like to ask another question, or are you ready for bed?" Severus asked.

"I think I should probably lay back down." Harry said softly.

Severus nodded.

"Is there anything I can get for you?" Severus asked.

Harry shook his head and scooted down until he was laying in the bed again. The kitten snuggled close to his chest.

"Thanks for talking with me. And thanks for letting me stay. We'll get out from underfoot tomorrow. I need to find a home for Edgar." Harry murmured as his eyes fell shut.

Severus smiled a little sadly. He would talk to Harry about staying tomorrow and let him know he could keep the cat. He longed to reach out and brush the hair away from his face. The boy had remained in base form, much to his surprise. The last time he had shifted back when he had realized. Maybe he was getting more comfortable. Maybe he just didn't have the energy to shift.

With a sigh Severus turned out the lights and left the door open a little. He made his way into his room and got ready for bed. His mind swirled with their conversation. He settled into bed and sorted his mind before falling into an exhausted sleep.

Severus startled awake just after dawn to a scream. He dove out of bed, wand in hand. Another scream came from across the hall, and he quickly made his way out of his room. His heart pounded in his chest. He was nearly certain that there was no one in the house. After the last time this had happened, he was sure that Harry was having another vision. However, that didn't lower his anxiety.

The little black ball of fur darted out of the room and between his legs as he pushed the door open. He could see by the light from the hall that Harry was still in his bed. He turned the light on in the room and made his way to the bed. He tucked his wand into the waist of his sleeping pants. He mentally berated himself for being shirtless again. He had always slept in just bottoms and found a top horribly uncomfortable.

Harry's eyes were screwed shut and he was thrashing, tangled in his bedding. A whimper left his mouth before another scream. Severus approached and called out to the boy.

"Harry." Severus said.

No response.

"Harry." Severus tried again.

When the boy only began to cry Severus stepped up next to the bed. He could see how flushed the boy's face was. He was burning up with fever again. Severus reached out and laid his hand on Harry's shoulder. He twisted to get away and Severus felt his heart sink.

"Harry, wake up." Severus said a little louder, gently shaking the boy's shoulder.

Tear filled green eyes sprung open. There was a soft gasp and Harry pulled himself upright. His whole body was shaking, and his eyes seemed unfocused.

"You're okay." Severus tried to reassure, taking a step back.

Harry didn't look at him.

Severus took a deep breath. He wasn't prepared to know that there had been another attack. Another death. However, he needed to know.

"Did you have a vision?" Severus asked quietly.

Harry shook his head before balling himself up and crying into his knees. Severus could hear soft muttering but couldn't make out what the boy was saying.

He was thankful it hadn't been a vision, but he felt for the boy having such a bad nightmare.

With a sigh he left the room and acquired a shirt and a few potions.

When he returned Harry was laying on his side, still balled up. Staring blankly into the room.

"Here, your fever is back." Severus said softly holding out the fever reducer.

Harry sat up a little although he didn't make eye contact. He drank the potion as well as the calming draught Severus handed him before settling back on the bed. His eyes were heavy and soon he was asleep again.

Severus transfigured the wooden desk chair into a more comfortable armchair. He sneered at it. Transfiguration had never been his strong suit. It looked all right but it wasn't quite right. With a sigh he settled into the chair. He summoned a blanket and closed his eyes. He didn't want Harry to be alone if he woke up again.

Severus had been in the boy's room most of the day. He had never seemed truly settled though he was asleep. He whimpered and cried and muttered in his sleep. Severus had woken him a few times to take potions before he would fall back asleep.

He had floo called Black earlier in the day and let them know the boy was still rather sick. They sent on their thanks and asked for him to call again the next day.

It was getting late when Harry began to stir. He had been mostly calm for the last half an hour and Severus wondered if the boy was going to have another nightmare. He had the thought that this was probably why the boy preferred to sleep in his Animagus form. He wondered if the boy had been using silencing spells before.

It annoyed Severus that Harry had broken his rules, but it also made him sad to think that the boy had chosen to suffer in silence rather than be heard. Although Severus had to admit that seemed to be a running theme with Harry.

Severus adjusted slightly in the chair. He had dressed and eaten earlier in the day. However, he was starting to get hungry again and wondered if he should wake Harry. He would be due for another potion soon and hopefully he would eat something.

Severus realized the boy's eyes were open and just staring at him. Severus gave him a small smile.

"How are you feeling?" Severus asked.

Harry shrugged.

"You should probably take a trip to the restroom. You've had a lot of potions today. I'm going to bring something up for you to eat." Severus said softly.

Harry looked a little confused but nodded. His hair was a tangled mess. He looked much younger in that moment. Like a little boy. Severus felt a little sick that this child had never been taken care of when he was sick.

Severus headed to the kitchen after making sure Harry could stand on his own.

Harry walked back into his room feeling shaky. It was night again. He couldn't believe he had slept another day away. He'd not been sleeping well. He had had a lot of nightmares. He thought he remembered Snape waking him from them a few times. Like the day before he'd been given potions throughout the day but hadn't been able to keep his eyes open for much longer than that. He was sure Snape was ready for him to get out of his house. The man had certainly not signed up to be a Medi-Wizard to a sick kid.

Harry looked around the guest room. He began gathering up his things. He had pulled several things out the first night though he hadn't done much with them since.

"What are you doing?" Snape asked from the door.

"I'm sorry I slept all day. I…um I'll get out of your way. I'm feeling better." Harry mumbled shoving the bag of cat food into his bag.

Snape walked into the room and set the tray on his side table.

Harry felt bad that Snape had gone to so much effort. He hadn't needed to make him food or give him potions. He didn't deserve it. He was a worthless freak. He could hear the word ringing in his ears. He had heard his uncle scream it over and over in his nightmares. He needed to stop being a burden.

"Harry, will you stop, please." Snape said from behind him.

Harry froze and looked up to Snape. The man had been nothing but kind and understanding for weeks but there was still an echo of fear in his heart. He thought one of his dreams had been about the man. He couldn't remember it exactly. It hadn't been a memory but something horrible his mind had made up. He couldn't quite look at the man and chose to look over his left shoulder instead.

"Harry, you are still sick. I have no problem with you staying here. In fact, I'm going to have to insist you stay at least until you are doing a little better. I'm not sure how much of today you remember but your fever and breathing have been relatively bad today. You have needed your inhaler several times and I'm not comfortable allowing you to return to the Sundown by yourself. If you have another day like today, you could die if no one is there." Snape said firmly.

Harry swallowed hard. He didn't know it was quite that bad.

"Further, I…I'll admit I kind of like having you here. If you would like to return to staying here, I would enjoy your company. Though I will leave that up to you. I will not force you to return." Snape added.

Harry's head spun. Snape wanted him back… He had missed the house. He felt Edgar bump his leg and shook his head. He wouldn't be able to keep Edgar either way. There were no pets allowed at the motel and Snape wouldn't let him have an animal in the house. He felt his heart break a little. He really liked Edgar. He knew he deserved better than what Harry could offer though. Feeding him in the park and keeping him company for a few hours wasn't what the sweet little animal deserved.

Harry knelt down and pet the fuzzy black ears.

"He can stay too." Snape said softly.

Harry's head shot up and he looked at Snape a little desperately. Surely, he had miss heard.

"What?" Harry whispered out.

Snape rolled his eyes.

"I talked with Lupin and Black. They asked that I allow you to keep the cat. I agreed on the understanding that when you leave the cat does too." Snape said stiffly.

Harry's face split into a wide grin. He stood with Edgar cradled in his arms.

"You really mean it? If I stay here, I can keep him?" Harry asked.

Snape nodded.

Harry felt a little choaked up. It was a little silly, but he was so thankful to Snape.

"Thank you." Harry said a little thickly.

Snape only nodded and took a seat in the armchair.

"Now, if you please. Come eat something. You can't afford to miss anymore meals." Snape drawled.

Harry couldn't stop smiling and made his way back onto his bed, backpack forgotten.

Severus felt a warmth in his stomach at the look on the boy's face. Offering to allow him to stay and keep the cat had definitely been the right choice. He would also admit to himself he found the little fur ball kind of cute. It had followed him downstairs yesterday. After having gone out to handle its business it had comeback in through the enchanted pet door Severus had charmed, and promptly jumped into his lap. Severus had intended to take the cat back up to Harry's room but had fallen asleep before then.

Today the cat had been friendly. Sleeping curled with Harry and being well behaved in the house when he had been awake.

Severus watched the boy eat but noticed that he was shooting him uncomfortable glances. He had to admit being watched while you ate was rather annoying.

"Why don't you ask a question, and I will answer while you eat your soup and crackers." Severus offered, settling back in the chair.

Harry didn't say anything for a moment.

"Did I wake you up?" Harry asked.

His voice was quiet, and Severus felt sorry for the child.

"You did. I am not upset though." Severus answered.

Harry set the food back on the side table. Severus sighed. He had hoped that the boy would eat more.

"They hated when I would wake them up. I'm sorry. I forgot my silencing spell last night. I'll…I'll remember tonight." Harry said quietly, focusing on the cat.

Severus sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"You are not a bother Harry. I would rather be able to come to your aid and wake you from a nightmare then let you suffer. Your relatives are reprehensible monsters. No one can control nightmares or how we respond to them. Certainly not a child." Severus said with a slight growl.

Harry shrugged a little.

"Would you tell me what your nightmare was about. When I came into your room, I thought you might have been having a vision." Severus asked.

Harry looked a little grey and Severus considered rescinding his questions. Dreams and nightmares were very personal. He wasn't sure he would want to share any of his. Perhaps he had over stepped.

"I had a lot of nightmares last night. I don't remember them all." Harry started and Severus nodded for him to continue.

"A lot of times they are a mix of things that have happened. Sometimes they make sense and sometimes they don't. I think I was mostly dreaming about the graveyard last night. A lot of my nightmare start there." Harry whispered.

Severus nodded. He was sure that had been a terrifying experience. He wondered if Harry had really talked to anyone about what had happened.

"Sometimes other things start mixing into the dream. The basilisk, Quirrell, Lockhart, the Dursley's, the Ministry…." Harry trailed off.

Severus swallowed hard. Harry's life really had been a conglomeration of nightmare fuel.

"Sometimes my friends are in trouble, sometimes I am. I never seem to be able to get away from it. I wake up exhausted." Harry said with a sigh.

Severus nodded. He knew how that felt. He wondered again about the boy's occlumency. He wondered if Harry would trust him to help sort his mind. It wouldn't get rid of all of the nightmares, but it might limit them.

"I um…can I ask you a kind of personal question?" Harry asked hesitantly.

Severus took a deep breath. Harry was being very honest and open with rather personal matters. He would try and answer his question.

Severus nodded.

Harry wrung his hands a little before refocusing his attention on the cat.

"You can tell me it's none of my business but…um…Were um…were your parents like the Dursley's?" Harry asked just above a whisper.

Severus stomach felt like lead. He hadn't expected a question about his own upbringing. Had he said or done something that had led Harry to that question?

With a deep breath he answered.

"Are you asking if my parents were abusive?" Severus asked quietly. He had never really talked about it with anyone. Lily and Lucius had both known the kind of life he had at home but they both took it as a fact and never asked many questions. The Dark Lord and Albus had both been through his mind. Minerva and Mary both seem to know by assumption.

Harry blushed a little and looked him in the eye before nodding.

Severus sighed.

"My father was a drunk who took out his anger on both me and my mother. My mother was…Afraid and resigned to the life we had. We protected one another when we could." Severus answered looking down at his clasped hands. He felt embarrassment though he had long accepted that what had happened wasn't his fault.

"I'm sorry." Harry said softly.

Severus nodded.

To his surprise a moment later the black kitten jumped into his lap and began purring and bumping his head into Severus stomach.

Severus raised an eyebrow at the cat before smirking slightly and running a hand down the furballs back.

Severus looked back to Harry who had a strange combination of expressions on his face. His eyes looked sad, but he also had a little smile aimed at the kitten.

"I guess Edgar thought you needed some attention." Harry said softly.

Severus nodded as he gave the cat another pet.

"Is that why you help the Slytherin's?" Harry asked.

Severus looked at him in confusion.

"Because you know what it's like. You help the ones with bad homes." Harry clarified.

Severus nodded.

"When I became head of house, I wanted to be what I needed when I was a student." Severus said softly.

"That's really kind of you." Harry said quietly.

Severus observed the boy. He had begun to pick at his nails and hunch in on himself a little.

Severus picked up the cat and set him back on the edge of the bed. The kitten put its front paws on Harry's shoulder and bumped his head against Harry's.

Harry smiled as the kitten settled back in his lap.

"I know you and I haven't always had a good relationship, but if I had known I would have helped you too." Severus said softly.

Harry nodded.

"Maybe I should have let the hat put me in Slytherin." Harry said.

Severus raised an eyebrow. Surely the boy was joking.

"Care to explain?" Severus asked.

Harry looked up with a smirk.

"Is that your question?" Harry asked.

Severus sighed and nodded.

"The hat wanted to sort me into Slytherin. Told me I would do well there…. I begged it to put me anywhere else." Harry said.

Severus sat back in his chair and considered. He couldn't imagine what that would have even looked like. He had noticed some Slytherin in the boy since he had gotten to know him. However, the boy-who-lived in Slytherin? The wizarding world would have rioted.

"Why did you ask for a different sorting?" Severus asked curiously. There was plenty of prejudice against his house, but from what he had learned the boy didn't know anything when he had come to Hogwarts.

Harry sighed.

"I didn't even know magic was real until Hagrid brought me my letter. He um…. he was the one who told me what really happened to my parent's. He told me about Vol…um… you-know-who. He told me he was in Slytherin. I still didn't really know anything about the houses at that point, but I didn't think I wanted to be in the same one as my parents' killer." Harry said with a sigh.

"On the train I met Ron. I was so afraid I wasn't going to make friends. I…um…I'd never really had a friend. But Ron was really nice, and he seemed to like me. He said that everyone that went dark came from Slytherin. I know that's not true now. I didn't then though." Harry continued.

Severus was annoyed that the boy had been indoctrinated with anti-Slytherin rhetoric before he'd even been sorted. However, it was nice to hear that the boy had grown in his own thoughts.

"Then I met Malfoy." Harry said with a bit of a growl.

Severus felt conflicted. He loved his godson, but he had always been a bit of a prat. He wondered what the boy had done.

"He made fun of Ron. Then basically told me that I shouldn't be friends with Ron. He wanted to shake my hand like I was about to thank him for the advice. I didn't want to lose the first person who had ever acted like a friend and I… I didn't want to be friends with a bully. He reminded me of my cousin. So, when he got sorted, I just hoped I wouldn't end up in the same house. I just wanted a friend and maybe to not get picked on anymore." Harry said softly.

Severus sighed.

He remembered Draco talking about wanting to meet Harry Potter before he had even gone to school. He had been excited to meet the other boy. It had driven Severus crazy. He was not looking forward to teaching Potter. Draco had clearly messed up his introduction. No doubt the boy had expected another boy who had been raised like he had. A spoiled brat who would be attracted to another spoiled child. Instead, Draco had gone in like a recking ball and confronted an abused child who had just made his first friend.

He hoped Draco would begin to grow up. He felt worry swirl in his stomach. He knew the boy was having a rough summer. He just hoped he was okay.

Severus nodded.

"I suppose you were not given a particularly good view of our house right out of the gate. I hope you have realized by now that the house isn't as bad as everyone seems to make it out to be?" Severus asked.

Harry nodded.

Harry began to cough, and Severus hoped it would lessen soon. He reached over and handed him the glass of water.

Harry nodded his thanks and sipped at the water before setting it back on the side table.

"Would you like a pain potion for your throat?" Severus asked.

"Yes, please." Harry said in a horse whisper.

Severus handed him the potion and took the empty vial when Harry handed it back.

"You've had all of your regular potions today. I've also given you several to help you recover from the flu. You haven't had a chance to use your nerve salve or scar salve today. Would you like me to give you some privacy to do that?" Severus asked.

Harry's face bloomed in a bright red blush, and he looked away from Severus.

Severus raised his eyebrow. He had wondered yesterday if Harry had been using the scar salve. Now he was more curious.

"Have you been using them?" Severus asked softly.

Harry looked into his lap and shook his head.

Severus sighed.

"Can you tell me why?" Severus asked.

Harry pet Edgar and bit his lip for a few moments.

"I deserved it didn't I? For being bad? For being a Freak? Is it right to just wipe it away with some salve?" Harry said just above a whisper.

Severus swallowed hard. Harry certainly hadn't deserved the pain that had been inflicted on him. It was heartbreaking to hear the broken voice speak his insecurities. He wished a thousand painful deaths on the Dursley's for breaking the boy so much.

"You didn't deserve any of it Harry. You never did. You do not have to carry reminders of there cruelty. You weren't bad and you are not a freak." Severus said confidently.

Harry just shrugged, although Severus could see that there were tears in his eyes.

"The scars can be left if you choose. However, I think you should use the nerve salve. The damage to your skin is not unlike the damage to any of your other organs. The nerve damage could limit your movement, making it more difficult to do many things including dueling and flying." Severus added.

He hoped bringing up the things the boy enjoyed doing would make him more inclined to agree.

Harry sighed and nodded.

"I know that you have a lot of damage to your body. Some I imagine wont be easy or possible to reach on your own. Would you like some help?" Severus offered softly.

Harry blushed and fiddled with his hands before shrugging.

"You don't need to be embarrassed Harry. You didn't do anything wrong. I just want to help you." Severus said.

Harry sighed and nodded again.

"I know this will be uncomfortable for you, but I hope you can trust me." Severus said standing from his chair.

Harry looked at him with trepidation before cautiously nodding.

"Okay. Do you have the pots of salve I gave you?" Severus asked.

Harry nodded and wordlessly summoned his bag. He reached in and pulled the two pots from the bag. Harry stared at them for a long moment before holding them out to Severus with a shaky hand.

Severus collected them and considered what the best way to do this would be.

"I would like to make this as comfortable for you as I can. Would it make you feel better to sit or lie on the bed, or would you rather stand?" Severus asked.

Harry seemed to consider.

"I'm still a little dizzy. I don't think standing would be a good idea…so I guess sitting." Harry answered.

Severus nodded.

"Very well, you will need to take your shirt off and turn with your back to me." Severus said.

Harry took a deep breath. He set the cat on the floor and shakily turned so his back was to Severus.

Severus could see the boy shaking. He didn't want him to be afraid.

"If you would like to keep asking questions while we do this it may help distract you." Severus suggested.

Harry sighed a little and nodded.

Severus watched as he pulled the baggy shirt off. The glamor was clearly up. Harry's back right now looked like normal skin.

"If you weren't a teacher, what would you be?" Harry asked quietly.

Severus nodded as he heard Harry taking measured breaths. Harry's body was stiff and shaky, but he was thankful the boy was breathing to keep himself calm.

"I think I would probably open my own potions shop. I enjoy brewing but teaching such a volatile subject to children is rather stressful." Severus answered.

He kept himself from making a noise as Harry dropped the glamour. The boy's back was covered in scars. He also still had fading bruises from when Severus had bound him. He should have known the boy wouldn't have been able to apply the bruise balm to his back. There was a rather large bruise on his side that looked deep but fading.

Severus swallowed.

"How did you come up with the name Hedwig?" Severus asked as he opened the pot of nerve salve.

"I found it in 'A history of Magic'. My relatives didn't let me keep my school supplies, so I didn't have much of a chance to study before I came to school. But I saw that name when I was flipping through my books on my way home from Diagon." Harry said softly.

Severus nodded. Good, Harry was focusing on the questions.

"I'm going to begin. I'll start on the tops of your shoulders and move down." Severus said as he gently reached out to a long scar on Harry's right shoulder. It looked like a whip mark. Severus swallowed down the bile in his throat.

Harry flinched slightly when his finger touched but then seemed to hold steady.

"What…um…What other subjects did you enjoy at school?" Harry stuttered out.

Severus calmly and quietly explained his enjoyment of Arithmancy, Herbology and Defense against the Dark Arts as he slowly massaged the salve into cut and burn scars littering the boy's shoulders and upper back.

"Are you comfortable with me moving lower on your back?" Severus asked.

Harry's back stiffened a little, but he nodded.

"What do you think of Cokeworth?" Severus asked.

Harry explained how he had enjoyed his stay in the small town. He talked about the bookstore and the park mostly. Severus moved to the middle of Harry's back and frowned at a rather large burn. He wondered if he could ask what had happened but chose not to inquire while Harry was in this vulnerable position.

"Have you always lived here?" Harry asked.

"No. I moved in with a friend after my mother past away." Severus answered stiffly. He didn't want to expose more of his connection with the Malfoy's. He still wasn't sure how to feel about them and he didn't want to accidentally expose their role of spy.

Harry nodded.

"I'm sorry." Harry said softly.

Severus sighed. He did miss his mother but in all the years since her passing he thought it may have been a relief that she was no longer suffering under Tobias.

"I like to think she is in a better place." Severus said softly.

Harry nodded and sniffled a little.

Severus paused in his ministrations. Was the boy crying? He wanted to know if he had upset him with the conversation or with what he was doing.

"Are you all right?" Severus asked.

Harry sniffled again and nodded.

"I'm fine." Harry said quietly.

Severus wasn't sure he believed that but made quick work of the rest of his back.

When he pulled away, he could see the boy's scarred arms laying in his lap.

"Turn around." Severus instructed.

Harry turned and Severus was confronted with fear filled eyes.

Severus knelt down in front of Harry and set the pot of salve on the floor. He reached out and took both of Harry's hands in his and looked up into the boy's face.

"You're okay, Harry. I promise I would never hurt you." Severus said firmly.

Harry bit his lip and nodded.

"I know." Harry whispered out.

Severus nodded but kept his eyes on Harry. With the glamour down he could really see how thin he was. It was scary. The scars on his chest weren't as numerous as the ones on his back but it was still a lot.

"Can you trust me a little longer and let me get your chest and arms?" Severus asked.

"I…I can…" Harry whispered before trailing off.

"I know you can. Will you allow me to take care of you?" Severus asked softly.

Harry searched his face for a long moment and Severus allowed his shields down a little. He wanted to show the boy that not every touch would be painful. That he could trust Severus not to hurt him. That he was worth the care.

Harry seemed to see that and eventually nodded.

Severus nodded and picked the salve up again. He started at Harry's right wrist. Harry was taking slow shaky breaths but seemed to be hanging in there.

"You can ask a question if you like." Severus said.

"When um…When did you meet my mum?" Harry asked shakily.

Severus was surprised that the boy hadn't just put up his shields. He wondered if the boy was panicking and had forgotten he could or if he didn't feel he needed them.

He had planned his answer to this question weeks ago when he had given Harry the photo. It was a good memory even if all of his memories of Lily were painful.

Severus took a deep breath and focused on Harry's arm. His heart broke seeing all of the self-inflicted injuries. The other scars made Severus angry. When he and Harry had talked it had become clear that the boy's injuries had never been treated. How depraved did a person have to be to ignore a child in pain?

Severus shook his head before he answered the question.

"We met in the park. She was on the swing. I didn't really have friends and was just watching her and the other children. Then something happened that I wasn't expecting. She jumped off the swing. She was really high. I expected her to fall. But instead, she floated down like she was a feather in the wind. It was beautiful and graceful. She giggled and started running around the park. I knew that she was like me then. Magical. I introduced myself and realized she was muggleborn. I told her she was a witch." Severus said then laughed a little.

Harry flinched at the laugh. His eyes looked a little hurt.

"I'm not laughing at you." Severus said softly, gently rubbing more salve into a strange round scar on the boy's arm.

"Your mother's look was like murder when I told her she was a witch. She thought I was being mean. I showed her a little magic I had learned and the way her face lit up…It was…I strived to always bring that look back to her face." Severus said wistfully.

Harry smiled a little.

"I told her everything I knew about Hogwarts and the Wixen world." Severus said softly.

Severus reached the top of Harry's arm and looked at the scar on his neck. Again, he wondered if Harry would tell him what happened. He decided he would wait and moved his attention to the other arm.

"Has anyone else seen this?" Severus asked quietly.

Between the Dursley's and who ever had taken that vile photo he knew that at least some people had seen this before, but he was curious if anyone else had.

Harry nodded but said nothing.

"Has anyone in the wizarding world?" Severus asked, as he focused on the large scar running up Harry's arm.

Harry swallowed and nodded.

Severus quirked an eyebrow.

"Who?" Severus asked.

"Fred and George." Harry said softly.

Severus nodded. Despite learning that they had been helping Harry, Severus still didn't know to what level they had aided the boy. Given the way Harry had insisted on handling the road rash on his own Severus had assumed that the twins had just been helping him get potions.

A new and slightly uncomfortable thought came to his mind. If Harry had been this vulnerable with them perhaps what Severus had thought was sexual abuse over the last few years was maybe experimentation. Harry would have been thirteen, maybe a little young but not impossible.

The twins would have been fifteen, which might explain some of the damage to the boy. Though Severus thought that the harm to Harry seemed a bit much for simple experimenting gone wrong. Harry seemed rather attached to them. But was it genuine attachment or was it attention and abuse, like he had briefly suspected of the mutts? He hadn't considered that what he was seeing could have been another child. Though it wasn't unheard of.

Severus swallowed and tried to think. He honestly hated this. He didn't want to be suspicious of the people around them. However, until Harry was willing to open up, Severus would continue to be suspicious. He feared making a mistake with the boy's care and unknowingly handing him back to an abuser like the headmaster had done.

Harry tried to keep his mind blank. Having Snape's hands on him made his stomach churn. He honestly wasn't sure how to feel. Snape was being very gentle and was talking to him to keep him distracted, which he supposed was helping some.

However, the feeling of any hands on him made him feel disgusted. He felt bad that Snape was having to see his body. He knew how horrid it looked. It's why he had apologized to Maggie after she had seen him. He always apologized to the twins as well after they would fix him up. They always comforted him and reassured him once he was patched up. Harry wished he had that now. Snape was doing a good job, but it wasn't the same.

Snape seemed to have gotten lost in thought and Harry wondered what he was thinking. Was he thinking about how bad he looked? Harry still didn't really understand why Snape had insisted on doing this. He had seen the hope for trust in the mans face and had challenged himself to trust. Not unlike the determination he had felt when George had asked to kiss him. Despite having his trust broken over and over, he just couldn't seem to help himself when it came to wanting to trust. Hoping he had gotten it right this time.

"I'm going to move to your chest now is that ok?" Snape asked softly.

Harry's stomach squirmed. Even when the twins helped him, they let him manage the things he could reach on his own. He could tell Snape no. He was fairly sure the man would stop. However, part of him worried that he wouldn't. Part of him worried that he was using this as an excuse to touch him and it made Harry feel sick.

He tried to remind himself that Snape hadn't done anything wrong. He tried to remind himself that in the time that he had been here Snape hadn't said or done anything to truly make him feel unsafe. However, a deeper part of his mind reminded him of Snape dragging him around by his arm. He knew how strong the man was. That part of his mind also supplied that he was ill and wouldn't be able to fight back as efficiently.

Suddenly he couldn't feel the hands on his arm anymore but realized he was staring into worried black eyes.

"Harry." Snape said softly.

Harry blinked and felt tears run down his face. He raised his arm to wipe his face, but Snape caught his hand.

"Your arm has salve on it. You don't want it in your eyes. Here." Snape said, handing him a handkerchief from his pocket.

Harry nodded and took the cloth. He wiped his face and then sat staring down at his hands. His face blushed brightly.

He had started to panic, and Snape had stopped. Snape was trying to be kind and Harry was having horrible thoughts about the man. Snape didn't deserve that. Harry was the one who was broken not Snape.

"Here." Snape said softly holding out a vial.

Harry looked at it. It was one of the calming draughts that Snape had brewed specially for him.

He hesitated a moment, still feeling a little afraid and not wanting to dull his senses but eventually nodded.

He took the vial and downed it in one gulp before handing it back to Snape who quickly pocketed it.

Harry could feel the calm washing over him. He knew that he didn't have long before he would start feeling sleepy and he wanted to be fully dressed before that happened.

"Are you all right?" Snape asked.

Harry was still feeling horribly embarrassed and didn't want Snape to see that, so he just nodded.

"Would you like to do your chest yourself?" Snape asked.

Harry nodded. He took the pot from Snape and with a lot less care smeared the greasy salve on the scars all over his chest and stomach before quickly handing it back.

Chewing his lip, he hoped he could put his shirt back on now.

"May I address the scar on your neck? Then we can be done for tonight." Snape said softly.

Harry nodded and looked up knowing Snape wouldn't be able to get to it if he was looking down.

Snape came closer and began to slowly massage the salve in. Harry felt a lot of emotions bubbling up thinking about that scar. He wondered if he told Snape if it would help. Talking seemed to be helping a little.

With a deep breath he started to talk.

"Dudley wanted a new telly. He had seen a new model in the shops and had jumped up and down about needing it. My aunt had told him no, that the telly they had was new enough. They almost never told him no. I was cleaning, and Dudley came into the sitting room and took scissors to the power cord before tipping the whole thing over and smashing the glass. He smirked at me and started screaming for his parents." Harry said, swallowing a little.

He met Snapes eyes for a moment and looked away. The man continued to rub at the scar.

"They were livid that I had broken it. I…I didn't even try to deny it. I was too scared." Harry whispered out.

"Vernon took the part of the cord that was laying on the floor and came after me. I was just frozen. I couldn't believe what was happening. Dudley had gotten me in trouble before. Blaming me for stuff he had done. He hadn't ever done something like that though. Done something on purpose to get me in trouble." Harry said.

Harry could feel a slight shake in his body and took a deep breath before continuing.

"He swung the cord at me, and I flinched. It caught me in the neck. I'm pretty sure he was aiming for my face." Harry said shakily.

"They locked…um…they made me stay in my room all week. They told the school that I was in London having my medication adjusted for my emotional problems. When um…when I went back to school, no one would even look at me. Not that they did much before, but I was completely on my own after that." Harry finished a little brokenly.

Snape had finished and was just kneeling in front of him. Harry was alarmed to see the man had tears on his face. He hadn't meant to upset him. He just thought talking about it would help him feel better.

"Sorry." Harry mumbled shoving the handkerchief back into Snapes hand and scooting away from him. He climbed off the far side of the bed and grabbed his shirt. He pulled it over his head and shakily walked out of the room before locking himself in the bathroom.

He was such a freak. No one wanted to hear stuff like that. He felt the anger at himself bubbling to the surface. He wished he still had his knife. With a sigh he slid down the wall and sat with his knees against his chest. He should have just kept his mouth shut.

Severus shook himself from his shock as Harry stumbled out of the room. He had not expected Harry to share such a painful memory. He hadn't asked and Harry was usually very tight-lipped about the abuse he had suffered. Had Severus expected it he would have occluded. Had he asked a question of that nature he would have been prepared for the answer.

The broken look on the boy's face as he had shoved the handkerchief back at him made it clear that the boy hadn't anticipated how someone else would receive his story.

Severus pulled himself to standing and placed the pot of nerve salve on Harry's side table. He wiped his face and brought up his shields. He would give Harry a few minutes alone.

He straightened the bed and took the tray of uneaten food back to the kitchen. When he returned Harry was back on his bed with the kitten in his lap. His shoulders were slumped, and he looked completely dejected.

Severus walked in and took a seat.

"I'm sorry. I…I should have thought before I said anything. I didn't mean to upset you." Harry whispered softly.

Severus' heart broke for the boy. Severus wanted to kick himself. As he had told Minerva; he couldn't help but misstep when it came to the boy.

"You don't need to apologize Harry. You didn't do anything wrong." Severus said softly.

Harry glanced at him through his fringe and then back to the cat.

"You are not responsible for how others feel. You weren't saying something to hurt my feelings. You were telling me an upsetting story. I'm sorry you had to live through that. I'm thankful you felt comfortable enough to share that with me. You don't need to feel bad about unburdening your soul a little." Severus said firmly.

Harry just shrugged.

"I…I thought if I talked about it, I might feel better." Harry whispered.

Severus gave him a small smile. Talking things out was a good way to process the trauma. He was sure Lupin was going to have his work cut out for him, with the amount of trauma the boy had suffered.

"Talking can be very healing. Do you feel better having shared that story?" Severus asked curiously.

Harry shrugged and then nodded a little.

Severus nodded.

"I'm glad. You're always welcome to talk to me Harry. I'm sorry my reaction upset you. However, I'm not upset that you shared with me. I think it was a very brave thing to do." Severus said.

Harry shrugged and then yawned.

"You should get some sleep." Severus said, standing from the chair.

Harry nodded and settled into his bed.

"Good night, Harry." Severus said softly.

"Good night, professor." Harry mumbled.

Severus turned out the lights and hoped the boy would get a better night's sleep than he had last night.

Severus was sitting in the sitting room thinking over the conversation with Harry. He still had more questions, but he felt like the picture was becoming a lot clearer. He had decided he would ask Lupin to address the food issue. There were clearly some emotional issues at play that Harry didn't seem comfortable sharing with him.

He wasn't sure how he felt addressing the sexual abuse as far as talking to Lupin. Obviously, he already suspected but Severus wasn't sure if Lupin suspected anyone other than Harry's relatives. If he didn't, Severus didn't want to put the man in the same boat, he found himself. Suspicious of everyone. There was still a good chance that it had all been the uncle. Although the photo he had found implied that someone else may have been involved.

Although not talking to Lupin might leave Harry exposed if it was in fact someone in the Wixen world.

Severus rubbed his eyes and shook his head. He needed to let the matter rest for the night. Harry's story had upset him in a way he hadn't expected. He would need to let Lupin and Black know to keep their reactions somewhat hidden if Harry opened up to them.

Severus knew Harry already felt like a burden, adding to that wouldn't be helpful in his healing.

With a sigh Severus summoned a book and picked up his tea. He needed to settle his mind for a while.

He felt his heart sink when he heard a scream from upstairs. Harry had only been asleep for an hour and was already having nightmares. He took another sip of his tea and looked at the clock. It was midnight. Maybe he should just give him a dreamless sleep tonight.

He collected a potion and made his way upstairs.

He felt his heart stop when he saw Harry come flying out of his room and trip halfway across the hall.

"Snape." Harry yelled.

Severus quickly ran up the last of the steps.

Harry's head whipped around and pierced Severus with wide, fear filled eyes.

"Draco." Harry said shakily.

Severus felt like all the air had been sucked from his lungs.