** Not the update you were hoping for but that is coming up in another chapter. This is a look into Adalind's mind and feelings. Hope you enjoy. **

Adalind, drained and saddened, walked into her apartment, dropping her keys on the side table along with her shopping bag before falling back onto her couch. She had known before she even got to the hospital what was going on. But walking into the room to see the elder Pfichttreue lying in the hospital bed, looking far more fragile than he had just a day ago, it broke her heart. Cindy, his daughter was right by his side. Her face streaked with tears as she held his hand and stared at her father with all the love a child could possess for a parent. Even in his prone state she could see the same affection on his face for her.

For a moment Adalind had been jealous of that relationship. She already knew how much Mr. Fengrer loved his daughter but to see it reciprocated was a beautiful sight to her. it was the kind of relationship she had always wanted to have with her own parent. Her father left before she was old enough to really remember him. Her mother was never the affectionate kind, so it stung a bit to see that other people could have this and made her wonder why she couldn't.

She stayed with Cindy and Mr. Fengrer, who insisted she call him Harry in his last moments, until his last breath. She stood comforting his daughter as she cried, and she was there when his sons finally showed. She tried not to let her disdain show as they waltz into the room, one typing something into his phone and the other as blasé as possible flopping into one of the chairs in the room. Neither of them seem to have cared that he was gone. Only staying long enough to belittle their sister and sign whatever papers they needed too before waltzing back out as if nothing special had happened.

Adalind offered to give Cindy a ride home after learning that her car was in the shop, so she took a cab to be with him. She gave Cindy her card and told her to contact her if she needed anything. Mr. Fengrer, Harry, had paid to retain Adalind's services for 6 months for his daughter, thinking she would need it, after he passed. But Adalind knew the young woman didn't have anyone else. She wasn't married and had no children. Both her parents were gone now, and her brothers couldn't care less about her. Adalind didn't want her to feel as if she was alone in this. She may not have known the man for long, but she knew him long enough to want to make sure that his pride and joy, his daughter, had someone she could lean on if needed.

As Adalind rested her head back and closed her eyes, trying to decompress from the day she heard the clinking of glass and silverware and inwardly groaned. Of course, her mother would show up today of all days. Adalind was not in any kind of shape or mood to deal with her, but it doesn't look like she was given a choice.

"There you are. I heard you had taken the day off, I thought I might catch you at home so we could talk but you weren't." Her mother said in a cheerful tone.

"Good observation." She muttered, not bothering to open her eyes, though the smell of food did call to her. she hadn't eaten a thing today and only had a few sips of tea before she had left.

"Well, I ordered take out, why don't you join me for a meal."

"I would love to argue with that but I'm starving. Let me just go change and I'll be back out." Adalind sighed, getting up and heading for her bedroom. She contemplated for a moment what to change into, knowing her mother would critique her if she put on what she really wanted, but she just didn't have the motivation to dress up just for one meal, so she compromised, putting on a fluffy warm sweater and a nice pair of lounge pants. She brushed her hair into a tidy low ponytail before heading back out.

"What are you doing?" Adalind asked, seeing her mother rifling through her shopping bag.

"Why do you have these ingredients? This looks like the making for an anti-conjuring spell."

"Yes it is." she answered snatching the bag off the table away from her and going to deposit it in her room. She would need to make sure to start that tonight. she wasn't sure if she should be happy or not that it would take twenty-four hours to brew before she could even perform the spell. It meant there was a possibility that she could have yet another night with her Grimm before it was over.

"Why are you making a Arrêter une conjuration? Who have you conjured?" Catherine asked when Adalind came back out.

"Why is that important? Didn't you say you wanted to have dinner?" Adalind countered heading straight for the table that was set for the two of them.

The smell of Italian making her hum in appreciation. She was grateful that her mother wasn't trying to force one of her overly complicated, overrated meals down her throat and instead went for some of Adalind's favorite comfort foods. She went right for the arancini, placing two on her plate before ladling a bowl full of ribollita.

"Here, this should off set the carbs in those." Her mother said setting down two side salads. Adalind glanced at them and snorted.

"Yeah, I cant eat that." she told her.

"Why not?"

"Because I'm allergic to raw tomatoes. Did you forget?"

"Oh, that's right. Well never mind then." She said, taking her seat, not even apologizing for her faux pas. "So, who have you conjured? Was it Sean?"

"It doesn't matter. Thanks for dinner. I haven't eaten all day."

"You know you can have the real deal. you don't have to stoop to conjuring." Her mother persisted.

"I'll keep that in mind. Was there a reason you decided to come over?" Adalind evaded. There was no way she was willing to tell her mother about her night with Nick. Catherine huffed but let it go.

"Do I need a reason to visit my daughter?"

"No, but you usually have one. So, what is it? Here to try to talk me back into Sean's employ again?" she asked, savoring her spoonful of soup.

"I'm just worried about you. You seem to have done a 180 overnight. One minute you are gung-ho to help and be his amor, and the next you want nothing to do with him. What changed?"

"We have already talked about this. You already know what changed. I don't want to be used. Especially since I know that once I am no longer of use to either of you I will be discarded."

"What makes you think that?" Catherine asked in shock.

"Call it a feeling or a hunch." She shrugged.

"Come now. You know -."

"Do you know where I was at, mother? I was at the hospital."

"The hospital? Whatever for?"

"I lost a client today."

"Did they fire you at the hospital? Why?"

"No, they…" Adalind sighed, setting down her spoon. "I was there because he was dying, and he wanted to see me. Do you know what I found when I got there? I found his daughter sitting with him. He has three kids, but she was the only one there with him, giving him that last connection before he died. I sat with them as he slowly passed away. I was there when his last words breathed were that he loved her with all his heart. I stayed to comfort her because she just lost her last parent, her last family because her brothers could give two shits about her or him for that matter."

"That's awful."

"That man loved his daughter more then anything in this world, short of his wife who passed last year. I had only known him for a short time and mostly in a professional compacity but in that short time he always managed to tell me small tidbits about her and how proud of her he was. How he was happy that she found her passion even if it wasn't the same as his. she found her passion and became great at it. Sure, it didn't make her as much money as what she would have if she had followed him, like his sons, but she was happy with her path. She worked hard for it, and she did it on her own. She chose not to use his money and status to blaze that path and he was proud of her for that." Adalind said looking her mother straight in the eye.

"And do you know what I thought about through it all. You, mother. I thought about you and about how, not once in my whole life did you ever say you were proud of me, that you were happy that I found my passion, that I made my own path and followed it. And sure, it wont give me the same accolades that using my hexenbeist powers would, but it was my path, my dream, and my happiness."

"Adalind-."

"When you found out that I wanted to pursue a law degree instead of being a trophy wife you told me how disappointing it was. I worked my ass off in school to graduate top of my class and to be hired right off the bat at a prestigious law firm and you never once congratulated me or even acted as if you cared."

"Of course I care, you're my daughter."

"I'm your daughter in blood only, not in actual affection or connection. I'm your daughter when you need something from me, not because you actually care. And that became apparent once Sean came into the picture. I can't remember the last time, before him, that you showed actual care. Honestly, I can't even remember the last time you even told me you loved me."

"Adalind, you know I love you."

"Do I? you don't say it. I'm not even sure if you can say it. I've said it, just last week I said it and all you did was hug me. When was the last time you said it to me or any one for that matter?"

Her mouth opened but no words came out.

"Never mind, its not important. I've come to terms with the fact that I'm a tool for you to use if you can. And that's why I will no longer go along with your and Sean's scheme. Because just like you Sean only comes to me, only shows care and affection if he can get something out of me. the first sign that I am no longer of use to either of you, and you will both go back to ignoring my existence again." Adalind said picking her spoon back up and continuing to eat.

"I had no idea you felt this way." Catherine said with a bit of consternation in her tone.

"Of course you didn't. It would require you to pay attention to me long enough to hear me." She snarked back but then regretted it when she saw a tiny bit of hurt in her mother's eyes. "Mother, I love you. for some insane reason I really do but I don't want your life. I don't want to survive on my powers, charms, and wiles. I may be a hexenbeist, but I am also still a woman and I want things that a lot of women want. I want real love, real happiness, real connections, and I want those things without having to resort to scheming and trickery and without using my powers to get them."

The silence that followed was thick with tension, Adalind pushing her spoon through her bowl without actually taking a bite. Her appetite waned as she finally spoke her truth. Catherine shocked at what all her daughter revealed and not sure how to salvage this. She tried to find some way to dispute what was said but couldn't think of how. Finally, she settled on resignation.

"Well, I'm sorry that you feel that way." she said setting her napkin down on the table and moving to stand. "Maybe its best if we take some time apart to… re-evaluate things."

"Maybe we should." Adalind agreed. Catherine stood, trying to keep her composure and hesitated, not knowing what to do next.

"Do consider giving Sean a call. If you are conjuring him then there are still feelings there." She said.

"Goodbye mother."

With her head held high Catherine left and Adalind spelled her door to keep her from re-entering. Pushing her plate away she stared off into space thinking over everything she just told her mother. She has never really spoken this way to her before and though she felt it was overdue she was left feeling empty and sad. She wasn't sure how much of her relationship with her could be saved.

*GRIMM*

Adalind's dreams were interspersed, and none of them involved the Grimm. Instead focusing on her mother, Sean and even Mr. Fengrer. So, it was safe to safe that this morning she was not in the best of moods. She did manage to get the potion brewing the previous night and it was gently simmering when she checked. She didn't dare touch it, not wanting to interrupt the process, not even to stir it. She had until midnight to perform the spell and she was actually looking forward to it. as amazing as the dreams were she felt that she needed peace. Peace from everything. She wanted a good nights sleep for once, one where she didn't wake either exhausted or aroused.

She stood at her counter, dressed for work, munching on leftovers as she thought over her schedule for the day. Not too busy, mainly in her office going over paperwork and since she was there when he passed she wanted to get started on Mr. Fengrer's trust and will. She would call to check in with Cindy later today, just to make sure the woman wasn't drowning in despair.

After one last check of her cauldron, she grabbed her briefcase and left. She made sure to spell her door this time so she would not come back to any unwelcome visitors. She wouldn't put it past her mother to contact Sean after she left and fill him in on all that Adalind had said the night before. She was sure she would receive either a call or visit from him.

She stopped at the café and got an extra-large coffee before making her way to her office. She wanted to turn around and leave again when she saw who was waiting for her in reception.

"Let me guess, my mother called you." she said, walking right past him on her way to her office. She knew he would follow.

"She's just worried, Adalind." Sean said, following her in and closing the door.

Adalind set her cup and brief case down before taking off her suit jacket and hanging it on the hook and taking a seat.

"Let me be honest Sean. I have had a rough night, and this morning is already not starting off the best. I am in no mood to keep defending myself against the two of you or to keep rebuking your attempts to get me back on your side and help you get the key."

"That's not why she called me and that's not why I am here."

"Okay, so why did she call you, which prompted you to come here, again?"

Sean, undoing a button on his jacket and sitting regally on the couch, pierced her with his gaze. There was a little amusement there but mostly just concern.

"She told me that you had plans to do a Arrêter une conjuration." He said and Adalind choked on a laugh.

"Have neither of you ever heard of privacy. Why would she tell you that? and why would it concern you?"

"Of course it concerns me. I had no idea you felt that strongly about me to do a conjuring."

"Who said that it was for you? Have you been having dreams about me that I don't know about?" she asked with a quirked brow.

"Well no. But Catherine told me that you said you were conjuring me, so-."

"I didn't tell her that I was conjuring you. she asked who I was conjuring and mentioned you. I just didn't correct her. But rest assured this has nothing to do with you."

"Well, if it's not me then who are you conjuring? Have you been seeing someone?" he asked and there was an edge to his tone that shot a sick thrill through Adalind.

"Jealous?" she smirked, leaning forward on her desk.

"and if I am?" he asked in return. She jerked back and blinked at him.

"No, you're not." She said shaking her head.

"Adalind, despite what you may think I really do care for you, and I hate to think that my actions or your mothers could make you doubt that."

"No, you care about power and how to get it."

"That may be true but that doesn't mean that I don't care about you. I know I messed up on a lot of fronts. I do regret making you feel like you were nothing more then a tool, that was not my intention. I genuinely thought we were on the same page with things."

Adalind took a moment to study him, seeing that on some level he actually did feel that way. she slumped back in her chair, grabbing her cup and taking a sip of the cooling beverage.

"I believe you Sean… to an extent." She said before he could relax anymore. "I believe that in your own way you do care about me. I believe that on some level you didn't intend to use me, and I even believe that you actually thought that we shared the same goal. Honestly, I thought the same at one time. I could imagine myself with you as your queen helping you rule. I was ready to give up everything I achieved to do that because my feelings for you were real."

She held up a hand when he opened his mouth to speak.

"However, now I know it would have never ended up that way."

"Why wouldn't it? that sounds like an amazing picture of what our future could be."

"You think that your constituents, your subjects, the community as a whole would except a hexenbeist as part of the ruling family? It would be hard enough to get them to except a zauberbeist, even a half one, as king. But there is no way they would want two beisters ruling it all. If, and that is a big if, you were to pull off this plan to take the throne, what do you think would happen? Your father has already tried to hunt both you and your mother down to have you killed for how long? You think that any of the other ruling families, your brother, are just going to sit back and let you take control without a fight? You would be constantly looking over your shoulder, we would be constantly looking over our shoulders. Trying to figure out who is against and who is for us. Who we can trust versus who we have to eliminate. And what if we had a kid, is that the kind of life you would want to have for any child you have. One that would have to constantly be on guard against assassination attempts. Does that sound like a pretty picture of what a future with us together would be?"

"But it wouldn't be like that. I have enough-."

"Yes, I know. you have enough people in support of you taking over to pull off this coo you are planning. I get that. But how many of them do you actually trust? How many of them would you trust to have your back without stabbing you in it if given the chance, if they got a better offer."

He said nothing, taking in what she said. he knew she was right in her worries about that kind of future, but he was adamant that he could still get the throne and prove his worthiness.

"Look Sean, I respect you, I do. As a police captain because you are very good at your job, and you take pride in it. But us being together again is not something I want any longer. I have my own goals and aspirations and they don't line up with what you want. I have enjoyed the time we had together, but this is it for us. I really do wish you the best in finally getting what you want, just leave me out of it." she said with a wave of her hand and shake of her head. Sean looked at her wondering where this new Adalind had come from. She was nothing like the simp he had known before and though he respected the change he was disappointed that she would no longer be an asset.

"Are you sure this is what you want?" he asked carefully.

"I just want to be happy Sean, on my terms, no one else's." she admitted with a sigh.

"Okay, if this is really how you want things."

"It is. But I do hope we can stay civil. We both work in law and at some point I am sure our paths will cross." The last thing Adalind wanted was to be on his bad side, but she wasn't willing to sacrifice herself for him any longer.

"Absolutely. I will never let personal matters affect my professional life." He said standing.

"Thank you, I appreciate that. Now, I should probably get some work done."

"Of course. Have a good day, Ms. Schade."

"You as well, captain." Adalind said with a smile as she picked up her phone. He took that as a dismissal and left.

** A Pure Adalind chapter, the next one may be pure Nick. we will see how it works out. But the connection break is coming up, just stay with me. Hope you enjoyed. **