Chapter 18 - Screw That

I was increasingly getting better day after day and I soon felt stimulated, motivated and strong enough to help with all the chores around Camp, but despite that, I had the feeling that I still wasn't doing enough. Yes, for the first couple of days I had been too ill to even move, let alone get out of bed, but I still felt like I was being lazy and making a mountain out of a molehill. But looking on the bright side, I had managed to regain my sense of smell and taste back to good order and I could eat properly now, so that was a relieving bonus.

On the other hand, I was not mentally better. I was having anxiety pertaining to my existence in Camp and that was due to the thought of half of the public bad mouthing me and calling me pathetic. And I mean specifically my classmates and people I went to school with. I could just see them…with their grating, inflicting faces laughing at me and telling me that I wasn't made for this sort of thing. I was also thinking that they were posting content all over their social media and making comments about my progress in the jungle. Part of me wanted to somehow get hold of my mobile phone and see if my speculations had been correct because I was paranoid, but part of me also didn't want to due to the thought of what I would see.

However, my thoughts were interrupted by Gracie addressing me. "Hey, are you all right?"

I looked up from eating my beef liver and rice meal and up at her. "Mhm. I'm okay."

"Are you sure?" Gracie asked, moving around to sit down on the log I was sitting on. "You're staring into space quite a lot. Are you thinking about something?"

Was I…? Yes. I was going to let Gracie know what was on my mind. After all, if she was confident with confessing her worries and problems to me, then it was only fair if I did the same back. I took a deep breath, placed my food to my side and faced my gorgeous love interest. "I…I'm just a little bit worried about what the public are thinking about me. I mean, I've been really sick for the past few days and even though I'm almost better, I feel like the public will still try and vote me off. I..I'm trying to help more around Camp, I really am, but people always find a way to tell me that whatever I do, it isn't enough."

"I totally get what you mean." Gracie said. "But…this is awful. We're all the way on the other side of the world and you shouldn't have to worry about something like that. You know, don't think I'm being rude, but you seem like one of those quiet kids and…you just have that aura about you that you've been bullied for quite some time."

I sighed heavily. "It's fine. I have been bullied for a while actually."

"Why?" Gracie asked. "I don't see anything wrong with you."

"No no no." I chuckled and shook my head. "People always make me feel like there's a lot of things wrong with me. And there is."

"What? What do you think is wrong with yourself?"

I let out another dejected sigh before replying, "Well, this is a pretty deep subject to talk about, but when my mum died, I got very depressed and so…I started eating a lot more than usual and…I gained a lot of weight. I remember all my classmates laughing at me and my appearance, and I can't believe it, but I'm still being mocked about it now, even though I don't think I look so bad."

Gracie smiled, which I didn't know whether to take as polite disagreement or support. "I agree. You don't look bad at all."

"I know, but even despite what you've said, I still think otherwise." I rubbed my right forearm. "See, I've always worried about what other people think about me and I thought that maybe going on this show would make me feel more confident about myself, but right now, I'm not feeling confident."

"Oh…" Gracie tutted and placed her hand on top of mine, which was an action that made me turn hot all over. I hoped to the stars that I wasn't blushing and that Gracie couldn't feel my pulse. "You shouldn't worry about what people think about you because you're a great guy with a great personality."

Hearing those words from Gracie was like music to my ears except it accompanied by causing my body temperature to increase more. A smile slowly formed on my flushed face. "Really? Are you really being true?"

Gracie nodded solemnly before grinning. "Every single word. What we think is that you don't deserve to be talked down to and bullied, especially when you're still broken hearted over losing your mum."

I bit the inside of my cheek and gulped at the memory, the tragic memory.

"Look," Gracie said, placing a hand on my shoulder. "Don't be sad. We're all planning to spend the day at the lake. Do you want to come with?"

"What, swimming?" I asked, my eyes immediately lighting up.

"Um, yes, why?"

Yes. Yes yes yes. I was totally in for this. No slight refusal anywhere. "Uh…" I giggled nervously. "Okay! I'll go with you, but…aren't Scarlet's friends going to be there?"

Gracie bit her lip. "Yeah…but I'd say that now that Scarlet and Poppy have now been voted off, Maggie and Cleo won't be so bad. After all, it's said that a person can change when another person is taken from their side, so I wouldn't worry about it. They're not being influenced anymore, so I don't think they'll bully you."

Okay. Now I couldn't wait a single second. Immediately, I set about searching through all my things, trying to look for my trunks. I even started muttering to myself excitedly. "Where are they…? Where are they…?"

However, I must've overdone it because Gracie chuckled at my behaviour. "Are you excited?" she asked.

I nodded, but tensed up, hoping that she wouldn't discover why I was excited. "Yeah. It's really hot today, and I love swimming, so I think it'll be great!"

Now, part of me was telling the truth, but part of me was hiding something else. I really hope I don't sound like a pervert, but I was pretty curious to see what Gracie looked like in a swimming costume. I hadn't been in a situation like this before, so on top of that, I found myself thinking, is it normal for a guy to do this when he's in love? Am I really a pervert? Great, now I felt guilty, but…I just couldn't help control my feelings.

However, I tried to think of the other ways this trip could benefit us and I couldn't believe it, but it had been a couple of days since I last washed and I thought it would be pleasant if I had a dip in some water and cleansed myself a little bit. Also, I felt like I really had to cool down because so far, today had been a scorching hot day and I thought that if my body didn't hit cold water within a certain amount of time, I would be burnt to cinders, so I quickly packed my bag. But before me and the rest of my campmates could leave for the lake, we heard what sounded like a bag being lowered down from the wooden balcony in Camp and we were perfectly right. We all crowded around the bag, curious as to what was in it and its contents consisted of two cardboard boxes containing inflatables!

Wow! It was like the producers could see us all the time! Immediately, all of us started celebrating and after shouting thank you up to the balcony (despite there was nobody up there), we made our way down to the lake, and even though I was feeling really hyped up at the thought of having a swim, I also felt a little disappointed. I was aware that Alex and Jack were off doing a trial earning stars for tonight's dinner and it would've been even more fun if Jack was here because yes, I had only known him for nearly a week, but he always brought fun and games into any situation, however damp and dull it may have been.

Nevertheless, that didn't mean that all of this trip was going to be tedious because Gracie was going to be there as well, and who knew? Perhaps she would surprise me with the way she would glide through the water and the adorable way she would peacefully spread out on an inflatable, the water dampening her hair a seaweed green. Agh! I had to stop this! I had to prevent myself from staring at her for too long because if she noticed me doing so, I think our friendship would more or less be strained, so I really needed to focus on maintaining my composure during this jaunt.

The moment the lake came into sight, me and my campmates instantly started changing into our swim clothes and we all felt so hot that we didn't even bother getting in slowly, especially me. I had ended up scaling a mountain of rocks, then bombing into the water. It almost had a sting to it, but I tried to ignore it and enjoy myself finally cooling down at last. The first thing I saw when I delved down below the surface was Gracie, twisting and turning around in water and I had to say, I almost inhaled a batch of water because it was as if I had come face to face with a water goddess. Oh my god…

We both rose up for air in sync and another thing caught my eye. The way the beads of water dripped off of Gracie's bangs…wow. It created ripples in the water around me and honestly, I felt like taking her in my arms and whisking her around for hours on end. For all those hours, me and my campmates enjoyed ourselves, messed about with the inflatables, dived into the water and just genuinely had an amazing time. To my surprise, I was expecting all the boys to start peer pressuring me into performing dangerous tricks near the water, but strangely, they didn't. Well, it seemed that Alex being away from them had knocked a little bit of sense into them too.

After considering that Jack and Alex ought to be back at Camp by now, we all got out of the water and dried ourselves, still shaking with adrenaline from hours and hours of entertainment. But, things were not happy for very long. As we were putting all of our clothes back on, we suddenly heard raised and angry voices arguing with each other. One of them sounded annoyingly familiar and the other one sounded pained and hurt. I listened intently to what they were arguing about and the annoying one shouted, "Well, if you weren't such a fucking pussy, I wouldn't have had to do that! Thanks a lot for making us starve, Marigold!" Then I heard what sounded like a slap and then a yelp of pain.

Me and my campmates all crowded together, desperate to see what was going on. We peered out from behind the trees and we saw Alex storming towards us and Jack standing a few feet away, clutching his face. "Jack!" I called, running over to him as my campmates followed. "Are you alright? What happened?" After getting closer to him, my eyes softened at the sight of his distressed face and, along with that, a massive, red hand print swiped across his left cheek. He didn't reply to what I said, instead, he just walked past us, as if we weren't here.

"Wow." Will said. "Give him a rest, Ludwig. I think he needs some time alone."

I sighed, nodded, then thought no more about it.

…

The sun at last disappeared below the horizon and now it was finally nighttime, the time I had been waiting for for ages. I was ready to fall asleep after half a day of swimming and exercising. My joints in my arms and legs almost felt stiff from moving so much today, and I couldn't wait to drift off into the world of dreams, but before my eyes fully shut, I noticed a little bit of movement through the slits in my eyelids. I saw that it was Jack sitting down on a log right by the fire, resting his chin on his hand and looking the most miserable I had ever seen him. The flames lit up his face with an orange glow and what made me feel terrible was occasionally, he kept on blinking and wiping his face hastily. Was…was he crying? Oh, it certainly looked like it.

Without a second thought, I rose up out of my bed and sat next to him. "Are you okay? Is this about what happened earlier?"

Jack nodded and sighed. "It's Alex, I…just can't do this anymore. You've seen him, he's constantly nagging me to make sure to get the right amount of water every day." He sniffled. "And…no matter what I say, no matter what I do, he just rips it out of me."

"What even happened?" I asked. "Did you succeed at your trial you did earlier?"

Jack sniffled and shook his head. "No… So basically, what we had to do was kneel in a tank and Alex asked me general knowledge questions about Australia and each time I got one right, I had to swim around and find the star that was next to the picture representing the answer." He took a deep breath. "And I kept on getting really stressed out because…my worst fear is drowning in a tight space and eventually, Alex must've got so annoyed with me that…he pulled the plug on his tank, thus filling up mine…"

My eyes widened. "Oh god. Was there a breathing hole at the top?"

"No… I saw everything he did. It was awful. I thought I was going to die, but luckily, Mark and the helpers for the trial saw me banging against the glass and they opened a hatch at the top so I could get out."

Now I was angry. "What?! What a dickhead! Why would Alex do that to someone? Let alone someone he barely knows?!"

"I don't know." Jack's voice cracked again. "But all I know is that I've had enough. If someone nominates me to do a trial, then I'm going to refuse. Screw that, I'm not doing something like that again."

"What do you mean, 'you've had enough'? You're not going to leave, are you?"

"Yes I am. I've had enough, that was the last straw. I'm not staying if he's staying!"

I put an arm round Jack and held him close. "Please, calm down. Listen to me. I doubt Alex is going to be here for much longer after what everyone saw what he did to you. Trust me on this."

"Do you really think so?"

"I know so, now stop worrying. You'll be fine within the next day." I broke away from our little hug and looked Jack right in his burnt orange eyes. "We're here for you, Jack. We love you. Now, let's just hope that that arsehole doesn't stay here for more than an hour into tomorrow."

Jack slowly nodded. "I hope…"