AN
Let's take care of the toad infestation, shall we?
March to April 1996, 5th year
The Slytherin did not appear to be nervous, Harry would give him that. But that was to be expected from a Slytherin. He also did not seem to be bothered by the way Harry was still lying with his head in Theodore's lap, even after acknowledging that the Slytherin wanted to speak with him. All in the other's favour, so far.
Slytherin House was, out of the four, probably the only one where nearly every member believed in the Dark Lord's return. This made for some interesting discussions in the privacy of the Slytherin Common Room, none of which Harry ever participated in and almost all of which he liked to eavesdrop on. Some had actually bothered Harry about the Dark-Lord-whom-he-defeated-as-an-infant issue at the very beginning of the school year, he remembered that – but he couldn't recall what he had said to get rid of them. No one had approached him since.
"Go on," Harry said. "Make me an offer."
The Slytherin nodded. "Professor Umbridge holds the position of High Inquisitor and has the Minister of Magic's backing. It is therefore almost impossible to remove her from the school via legal means."
Huh. This was not at all what Harry had expected to hear.
"And you want her gone," he said, slowly sitting up just, so he could cock his head to one side and scrutinize the boy properly. "Why?"
There was only a brief moment of hesitation, almost imperceptible, before the Slytherin replied, "Her disciplinary methods are … questionable."
Harry arched one eyebrow.
The Slytherin's mouth thinned. "Are you familiar with Blood Quills?"
"No Slytherin has experienced the effects of a Blood Quill this year," Harry said in lieu of answering the question directly.
Because no Slytherin was stupid enough to get into detention. Any detention
"No Slytherin, no," the boy agreed.
"A friend from a different house? No." Harry narrowed his eyes. "A sibling."
The boy gave a terse nod.
"Reporting to their Head of House did not provide any results, I take it?" Harry drawled, though there was no need for an answer.
The pink toad had probably been using a Blood Quill in her detentions all year, but all anyone had ever said was that she made them 'write lines'. It was curious how no one had dared to speak out publicly against her, but the woman was able to fire teachers anytime – there had been a commotion just last week, something involving a Centaur – implement rules on a whim, and she had the full support of the Minister, himself.
"I would be willing to provide you with a copy of Secrets of the Darkest Art, if you can ensure her removal from the school," the Slytherin said.
"I certainly can ensure her removal," Harry said with a shrug, "but I am already in possession of a copy of Secrets of the Darkest Art." Although he had not read it, yet.
There was a flash of surprise, followed by something resembling awe, before the Slytherin schooled his face back into something controlled, something neutral.
Harry would have done it without receiving anything in return – getting rid of the pink toad would certainly provide for some nice entertainment, doing so undetected might even provide for some fun. But who was he to refuse an offer like this?
"Perhaps a different book, then," the Slytherin said. "Our family's library is vast and ancient."
"The Necronomicon," Harry said, just to test how far he was willing to go.
The Slytherin paled. "Ah, that is – Perhaps a less … precarious publication?"
'Precarious' indeed – that book had been banned in almost every existing country for centuries. Harry would really love to get his hands on a copy one day.
He supressed a smirk, pretending to think for a moment. "Would The Grimoire of Herpon ho deinos count as 'less precarious'?"
"That … could be arranged," the Slytherin said with a terse nod.
"Then she will be gone a week after I receive the book," Harry said, finally allowing the smirk to spread across his lips.
o
The Grimoire of Herpon ho deinos proved to be a very informative read. It certainly gave Harry more than enough ideas to test out on the pink toad. But, alas, there were only so many he could try that didn't involve her death and most of them could not be used in tandem without risking her death, either. It didn't have to be elaborate, anyway, so Harry chose what he thought of as a simple, yet effective method. To get revenge.
The Slytherin may have merely asked him to 'have her removed' and Harry was not personally affected by anything the pink toad had done so far – but this was an opportunity.
The first spell cursed Umbridge with seven days of bad luck. She stubbed her toe on a stone, misplaced important scrolls, ate something bad during breakfast, confused sugar with salt – little things like that. As the streak of bad luck continued for seven consecutive days, almost everyone at the school took notice, of course, and it didn't take long before the rumour mill was buzzing with theories upon theories about what may have been causing this.
The second one took seven days to set up – hence the bad luck curse – and a lot of preparation and other spells to accompany it. Harry had to gather the required ingredients, write several runic circles in blood, take extra caution in his precision – even more so, because he had tweaked the conditions and effects considerably – and infuse it all with magic for seven hours beginning at midnight on the seventh day. The preparations came along very well, although when Harry raised the dagger to his arm to draw the blood for the first circle, Theodore, who had requested to be allowed to witness Harry's Gift in action, insisted Harry use his blood instead.
"There is no need for you to injure yourself," Theodore said, almost pleadingly. "This curse is complicated enough. You should save your energy for the last step."
Harry did not point out that a little bit of blood loss wouldn't faze him in the slightest and instead concentrated on drawing the runic sequences in Theodore's blood and healing his wounds afterwards, making sure no scars would remain.
The curse, when cast successfully, would return all the damage Umbridge had inflicted upon anyone in the whole school to her. Because this would mostly amount to the Blood Quill, Harry had changed it to delocalise the damage to random body parts (although he had specifically included her tongue) to maximise the effectiveness. Harry also added the same healing spells of a Blood Quill, the mechanics of which he had found in a different book about the Dark Arts – and wasn't that interesting? The very same person who was so much against the Dark Arts that she wouldn't even allow spells in defence against them was using a Dark Object for punishments.
After all the preparations were complete, Harry used his Cloak of Invisibility (feeling thrilled to put it on and feel how its magic worked around him for the first time – somehow, it had never occurred to him before to actually put it on to further investigate its magic) to prepare the pink toad's living quarters. He had to lock her in, of course, using magic that needed more than a mere 'Alohomora' to open. The silencing charms were necessary to prevent her from calling for help and possible cries of pain alerting anyone outside. The protective wards kept everyone from disturbing her and added to the magic preventing her from leaving her quarters.
In the end, Dolores Umbridge ended up with rather severe scarring all over her body. If one took the time to look more closely, they might even make out words and whole sentences like 'I must not disrespect authority figures.' or 'I must not set off dungbombs in a classroom.'
Harry felt a rush of triumph when he saw the fruits of his (and Theodore's) labour that only intensified when both Theodore and the Slytherin who had initially approached him regarded Harry with unabashed awe for the briefest moment, before putting up their public masks – and for a considerably longer amount of time in the safety of the Slytherin Common Room.
Neither the bad luck nor the permanent scarring were guaranteed to lead to the pink toad leaving the school, of course, and Harry had prepared several more spells beforehand – but he did not need to use any of them, in the end, because the old man (after casting a disapproving look over the student body) actually stepped in and removed her with aggressive concern for her well-being and veiled threats alluding to her very illegal use of a Blood Quill against minors. Harry, meanwhile, made the gleeful discovery that not even the old man could sense his presence when under the Cloak of Invisibility, not even with Harry glaring at the Elder Wand the whole time – and Harry was fairly sure that the old man would have sensed Harry had he used a normal Invisibility Cloak – and snatched a silver instrument or two on his way out just because he could.
The only downside, really, was that Harry was called into the headmaster's office once again, because Harry was apparently on top of the old man's list of suspects.
"But, sir," Harry said, widening his eyes, "I wouldn't even know where to find a spell that could do this. Surely the Hogwarts library doesn't contain a book like that?"
"Indeed not, my dear boy," the old man said gravely. "This was very Dark Magic and it needs more than a mere spell to make it work. Perhaps the ritual was found in a family heirloom."
"The person who did it must have held a very large grudge against Professor Umbridge, then," Harry said slowly, ignoring the implication behind the last sentence – of course the old man would suspect Slytherin. Because Slytherin was obviously the only house with students hailing from old wizarding families with heirlooms of dark origin.
The book in question might have come from the family collection of a Slytherin, in this particular case, but it was neither a family heirloom, nor was that family of Slytherin only. Harry did not know in which house the Slytherin's younger sibling had been sorted into, but it was not Slytherin.
"It would appear so."
"May I ask what could have caused such a grudge?"
The old man mustered him intently. "I understand that you have not served a single detention with Professor Umbridge. Is that correct?"
Harry nodded, his eyes still wide and unassuming. "I never served any detention, sir. I try not to cause unnecessary trouble."
"An admirable trait, my dear boy. Very admirable." The old man sighed. "It was an unfortunate turn of events. Not only did a student put a very dangerous curse on a teacher, the teacher in question is also a highly respected Ministry employee. I could not, in good conscience, let Professor Umbridge continue teaching in her condition. But I am afraid of the consequences that might follow the actions I was forced to take."
"Oh," Harry said, feigning surprise. "But, sir, surely the Ministry will understand? You only wished to protect us students, after all. And –" Harry bit his lip. "And I heard that the curse didn't harm Professor Umbridge directly, but returned the harm she had conflicted upon others. I don't know – I mean, I'm not sure how severe that harm was, but – You did convince her to leave, so …" He trailed off, averting his eyes and clenching his hands into fists in his lap.
The pink toad had used an illegal torture device on children – surely, that provided more than enough leverage for the old man to use against the Ministry?
The old man sighed again, more heavily. "Unfortunate circumstances, like I said. Perhaps this is for the better. Regardless, we must find the person who cast the curse. They might put the students in grave danger."
"I understand, sir," Harry said, raising his head in determination. "If I hear anything that might prove to be helpful, I will let you know immediately."
"Thank you, Harry," the old man said, smiling softly. "You may go now."
Harry nodded meekly and left the office. He barely managed to leave the corridor where the Gargoyle guarded the staircase to the headmaster's office, before he burst into laughter.
"Everything went well, then?" Theodore asked mildly, coming up from behind Harry.
Harry shot him a smirk. "Of course it did. The old man will always be suspicious of me, but my performance was flawless. I'm sure he's still scratching his head, wondering if he might be mistaken about me, after all." He batted his eyelashes. "How could such a sweet, innocent boy curse someone that never harmed him in any way?"
Theodore stared at him in awe.
Harry, grinning wildly, leaned over to give him a peck on the lips, before taking his hand and dragging him off to the dungeons, where they could go to their dormitory and have a bit more privacy. Once there, Harry warded the room, flopped down on Theodore's bed and recounted what had transpired in the headmaster's office, while he carded his fingers through Theodore's hair.
"You truly are marvellous," Theodore breathed when Harry was done. "I knew it from the moment we met – how special you are." He abruptly sat up to bow his head. "My Lord."
Harry paused, then slowly narrowed his eyes. "I do not want you to call me that ever again."
Theodore gulped. "I – apologize. It – It just slipped out."
Harry almost growled at those words. "I appreciate you as a friend, Theo," he said slowly. "As an equal – as much as anyone can be my equal, anyway, considering that I am gifted like no one else. Do you understand?"
Theodore nodded wordlessly.
Harry mustered him for a moment.
"Get up. Take a step back," Harry said, watching Theodore obey without hesitation. "Turn around. Now walk away."
Theodore did not make a sound, did not falter, but Harry saw the tension in his shoulders. He could almost see the pained expression in his mind that his friend must have been trying desperately to hide behind a mask of indifference as he left the dormitory.
Harry closed his eyes and let himself fall backwards onto the bed. He had never intended to hurt Theodore, yet he always seemed to do it anyway – and intentionally at that.
They were hypocrites, both of them.
o
When the Ravenclaw first approached him, Harry thought someone had found out about his involvement in Umbridge's removal and passed the story around. Then it turned out that the girl was the younger sibling of the Slytherin who had approached Harry with the request in the first place and her elder brother hadn't actually told her anything, she had merely put two and two together.
"I have a request," she said, ignoring the way Theodore openly glared at her, "a very small one compared to my brother's."
Harry made a gesture for her to go on, while raising an eyebrow at Theodore, who froze momentarily and then turned away. They had not 'made up', yet, after Harry had sent Theodore away for calling him 'Lord', though an argument like this hardly mattered between them. Not even Susan had noticed anything amiss and Susan not only knew them both very well, but also had the advantage of possessing empathy (something Harry would never quite understand).
"There is a girl in my year," the Ravenclaw continued. "Her name is Luna Lovegood and our housemates bully her. I do not know what might be a proper compensation for you to stop her bullies, but I am willing to provide reasonable recompense."
"Is she your friend?" Harry asked.
"No."
Harry frowned. "Then why are you asking me for help?"
"Because no one else is going to do anything."
Harry did not quite understand why the Ravenclaw was doing this, but – sure. Whatever.
"Do you know whether they harm her physically or do things like call her names, humiliate her, steal and destroy her belongings?"
The Ravenclaw took a moment to think, then replied. "I am not sure about the physical harm, but the rest – certainly."
"I guess we'll find out either way," Harry murmured, already going over several options in his head.
He would definitely see about casting a milder, more instant version of the curse he had put on the pink toad – one that reacted the moment someone harmed the victim. He had worked out the mechanics behind the original curse, so he was fairly sure he could recreate something similar with his Gift. He had done so before, after all – with Portkeys. But that was only retaliation. To stop the bullying permanently, he would need something else, something different …
"Why did you not go to your Head of House for help?" Theodore asked.
Harry blinked.
"Because the teachers of this school have proved time and again how incompetent they are," the Ravenclaw replied, clutching the back of her left hand. "Besides, what could Professor Flitwick possibly do that would help Lovegood in the long term? Put some students in detention? That would only make them target her more. No. I believe someone who is capable of getting rid of the High Inquisitor is much more suited for this."
Theodore nodded, his expression smug. "Well reasoned."
"So, will you help?" the Ravenclaw asked Harry.
"Sure," Harry said. "Would an Invisibility Cloak be too expensive as compensation?"
"An Invisibility Cloak?" the Ravenclaw asked.
"Preferably Demiguise Hair. I want to take one apart to see how they work."
The Ravenclaw's lips twitched. "Are you sure Slytherin is the right house for you?"
"You know? This is not the first time someone asked me that."
The girl shrugged. "My family is more than well-off. If you manage to stop the bullying entirely, then I think that is a fair price."
"Are you going to help people for favours, now?" Theodore asked the moment the Ravenclaw had disappeared.
"Just this once," Harry said. "Her brother is a Slytherin – I'm sure she knows better than to spread the word. If not, a small nudge with my Gift should suffice."
Theodore said nothing in reply.
Over the next few days, Harry began observing his newest targets. The Ravenclaw helpfully pointed Luna Lovegood out to him, though it wouldn't have been necessary. The girl had dirty blonde her, an innocent, carefree air about her and was surrounded by the most interesting magics. Her bullies were easy to spot as well, a mix of different ages, almost all from Ravenclaw. They mostly called her names like 'Loony' and stole her shoes and other belongings – quite harmless and seemingly ineffective against the girl, but Harry had already accepted the request to stop the bullying. According to Susan even harmless and ineffective bullying was 'not okay' and 'should never happen in the first place', so there was that, too.
Harry's newfound interest in Luna Lovegood seemed, inexplicably, to spark something in Theodore. Jealousy, probably, Harry thought, remembering Theodore's initial reaction to Susan back in their first year. There wasn't anything Harry could do, however, to soothe Theodore's fears without getting their recent argument out of the way first. And while Harry would have preferred Theodore to be the one to address it, he was very much aware that would never happen. Theodore never took the first step. Theodore always let Harry take the lead, let Harry decide what course their relationship would take in every single however-minor aspect.
Objectively speaking, Harry was aware that their dormitory was supposed to be available to all six Slytherin boys of their year. That didn't convince him to not use it as an escape for privacy all the time, though.
"You do know I am not mad at you, don't you?" Harry asked.
Theodore, who had refused to sit down next to Harry, froze almost immediately. "You aren't?" he asked and his voice was so very small.
"Of course not," Harry said. "I told you off and –" hurt you "– made you leave and that was that. For me, the topic was over and done with the moment you left the room."
Theodore's eyes widened and Harry almost felt guilty at the quiet triumph that always emerged when he managed to break Theodore's indifferent mask.
"Harry," Theodore said and his voice cracked.
Harry sighed and gestured for Theodore to come closer. "Come here."
Theodore hesitated, but then slowly approached and put his hand in Harry's outstretched one. Harry easily pulled him on the bed and arranged them into a more comfortable position and for a long time, neither of them said anything.
Eventually, though, Harry's patience ran out and he quietly asked, "What is it?"
"You never corrected me," Theodore said, "when I called you Lord – you only reprimanded me for calling you that."
To his credit, Theodore's voice remained steady, unhesitant. But Harry could feel the way he tensed up underneath him.
Harry hummed. "So?"
"Are you going to become a Lord?"
"I do not plan on acquiring a lordship, no."
"Harry. You know what I mean."
Harry raised his head to smile at his friend. "Still a no."
"So Lovegood is not going to be your first follower," Theodore said, almost sounding satisfied.
Harry snorted. "If anyone would be my first follower, it would most certainly be you. But I don't have followers, Theo, I have friends. Two, to be precise."
"What about Lovegood?"
"I find her intriguing."
Theodore huffed. "That's how it starts with you. You already remember her name. Next thing we know, you will be counting three people as your friends."
"Two are already plenty, you know." Harry raised an arm to hide his yawn behind his hand. "Besides, no one will ever be able to take your place, no matter how intriguing I find them to be."
Harry did not see Theodore's pleased smile, because he had already closed his eyes, but he could very well imagine it in his head as Theodore merely said, "Mhn."
AN
Luna will have to wait until next chapter.