She was simply glad that he stayed. As she got into bed, she watched him take off his shirt. Slowly, facing her, but not really looking at her. He didn't take off his pants this time, as he got into their bed. There he was, laying near her, on the left side of the bed. So close and yet so far away. Now she was not sure it was a great idea after all. He was laying on his back, facing the celling, as she was facing him. Watching him. But he didn't look at her, not even once, since he got into bed.

Their wedding was perfect. It was more than she ever wished for. His silent node as she was walking down the aisle. Him holding his breath as he saw her. Him kissing her. Their vows. He was hers, for better or for worse. And she was his. Long time now, really. Their dance felt too intimate for anyone to witness. The feel of him near her burned her from inside. Some sort of new yet already familiar feeling was inflaming in her as her was laying in bed with her.

When he left earlier that night, she already knew. They were too good at communicating without any words. She knew it was her secret indeed. She was truthful saying she doesn't want to publish that often now. It lost a meaning for her in a way. Now as she had him like no one ever did. She had him.

She already knew the answer to his question. It dawned on her as he left. If the truth is out, there's no hurt for anyone. If the truth is out on her own terms. She must tell the Ton. And she will. Oh, how did she wished to tell him right away. The moment when he was back. But she felt. She felt he was not ready to face it. To hear it. To understand it. To see it in a way she does. Saving him a trouble, but leaving him with, maybe sleepless night, she kept her yet another secret for another day. Night was not the time to tell him. Night was not the mood. Everything felt more intense, more vulnerable during nights somehow.

She tossed and turned that night. In their bed. As he didn't even move once. She didn't saw him throwing glances at her, every time she turned her back to him. She didn't notice him almost reach out to put an arm around her. She was unaware of all of his wants and desires. She did know that he would be understandably afraid once she tells him. Once she will unravel her decision, as it was the only right thing to do. She was ready for any consequence of her past actions. She simply wanted him close that night. And she got it, as they both were falling into unknown oblivion of night terror, they never knew before.

As the first sun rays entered their room, he awoke. His eyes still closed. His arm wrapped around her body, her back facing him. He never felt as comfortable waking up. Neither did he felt so aroused by what he was feeling underneath his grip. Her robe raised to her breasts, his hand on her bare waist. Appropriate was the further word on his mind. His hand reached a bit lower, admiring her curvy figure. Her waist, her thigh, her ass. All of her felt perfect. Perfect underneath his touch. So caring, so warm. He felt one of her legs bend a bit higher, allowing his hand to slip between her buttocks. To the warmest place in her body. To her core. And he did. Hand slowly slipping between her legs, but barely touching her skin. Gliding, as it was a forbitten fruit of some sort. Not allowing his eyes to open just yet, his lips reached for her shoulder, leaving a wet kiss. Her sleeping figure instantly reacted to his touch. A light moan. A slight arch of her back. Her butt, bumping into his body. Just at the right spot, making him unable to move away. His hand sipped to her ass yet again, enjoying her soft skin, her movements. The way he made her feel, even when she was half asleep.

And in that moment both their eyes went open. Her moans were still silent, as he was remaining completely silent, caressing her body in an admiring, desiring, caring, longing for her way. His hand was everywhere and no where she needed him the most.

He must stop. It wasn't fair to her. She deserves him whole. But he felt broken. He felt lost.

And he did stop. Not without running his hand over her whole body one last time. From her thigh, to her bum, to in between quickly, to her waist and her full breasts. Leaving a small kiss on her neck, as he turned back to lay on his back.

She felt exposed and lonely. She felt abandoned in a way. She almost felt not wanted by him, as his hand left her body, and his heat left hers. She tried to move her body closer to him, but he only moved more far away from her.

"Why did you stop?" She asked half asleep. Barely a whisper.

"I can't, I am sorry." He whispered back.

And those words cut deeper than she ever knew. He can't. Can't touch her even?

She suddenly turned to her own back and asked.

"You can't even touch me now?"

She sat up.

"You can do all of that… " She looked at him, as he still was looking straight to the celling. "But you can't…" She could not finish her thought. It was too hurtful.

She wanted to run. She wanted to hide. Something deep inside her soul shook, as she quickly got up from the bed that felt so warm just seconds ago. She fixed her robe and started walking to the door.

"I can't be in one bed with you, if you might do this…" She turned around after she tied up her robe firmly around her body. "If you could do this as a…" She could not say punishment. It felt too raw somehow. "I must sleep somewhere else…" She turned to leave.

Since the moment she got up, his scared glare was fixed on her. As soon as she left the bed, he wanted, needed her back. He needed her heat back the same moment it left his for the first time he touched her.

"Stop." He said quickly. Firmly.

"Come back." He ordered.

That stopped her on her way to the door.

"Come back to bed." He repeated with a confidence he didn't know he had in him. "Now." He added as she didn't move.

Standing with her back, her voice sounded so vulnerable he never heard it before like that "If you.." She started.

"Come back." He said more calmly, more needing now.

She turned around. No tears visible. Confusion mixed with slight fear maybe. She slowly walked back to the bed she just left. Their eyes locked on each other. Firmly. Confident. Longing. Fearful. All at once.

She sat on the bed carefully, still looking at her from behind her shoulder. In that exactly moment his hand reached out to her waist, and pulled her closer to him. Noses barely touching. Legs so far away. Their faces way to close.

"I love you." He said as he kissed her. Grabbing her body under his in one swift motion. She responded to the kiss instantly, her hands flying to his hair. His hands separated her legs and he got more comfortable on top of her. He wanted nothing else than to kiss each cell on her body. And he intended to do just that. A few more kisses, as he let her moan fully, moving to her neck. To her shoulder.

His hands undoing her robe.

He took some time on her breasts. Hands admirably sliding lower.

His lips not taking time to move slightly lower also.

He got a bit up, as he watched her confused and lost in desire eyes on him.

He situated himself more south on the bed. And quickly, without letting her thoughts catch up, his lips were back on her body. This time on her thigh, as a loud moan left her mouth. Her head flew back on the pillow, as she enjoyed ever and each new sensation on her body. Him kissing her like that send familiar want right to her core. Her knees slight bended under his firm touch. His hands running back to her waist, as his kisses moved north.

Her eyes flew back to his head, between her wide-open legs, as she felt the first touch of his mouth right at her most intimate part.

Loud "Ohhhh" leaving her lips. His firm grip on her thighs. His glare right at her eyes. All of that send her head back on the pillow once again, as her full body arched under his touch. He sucked on her spot, holding her as still as he could. Her hands holding on the bedsheet for her dear life. One of her leg got up on his shoulder, as the other bended higher up, slowly closing around his head. His hand reached her breast underneath her bended knee, as he firmly squeezed one her nipples.

He did all the right things. Hit all the right spots in her body, she didn't even knew existed. Her body arching, bending, trying to escape this new feeling building up in her body. So intense she trying to move away slightly, only for him to tighten his grip on her body, holding her in place. As he sucked more strongly this time, her whole body went tense. She felt herself squeezing everything she could reach. One of her hands flying to his hair, pulling it hard as he pulled back, lips never leaving her heat. She felt his tongue circle around her spot, pressing firmly. At that moment her body started pulsing, his name suddenly filled the sound of the room, as she let go.

Her mind a fog. His tongue licking something slightly lower and his head rising seconds after. He let go of her legs, as her whole body felt like heavy, making her not able to move at all. He left a small kiss on one of her thighs, as his head rise above her face yet again.

"Never leave our bed like that." He said, catching his own breath. Her eyes opening slightly. "Never again." He said and kissed her lightly on her lips, unfamiliar taste filling her mouth.