This chapter took a while…
Remember the OCs from 2 chapters ago? Here we go again, with their strange Hans-inspired goals…
It's continuing…
-SpiritOfErebus
"This is possibly the… most dubious coverup for a gang that I've seen, Shihiro-kun."
"What?" Shihiro said to the group hunched around the library computer. His stony fingers clicked heavily against the keyboard, making the librarian wince.
It was still probably better than Hasanote, given the fact that she had knives sheathed on her fingertips.
"This is a totally valid proposal. All we have to do to start a protection ring is to get everybody on the street to be a part time employee of the SDL, and send them on a company sponsored trip to their own homes. This way, because companies are responsible for worker safety on trips, any person we hire as a bodyguard can act in order to safeguard their clients or their possessions."
"...They haven't changed that law?" Yuki, the woman wearing a constantly frosting-over blindfold, said.
"And, more importantly, can we use quirks?" Hasanote said, crossing her arms.
"...I mean, self defense laws? We just have to constantly be recording so that we can show evidence that they attacked first."
"...And how will we get… phones? And establish ourselves as a corporate entity?"
"...That's a very, very good question." Shihiro said. "Now, who here has a good credit score?"
"Not me." Tsukanai, the person that made up the 20% quirkless quota not seen anywhere else in a hypothetical show about this world, said immediately.
…
Shihiro had gone to college, and had not managed to pay back his student loans. Therefore, rubbing his forehead bubbling with lava, he sat in front of the bank.
Hasanote had tried to go to art school, and that turned out extremely well. After all, she wasn't addicted to drugs or dedicated to megalomania, like most failing artists. Still, she had borrowed some money, and probably didn't have a good credit score.
The less said about Tsukanai's family debt, the better.
Therefore, the only person with an almost ideal credit score, Yuki, a girl who had gone out on her own to try and live in the big city, was theoretically not homeless (since her parents still actually had a house), had a mailing address, was never arrested, had a relatively mild quirk compared to most people, and had never borrowed money.
Therefore, despite her being blindfolded, she was still the best option. As she walked in, looking through the thin layer of dark cloth that made up her bandanna, she was immediately accosted by the bank's tellers, bypassing a line filled with irritated customers withdrawing their money out of indignation for the bank's harsh employee policies.
"Sir, how do you think your work-life balance has been affected by the bank's harsh policies?"
A string of stereo sounds came out of the man's mouth. A speaker on the side of the accountant said No Comment in a monotonous voice.
"Ma'am, do you have anything to say about the recent controversies?"
"I…I…." a short figure squeaked.
"Yes?"
"I'm just a janitor!" The girl that was literally a blob of water walking around collapsed into a puddle, before gathering back in the absorbent mop and reforming her body.
"Should I be worried about that?" Yuki said, looking at all of the scavenger-like reporters hounding the employees for any complaints about their potentially exploitative managers.
"No, ma'am. Now, follow me. Somebody would want to talk to you."
…
"We'll be glad to support your business, Yuki Chozono." the branch manager said, looking at the blindfold. "And would you be willing to take a picture with us as a part of our disability support program for growing entrepreneurs?"
"But I'm not-" Yuki began.
"It's a great opportunity." the executive said, adjusting his collar. "Besides, it's probably close enough," he muttered. "Nobody will be able to tell the difference, anyways."
"I really don't want to get onto the news or something."
"Nonsense!" the branch manager said, grinning at a person that probably was blind. "We'll… support your future investments if your business does indeed do well."
And so, she walked out of the bank two hours later with a small loan of 1,400,000 yen. Which honestly sounded like a lot, but it was barely enough to pay for rent for two months in an urban apartment.
Having been answering interviews about how the bank was now suddenly supporting disabled entrepreneurs, she was now thoroughly exhausted.
"You got the cash?" Hasanote said, her knife fingers clicking menacingly.
"Calm down there, Edward Scissorhands." Shihiro grumbled. "You're making us sound like bandits."
"Aren't we basically bandits, though?" Tsukanai said cheerfully. "Let's go get this Self Defense Company started up!"
"...I, uh, submitted the name Stationary Distribution Company." Yuki said timidly. "And they gave me a credit card and an account too, so… yay?"
"Indeed." Shihiro said calmly. "Let's go get our video equipment and set up basic operations."
…
Shihiro knocked on the door, his stony fist making strange, hammer-like sounds.
The door slowly creaked open.
"Mommy!" a little girl shouted. "There's a strange man that looks like a bunch of lava at the door!"
"Close the door! I'll call the police!" the woman panicked.
"No luck?" Tsukanai panted, after the four ran into a nearby dark alleyway.
"What do you think?" Shihiro said peevishly.
…
"Get a job, you lazy scammers!" A salaryman in the middle of a phone call shouted as he opened the door, holding one hand over the phone's speakers to cut off his own voice from the call.
"That's just a pyramid scheme or something to make you fast money, isn't it?"
"But this is just-" Yuki began.
The man slammed the door. As the business phoe call continued inside the house, and Yuki slowly walked away from the door, dejected.
…
"...And for just 1000 yen a month, you can support one person to-"
"I'm not interested." the inhabitant said, looking at the sheathed knife hands that held the poster.
"At least take the flier." Hasanote said, a pleading look in her eyes. "This is just-"
A door was abruptly slammed shut in her face.
"If you really want money, just rob people, you damn villain wannabe! Stop interrupting our lives!"
The flier slowly crumpled up in her hand.
"...Maybe we're going about this wrong." Shihiro said, his skin sizzling in the light drizzle over their part of town. "This probably wasn't a great idea. Perhaps we shouldn't be making money off of this."
"Then what?" Hasanote said. "Stop holding out your stupid ideology thing, then! What feeds us, then? Robbing people? What's justice in the face of starvation?"
"...I…"
"What?" Hasanote said, looking at dribbles of magma slowly and steadily plop down on the pavement.
"I don't know, okay?" Shihiro sobbed. "Everything's just so… confusing. I can't get a job out of college. I can't get a job, even as a clerk. I can't borrow money, everybody thinks we're villains, and now what we've been doing is just horribly impractical. Everything's going downhill…"
The group sat underneath the apartment complex's roof, looking up at the rain, their blue and yellow fliers slowly losing color in the rain.
"Something will change, right?" Yuki said. "Something surely will."
…
"...So, our target population is now… construction workers?" Tsukanai said. "They don't seem like they can actually afford anything."
"And we're not selling anything." Hasanote reasoned. "Would you pay for somebody to protect you?"
"Hell no!" Tsukanai said. "If they're going to make me pay, I might as well do it myself."
"But what if you get arrested? What if you keep getting arrested by the authorities for just defending yourself?"
"These guys are constantly taxed by villain groups that basically force them around as contract labor, you know?"
"Why don't they just… you know…" Tsukanai said, gesturing vaguely with his machete.
"I've heard rumors of the police being bribed by them to arrest people every time somebody not in the yakuza uses their quirk. And every time a small-time hero comes around for a bit, it's extremely quiet and nobody believes the workers, so they leave because of the supposed lack of villain activity."
"How do you know all of this?" Shihiro said, somewhat recovered from his earlier breakdown. "And why didn't you tell us this earlier?"
"Hey. I was pretty good in school. I can do basic analysis. Besides, some of my old pals live around here."
"...That still doesn't answer why you didn't tell us before."
"Because we're going to be fucking useless here!" Hasanote said. "We're just people! People ostracized by society. What are we supposed to do, fight the mafia?"
"...Yes?" Tsukanai said, hefting his machete.
Hasanote opened her mouth, then closed it.
"Yeah." she said slowly. "With our contract, we can actually fight villains in self defense legally. We can do this without getting arrested!"
From the crumpled flier in her hand, the blue-haired chibi she drew as a mascot looked up at her judgmentally.
…
"This… can let us fight back?" the grimy, skinny construction head wearing a yellow hard hat said within the dimly lit apartment complex.
"I… think? At least we can actually take this to court." Shihiro said, looking at the contract again. The paper smoldered a bit, but at least it was illuminating the hazy darkness of the rooms.
"We can't sign any other jobs, though."
"This isn't a full time job. We thought of that. You can take both a part time and a full time job, anyways." Hasanote said, grinning. "So, what'll it be? Do you want to sign so that you can fight back?"
"But… they're the yakuza. They've been fighting and collecting from us for years! They take the strongest amongst us and induct them into the organization."
"We have one advantage."
"What?"
"We have nothing to lose."
There was dead silence now. The workers bustling about and whispering about petulant outsiders began to listen in.
"What can they possibly take from us? This house? Our shitty lives? What are we doing? You all are working day in and day out for literal scammers who sort of own you through harsh working conditions. And they hardly pay you at all."
"I'd honestly rather be homeless." some person said lightly. "But I'm stuck in this god damn contract!"
"Trust me." Hasanote said, sighing. "You do not."
"My family still lives in this neighborhood… I don't want my kid to live like this forever…"
"As Karl Marx said, we have nothing to lose but our chains!" Hasanote proclaimed proudly.
"Does every art student also remember history like she does?" Yuki muttered.
"No, she was just a nerd. You can barely see that part of her personality now, can you?" Shihiro whispered back.
"...Who is that?" somebody asked.
"Hmm… well, there's also a chinese saying that basically says broke people need not fear the rich! What are they going to take from us, huh?"
"Our lives… or almost unpaid labor?"
"Fuck it!" the worker said. "Everybody, let's sign that contract and go on strike!"
…
…
"Why do we have a flier for stationary slipped under the door crack?" Hans shouted at his parents, who were both still asleep from a long day of slaving away somewhere in an office building far away from their actual home.
The S.D.C printed on it actually seemed very well designed, along with the imagery of a mascot that had blue hair and wore glasses… that looked suspiciously like him… holding a pen and smiling cheerfully.
Hans shrugged and munched on some cereal. It wouldn't be the first time somebody didn't credit him in their work.
Out of curiosity, flipping the "Stationary Distribution Company"'s flier over revealed something… much weirder.
"What the hell is a Self Defense Corporation?" Hans muttered, reading out the contents of the flier. "For a small membership fee, you will be entitled to an employee fieldtrip straight to your location, where the company's hired bodyguards will be responsible for your safety at all times? Isn't this just a protection bracket?"
Hans slumped back into his seat and began to munch on his cereal once again. Why was there a gang in town, too?
To be perfectly honest, there was a bit of a conundrum. His grandfather's self-perpetuating cancer… had worsened.
It was partially due to his grandfather's quirk, which had lasted him throughout the troubled century's latter half, that was the cause of his misfortune now.
The quirk that resisted sickness and some effects of age by letting his grandfather "stay in character", therefore both letting "character traits" such as being free of sickness and not panicking during villain attacks stick, was also very vulnerable to slow, chronic diseases. A cancer that had probably begun in his thirties was now constantly threatening to kill him.
What was worse was that his quirk incorporated having cancer into his character traits, and thus resisted all medication.
It was also the quirk that may have given his whole family book-related quirks.
The overtime that his parents were doing aimed to cover the cost of treating those suddenly worsening conditions, now that the cancer had finally been able to progress into its later stages.
Hans bit into his cereal in a melancholic fashion. If only there was a way to make money faster… If only the people who made that mascot gave him just a little bit of royalties, perhaps he could actually do something instead of exhaust funds by going to a somewhat expensive hero school.
"Come to think of it, why can't we just use our quirks to improve productivity?" Hans said, raising an eyebrow. "I mean, it would… increase the flow of goods… and decrease prices… Why am I thinking about this? I'm not an economist."
As he idly drew the curves for supply and demand on his desk, he suddenly sat up.
"Oh, god damn it!" he shouted. "I have a math test today!"
…
Walking out of the classroom, Hans put his hands in the pockets of his school trousers and sighed, fidgeting with the lining on his pockets.
He had failed. He had failed everything there was to fail. He was done. Everything was over now.
…The math test had been completely devastating. Every single equation was a mystery. Every bit of numbers was lost amidst the sea of things he had written just two nights before.
But the worst part was? His scholarship and discount to UA depended on him keeping good grades. Other subjects weren't that difficult, but math…
Math was an exception.
Something about the numbers did not sit right with Hans, an author, which sort of made sense, considering the difference in nature between the two.
Slowly, the rest of the class staggered out of the classroom, having conferred about what they got on the test. One by one, they clumped up in their respective social groups and began to head towards the cafeteria.
The band of idiots he had hung out with yesterday gathered as well. Kirishima and Ojiro almost looked dazed. Yaoyorozu, however, was perfectly unfazed by the sudden influx of math.
"Damn, I've forgotten everything…" Kirishima muttered. "I really have to study up…"
"Yeah, I feel you, Ejirou." Ojiro said. "I almost forgot about those rate equations."
"Hey, Momo! How did you do?" Kirishima said, catching sight of Yaoyorozu walking towards the group.
"Compared to all of the drone studies that I had to perform in… that… This math was trivial." Yaoyorozu said, preening just a tiny bit.
"Yeah, you're the smart one in the group." Ojiro said, crossing his arms and nodding. "I'm the agile one, and Kirishima is the tank. But what is Hans?"
"I'm the poor one." Hans said, sighing. "And now, UA will probably be taking away my scholarship if I don't shape up in time for the exams. By the way, you're getting pretty chummy with each other, huh? First names already?"
"Aren't the exams… right after the sports festival?" Yaoyorozu said, ignoring the point about first names. "I mean, it's November, wait, no. It's October, I mean. That thing you wrote is messing with my head."
"Well, don't blame me." Hans said, crossing his arms. "You all were the ones who asked for it."
"I can still feel phantom pains all over my shins." Kirishima groaned. "You thought I'd be able to take all those hits with my quirk, but-"
Hans promptly kicked Kirishima in the unhardened shins.
"Footwork!" he roared, drawing some stares from his class.
"I didn't mean it this time!" Kirishima squealed, settling into a martial arts stance. "I was about to say how I shouldn't be taking all of those hits!"
From across the room, Todoroki slowly unboxed his cold soba, took out a pair of chopsticks, and slowly, very slowly, brought a couple of noodles up to his mouth. All the while, his gaze never strayed from the group.
Midoriya almost seemed like he wanted to talk to Hans about something, but his crippling social anxiety was getting in the way. One quick glare from Hans and he averted his eyes.
Looking at Midoriya's group, however, Hans… suddenly had a question.
"Hey, Uraraka, if we drop out of UA now to get a quirk work license, do you think it'll work?"
"Oh, uh… Well…" Uraraka said, a bit of surprise in her voice, before muttering. "I almost thought he was going to say more things about why hero society was bad. That scared me a bit."
"Yeah…" Midoriya squeaked. "Even though I do want to correct his views… I just can't talk to him! He's too intimidating!"
"What did you say?" Hans said, taking half a step towards Uraraka.
"I… haven't thought of it." Uraraka said hastily, slightly flustered now that she realized they were talking about her socioeconomic standing again.
"I mean, would a year of hero school be enough to fulfill the quirk training aspect? Doing it normally is very expensive, but maybe a year of hero school could work? If I drop out now, and go work at a hospital while attending an actually normal high school, I could probably be making more money and have better mental health."
"I-that's-hmmm…" Uraraka actually considered the proposition seriously. "Hey, you're right! I mean, all we really have to do is get our provisional license, and then we can apply for quirk work licenses!"
"Uraraka!" Midoriya said, looking at her in shock. "W-would you really do that?"
"Is that what you're planning, now?" Hans said, grinning. "I'm glad to see at least there are some intelligent people in the class! One semester in UA is probably cheaper than going through all those courses, huh?"
"No! Wait! B-but being a hero is obviously more important! Yeah! Being a hero! Is not money oriented! ...I'll just be going now." Uraraka said, deflecting the question. "See you around!"
Quickly, Uraraka ushered Midoriya and Iida out of the room, much to their concern and confusion.
"Uraraka! I had no idea about your aspirations!" Iida shouted. "You-"
As the sounds of conversation faded away down the hall, Hans sighed.
"Yet another person lost to cultural brainwashing."
There was a brief moment of grief for the poor girl, pressured into being a hero by societal expectations based on her powerful quirk.
"Do you think that I'm still a social pariah, though? She actually was willing to hold a conversation with me." Hans said. "Honestly, it may be better for me if I just dropped out of hero school after this year. It's way too expensive, a hero's career is filled with death and destruction, and I'm not competent at all…"
"Chin up, my guy." Kirishima said. "We'll all do fine in the sports festival, if that's what you're worrying about."
"I'll just be eliminating myself in the first round." Hans declared. "The math midterm is probably more important to me than the festival, and even then, that doesn't really matter. Freshman grades don't matter to colleges, anyways."
As Hans left for the cafeteria himself, the three behind him all nodded at each other.
Yeah, drastic action would be needed.
…
"One!"
Yaoyorozu, Kirishima, and Ojiro each did a push-up.
"Two!"
That happened again.
"...And that makes… Four hundred and eight? No, that can't be right."
The three looked up.
It was quirk training time again, but the trio had basically already done all the quirk training they needed. Now, they need to exercise to match their quirks.
Hans… was doing math on Kirishima's back, seeing absolutely no reason to improve his combat ability whatsoever.
Of course, this nonchalance towards hero training was enough to send Bakugo into a blind rage.
"Oi, what the fuck are you doing?" Bakugo shouted. "This is the hero course, not a study hall!"
"I can't exactly see the difference." Hans said flatly. "What if math is essential to me working my quirk right?"
"You're not Ponytail. Your quirk doesn't need that shit. All you have to do is just tell your little friends to do something."
"I'm sure the vice representative is making his best effort!" Iida interjected, trying to defuse the argument.
"He's literally doing fucking math! First, he whines all about how heroes shouldnt be famous and all that… And now he's not even putting in any effort! Is this what being in the hero course means now? Some place where kids can just be angsty about not succeeding? You're just fucking useless, Andersen!"
Hans thought about all the times he put a little effort in to save humanity. The lostbelts, the singularities, getting annihilated by Goetia in two separate spacetime locations…
And sighed.
"He's right!" Hans said self-deprecatingly. "I am pretty useless. And my features are that of a child. It's not insulting in any way, honestly…"
"And he even admits it!"
"Hey, Hans isn't useless! He saved all of us at the USJ!"
"What did he do? Stall the villains for twenty minutes or something? Bullshit!"
"Well, what if he did?" Kirishima said. "Just because you weren't there doesn't mean it didnt' happen."
"Yeah!" Ojiro shouted, getting to his feet and speaking up as well. "He-
"At least I'm better than some fraud at a hero course." Bakugo sneered, interrupting Ojiro's statement. "How did he even make it into the recommended exams, anyways?"
"I never tried to hide my intentions." Hans said, slightly amused at the attempts to rile him up. "Didn't you hear me say that I didn't want to work in this dead end job before, or have those explosions broken some eardrums? Why would I torture myself here if I wasn't basically forced into this course?"
However, the word fraud somehow resonated with Kirishima, and before Bakugo could respond, Kirishima walked up to him as everybody watched them suspensefully. The school drama tension was strong between the two, and Aizawa was fast asleep, meaning that the next moves were good to go.
He raised a finger, pointed it at Bakugo's face, and said a phrase time honored by older siblings defending their younger siblings from an outside threat when they themselves weren't bullying the younger ones.
"You. Take. That. Back."
"Okay." Bakugo said, his palms crackled. "What are you going to do to me, huh? Harden your arms in a threatening manner? You can't even scratch-"
With a single stomp, martial arts wind up, and punch… Aizawa was awake again, and his capture scarf was around Kirishima's arm.
"But sensei!" Kirishima protested. "He insulted-"
"This is still class." Aizawa said dully, standing up from his sleeping bag. "Whatever you want to settle, do it later."
"We'll settle this during the sports festival, midget!" Bakugo jeered.
"Whatever." Hans said, turning back to his math. "Hey, Kirishima! You're not done with your set yet."
"...Fine." Kirishima muttered, sending one last competitive glare at Bakugo before returning to his exercises.
"Hopefully that interaction wasn't foreshadowing anything…" Hans muttered. "I'd really hate to be embroiled into some sort of weird ideological rivalry. And I didn't even get into the mindset to roast him yet…"
"There'll always be next time." Yaoyorozu said cryptically. "There'll always be next time."
"Are you three planning something?"
"Nope."
"Nah."
"Definitely not."
...
And the inevitable build up to the sports festival continues… Next chapter, we have something akin to a court case! These past 2 chapters are also within 2 weeks of the USJ, by the way. How time crawls, huh?
Discord link: discord . gg / 9t9MK3jHmV
-SpiritOfErebus