Here we go again.
…
As Midoriya sailed off the arena, so did Ojiro's emotions soar through the top of his mental ceiling, floating into the blue sky and never to return.
Hans had done it… right?
But as the crowd cheered the exciting and flashy battle, Ojiro realized that nothing had changed.
Midoriya was clearly still not in control of his powers. Hans could beat him this time. Ojiro probably could too, but what if he got better? What about next time? Was there really no stopping him?
What if… Midoriya was meant to lose because of the narrative?
As Ojiro pondered the fact, he looked sideways to see Yaoyorozu and Kirishima celebrating, then turned further to look up at the highest left corner where Todoroki was sitting in the box, a pensive look in his eyes as he clenched his fist.
That look… was the look of somebody who misplaced their challenge.
As Bakugo seethed loudly at not getting his fight with 'That fucking Deku!', looking at Midoriya struggling on the ground with a broken leg, Ojiro looked pensively at the next matchups.
Yaoyorozu was facing Tokoyami. Kirishima was going to battle it out with Sato, and Ojiro… was fighting Shoji.
Ojiro looked back at Shoji, who looked back at him with one of his many eyes. Ojiro noticed that Shoji's mask was a bit distorted, but his eyes looked light and relaxed.
Shaking the thoughts of an unstoppable narrative out of his mind, Ojiro looked back and smiled as well.
Now that matchup… would be fun.
If only they weren't the last match of the first round.
…
"Match four… start!" Present Mic shouted.
As Tokoyami bent backwards and thrust out his abdomen, unleashing the demon that was Dark Shadow, Yaoyorozu swiftly whipped out a pair of sunglasses and threw three flashbangs. The bright flashes of light made the audience close their eyes or try to blink rapidly to try and clear their vision.
However, there wasn't really a match to watch. Amidst Tokoyami's blind confusion and Dark Shadow's wailing, Yaoyorozu made a long and sturdy whip, whipped it around Tokoyami's leg, and yanked him off balance. As Tokoyami fell to the ground, and with Dark Shadow slowly regaining strength, Yaoyorozu quickly created a steel bar from her leg to end the fight. The stick, continuously rising out of her calf, was able to quickly push Tokoyami out of the ring.
"...Seriously, what are these kids doing?" Present Mic muttered. "I don't remember any takedowns that fast in my years. Yaoyorozu is the winner!"
…
"I know it's not very manly that you won't be able to use your quirk, Sato, so I won't use mine either."
"Really, Kirishima-san?" Sato said, a bit of what looked like tears in his eyes.
"Yup." Kirishima said, settling into a stance comfortably. "Come at me."
As Midnight swooned, Sato ran at Kirishima, fists raised high and ready to punch Kirishima's unhardened lights out.
After ducking Sato's punch, Kirishima swiftly used a low kick to knock him off balance, before stepping out of the way of Sato's falling body. To his credit, Sato was able to regain balance quickly with flexibility uncharacteristic of somebody his size.
Of course, as Sato brought his arms up to guard again, Kirishima stomped on the concrete floor and prepared to punch Sato right in the sternum. As Sato brought his arms down to attack, one swift flick from Kirishima's left arm was able to redirect the block, and Kirishima's right fist soared forwards straight into Sato's sternum in one quick jab.
Sato almost folded in half around the punch, his breath forcefully erupting from his lungs. Kirishima brought his fist back into a guard to see if Sato's pain was just a facade.
One second passed. Kirishima's gaze hardened, and he adjusted his footwork slowly, aiming to go for a kick at Sato's shins.
Two seconds passed. Kirishima looked at Sato's eyes slowly unfocusing.
At the three second mark, Sato slowly fell sideways. As Midnight looked at Sato's anguished expression, Kirishima felt the urge to speak.
"It was… a good fight." He muttered. "But consider learning some technique. You can't brute-force everything."
…
"You ready for our match, Shoji?" Ojiro said, almost about to head down the stairs. The match between Sero and Todoroki was only just beginning, but contestants had to go and prepare a round before the last match started, just so that UA could keep the pacing of the event tight.
One of Shoji's arms morphed into a mouth, but just as the impractical organ prepared itself to speak… a shadow was cast over the arena.
The two turned to see a gigantic iceberg rise out from the arena, with Sero entombed right in the middle.
Ojiro's heart went cold. And it had nothing to do with the iceberg.
Because how the hell was Hans going to win against that?
Leaning up against the railing, with his chin resting on the metal bar, Hans looked at the display… and sighed.
"Despite all of this ice, Sero is just in… a tiny bit of it. Honestly, what a waste of power."
"Doesn't that… scare you a bit, Hans?" Kirishima asked.
"Yes. Yes it does." Hans said. "Think about all the property damage that this quirk could cause if its user was just a bit unhappy that day."
Hans ran his hands over his arms, where he could feel the various curses of his summons affect him. Idly scratching a patch of scales while avoiding some burns out of habit, he wondered.
Would matches melt a glacier?
…
After about fifteen to twenty minutes, during which popsicle sales were made completely obsolete, Ojiro and Shoji finally walked onto the stage.
"I didn't actually expect to do something like this so soon." Ojiro said, getting into a combat stance. Every muscle in his tail flexed as it whipped from side to side, eventually settling into a state where his center of mass was firmly between his feet.
Shoji, on the other hand, clenched and released his six hands, his giant, fanlike arms writhing ominously.
"It's the match of many limbs!" Present Mic declared cornily. "In this match, we'll see battles between a tail and many, many arms. It's Ojiro versus Shoji!"
"Could they really not have come up with anything other than whatever that announcement was?" Ojiro muttered.
"...Let's just fight." Shoji said stoically.
As Midnight started the last match of the first round, Ojiro did not choose to immediately attack. Shoji's quirk was formidable for a close range fighter such as Ojiro, with his many hands able to grapple and restrain his limited number of limbs.
Shoji slowly approached Ojiro, his left fan of arms held in a defensive shield while his right flexed menacingly, rippling with unknown strength… considering the fact that there were an unknown amount of limbs in that blob.
Thus, the only way to beat Shoji was to wait… and see whether or not he'll drop his guard just a bit.
Shoji, realizing that Ojiro had superior balance, began to circle Ojiro warily. Ojiro responded in kind, and they spiraled in the middle of the arena for a solid ten seconds.
Then? Shoji leapt forwards, his many limbs spread forwards, with two protecting his face. Clearly, he realized that the only way to win a balance contest with Ojiro was to eliminate balance from the fight.
It was going to be a grappling match.
Ojiro remembered the move that he had used to defeat him during the battle training and was just about to do another tail spin that simultaneously attacked all of Shoji's frontal limbs. But then, he saw two of Shoji's arms trailing low, almost as if bracing on the ground just to prevent his tail spin.
He had to retreat.
Slamming his tail on the ground, Ojiro was able to leap high into the sky, before landing with a tumble and a roll to lessen the impact. Quickly, he regained his stance and faced Shoji once more.
This… would be harder than he had expected. It was easy to unbalance Shoji back in the cavalry battle, given the fact that he was carrying somebody and that Shoji was running at him on unstable terrain, but that was then.
Now? Shoji's quirk had a definite advantage over his. Shoji could keep regenerating his limbs. Ojiro couldn't. Shoji had more limbs. Ojiro had a tail, which couldn't even be exactly used in conjunction with his arms.
The only thing that was separating the two was Ojiro's skill. Yet, how could Ojiro turn this into a contest of skill if Shoji kept trying to grapple him with his superior strength?
He did have one definite advantage, though. Speed.
As Shoji trudged towards him methodically, Ojiro sprinted towards Shoji's flank.
"And in a stunning reversal of pace, Ojiro has gone from the defensive to the offensive!" Present Mic shouted. "How will this turn of events affect the match?"
Ignoring the commentary, Ojiro began his elaborate feint. Angling his tail to the left and miming a spin, Shoji tilted his torso to face the right, both fans of his arms in a protective position, with arms bubbling inside the tissue to potentially surge outwards and grab Ojiro's tail.
But instead, Ojiro used his tail to jump to the left using his tail's immense strength. The reversal of direction sort of disrupted Ojiro's momentum, but at that moment, Shoji was off balance, leaning to the right, and was preparing for an impact that came from the right.
It was an opportune moment. As Ojiro swung his tail, however, two arms sprouted from Shoji's shoulders and raced to intercept the tail's attack.
The tail was grabbed, but that was okay. Ojiro still had his legs. Using Shoji's grip on him, Ojiro spun in midair with his tail as his center of mass and roundhouse kicked Shoji's face. One arm shot out from Shoji's collection, but the still-growing appendage only deflected the blow a tiny bit.
Ojiro's foot impacted the top of Shoji's head.
As Shoji toppled forward, however, he did not let go of Ojiro's tail. Thus, Ojiro was also swung forwards, onto Shoji's back.
It was not a great situation, considering the fact that Shoji could turn the situation into one that involved grappling at almost any moment.
However, Ojiro still had two of his limbs left. His arms.
An elbow descended onto Shoji's temple, ending the match with a satisfying thwack.
…
"We've made it." Hans said, looking at the match highlights playing back on the jumbo screen. His own knockout of Midoriya. Todoroki's gigantic glacier. Bakugo's casual destruction of a 1-B student with a glue quirk. Yaoyorozu's swift knockout of Tokoyami. And, oddly enough, Aoyama walking out of the arena after a brief conversation with a general education student.
"Indeed." Yaoyorozu said. "And you'll be facing Mineta Minoru next, Hans. Though a student from general education, I think that his biggest threats are his restraining quirk and his impressive physique."
"Yep." Hans said, shrugging. "Hopefully, this time, some of my psychological tactics will work instead of giving my opponents a buff."
"What did you say to Midoriya?" Ojiro asked.
"Oh, nothing." Hans said casually. "I just insulted the reason why he wanted to be a hero, and then tried to give him some self doubt. He stopped listening halfway through, though. It's pretty wise not to listen to a monologue trying to piss you off, but as a monologuer, it hurts… just a bit."
"Wasn't this… Mineta Minoru… thirty sixth place in the entrance exam?" Kirishima said, thinking back to the time he had browsed the UA website for information on who his future hero course classmates were. "He was going to make it in, but there was a fifth recommended student that year."
"So… I replaced him?" Hans said, a smile slowly widening on his face.
"All recommended students are assessed fairly." Yaoyoruz said, crossing her arms and glaring at Hans. "Though you performed poorly on the test, the other utilities that your quirk offers are more than enough to offset your poor mobility."
"But that wind guy didn't come to UA." Hans said. "Where did he go? And if my utility was that useful, why couldn't I just have taken his spot? He was first in most of the exams, after all."
Yaoyorozu paused at this.
"Come to think of it, that is strange."
"So, there's obviously something I can say to this kid now." Hans said, his arms assuming a thinker's position as he held his chin with one hand, contemplating his second round of psychological tactics.
"...Do you really have to do this?" Yaoyorozu said. "It seems unnecessarily harsh."
"Why shouldn't I do this?" Hans said. "Roasting people isn't a quirk. Any villain could start insulting them into the dirt, and if they crack just because of some words, then what kind of hero are they?"
…
"For the first match of our second round, it's a battle between two midgets, though they seem to have the opposite type of physique!"
The crowd laughed as Hans and Mineta looked at each other from across the field. For a moment, Hans thought about just fighting normally. Without trickery. Without being a hypocritical wannabe antagonist and insulting his enemy to rile them up.
"You…" Mineta muttered. "You've said some unheroic things on the internet, right?"
"Nevermind, then." Hans thought. "They're the one that wanted a war."
"Well, I didn't say it on the internet." Hans said. "Somebody posted what I said on the internet."
"Well, I'm going to beat you to prove that I deserve a spot in the hero course, not people like you!" Mineta shouted. "Not fucking elitists like Yaoyorozu!"
"You think Yaoyorozu took your spot, thirty sixth?" Hans said, grinning. "But it was me, Hans Christian Andersen!" He pointed at himself with his thumb, a large shit-eating grin on his face.
"I was the afterthought, accepted only because of my quirk's healing abilities. Why else were there five recommended students?"
"Y…you?" Mineta stuttered, taking a dramatic step back, his shaded face breaking character. Instead of the carefully manufactured cool and collected look that Mineta had been donning all this time, it was replaced with the impulsive fury of barely pubescent teenagers.
"Yes. Me." Hans said, still grinning. Midnight looked between the two, very concerned.
"Midnight, are you comparing the heights of our contestants or something?" Present Mic said through the announcer's system.
"S-start!" she said, reminded of her duties. She looked at a furious student and a very, very smug one, before sighing.
Hopefully, this wouldn't end in a catastrophe.
"Raagh!" Mineta yelled, ripping balls off his head and pitching them at Hans. With a sweep of his arm and one snap of his fingers, Hans summoned the tin soldier in front of him. The shield-like summon stood its ground, the balls sticking to the metal and quivering after impact.
"Now, now. Calm down." Hans said. "Did you really think that everybody can be a hero?"
"No." Mineta said coldly. "Not people like you." He pointed at Hans in an overdramatic fashion. "I got in fair and square. I got thirty sixth place in the entrance exam. But you, you… stole my spot."
"And here you are, thinking that being a hero is a privilege." Hans said, his arm outstretched and his face smirking. "We work seven days a week for more than eight hours a day. We put our lives on the line, and most heroes don't make it past fifty five. Is becoming a hero something your impulsive teenage brain can really make a decision on?"
"What about you, then?" Mineta shouted, aiming for the tin soldier's feet with his balls. Slowly, his strength was increasing. The vibrations reverberating throughout the tin soldier were slowly growing stronger in strength. "Why the fuck are you even here?"
Hans knew what this meant. Mineta was only just warming up. However, he had to continue and speak. He had to tire out his opponent to win in one strike.
"Didn't you see on the website?" Hans said, slowly sending the Elder Tree Mother into the ground as Mineta continued to gunk up the tin soldier with more of his sticky balls. "I used my quirk to heal an injured hero. And I was arrested for illegal quirk usage. For my healing quirk, they've specifically stuffed me into this school and threatened me with time in a detention center if I quit."
"Being a hero is an honor!" Mineta shouted, throwing his fist in the air. "You can meet cute girls that way! You can become popular that way! You can become famous that way! You're complaining because you were handed a seat in the best hero school in the country and working towards the dreams of millions of others?"
"Yes." Hans said, "Because this whole profession is a fame-obsessed sham populated by narcissists, culturally brainwashed children, outcasts desperately trying to prove their own self worth… and you. A combination of all three, right?"
Mineta fell silent, shadows obscuring his overly-muscled face.
"You don't know anything." Mineta said quietly.
"You're short, and you probably used to be unathletic." Hans said, narrowing his eyes and looking at Mineta. "You were probably unpopular back in middle school. You think that heroes are cool, and that doing so would increase your popularity, right?"
"Well, am I wrong?" Mineta said, gritting his teeth.
"No, you're not." Hans said, himself pointing overdramatically at Mineta. There was some sort of flu going around spreading unnecessarily dramatic poses, probably.
"But I'm not wrong either, right? You're obsessed with popularity. This whole society is obsessed with being popular and accepted socially. Before you got rejected from hero school, you were probably just an unathletic idiot coasting along with your slightly more convenient quirk."
"Now I have these!" Mineta said, snapping his head back to glare at Hans and raising his arms and flexing his impressive musculature like a bird trying to flaunt its feathers. "I've worked hard for these muscles!"
"And because of that, you feel entitled to be a hero?" Hans said.
"I should have made it in." Mineta shouted, resuming his attacks. "I should have your spot. I should be in 1-A!"
"Well, you self-obsessed steroid goblin, it's a bit too late to start complaining now, isn't it?"
Suddenly, Hans felt the tin soldier stop moving to block an attack. One purple ball narrowly sailed past his cheek and hit the grass outside of the arena.
"And what will you do now?" Mineta laughed, slightly deranged. A bit of blood was rolling down his scalp and over his face. "You don't have your shield anymore, do you?"
Hans snapped his fingers again. The tin soldier disappeared. The purple balls that once were stuck to the tin soldier's one leg fell to the ground.
Then, the summon reappeared, totally unblemished. Being in the caster class was convenient like that.
"D…damn you!" Mineta shouted, his eyes wide and bloodshot. He sprinted towards Hans, purple balls tearing off his hair and-
The Elder Tree Mother snaked a branch around his ankles and lifted him into the air. Then, swinging him around once, twice, and thrice… threw Mineta out of the arena.
Hans sighed, looking away, slightly tired, and walking away. It was over.
Was all this roasting and all of this hypocrisy on his part worth it?
He looked up at the 1-A boxes, to the impassive face of Todoroki and the arrogant one of Bakugo.
To roast them? It definitely was.
…
This chapter was less intense, and for an obvious reason. I had to finish off round one's fights, so I just rounded it up with a bit of a roast session towards Mineta.
Hopefully it was still entertaining, but I do know that this is slightly less intense. There will be more fun next time.
Todoroki is next.
Discord link: discord . gg / 9t9MK3jHmV
-SpiritOfErebus