Chapter 4

Auditions and Duets

Glee club is back with a brand new season. Santana had a minor procedure done. Rachel wants to be in a relationship with Finn. Upon learning that Jesse and the rest of Vocal Adrenaline tormented New Directions, after what they did to Rachel, Shelby decided to stop coaching that bastard team and someone new would eventually take over. Jacob Ben Israel was interviewing students. He asked Tina and Mike about their new relationship. They were, in fact, together seeing as how they were holding hands. Artie glared at them. Kurt said, "You want to know what takes courage? Singing. Say whatever you have to say to my face!"

In Figgins' office, Will and Sue were talking about budget cuts. Sue pointed to another woman in the room, "Who is this?"

"Shannon Beiste," she stood up. "Spelled B-E-I-S-T-E. It's French. I'm the new football coach."

Will asked, "Wait, what happened to Ken Tanaka?"

Figgins told him, "Nervous breakdown."

Sue said to Beiste, "Let me explain something to you. Female football coaches are like male nurses - sin against nature."

Beiste fired back saying, "You're all coffee and no omelet." Sue looked confused. "Six teats and no oink. Rah!" Then she left.

Sue said, "That doesn't make any sense."

Will said, "What?"

Rachel opened her locker door. A familiar voice said to her, "Any room for a photo of me in there?"

"Shelby? Hey!"

"Hey." They hugged. Shelby grunted.

"Sorry. I'm still getting used to that."

"It's fine. So, how's high school treating you?"

Rachel closed her locker. "The usual. Slushies in our faces at every corner, but other than that, it's all right."

"Hasn't anyone put a stop to that?"

"Like Figgins or the school board can stop the football players and suspend them." She rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"I wish there was something I could do. You don't deserve that kind of abuse."

"I know, it's embarrassing. But you know how it is. You tell a person to stop, and they just do it again anyway. Santana does it all the time."

"Well, the jocks are gonna have a hard time Slushing you with the new girl in town."

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

"I'm a teacher here now. Well, part-time."

Rachel squealed and hugged her again. Then she said, "But wait. I thought you said that— Didn't you say you were tired of coaching glee club?"

"I am, but that doesn't mean I'm tired of teaching."

"So, how long are you gonna be teaching here for, anyway?"

"Uh, I haven't quite figured that part out yet, but I'm willing to try. Made me forget all about Vocal Adrenaline for three whole months."

In the choir room, Will said, "These are the comments from Jacob Ben Israel's latest blog."

Kurt said, "We get it, Mr. Shue, everyone still hates us. So, we're plankton on the high school food chain. But none of us really care."

Mercedes said, "Kurt's right. We're a family now. They can bring it on all they want. None of it is ever gonna break us."

Will said, contently, "I'm really happy that some of you have all bonded. The problem is it's keeping everyone else from auditioning."

Tina said, "Well, that's great. Why do we even need new members?"

"Well, since Matt transferred, we only have 11 members." (You know, Matt would've stuck around longer if they'd just given him more lines.) Fourth wall break. :) Will went on, "If we want to beat Vocal Adrenaline, we need a giant wall of sound. Nationals are in New York this year, and we have to go there!" Mercedes fanned Kurt with her hand.

Will found Shelby, "Hey, Shelby, you got a second?"

"What's up, Will?" Shelby asked. "You look really mad."

"The Glee Club really tried to show the school what we're about. And how do some of them repay them? By defacing the sign-up sheet. 'Penis, butt-munch, Ass-braham Lin-colon.' They're not even clever!"

"That last one was pretty harsh. Look, Sue wants to take down your club? We are gonna topple her. You in?"

Will crumple up the paper. "I am."

Finn put up a camouflage sheet with a skull and microphones to look like crossbones. He heard Sam Evans sing "Every Rose Has Its Thorn" in the shower. Finn's voiceover said, "I would've joined in with a kick-ass harmony, but the dude was naked." He just smirked and walked away.

Claire Thomas was about to start high school at McKinley with her closest friend, Henry Reynolds. Claire was an alright-looking girl with glasses, black hair and blue eyes. Henry, on the other hand, was a senior with dark brown hair and light blue eyes. He was also distinctively handsome, and English.

Claire asked, "Any idea on where we're supposed to go?"

Henry looked a a map of the campus. "Um, no idea. Hey, there are the sign-up sheets."

"Glee Club. No tryouts? I don't know."

"Looks like they're really desperate."

"Yeah, well, maybe someone else will come along."

"See you later." He walked off.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm gonna go check out the gym. Maybe they'll be looking for new football players."

When Rachel first saw Claire walk into the girls' room to wash her hands, she smiled. "Oh, hello." Claire looked in her direction. "It's you. You're Rachel Berry." Rachel replied, "And you're Claire Thomas." Rachel encouraged Claire to try out for glee. "So, you thinking about trying out for glee club?" Claire was reluctant to discuss this. "I don't know if I'm really that… I'm not much of a singer." Rachel smiled, "Well, I'm sure you sound all right. I even did a little research on you. Listen, Claire, we need chorus members. So I encourage you to audition for glee club."

"Thank you."

"Okay."

They started singing "Telephone" together. Sue walked in and the music abruptly stopped. "Keep it down!" she shouted. Well, that was just plain rude.

"Well, that was fun. When are auditions?"

"Um, I'm gonna have to get back to you on that. Don't tell anyone about this, okay?"

In the gym, Sue and Beiste were in the boys' locker room. Beiste pulled off Finn's sign-up sheet. Finn said, "We're trying to recruit new glee members."

A pizza delivery boy came by and said, "I got 25 everything pies for a Coach Sylvester."

Sue said, "I didn't order any pizzas."

Rachel and Shelby tried to keep themselves from laughing. The football players chuckled. Sam smiled. Rachel giggled and said, "This goes against my nature. Isn't this a little immature?"

Shelby said, "Yeah, it's downright childish. But sometimes it's nice to dish out a little payback. Give Sue Sylvester a run for her money and a taste of her own medicine." The two bump fists. Rachel said, "Yes."

The delivery man said, "My boss says if you don't pay for 'em, I have to."

Sue was growing furious. Beiste pulled out her debit card and gave it to him. He took it with a smile on his face. Beiste said to Finn, "Hand 'em out, Wayne Newton. Let's go, guys. It's a pizza party. Dig in." The guys ate. Rachel and Shelby looked at other in stunned surprise. Beiste continued, "Everybody has to eat at least four slices. And when you're done, full pads out on the field. We're doing wind sprints. The first 10 to puke are off the team." Rachel pulled Shelby out of the way. Beiste said, "Hey, girls. Um, there's pizza in there if you want some."

Rachel said, "Thank you."

Shelby said, "Yeah, thanks."

Beiste walked away with a smile on her face. Almost like she knew they were pranking Sue. That was called respect. Almost like she was saying, "Well played, ladies."

Puck said, "You know why they wouldn't let Helen Keller drive. Because she was both blind and deaf." Well, duh.

In the hallway, Artie was talking to Finn about joining the football team.

Artie asked, "Well, Kurt did it once. Why can't I?"

"Being gay isn't a handicap, Artie. Why do you even want to join?"

"Tina left me for Mike Chang. They fell in love over the summer at Asian camp."

Tina and Mike kissed in a flashback. A kid with a cell phone took their picture.

Finn said, "Look, buddy, I'm sympathetic, but I don't think the others will go for it."

"Imagine pushing me at full speed."

"Dude, you'd be like a human battering ram. That'd be awesome."

"So, you'll help me?"

"Sure, but you gotta help me first. Hey, Sam." They shook hands. "I'm Finn, and this is Artie." Artie waved.

Sam said, "Yeah, I know you. You're on the football team, right? You're the quarterback."

Finn said, "Exactly, which makes me very cool. We have a proposition for you."

In the choir room, Finn, Artie, Puck and Mike all looked at Sam. "I'm Sam Evans. I like comic books, sports…I'm kind of dyslexic, so my grades aren't that great. But I'm working on it."

Puck said, "Dude, your mouth is huge. How many tennis balls can you fit in there?"

Sam said, "Uh, I don't know. I never had any balls in my mouth. Have you?"

Finn said, "I like this kid."

Artie said, "I like his confidence. But the Bieber cut's gotta go."

Puck asked, "So, can you sing?"

Sam put on a guitar. "I've never really sung in public before."

Puck told him, "Dude, trust me. Chicks dig singers."

Finn asked, "What song do you have in your back pocket?"

Sam said, "Um, I don't know. Billionaire?"

Finn snapped fingers in agreement. They started to perform.

Artie was rapping, "You can call me Artie Claus, minus the ho-ho."

Claire found Henry at a garage. "Henry?" Henry slid out from under a car.

"Hi!"

"What are you doing?"

"I got a job. I work here now." He stood up. "What's up?"

"I think I'm gonna try out for glee club."

"That's good. Really good."

"I kinda want you to audition with me." "What, like a singing duo?" Claire nodded. "You don't really need me for that."

"Yes, I do. Hen, I don't think I've ever been this excited about trying something new before. Look, all I'm asking for is a chance. Rachel Berry told me to try out."

"Rachel Berry? Isn't she kind of controlling?"

"Please."

Henry sighed. He smiled.

Claire and Henry were on the stage in the auditorium. "Hi," she said. "I'm Claire, this is Henry." Rachel smiled at her. They started to sing "Start of Something New" from High School Musical. Mercedes and Artie smiled. Shelby walked in and folded her arms, leaning on a wall. Will was impressed with them and said, "Okay. Welcome to glee club." Rachel clapped for them. Everyone else applauded, too. Shelby smirked and nodded. She walked out.

In the teacher's lounge, Will walked to Beiste. "Can I join you?" Beiste just looked at him and used a toothpick. "Okay." He sat down. "Look, I started off this school year thinking we were the underdogs. And when no one else would sign up, I realized we were still outsiders. And that's not how I should make you feel. I'm sorry." They shake hands.

Beiste nodded, "Thank you."

In Shelby's new classroom, Rachel walked in.

Rachel said, "Were you just gonna leave without saying goodbye?"

Shelby said, "Rachel, I have to go away for a while."

"Shelby, you just got back."

"It's only gonna be for a while." She kissed her cheek.

"What was that for?"

"For giving the new girls a chance." She walked off.

And then Rachel started singing, "What I Did For Love."