Well, you may of seen my Tiny Toon Adventures: Tooney FanFiction Series, and now it's time for Tiny Toons Looniversity: Tooney FanFiction Series. For the first chapter, the students of ACME Loo go crazy over a new female substitute teacher that comes to ACME Loo, while Babs and Sweetie try to help Furrball get the courage to ask out a certain female classmate. Here we go.
The Toons were in the cafeteria, having their lunch because it's lunchtime (of course). Buster and Plucky were sitting at their table, having one of their arguments.
"I could impress more women than you!" Gloated Plucky.
"Don't be ridiculous!" Scowled Buster. "Your pretentiousness is the biggest obstacle that's keeping you from women!"
"Oh, puh-lease!" Scoffed Plucky. "What woman have you known besides your mother and Babs?"
"FYI, me and Babs have eighty six other siblings!" Buster replied. "Besides, if you're so good with the ladies, why haven't you gotten Babs or Sweetie after ya?!"
"Sweetie is too aggressive and Babs is too related to you." Explained Plucky.
Meanwhile, Babs and Sweetie were sitting at a nearby table.
"Wow, lunch and entertainment." Chuckled Sweetie, placing worms in her sandwich.
"Hey, what kind of sandwich is that?" Asked Babs.
"It's a sandwich sandwich." Said Sweetie, lifting the two bits of bread to show another bit of bread in between the two bits.
"You are the queen of sandwiches!" Exclaimed Babs.
Furrball sat at their table, his light blue face was a bit red.
"Is something wrong, Furrball?" Babs asked. "You look like you just saw one of those cheesy rom-com movies."
"It's just that..." Furrball replied, bashfully. "There's this girl I really like-"
"Ooooooooohhhh!" Exclaimed Sweetie before Furrball clamped her beak shut with his index finger.
"Not so loud!" He hissed. "The others might hear!"
"First off, don't ever do that again!" Growled Sweetie before her expression changed. "And second, tell us who it is."
"Is it either of-" Babs went to ask.
"It's neither of you." Furrball interrupted. "And I'm not saying who it is because, well, why would I reveal my crush, let alone to two people I've barely interacted with."
"Come on, Furrball." Babs replied. "If you tell us, we could help you."
"I... don't know." Furrball replied, looking away in bashfulness.
"TELL US!" Sweetie boomed, in her gruff bellowing voice.
"Okay, okay!" Furrball exclaimed. "Come close so I can whisper it."
Babs and Sweetie leaned in closer to Furrball.
"The girl I have a crush on is-" He whispered.
Furrball was interrupted by the intercom.
"Attention all students!" Came the voice of Bugs Bunny. "There is going to be a substitute teacher today! She will be waiting for you in the main classroom."
"I'll tell you after class." Furrball informed, quickly dashing off to class, much to Sweetie's annoyance.
They walked into the main classroom, but the teacher wasn't in there. As they wondered where she was, they door began to open.
"Excuse my tardiness, class." Came a female voice from beyond the door.
The door opened up, and in walked the substitute teacher who was none other than Penelope Pussycat. A cat with mostly black fur, but bits of white fur on her belly and face. Some of the students (mostly the male ones) went absolutely crazy when they first saw Penelope, even some unnamed female students went crazy over here.
"I go by the name of Penelope Pussycat." Greeted the substitute teacher.
"Penelope..." Swooned Buster. "A cat after my own heart."
"She's almost as gorgeous as I am." Swooned Plucky.
The most notable student who didn't go crazy about Penelope was Furrball. Babs and Sweetie took notice of this fact.
"Allow me to educate you on France and it's cultures, as that's where I grew up." Said Penelope. "Let's start with the Eiffel Tower."
After the classes that day, the students couldn't get Penelope out of their minds.
"Her beauty shines brighter than a thousand carrots." Buster sighed, dreamily.
"She could be the queen of my world." Plucky sighed, dreamily.
The two of them stopped in their tracks and glared at each other.
"You back off, duck!" Buster snarled. "I'm the lady charmer around here!"
"Are you kidding me?!" Plucky yelled. "Do I even need to remind you of my good looks?!"
They both noticed that there were other students talking about Penelope.
"She very pretty!" Exclaimed Dizzy.
"She's so gorgeous, I could just... Ah-ah-ah." Said Sneezer before letting out a loud sneeze which sprayed the walls with his mucus.
"Guess the competition goes beyond just the two of us." Commented Plucky.
"This doesn't make us allies, by any means." Buster replied.
Meanwhile, Furrball walked to the dorm room of Babs and Sweetie.
"Hey, you made it." Babs commented.
"I did say that I'd tell you two after class." Furrball replied. "Besides, Sweetie might put me in the hospital if I don't."
"I'm not that kind of bird!" Sweetie snapped, making Furrball nervous.
Sweetie quickly noticed how nervous Furrball was, and quickly composed herself with a deep breath.
"I'm sorry." She sighed. "I grew up learning to be tough, but I do have a soft side. If you tell us who you have a crush on, me and Babs will try to help you get the courage to ask her out."
Furrball nodded.
"Okay, here goes." He said. "The girl I have a crush on is Shirley."
"Shirley?" Queried Babs. "I would've thought it would've been Fifi for some reason."
"Nah." Replied Furrball. "She's too... skunk-y for me. Besides, she once insulted my kind by saying she looked like a "common cat" when Buster got all bad and jerk-ish."
"That was an evil clone of him." Explained Babs.
"Well, I'm not really the psychic type, but we can still help you." Sweetie informed.
"I do have these flowers I found." Furrball informed, showing them to Babs and Sweetie.
"That's perfect!" Babs replied. "You could use those flowers to-"
She was cut off by the flowers shooting a powerful jet of water which knocked her into the wall.
"Where did you find those flowers?" Sweetie asked.
"Outside a joke store." Furrball replied.
Later that day, Penelope walked back into her classroom to find an apple and a bouquet on her desk.
"Where did these come from?" She asked, quizzically.
"You got them from a really awesome rabbit." Replied Buster, as he walked into the room.
"Well, these are very sweet." Penelope replied. "But-"
"Hold everything!" Plucky yelled. "I'm the better option than him!"
"You couldn't even get her presents!" Buster yelled.
"I can give her more than presents, rabbit!" Scowled Plucky.
"Take all arguments outside of classrooms, please." Penelope requested, prompting the rabbit and duck to stop in their tracks.
"As you wish." They both said in unison, bowing to Penelope.
The moment they walked out of the classroom, there were loud bangs and cartoony beat up sounds outside the room.
"Excuse me?" Came a voice from behind Penelope.
She turned and saw Sneezer standing on her desk.
"I just wanna say that you're very pretty." Sneezer informed.
"You're kind, but a bit too young for me." Penelope replied.
"What do you mean?" Asked Sneezer. "I'm older than you think I am."
"Then why are you wearing a diaper?" Queried Penelope.
Sneezer didn't say anything for the first few seconds, and then he dashed off, leaving Penelope to wonder what just happened.
Meanwhile, Babs and Sweetie were showing Furrball romance movies.
"Now, do you know how dating goes?" Babs asked.
"Well, I know that vampires and werewolf movies are super boring." Furrball replied. "When you showed me that movie, I fell asleep five seconds in."
"There were crazy fans of that film outside threatening to burn the video store down if we didn't get that movie." Sweetie explained. "Now get ready, Furrball, because we're getting into more important things about dating, starting with kissing."
Furrball froze in place, his face turned scarlet.
"Kissing?!" He exclaimed.
"Exactly." Babs replied. "Everyone knows that dates end in a kiss."
"Here, you can practice with me." Sweetie offered. "I'd use lipstick but I've run out after trying to don a clown attire, also it smears my feathers."
As Sweetie flew closer to Furrball, he quickly backed away.
"Hold on!" He yelled. "I haven't had my first kiss yet!"
"Well your first kiss could be a disaster if you don't know how to do it!" Replied Sweetie. "Since I'm a type of bird and Shirley is as well, it would make more sense to practice with me."
"Have you got any breath spray?" Babs asked.
Furrball shook his head as Sweetie flew closer to him, causing Furrball to put up his hand to block her.
"I don't wanna kiss you!" He said.
Sweetie stopped, and got a bit steamed up.
"Why?!" She demanded. "What's wrong with me?!"
"I never said there's anything wrong with you!" Furrball prevaricated. "I don't exactly feel comfortable practicing kissing with someone I'm not into!"
"I'm trying to help prepare you!" Sweetie yelled. "Just come and kiss me so you can be ready to kiss Shirley!"
"But you're a bit too small to practice with!" Furrball replied, before clamping his mouth shut.
"Oh boy..." Commented Babs. "Now you've done it."
Sweetie's eye began to twitch, her body started shaking, and a pulsating vein appeared on her head.
"Too small...?" She seethed. "TOO SMALL?!"
Sweetie went into an uncontrollable rage. She flipped over the beds, threw the TV out of window, punched various holes in the walls, threw makeup all over the room, and threw a table which landed on Furrball.
"Sweetie!" Babs yelled. "Stop!"
The pink bird stopped in her tracks. She looked around the room, observing all the damage she did. She lifted up the table to find Furrball, flat as a pancake.
"Erm... oops." She giggled, nervously.
Moments later, Furrball was wrapped in bandages like an Egyptian mummy.
"Perhaps I... got a little carried away." Sweetie chuckled.
"You think?!" Snapped Furrball. "When I said you were too small, it meant that you're a bird and I'm a cat! I might've ended up swallowing you accidentally!"
"I have another idea!" Sweetie informed. "Wait here."
Sweetie flew out of the room, and returned with a life sized costume of Shirley.
"We could use this as practice." She suggested.
"That's genius!" Babs replied. "Here, allow me. I can do a Shirley voice."
Babs took the costume, and wore it. Not only did she look like Shirley, she spoke on a voice that sounded exactly like Shirley's as well.
"Check it out." Said Babs, in her Shirley voice.
"How did you do that?" Asked Furrball and Sweetie simultaneously.
"Well, aside from some impressions I've been learning to do, I've hung around Shirley a bit to pick up her voice." Babs explained. "Now, for this exercise, we're going to have a practice date here so you can be more prepared for the real Shirley."
"Can we wait until my wounds heal?" Furrball asked.
"Furrball, you're a toon." Sweetie replied. "Why are you even wearing those bandages."
"Point taken." Furrball replied, removing the bandages.
Meanwhile, Buster and Plucky were in another classroom writing "We will not fight and damage property in the process because Warner Brothers would have to animate the damage we do from our fights, making their jobs a bit harder in the process" multiple times on the chalkboard.
"You're to blame for this!" Buster seethed.
"I am?!" Growled Plucky. "I was trying to woo our beautiful teacher but you ruined it with your sappy gifts!"
"At least I was trying to be romantic!" Buster scowled. "When she saw you, I'm surprised she hadn't ran off!"
"Right, that does it!" Plucky bellowed. "You're about to catch these wings, Buster Bunny!"
Plucky tackled Buster out of the room, and the two of them began fighting throughout the hallways. They trampled Calamity, flew over Fifi, knocked over Renaldo, and bumped into Marcia before they both started tumbling down a long flight of stairs. In the classroom, Penelope was talking to Hamton.
"I can't help but shake the feeling that the students have taken quite a... shine to me." She confided.
"What gave you th-th-th-that idea?" Hamton asked.
"The fact that they keep staring at me, and the blue rabbit left gifts on my desk." Penelope explained.
Little Beeper dashed into the room with a large heart-shaped box in his wing.
"Penelope, you're the most gorgeous thing on the entire planet." He said. "And I know, because I circled the Earth three times before coming here."
"Dizzy could take you for very romantic spins!" Dizzy exclaimed, spinning into the classroom.
"Isn't there any student of this class who isn't interested in me?!" Penelope exclaimed.
"Ugh, get over yourself!" Renaldo exclaimed, as he was holding an ice pack on his head.
That was when Buster and Plucky burst into the classroom in a cartoony fight cloud of smoke.
"She likes me more!" Buster yelled.
"Now way, blue ears!" Plucky yelled.
"Enough!" Penelope yelled.
The two of them stopped fighting thent and there.
"This fighting over me is completely ridiculous!" Penelope exclaimed. "Next I suppose an anvil that's shaped like the Eiffel Tower with my name engraved on it is going to drop from the sky and land so close to me without crushing me!"
Exactly what Penelope just said happened. A large anvil that has been carved to the shape of the Eiffel Tower with Penelope's name engraved on it landed close to her.
"I did say I could give her more than presents, rabbit." Plucky gloated.
"I... I..." Penelope stammered. "I gotta think through this."
She quickly walked out of the classroom, causing Plucky and Buster to shoot death flares at one another.
"This is your fault!" Buster snarled.
"Your gifts were cheesy!" Plucky seethed. "We have to settle this once and for all!"
"I know exactly how to accomplish that!" Buster replied.
Meanwhile, Babs was showing Furrball dating tips while still wearing the Shirley costume. After showing him tips on table manners, holding a conversation, and what to do if you lose your wallet, she spoke to him on her normal voice.
"Okay Furrball, we're going to do kissing practice." She said. "This time, we're going to do it correctly and without any violence."
"I... don't know about this, Babs." Furrball replied. "Not exactly what I had in mind for a first kiss. Someone who is dressed like a girl I have a crush on."
"Trust me, Furrball." Babs replied. "It'll be fine. Just kiss me and I can give you feedback so you can be ready to kiss Shirley."
"You sure she's not too Shirley-looking?" Sweetie growled.
"Sweetie, why don't you go to that punching bag you found in the dumpster?" Babs asked.
"I broke it last week, remember?" Sweetie replied. "Out of curiosity, Babs, if you can dress and sound like Shirley, can you also levitate things like she can?"
"Worth a try." Babs replied.
She tried to levitate a spoon, only for the spoon to go flying through one of the windows. The three of them heard a loud "bonk" from below.
"Doh!" Yosemite Sam's voice exclaimed. "Whose the varmint that threw this?!"
"Ignore that." Babs suggested. "Alright Furrball, come on and kiss me. Sweetie, would you mind passing me lipstick?"
"Shy are you even using lipstick?" Sweetie asked, as she flew it to Babs.
"Yeah." Furrball agreed, as Babs started applying to the bill on the Shirley costume (bill as in duck bill, not receipt.)
"Well, someone told me that my "original counterpart" did this during a dating instruction cartoon." Babs explained.
Babs held Furrball's face gently.
"How did I get myself into this?" Furrball thought to himself. "It-its just a kiss. She looks just like Shirley, anyways. I'll do it for Shirley."
Furrball bashfully puckered up, as Sweetie secretly giggled to herself and pulled out her phone. Just as Furrball's and Babs' lips were about to touch, they heard a voice.
"What's going on?" Asked the voice of the real Shirley.
The three of them turned to see the real Shirley, standing in the doorframe. She was looking quizzical. Babs quickly removed her Shirley costume.
"Sh-Shirley!" She exclaimed, nervously. "There's an explanation for this! Me and Sweetie were teaching Furrball to... uhhh..."
"Preform CPR!" Lied Sweetie.
"Then why was Babs wearing lipstick and a costume that looks exactly like me?" Asked Shirley.
"I will explain it!" Furrball exclaimed, as he walked over to Shirley. "She wanted to practice kissing with me because-"
"Wait!" Shirley interrupted, before taking Furrball's hands. "I'm sensing a feeling of passion coming from you. A feeling of a thousand flames. Does it mean what I think it does?"
"If you mean me having certain... feelings, that's what it means." Furrball replied, his face turning completely red.
Shirley didn't say anything in response at first. She just took Furrball into her arms.
"I've been waiting for someone to come forward with these kinds of feelings about me for so long!" She informed. "And I gotta say, you're pretty cute. Why don't you come with me and we can become more acquainted so we can expand our relationship."
Shirley winked at Furrball before levitating out of the room. Furrball mouthed "Thanks, you two" to Babs and Sweetie before going after Shirley. The aforementioned rabbit and bird watched proudly.
"Well Babs, we're roommates, we were newspaper writers, we were vintage clothes sellers, we were play director and stage planner, and now we're matchmakers." Sweetie commented.
"Guess we could add that to our boomie journal." Babs replied.
Suddenly, a loud explosion was heard. They looked out the window and saw that it was coming from ACME Looniversity! Inside the cafeteria, there was food splatters all over the walls and floors, some of the pots were on fire, and there was a large hole in the ceiling.
"I told you the heat was too high!" Buster yelled.
"And I told you not to interfere with my cooking!" Plucky yelled.
Here's the context: Buster and Plucky both tried to cool a meal for Penelope, and as you can see, it didn't go well for them.
"Uuh, what happened here?" Asked Lola, observing the messy kitchen.
Buster and Plucky both went into a speaking frenzy, trying to put the blame on each other.
"I have got to talk to Bugs about a pay rise." Lola sighed to herself.
As Shirley lead Furrball to her dorm room, they bumped into Penelope.
"Hi, auntie." Greeted Furrball.
"I didn't know Penelope was your auntie." Shirley replied.
"It's so nice to see you, Furrball." Penelope replied. "Almost all the students have been going crazy about me."
"Yeah, I kind of noticed." Furrball replied. "What are you going to do?"
"Well, my boyfriend is waiting for me outside." Penelope replied. "So I've got to go, but I may come back soon."
Penelope walked out of the building to a limousine. In the limousine was Pepe Le Pew.
"Bonjour, cherie." He greeted.
"You will not believe the day I had." Penelope replied, getting into the limousine.
Furrball and Shirley watched the limousine drive away from the window of Shirley's dorm room.
"Well, since you've shown to have strong feelings for me, I think I know a good way to start our relationship." Shirley informed. "Our first kiss."
Furrball's face turned red.
"Already?" He asked, as Shirley started applying lipstick herself.
"How else can first dates go well?" Shirley asked, flirtingly.
The two of them moved their faces closer to one-another's until they looked at the reader in annoyance, and made the screen go blank. After the screen went blank, a smooch sound is heard.
So, what do you think? Do you think this series is off to a good start? Anyways, in the next story: Buster and Plucky end up in detention, Babs and Sweetie have a girls day out with Shirley and Fifi, and Hamton tries to improve his funniness. See ya next time!