Stars shine brightest just before they go out. I am not afraid of disappearing. Billions of years passed before my birth, and I did not experience the slightest suffering. But ahead lies a journey, truly lonely and unimaginable. A voyage to a distant goal through absolute emptiness, with no hope of even a random encounter with a hydrogen atom. What is it like to be in the abyss and move forward with complete faith towards the mysteries of the Universe? How long will we travel? How long can we endure? The void above us, the void below us, and an even greater void between them, and that is me.

Yet, even in this empty space, I understand: getting to the other side is not difficult. The hard part is coming back.

I have faced death many times and returned each time, as if being reborn. A pure world truly exists—I know it. I have seen souls slip away there, freed from the pain and suffering of our harsh world. There are no wars, no hatred. Souls there do not find peace in the usual sense—they simply sleep forever. Maybe that is true peace? An eternal sleep without dreams, without worries and pain. I would like to get there, to escape this endless cycle of suffering and cruelty, to finally find peace.

We all hope for a worthy end to life. I have learned to accept death as an inevitable duty. If I am destined to die, I will accept it with submission. But what does it mean to truly die, forever? Will it be a solitary journey in the void or a return to the Pure world? If I can still think, it means I am not there yet.

For a shinobi, death is not just the end of the path but another stage, another trial. Every time I returned from the world of the dead, I brought back a new understanding of life and death. Now, as I stand once again on the threshold of the unknown, I realize: the real fear is not in dying but in being forgotten, in not achieving one's goal.

That's how it is… It's hard to feel the sharpness of any emotion for a long time. I think you even get tired of fearing death. Eventually, what some call indifference comes, and for others, it's a form of peace. And then new thoughts come, new reflections on the nature of existence, the inevitability of the end, and what we leave behind.

Life is a tragedy unfolding against the backdrop of infinite space, where each of us plays our role, striving to find meaning in the chaos. We live knowing that everything will end someday, that every moment of joy and sorrow is just an episode in the great drama of being. Understanding this does not bring peace, but only underscores the fragility of our aspirations and dreams.

The philosophy of the Shinobi teaches us to accept the inevitable, to see death not as an enemy but as the completion of the path. But how to reconcile with the thought that all our efforts may be in vain? That perhaps we will not achieve what we strive for? This fear—to be forgotten, to leave no trace—torments the soul more than any other.

And yet, despite this fear, I am overwhelmed by a sense of emptiness. All my efforts seem meaningless, and I begin to wonder if there was any point to it all. Maybe this is the true tragedy of our existence—the pursuit of peace that is so hard to find in life...

It's sad that love should bring joy and peace to the soul, but mine brought only pain...

— There's only one rift left in the universe, and it will soon close. Sending this projection will require a huge amount of energy. Naruto, Kurama, this is just a tactical retreat; try to come back. Sasuke Uchiha has agreed to pass on his legacy to you.

It seemed to me that in this pitch darkness I heard a familiar voice... I felt a calmness I hadn't experienced in a long time, and I was really resting. The fatigue of the past years finally began to fade, and for the first time in a long time, I could relax. Here, in this soft and warm void, I felt surprisingly comfortable. Better than the Pure world...

Perhaps I ended up in some secret rehabilitation center for shinobi, where they envelop you in warmth and care. Now that's care! They turned on the "Rest for Exhausted Ninja" program. And here, instead of fights and chaos, I'm floating in warm liquid and listening to soothing voices... It's like someone decided I really needed a break. And you know what? They're right!

Damn, this is the best vacation one could dream of! Although, most likely, I just went crazy. Who else would come up with a rehabilitation center in complete darkness? But whatever it is, I like it...

Wait... "Voice?!"

With horror, I suddenly "woke up" and realized: this voice undoubtedly belonged to Aikou! Damn it, they didn't let me die peacefully again!

This is not a fantasy! Damn it! I died in another part of the galaxy, near a red giant and a neutron star just a few light years away. How did they manage to pull my soul back?! Now I understand how those poor souls felt when we resurrected them with Edo Tensei. Just relaxed, and now back to business. It seems I won't get any rest even after death...

Why is peace such an unattainable luxury even here, in complete darkness? Now I understand why the resurrected shinobi always looked so annoyed—they were pulled back from their deserved rest into yet another war against the Ootsutsuki. Probably, each of them, upon resurrection, thought: "Here we go again!"

A bright light pierced my eyes like a knife through butter. This is the first thing the resurrected see. In the darkness, you forget what light is. And pain. Damn, who would have thought that light could be so blinding and painful? They could at least warn you that you need sunglasses and painkillers for resurrection. And I, of course, forgot again that light can be so... bright. This should be included in the resurrection manual. Respect the feelings of the resurrected, bastards! (Though I'm a bastard too.)

I was ready to blow this place to smithereens and screamed: Oaova bvalsha vafjy?! A ou mozhu...! (How much longer?! I can't...!)

Something was wrong!

What's that squeaking?! I blinked in surprise, feeling a horrible suspicion growing inside me. Have they captured my soul?! But that's impossible! Special technologies I possessed in life ensured my soul was almost perfectly protected from summoning techniques! Only certain people could handle my resurrection, and my chakra was especially protected from any interference. I died in another part of the Milky Way, where neutron stars and red giants are everywhere. How did they even manage to capture my soul?! It's hundreds of light-years from Earth, damn it!

As for creating a clone of my body, that's absolutely impossible! My soul is imbued with unique chakra that makes it immune to any cloning techniques. My chakra is not only unique but also has special protective properties developed specifically to prevent such interference. Any attempts to create a clone would face incredible difficulties due to the symbiosis with Kurama and unique protective seals placed on my genes.

These seals include complex barriers and quantum nodes that cannot be replicated without precise knowledge of their structure and secret techniques passed down only within the main people of the Federation. My heart was pounding faster, and panic began to rise, forcing me to look for any clues in this bright environment.

"Kurama! Wake up, old fox! They want to...!"

I don't know what it was, but "something" huge lifted me and opened its mouth... Nooo! I felt the ground disappear beneath my feet. Helplessly flailing my weak arms, I tried to resist in some way. Well, now I'm also a useless rag ninja on a string! But I won't give up!

Bastard, motherfucker! Come here, want to eat me? Turn me into a chakra pill? I don't care who I have to fight! If you tear off my arms, I'll kick you to death! If you tear off my legs, I'll bite you! Tear off my head—I'll kill you with a glare! And if you gouge out my eyes—I'll kill you from the other side! Ora-ora-ora...!

It's useless... The huge head kept approaching me. I felt despair, for Kurama was not responding to my calls, and I remained a helpless piece of flesh. For the first time, I felt such helplessness before an enemy. Looks like I'm about to be eaten... Expecting the terrible torments that could strike me at any moment, I continued to struggle. Then I screamed at the top of my lungs:

— U-a-a-a-a-a-a!

"Pop"

I lost consciousness.

Gok, gok, gok… Loud sounds coming from my throat echoed throughout the room.

— Oh, he's sucking so hard… Seriously, I'm afraid he's going to bite off a piece! — A long moan escaped the woman's lips.

What am I doing? No idea, it's just the instinct of this body. The long-forgotten need of the organism for food and drink came to mind. The needs of this "body" are just unthinkable! I woke up unnaturally, due to a burning hunger that never bothered me even after the fiercest battles. And now I am only concerned with one thing—this delicious drink that I am greedily consuming. Honestly, at this moment I am ready to do anything for another sip!

— His eyes are so strange?

— Maybe he's just scared of you? Did you see how he waved his hands when he saw you? Hehe.

After the unending hunger, another problem worried me—I was blind. The whole world seemed black and white, and strange, blurry silhouettes and "streams of information" flashed before my eyes. At first, I thought it was just the underdevelopment of the eyes, like in newborns. Maybe I was indeed thrown somewhere. I remembered that a newborn baby can only distinguish shades of black and white because the nerve cells of the retina and the visual centers of the brain are not yet fully formed. But several days had already passed, and I still couldn't see clearly even what was right in front of me. Am I really a child?

Moreover, I don't understand why I can understand these "people". The "stream of information" I receive from my surroundings through hearing, smell, and touch, except for vision, is incredibly vast! It's as if my brain instantly processes any data without my participation. Tactile sensations suggest that I am very tiny, and I am being held by creatures that resemble humans. Their language is completely unlike the Shinobi language: no dialect, no accent—nothing in common. But despite this, I somehow subconsciously grasp the patterns and understand their words.

This raises even more questions. I was never a genius unless it came to war and battles! Maybe my new body has some special abilities? Or is it just a strange side effect of my resurrection? Is everything going according to the "master's" plan? Anyway, there are so many riddles that I'll have to make a whole list, and honestly, I'm not ready for such a puzzle yet! My head hurts.

Returning from the other side is always a painful experience, both for the body and the psyche. I know what it's like to feel your soul being pulled from the void back into the world of the living. It's like being dragged out of icy water and suddenly thrown into a fire. Burning pain pierces every cell of your being…

My nerves are on edge, and the anxiety doesn't let up. What if this resurrection didn't go as it should? What if I am stuck between worlds, neither alive nor dead? Every sound, every touch causes a surge of anxiety. It feels like even the air around me is pressing down and threatening.

— Ore! (More!)

A hungry belly has no ears, but it has an excellent nose. All my thoughts and reflections on the world instantly disappeared as soon as I stopped feeling the flow of the delicious drink. My nostrils flared, my body tensed. I greedily consumed it nonstop, and although my brain processed a lot of information, it could not be called "consciousness". I was so exhausted that I couldn't even cry. My hands clung to the source of food, and my lips greedily sucked every drop. I acted purely on an instinctive level, like a cornered animal forced to fight for survival.

— A-ai…! He's drinking the milk too fast! — the woman's voice was a mixture of worry and fatigue. — I can't even recover fast enough…

This hunger was unbearable, I was in a hunger hell. It was impossible to think clearly, every moment felt like an eternity filled only with thirst and emptiness. I couldn't focus on anything except getting another drop of this drink.

When it ran out, it was as if I was devouring myself. I want to eat… Ramen, burger, cola, anything…

This hunger reminds me of my childhood when I was often hungry. I was misunderstood and avoided, and it was awful. Hunger is one of the most unpleasant feelings a person can experience, on par with hatred. A person must be fed. Hungry philosophers are all angry, damn it!

But if you think about it, hunger can make us see things differently. For example, why does every noodle in ramen seem like a work of art when I'm hungry? Seriously, when I eat ramen, it's not just food, it's a real jutsu created specifically to save the world! My friends laughed when I said ramen would save the world, but I'm sure Ichiraku is not just a restaurant, but a sacred place where even the angriest philosophers can find peace.

Imagine if we could hold world negotiations over a bowl of ramen? Everyone would immediately become kinder and more tolerant. Enemies would stop fighting because it's impossible to be angry when you have a bowl of hot, fragrant ramen in your hands.

So, maybe I'm not a great philosopher, but I definitely know one thing: hunger is just a sign that it's time to visit Ichiraku!

Wait. What am I even thinking about? What Ichiraku? Uncle Teuchi was torn to pieces right in front of me along with his daughter… All those I knew from my generation died in the war.

How can I think about ramen when so many people have died? My friends gave their lives, and I'm pondering food. This feeling of emptiness inside will never go away. I hate myself for this. Why am I "alive" when they are dead?

Thoughts of the past bring pain. I cannot get rid of these memories, they remind me that I couldn't protect those I loved. My nerves are on edge. How can I live knowing that they died? Self-hatred grows with each passing day. I am not great, I am just a ninja who couldn't save his friends. I don't remember how the last battle ended. What happened to Sasuke? Did we win? I don't know… Only emptiness and pain remain.

Sometimes I think about ending it all, but even that is beyond me. How can you free yourself if you don't even have the strength for that? Maybe this hunger is the universe's way of reminding me that I am still alive, even if I don't deserve it. I try to remember, I try to understand what went wrong, but my head is just foggy.

Sometimes it seems to me that I am just a shadow of who I used to be, and there is no way back. Self-hatred and helplessness consume me, leaving only one thought: why me? Why did I stay when they left?

It would be better to end it all. I want to return to that void, to the eternal sleep. Pure world… I…

— Madam! He's not breathing! Master Rudeus is not breathing!

Through the white noise, I barely heard the woman's cry. They shook me back and forth, apparently carrying me somewhere? Who is Rudeus? Though, who cares. Peace awaits me…

Suddenly, I felt a sharp jolt, as if I had been laid on a hard surface. The noise around me filled with panicked voices. Weak but rhythmic pressure on my chest echoed with dull pain and a strange feeling of emptiness inside. Suddenly, I felt a warm wave spread through my body, as if someone was pouring liquid warmth into me. It simultaneously burned and brought relief. I vaguely realized that someone was trying to resuscitate me.

— Please, hold on! We can't lose you! — the woman's voice trembled with despair and fear.

The weak compressions on my chest and gentle breaths of air were bringing me back to life. I wanted to resist, wanted to stay in the dark.

— Breathe! Breathe! — a man's voice echoed in my head.

Suddenly, I felt my lungs fill with air, and I was seized by a burning, piercing cough. Breathing deeply, I opened my eyes and saw a bright light, the faces of three "people" bent over me. These fleeting images were firmly imprinted in my mind. Warm hands, a caring look—it was all so unexpected…

And then the light went out again. Vision disappeared, leaving me once again in darkness and interference. I tried to gather my thoughts, but my mind was in chaos. Why am I still here? Pain—pain remains pain, no matter what you call it. Does it become weaker from thinking it's unreal?

— Are you okay? — the woman's voice trembled with concern.

— It will be fine, we're here, — the man's voice was firm.

I suddenly felt comfortable. The pain was so unexpected, strong, and undeserved that I didn't even cry but was simply very surprised. What just happened? Why do I feel such a strange combination of relief and pain? It was confusing me.

And then, like a bolt from the blue, I felt the wild, burning hunger again. What the hell?! I just almost died, and now my stomach is growling like crazy!

— Boobs…

Perhaps this is the first coherent word in their gibberish that I managed to utter.

Probably several months have passed. The worst thing is when you need to wait and can't do anything. That can drive you crazy. I need constant care.

— F-food. F-food. A-a-a-a, — I mumbled as the woman fed me puree with a spoon.

So good. Food 24/7, and just as often releasing it back. What a life, what a dream. It seems I have a talent only for eating and its subsequent processing. Eat, process, and so on in a circle. The great cycle of being, you know?

The food was delicious, and I enjoyed every bite. I never thought that food could bring so much joy. Though, who am I kidding? Ramen was still better. Nothing compares to a hot, fragrant bowl of ramen. This culinary nirvana will forever remain in my heart.

Several months have passed, and I still can't get used to the new surroundings. Everything seems so strange and unfamiliar. I am blind, and this doesn't allow me to fully inspect the surroundings, but it doesn't prevent me from understanding what is happening around. I clearly hear voices, feel touches, and even catch aromas. Vision is a secondary thing when you have such sensory superpowers. Well, almost.

But despite all the difficulties, there are some advantages here. Firstly, no need to fight. Secondly, I am fed delicious treats literally every minute. Though sometimes I hear very tired voices around. Their fatigue and care cause me embarrassment: they probably think I am a little tyrant demanding constant attention.

— Master Paul, we've run out of food. Master Rudeus has eaten all the supplies! — I heard a woman's worried voice.

When I eat, my consciousness returns, and I begin to think and ponder, not just process tons of information like a computer. The voice belonged to a woman named Lilia. She has been feeding me day and night all these months. I am extremely grateful to her.

— Does he have a void instead of a stomach? Shouldn't his stomach hurt from such an amount of food?

I imagined the man rubbing his face with his hands, then sweating from helplessness. Apparently, this "person" is the father of this body. I have already developed a conditioned reflex: as soon as I hear the sound of boots tapping on the floor, I immediately demand that Lilia bring me to him. Do you wonder why I want to go to him so much? Very simple! He brings groceries and various treats that I love.

Food is my lifeline. As soon as I hear the sound of footsteps, my internal anxieties and reflections retreat. "Oh, daddy, what have you brought me today?" — I mentally ask, preparing for another portion of delicacies.

— I checked Rudi's condition, and it worries me. The stomach and all organs are normal, but I don't understand where all the food he consumes goes. He is too thin and light for his size, it's like there really is a void inside him. Milk no longer satisfies him.

Let me introduce you to my dear "mom"—the kindest and gentlest woman I have ever met. Honestly, this is the first time I have felt real maternal care, dattebayo. The blonde woman I remember after they revived me. At first, I thought Lilia was my mom because she has red hair. I will always love Kushina. But then I understood the situation and realized my mistake, Zenith is my "mom".

— What about his eyes? Does he see anything?

— He reacts to flashes of light, but… his eyes see nothing.

Worry and concern. Children are not obliged to be grateful. They say they eat your food and break your heart, and you call yourself a selfish bastard. You died, and I'm still afraid I'll become like that, so I never dared to have my own children. But fate decided otherwise, and two boys and a girl appeared in my life. They grew up to be outstanding people. They became real heroes.

And only now have I realized how important parental care is for children. I regret not spending enough time with them, immersed in my own affairs and battles. Now, seeing my current parents, I understand what kind of parents one can be. I grew up without parents and had no idea how to raise children. This brings me the bitter realization of how much I missed and the regret that will always be with me. A child needs your love the most when they deserve it the least… No one knows what war is until they send their own son there…

Several weeks have passed since I began to realize myself in the new body. When I started crying and screaming for no apparent reason, Lilia looked very alarmed. She rushed to me, trying to understand what was happening. These voices give me an idea of reality, it's as if I "saw" the surroundings…

— Look at him, sir. — Lilia turned to the man, her eyes full of concern. — This is not normal. What's wrong with him?

Paul, frowning, came closer and looked at me with clear worry.

— Maybe something hurts him? But he's an infant, he shouldn't be acting like this…

Zenith, my new "mom", was already nearby, her voice full of anxiety.

— What's going on? Why is he screaming like that?

Inside, panic was growing. My heart was pounding like crazy, and I couldn't stop trembling. 'You're worthless,' — whispered inner voices, tearing my consciousness apart. My fists clenched, and soft nails dug into my palms. I knew it was a panic attack, but I couldn't do anything.

Lilia noticed my strange movements and looked at Paul with even more concern.

— Did you see his hands? Something's wrong. The young master often does this.

Zenith, noticing my clenched fists, became even more frightened.

— We need to find a way to help him. I've never seen an infant behave like this… He has a weak heart, — her voice trembled, but she tried to speak confidently.

Paul nodded, clearly not knowing what to do, and his worry only increased because of this. Zenith pressed me to her, trying to calm me with soft whispers and gentle strokes. Then she whispered words that sounded like a prayer, and I felt that strange "liquid warmth" spread through my body again.

— God's power, share your might with this person who has lost their strength. Healing! — Suddenly, I felt that same "liquid warmth" spreading through my body, warming me from the inside. It was so unexpectedly pleasant that I couldn't help but have an internal monologue.

What kind of miracle-liquid is this? Ninja vitamins? Drugs, perhaps? Though the latter was an unnecessary remark.

I didn't know what these words were, but their rhythm and subtlety penetrated the very depths of my soul as if they really had some magical power. Is it some kind of ancient technique? Or maybe it's just her love and care that affect me so much?

I seriously pondered what exactly was working so effectively, but soon returned to more amusing thoughts. Yeah, if all wounds healed so quickly from a mother's love, we wouldn't need medical ninja! — I thought, feeling the tension ease and gradually calming down.

— Everything will be fine, baby, we're here, — Zenith pressed me even closer to her, her breathing became steadier, and I realized that her spell, or whatever it was, really worked. In her arms, I began to feel peace, as if I was truly gaining strength and health.

The experience of many deaths probably played its role. I came to the conclusion: reincarnating as an infant turned out to be not that difficult. I have long suffered from many mental illnesses, but no one cared when the stakes were so high.

Besides, depression… Many call it the black dog, but I think it's more yellow, like urine. For me, it's an endless sea of excrement in which I drown, unable to find a foothold. I feel alive and dead at the same time, stuck between worlds, unable to escape.

I used to have a support, something I could rely on to keep from going completely insane. But it was destroyed. Those I loved and relied on died, leaving me in this void. Now I feel like a daisy trying to grow through the yellow desert of depression.

Suppressing emotions has become my curse, bringing only pain. I'm stuck between life and death, like a ghost in my own body. Suicidal thoughts visit me more and more often. But something holds me back from this step. Kurama, where are you, old fox, when I need you so much?

Well then — I thought, if this "healing lullaby" works, I'm all for it! I mentally chuckled, feeling myself calm down and drift into a deep sleep.